This episode starts out with "This episode of consolevania was found on a German filesharing website. the uploader is unknown", acting in a similar way to The Black Episode of Season 3. It marks the end of Consolevania, and reading more will reveal how the episode goes.
It appears to be a pretty standard Consolevania episode - Consolevania Christmas Carol, a Christmas Special. The plot sees Kenny deciding there is no Christmas, with Ryan, Rab and Joanne (most likely) appearing as the ghosts of Christmas Specials Past, Christmas Present Time, and Christmas Specials Future (based on the Dickens "A Christmas Carol" story of course). In between these is "CONSOLEVANIA'S TOP TEN GAMES OF 2008 (in no particular order)", with the games listed in the Segments segment.
However, while the Top 10 Games section starts normally, it later turns to Rab Florence voicing his concerns about continuing Consolevania and the decision to stop doing it as of this episode, marking it as the last episode produced by the team. Here is a transcript for ease of reading:
"See that last best games of the year bit, that voiceover, total shite, and here's why. Never been happy with it. And it's because at heart to say something more general. This voiceover should be telling you reasons why the games you'll be seeing in this episode are our favourites of 2008, but really there are more important matters to address. 2008 was another great year for games but we here at Consolevania almost didn't notice. For months we were reviewing games, hurrying through them, forming opinions on them, then moving onto the next. 2007 and 2008, great big golden years in gaming and we kinda missed them. In a way we missed them, and it's a delight to queue up some footage of the very best stuff of the year in this episode and say nothing more about them then that we enjoyed them, and that we're glad they exist, and that we love playing games, and that as time passes it becomes clear that what we said all along is actually the truth - maybe consolevania is no games journalist, we're no game critics, we're gamers, and we don't want to be anything else.
It is impossible to be negative about this amazing hobby of ours when you detach yourself from your perceived responsibility to entertain and just realise how lucky we are. Everything's so fucking negative and in the past we were as guilty as anybody. People have given us a lot of credit over the years for how successfully we savagely attacked games. People applauding us for reviews kicking into other peoples work. People probably set out to do a great thing with a game and took a wrong turn and along comes the online games reviewer trying to build a reputation for himself by saying the nastiest thing he can think of about a computer game that simply isn't much cop, which is hardly the greatest crime in the world.
I think what I'm trying to say is that, and you know I'm just doing all this off the cuff to try and be honest. I think what I'm trying to say is that when you look back at the history of consolevania there are things we're proud of and things we're less proud of, and I would think that the things we're less proud of are the reviews, because it's fantastic and it's funny as a review might be... it's still just a review. It's only a review. It doesn't really mean anything. Doesn't really matter. Recommendations matter, it's great when somebody expresses how passionate they feel about something, or how much they love something - that always matters. That always matters when you love something. But how much you get pissed off at somebody that did something you didn't like? Nah. Nah. Cannot say I'll be reflecting fondly on that. On my death bed.
Um, ahh. This probably sounds completely bizarre this section here but let's just keep going. These games that you're seeing are fantastic titles. A lot of them are link things. Games like, a lot of these games are linked by a sense of space...ahh...I'm not talking about the games. I'm not going to talk about these games. If you see the footage from a particular game you know we recommend them and that's enough for us this time, that's enough for us this time.
Me and Ryan worked on Videogaiden at the BBC series 3. It was 5 months of constant reviewing, slogging through games. Even games we enjoyed felt like a slog because we knew we had to get some copy and then we had to do a review and we knew we had to turn up on a Monday or a Thursday and shoot a review. And suddenly this incredible hobby of ours that me and Ryan adore, that everybody here at consolevania adores, became...a job. Work. And by the time Videogaiden series 3 finished we were scunnered, as we say in Scotland, with computer games. We didn't play anything for quite a long time. It was difficult to get our heads back into making Consolevania, because we weren't wanting to play games, weren't wanting to review games, we certainly weren't wanting to review games. And that was strange, it was strange to see your hobby stripped away from you like that. It was a hard thing to take. And I never wanted that to happen. And when I had to think about game of the year, my head says Fallout 3, because Fallout 3 was just a stand out incredible title this year. But my heart says Metal Gear Solid 4, because Metal Gear Solid 4 because Metal Gear Solid 4 is the game that restored my love for computer games, when I felt like I couldn't be bothered to look at another computer game, Metal Gear Solid 4 came along and reminded me just how much games mean to me. It reminded me that why we started making consolevania wasn't because we wanted people to hear our opinions on games. We started consolevania because we loved games and we wanted to do something about games. We certainly didn't want to be known as people who slag games off. That was never the objective. Then Metal Gear Solid 4 came along and just *sigh* just reminded me about...it's a game full of nostalgia, Metal Gear Solid 4, reminds you the age you were and what your life was like when you were playing Metal Gear Solid 1 and Metal Gear Solid 2, it was kind of looking through a family photo album playing Metal Gear Solid 4, and it made clear in my mind how much I love games, and how much I didn't want to be known for attacking games or savaging games or savaging people who make games. *sigh*
If you were to ask me how I would like to see people refer to consolevania or refer to myself and Ryan and Kenny and Joanne and Michael...it would be not as game critics, or fucking game reviewers, but just people who love games and people who tried to make people laugh. And Metal Gear Solid 4 therefore is my game of the year, because there was a guy with an incredible world that he created and story to tell and characters that he loved and it was something you could tell Kojima loves Metal Gear Solid, something Kojima loves and yet he knew when to call it a day. He knew when to wrap it up. And I can get with that. I can totally get with that."
It ends with the presenters "being killed" by some strange black box left by a orange puppet (with a phone ringing tune from the earlier Season 3), ending with the Season 3 "Tower computer" for a split second and the subtitle "- series 4 simulation ended -" appearing before the credits, which also state this is actually C3.6 - episode 6 of season 3 (following on from 4 released and 1 lost episode from that series, where the show was brought out by "The Sponsors"). When the credits song gets hung on the "Too soon" lyrics, Ziggy Springsteen ends the entire episode with a phonecall saying the show had been killed after Season 4's simulation was a success, ending that plot from series 3 (and ending in classic Consolevania mishap and extended cut).
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Reviewer:Andrew Armstrong - - January 26, 2009 Subject: A Unique Episode Truly, one of the best ways to end something is giving the reasons why during it. I fully saw why the TEAM didn't want to continue, and it's a standing tribute that they managed to add jokes to this final episode regardless of the tone.
Outstanding reasons for leaving it where it stands, even with details on how their Videogaiden show went.
Here's to hoping they go back to playing games they love till the day they die! Giving us so much for free at no small cost to themselves really put a toll on them.
(Credits music identified as Waterboys - The Whole of the Moon)
Segments
Top 10 Games: Grand Theft Auto IV, Little Big Planet, Left 4 Dead, World of Goo, Persona 3, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, *unknown game*, Dead Space, Fallout 3, Metal Gear Solid 4
(If you know the unknown game please contact andrew -at- aarmstrong -dot- org or post a comment)
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