WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:02.000 Everybody else has been here but you. 00:02.000 --> 00:05.000 And he said I, I was only a piece of shit. 00:05.000 --> 00:07.000 I was only a piece of shit. 00:07.000 --> 00:09.000 I was only a piece of shit. 00:09.000 --> 00:12.000 By Thelus for well-groomed hair and true shade, 00:12.000 --> 00:14.000 hand lotion with a beforehand extra, 00:14.000 --> 00:19.000 bring you Duffy's Tavern starring Archie himself and Cartler. 00:19.000 --> 00:26.000 Applause 00:26.000 --> 00:30.000 Here's a new and different way to care for your hands. 00:30.000 --> 00:32.000 It's with true shade, the beforehand lotion, 00:32.000 --> 00:34.000 a really different idea in hand lotions. 00:34.000 --> 00:38.000 Use true shade before you get to work, before you do dishes, 00:38.000 --> 00:41.000 before you put your hands in dish water or do light laundry. 00:41.000 --> 00:46.000 True shade is so effective that it will guard your hands even in that hot soapy water. 00:46.000 --> 00:50.000 But you can also use true shade as you use ordinary hand lotions. 00:50.000 --> 00:53.000 Anytime your hands need a creamy softening lotion. 00:53.000 --> 00:59.000 So get true shade and get an all-around hand lotion that also gives you beforehand protection. 00:59.000 --> 01:04.000 Get true shade, the beforehand lotion, and get softer, lovelier hands. 01:04.000 --> 01:10.000 Music 01:10.000 --> 01:12.000 Hello Duffy's Tavern, what are you late? 01:12.000 --> 01:15.000 Meet Archie de Manja speaking. Duffy ain't here. 01:15.000 --> 01:19.000 Oh hello Duffy. Well it looks like spring is here. 01:19.000 --> 01:26.000 Yes, spring and the whole world's kind of lousy with Mother Nature's wonders. 01:26.000 --> 01:29.000 Well, I might start this thing over again. 01:29.000 --> 01:33.000 Duffy's Tavern, what are you late? 01:33.000 --> 01:36.000 Spring and the whole world lousy with Mother Nature's wonders. 01:36.000 --> 01:40.000 I'm out of practice. I wasn't here last week. 01:40.000 --> 01:43.000 What? You ain't noticed nothing different Duffy? 01:43.000 --> 01:48.000 Well just gaze your eyes out the window and what do you see? 01:48.000 --> 01:51.000 Mrs. Murphy's long underwear? 01:51.000 --> 01:55.000 Well that proves it's spring. She ain't wearing them. 01:55.000 --> 02:00.000 Oh she is, huh? She's sitting out on the fire escape? 02:00.000 --> 02:05.000 Oh. Well she don't do that in the winter so it proves it's spring. 02:05.000 --> 02:11.000 Yeah, the time of the year when the birds and the bees watch people and take notes. 02:11.000 --> 02:17.000 Yeah. In other words, you know how all year long a guy sits around thinking about dames? 02:17.000 --> 02:21.000 Well spring is when he does something about it. 02:21.000 --> 02:26.000 Yeah. Well Duffy, why don't you be more romantic. Don't spring mean nothing to you? 02:26.000 --> 02:30.000 It means Eddie and me should get busy with the spring cleaning? 02:30.000 --> 02:35.000 Duffy, it's employers like you that give work a bad name. 02:35.000 --> 02:45.000 Besides, the joints don't look so bad. It's clean enough to fool the health inspector and yet dirty enough to keep them in trees. 02:45.000 --> 02:51.000 Okay Duffy, Eddie. Eddie, when was the last time this place was cleaned up? 02:51.000 --> 02:55.000 I don't know. I'm Eddie Green, not an elephant. 02:55.000 --> 03:02.000 Eddie, stop goldbricking. We gotta clean up the place. Now get up there on the ladder and sweep that big spiderweb off the ceiling. 03:02.000 --> 03:04.000 Got news for you. 03:04.000 --> 03:05.000 What? 03:05.000 --> 03:09.000 That spiderweb is the ceiling. 03:09.000 --> 03:15.000 Well cut the jokes and get up on the ladder and while you're up there scrape the dirt off the walls. 03:15.000 --> 03:16.000 All the dirt? 03:16.000 --> 03:17.000 Yeah. 03:17.000 --> 03:20.000 Well you wanna do start a landslide? 03:20.000 --> 03:23.000 Eddie, will you get to work and deceased the comedy? 03:23.000 --> 03:24.000 Hello boys. 03:24.000 --> 03:25.000 Oh hello Miss Duffy. 03:25.000 --> 03:29.000 Well it looks like spring has really come to Third Avenue. 03:29.000 --> 03:30.000 Yeah, you noticed it too, huh? 03:30.000 --> 03:35.000 Yeah. On my way down here a robin whistled at me. 03:35.000 --> 03:43.000 Well for you that's about far. But it looks like you're the only member of the family that seems to relish spring. 03:43.000 --> 03:48.000 Oh no. Mama thinks it's very romantic too. Guess what? 03:48.000 --> 03:49.000 What? 03:49.000 --> 03:55.000 Last night when she went to bed she put a mud pack on her face. You should have heard Papa complain. 03:55.000 --> 03:56.000 Why? 03:56.000 --> 04:01.000 He says it was like sleeper next to a swamp. Incidentally Archie. 04:01.000 --> 04:02.000 Yeah? 04:02.000 --> 04:07.000 Papa says as soon as you finish with the spring cleaning either you or Eddie can have the night off. 04:07.000 --> 04:11.000 A night off? No kidding. Quick let me get me address book here. 04:11.000 --> 04:16.000 Just a minute. Mr. Duffy said either you or me could have the night off. 04:16.000 --> 04:19.000 Well if that's your attitude I'll toss you for it. 04:19.000 --> 04:21.000 Okay. Where do I get out off the ladder here? 04:21.000 --> 04:27.000 Don't bother. I'll just toss the coin and I'll let you know how it comes out. 04:27.000 --> 04:30.000 I stay up here and you're gonna let me know how it comes out? 04:30.000 --> 04:34.000 Well here we are. Call it Eddie. 04:34.000 --> 04:41.000 Okay. Heads. And have a nice time. 04:41.000 --> 04:48.000 What do you know? Tails. I win. Lucky huh Eddie? 04:48.000 --> 04:50.000 Eddie I did not cheat. 04:50.000 --> 04:51.000 What is that? Nothing. 04:51.000 --> 04:56.000 I know but in the future I'll thank you to watch the tone of your silence. 04:56.000 --> 05:00.000 Well I think I'll go and paint the town. I'll see you tomorrow. 05:00.000 --> 05:03.000 Yeah before you go paint the town ain't you forgetting two things? 05:03.000 --> 05:04.000 What? 05:04.000 --> 05:07.000 A. Money and B. A girl. 05:07.000 --> 05:16.000 Eddie if one has A one can get B. And I happen to have me full week's paycheck. 15 bucks worth of A. 05:16.000 --> 05:18.000 What about it? 05:18.000 --> 05:26.000 Well a little address book is just busting at the seams here. I don't like to brag but you know the New York telephone directory? 05:26.000 --> 05:27.000 Yeah? 05:27.000 --> 05:31.000 They get their numbers from me. 05:31.000 --> 05:43.000 Let's see this book here. Rosie, Mabel, Yvonne, Emma, Emma, Emma Schulz. I ain't seen her in years. 05:43.000 --> 05:44.000 You mean the butcher's daughter? 05:44.000 --> 05:50.000 Yeah, yeah. Well honey we used to neck in her old man's refrigerator. 05:50.000 --> 06:01.000 No Schulz never did find out why his ice bill was so high. I think I'll call her up. 06:01.000 --> 06:07.000 Hello? Is Emma there? This is her husband? 06:07.000 --> 06:14.000 Well sir when you hear the tone the time will be 9.27 and a half. 06:14.000 --> 06:19.000 Sound like I've refrigerated it was a little crowded. 06:19.000 --> 06:26.000 Yeah let me see now let me try this one. 06:26.000 --> 06:40.000 Hello? Is Hazel there? She's taking a bath? Sorry I must have the wrong number. 06:40.000 --> 06:49.000 Let's see. Oh here's one. Yeah. Amber Griss McNulty. Yeah me old sweetheart from PS4. 06:49.000 --> 06:54.000 No dice. Now I just saw her the other day. She's married and got 14 kids. 06:54.000 --> 06:59.000 Really? And to think she always wants multiplication. 06:59.000 --> 07:07.000 Well let's see who else could I call? Hmm. 07:07.000 --> 07:16.000 Hello operator? Give me information. Hello information? Look honey what are you doing tonight? 07:16.000 --> 07:24.000 Hello? Hmm. And that kind of a dame calls herself a public utility. 07:24.000 --> 07:28.000 No more phone numbers? Well nothing up to my usual standards. 07:28.000 --> 07:36.000 What a break. A spring night no dame. Spring with the crocuses croaking and the trees blossoming. 07:36.000 --> 07:39.000 And the little things popping up out of the ground. 07:39.000 --> 07:49.000 Oh. Well honey. Did I hear you say something about spring? Yeah good old spring. Ain't it wonderful? 07:49.000 --> 07:57.000 Yep no bed should be without one. What I mean is spring in the air. 07:57.000 --> 08:02.000 Well if you say so watch but I ain't much of a pole Walter. 08:02.000 --> 08:08.000 Maybe we better switch the subject. Where you been all day? Up in Central Park seeing the sights. 08:08.000 --> 08:18.000 And vice versa? Yeah. Boy what fun I had feeding the squirrels. Nuts? Some of them. 08:18.000 --> 08:27.000 Yeah but most of them squirrels are just as normal as you and me. In fact a lot of them are much normaler than people. 08:27.000 --> 08:33.000 Where's that remark? Well sometimes people are stupid. 08:33.000 --> 08:38.000 Up in the park I was watching a sailor out on the lake in a rowboat with his girl. 08:38.000 --> 08:44.000 All he did for two hours was hug and kiss her. Well what's stupid about that? 08:44.000 --> 08:50.000 Well you'd think after months on the ocean the guy'd be sick and tired of water. 08:50.000 --> 08:57.000 Maybe the guy was in love. Love? Yeah. Well what's stupid too? What do you mean? 08:57.000 --> 09:03.000 Well what happens? The guy falls in love with a dame and they get married. 09:03.000 --> 09:07.000 Before you know it they got eight or ten kids and the kids get married. 09:07.000 --> 09:11.000 But he's doing the guys in old man with a bunch of grandchildren. So? 09:11.000 --> 09:17.000 And one day his wife leaves him and he's got to start all over again. 09:17.000 --> 09:22.000 Well I'll see you later. I gotta get down to the police. The police for what? 09:22.000 --> 09:27.000 Well when I was up in the park I found this lady's purse and I'm going down to retain it. 09:27.000 --> 09:30.000 Lady's purse? Let me see it. Yeah. 09:30.000 --> 09:36.000 Hey look at that. Genuine stimulated leather. 09:36.000 --> 09:38.000 Hey and look at here. What? 09:38.000 --> 09:43.000 This picture. It must be the dame that lost it. Look at that bathing suit. 09:43.000 --> 09:49.000 What a tomato. Finnegan forget the police station. What? 09:49.000 --> 09:55.000 Well here's her name and phone number. Mytle Dodger. I'll call her up and talk to her. 09:55.000 --> 09:59.000 You know just to let her know we found the purse that is. 09:59.000 --> 10:06.000 Oh yeah? You ain't kidding me Arch. I know what you're after. 10:06.000 --> 10:12.000 What? The reward. 10:12.000 --> 10:21.000 You ain't kidding. Hello? Is this Mytle Dodger? 10:21.000 --> 10:24.000 Well my name is Archie. I think I found your purse. 10:24.000 --> 10:30.000 Now if I bring it up to you how about a date? You can't leave your girlfriend? 10:30.000 --> 10:37.000 Well what's she like? Is she as buxom as you? Even buxomer huh? 10:37.000 --> 10:40.000 Okay I'll bring a friend for your friend. 10:40.000 --> 10:43.000 Alright. Finnegan come on we got a double date. 10:43.000 --> 10:46.000 Just a minute. What do I have to do? 10:46.000 --> 10:51.000 Oh nothing. Just talk to the dame. Hold her hand. Maybe kiss her goodnight. 10:51.000 --> 10:55.000 Nothing doing. That kissing stuff ain't for me. 10:55.000 --> 10:59.000 You mean you never kissed the dame? Only me mother. 10:59.000 --> 11:05.000 Well your mother's a dame. Yeah but you'd never know it. 11:05.000 --> 11:11.000 Now look Finnegan I got a date and you know kissing a sweetheart is a lot different from kissing your mother. 11:11.000 --> 11:17.000 Oh yeah? What's the difference? About five minutes. 11:17.000 --> 11:20.000 Now come on with me and you'll see for yourself. Hi Arch. 11:20.000 --> 11:24.000 Oh hello Joe. I'm just on my way up to meet a new girlfriend. 11:24.000 --> 11:30.000 Oh what's she like? Well here look for yourself. Here's a picture in a bathing suit. 11:30.000 --> 11:37.000 Joe. Joe. Joe stop staring so long. Why? 11:37.000 --> 11:41.000 A thing like that could be habit forming. 11:41.000 --> 11:46.000 Very nice Arch. You say you've got a date with her? Yeah I'm on my way up to see her now. 11:46.000 --> 11:51.000 The way you look? Well I might change me suit. Is that all? 11:51.000 --> 11:58.000 Well I might shave. Put on me Blue Jay corn plaster. 11:58.000 --> 12:03.000 What else? Vitalis me hair. Oh Arch I'm glad you said that. 12:03.000 --> 12:10.000 Joe I thought you'd be. Sure because there's nothing like Vitalis to make your hair look its best. 12:10.000 --> 12:16.000 Make you look your best. Make you look well groomed. After all Arch you're a handsome devil. 12:16.000 --> 12:21.000 I didn't think you could. 12:21.000 --> 12:25.000 I do want to spoil all those good looks by showing up with dry unruly hair. 12:25.000 --> 12:32.000 Oh perish forbid. Vitalis will tame down dry unruly hair. Make it look well groomed but without a greasy patent leather shine. 12:32.000 --> 12:38.000 There's no mineral oil in Vitalis you know. Vitalis doesn't contain a single drop of it. 12:38.000 --> 12:43.000 Just pure vegetable oil so your hair is left natural looking, handsome in a masculine way. 12:43.000 --> 12:50.000 So Arch why don't you give yourself a Vitalis 60 second workout before your date tonight and you'll attract any girl. 12:50.000 --> 12:58.000 Okay Joe I'll use the Vitalis now is that all you have to say? Yeah except that Vitalis is a goodbye. 12:58.000 --> 13:06.000 Goodbye Joe. 13:06.000 --> 13:11.000 Hey Mrs. Arch you better hurry up you've been standing in front of that mirror for ten minutes. 13:11.000 --> 13:21.000 Hmm yeah no wonder James is nuts about me. That profile, that sensitive face. 13:21.000 --> 13:25.000 Linda Christian how could you do it? 13:25.000 --> 13:30.000 Eddie I gotta look me best tonight. Now you got a nail file? Yeah yeah. 13:30.000 --> 13:36.000 Thanks I gotta scrape this mud off me shoes. 13:36.000 --> 13:41.000 You know first impressions is important. 13:41.000 --> 13:46.000 What about that cigar butt behind your ear? Oh yeah I'm glad you reminded me. 13:46.000 --> 13:50.000 I'll put a Corona Corona band around it. 13:50.000 --> 13:56.000 I think maybe I better get myself a new suit too. Where you gonna get it? Salvation Army? 13:56.000 --> 14:06.000 Don't be cryptic. It happens I have a new tailor the Duke of Kemp tailoring emporium limited. 14:06.000 --> 14:10.000 This the place where you walk three flights down? 14:10.000 --> 14:19.000 Well you have to make some sacrifices if you want to dress well. I think I'll give him a call. 14:19.000 --> 14:27.000 Hello Duke of Kemp tailoring emporium? Oh hello Mo. 14:27.000 --> 14:33.000 This is Archie. Archie the pair that shoulders with the belt in the back. 14:33.000 --> 14:38.000 Look Mo what have you got in a well fitting misfit? 14:38.000 --> 14:42.000 A gray tweed with just a slight imperfection? 14:42.000 --> 14:49.000 What's the imperfection Mo? One of the sleeves is missing. 14:49.000 --> 14:54.000 Well frankly I was figuring on something a little more tailored. 14:54.000 --> 15:00.000 Tell me why don't you just pick one out for me. You know one of the good ones the ones you put in the window. 15:00.000 --> 15:04.000 Yeah looks good on the dummy why shouldn't it look good on you? 15:04.000 --> 15:09.000 Quiet. Okay Mo I'll pick it up in a little while. 15:09.000 --> 15:20.000 By the way that's two pair of pants ain't it? And the free catcher's mitt? 15:20.000 --> 15:26.000 Okay see you in a while Mo. Boy I'm gonna knock that Myrtle Dodd's eyes out. 15:26.000 --> 15:30.000 Yeah and he for nothing that they call you Archie the playboy. 15:30.000 --> 15:34.000 Some playboy. What did you say? 15:34.000 --> 15:39.000 Nothing. I know but how did you express it this time? 15:39.000 --> 15:42.000 What was that crack about the playboy? 15:42.000 --> 15:46.000 Well all I say is there's two kinds of men that take a girl out. 15:46.000 --> 15:51.000 Namely? Well there's the one type that takes you out and buys you lobster and champagne. 15:51.000 --> 15:59.000 And then there's your type. A quick beer and a struggle. 15:59.000 --> 16:04.000 This from a dame that sits by the telephone praying for wrong numbers. 16:04.000 --> 16:06.000 Tell you what? Yeah? 16:06.000 --> 16:14.000 About our date tonight do you suppose the girls would notice it if I didn't go along? 16:14.000 --> 16:17.000 Now look Finnegan you can't back out now the dates all set. 16:17.000 --> 16:19.000 Well where are we gonna take them Arch? 16:19.000 --> 16:27.000 Well I wonder how much the store club would cost. Let me call them up. 16:27.000 --> 16:33.000 Hello store club? How much do you charge for dinner for four people? 16:33.000 --> 16:40.000 Thank you. 16:40.000 --> 16:45.000 Hello Toots yours? Is Toots there? 16:45.000 --> 16:49.000 Well see how close you can get him to the phone will ya? 16:49.000 --> 16:53.000 Hello Toots this is Archie at Duffy's Tavern. 16:53.000 --> 16:59.000 Well we're taking a couple of dames out tonight and since I'm a fellow restaurant owner 16:59.000 --> 17:06.000 well I don't want to haggle but what sort of a professional rate could you give me? 17:06.000 --> 17:11.000 Uh huh. Let's haggle. 17:11.000 --> 17:15.000 You don't lower your prices for nobody? 17:15.000 --> 17:22.000 Well look I'm planning to spend about four bucks where do you think I should go? 17:22.000 --> 17:29.000 Mr. Shore there I can go for nothing. 17:29.000 --> 17:32.000 Hey look Arch you gotta let me out of this day. 17:32.000 --> 17:33.000 Why? 17:33.000 --> 17:37.000 Well you know me I don't know how to act in them high class night clubs. 17:37.000 --> 17:44.000 Well there's nothing to worry about you just walk in and you're greeted by the maid at D. 17:44.000 --> 17:45.000 Who's that? 17:45.000 --> 17:47.000 The guy that throws you out. 17:47.000 --> 17:52.000 That is ordinarily but if you got the money he leads you over to the table see 17:52.000 --> 17:56.000 then when you get to the table that's when you start cutting corn. 17:56.000 --> 17:57.000 Huh? 17:57.000 --> 18:04.000 Well you carelessly say to him, oh well Capitan I think I shall place our dinner order later. 18:04.000 --> 18:06.000 What's the idea of that? 18:06.000 --> 18:14.000 Well this is to give the dame you with a chance to fill up on bread. 18:14.000 --> 18:18.000 Then I told you you stall her a little while longer by dancing. 18:18.000 --> 18:23.000 Dancing are you mad and let her work up an appetite? 18:23.000 --> 18:26.000 Yeah but sooner or later she gonna get hold of that menu. 18:26.000 --> 18:32.000 Well not necessarily if a gentleman is well bred he always looks at the menu first see 18:32.000 --> 18:38.000 and if he sees something like a pressed duck for four dollars and fifty cents. 18:38.000 --> 18:39.000 Yeah? 18:39.000 --> 18:44.000 Then he quick breathes on the dames bifocals and fogs them up. 18:44.000 --> 18:48.000 Boy, you sure been around. 18:48.000 --> 18:51.000 I think I know a few angles. 18:51.000 --> 18:57.000 There's a lot of little tricks Finnegan you know like how to nonchalantly slip your hand 18:57.000 --> 19:03.000 under the napkin thus giving the appearance that one is actually leaving the waiter a tip. 19:03.000 --> 19:09.000 And how I'm leaving the nightclub to avoid giving the doorman a gratuity you see. 19:09.000 --> 19:15.000 You send him down to the corner for a taxi and walk off in the other direction. 19:15.000 --> 19:20.000 But enough of this instruction I gotta get down to the dook of Kent and get that suit. 19:25.000 --> 19:27.000 Well fellas look me over. 19:27.000 --> 19:29.000 How do you like me new suit? 19:29.000 --> 19:34.000 Well pull down the shades and call me Sunset. 19:34.000 --> 19:38.000 Now aside from the colors how do you like the tailoring? 19:38.000 --> 19:41.000 Let's see turn around. 19:41.000 --> 19:43.000 Okay. 19:43.000 --> 19:46.000 From the back the front looks perfect. 19:46.000 --> 19:49.000 Miss Archer them trousers. 19:49.000 --> 19:50.000 What about the trousers? 19:50.000 --> 19:53.000 Well ain't they a little tight across the chest? 19:53.000 --> 19:58.000 Eddie after all you gotta remember this suit was made for somebody else. 19:58.000 --> 20:02.000 Oh and then the circus left town huh? 20:02.000 --> 20:06.000 Maybe it ain't perfect but you gotta admit it's good value after all. 20:06.000 --> 20:09.000 Only nine bucks with two pairs of pants. 20:09.000 --> 20:15.000 Yeah with pants as tight as that you better bring the other pair along in case of a blowout. 20:15.000 --> 20:18.000 I have never seen such jealousy. 20:18.000 --> 20:23.000 Do I look? Here I am all set for the date. 20:23.000 --> 20:26.000 Hey you got a clean shirt on what happened? 20:26.000 --> 20:30.000 Well it was an accident Arch. I thought I was playing a slot machine. 20:30.000 --> 20:31.000 Yeah. 20:31.000 --> 20:34.000 It turned out to be one of them automatic laundries. 20:34.000 --> 20:38.000 Hey them things must be alright though that shirt looks very well laundered. 20:38.000 --> 20:40.000 Oh yeah. 20:40.000 --> 20:44.000 Only thing was it took me 20 minutes to crawl out of the machine. 20:44.000 --> 20:48.000 You got stuck in the machine? 20:48.000 --> 20:50.000 Yeah but I didn't mind Arch. 20:50.000 --> 20:54.000 That spinning around sure clears a guy's head. 20:54.000 --> 20:57.000 Hey look shall we get started here? 20:57.000 --> 21:02.000 Why not as the handkerchief said to the proboscis let's blow. 21:09.000 --> 21:13.000 Well this is Michael's address thing and it's a little bit of a mess. 21:13.000 --> 21:15.000 Let's see. 21:15.000 --> 21:18.000 Little Dodds apartment 27. 21:18.000 --> 21:22.000 27 that must be down here at the end of the hall. 21:22.000 --> 21:27.000 Now remember Finnegan I gave the tailor three bucks deposit and I only got twelve bucks left. 21:27.000 --> 21:32.000 So leave us not let these dames talk us into spending a fortune. 21:32.000 --> 21:35.000 Wait a minute here we are 27. 21:35.000 --> 21:40.000 Yes? 21:40.000 --> 21:44.000 Well have the... have the... 21:44.000 --> 21:46.000 Miss Dodds I would like to... 21:46.000 --> 21:50.000 Sorry the exterminator was here yesterday. 21:50.000 --> 21:53.000 Gee Arch I'm kind of disappointed. 21:53.000 --> 22:00.000 I was hoping me first date would last a little longer. 22:00.000 --> 22:04.000 Wait a minute here. 22:04.000 --> 22:05.000 Yes? 22:05.000 --> 22:09.000 I'm afraid there must be some mistake. 22:09.000 --> 22:18.000 Arch when they slam it twice is that what they mean by a double date? 22:18.000 --> 22:21.000 Knock, knock, knock. 22:21.000 --> 22:23.000 Knock, knock, knock. 22:23.000 --> 22:25.000 Mydle I got the purse. 22:25.000 --> 22:27.000 Oh come in. 22:27.000 --> 22:29.000 You are Mydle ain't you? 22:29.000 --> 22:30.000 Yes. 22:30.000 --> 22:33.000 Oh well I'm Archie and this is my friend Finnegan there. 22:33.000 --> 22:36.000 He's the one that really retrieved the lost purse. 22:36.000 --> 22:39.000 Yes he does look like a retriever. 22:39.000 --> 22:47.000 Thank you. 22:47.000 --> 22:50.000 By the way where is your roommate? 22:50.000 --> 22:53.000 Oh Gertrude oh she's in the other room I'll call her. 22:53.000 --> 22:54.000 Gertrude? 22:54.000 --> 22:55.000 Yes? 22:55.000 --> 22:56.000 The boys are here. 22:56.000 --> 22:59.000 Okay I'm coming. 22:59.000 --> 23:01.000 Hello boys. 23:01.000 --> 23:03.000 Be good Dan. 23:03.000 --> 23:11.000 She looks like something on television. 23:11.000 --> 23:15.000 I'm sorry I kept you waiting boys but I was putting on my face. 23:15.000 --> 23:19.000 Did she have to put that one on? 23:19.000 --> 23:25.000 Well Gertrude which one do you want the retriever or giraffe neck here? 23:25.000 --> 23:28.000 Oh let's draw match sticks to see who gets who. 23:28.000 --> 23:30.000 Okay here pick a match. 23:30.000 --> 23:34.000 Oh gee mine's shortest I lose. 23:34.000 --> 23:37.000 Oh Archie. 23:37.000 --> 23:39.000 Yes? 23:39.000 --> 23:41.000 Fate has thrown us together. 23:41.000 --> 23:45.000 Fate should get a kick in the teeth. 23:45.000 --> 23:47.000 Oh Mr. Finnegan. 23:47.000 --> 23:49.000 Do I? 23:49.000 --> 23:52.000 Why don't you and I sit over here. 23:52.000 --> 23:56.000 Okay. 23:56.000 --> 23:58.000 Aren't you going to hold the chair for me? 23:58.000 --> 24:10.000 Why it ain't moving. 24:10.000 --> 24:13.000 Look girls we was planning to take you to dinner but. 24:13.000 --> 24:15.000 Why go out to dinner? 24:15.000 --> 24:17.000 We can cook dinner right here. 24:17.000 --> 24:19.000 Okay. 24:19.000 --> 24:23.000 Usually I like to go out where one can dance. 24:23.000 --> 24:26.000 Oh we can dance right here too. 24:26.000 --> 24:30.000 I've been looking for this day more me life. 24:30.000 --> 24:33.000 Well honey when do we start eating? 24:33.000 --> 24:35.000 As soon as the groceries arrive. 24:35.000 --> 24:36.000 Myrtle. 24:36.000 --> 24:37.000 Yes? 24:37.000 --> 24:39.000 The groceries are here. 24:39.000 --> 24:42.000 Oh Gertrude do you have any money? 24:42.000 --> 24:44.000 Not a cent. 24:44.000 --> 24:46.000 Do you Myrtle? 24:46.000 --> 24:48.000 Not a cent. 24:48.000 --> 24:50.000 Well well. 24:50.000 --> 24:54.000 Well. 24:54.000 --> 24:57.000 This is very embarrassing. 24:57.000 --> 25:01.000 We don't seem to have six dollars. 25:01.000 --> 25:03.000 It's embarrassing for me. 25:03.000 --> 25:06.000 I do. 25:06.000 --> 25:08.000 Okay here you are here's the six bucks. 25:08.000 --> 25:09.000 Oh I'll take it. 25:09.000 --> 25:11.000 I'll be back in a second. 25:11.000 --> 25:14.000 Look Myrtle I realize you're with Finnegan. 25:14.000 --> 25:18.000 He is your boyfriend now but how about me holding your hand? 25:18.000 --> 25:20.000 No. 25:20.000 --> 25:23.000 Look honey you realize I'm a very attractive man don't you? 25:23.000 --> 25:25.000 No. 25:25.000 --> 25:27.000 What a stubborn thing. 25:27.000 --> 25:32.000 Look Myrtle why don't you break down and just let me slip me arm around your waist. 25:32.000 --> 25:36.000 Get away from me you crumb. 25:36.000 --> 25:43.000 Myrtle you seem to forget I have six bucks worth of groceries invested in you. 25:43.000 --> 25:46.000 Now look honey I'll leave this talk this over here. 25:46.000 --> 25:48.000 Oh Archie. 25:48.000 --> 25:50.000 What is it now? 25:50.000 --> 25:53.000 Ice cream. 25:53.000 --> 25:54.000 How much? 25:54.000 --> 25:56.000 Three dollars. 25:56.000 --> 26:00.000 Three bucks I suppose you girls are still broke. 26:00.000 --> 26:02.000 I'm afraid so. 26:02.000 --> 26:06.000 Okay here you are Gertrude paid a man three bucks. 26:06.000 --> 26:10.000 Now where was we Myrtle? 26:10.000 --> 26:14.000 Myrtle you're crying what's the matter with you? 26:14.000 --> 26:19.000 It isn't me it's mother. 26:19.000 --> 26:22.000 How much? 26:22.000 --> 26:24.000 What's the matter with her? 26:24.000 --> 26:27.000 She's starving she needs twenty dollars. 26:27.000 --> 26:29.000 Twenty bucks for food? 26:29.000 --> 26:33.000 No for a new upper plate she can't chew. 26:33.000 --> 26:35.000 But I only got three bucks left. 26:35.000 --> 26:38.000 Okay you can owe me the other seventeen. 26:38.000 --> 26:41.000 What have we got into here? 26:41.000 --> 26:42.000 Who's that? 26:42.000 --> 26:44.000 Oh just a second I'll find out. 26:44.000 --> 26:46.000 Yes? 26:46.000 --> 26:48.000 Is this Myrtle's daughter? 26:48.000 --> 26:49.000 Yes. 26:49.000 --> 26:54.000 Well you don't know me but I happen to find your purse. 26:54.000 --> 26:59.000 Oh no. 26:59.000 --> 27:04.000 Come on Finnegan brother are we lucky to get out of that joint them dames clipped me for twelve bucks. 27:04.000 --> 27:06.000 Yeah what suckers. 27:06.000 --> 27:08.000 Yeah we sure was. 27:08.000 --> 27:10.000 Well I mean the dames. 27:10.000 --> 27:12.000 What do you mean the dames? 27:12.000 --> 27:15.000 Look what I swiped from the grocery bag a whole salami. 27:15.000 --> 27:41.000 Oh. 27:41.000 --> 27:46.000 Yes it's a hit thousands of men have switched to new Ben-X brushless shave cream. 27:46.000 --> 27:51.000 Thousands are discovering that Ben-X gives them the best shaves they've ever had. 27:51.000 --> 27:53.000 Mister it's time you too tried Ben-X. 27:53.000 --> 27:57.000 The new wonder shave with a sensational beard softening formula. 27:57.000 --> 28:01.000 Ben-X brushless leaves your face feeling extra smooth comfortable. 28:01.000 --> 28:03.000 And Ben-X doesn't clog your razor or drain. 28:03.000 --> 28:07.000 But don't take our word for it just try Ben-X yourself. 28:07.000 --> 28:09.000 Get a tube at your nearest drug counter. 28:09.000 --> 28:13.000 Or we'll send you a big 25 cent tube free. 28:13.000 --> 28:16.000 Write your name and address on a postcard and mail to Ben-X. 28:16.000 --> 28:22.000 B-E-N-E-X Empire State Building New York 1 New York. 28:22.000 --> 28:30.000 Remember buy Ben-X brushless or try it free by writing Ben-X Empire State Building New York. 28:30.000 --> 28:32.000 Hurry offer limited. 28:32.000 --> 28:40.000 The. 28:40.000 --> 28:43.000 The. 28:43.000 --> 28:48.000 The. 28:48.000 --> 28:55.000 The. 28:55.000 --> 29:02.000 The. 29:02.000 --> 29:05.000 The. 29:05.000 --> 29:11.000 The. 29:11.000 --> 29:12.000 The. 29:11.000 --> 29:14.000 It's time now to leave Duffy's Tavern for this evening. 29:14.000 --> 29:17.000 But let's meet here again at the same time next Wednesday. 29:17.000 --> 29:21.000 Duffy's Tavern is brought to you by Vitalis for well groomed hair. 29:21.000 --> 29:24.000 And Trouche the hand lotion with the beforehand extra. 29:24.000 --> 29:28.000 Each Wednesday Bristol Myers brings you Duffy's Tavern. 29:28.000 --> 29:47.000 And Mr. District Attorney which follows immediately over most of these stations. 29:47.000 --> 29:54.000 This is NBC the national broadcasting company.