Cass Mann, an HIV-positive gay man and the founder of UKâs only gay menâs HIV/AIDS charity Positively Healthy (http://www.posh-uk.org.uk/), talks about the dangers of playing away. If you're in a relationship with someone and you don't know what they're doing when you're apart, or you suspect they're having sex with other partners, or they have admitted having sex with other partners, end the relationship. If your partner loves you, they won't be playing away. Cut your losses. It's not worth it. What they bring home could kill you. Today, HIV is often transmitted within relationships. You need to have a clear contract that you don't play away. There's some talk about negotiated safety in relationships where if you play away, you use precautions, but how does that work in real life? Cass doesn't want to take the risk of trusting someone with his life or to have any more nasty surprises. Open relationships are like open graves. If your relationship is enough for you, you won't play away. An open relationship is an abusive relationship. We think that the answer to all our needs is more sex and/or better sex. That's not how it works. First, get your relationship with yourself right. If you do that, you can deal with your partner. But when you don't have your relationship with yourself right, you may be relying on your partner to make up what you're missing. For more information, visit http://www.posh-uk.org.uk/ and http://www.AIDSvideos.org/.
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