I want to get you high, I want to get you high, I want to get you high,
Liquid Bacon is a colorless, odorless goodness; manufactured with the all-natural bare hands of an all-American family living on the proverbial family farm right here in Canada. Every bottle is delivered onto your door with the greatest of care, under the cover of night, with unconscious permission, and without your knowledge. I’m the jocular, hyper-tweaked Futureshop styled sales-team type, “So you know that what I say must be the best deal for you.” Don’t take my word for it, simply obey me and slather a bottle of its tacky charms onto your head, it goes great with Hollywood movies and major record labels. I’m telling you, Liquid Bacon is guaranteed to deliver right out of the bottle every time. And its flexible, Liquid Bacon can be applied liberally to every part of your body, depending on your mood and/or level of commitment. It’s so good, I’ve forgotten what life was like before my permanent erection.
I want to get you high, I want to get you high, I want to get you high,
Mmmmm, you can almost taste it! And it’s a highly doctor recommended, “breakfast substitute”. Lab-coated Liquid Bacon expert officials have honored the past accomplishments of Ronald MacDonald and WalMart and Disneyworld—spirit guides for the armies of willfully oblivious suburban passengers. In lockstep we salute statues, statutes, static and status. You might ask yourself, “Am I one of the many who belong to the few? Am I all that I can be? If you have to ask then you already know. And Liquid Bacon will direct you in good time. At the end of the day remember that you have plausible deniability, (simply say) “It never happened,… as such.” So worry no longer, special undisclosed additives and preservatives will prevent family or friends from evermore implicating your way of life! Reach for the smooth comfort of a body-warm bottle of Liquid Bacon and douse that head of yours with its sticky contents. It’s a wholesome no-brainer.
I want to get you high, I want to get you high, I want to get you high,
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