Mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world?
Well, your father says so, and your father knows best.
Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father.
A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons.
Brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price.
Maxwell House, always good to the last drop.
It's a peculiar thing about people, especially people who belong to a family.
First, they begin to look alike. Then, as if that weren't bad enough, they begin to think alike.
That'd be a fine thing if you were related to Betty Grable or Albert Einstein.
But what if you were related to the Andersons?
Looking like them wouldn't be too bad, I suppose.
But thinking the way they do, well, that can lead to all sorts of complications, like this.
But why does it have to be a surprise?
But who wants to go to an anniversary party if it isn't a surprise?
I do. Who are you going to call now?
Mr. Smith.
You already called him twice.
Well, I forgot to tell him something.
Betty, wouldn't it be just as good if Mom and Dad knew? Then they could help us a little.
Oh, so that's what it is. You're afraid of a little extra work, that's all.
What?
I am not.
Mr. Smith, this is Betty Anderson.
Don't tell me you're not having the party. I've already called everybody.
Oh, no, it isn't anything like that.
Mr. Smith, if you see my father or my mother, you won't say anything about it, will you?
Tell him it's a surprise party.
Well...
Just a minute, Mr. Smith. He knows it's a surprise party. I told him that in the beginning.
Mr. Smith...
Betty, I give you my word of honor, I won't tell a soul.
If you told him in the beginning, why do you have to tell him again?
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
I said, if you told him in the beginning...
I said, I give you my word of honor, I won't tell a soul.
Bud, will you please keep still?
You said you couldn't hear me.
I said I couldn't hear...
Uh-oh, I can't talk now. Somebody's coming. Goodbye.
Whatcha doin'?
Oh, hi, Kathy. Where'd you come from?
I was in the kitchen. Whatcha doin'?
It's a secret.
I can keep a secret.
Oh, sure.
If we tell you, we might as well put it in the newspaper.
I won't tell anybody. Honest, I won't.
Betty, let's go upstairs.
That's a good idea.
Can I go too?
You stay down here, where you belong.
I belong upstairs just as much as you do.
Why don't you go do your homework?
I don't have to do what you tell me. You're not my mother.
Ah, you talk too much.
You better tell me what the secret is, or I'll tell Daddy what you did.
What did we do?
Well, I'll think of something.
Ah, your mother wears Army shoes.
She does not. And you better not say things like that.
Like what, kitten?
Daddy, do you know what Betty and Butter are doing?
I know, sweetheart. What are they doing?
I don't know.
They won't tell me.
Where's Mommy?
She's fixing dinner. Betty and Butter are always whispering.
Well, maybe they're discussing something they don't want you to hear.
Everybody's got things they don't want me to hear.
Everybody's got secrets except me.
Well, I'll tell you what.
How would you like to have a special secret with me?
Oh, Daddy, you can trust me. I won't tell anybody.
Not even if they twist my arms and pull my ears and kick me in the shins.
All right, Kathy. I, uh, trust you.
Oh, I'll never tell anybody, Daddy.
Cross my heart and hope to die as long as I live.
Fine. Do you know what the day after tomorrow is?
Saturday?
It's our wedding anniversary. Mommy's in mine.
It is?
And do you know what I'm going to do?
I'm giving Mommy a surprise party.
Oh, Daddy, how wonderful.
That's a secret now.
Oh, I'll never tell anybody, Daddy.
Not even if they kill me.
Uh, yes.
Now, I'll tell you what we'll do.
I have to call Mr. Smith and make a few arrangements.
So you go into the kitchen and make sure that Mommy doesn't hear me.
Isn't this exciting, Daddy?
It sure is, Kitten. Go ahead now.
Okay. And if she starts to come out, I'll yell.
That's a good girl.
I'll yell loud.
All right, Kathy.
Real loud.
All right.
Nine or 90, they're all the same.
Once they start talking, you can't stop them.
Yakity, yakity, yakity.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Heck. This is Jim Anderson.
Oh, hiya, Jim. What's up?
Heck, I know this is kind of short notice, but Saturday's our wedding anniversary.
I was just...
I can't hear you very well, Jim. Can't you talk a little louder?
Well, Margaret's in the kitchen and I don't want her to hear me.
Well, what good is it if I can't hear you either?
Heck, Saturday's our wedding anniversary and I was just wondering...
Daddy!
I can't talk to you now.
Yeah, but Jim...
I'll call you later.
Well, hello, honey.
Jim, what on earth are you doing?
Doing? Me? I was... Why, nothing.
Who were you talking to?
I wasn't talking to anybody. I was just trying to find out what time it is, that's all.
There's a clock right in back of you.
I know, but it seemed later than that and I wanted to check with the operator.
That's what he was doing, Mommy.
How do you know?
He always checks with the operator, don't you, Daddy?
Yes, it's... I always do. From time to time.
About the time.
Jim, are you sure everything's all right?
Everything's fine, isn't it, Kathy?
Is it?
Of course it is, just fine.
Well, if you say so.
Mommy, I've got a good idea. Let's go back to the kitchen.
Why?
Don't you like the kitchen?
Jim...
What she means, honey, is that you can't very well cook in the hall, can you?
Something is cooking in the hall.
Is dinner ready, Mom?
Not yet, dear.
Well, whenever it is, so am I.
We'll make a special note of it.
Okay.
Now, why is everyone so anxious to get me into the kitchen?
We're hungry, honey, that's all.
You're sure that's the only reason?
Of course. Why... what other reason could we have?
That's what I'm trying to find out.
You know, I've been trying to figure this out for years.
What makes women so all fired suspicious?
That's very simple, dear. Men.
Mommy, the kettle!
Oh, dear.
Women would be suspicious if there weren't any men.
Of course they would, but not of the same things.
Well, I suppose that makes sense.
I don't know to who, but...
Kathy.
Yes, Daddy?
Get back on guard duty. I'm going to call Mr. Smith.
What?
Let me know if your mother heads this way again.
Oh, okay. This is fun, isn't it, Daddy?
Fun. Every time I start one of these things, I ought to have my brains examined.
My brains.
Hello?
Hello, Heck? This is Jim.
Oh, what happened? Right in the middle of the...
Daddy!
Jim?
I'm in here, honey.
Will you tell the children to come down to dinner?
You bet I'll call them right now. But, Betty, dinner's ready.
Okay, I'll be right down.
They'll be right down, Margaret.
Thank you, dear.
If you don't mind, I think I'll run upstairs and wash my hands.
Jim, the phone's ringing.
I can't hear you, honey. This darn phone...
Hello?
Now, look, Jim, I'm a patient man, but this is getting silly.
Is that for me, Father?
No, it isn't.
It certainly is. You called me up twice.
Not you, Heck. Betty.
Is she over here?
No, she's here.
Then why did you call me?
Because I wanted to talk to you.
Well, say something.
Father?
Goodbye, Heck.
Why are you waiting here?
Hector, I'll call you later.
You'd better hurry up, Father. Dinner's ready.
I know dinner's ready.
Jim?
We'll be right in, Margaret.
What are you doing out there?
Not a thing, honey.
I thought you said you were hungry.
I am. We're just...
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Right here, Dad.
I know you're here. Everybody in the neighborhood knows you're here.
Why can't you just walk down the stairs?
I thought it was time for dinner.
It is.
And you want me to walk?
I'll get it.
Leave it alone.
But Father, it's the phone. Jim!
I've been answering it all night. There's no reason why...
Hello?
Guess who?
It's me, Jim.
Look, Heck, I just finished telling you...
Jim, if this is your idea of a joke, it isn't the least bit funny.
Wait a minute, Heck. Honey, I've been telling the children...
Would you please go into dinner before everything gets ice cold?
But I have to tell...
I'll take care of Hector.
But, honey...
Jim...
Hector, Margaret will speak to you.
That's nice.
Okay, kids, let's go.
What's everybody so excited about?
Maybe we're having steak for dinner.
We are?
Hector?
Margaret, how do you stand living in that nut factory?
Well, it isn't easy. Is Elizabeth there?
Oh, not right now. You want her to call you?
Will you ask her to, please?
Yeah, okay.
I want to tell her about the surprise party I'm giving for Jim on Saturday.
So Mother's planning a surprise party, too.
Seems there's a lot going on and the Anderson home father doesn't know anything about.
And yet, ladies, most of the time the head of the house does know exactly what the score is.
For example, he's the one who knows best about downright good coffee.
Yes, your husband is the world's greatest coffee expert.
Well, naturally, we're often called experts, too,
because more families buy our Maxwell House coffee than any other brand.
But when the tempting aroma of your coffee fills the kitchen,
that man of yours is the only expert who matters.
And tomorrow, if you'll fill his cup with the rich goodness of Maxwell House coffee,
we know he'll smile with real enjoyment and say,
I've never tasted finer coffee.
Believe me, he'll say that.
In fact, we're so certain he'll praise our Maxwell House.
We'll return your money if he doesn't.
You see, that heartwarming good to the last drop flavor can come only from the Maxwell House recipe.
It's a recipe that demands certain superb coffees blended and roasted just so.
And only Maxwell House has that recipe.
Since no coffee is made like Maxwell House, no coffee tastes like Maxwell House.
Tomorrow, pour your husband a cup of Maxwell House.
If he doesn't say best coffee ever, why just send us the can and unused portion,
and we'll give you back your money.
Our address is right on every familiar blue tin.
Yes, serve our coffee to that expert you married.
He's sure to enjoy Maxwell House, coffee that's always good to the last drop.
A great many people believe that all things come in threes.
Good things, bad things, births, deaths, accidents, everything happens in threes.
But even they were sure without the threes surprise parties could ever happen at one time,
which proves conclusively that they've never been in Springfield.
Anyway, it's a short time later and the Andersons' dinner is over at last.
Their problems, however, are just beginning, like this.
Kathy?
Yes, Mommy?
Has your father come back?
Not yet.
Betty?
I'm in the kitchen, bud.
Can I see you for a minute, please?
I have to help Mother.
Go ahead, Betty, I can finish up in here.
Well, if you're sure.
I'm quite sure.
Okay, if you need me for anything, just yell.
That's exactly what I'll do.
Hiya, nuthead.
Bud wants you.
Isn't it thrilling?
And I don't even care about your old secret.
I don't care if you've got a million of them.
Kathy?
You want me, Mommy?
Have you finished your homework?
Oh, sure, I finished it long ago.
What's this about a secret?
Oh, Betty and Bud think they're so wonderful just because they've got a secret.
Angel, speaking of secrets, would you like to do something for Mommy?
I don't know any secrets.
I know, dear, but...
And even if I did, I couldn't tell because then it wouldn't be a secret anymore.
Of course, but...
And besides, I don't know anything about the surprise party.
Kathy.
Oh, gee whiz.
I didn't mean to say it.
I'm sure you didn't.
And Kathy, I don't know how you found out,
but let's be sure that no one else knows anything about our secret.
What secret?
The surprise party I'm giving for your father on Saturday.
Kathy, what's wrong with you?
I don't feel well.
You're tired, sweetheart.
A good night's rest and you'll be as good as new.
Mommy.
Yes, dear?
If somebody tells you a secret and then somebody else tells you a secret...
Kathy!
What are you supposed to do?
About what, dear?
What I just said.
If somebody tells you a secret and you already know it because somebody else told you...
What?
What?
Kathy!
You'd better see what they want, dear.
But what about my problem?
We'll talk about it sometime when we're not so tired.
Okay.
Now run along like a good girl.
Okay.
And Kathy, I wish you'd stop saying okay.
Okay.
Gee whiz, all the secrets in the whole world may have to pick out the same one.
What are you mumbling about?
I'm not happy.
Well, don't worry, Squirt.
We're going to fix that right now.
Look, how would you like to know what our secret is?
I wouldn't if I know enough secrets.
But we have to tell you.
No, you don't.
We do.
Kathy, you've got to help us.
I don't have to do anything, and I don't want to know any more secrets.
That's fine.
Your own sister and brother...
Your own flesh and fish.
Well, okay.
What's the secret?
We're giving Mother and Father a surprise party on Saturday.
Oh no.
And if you tell one person but one, well, you better not, that's all.
Why did you have to tell me?
Because we want you to get them out of the house.
They won't go.
Why not?
I can't tell you.
Why can't you?
Because it's a secret.
But all you have to do is get them to take you for a walk or something.
I used to be so happy.
Look, Kathy, I'll give you my old catcher's mitt.
I didn't know anything.
And I'll give you back your football.
I was such a happy little dope.
But it's Father.
Remember, Kathy, if you say one word... Hiya, Dad.
How's every little old thing?
Well, Bud, would you like to make a full confession now or shall I send Kathy for the rubber hose?
What?
Where did you hide the body?
Hello, Father.
I didn't have the hose.
What body?
Hello, Betty. I know it. And anybody.
And if anybody thinks I know what I'm talking about, he's crazy.
Mother's in the kitchen.
Good. Wake me up in time for the fourth race.
Betty, I think we'd better go upstairs.
We'll see you later, Father.
Give my regards to the Governor.
Buzz, buzz, buzz, whisper, whisper, whisper, nothing but secrets.
Daddy.
You haven't told anybody about ours, have you?
Oh, but I...
Oh, keep an eye peeled for your mother, kitten. I've got to call Mr. Smith again.
Bud, I want to ask you...
Not now, Kathy. We'll talk about it later.
Can't I even ask one question?
All right, but make it...
Hello?
Oh, heck, I forgot to tell you something.
Again?
What if you know a secret?
Not now, Kathy.
Gee whiz.
Heck, I'll leave the back door open and you take everybody into the kitchen.
You told me that.
Oh, did I tell you the signal?
What signal?
Beasel bub.
When I say Beasel bub, everybody comes rushing in.
Beasel bub.
That's the signal. Can you remember it?
I'll have it tattooed on my chest.
Oh, here's another thing.
Please, Jim, I got a small chest.
I know. Look, heck, you won't say anything about this to Margaret, will you?
After all, we want it to be a surprise, don't we?
Oh, yeah, sure. We're going to surprise everybody.
Attaboy. Well, I'll be seeing you, heck.
Good night, Jim.
Good night, pal.
Daddy.
What is it?
If I told you a secret...
Honey, I don't have any time for secrets right now.
But this is about the party.
Oh, what about it?
Well, is a secret always a secret?
I mean, if somebody tells you a secret and somebody else tells you a secret,
can't you even tell anybody that the secret isn't even a secret anymore?
Uh...
Why don't you call me up next Monday?
But the party's Saturday.
Kathy, if you don't want to help me...
What about the party?
Nothing, but... I mean...
Well, if everybody tells you the same secret...
Kidding. If everybody knows, then it isn't a secret.
Well, nobody knows, but everybody...
Well, is it telling a secret if you suppose?
If I suppose what?
Well, suppose Betty and Bud are giving us a prize party for you and Mommy.
What?
I didn't say they were.
Betty!
I just said suppose.
Betty!
Did you call me, Father?
Come down here and bring Bud with you.
Okay.
They'll kill me. They said they'll kill me.
No one's going to hurt you.
Bud, walk down the stairs.
Did you say something, Dad?
I...
Never mind.
What's the matter, Father?
What's this about you and Bud giving a party?
Kathy!
Just you wait.
I didn't tell him. Honest, I didn't.
Leave Kathy alone.
It's a good thing somebody around here has some sense.
You mean Kathy?
Me?
Well, what's the sense of having two parties on the same night?
You mean there's going to be another party?
That's right. I'm giving a surprise party for your mother on Saturday.
But that's what we're doing.
Holy cow.
Look, let's go into the den and close the door.
After we saved up all our money.
Come on, Kathy. You too.
Yes, Daddy.
I still think she had something to do with it.
Now, first, I want to say that your mother and I are very grateful.
For what?
Well, I think it's very nice that you wanted to give us a party.
Oh, it wasn't anything.
Aren't we still going to have a party?
Of course we are.
There isn't much sense to having two sets of refreshments, is there?
Why not?
Oh.
Oh, Bud.
Well, what's wrong with it?
I've got an idea.
Suppose we say that it's your party, but we'll toss to see who pays for the refreshments.
How will that be?
Bud?
Okay, we'll take heads.
Good. Here we go.
It's, um, tails.
That means we pay, huh?
Uh, no. I won, so I have to pay.
And it's still our party?
That's right.
Boy, that's wonderful.
Daddy?
Yes, Kitten?
Now you're going to toss with Mommy?
I'll get it.
Never mind, Betty. I'm right here.
Hello?
Jim, this is Heck.
Oh, hello, Heck.
We're all next door at the Davises.
How soon are we supposed to come over?
Didn't Margaret tell you?
No, she just said she'd see us.
Well, can you see our kitchen window from there?
I suppose so.
All right. As soon as the light goes out, bring everybody in the back way.
Okay.
And don't forget the signal. Bees, old bum.
That's my boy. See you in a few minutes, Heck.
Okay, pal.
Well, that takes care of that.
Father, I'm getting a little worried.
About what?
I don't see any sandwiches or anything. What if Kathy made a mistake?
She didn't make any mistake. I checked with Mrs. Smith, and your mother's giving a party.
Boy, I hope Mom made a lot of sandwiches. I'm starving.
But there's one thing we've got to be sure of.
Your mother must never find out that her party isn't exactly a surprise.
Well, we certainly won't.
Watch it, Betty.
Huh?
Oh, hello, honey. All finished with the dishes?
Yes, dear, all finished.
I dried, didn't I, Mommy?
You certainly did.
Did you turn the light out in the kitchen?
Of course.
Want me to turn it back on?
No, just leave it the way it is.
Shall we go into the living room?
All right.
The paper says it's going to be warm tomorrow.
It's about time. Isn't it, Kathy?
Huh? Oh, sure.
I thought today was very nice.
Yes, it was fine.
Sure is getting hungry, isn't it?
I mean, late.
Yes, it gets later all the time.
You know, we're all being very silly.
What do you mean, honey?
Well, sitting here pretending that we don't know about your party.
Party? Why? What?
Elizabeth told me all about the party you and the children are giving.
We're giving.
And I think it's very sweet.
Honey, you mean the party you're giving.
No, I mean the one you're giving.
I didn't want to interfere, so I canceled all my plans.
I mean...
Holy cow!
Margaret, do you mean you didn't prepare any refreshments?
Of course not. I thought certainly yours would be enough.
Ours?
Oh, Margaret.
There'll be a house full of people and nothing to give them.
Boy, what a mess.
You mean you haven't prepared any refreshments?
Well, we called ours off and we found out about your party.
Oh, Jim.
What are we going to do?
You'll have to run down to the delicatessen.
Daddy! But this is important.
What if somebody says, Beez-el-bub?
Beez-el-bub?
Surprise!
After all is said and done, the one thing you want when you buy coffee is flavor,
the most in flavor for your money.
And frankly, that's Maxwell House, the one coffee famous above all others for flavor.
So tomorrow at your grocer's, look for our familiar blue tin with the big white cup and drop.
Take home a pound of Maxwell House.
Then offer a savory cupful to the world's greatest coffee expert, your husband.
If he asks for a second cup, his smile will tell you better than I can why Maxwell House is famous for flavor.
As for value, just count all the truly good cups you get from each pound.
You'll agree, Maxwell House is today's coffee buy.
Yes, for the most in honest-to-goodness coffee drinking pleasure,
insist on Maxwell House coffee.
Always good to the last drop.
It's some time later and the Anderson Surprise Party is going full blast.
Thanks to the delicatessen and a raid on every icebox in the neighborhood,
the question of refreshments has been solved.
Not so, however, is the question of Hector Smith, like this.
Oh, Heck, do you want me, Jim?
Come over here for a second. I want to talk to you.
Okay, pal, what's on your mind?
Look, Heck, you did this deliberately, didn't you?
Did what?
You knew about all three parties and you let us go right ahead.
Well, sure, what did you want me to do?
You could have told me about it, couldn't you?
Of course not. Why? Jim, I'm surprised at you.
It was a secret.
Hurry, hurry, hurry, step right up today for a brand new Crinkles.
Candy Kissed Rice, it's twice as nice.
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Yes, sir, the whole family will have a circus eating Crinkles,
because Candy Kissed Rice is twice as nice.
Just add milk or cream and eat, no sugar needed.
Crinkles are the quick energy treat for snack time, too.
Crinkles, the newest post cereal.
Get Candy Kissed Rice Crinkles today at your grocer.
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best,
starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, Roy Barkey and the Maxwell House Orchestra.
In our cast were June Whitley as Margaret, Rhoda Williams, Ted Donaldson,
Norma Jean Nilsson, Herb Bygren, and yours truly Bill Foreman.
So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House,
America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop.
Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed Jayne.
Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations.
Applause
Your police force goes into action. It's Dragnet, next on NBC.
Music