WEBVTT Kind: captions; Language: en 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:25.000 The early teens are years of upheaval and turmoil. Their years of physical and 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:29.001 glandular change, new and wider relationships with people, and new inner feelings 00:00:29.001 --> 00:00:35.000 in the early adolescent. Parents of almost every child find the age of puberty or 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:39.001 early adolescence full of problems. The knowledge that these difficulties are 00:00:39.001 --> 00:00:44.000 normal and usually only temporary helps to turn family friction into more 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:49.001 constructive channels. Let's watch some of these youngsters as they spend Friday 00:00:49.001 --> 00:00:54.000 afternoon and evening. We'll see what some of the common troubles are. 00:00:57.001 --> 00:01:02.001 Sally, Joan, and Kay are typical teenagers. Each has their own 00:01:02.001 --> 00:01:04.000 personality, but they're all normal. 00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:07.001 Their actions may seem excessive, but that's normal for teenagers. 00:01:10.001 --> 00:01:12.000 For instance, that giggling. 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:20.001 The unconstructive criticism of school. Personally, I think Mr. Aldridge's 00:01:20.001 --> 00:01:26.000 classes are just a waste of money. I can't be bothered studying. Why, you know, 00:01:26.001 --> 00:01:29.000 this morning we spent 20 minutes before we even opened a book or read anything. 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:36.000 The criticism of families. This week my brother spent all his allowance on candy 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:39.001 in one day. I think it's awful the way a mother lets him waste money. 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:44.001 Of course, she lets him do anything he wants. The unrealistic 00:01:44.001 --> 00:01:46.001 ideas of their own future. 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:51.000 I really decided I'd like to be a ballet dancer. I get started in New York and I 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:54.000 tour all over the country. I'd sure hate to spend 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.001 the rest of my life in this old zone. 00:01:56.001 --> 00:01:59.001 Yes, if you don't make an effort to understand them, teenage girls may 00:01:59.001 --> 00:02:01.001 seem silly and opinionated. 00:02:06.001 --> 00:02:07.001 And the boys. 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:09.001 Best picture in the National League. 00:02:09.001 --> 00:02:10.000 He is nice. 00:02:10.001 --> 00:02:12.000 Ah, yes, he is. 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:16.001 They want to prove their own importance by making themselves heard. That 00:02:16.001 --> 00:02:20.000 combination of new lung power, changed voices and boundless 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:21.001 energy is hard on the neighbors. 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:33.000 They seem to spend hours in completely useless activity. They quarrel a lot, but 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:36.000 the gang sticks together. There are no girls in it. 00:02:37.001 --> 00:02:44.000 They are passionately interested in sports and hero worship from afar is common. 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:52.001 A car and home, as good as the other boys have, are 00:02:52.001 --> 00:02:56.001 important. The gang is impressed by material possessions. This 00:02:56.001 --> 00:02:58.001 bolsters Tom's self-esteem. 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:02.000 To boast about dad's popularity or achievement is very satisfying. 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:13.001 The adolescent is self-centered. Bill's response to every situation is 00:03:13.001 --> 00:03:15.000 concerned with how it affects him. 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:18.000 My old man's got an order and an O'Neill's motor is for a new convertible. 00:03:18.001 --> 00:03:20.000 We're going to get the first one that comes in. 00:03:20.001 --> 00:03:21.001 What kind of car are you getting? 00:03:22.001 --> 00:03:27.001 Sam doesn't talk much. He feels safer saying nothing. At least then he can't say 00:03:27.001 --> 00:03:31.000 the wrong thing. This is a common method of self-protection. 00:03:34.001 --> 00:03:40.001 At home, away from the group, there are other aspects of adolescent behavior that 00:03:40.001 --> 00:03:42.000 are annoying to parents. 00:03:46.001 --> 00:03:50.000 There's the untightiness. 00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:02.001 The eternal hunger, picking at whatever is around to eat. 00:04:17.001 --> 00:04:22.001 It's certainly annoying to mother who has plans for what is to be eaten and when. 00:04:23.001 --> 00:04:27.001 But the universal appearance of these adolescent traits leads to the conclusion 00:04:27.001 --> 00:04:30.000 that they are normal and based on real needs. 00:04:31.001 --> 00:04:37.001 Kay is quite mature for her age. She's well-adjusted, accepting her defects and 00:04:37.001 --> 00:04:39.000 trying to make the most of her assets. 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:56.000 She's tremendously influenced by fashion advertisements and gets many ideas and 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:58.001 grooming from magazines, television and movies. 00:05:02.001 --> 00:05:07.000 To wear her hair and clothes according to the latest style is much more important 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:09.000 than to wear them in the most becoming way. 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:15.000 She's not mature enough yet to really own judgment. The world knows best and she 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:17.000 wants to be sure of her place in the world. 00:05:27.001 --> 00:05:32.000 Mother may have other opinions of what looks best, but of course mother 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:33.001 has old-fashioned ideas. 00:05:35.001 --> 00:05:39.001 Kay's mother is always a little overwhelmed by the extremes to which her suddenly 00:05:39.001 --> 00:05:42.000 grown-up daughter carries her ideas of style. 00:05:42.001 --> 00:05:46.001 If it's the style to be careless and informal, her sloppiness is so 00:05:46.001 --> 00:05:48.000 deliberate as to be offensive. 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:54.000 But mother has learned that these things are usually temporary. The less said 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:56.001 about them, the more quickly they wear off. 00:05:57.000 --> 00:06:00.000 Objection often brings friction without any change. 00:06:01.001 --> 00:06:05.001 Half an hour after she has left her friends, she's on the phone to them again. 00:06:09.001 --> 00:06:11.000 Hello, is Joni there? 00:06:12.001 --> 00:06:16.000 It seems unnecessary, but there's a real need for talking to others in the same 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:20.001 stage for constant reassurance of her standing as friend and equal. 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:24.001 Hello, Joni. Look, I've got an idea. Why 00:06:24.001 --> 00:06:26.000 don't we go down to Johnson's after supper? 00:06:27.001 --> 00:06:30.000 Maybe some of the gang will be there and we can cook up something. 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:34.001 Gee, Kay, I'm awful sorry. I can't go. I have to stay home tonight. 00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:39.000 Well, why don't you ask Sally? Maybe she can go. 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:42.000 Okay, I'm awful sorry. 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:46.001 Joni is not as independent as Kay is, perhaps because she hasn't been 00:06:46.001 --> 00:06:48.000 encouraged to stand on her own feet. 00:06:50.001 --> 00:06:54.001 There is no friction in Joni's family life. Her mother finds her a very good 00:06:54.001 --> 00:06:58.001 girl, not headstrong and flighty like so many of her friends seem to be. 00:06:58.001 --> 00:07:04.000 She takes her schoolwork seriously, perhaps too seriously. She has high standards 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:09.000 for herself, and if she falls below them, her insecurity and worry are increased. 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:14.000 Jon seems to be coming quietly through these difficult years, but the stress and 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:18.000 strain are there and result in an almost complete withdrawal from people. 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:22.000 She does a lot of daydreaming, imagining herself as the 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:23.001 extrovert that she is not. 00:07:23.001 --> 00:07:28.001 She goes over and over little events in her life, reliving her successes and 00:07:28.001 --> 00:07:31.000 suffering through her failures all over again. 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:39.001 Joan doesn't have emotional outbursts. Her safety valve is her diary. Here, she 00:07:39.001 --> 00:07:44.000 is herself, letting off emotional steam and clarifying her 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:45.001 thoughts about growing up. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:02.000 And Sally's home life? Her mother doesn't intend to relax her discipline 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:04.001 now, just when Sally needs it most. 00:08:04.001 --> 00:08:10.000 Oh, no Kay. Just a minute Kay. Mother, can't I even answer the 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:11.001 phone without you listening in? 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:15.001 Sally, I don't want you going out tonight. You've been out far too much lately. 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:23.001 All right, Kay, I'll go. I suppose mother will make a fuss, but I'll be there. 00:08:24.001 --> 00:08:29.000 Sally wants independence, and this knocking out of the parental prop leaves her 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:31.001 no support, but the opinion of her friends. 00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:34.001 She must maintain her position with them at any cost. 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:40.000 Oh, don't let's ask her. She thinks she's so smart. Personally, I can't see what 00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:43.001 she has to be stuck up about, except a lot of expensive clothes. 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:46.000 Anybody look good with all that money. 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:53.000 In her need for assurance, Sally tries to avoid girls who are more attractive or 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:55.001 have more money or clothes than she has. 00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.000 She wants to have friends on her own level. 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:02.000 Did she? That just shows how stupid she is. 00:09:02.001 --> 00:09:07.000 The long conversations irritate Sally's mother. She doesn't see them as part of 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:11.000 her daughter's adjustment to other people and to herself, for Sally is 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:13.000 thinking out loud as she talks. 00:09:14.001 --> 00:09:19.001 Now let's see how the boys get along at home. Remember, Sam didn't talk much with 00:09:19.001 --> 00:09:25.000 the crowd. He was more of a listener. At home, he is more sure of himself. 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:34.001 His dog provides a great source of comfort and security. Whatever Sam does is all 00:09:34.001 --> 00:09:38.000 right with him. He's always willing to listen to what Sam has to say. 00:09:44.001 --> 00:09:50.001 But there are many questions Sam wants to ask. Many incidents of the day he 00:09:50.001 --> 00:09:52.000 wants to share with his parents. 00:09:52.001 --> 00:09:55.000 And then they know where to go. And it's all done by 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:57.000 code. Did you know that, Pap? 00:09:58.001 --> 00:10:00.000 Everybody knows that, son. 00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:04.000 Did you know that, ma'am? 00:10:04.001 --> 00:10:07.001 Yes, dear. Oh, by the way, I wonder if we could go up and feel things. 00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:13.000 Sam's parents sometimes think he talks too much. They don't realize that the son 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:16.001 wants to practice his conversational ability on them. 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:21.001 Someday, when he is sure of himself, outside, they may have difficulty in 00:10:21.001 --> 00:10:23.000 finding out what his thoughts are. 00:10:24.001 --> 00:10:30.000 On the other hand, Tom, who talked so much about his father's achievements, seems 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:32.000 most unappreciative of them at home. 00:10:34.001 --> 00:10:37.000 And he seems to have no ambition. 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:49.000 Sometimes his father wonders if he's all right mentally. He is. But early teens 00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:51.000 are years of uneven development. 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:56.000 There are spurts of mental energy as well as physical. And at other times, 00:10:56.001 --> 00:10:58.000 nothing seems to be happening. 00:10:58.001 --> 00:11:04.001 In reality, just as Tom's body needs rest after strenuous exercise, so his mind 00:11:04.001 --> 00:11:07.000 needs time to adjust to its new learning. 00:11:10.001 --> 00:11:12.000 And Bill's home life? 00:11:12.001 --> 00:11:15.001 Where have you been all afternoon? Your father wanted you to cut the grass, and I 00:11:15.001 --> 00:11:18.000 had some errands I wanted you to do. Now get busy or he'll be annoyed. 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:20.000 So what? 00:11:21.001 --> 00:11:26.001 Bill may be willing to cut the grass sometimes when he feels like it, but rules 00:11:26.001 --> 00:11:31.000 and jobs laid down too firmly by the top grass make him resentful. 00:11:31.001 --> 00:11:36.000 Bill is at that stage just before puberty when children seem to go into reverse. 00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:39.000 Psychologists call it a negative phase. 00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:43.000 Bill, do you mean to say you haven't finished that lawn yet? 00:11:43.001 --> 00:11:45.000 I don't notice you cutting any grass. 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:49.000 No, look here, young man, I'm not going to stand that kind of backtalk. You're a 00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:52.000 member of this family and you're going to act like one. Now you finish 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:53.001 that lawn before supper or else. 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:01.000 Too strict an attitude by parents seems only to result in more resistance. 00:12:05.001 --> 00:12:09.001 Bill doesn't seem to find companionship at home or enough satisfaction from 00:12:09.001 --> 00:12:11.001 hanging around with his old friends. 00:12:12.001 --> 00:12:17.000 Subconsciously, he is looking for acceptance and help with his problems. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:24.001 Luckily, he finds a friend, older than himself, but a real guy. Bill likes to 00:12:24.001 --> 00:12:28.000 hang around the gas station helping Joe Connor who runs it. 00:12:31.001 --> 00:12:36.001 Joe finds the boy a thorough worker and they have lots to talk about. Local 00:12:36.001 --> 00:12:40.001 gossip, sports, cars, even the news of the day. 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:46.001 Bill feels that Joe treats him in a more grown-up way than his parents. He finds 00:12:46.001 --> 00:12:51.001 it easier to confide in Joe and he gets a lot off his chest as they chat. 00:12:56.001 --> 00:13:01.001 Sometimes, young adolescents appear to enjoy utter uselessness. 00:13:03.001 --> 00:13:09.001 But this boundless energy can be directed into useful channels. 00:13:12.001 --> 00:13:17.000 Sam and Tom belong to the Boy Scouts. Like most teenagers, they enjoy 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:19.001 constructive activity and a planned group project. 00:13:22.001 --> 00:13:27.000 It can be any community group, but organization is needed to ensure that there 00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:30.001 will be enough boys there to carry out the program successfully. 00:13:33.001 --> 00:13:40.000 While they still need adult 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:44.000 guidance, during these years the quality of leadership becomes established. 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:49.000 To be aggressive and bossy is no longer enough for the leader as it was in 00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:53.000 childhood. He must have skill in both physical and mental activities. 00:13:53.001 --> 00:13:59.000 He is usually slightly bigger or stronger than the average and has a friendly 00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:01.000 attitude and outgoing personality. 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:07.001 The leader, among adolescents, is likely to remain a leader through later life. 00:14:14.001 --> 00:14:19.000 As they move out of the sphere of home influence into the community, young 00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:21.001 teenagers feel the need of their own kind. 00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:25.000 They begin to patronize hangouts. 00:14:28.001 --> 00:14:35.001 Because girls are physically more mature than boys of the same age, most 00:14:35.001 --> 00:14:39.000 of the advances in the early teen years are made by the girls. 00:14:42.001 --> 00:14:48.000 Their efforts are crude and childish, but they're the beginnings of experiment in 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:52.000 sex adjustment. This kind of performance often shocks parents. 00:14:55.000 --> 00:15:01.001 The boys really do feel superior to those silly girls, but while they pretend to 00:15:01.001 --> 00:15:05.000 scorn their attention, they're secretly flattered. Nothing would 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:06.001 make them admit this, though. 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:12.000 Subconsciously, it takes the form of showing off to 00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:14.000 attract more of the girls' attention. 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:26.000 Kay and Sally didn't get far with the boys, but they found a 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:31.000 substitute. Identifying themselves with a glamorous movie actress who is very 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:35.001 popular with men gives them a satisfaction they couldn't get any other way. 00:15:38.001 --> 00:15:44.001 What about Joan? Doesn't she care for any activity or feel a need to admire and 00:15:44.001 --> 00:15:50.000 love someone? She does, but she has her own quiet way of working it out. 00:15:50.001 --> 00:15:55.001 She likes to cook all by herself without direction from mother or the confusion 00:15:55.001 --> 00:16:01.000 of family meals. Tonight, she's making candy. It'll be a present for her music 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:04.001 teacher, whom she's adored for a long time without telling anybody. 00:16:06.001 --> 00:16:12.000 So, six typical young teenagers have spent a Friday afternoon and evening. All of 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:15.001 them seem to have problems that worry either them or their parents. 00:16:17.001 --> 00:16:19.001 For goodness sake, Sam, go to bed. It's late. 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:28.000 All of them experienced some parental friction. 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:34.001 All want independence. 00:16:38.001 --> 00:16:44.000 All of them feel some stirrings of interest in sex, either openly or secretly. 00:16:49.000 --> 00:16:56.000 All of them are trying in their own way 00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:59.000 to adjust to a new set of circumstances and relationships. 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:04.000 Tom's parents recognize this. They're willing to help in the making of these 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:07.000 adjustments. As well as showing his interest, Tom's 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:08.001 father respects him as a person. 00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:10.001 Did you have a good meeting tonight? 00:17:11.001 --> 00:17:14.001 Oh, it was okay, but half the fellas didn't show up. 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:18.001 No. Maybe there was something else going on. 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:22.000 No, they had dates. Seems like the fellas are always going 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.001 out on dates now. They never did. 00:17:23.001 --> 00:17:27.001 He doesn't pry into Tom's affairs. The way is left open for 00:17:27.001 --> 00:17:29.001 discussion. He tries to be helpful. 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:38.000 Contrast the attitude of Bill's father. 00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:41.000 Bill, stop that racket, will you? 00:17:41.001 --> 00:17:42.000 In a minute. 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:49.000 In a minute, nothing. Right now. I'm trying to listen to the radio. Oh, putting 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:51.000 that darn thing up. No, stop it. 00:17:53.001 --> 00:17:55.001 Did you hear me? 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.001 By refusing to recognize his son as an individual with rights and wishes of his 00:18:04.001 --> 00:18:10.000 own, Bill's father not only fails to get the cooperation he demands, but actually 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:12.001 widens the gap between himself and Bill. 00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:19.001 On the other hand, Tom's parents try to handle the problems of growing up in a 00:18:19.001 --> 00:18:24.001 constructive way. They gradually increase his independence, at the same time 00:18:24.001 --> 00:18:27.001 encouraging him to accept responsibility for what he does. 00:18:28.001 --> 00:18:33.000 Therefore, Tom doesn't have to rebel. The stricter discipline of childhood has 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:36.000 given place to friendly guidance for the in-between years. 00:18:36.001 --> 00:18:41.001 Of course, having understanding parents doesn't eliminate all the problems, but 00:18:41.001 --> 00:18:46.000 it goes a long way towards lessening the tensions that give to early adolescence 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:49.000 its name, the age of turmoil. 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:06.001 Thank you.