WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:13.680 The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show presented by Carnation Evaporated Milk. 00:13.680 --> 00:26.800 Hi everybody. Our curtain's going up in a moment, but we have time to drop down at the 00:26.800 --> 00:31.480 grocery store where George and Gracie do their shopping. Here we are. Oh, there's Mrs. Hanson 00:31.480 --> 00:35.960 from down the block picking up a few grocery items. Amazing woman, Mrs. Hanson, always 00:35.960 --> 00:39.760 sets a marvelous table and yet always manages somehow to stay within her budget. Let's see 00:39.760 --> 00:44.640 what she's getting. Pound of coffee. Oh, and Carnation Evaporated Milk. Well, now she'll 00:44.640 --> 00:51.440 save ten cents right there every time she fills her cream pitcher with Carnation. Carnation, 00:51.440 --> 00:56.120 you know, costs less than half as much as cream. Now, let's see, tomato soup and Carnation 00:56.120 --> 01:00.240 to go with it. Well, now by fixing that soup with Carnation, she'll save three cents over 01:00.240 --> 01:05.880 regular bottled milk. Carnation costs a lot less than bottled milk, you know. And now, 01:05.880 --> 01:11.160 let's see, chocolate pudding and more Carnation. Well, now Mrs. Hanson's smart to fix her chocolate 01:11.160 --> 01:16.920 pudding with Carnation. That'll save her four cents over regular bottled milk. And boy, 01:16.920 --> 01:21.360 will it taste good. Well, all in all, I'd say that Mrs. Hanson's had a very thrifty 01:21.360 --> 01:25.660 day, so you won't blame her for smiling. In fact, you'll smile too at the money you save 01:25.660 --> 01:30.440 in little everyday items and the richer flavor you get when you use Carnation Evaporated 01:30.440 --> 01:37.440 Milk. Uh-oh, curtain going up on George and Gracie. 01:37.440 --> 01:56.440 Children, children, please be quiet so I can hear Aunt Gracie. Gracie, can I back any farther? 01:56.440 --> 02:01.440 Not backwards, Minnie. If you want to back any more, you have to back it forward. 02:01.440 --> 02:08.440 Okay, I'll leave it here. Hi, Aunt Gracie. Hello, Linda. Hello, Jerry. How are you? Oh, 02:08.440 --> 02:14.440 my goodness. Mamie, come on, shall we get a head caught in the goldfish bowl? Oh, that's 02:14.440 --> 02:19.440 not a goldfish bowl. That's a space helmet. Oh. Come on, Joan, get your luggage together 02:19.440 --> 02:27.440 now. Hurry up, girls. Oh, hello, Harry. Guess who just got in from San Francisco? Mamie 02:27.440 --> 02:31.440 Kelly in her trailer and the three reasons I shouldn't have come home for lunch. Look 02:31.440 --> 02:35.440 what she parked this trailer right on my new lawn. She'll ruin it. Oh, Harry, don't be 02:35.440 --> 02:41.440 childish. It'll ruin the lawn before it'll hurt the trailer. Why do I live here? Why 02:41.440 --> 02:47.440 didn't I settle down in... Oh, look at all these funny little people. Space Captain calling 02:47.440 --> 02:54.440 Rocket Patrol. Do you read me? Rocket Patrol speaking. I read you, Space Captain. We've 02:54.440 --> 03:02.440 got a big space balloon. What are your orders? Let Big Balloon have it. Roger. Hey, hey, 03:02.440 --> 03:13.440 hey, hey, stop it. There we are. Oh, I'm so sorry. I told them never to point their guns 03:13.440 --> 03:21.440 at people when they're loaded. Yeah. Oh, Harry isn't loaded. He always looks that way. Come 03:21.440 --> 03:28.440 on, Harry. Oh, wait a minute. I forgot to tell you. I stopped and saw your family before 03:28.440 --> 03:33.440 we left. Your mother wants to be remembered. Oh, my goodness. Now, isn't that silly? I 03:33.440 --> 03:41.440 could never forget her. I've known her all my life. He's not upstairs. He's not in here 03:41.440 --> 03:48.440 either. Let's go tell Aunt Gracie. Okay. Where's Uncle George? Uncle George? Oh, he's in the 03:48.440 --> 03:54.440 den typing. Why don't you run in and say hello to him, but don't disturb him. We won't. All 03:54.440 --> 04:06.440 right. Oh, aren't they cute? Oh, wait a minute. Blanche, come on over. Mamie's here. Say, Mamie, 04:06.440 --> 04:10.440 why didn't Joe come down with you? Well, he is coming later. Oh, Gracie, I've got the 04:10.440 --> 04:18.440 most wonderful news. What? We're thinking of moving down here. Oh, Mamie. Isn't that wonderful? 04:18.440 --> 04:34.440 George, isn't that him? George. George Burns, you should be ashamed of yourself. You didn't 04:34.440 --> 04:44.440 say hello to Mamie. Hello, Mamie. Hello, George. Look, Mamie, I'll play with the children 04:44.440 --> 04:48.440 later. I've got to write a very important speech that I'm making tonight. Oh, of course, 04:48.440 --> 04:53.440 George. And, Gracie, I'm going into the guest room to work. See that I'm not disturbed. 04:53.440 --> 04:59.440 Oh, sure, George. Mamie, how are you? Oh, it's so good to see you. How are the children? 04:59.440 --> 05:05.440 Fine. Oh, Blanche, I have some wonderful news for you. Mamie's going to move down here. 05:05.440 --> 05:10.440 Isn't that exciting? As soon as I find a house and a good school. Oh, Gracie, you know, Shari's 05:10.440 --> 05:15.440 still having trouble with her spelling. Oh, really? Well, why doesn't she do what I do? 05:15.440 --> 05:19.440 If I misspell a word, I don't use it again, and that way I never make the same mistake 05:19.440 --> 05:26.440 twice. Mamie, would you like me to help you find a place to live? I'd love it, Blanche. 05:26.440 --> 05:31.440 Could we start right now? I don't see why not. Now, wait a minute, Mamie. You know, I have 05:31.440 --> 05:36.440 a feeling that there's something we forgot to do. You got that feeling? No, now what 05:36.440 --> 05:43.440 could it be? Gracie, where did the Earthman go? The Earthman? Uncle George. Oh, oh, well, 05:43.440 --> 05:47.440 I can't tell you because if I do, you'll run right into the guest room and disturb him. 05:47.440 --> 05:54.440 Oh, wait a minute. And besides, you've already said hello to... Mamie. What? That's what 05:54.440 --> 05:58.440 we forgot to do. What? Well, you were so busy taking care of the trailer that we forgot 05:58.440 --> 06:08.440 to say hello. Welcome to Los Angeles, oh Mamie. Shari, welcome to Los Angeles. And don't forget 06:08.440 --> 06:14.440 Aunt Blanche, give her a big hug. Welcome to Los Angeles. 06:14.440 --> 06:21.440 MUSIC 06:21.440 --> 06:28.440 Well, I've been a straight man all my life. I've just had my billing changed. I'm now 06:28.440 --> 06:33.440 the Earthman. I love those little girls, but I'll never get that speech finished 06:33.440 --> 06:38.440 if they keep shooting me in the head with those guns. I'm used to ducking when I make 06:38.440 --> 06:41.100 when I make a speech, but not while I'm writing one. 06:41.100 --> 06:46.580 And those toys the kids play with today. 06:46.580 --> 06:51.080 Space suits, rocket ships, atomic ray guns. 06:51.080 --> 06:55.080 You know, they're so scientific, their own fathers can't play with them. 06:55.080 --> 07:05.060 Yes, those little, the things the kids play with today, it's just simply fantastic. 07:05.060 --> 07:13.800 I'll never forget when I was a kid, I, well, oh yeah, I must tell you this. 07:13.800 --> 07:16.700 Before I tell you about myself, I was walking down the street and I saw these two little 07:16.700 --> 07:18.660 boys arguing. 07:18.660 --> 07:21.140 And I said, what are you arguing about? 07:21.140 --> 07:26.540 And one kid said to the other kid, he says, I bet my father can disintegrate your father. 07:26.540 --> 07:28.860 So I said, what's this fight about? 07:28.860 --> 07:34.820 And the little one who was crying, he said, we split an atom and he got the biggest piece. 07:34.820 --> 07:40.460 You know, kids nowadays are geniuses. 07:40.460 --> 07:45.380 I couldn't split an atom until I was 12. 07:45.380 --> 07:46.500 Split an atom. 07:46.500 --> 07:50.740 I had to go to night school to learn how to tie my shoe. 07:50.740 --> 07:52.300 But I did have a space suit when I was a kid. 07:52.300 --> 07:58.060 It was my father's old suit. 07:58.060 --> 08:01.780 That was enough space snit for me and my two brothers. 08:01.780 --> 08:05.540 The only game I remember playing when I was a kid was Cops and Robbers. 08:05.540 --> 08:08.540 Of course, in my neighborhood, we used real cops. 08:08.540 --> 08:15.220 The games the kids played, they, rocket patrol and space captain. 08:15.220 --> 08:19.340 I guess they get the idea from watching all these television shows. 08:19.340 --> 08:23.100 You know, to have a successful television show, you've got to have something fantastic, 08:23.100 --> 08:24.100 something out of this world. 08:24.100 --> 08:32.940 Now, children, it's Coles Day, so you go and swim and wear your swimmers. 08:32.940 --> 08:35.540 You know, I think I've got it. 08:35.540 --> 08:37.540 Anyway, I must... 08:37.540 --> 08:39.300 I'll get it. 08:39.300 --> 08:43.780 Oh, I better take my typewriter and hide upstairs in the bedroom and finish the speech. 08:43.780 --> 08:44.780 Hello? 08:44.780 --> 08:46.340 Oh, hello, Mamie. 08:46.340 --> 08:50.380 Have you and Blanche found a house? 08:50.380 --> 08:52.380 Oh, not yet. 08:52.380 --> 08:54.380 Huh? 08:54.380 --> 08:56.380 Uh-huh. 08:56.380 --> 08:58.380 Oh, you're looking at one now? 08:58.380 --> 09:02.380 Well, make sure it's fireproof, and then if the children burn it down, it won't be your 09:02.380 --> 09:03.380 fault. 09:03.380 --> 09:04.380 Uh-huh. 09:04.380 --> 09:05.380 What? 09:05.380 --> 09:07.380 No, I've got everything I need, Mamie. 09:07.380 --> 09:10.380 I even made a strawberry shortcake for dessert. 09:10.380 --> 09:11.380 Uh-huh. 09:11.380 --> 09:12.380 Oh, the children are fine. 09:12.380 --> 09:13.380 Yes, yes. 09:13.380 --> 09:15.380 They're looking for the Earthman. 09:15.380 --> 09:17.380 Oh, oh, oh. 09:17.380 --> 09:19.380 I think they found him. 09:19.380 --> 09:21.380 Bye, Mamie. 09:21.380 --> 09:26.380 Gracie, will you call off the rocket patrol? 09:26.380 --> 09:28.380 They've shot me out of every room in the house. 09:28.380 --> 09:31.380 Now, children, you come down here. 09:31.380 --> 09:36.380 Now, children, the idea that you behave yourselves and left the Earthman alone. 09:36.380 --> 09:40.380 Look, children, why don't you play in your trailer? 09:40.380 --> 09:42.380 But that's a rocket ship. 09:42.380 --> 09:43.380 Good. 09:43.380 --> 09:44.380 Why don't you fly to the moon? 09:44.380 --> 09:48.380 Yeah, let's fly to the moon. 09:48.380 --> 09:52.380 Jet number one. 09:52.380 --> 09:55.380 Jet number two. 09:55.380 --> 09:58.380 Jet number three. 09:58.380 --> 10:00.380 That looks like fun. 10:00.380 --> 10:01.380 Jet number four. 10:01.380 --> 10:03.380 Come back here. 10:03.380 --> 10:05.380 Come back here. 10:05.380 --> 10:10.380 Gracie, I'm making a speech for Mayor Bowron tonight, and I haven't even gotten started 10:10.380 --> 10:11.380 on it. 10:11.380 --> 10:14.380 I'm going out on the patio to work, and if those children shoot me once more, I'm going 10:14.380 --> 10:16.380 to take those guns away from them. 10:16.380 --> 10:17.380 All right, dear. 10:17.380 --> 10:18.380 Uh-oh. 10:18.380 --> 10:19.380 There's someone at the door. 10:19.380 --> 10:20.380 Oh, no, no, wait a minute, George. 10:20.380 --> 10:23.380 It must be Mr. Douglas, the principal of our neighborhood school. 10:23.380 --> 10:25.380 I phoned him to come over. 10:25.380 --> 10:26.380 Come in. 10:26.380 --> 10:27.380 The principal? 10:27.380 --> 10:30.380 Yes, I want to see if his school is good enough for Mamie's children. 10:30.380 --> 10:31.380 Oh, I see. 10:31.380 --> 10:32.380 Hey. 10:32.380 --> 10:33.380 Oh, hi, princess. 10:33.380 --> 10:34.380 Oh, hi. 10:34.380 --> 10:35.380 Oh, hi. 10:35.380 --> 10:37.380 I thought you were Mr. Douglas. 10:37.380 --> 10:38.380 Oh, no. 10:38.380 --> 10:41.380 Well, we do look a lot alike, Gracie, but I'm darker than Kirk Douglas. 10:41.380 --> 10:42.380 Kirk Douglas? 10:42.380 --> 10:44.380 George, did you hear that? 10:44.380 --> 10:47.380 I didn't know that he was the principal of a neighborhood school. 10:47.380 --> 10:50.380 I'm going over to tell Blanche maybe we can go to night school. 10:50.380 --> 10:51.380 Bzzz! 10:51.380 --> 10:56.380 I just came in, and already I'm lost. 10:56.380 --> 10:58.380 What are you doing with the typewriter? 10:58.380 --> 11:02.380 I've got to write, I've got to finish a speech for Mayor Bowron tonight. 11:02.380 --> 11:03.380 Oh, well, I won't bother you then. 11:03.380 --> 11:04.380 Oh, a speech? 11:04.380 --> 11:05.380 George, wait a minute. 11:05.380 --> 11:07.380 I've got a great opening joke for your speech. 11:07.380 --> 11:08.380 Wonderful, I can use it. 11:08.380 --> 11:12.380 Eddie Cantor told this at a dinner for Jimmy Walker when he was mayor of New York. 11:12.380 --> 11:13.380 Well, let's hear it. 11:13.380 --> 11:17.380 And you never heard a laugh in your life like this when Eddie told this joke. 11:17.380 --> 11:20.380 And you'll do it even better because you're a better comedian than Cantor. 11:20.380 --> 11:21.380 I am? 11:21.380 --> 11:25.380 Yeah, I don't work for him anymore. 11:25.380 --> 11:27.380 Let's hear the joke. 11:27.380 --> 11:32.380 Well, every time I think of it, it kills me. 11:32.380 --> 11:35.380 This typewriter is killing me too, the joke, Eric. 11:35.380 --> 11:36.380 Oh, yeah, get this, George. 11:36.380 --> 11:40.380 Now, the mayor is sitting in his office, see, and the chief of police walks in and he says, 11:40.380 --> 11:44.380 hello, your honor, can you lend me $50? 11:44.380 --> 11:47.380 My wife wants to go to Cuba. 11:47.380 --> 11:51.380 So he says, why does she want to go to Cuba? 11:51.380 --> 11:53.380 Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. 11:53.380 --> 11:56.380 Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. 11:56.380 --> 11:59.380 He, he, he. 11:59.380 --> 12:02.380 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 12:02.380 --> 12:04.380 Well, Harry, there's more, isn't there? 12:04.380 --> 12:05.380 Oh, sure. 12:05.380 --> 12:07.380 Well, what's the punchline? 12:07.380 --> 12:09.880 Well I was laughing so hard I never heard it. 12:09.880 --> 12:13.680 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 12:13.680 --> 12:15.680 I didn't hear the finish, why did you laugh? 12:15.680 --> 12:18.480 Oh that was the week I had asked Eddie for the raise. 12:18.480 --> 12:20.880 Oh, that week, I see that same week. 12:20.880 --> 12:23.080 Well, Blanche wasn't home. 12:23.080 --> 12:24.980 Say George, shouldn't you be working on your speech 12:24.980 --> 12:26.580 instead of standing here visiting? 12:26.580 --> 12:28.080 You're right, come on Harry, let's go. 12:28.080 --> 12:29.280 Well maybe I can help you. 12:29.280 --> 12:29.880 All right. 12:29.880 --> 12:33.580 Oh, that must be Mr. Douglas now, the principal. 12:33.580 --> 12:34.680 Don't you want to meet him? 12:34.680 --> 12:36.980 I can't stand here any longer, this is getting heavy. 12:36.980 --> 12:39.580 Oh well here, George, I can give you a lift with that. 12:39.580 --> 12:41.180 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 12:41.180 --> 12:42.380 Isn't that better? 12:42.380 --> 12:43.680 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 12:43.680 --> 12:45.080 Better than a joke, I guess. 12:45.080 --> 12:47.180 Doorbell rings. 12:47.180 --> 12:48.280 Come in. 12:48.280 --> 12:49.280 Mrs. Burns? 12:49.280 --> 12:51.780 Yes, ah, oh. 12:51.780 --> 12:59.980 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 12:59.980 --> 13:01.480 Kirk, what have they done to you? 13:01.480 --> 13:03.880 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 13:03.880 --> 13:05.580 I beg your pardon? 13:05.580 --> 13:07.380 Are you sure you're Kirk Douglas? 13:07.380 --> 13:08.180 Kirk Douglas? 13:08.180 --> 13:10.280 Goodness no, I'm Mortimer Douglas. 13:10.280 --> 13:13.480 Oh Mrs. Burns, are you having fun with me? 13:13.480 --> 13:16.180 Well, not as much as I would have if you were Kirk. 13:16.180 --> 13:18.180 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 13:18.180 --> 13:20.180 But sit down anyway and I'll take your hat. 13:20.180 --> 13:21.280 Thank you. 13:21.280 --> 13:24.680 Now Mr. Douglas, if you can convince me 13:24.680 --> 13:26.380 that you have a good school, 13:26.380 --> 13:29.180 I may have three customers for you. 13:29.180 --> 13:30.180 Customers? 13:30.180 --> 13:32.880 Well yes, the three Kelly sisters, 13:32.880 --> 13:35.280 they are going to move down here from San Francisco. 13:35.280 --> 13:36.380 Oh, I see. 13:36.380 --> 13:37.880 Are they relatives? 13:37.880 --> 13:39.780 Well, they'd have to be if they're sisters. 13:39.780 --> 13:41.880 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 13:41.880 --> 13:44.580 Yes, well, I'm sure your three, as you say, 13:44.580 --> 13:46.580 customers will like my school. 13:46.580 --> 13:48.480 Are they of grade school age? 13:48.480 --> 13:52.380 Oh yes, and very smart, especially the youngest one. 13:52.380 --> 13:54.680 You know, she was born in 1945 13:54.680 --> 13:56.380 and already she's seven years old. 13:56.380 --> 13:58.380 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 13:58.380 --> 14:00.880 Well, I'm sure we have no problem 14:00.880 --> 14:05.380 because our system here is the same as San Francisco. 14:05.380 --> 14:06.380 Oh? 14:06.380 --> 14:08.880 We may grade a little differently. 14:08.880 --> 14:09.880 You may what? 14:09.880 --> 14:10.680 Grade. 14:10.680 --> 14:12.880 Here, it's A, B, C, D, F. 14:12.880 --> 14:16.280 Oh, oh, it is different from San Francisco. 14:16.280 --> 14:18.880 There, it's G, R, A, D, E. 14:18.880 --> 14:23.080 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 14:23.080 --> 14:25.680 Why don't you have them come over with their mother? 14:25.680 --> 14:27.480 Oh, that chair isn't comfortable. 14:27.480 --> 14:28.680 Well, sit in this one. 14:28.680 --> 14:29.480 This will be much better. 14:29.480 --> 14:30.880 Sit right down there. 14:30.880 --> 14:33.380 Now, now, continue. 14:33.380 --> 14:35.080 Well, where were we? 14:35.080 --> 14:36.680 Well, you were sitting here and I was sitting there. 14:36.680 --> 14:38.980 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 14:38.980 --> 14:40.980 I mean, what were we talking about? 14:40.980 --> 14:42.780 Oh, spelling. 14:42.780 --> 14:44.380 Oh, and by the way, 14:44.380 --> 14:47.280 you have to help the oldest Kelly girl, 14:47.280 --> 14:48.780 Shari, with her spelling. 14:48.780 --> 14:50.780 Oh, I'm sure we can help her. 14:50.780 --> 14:52.980 And can you help her with geography? 14:52.980 --> 14:53.780 Oh, yes. 14:53.780 --> 14:54.480 Oh, good. 14:54.480 --> 14:56.880 You know, she's never been able to spell it. 14:56.880 --> 15:00.080 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 15:00.080 --> 15:01.580 Here, sit down in this chair. 15:01.580 --> 15:02.680 This is much better. 15:02.680 --> 15:03.880 There, now, isn't that better? 15:03.880 --> 15:05.980 Well, really, Mrs. Burns, I must be going. 15:05.980 --> 15:07.380 May I have my hat? 15:07.380 --> 15:08.080 Oh, your hat? 15:08.080 --> 15:09.480 Oh, of course. 15:09.480 --> 15:10.480 Just a minute. 15:17.980 --> 15:18.880 Mrs. Burns. 15:18.880 --> 15:19.180 Huh? 15:19.180 --> 15:20.880 Are the Kelly children here now? 15:20.880 --> 15:23.180 Oh, that's sweet of you, 15:23.180 --> 15:24.280 but you didn't have to do it. 15:24.280 --> 15:25.880 They've got dozens of them. 15:25.880 --> 15:28.680 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 15:28.680 --> 15:29.980 Can you hear me, Shari? 15:29.980 --> 15:31.680 Okay, just a minute. 15:31.680 --> 15:33.580 Ah, look, give me that gun. 15:33.580 --> 15:34.780 Come on, I've got some work to do. 15:34.780 --> 15:35.480 In you go. 15:35.480 --> 15:36.480 Oh, you are? 15:36.480 --> 15:36.980 In you go. 15:36.980 --> 15:37.980 Oh, Kelly. 15:37.980 --> 15:39.480 There you go. 15:39.480 --> 15:40.480 Atta girl. 15:44.980 --> 15:47.480 Aren't you a little old for that sort of thing? 15:48.680 --> 15:49.980 Yeah, I guess I am. 15:51.180 --> 15:53.780 Well, Mrs. Burns, I must be running along. 15:53.780 --> 15:55.680 Oh, well, I'm so glad the Kelly children 15:55.680 --> 15:56.680 are going to your school, 15:56.680 --> 15:58.180 because from what you said, 15:58.180 --> 15:59.980 it must be wonderful. 15:59.980 --> 16:01.380 It is, and I want you to know 16:01.380 --> 16:03.780 we've never had any juvenile delinquency. 16:03.780 --> 16:04.580 Oh? 16:04.580 --> 16:05.680 Well, maybe you can get some. 16:05.680 --> 16:08.180 I want the Kelly children to have everything. 16:08.180 --> 16:10.180 Ha ha ha ha ha! 16:10.180 --> 16:11.180 Come on. 16:11.180 --> 16:12.180 Come on. 16:18.580 --> 16:19.880 Just got this out of the icebox. 16:19.880 --> 16:21.680 Doesn't that look nice? 16:21.680 --> 16:23.480 I must tell you what happened. 16:23.480 --> 16:25.180 I just said to Gracie 16:25.180 --> 16:26.480 that I'll never be able to get 16:26.480 --> 16:28.480 that Mayor Barron speech finished. 16:28.480 --> 16:29.580 And she said, 16:29.580 --> 16:32.280 you made a speech three weeks ago for Jack Benny. 16:32.280 --> 16:34.280 Why don't you use that one? 16:34.280 --> 16:35.580 So I said it wouldn't make sense 16:35.580 --> 16:37.880 because he's a tightwad. 16:37.880 --> 16:39.080 She said so was Jack Benny, 16:39.080 --> 16:40.280 so it ought to fit perfectly. 16:40.280 --> 16:44.680 Ha ha ha ha ha! 16:44.680 --> 16:45.980 Looks good, huh? 16:45.980 --> 16:47.480 Would you like some? 16:47.480 --> 16:49.980 All right, I'll have Harry Bunzel tell you how to get it. 16:49.980 --> 16:51.380 Ha ha ha ha! 16:51.380 --> 16:52.980 Well, actually, it's very simple. 16:52.980 --> 16:54.980 All anyone has to do is look at their issue 16:54.980 --> 16:57.280 of life with this picture on the cover 16:57.280 --> 16:59.280 and then turn to page 150 16:59.280 --> 17:01.580 and there you'll see strawberry shortcake 17:01.580 --> 17:04.480 as only carnation evaporated milk can make it. 17:04.480 --> 17:05.880 Now this recipe is right here 17:05.880 --> 17:07.480 for you to cut out and use. 17:07.480 --> 17:08.480 But that's only half of it 17:08.480 --> 17:10.180 because right here it tells you 17:10.180 --> 17:11.480 how to make the most wonderful 17:11.480 --> 17:14.180 and economical whipped topping with carnation. 17:14.180 --> 17:15.680 Yes, you can actually whip carnation. 17:15.680 --> 17:18.280 I'll show you how simple it is on your screen. 17:18.280 --> 17:20.580 You pour one cup of undiluted carnation 17:20.580 --> 17:22.580 into an ice tray, 17:22.580 --> 17:25.780 just as we're doing here. 17:25.780 --> 17:26.680 And after you've done that, 17:26.680 --> 17:28.680 you place the ice tray in the freezing compartment 17:28.680 --> 17:30.580 of your refrigerator for about 20 minutes. 17:30.580 --> 17:32.880 And as soon as ice crystals have formed, 17:32.880 --> 17:34.180 you take it out, 17:34.180 --> 17:35.280 pour it into a bowl, 17:35.280 --> 17:37.680 and whip for about one minute. 17:37.680 --> 17:41.080 Then you add two tablespoons of lemon juice, 17:41.080 --> 17:43.480 mix it in well, 17:43.480 --> 17:44.880 and then, of course, you add enough sugar 17:44.880 --> 17:46.280 to suit your own taste. 17:46.280 --> 17:47.880 Now you whip this until it's stiff. 17:47.880 --> 17:49.380 That'll take about two minutes. 17:49.380 --> 17:51.280 Now you put your fresh strawberries 17:51.280 --> 17:52.680 in your whipped carnation 17:52.680 --> 17:54.780 between split carnation-made shortcakes. 17:54.780 --> 17:56.380 And there you are, 17:56.380 --> 17:59.280 wonderful shortcake made with carnation 17:59.280 --> 18:01.080 and topped with whipped carnation. 18:01.080 --> 18:02.580 Not only that, but you have saved 18:02.580 --> 18:05.380 over two-thirds the cost of whipping cream. 18:05.380 --> 18:07.280 Now you read about this in Life magazine. 18:07.280 --> 18:07.980 Try the recipe. 18:07.980 --> 18:10.180 You'll find that carnation performs miracles 18:10.180 --> 18:12.980 in shortcake just as it does in many other foods. 18:12.980 --> 18:14.580 Miracle's just not possible 18:14.580 --> 18:16.380 with any other form of milk. 18:16.380 --> 18:19.780 And besides, it costs so little to enjoy carnation, 18:19.780 --> 18:21.880 the milk from contented cows. 18:21.880 --> 18:26.380 ♪ 18:26.380 --> 18:28.580 Harry's right, you ought to try this. 18:28.580 --> 18:30.880 Well, time is getting short. 18:30.880 --> 18:31.980 I'd better get on my speech. 18:31.980 --> 18:33.780 Johnny, you must meet as Gerrit's honey 18:33.780 --> 18:34.980 because it's the first time you've... 18:34.980 --> 18:36.280 I don't mind what you want. 18:36.280 --> 18:37.280 Gracie! 18:37.280 --> 18:37.780 Hi. 18:37.780 --> 18:39.280 You're back! 18:39.280 --> 18:40.480 Oh, hi, Gerrit. 18:40.480 --> 18:41.980 What you doing? 18:41.980 --> 18:43.180 Speech, writing speech. 18:43.180 --> 18:46.280 Oh, I see you've returned from your travels, Gulliver. 18:46.280 --> 18:47.580 Oh, Harry. 18:47.580 --> 18:48.580 You don't have time anymore 18:48.580 --> 18:50.580 to fix dinner for your husband, huh? 18:50.580 --> 18:51.980 Did you get the note I left you? 18:51.980 --> 18:52.880 Yeah, it was delicious. 18:52.880 --> 18:55.480 I washed it down with some leftover coffee from breakfast. 18:55.480 --> 18:59.180 I went house hunting with Mamie Kelly. 18:59.180 --> 19:00.480 Well, instead of going house hunting, 19:00.480 --> 19:02.480 why don't you stay home and take care of me? 19:02.480 --> 19:05.280 Because I happen to love Mamie Kelly and she's a great... 19:05.280 --> 19:07.680 These kids are going to keep coming in here all the time. 19:07.680 --> 19:10.080 Bang, bang, bang. 19:10.080 --> 19:11.080 I hope you're satisfied. 19:11.080 --> 19:13.180 You've driven George off his own patio. 19:13.180 --> 19:14.480 Oh, I did not. 19:14.480 --> 19:16.480 You were the one that came out here and disturbed him. 19:16.480 --> 19:17.780 I did not. You did. 19:17.780 --> 19:19.880 You were the one who was giving him all the trouble out here. 19:19.880 --> 19:21.980 You kept talking and talking and talking. 19:21.980 --> 19:24.380 All I was telling you was that you wanted to spend more time with him. 19:24.380 --> 19:25.580 George! 19:25.580 --> 19:26.780 George, tell me something. 19:26.780 --> 19:27.780 Did you happen to disturb him or not? 19:27.780 --> 19:29.280 Now, just a minute. Let George speak for himself. 19:29.280 --> 19:30.280 Don't you put words into his mouth. 19:30.280 --> 19:32.780 I'm not putting words into his mouth. 19:32.780 --> 19:34.280 You said you'd driven him away again. 19:34.280 --> 19:35.780 Oh, I was just going to ask you a question. 19:35.780 --> 19:36.780 You always tell me... 19:36.780 --> 19:38.280 You talk, talk, talk. 19:38.280 --> 19:40.780 I don't know what I'm going to do about you. 19:40.780 --> 19:41.980 Every time things... 19:41.980 --> 19:42.780 George! 19:42.780 --> 19:43.980 Just a minute, Glanta. I'll ask you. 19:43.980 --> 19:47.280 Oh, Harry Morton, you struck me. 19:47.280 --> 19:53.280 I gave you a little shove like that. 19:53.280 --> 19:55.780 You did not. You pushed me hard like that. 19:55.780 --> 19:58.280 I gave you a little shove like that. 19:58.280 --> 20:00.280 Harry, hard like that. 20:00.280 --> 20:01.780 Soft like that. 20:01.780 --> 20:03.780 Harry Morton, like that. 20:03.780 --> 20:07.780 I'm going into the kitchen to finish this speech. 20:07.780 --> 20:09.780 And if anybody sticks their head in there, 20:09.780 --> 20:12.780 I'm going to wrap a skillet around it. 20:18.780 --> 20:20.280 Are you going to come fix my dinner now 20:20.280 --> 20:21.280 or do you want to go over there 20:21.280 --> 20:22.780 and make enemies at the next door? 20:22.780 --> 20:24.780 I'll take care of it. 20:24.780 --> 20:26.780 I'll take care of it. 20:26.780 --> 20:28.780 I'll take care of it. 20:28.780 --> 20:30.780 I'll take care of it. 20:30.780 --> 20:32.280 I'll take care of it. 20:32.280 --> 20:34.780 I'll take care of it. 20:34.780 --> 20:39.280 Why you overgrown little children. 20:39.280 --> 20:42.280 Hey, let's take over the room again. 20:42.280 --> 20:43.780 Yeah. 20:43.780 --> 20:45.280 Jet Number One. 20:53.780 --> 20:55.780 I can't. 20:55.780 --> 20:56.780 Why not? 20:56.780 --> 20:58.280 Jet Number One is using her panties. 20:58.280 --> 21:00.100 Applause! 21:01.580 --> 21:02.580 Ehhhh! 21:03.280 --> 21:04.440 Jerry stop! 21:04.440 --> 21:05.920 Not in our lawn! 21:10.280 --> 21:11.360 George! 21:12.360 --> 21:13.440 George? 21:14.940 --> 21:17.100 Here look it up from me. 21:17.100 --> 21:18.180 Applause! 21:21.160 --> 21:22.480 How does that feel! 21:24.040 --> 21:25.540 Ahhh! 21:25.540 --> 21:27.540 Oh, my gosh. 21:27.540 --> 21:30.540 Oh, dear, help! 21:30.540 --> 21:33.540 Say, George, that was quick thinking. 21:33.540 --> 21:35.540 My friend George. 21:35.540 --> 21:36.540 He's in the pool, honey. 21:36.540 --> 21:38.540 Oh, George Burns. 21:38.540 --> 21:40.540 The idea of swimming with your clothes on. 21:40.540 --> 21:43.540 That's a fine example to set for those children. 21:43.540 --> 21:44.540 Now look at you. 21:44.540 --> 21:46.540 You're just soaking wet. 21:46.540 --> 21:48.540 If you're going to stay in the pool any longer, 21:48.540 --> 21:50.540 at least put on some dry clothes. 21:50.540 --> 22:04.540 You don't believe that was me who dived in the pool, huh? 22:04.540 --> 22:08.540 Matter of fact, I dived in twice. 22:08.540 --> 22:11.540 Once to rescue Jet Number One, 22:11.540 --> 22:15.540 and once to rescue her equipment. 22:15.540 --> 22:20.540 Well, time is getting short. 22:20.540 --> 22:31.540 I've got to get on that speech again. 22:31.540 --> 22:35.540 George, Mamie has taken the children out for a walk. 22:35.540 --> 22:37.540 Everything's going to be quiet. 22:37.540 --> 22:39.540 Blanche took Harry out shopping, 22:39.540 --> 22:42.540 and now you'll have time for your own shopping. 22:42.540 --> 22:46.540 Blanche took Harry out shopping, and now you'll have time for your speech. 22:46.540 --> 22:47.540 Wonderful. What are you going to do? 22:47.540 --> 22:50.540 I'm going to answer my sister Hazel's letter. 22:50.540 --> 22:55.540 Okay, good, good. 22:55.540 --> 22:56.540 Would you like a chair to sit down? 22:56.540 --> 22:58.540 Yes, oh, thank you, please. 22:58.540 --> 22:59.540 All right, there you are. 22:59.540 --> 23:00.540 Oh, thank you. 23:00.540 --> 23:01.540 Right there. 23:01.540 --> 23:04.540 I'll put this here. 23:04.540 --> 23:19.540 Okay, now, there you are. 23:19.540 --> 23:47.540 Thank you. 23:47.540 --> 23:56.540 Thank you. 23:56.540 --> 23:58.540 Why didn't you take the ink over with you? 23:58.540 --> 24:18.540 I scared you. 24:18.540 --> 24:42.540 Here you are. 24:42.540 --> 25:04.540 Thank you. 25:04.540 --> 25:06.540 Gracie, I don't want to be disturbed. 25:06.540 --> 25:26.540 Thank you. 25:26.540 --> 25:49.540 Isn't it funny? 25:49.540 --> 25:54.540 I couldn't write in there either. 25:54.540 --> 25:56.540 Oh, here's the paper. 25:56.540 --> 25:59.540 Oh, I better read the paper. 25:59.540 --> 26:00.540 Oh, dear, that's a good idea. 26:00.540 --> 26:04.540 That'll keep the sun out of your eyes. 26:04.540 --> 26:05.540 Let me see. 26:05.540 --> 26:06.540 Oh, here's the parchment. 26:06.540 --> 26:08.540 Hey, George, I remembered how that guy... 26:08.540 --> 26:10.540 Oh, he's been out in the sun too long. 26:10.540 --> 26:13.540 Look at the size of that blister. 26:13.540 --> 26:14.540 I'm going to knock it. 26:14.540 --> 26:18.540 George, I want to apologize for Blanche's interrupting. 26:18.540 --> 26:23.540 Oh, I did not interrupt you. 26:23.540 --> 26:24.540 I've seen everything. 26:24.540 --> 26:26.540 A husband under glass. 26:26.540 --> 26:28.540 It keeps the sun out of his eyes. 26:28.540 --> 26:33.540 Oh. 26:33.540 --> 26:52.540 What's going on? 26:52.540 --> 26:58.540 Oh, thank you. 26:58.540 --> 27:01.540 Oh, thank you. 27:01.540 --> 27:03.540 Oh, thank you. 27:03.540 --> 27:05.540 And carnation for you, Mr. Poncelle. 27:05.540 --> 27:09.540 Well, thank you very much. 27:09.540 --> 27:15.540 Well, folks, did you notice the wonderful healthy smiles on those kids? 27:15.540 --> 27:17.540 They were not only carnation babies, 27:17.540 --> 27:20.540 but those girls still get their regular supply of carnation every day, 27:20.540 --> 27:23.540 and that's something you can do for your family. 27:23.540 --> 27:25.540 Let them go on enjoying the healthful benefits of carnation 27:25.540 --> 27:29.540 by giving them carnation to drink mixed with an equal amount of water. 27:29.540 --> 27:32.540 And use nourishing carnation in your cooking too. 27:32.540 --> 27:37.540 There is no finer milk in the world to develop strong, sturdy bones and teeth. 27:37.540 --> 27:41.540 Abundantly supplied with milk minerals and vitamin D, 27:41.540 --> 27:43.540 carnation is wonderful growing food for babies, 27:43.540 --> 27:46.540 so it's no wonder that eight out of ten mothers who use carnation 27:46.540 --> 27:48.540 say their doctor recommended it. 27:48.540 --> 27:50.540 That's the milk every doctor knows. 27:50.540 --> 27:52.540 And now here's carnation's own contented couple, 27:52.540 --> 27:57.540 who incidentally this week were honored by receiving Sylvania's Pioneer Award 27:57.540 --> 28:01.540 for their work in radio and television, our own George and Gracie, ladies and gentlemen. 28:01.540 --> 28:10.540 Thank you. 28:10.540 --> 28:11.540 Thank you very much. 28:11.540 --> 28:13.540 Gracie and I will be back again two weeks from tonight. 28:13.540 --> 28:17.540 And next week, don't forget to watch those nice people, Mary Healy and Peter Lynn Hayes. 28:17.540 --> 28:20.540 And Gracie, wasn't that a nice surprise, winning the Sylvania Award? 28:20.540 --> 28:22.540 Wasn't it though? 28:22.540 --> 28:24.540 And oh, I've got a surprise for you. 28:24.540 --> 28:27.540 Mamie's husband is coming down to visit her tonight, 28:27.540 --> 28:29.540 and you'll have to go to the train and meet him. 28:29.540 --> 28:31.540 What about my speech? 28:31.540 --> 28:36.540 Oh, you don't have to make a speech, just shake hands with him. 28:36.540 --> 28:37.540 Gracie, say goodnight. 28:37.540 --> 28:38.540 Goodnight. 28:38.540 --> 28:49.540 Goodnight. 28:49.540 --> 28:52.540 Appearing on tonight's show were Sarah Selby as Mamie Kelly, 28:52.540 --> 28:54.540 Pierre Watkins as the principal, 28:54.540 --> 28:58.540 and Jerry James, Linda Plowman, and Jill Oppenheim as the Kelly children. 28:58.540 --> 29:00.540 Next week, be sure to see Star of the Family, 29:00.540 --> 29:04.540 the Peter Lynn Hayes and Mary Healy show on most of these same stations. 29:04.540 --> 29:08.540 Now this is Harry Bonsell saying goodnight for Carnation. 29:08.540 --> 29:35.540 This is the CBS Television Network.