THE BANTU OF KAVIRONDO 207
he can turn for economic support, for help in a quarrel or dispute, for a share in garden land, or on whose goodwill he depends to conduct his marriage successfully. The frequency and formality of the visits are graded according to the type of the relationship and depend, to some extent, on the personal factor. But even nowadays, where new conditions have loosened traditional behaviour considerably, the formal exchange of visits is still observed with a regularity that allows only little room for personal likes and dislikes. The refraining from mutual visits, on the other hand, is equivalent to the absence of an effective social relationship. When the laws of exogamy were stated to me, the persons that may intermarry were frequently defined as 'the people who do not visit one another*. This absence or cessation of mutual visits is taken as a clear indication of the absence of any social bond which might come into conflict with the establishment of the marriage bond. People who have had a serious quarrel break off their mutual relations by strictly avoiding common participation in a dance, meat-feast or beer-feast, even if they meet accidentally at a third man's place. If their quarrel has been settled, the relationship is resumed again by a ceremonial exchange of visits, accompanied by certain ritual observances. The same attitude prevails between a newly married man or woman and their respective parents-in-law. The initial avoidance between them is not personal, but extends to their respective houses. After the birth of the first or second child, they terminate the avoidance ceremonially by paying formal visits to each others' houses.
The exchange of gifts fulfils the same purpose and is usually linked with the exchange of visits, although it is here more difficult to distinguish between the exchange of gifts as a means of maintaining a relationship and as the fulfilment of that relationship. Smaller gifts, such as accompany the ordinary exchange of visits, clearly belong into the first category. They are "real* gifts in the sense that they are given voluntarily to a measure and that reciprocity is not strictly observed and checked up.
The larger gifts—of stock or grain—which are exchanged at definite occasions between definite categories of persons are rather mutual obligations than gifts, as they are not voluntary but strictly reciprocal. In case of refusal, the gift is either fetched by force or the relationship ceases to exist, as the reciprocal gift will, of course, be likewise refused. As, however, years may legitimately pass