Judge Archibald has been counting the election votes since early this morning.
But I can tell you right now what the score will be.
Mr. X, millions and millions.
Howdy-doody, nothing.
Say, kids, what time is it?
Happy New Year!
Well, kids, this is your old pal, Oilwell Willie.
Yes, sir, and I'm telling you, please sing good and loud for good old Howdy-doody and Buffalo Bob.
Come on, kids, let's go!
Happy New Year!
Well, say, kids, that was nice going.
Yes, sir, I bet Buffalo Bob heard that all the way up there at Wrinklemeyer's Rest.
And, say, you know why Buffalo Bob is up there today now, don't you?
Yes, you do, yes.
Oh, gosh, Willie, I'll bet every kid knows how Buffalo Bob got stuck in Wrinklemeyer's Rest.
I know it too, Howdy.
It's because that wise guy, Phineas T. Bluffs, to play a trick on him,
and sent all the Howdy-doody votes up there by bus.
Yes, sir, and poor Buffalo Bob went up after him.
But he can't possibly get back here with him till, well, till a couple of minutes before tomorrow's show starts.
And that means my votes will never get counted.
You're right, Howdy.
And it's terrible, I say, it is terrible!
Because Judge Archboar has got to stop counting at the official minute.
And that is two minutes to six, Doodyville time tomorrow.
And no matter how many votes are counted or how many votes are not counted.
Well, anyway, let's show the kids our counting machine, Willie.
Oh, yes, sir. Here we are right here.
Look at that. No votes for Howdy, no ballots for Howdy, but plenty for Mr. X.
Oh, yes.
This is terrible.
I'm going to, sir, one million nine hundred and ninety five thousand votes for Mr. X and none for Howdy-doody.
Oh, this is bad.
One million nine hundred and ninety five thousand and one.
Yes, sir.
Put another one there. Be careful.
And they all go in. That's one million nine hundred and ninety five thousand and two.
Yes, sir. And here goes another one there. So ring them twice for that.
Oh, yes. I say this is a frightfully big job, Roy Well.
I should have him finish counting Mr. X's votes.
Oh, this is dreadful.
Goodness knows, you know, I'll never have time to count all of Howdy's votes if they don't get out till tomorrow.
Oh, this is bad.
I may even end up at the official minute with, well, many millions of votes for Mr. X and only eight or nine little baby votes for Howdy.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Howdy-doody can't possibly win.
I might as well start making plans for Mr. X's victory party right now.
Ha, ha, ha. Hooray for Mr. X.
Well, boy, Mr. Buster sure fixed us this time. Gosh.
And there isn't a thing we can do about it.
And poor Buffalo Bob, might as well admit it, poor Buffalo Bob, he must be awful lonesome up there.
Say, say, I know what. Let's turn on the super talk scope and see what Buffalo Bob is doing up there at Rinkermeyer's Rest.
How about it? Okay, Howdy?
Okay, Willie, but boy, oh, boy, I hate to think what he must be going through.
Oh, it's pretty bad. Pretty bad. Well, here we go. Come on, we put on the old talk scope here.
Set up the dial. Set it for about 500 miles, I guess.
And here we go.
Well, see, there he is now. That's his showcase. I recognize him.
Oh, flies, flies, but flies.
Boy, am I ever going to give Buster a piece of my mind.
Making me chase all the way up here to get back all these bags full of howdy-doody votes.
Boy, oh, boy.
Finneas T. Bluster.
He said that this place was far away from everything. And boy, oh, boy, for once he wasn't kidding.
Well, I don't know what to do.
I might as well get these bags over at the bus station.
No trains. No planes.
Just one slow bus.
And votes.
Oh, boy, have we ever got votes.
Millions of them.
But what good are they? I can't get them back so that Judge Archibald can count them.
Oh, I don't know what to do.
Boy, after the terrific campaign that howdy-doody put on, getting all these votes.
Now it looks as if we'll never get them there for them to count them.
So after the wonderful campaign that howdy put on, it looks like he's going to lose the election to Mr. X.
Do that fly. Do that fly.
Wait a minute. Bob!
No.
Wait till I get that Mr. Bluster.
Gosh, ain't that tough. That poor, buffo Bob.
Yeah, and poor howdy.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, there's just got to be some way of beating this thing.
Some way to get my votes, my ballots back here in dutyville and today.
How can you? It's absolutely hopeless.
There are no trains and no airplanes.
Oh, I know, I know.
Nothing flies in and out of Wrinklemeyer's Rest except a lot of mosquitoes and horse flies.
But let's see now. Now if we can only, you see if we can...
Oh, wait a minute. Oh, boy, oh, boy, kids, I got it. I got it. I got it.
Well, tell us, what do you mean, Howdy?
Now, listen everybody.
Oh, boy, this is going to do it. This will save the day for sure.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
Wait a minute. What are you talking about? Say it, say it, Howdy.
Look, Bob. The arrow doodle.
Don't you get it?
What?
We'll use my super sensational, super fast arrow doodle.
The arrow doodle, hotchie-totchie.
But how are we doing?
Don't you see, Flob, the arrow doodle is so fast, it goes over a thousand miles an hour.
That's right.
And boy, oh, boy, it can get to Wrinklemeyer's Rest and back in, oh, in just five or six minutes.
By sure. Say, we can keep on flying it back and forth and back and forth.
And each time it gets up there to Wrinklemeyer's Rest,
Bumbley Bob can, well, he can fill it up with your votes, Howdy Doody.
And then it'll fly back here to Doodyville.
And maybe, maybe we'll have all the votes back here before the end of the day.
All right, Willie, it's a great idea, Howdy Boy.
Well, come on, come on, let's get going fast.
Who, who's going to fly the arrow doodle?
Who'll fly it?
Flop-a-dub Junior, of course.
He's the smallest aviator here.
That's right. He's little and he's light and he won't slow down the ship
and he'll leave more room for the ballots.
I'll go tell him right away.
Oh, boy, I'm so proud.
Such an important job for my son.
My boy.
He'll be able to tell his grandchildren about this.
That's right.
Junior.
Oh, Junior.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, kids, old Buffalo Bobby's surprised when he sees Junior flying in on the arrow doodle.
Wait, Flop, I'll help you find Junior.
Hotchie-totchie, let's see how Judge Archibald is coming along with those, those X-Ropes.
What are you doing there, Judge?
Oh, I'm afraid to look, but tell me what's the score, Judge Archibald?
Oh, my goodness, yes, sir.
Oh, getting close to two million votes, eh?
And plenty more X-Ropes here to count.
Yes, sir.
Not one howdy-doody vote.
Not even one.
Ain't even a ballot I mailed up there to Wrinklemeyer's Rest.
This is terrible, Clarence.
Terrible, terrible.
Hurry up, Flop, Junior.
Oh, I wish there was something I could do about me, she.
I guess there just ain't nothing.
No, sir, X has all the votes.
Howdy-doody has absolutely none.
And, well, that's all there is to it.
I'm just going to give up, I think.
That's what I was thinking, though.
Very sad.
Hmm, let's see, nine hundred and ninety-eight thousand.
I'm so tired from all this counting, I don't know.
Let's see, I have one million nine hundred and two counting my index finger.
I never count my index finger.
Let's see here.
There's one from Gerard Garbage Bail.
Let's see here.
Oh, that's right, that's right.
Something wrong, Clarence?
Something wrong there, I see.
Look, Poopsy.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes indeed, boy.
Oh, you crazy clown.
You silly clown.
What's the idea there, then?
Hey, Poopsy, boy.
See, here I am.
Cluppers Up Junior.
Here's Junior and the Aredoodle.
Hurry.
I'm reporting for action, sir.
Yes, sir.
Cluppers Up Junior, I'm ready to help.
I'm ready to help out and do my duty.
Howdy-doody.
Yeah, sure.
Hey, you know where to go?
I said you do.
You know, you got to stop here and do the duty.
Howdy-doody, Boach.
And say howdy-doody to Buffalo Wild Boach, will you?
Yeah, boy, you're rushing me, kid.
Now, now, now, don't waste another second, Plupp.
Off you go.
So long.
Good luck.
See you when you get back.
Good-bye.
Hotchy-touchy.
There's your Hotchy-touchy, kids.
You know, Junior, he'll get up there and get those boats back here to duty, Bill Boach.
And from now on, it's a race against the clock.
Now, at least Howdy has a chance.
Yes, sir, he has a chance to win, even if it is just a very tiny chance.
Yes, sir, boy, it sure is fun running for president.
Ain't it, kids?
Yeah.
Yes, any of you kids here who'd like to run for president?
Any of you kids?
Well, say, we have a lot of future presidents here.
Look at all the girl presidents.
Well, here's a nice-looking boy here, say, he'd make a good-looking president.
Now, tell me, sonny, what's your name?
Harry Dorman.
Harry Dorman?
Larry Dorman.
Oh, Larry Dorman.
Well, now, tell me, Larry, if you ran for president and you were lucky enough to get
elected, what would you do to change things in the country?
Do you have any ideas?
Hmm?
Fix televisions.
You'd fix televisions?
Well, how do you mean you'd fix them?
You mean you'd take them apart and put them together again?
You would?
You think if you got one apart, you'd know how to put it back together again?
Huh?
Maybe.
Maybe?
Well, in other words, if you were president, you might put out a little pamphlet that would
tell people how to take their television set apart and how to put it back together again,
right?
Okay, well, that's pretty good.
We'd have some good work in television sets.
How about this little young lady right here?
Stand up, honey.
That's it.
Now, what's your name, hmm?
Judith Ann Lang.
Well, Judith, now, if you happen to be elected president, of course you realize you'd be
the first lady president ever elected, don't you?
Now, if you were elected, you tell us, what would you do to make this great country of
ours even greater, huh?
Well, I, this would be great for everybody.
Oh, good, good.
I would, I would let magic do everything and the people could rest all the time.
You'd let magic do everything and the people could rest?
Well, I think-
And even when the children have to go out and play at Great Affairs on piano and other
instruments, they would know how to do it, even though the magic did it for the lessons.
Yeah, well, who's gonna, who's gonna handle the controls of all this magic?
I would.
Oh, you would?
I see, and you'd let everybody else rest.
They wouldn't have to work or do anything, huh?
Because the magic, all I would have to do is wag my hand once and then I could rest
the whole day, too.
Well, say, that's pretty good.
Well, I hope you have good luck if you ever run.
Now, how about somebody else here?
Who else would like to be president?
Oh, how about this little young lady here?
Oh, this is her sister.
Well, maybe we could have a team or something.
Now, tell me, if you were elected president, what would you do, hmm?
I would let everybody do whatever they wanted to do.
You would let everybody do whatever they wanted to do.
Well, such as?
Now, what would you like to do if you were elected, huh?
You'd let everybody do what they wanted to do, and what would you like to do most, hmm?
I'd like to do what everybody else would do.
You'd like, you'd like to do what everybody else is doing?
Well, wouldn't that get a little monotonous, hmm?
Wouldn't you like to have a variety of things happening?
Well, anyway, you say you'd let everybody do what they wanted to do.
Well, you and your sister make a pretty good team, let me tell you that.
Who else here would like to be president?
Yay!
How about this little boy?
Come on, sonny, stand up.
Now you tell old Wile Wile Willie what your name is, huh?
Billy.
Billy, I see.
Now, say we counted up the votes, and your name is on the ballot box here,
and it just turned out that everyone voted for you, and they elected Billy,
president of the great United States.
Tell us, what would you do, hmm?
Well?
Well, that's a good start.
Make bigger wells and deeper wells, huh?
Come on there, Billy, now you tell us.
And, um...
You'd make bigger and deeper wells, and, uh...
Make more lakes?
More lakes.
Well, we've got a good number of lakes.
Yes, what else?
Enlarge the rivers?
Uh-huh.
Bigger and deeper rivers, yes.
More factories?
More factories.
We'll have to use some of that magic that young lady suggested there,
if we have more factories.
Go ahead.
And maybe...
Yeah?
Um...
Maybe what?
Higher mountains?
Uh-huh.
Okay, we'll have higher mountains.
Yeah.
And, uh...
That...
And more counties.
Say, excuse me, kids, wait just a minute, wait just a minute here.
Fire bill?
Fire bill?
Fire bill, what are you doing?
Huh?
Fire bill, can't you see I'm busy talking to the kids?
Now, come on, will you stop that and go play someplace else?
Go on.
Get...
Get...
Get...
Get...
Hey!
That looks like fun!
Oh, uh, gosh, I will, Willie.
Don't you know about our wonderful offering?
Well, I guess I better tell you about it.
And the kids, too.
Now, you see, the folks who make Fifth Avenue candy bars
are offering these wonderful punch of balloons
to all the boys and girls that watch this show.
Well, see, how do you get one, Howdy?
Oh, well, gosh, that's easy, Willie.
Now, all you have to do is to send one wrapper
from a delicious Fifth Avenue candy bar
along with 10 cents and your name and address
to Howdy Doody, Box 55, New York, 14 New York.
And that's all there is to it.
Now, hee-hee-hee!
Say, this is fun!
And, boy, I sure do like those Fifth Avenue candy bars.
Yeah, sure.
And I'm going to send for my punch of balloons
right after the show.
Hee-hee-hee!
Oh, this is fun!
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Yeah, sure, this is wonderful fun.
And, oh, say, look at that wonderful picture
of Howdy Doody right here on the balloon.
Isn't that wonderful?
Oh, that's fun.
Hey, kids, I wonder if that fluffed-up junior
got to Wrinklemeyer's rest in the air too yet.
Oh, boy, he ought to be landing just about now, Willie.
Come on, let's tune in on that super-tachyscoping city.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, kids, cross your fingers.
Come on now, tune it in.
Good and sharp here, Carvel.
That's it, tune it in.
There, we're getting something.
Keep working at it.
There.
There, hotchy-totchy.
Oh, those flies.
Oh, heavens.
I've still got more than six hours to wait
before that bus starts back for Doodyville.
Well, gee, kids, I'm afraid that Howdy has just sunk.
I won't be able to get all these votes back there to Doodyville
in time for Judge Archibald to count them.
Boy, Archibald will have about 20 minutes
to count over two million votes, and that's impossible.
Absolutely impossible.
Howdy has sunk.
Absolutely sunk.
If there were only some way that I could get these votes...
Hey, wait a minute.
What's that I hear?
Isn't that a motor?
I sure...
Well, I'll be swoozled.
Well, for heaven's sakes, it's some kind of an airship.
And it's heading right this way.
And it's going to land right here.
Well, no, it can't be.
Well, yes, it is.
It's our Aero-Doodle.
And that looks like Flub Junior is in it.
It's circling around here, and there it comes,
and he's circling down to...
Well, here comes Flub Junior and Howdy's Aero-Doodle.
Here he is, pilot Flub Junior.
Hi, Papa.
Come on in for a landing.
I hope so.
Careful now.
Why?
Right here.
How?
Oh, well, this is wonderful, Flub Junior.
Well, what a surprise.
Pilot Flub Junior reporting with orders
from Commander Howdy Doody.
Well, what are you doing here with the Aero-Doodle, Flub Junior?
It's an emergency flight, Operation Save the Nation.
Yeah?
Howdy sent me to pick up the boats
and take them back to Doodyville.
Well, that's a terrific idea.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Aero-Doodle goes so fast
that you might be able to fly back and forth enough times
to deliver all the boats in time to be counted by the judge.
Yeah, I sure can try, boy.
Let's get going, Bubba Bubba.
Hey, that's great.
I want to get going, boy.
All right, now, wait a minute.
Be careful.
I am careful.
Say, this is wonderful.
This is wonderful.
Look, I'll take some of these boats.
All right.
And I'll just...
Put them in the aft.
Put them in here.
Or in the aft of the ship.
Boy, this is wonderful.
Say, this is a great idea.
Boy, from stem to stern, we'll have letters...
Now, look.
...from stem to stern.
I want you to fly just as fast as you possibly can, Bub.
You know I will.
All right.
Boy.
What a great idea.
Boy, I'm...
I'm...
I'm certainly...
Now, you can take that pile there.
Boy, oh, boy.
Here.
You're probably wondering how Archibald's coming with the carriage, huh?
Oh, I take it, yeah.
Well, that's what made me so angry.
We got all these boats here,
and there's nothing to do with them.
Yeah.
Well, I think he's added up almost 2 million votes for Mr. X by now.
Oh, this is great.
How's that right there, Bub?
Yes, boy.
Yes.
Stick it on the propeller wing type thing.
All right.
Wow.
I put one over here.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Will Mr. Buster be surprised.
You're going to stab the digitalis though if you put any there.
Yes, sir.
There you are, Bub.
How does that look?
Boy, it certainly looks like man-crawl.
I want to balance the weight here.
Do that, yeah.
So that you have no trouble.
All right.
There you are, Bub Junior.
Boy, oh, boy.
Is it loaded?
I think it's loaded.
Yes, sir.
Now, look, that's a full load.
So you go ahead.
You take off, and you come back for another load as fast as you can, okay?
Boy, yes, sir.
Here I come.
Atta boy.
Good luck, Bub Junior.
Okay.
Careful.
Yeah.
Careful.
Can't get me from the mail without a scorecard here.
Atta boy.
Bye.
Bye, Bubba Bob.
Careful.
Safe journey.
Yeah, boy.
I wish him luck.
So long, Bub Junior.
Bye.
Oh, boy, what a terrific idea.
Yes, sir, kids.
Maybe Howdy has a chance after all.
Maybe.
Bye, Bubba Bob.
Boy, here I am.
Where be it?
Touchy, touchy.
Touchy, touchy.
Touchy, touchy, kids.
Say, kids, Bub Junior, he's on his way to the mail.
He's got hundreds of Howdy Doody votes.
Isn't that great?
Yeah.
And then you know what?
Then he'll take right off again for another load.
Yes, sir.
One million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety eight.
I only had to stay there.
I'm getting so tired.
There you go, votes.
One million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine.
Oh, here I go again.
One million nine...
Oh, no.
Goodness.
This is two million.
Two million.
Oh, yes, sir.
And this is the last one here.
Just one left.
The last expert.
And here it goes.
Two million and one votes for Mr. X and none for Howdy Doody.
And now, thank goodness I laugh.
I can rest my weary bones.
Oh, good luck.
I really rested my weary bones.
Yes, indeed.
I'll take the rest of the bones.
Hey, you're breaking the machine here.
Yes, you're breaking our bones.
I feel pretty sorry for you.
I know you're pretty tired.
I just stand with those spooky machines, you know.
I hope you're going to start counting Howdy Doody votes pretty soon.
Yes, I suppose so.
Wait, listen.
Listen, son.
Howdy, you hear that?
Hear that, kid?
Sounds like the air in here is getting pretty heavy.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, no.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
It is the air in here.
Here she comes.
Hey, happy landing.
Happy landing.
Here I am.
Oh, this is wonderful.
Hooray for Junior.
Yeah, boy.
I made it.
Listen.
Listen, Orwell.
Nice work.
I made the trip in four minutes, 57 and a half seconds, flat.
Next time, I'll have a big time.
Yes, it's a nice load in here.
We're going to take these right off.
Come on, boy.
Hurry up, Bob.
We've got to get unloaded.
We've got to get off again.
We've got to take off everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Boy, I can hardly wait.
Here's another batch up here.
We've got hundreds and hundreds, maybe thousands.
I knew there were over 15.
Got everything?
Here's some more in here.
This is wonderful, Bob Junior.
Say you did a magnificent job.
Good night.
Here, now, you take those over to Judge Archibald.
Now, hurry up.
You go up for another load, quick.
Go ahead.
Take off.
That's it.
Show them off.
Wow.
What a load.
Show them off.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
Show them off.
Come on.
Bring back a big load.
Right there.
You know me.
Yes, sir.
Hurray for Junior.
All right, now, here's the first batch of heavy duty votes.
Come on, Judge.
Get up and at them, man.
We haven't got a minute to lose.
Hurry up.
Come on.
Start counting.
Start counting.
I'm so tired I'm exhausted.
I hope I can sleep for a little while.
Oh, I'm sorry for you, Judge.
Come on.
Start counting them.
Because after the election, you can sleep for a year.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Start counting.
Start counting.
Come on.
Come on.
Start counting them, Judge.
Are we padding or...
We haven't got any time.
I'm going right away.
A job is a job and mine is to be done.
I know that.
I'm going to go.
All right, now, one vote for heavy duty.
Carry on, Junior.
I'm so tired.
That's it.
That's it.
Come on, another one.
Two votes for heavy duty.
Atta boy, Junior.
Hurry, bells are ringing.
Bells are ringing for me and Mikel.
Hurry up.
Here we go.
Three votes for heavy duty.
Right now, though.
Oh, well.
Atta boy, Arch.
You're a good boy, Junior.
Atta boy, Arch.
You stay right with it.
Now, maybe it's impossible for you to get all my votes counted by two minutes to six
tomorrow, but oh, try, Judge, try.
Please stay awake and try, try, try.
Yes, sir.
See, isn't this wonderful?
Look at this.
Did you boys and girls know that the same people who make those delicious Fifth Avenue
candy bars also make gluten, wild cherry cough drops?
Well, they sure do, and that is why they're both so good.
Oh, gosh, boy, I really love the flavor of Luden's wild cherry cough drops.
And now, with the colder weather, it's time to start thinking about those annoying coughs
due to colds.
And that's when it's the time to think about Luden's wild cherry cough drops, because Luden's
wild cherry cough drops are flavored to taste good and medicated to do good.
And see, boys and girls, you can get your swell punch-a-balloon by sending in a wrapper
for either a Fifth Avenue candy bar or an empty Luden's wild cherry box.
Just send your Fifth Avenue wrapper or Luden's wild cherry box to howdy-doody, box 55, New
York 14, New York.
Oh, let me see.
Oh, I'll have the strength there from the ballot box, yeah.
243 for howdy.
Oh, 244 for howdy.
Oh, I see, Artie, you're beginning to move along there, huh?
Gosh, now I'm using any chance of howdy-doody to catch up in time, you know.
Oh, only a little chance of so, with a very small vote.
Oh, I see.
Well, keep your chin up, howdy.
Keep it up, boy.
Which way?
That's right, and be with us tomorrow, kids.
Tomorrow we'll tell the story of whether your president will be howdy-doody.
That's it.
Or Mr. X.
Oh, boys, and it can be me, kids, if...