1 00:00:29,09 --> 00:00:30,72 This thing game on table matters. 2 00:00:30,94 --> 00:00:35,56 Betty our hostess is having a few of her friends to her home for a birthday party. 3 00:00:35,92 --> 00:00:38,85 She has been to any number of little parties like this 4 00:00:38,85 --> 00:00:42,06 but this is the first time she's given a party all by herself. 5 00:00:43,42 --> 00:00:46,56 Like everyone else she thinks that her any good is perhaps not perfect 6 00:00:46,56 --> 00:00:49,10 but good enough so that there are no glaring errors. 7 00:00:49,77 --> 00:00:51,74 She is proud of her table arrangement 8 00:00:51,74 --> 00:00:53,82 and think she deserves a word of congratulations. 9 00:00:53,96 --> 00:00:57,33 But the housekeeper must tell Betty she noticed a few errors. 10 00:00:57,76 --> 00:01:02,63 On napkin is out of place the butter knife block on the butter dish not next to the 11 00:01:02,63 --> 00:01:09,22 meat and a lot of glass small matters but they're important when they show father 12 00:01:09,22 --> 00:01:11,71 or not your habits of etiquette are correct. 13 00:01:11,73 --> 00:01:15,95 See if you notice right away when someone is incorrect or is definitely correct. 14 00:01:17,61 --> 00:01:21,30 That is confidence is shaken a bit and she has doubts over correctness. 15 00:01:21,66 --> 00:01:26,47 Should she appreciated her guests into the room he directing them to their places 16 00:01:26,47 --> 00:01:29,48 properly. Should body have used place cards. 17 00:01:31,40 --> 00:01:37,10 The young man who is trying to relate to assist Betty with her chair is Bob it is 18 00:01:37,10 --> 00:01:39,89 his birthday. That is being celebrated and his hopes. 19 00:01:40,48 --> 00:01:43,12 To feel uneasy and just act as he always does. 20 00:01:43,57 --> 00:01:46,25 Notice not one of his way of opening his napkin 21 00:01:46,25 --> 00:01:48,82 and butter in his belt could be all right. 22 00:01:49,11 --> 00:01:52,46 Bernie and Helen seem quite certain of the way they open their napkins 23 00:01:52,46 --> 00:01:55,65 and place them and I have told in their laps. 24 00:01:55,67 --> 00:01:59,90 They seem to be really nice but then everyone is more of a. 25 00:02:00,00 --> 00:02:02,29 These Now that the party is really started. 26 00:02:02,31 --> 00:02:04,51 The main thing is that they should enjoy each other's company. 27 00:02:05,67 --> 00:02:08,08 And Betty and Bob aren't worrying about their mistakes for a moment 28 00:02:08,08 --> 00:02:11,80 but in the back of their minds they realize they will have to pay more attention to 29 00:02:11,80 --> 00:02:13,54 their manners. They know 30 00:02:13,54 --> 00:02:17,50 that the object of correct etiquette is not to make a life formal and dollars 31 00:02:17,50 --> 00:02:19,03 but to make it fully enjoyable. 32 00:02:19,56 --> 00:02:23,57 There are reasons for each activity good as in a man's assisting a lady with her 33 00:02:23,57 --> 00:02:23,84 chair 34 00:02:23,84 --> 00:02:33,53 or the order with which people are. 35 00:02:34,99 --> 00:02:37,43 Bob is hungry and the soup looks good. 36 00:02:39,95 --> 00:02:42,14 He is using his company manners 37 00:02:42,14 --> 00:02:45,41 but as we see he is doing at least three things wrong. 38 00:02:46,90 --> 00:02:50,49 Not at the soup a service that he sees that the crackers are passed. 39 00:02:50,92 --> 00:02:53,90 Floyd passes the crackers to Dorothy and before he helps himself. 40 00:02:54,36 --> 00:02:58,74 Should he have helped himself first two are not. 41 00:02:58,75 --> 00:03:01,81 Bob is eating before the others one about that. 42 00:03:03,34 --> 00:03:11,42 Apparently the guests are waiting for Betty to pick up her spoon before they began. 43 00:03:11,43 --> 00:03:14,14 Dorothy to start and they all are. 44 00:03:18,40 --> 00:03:22,01 But naturally the guests were given no indication of having noticed any error on 45 00:03:22,01 --> 00:03:28,55 Bob's part since that in itself would be impolite. As the release dish is passed. 46 00:03:28,63 --> 00:03:31,62 Bob takes a handful and puts them on a service plate 47 00:03:31,62 --> 00:03:41,03 and diet he goes to a soup in the same old way. 48 00:03:41,04 --> 00:03:45,05 And then Bob notices that the others of place their relation differently 49 00:03:46,12 --> 00:03:49,91 and changes them from one plate to the other knowing there is a reason 50 00:03:49,91 --> 00:03:51,21 but what is it 51 00:03:57,60 --> 00:03:59,93 about having made the change. Bob is glad. 52 00:04:00,00 --> 00:04:05,87 To see Betty has noticed that he corrected himself. All as well again with a party. 53 00:04:06,64 --> 00:04:09,60 No one's enjoyment is being interrupted with any problems for the moment 54 00:04:11,42 --> 00:04:14,19 that enough time is running into some problems of her own things 55 00:04:14,19 --> 00:04:15,50 that she hadn't thought of until now 56 00:04:16,20 --> 00:04:20,40 that Elbel on the table isn't one of her problems because she isn't even aware of 57 00:04:20,40 --> 00:04:20,48 it 58 00:04:20,48 --> 00:04:25,44 but she is aware of the olive is a problem is there a correct way of eating an olive. 59 00:04:25,73 --> 00:04:28,06 Should you just pop it into your mouth and eat it 60 00:04:29,10 --> 00:04:32,62 but then how do you take out the pit with your fingers. 61 00:04:32,64 --> 00:04:34,86 And when you have the bit where should you play it. 62 00:04:36,13 --> 00:04:39,59 Flight seems to have confidence in his way but also to my fingers 63 00:04:40,55 --> 00:04:42,29 that he thinks he might try a flight away. 64 00:04:43,90 --> 00:04:48,36 Then he hopes that she doesn't look as awkward as she feels. 65 00:04:48,38 --> 00:04:50,76 Now our hostess feels better about the olives. 66 00:04:50,97 --> 00:04:53,14 But right away she sees something else. 67 00:04:54,21 --> 00:04:58,01 Dorothy is breaking her celery before taking a bite. 68 00:04:58,02 --> 00:05:02,89 Has always been just celery you ate it in whatever length you found it is 69 00:05:02,89 --> 00:05:06,67 that easier to handle in shorter lengths and as it looks like a smaller bike 70 00:05:06,67 --> 00:05:07,60 when you dip it in the salt 71 00:05:07,60 --> 00:05:14,06 and then buy off a portion of burning in hell 72 00:05:14,06 --> 00:05:16,48 and don't seem to be concerned with any problems. 73 00:05:16,53 --> 00:05:19,20 Bernie eats around him simply enjoys it 74 00:05:19,20 --> 00:05:23,84 and he seems certain of him selfe Helen is even tipping her soup late for a last 75 00:05:23,84 --> 00:05:25,55 stop cannot be correct. 76 00:05:25,59 --> 00:05:30,49 Certainly her manners aren't interfering with their enjoyment of the party. 77 00:05:30,50 --> 00:05:34,82 As host Bob is expected to serve the meat course at all. 78 00:05:34,83 --> 00:05:38,26 His father does the serving it looks perfectly simple and it is. 79 00:05:39,31 --> 00:05:44,49 But if you were in Bob's place would you know positively want to do which serving 80 00:05:44,49 --> 00:05:46,53 implements should he use. 81 00:05:47,64 --> 00:05:51,55 Should he just go ahead as best he can. 82 00:05:51,57 --> 00:05:55,87 Dorothy is looking away so as not to notice. 83 00:05:55,89 --> 00:05:59,77 Bob still isn't sure what to do but he can't hesitate for a. 84 00:06:00,18 --> 00:06:05,35 That amount seems too much a lady is not flattered by being offered a portion the 85 00:06:05,35 --> 00:06:05,71 size 86 00:06:05,71 --> 00:06:14,83 that might appeal to a hungry lumberjack. 87 00:06:14,85 --> 00:06:16,24 That he is worried for Bob. 88 00:06:16,81 --> 00:06:23,18 But after all he is trying. 89 00:06:23,20 --> 00:06:26,94 Everyone learns by experience even when mistakes are made. 90 00:06:27,34 --> 00:06:32,49 And one isn't at all sure a penny thing that he is doing. 91 00:06:32,50 --> 00:06:35,54 Bob wonders at the portions he is serving are now too small. 92 00:06:36,45 --> 00:06:39,61 Should he give a large portion to the man and small ones to the to the ladies 93 00:06:39,61 --> 00:06:41,83 or should he serve about this amount 94 00:06:41,83 --> 00:06:47,67 and let the guests return their plates if they wish a second helping. 95 00:06:47,68 --> 00:06:52,62 Now Betty is about to serve the salad some new questions are right. 96 00:06:52,64 --> 00:06:55,20 Then she use the implements for serving the salad correctly 97 00:06:56,40 --> 00:07:01,18 and want to cipher the portions of salad the. Is he offering too little. 98 00:07:02,17 --> 00:07:04,42 If you're getting a proper assortment. 99 00:07:05,43 --> 00:07:09,05 As Betty passes the plate to cheese say for whom the plate is intended. 100 00:07:10,07 --> 00:07:12,86 Bernie and Helen act as though everything were going smoothly with them. 101 00:07:13,90 --> 00:07:20,51 And so really it is in spite of Betty's worries there are no mishaps Floyd 102 00:07:20,52 --> 00:07:22,96 and Dorothy are enjoying themselves. 103 00:07:23,76 --> 00:07:27,88 Bob you know this is not starting first this time he waits with the others for 104 00:07:27,88 --> 00:07:33,12 Betty to start here is the kind of fun that they all thought of 105 00:07:33,12 --> 00:07:35,98 when the party was planned out having a good meal together 106 00:07:35,98 --> 00:07:39,25 and plainly enjoying one another's company the areas 107 00:07:39,25 --> 00:07:41,36 that have been made haven't taken the fun out of the party 108 00:07:41,36 --> 00:07:44,17 and we must remember to give them credit for all the things 109 00:07:44,17 --> 00:07:48,46 that have been done correctly for every mistake made a dozen things have been done 110 00:07:48,46 --> 00:07:54,22 correctly. Bob is feeling more confident of himself he seems to remember 111 00:07:54,22 --> 00:07:56,52 that it is correct to use his knife for cutting lettuce 112 00:07:56,52 --> 00:08:01,03 or tomato if they are served in pieces that are too big for a prop. By. 113 00:08:01,05 --> 00:08:07,35 What do you think is the wrong. Are the right. Way. 114 00:08:07,73 --> 00:08:11,39 But the person with confidence isn't necessarily the person who is correct. 115 00:08:12,50 --> 00:08:14,54 Up until this minute. Betty has been confident 116 00:08:14,54 --> 00:08:17,08 that a person should butter his vegetables with his knife 117 00:08:17,08 --> 00:08:22,18 and either Betty sees Floyd butter in his with his fork. She is uncertain. 118 00:08:22,90 --> 00:08:24,82 She wishes she did not. Definitely. 119 00:08:26,64 --> 00:08:33,24 It seems safer to follow Floyd to example if he is correct then she will be to. 120 00:08:33,95 --> 00:08:38,89 Bob a swing from one extreme to another one minute he is uneasy the next over 121 00:08:38,89 --> 00:08:40,13 confident. 122 00:08:40,15 --> 00:08:42,46 Now he is forgetting even his company manners 123 00:08:42,46 --> 00:08:47,69 and is acting as they usually does in telling one of his favorite starts. 124 00:08:47,71 --> 00:08:50,75 Dorothy and Floyd giving their attention when he's looking at them 125 00:08:50,75 --> 00:08:54,78 but at the same time they manage to continue eating while their food is warm. 126 00:08:57,96 --> 00:09:00,43 Bob isn't letting the story interfere with his eating either. 127 00:09:00,92 --> 00:09:03,83 So let's try counting the number of obvious blunders. 128 00:09:04,94 --> 00:09:09,15 The waving of his knife and fork about. Talking with food in his mouth. 129 00:09:09,65 --> 00:09:13,91 Monopolizing the conversation. But it is an exciting story. 130 00:09:14,33 --> 00:09:19,39 It's about a trip up in the mountains and then all. 131 00:09:19,41 --> 00:09:22,49 This isn't the kind of an ending to the story that Bob had in mind 132 00:09:23,34 --> 00:09:24,09 but it is quicker 133 00:09:24,09 --> 00:09:29,11 and maybe better at least to stop Bob from making any more mistakes. 134 00:09:29,13 --> 00:09:32,84 But he too has discovered that she had forgotten a couple of items of behavior. 135 00:09:33,24 --> 00:09:34,94 She is thinking that perhaps she 136 00:09:34,94 --> 00:09:38,46 and Bob both need to be embarrassed a bit to make the men met 137 00:09:38,46 --> 00:09:44,09 that their manners aren't as good as they should be Bob may be thinking the same 138 00:09:44,09 --> 00:09:44,64 thing. 139 00:09:44,79 --> 00:09:50,82 Because he certainly looks as if he has decided to make a lot of changes the others 140 00:09:50,82 --> 00:09:51,96 of course say nothing. 141 00:09:53,83 --> 00:09:57,64 But he decides that the first thing for her to do is to regain her poets. 142 00:09:58,06 --> 00:10:00,39 Just act as though no errors had. Been made. 143 00:10:01,26 --> 00:10:04,27 But she will be more observing of her own manners and those of others too. 144 00:10:05,40 --> 00:10:07,65 Many feel safe in her way of eating a roll 145 00:10:07,65 --> 00:10:12,46 and jelly. 146 00:10:12,48 --> 00:10:15,01 Is there anything in what Bernie and Helen are doing 147 00:10:15,01 --> 00:10:18,52 that would get your attention right away. 148 00:10:18,54 --> 00:10:22,83 Was there anything in the way he helped himself to more jelly. 149 00:10:22,84 --> 00:10:26,86 How about the way he holds his knife and fork. 150 00:10:27,73 --> 00:10:29,99 Or the way he cuts his meat. 151 00:10:32,22 --> 00:10:36,56 And takes it to his mouth with his left hand. When you are eating meat. 152 00:10:36,70 --> 00:10:40,17 Do you take them into your mouth with a fork in your right hand or your left. 153 00:10:40,96 --> 00:10:45,02 Is there a question of correctness here. Helen is also using her left hand. 154 00:10:46,43 --> 00:10:49,14 Betty holes with a fork in her left hand column cutting the meat. 155 00:10:49,63 --> 00:10:52,43 And then passes a fork to a right hand for placing it in her mouth. 156 00:10:52,73 --> 00:10:55,53 This is exactly. 157 00:10:55,55 --> 00:10:56,77 She has noticed that the British 158 00:10:56,77 --> 00:11:00,25 and Continental people usually use their left hand but now 159 00:11:00,25 --> 00:11:02,54 that she is beginning to take her manner seriously. 160 00:11:02,91 --> 00:11:05,48 She wonders if there is a matter of correctness involved 161 00:11:05,48 --> 00:11:09,24 or whether both ways are equally correct one way American. 162 00:11:09,69 --> 00:11:14,48 The other european that he wishes he were a certain of that point 163 00:11:14,48 --> 00:11:16,81 and she is of how her knife should be placed. 164 00:11:17,94 --> 00:11:21,17 Bob has never heard of zigzag or continental ways of eating meat. 165 00:11:21,54 --> 00:11:23,70 But he is on a watch out for such things now 166 00:11:24,61 --> 00:11:26,49 and as soon as he know this is what Betty is doing. 167 00:11:26,60 --> 00:11:29,36 He is ready to fall over example whether he is right 168 00:11:29,36 --> 00:11:34,28 or on he uses his left hand all right. Even if he does take an oversized bite. 169 00:11:34,54 --> 00:11:41,51 Bob congratulate himself on trying a new way to embody have a lot to learn. 170 00:11:41,53 --> 00:11:45,19 At least there are no further mishaps as a meat course is finished on the table 171 00:11:45,19 --> 00:11:52,17 cleared for dessert. Bob is happy now. And is proud of himself. 172 00:11:52,18 --> 00:11:54,93 Formal parties like this are really enjoyable 173 00:11:54,93 --> 00:11:59,91 when one isn't afraid of doing the wrong thing. Bob has reached the point where he. 174 00:12:00,00 --> 00:12:03,25 Falesá senses intentions are good and he is watching him self 175 00:12:03,25 --> 00:12:07,03 that all is well. 176 00:12:07,05 --> 00:12:11,26 If you just try to figure out what is the reason for each rule of etiquette you 177 00:12:11,26 --> 00:12:13,47 find that the rules are sensible. 178 00:12:13,49 --> 00:12:18,00 After all correct manners are simply the way one person shows as consideration for 179 00:12:18,00 --> 00:12:22,52 another in other words proper manners are your way of showing common politeness. 180 00:12:24,39 --> 00:12:27,75 As far as Bob is concerned this is the best birthday it ever had. 181 00:12:28,53 --> 00:12:31,81 And to top it off a big birthday cake that Betty had made for him. 182 00:12:32,77 --> 00:12:35,81 He really appreciates this. 183 00:12:35,83 --> 00:12:39,53 For the cake is a symbol like the whole dinner of friendship. 184 00:12:39,98 --> 00:12:42,50 Either a delicious symbol of the regard that Betty 185 00:12:42,50 --> 00:12:47,79 and her friends hold for Bob particularly Betty. 186 00:12:48,69 --> 00:12:51,59 The lighting of the birthday cake with candles is an old custom 187 00:12:51,59 --> 00:12:53,66 and so the blowing out of the candles. 188 00:12:53,73 --> 00:12:57,93 But do you suppose the placing of the candles at the side is a modern touch of 189 00:12:57,93 --> 00:13:04,17 avoiding possible germs being blown on the cake. Serving the meat course upset the. 190 00:13:04,18 --> 00:13:07,54 Apparently serving the cake has its difficulties to. 191 00:13:09,06 --> 00:13:11,26 Our hostess is I'm certain that she should be helping 192 00:13:11,26 --> 00:13:16,30 but she worried about leaving the table to bring in the cake in the first place. 193 00:13:17,60 --> 00:13:21,93 That he wondered if the. Serving should be left to the housekeeper. 194 00:13:22,64 --> 00:13:27,49 What would you say. There is no denying that Bob needs help. 195 00:13:27,60 --> 00:13:32,14 He is having trouble with the serving implements again you think you might be able 196 00:13:32,14 --> 00:13:37,12 to figure out from the shape and the size of the plates which to use. 197 00:13:38,14 --> 00:13:41,15 Cutting and serving your own birthday cake would seem to be a pleasure. 198 00:13:41,18 --> 00:13:46,53 But could you actually do this any more gracefully than Bob is. 199 00:13:46,54 --> 00:13:50,71 That he'd help may not be as great as she thinks. 200 00:13:50,72 --> 00:13:52,53 Whatever reaching in front of Bob 201 00:13:52,53 --> 00:13:58,35 and upon her placing the dessert forks one of these correct. 202 00:14:00,00 --> 00:14:04,42 Bob accompanies Betty to her place assisting her with a chair before resuming his 203 00:14:04,42 --> 00:14:04,88 service. 204 00:14:06,43 --> 00:14:13,39 Is at least trying to change is habits. 205 00:14:17,19 --> 00:14:20,31 And you notice. He forgot his napkin and sat on it. 206 00:14:23,70 --> 00:14:24,98 He is serving smoothly now. 207 00:14:25,39 --> 00:14:27,78 And is not distracting his friends with his difficulties. 208 00:14:28,21 --> 00:14:32,89 They are free again to chat as they wish and once again the party is fun. 209 00:14:33,05 --> 00:14:35,36 Bob and Betty met more problems 210 00:14:35,36 --> 00:14:38,99 and I expected as we are seeing people like Betty 211 00:14:38,99 --> 00:14:42,04 and Bob who want to entertain their friends have good times together. 212 00:14:42,72 --> 00:14:46,16 Forget that poor manners can really interfere with the fun of the party. 213 00:14:47,11 --> 00:14:51,39 There is no fun in being worried. I'm sure. Or L.S.D. 214 00:14:52,91 --> 00:14:55,23 It is much simpler in the long run to face your problems. 215 00:14:55,28 --> 00:14:58,59 Find out what the correct answer is and then when you act in a way 216 00:14:58,59 --> 00:15:04,67 that you know for certain is correct your mind is perfectly free of course all this 217 00:15:04,67 --> 00:15:06,32 is an accomplished just by wishing. 218 00:15:06,75 --> 00:15:10,40 There are still habits that have first to be detected and then broken. 219 00:15:10,73 --> 00:15:13,96 This is hard. The new habits have to be formed. 220 00:15:14,86 --> 00:15:18,68 But a little study of any will help greatly and lessons are all practical. 221 00:15:19,72 --> 00:15:21,74 Once you a form correct habits in your manners. 222 00:15:22,09 --> 00:15:27,99 You will find that they give you a sense of confidence that is a reward in itself. 223 00:15:28,00 --> 00:15:30,99 Our party is ending. But let's hope that for you. 224 00:15:31,01 --> 00:15:33,36 It is in another sense just a beginning. 225 00:15:34,04 --> 00:15:38,80 As you think of that and Bob and their problems. Compare your own matters. 226 00:15:38,82 --> 00:15:40,65 Don't forget that it is by their manners 227 00:15:40,65 --> 00:15:44,31 that polite people the world around show their consideration for one another 228 00:15:45,44 --> 00:15:48,67 identity party is just one way of enjoying company of your friends. 229 00:15:48,98 --> 00:15:55,37 I good meal and good company real enjoyment. That's what a dinner party is Bush.