WEBVTT Kind: captions; Language: en

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[...]

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[...]

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one is more at ease now that the party
has really started the main thing is that

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they should enjoy each other's company
Betty and Bob aren't worrying about their

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mistakes for a moment but in the back of
their minds they realize they will have

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to pay more attention to their manners
they know that the object of correct

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etiquette is not to make life formal
and dull but to make it fully enjoyable

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there are reasons for each act of etiquette
as in a man's assisting a lady with

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her chair or the order with which people are.

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Bob is hungry and the soup
looks good he is using his

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company manners but as we see he is doing
at least three things wrong now that

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the soup is served Betty sees that the
crackers are past Floyd passes the

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crackers to Dorothea before he
helps himself should he have

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helped himself first or not.

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Bob is eating before the others what about
that apparently the guests are waiting

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for Betty to pick up her
spoon before they begin.

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Dorothea starts and they all.

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But naturally the guests give no indication
of having noticed any error on Bob's

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part since that in itself would be
implied as the relish dish is passed Bob

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takes a handful and puts them on his
service plate and back he goes to his

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soup in the same old way.

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Then Bob notices that the others have
placed their relish differently and changes

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them from one plate to the other knowing
there is a reason but what is it.

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But having made the change Bob is glad to
see Betty has noticed that he corrected

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himself all is well again with a party
no one's enjoyment is being interrupted

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with any problems for the moment.

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Betty now is running into some problems
of her own things that she hadn't thought

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of until now that elbow on the table isn't
one of her problems because she isn't

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even aware of it but she is aware of the
olive as a problem is there a correct

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way of eating an olive shouldn't you
just pop it into your mouth and eat it.

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But then how do you take out the pit with
your fingers and when you have the pit

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where should you place it.

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Floyd seems to have confidence in his way
but also to my fingers that he thinks

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she might try Floyd's way that
he hopes that she doesn't

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look as awkward as she feels.

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Now our hostess feels better about the
olives but right away she sees something

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else Dorothy is breaking her
salary before taking a bite.

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It has always been just salary you waited
in whatever lengths you found it is it

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easier to handle in shorter length and
does it look like a smaller bite when you

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dip it in the salt and then bite off a portion.

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Bernie and Helen don't seem to be
concerned with any problems Bernie eats a

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radish and simply enjoys it and he seems
certain of himself Helen is even tipping

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her suit plate for a last
sup cannot be correct.

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Certainly her manners aren't interfering
with her enjoyment of the party as host

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Bob is expected to serve the meat course
at home his father does the serving it

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looked perfectly simple and it is but if
you were in Bob's place would you know

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positively what to do which
serving implement should he use.

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Should he just go ahead as best he can.

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Dorothy is looking away so as not to notice.

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Bob still isn't sure of what to do but
he can't hesitate forever that amount

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seems too much a lady is not flattered
by being offered a portion the size that

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might appeal to a hungry lumberjack.

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Betty is worried for Bob but

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after all he is trying.

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Everyone learns by experience even when
mistakes are made and one isn't at all

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sure of anything that he is doing.

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Bob wonders if the portions he is serving
are now too small should he give a

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large portion to the men and small ones
to the ladies or should he serve about

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this amount and let the guests return their
plates if they wish a second helping.

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Now Betty is about to serve the salad
some new questions are rising can she use

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the implements for serving the
salad correctly and what size

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should the portions of salad be.

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Is she offering too little is
she getting a proper assortment.

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As Betty passes the plate should she say
for whom the plate is intended Bernie

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and Helen act as though everything were
going smoothly with them and so really it

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is in spite of Betty's
worries there are no mishaps.

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Floyd and Dorothy are enjoying themselves
Bob you notice is not starting first

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this time he waits with the
others for Betty to start.

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Here is the kind of fun that they all
thought of when the party was planned of

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having a good meal together and plainly
enjoying one another's company the errors

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that have been made haven't taken the fun
out of the party and we must remember

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to give them credit for all the things
that have been done correctly for every

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mistake made a dozen things
have been done correctly.

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Bob is feeling more confident of himself
he seems to remember that it is correct

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to use his knife for cutting lettuce or
tomato if they are served in pieces that

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are too big for a proper bite what do
you think is he wrong or is he right.

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But the person with confidence isn't
necessarily the person who is correct up

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until this minute Betty has been
confident that a person should

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butter his vegetables with his knife.

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But now that Betty sees Floyd buttering
his with his fork she isn't certain she

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wishes she didn't know definitely.

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It seems safer to follow Floyd's example
if he is correct then she will be too.

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Bob is swinging from one extreme to
another one minute he is uneasy the next

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overconfident now he is forgetting even
his company manners and is acting as he

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usually does in telling one
of his favorite stories.

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Dorothy and Floyd giving their attention
when he is looking at them but at the

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same time they manage to continue
eating while their food is warm.

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Bob isn't letting the story interfere
with his eating either so let's try

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counting the number of obvious blunders
the waving of his knife and fork about

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talking with food in his mouth
monopolizing the conversation.

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But it is an exciting story it's about a
trip up in the mountains and then all.

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This isn't the kind of an ending to the
story that Bob had in mind but it is

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quicker and maybe better at least it
stopped Bob from making any more mistakes

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Betty too has discovered that she had
forgotten a couple of items of behavior she

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is thinking that perhaps she and Bob both
need to be embarrassed a bit to make

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them admit that their manners
aren't as good as they should be.

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Bob may be thinking the same thing
because he certainly looks as if he has

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decided to make a lot of changes
the others of course say nothing.

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Betty decides that the first thing for
her to do is to regain her poise just act

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as though no errors had been made but
she will be more observing of her own

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manners and those of others too
Betty feels safe in her way of

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eating a roll and jelly.

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Is there anything in what
Bernie and Helen are doing

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that would get your attention right away.

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Was there anything in the way he
helped himself to more jelly.

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How about the way he holds his knife and fork.

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Or the way he cuts his meat.

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And takes it to his mouth with his left
hand when you are eating meat you take

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the meat to your mouth with a fork
in your right hand or your left.

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Is there a question of correctness here.

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Helen is also using her left hand.

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Betty holds the fork in her left hand
while cutting the meat and then passes the

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fork to her right hand for
placing it in her mouth.

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This is zigzag eating.

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She has noticed that the British and
continental people usually use their left

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hands but now that she is beginning to
take her manner seriously she wonders if

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there is a matter of
correctness involved or whether

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both ways are equally correct.

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One way American the other European
Betty wishes she were as certain of that

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point as she is of how her
knife should be placed.

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Bob has never heard of zigzag or continental
ways of eating meat but he is on the

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watch out for such things now and as soon
as he notices what Betty is doing he is

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ready to follow her example
whether she is right or wrong.

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He uses his left hand all right even
if he does take an oversized bite.

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Bob congratulates himself on trying a new way.
He and Betty have a lot to learn.

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At least there are no further
mishaps as the meat course is

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finished and the table cleared for dessert.

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Bob is happy now and is proud of himself.

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Formal parties like this are
really enjoyable when one isn't

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afraid of doing the wrong thing.

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Bob has reached the point where he feels
that senses intentions are good and he

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is watching himself that all is well.

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If you just try to figure out what is the
reason for each rule of etiquette you

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find that the rules are sensible.

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After all correct manners are
simply the way one person

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shows us consideration for another.

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In other words proper manners are your
way of showing common politeness.

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As far as Bob is concerned this is the
best birthday he has ever had and to top

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it off a big birthday cake
that Betty had made for him.

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He really appreciates this.

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For the cake is a symbol like
the whole dinner of friendship.

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A very delicious symbol of the regard
that Betty and her friends hold for Bob

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particularly Betty.

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The lighting of the birthday cake
with candles is an old custom

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and so is the blowing out of the candles.

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But do you suppose the placing of the
candles at the side is a modern touch of

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avoiding possible germs
being blown on the cake.

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Serving the meat course upset Bob.
Apparently serving the

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cake has its difficulties too.

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Our hostess isn't certain that
she should be helping Bob.

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She worried about leaving the table to
bring in the cake in the first place.

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Betty wondered if the serving
should be left to the housekeeper.

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What would you say?

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There is no denying that Bob needs help.
He is having

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trouble with the serving implements again.

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Do you think he might be able to
figure out from the shape and the

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size of the blades which to use?

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Cutting and serving your own birthday
cake would seem to be a pleasure.

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But could you actually do this
any more gracefully than Bob is?

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Betty's help may not be as great as she thinks.

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What of her reaching in front of
Bob and about her placing the

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dessert forks? Are these correct?

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Bob accompanies Betty to her
place assisting her with her

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chair before resuming his serving.

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He is at least trying to change his habits.

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And do you notice?
He forgot his napkin and sat on it.

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He is serving smoothly now and is not

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distracting his friends with his difficulties.

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They are free again to chat as they wish.

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And once again the party is fun.
Bob and Betty met

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more problems than they expected.

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As we are seeing, people like Betty and Bob,
who want to entertain their friends

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and have good times together,
forget that poor manners can really

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interfere with the fun of the party.

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There is no fun in being worried,
unsure, or ill at ease.

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It is much simpler in the long
run to face your problems.

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Find out what the correct answer is and
then when you act in a way that you know

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for certain is correct,
your mind is perfectly free.

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Of course all this isn't
accomplished just by wishing.

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There are still habits that have
first to be detected and then broken.

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This is hard.
Then new habits have to be formed.

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But a little study of it will help greatly.
And lessons are all practical.

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Once you have formed correct habits
in your manners, you will find

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that they give you a sense of confidence.

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That is a reward in itself.

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Our party is ending.
But let's hope that for you it is, in another

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sense, just a beginning.

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As you think of Betty and Bob and their
problems, compare your own manners.

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Don't forget that it is by their manners
that polite people the world around show

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their consideration for one another.

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A dinner party is just one way of
enjoying company of your friends.

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A good meal, good company, real enjoyment.
That's what a dinner party is for.

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For

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more information visit www.fema.gov