uh...
good evening
this is ronald cohen inviting you to join mrs cohen and me for the next half
hour
when i was sponsored a joseph schlitz brewing company of milwaukee wisconsin
presents the halls of ivy
if you like good beer do is millions of people are going all over the country
after our select the bear that made milwaukee famous
let's face so good to so many people
that it's the largest selling beer in america
it has to be fine to be first
i
welcome again
i'd be colleagues that is
and the town of ivy u s a
allow between christmas and easter between the hibernation of basketball
on the awakening of baseball
and the appearance of a good concern to a college president
that's the unnatural calm which prevailed the i'd campus is a matter of work
speculation to dr williams hot under hall i'd president
as it says with my picture
it isn't normal is ominous peace and quiet
you know the absence of the familiar can be quite a frightening thing
like when one's foot reaches for a bottom step which isn't that
i thought one reason to get the good job
if you're a trifle psychic can you read my mind
yes you're thinking that i'm much too perturbed
over a very minor matter absolutely right and the page and read some off
it well
you're mad about
i think that we need to be part of our great big purple five
but i have possibly
possibly just residential skittishness but my experience tells me that at a time
like this
with no major controversies raging
the faculty in a rare mood of contentment
the bottom governor's all on speaking terms with one another
the budget reasonably balanced
something is bound to happen
nature of all the vacuum
that's because nature has never tried to get cigarette ashes out of a rug with a
broom
why don't you just relax and enjoy the calm period why don't you
end of calm period
president lifts receiver and is plunged into raging inferno of accumulated
trouble goodbye darling it was nice of knowing you farewell my love
tell the board of governors that i went into battle with chin up eyes forward
and he's knocking doctor hall speaking
hello doctor this is eddie gray or hello eddie have you any time today i'd like to see if you have
oh yes of course
uh... wait a minute let me see uh...
have you a class for the next
our
then uh...
they come over now
i'll be right there thanks a lot goodbye
anyway it's not mr wellman no eddie gray
he thought he let yourself be misled by your instinct
no i think we should go
i'm not going to have to be what my instinct
middle
thought that was what you said
i mean it to you let yourself worry i'm not necessarily like that
it's most attractive word
because the fact that i have never heard it before is immaterial it seems to
convey a meaning
that no other word quite as it's almost on a matter of peak
well i'm surprised you don't know the word is very common
well i i suppose every man's vocabulary has gaps in it
holes through which the most ordinary words and phrases may wiggle their way to
freedom
but middle
now how could i have missed that one
m i a z z l e d i thought
yes that i had held in it to die it and i a s l e d
uh... i think
and how do you spell misled
misled
and i a s
l e
that's right
that's a way
there's a little bit of full of surprises
flowering as it has under the fertilization of sanskrit gaelic
celtic gallic
germanic and icelandic
it's amazing to me how anyone even learns to say
that baby it's cold outside
why when i was teaching
you might get out the dictionary while i let eddie gray and we're going to get a
few more new words no i'm going to write missiles into it
and they find that no webster's tombstone has tilted during the night
well dr hall come in and they come in thank you sir
just take a few minutes
what's all right let's sit down in here
let's have it
i've been thinking about my future doctor
and you know all about my father
mike malik well he's given up the rackets and everything that goes with them
i guess he's got a lot of money stashed away someplace but i'm not having any of
it and i was often quite a bit of it once
for i've been
you turned it down
well i am too
i'm going to be good and broke
why are you know i'm going to be good at my job i'll get a job
that you don't need any advice from me at it
if you continue to talk as rational as you do now i'll be coming to you for some
maybe i don't need advice doctor but
i do need somebody to go along with me and i found it
yes sir girl
i want to bring her over so you and mrs hall can meet her
we'll be delighted
is she an ivy student? yes sir working away dealing him off the arm
uh... how is that?
waitress
she waits on table over at gus'
yes good for her
well we'd like to have you and mrs hall stand up for us
well you mean as best man and matron of honor? yes sir would you mind? mine on the
contrary eddie i think it's a great compliment
when would you like to bring her over? well tonight if you're not too tied up
uh... no no no tonight will be fine
and the wedding? this weekend sir
well
i'm very happy for you
i suppose you're
i suppose you're enormously in love
in love?
oh oh yeah sure doctor i guess
well thanks a lot sir i'll see you tonight
uh vicki
yes darby i'm coming
wait is there any trouble?
no i don't think so i'm just a little confused why?
well i was all set to tell you the happy news that eddie gravest were married
that he wants us to stand up for him
and then i asked him
if he was in love
oh was he all head over heels and starry eyed
no
no he was amazingly unperturbed quite matter of fact in fact
matter of fact about being in love?
and he isn't really in love nobody has that kind of control yes exactly my own
reaction
the cold blooded attitude toward being in love is like trying to combine a blast
furnace
with an icebox
oh maybe it can be done but i'd like a closer look at the blueprints
it's so nice to see you again mrs. hall
well i haven't laid eyes on you Mary since the junior follies
how long has this romance been going on? well if you mean how many dates mrs. hall
not many
mary works until twelve o'clock six nights a week and fall apart on the seventh
how can you two ever get together?
well we're taking the same courses we see each other every day practically all
day
across the classroom
you talk and chalk instead of moon and june
that's not right
it's all right for us mrs. hall we don't need moon and june
as eddie says
we have to face facts
we've got a living to make now and later
and if that doesn't leave time for anything else
well we'll have to face it that's all
i see
of course somehow i feel that time should be found you are both very young
you both have lifetimes ahead
it is not my policy to uh...
to uh... Victoria don't flinch i'm not going to make a speech
but it's not my policy to recommend the wasting of time but if healthy
sentiment is wasting it
i have missed a good part of my life
a profligacy which i do not regret
we just don't have time for romance
we're both very practical
as mary says we're forming our own little company and we're going to run
our lives like a business
and we think we'll pay dividends
i hate to think of you two growing up with just a
patch of little coupons around the house
of course there are other dividends besides money eddie some of them have been
calculable value well it's all right for you to say that doctor hall and
well i don't mean to be fresh but
you're all set your security got no worry
i'd like to have every college president in the country here that remark
wrinkle in education means to want a president's face
well i know what you mean a day there's a certain amount of justice to it to
maturity brings with it a different view of the scale
at eddie
it is not my job to try to play god but you're both most attractive young people
and i would simply like to feel that there is nothing in life which you do
not share
we appreciate it doctor but
well i'm afraid we'll have to go on the way we started
you and mrs all still stand up for it of course we will be willing to certainly
but i may still try to convince you that moon does go with june and that stupid
is not the only rhyme for cuba
maybe we're making a mistake to officiate this wedding
it isn't a marriage it's a merger
it's a strange attitude
i'm usually faced with the problem of dissuading youngsters from leaping into
matrimony
simply because it's a rainy saturday the doubt picture playing at the beach with
yet
but it is new
that is to me
i've never before been faced with two coldly practical young people
who don't have room in their marriage for that old-fashioned commodity called
love
i'm glad i grew up in the days of the latest valentine and the first stolen
kiss in the porch swing
we simply got to open their eyes i'd like to be here early word but we must
realize that we are tampering with other people's lives
uninvited
it's tampered just a little
well but uh... but how?
well i don't know but i do know that you need a haircut now
you run over to the barbershop and let doc fish talk you into a quiet stupor
while i do some very heavy romantic thinking
well in that case i'll stay home
why toddy
so i told him what was wrong with it
you know doc he's a very obstinate man closed mind no vision
why a man in his position should have national recognition
he'll never get it
obstinate that's what he is closed mind
you listening?
doc
you listening? uh huh
oh yes obstinate very
why don't you fire him then?
warren! oh yes indeed one of my closest friends i'll fire him
professor warren you're out of your mind man
who do you think i was talking about?
tooth shaw?
no
that's the trouble around this college nobody listens
a man who has constructive ideas might as well stick his head in a barrel
for all the good it does
i've been around here for thirty years
i know what i know
i keep my eyes open
you listening?
doc
you listening?
i said i keep my eyes open
well one of us is enough
understand you're going to a wedding
really?
confidential ain't it
i don't tell everything i know
well you're making efforts
i give you credit for that
i don't approve of this wedding
i doubt if that will halt the ceremony
i got married without your approval
eddie's father is mike malat
just finished a jail sentence
bad heredity
and that girl
what's the matter with her? i don't know
waiting to find out
one of yours was in here today
clarence wellman
said eddie gray had asked him for a job after he graduates
wants to be in his research department
asked for a job for her too
that's very ambitious what's wrong with it?
nothing, not up to now
but you know what wellman told me
no and i cannot conceive of anything which to me has a more monumental unimportant
so please complete your tonsorial mission and let us have cerces from this
weary gossip
it ain't gossip, it's factual
here's the girl working her way through school as a waitress barely able to pay
her tuition
no money for fancy clothes
and all of a sudden she deposits five thousand bucks in the bank
wellman's
personally i think mr wellman is going to be looking into it
does he usually discuss his deposit as confidential business with his barber?
you got a point there doc
you know something
i think wellman talks too much
shall i comb it wet or dry?
when there's beer on your mind
your best thought is Schlitz, the beer that made milwaukee famous
more people like the taste of schlitz than any other beer
that's why schlitz is the largest selling beer in america
tonight i'm going to tell you about three unbiased brewmasters
and the hops that give schlitz beer its character in zest
these three brewmasters select all the hops that go into schlitz beer
and to make their choice these men examine samples from all the best hop growing areas
and most important
they are told neither the price of the hops nor the name of the grower
in this way the three brewmasters have to make their choice without bias
they have to choose
on the basis of quality alone
now this is still another instance where quality comes before cost
patience before speed
in the brewing of schlitz beer
is it worth it?
let's look at the results
schlitz tastes so good to so many people
that it's the largest selling beer in america
it has to be fine
it has to be first
as we return to the halls of ivy we find dr. hall just back from a barbershop
considerably perturbed by the gossipy tongue of doc fish and the inference of dishonesty
of eddie grey's young bride-to-be
in the meantime has been doing her own worrying about the complete lack of
sentiment the lack of human emotion of a young couple who obviously should be
very much in love
there must be some explanation of that money toddy that girl simply doesn't look dishonest
it seems to me that we are assuming an irregularity which might very possibly
not exist
except in the vermiform mind of doc fish
and the habitual suspiciousness of mr. clarence where were you on the night of
january the thirteenth wellman
how do you account for a warm-hearted nice boy like eddie
turning out to be such a cold calculating young man
i think he was holding hands with his girl just to keep her from juggling the
books
yes it isn't logical and i'm partial to logic even in human equations
as haxley said logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools
and the beacons of wise men
and in my uh...
in my infinite wisdom i think you've missed the beacon and me too
i mean i also
something taught him
and what that might happen i have a nagging little feeling that i know the
answer to this and i can't pin it down
it's something they did
or said or
will you do something for me
for you all my sweet
i'd find the highest mountain barefoot swim the deepest river in full armor
cross the widest desert
when you come home
you can't invite eddie and mary over for one more evening before they get married
costa and if you think it'll do any good but uh...
their minds into the sign hung on them that says clothes
maybe they just closed for alteration
i believe that either you're in love or you're not
and you can't turn it on or off like a spigot
do i sound like the ladies home journal yes
and if you're working your way through a college president you may renew my
subscription for a hundred years
doctor hall mary and i both appreciate the interest you're taking
where they were very fond of you both it's only natural that we're interested
we think we saw you the other night
we've decided where
big disappointment to you both we just can't help but that's the way we're
building
and
i'm going to presume on our friendship and my great day
and would you would marry permit me the luxury of telling you a story
certainly got to know
and victoria this story has never been told to anyone before may i have your
permission to tell it of course william i want you to
how do you know what story it is mrs hall
just matrimonial telepathy eddie
and you've been married as long as we had to find even your mind holding hands
you mean you get to know everything each other is thinking
he that's pretty frightening
and it can be pretty comforting to a ready
besides saving a great deal of useless conversation how bad it would attack
i i have looked eight places down a dinner table at my wife
exchange the smiling look with her
and known immediately
but she found the food distasteful
but in a companion repulsive
the service ostentatious
and wasn't i finding my own dinner partner a little too fascinating
i wasn't exactly jealous
i just wanted to stand over the noise to talk to you
anyway and if the here's the story years ago just before mrs hall and i were
married i was in london
it was victoria's closing night in her great success give them tears
and while i was at the theater waiting for her to change
i opened a cable that had been delivered just before i left my hotel
you know you're actually i want to come in
i think i stayed out here just for that tremendous moment when i could hear the
rustle of the skirt
cd
and it's on it
you don't look lovely
and i can't think why they should be any surprise in my voice
i couldn't tell you to go on you know
i like it very very much
you're worried about something
the decision i'm afraid with the
yes
family well then let's walk for a few minutes may we
i'd like just to feel there's no one else around
just you and me
the time
this walk down to the river
yours has been a glamorous life victoria not always you know we don't start at
the top of the theater and after that one can i even pay it home on the way out
i suppose you have to have it
but you were born with the top rung
i've often told you about what may seem to be the drabness of the professor's
life
slow advancement very little money all dot i think i know we we've discussed it
so much that it's a lot
i'm not marrying your job
i fell in love with a man
over that man has been offered another job
what time
but for this particular man very highly paid
the very influential post in the last month of cooperation
complete financial security and i imagine
a certain social solidity doing what
research
in a field of which i'm completely familiar with the middle
william
look up
and everything is building before
west mister abby
why yes of course many times
nine centuries of history and stone
i don't know why i should love something which reduces the decision
significance but i don't
that's going
he'd never been in here together
i'm always breathless
when i walk in here
one of my countrymen washington having said that this happy
it seems that the awful nature of the place presses down upon the soul
and how she is the but hold on until now is less reverent
there's another american patch
over there but the west or is that
to movie and then why i have to
everything in a frame
is the middle case on it by your general pushing
i've seen it
listen to the echo
history sleep
statesman scholars
and over there in the south transits the poet's corner
all the hours i've spent there
reading words enshrined forever in the mind and heart of the world
with a happy i wonder
those who sleep there i mean
they did what they were intended to do
they somehow knew their destiny
yes they were the great ones
the dedicated ones
men who could not be swerved from the road they knew was there
that they helped me
help me
for
i feel you brought me here deliberately didn't you
you know what i'm not on the bed
and from the gittering bribes ice corn for i
not sell for gold what gold could never buy
victoria
you're not only beautiful your wife
and very good
and it is don't don't move for a minute
the shaft of light catching the edge of your hair
that that stained glass window up there is putting a lovely halo around you don't
don't move yet
you see
of all the memories of you that i shall one day treasure
this may be the most beautiful
this picture of you as you are now
victoria
why
and shining
i love you
mary
did you like the story
course i did
you don't have to be polite
i said i did
doctor hall
i guess i'm not as smart as i thought i was
we thought the best way to make the grade was to forget all that stuff about
love and
just make a business of living
what do you think now it is
but i've always thought i guess mrs hall
do you mind if i tell it to mary
but do you mind if we're here
or no i want you here
i don't think she'll believe me
mary
yes
i love you
there's something i have to tell you any
we're not as broke as you think
i don't care about that but maybe you will when i tell you
we've got five thousand dollars more than you think we have five thousand
dollars
mary
where did you go it's all right i i want it
wanted to know
in a radio contest
wrote a song
but kind of a song
i love song
one of the title
is the only way i knew how to tell you
it's just called
i do it all the time you knew what my sweet that those two are really in love
i knew that stuff they were putting on about their marriage on a cold business
basis with a lot of whale feathers
whale feathers
interesting zoological phenomenon
you know you know what i mean
the way they kept looking anxiously at each other for approval and they weren't
speaking for themselves at all
eddie would say
as mary says
and then mary would say as eddie said you remember
they each thought the other wanted to be unromantic
you're absolutely right
didn't i see them start holding hands while i was telling them about west
mister abby
holding hands they were welded
it'll take
surgery to get them pried apart long enough for him to put the ring on her finger
my darling
i saw a newsreel once of a woman who swam the english channel you have exactly
the same look of happy achievement
it's a prize i feel like a combination of mister and maybe i think that that's a
matter of argument but i think
i don't know what mister and then is doing in there but
seems to be one of the work
i've often wondered why to be there is always depicted as a male
all him he just a messenger by the bow and arrow
it's business to point out the target
when they're on your mind
your best part is slits the beer that made milwaukee famous
more people like the taste of slits than any other being
that's why it's like this is the largest selling beer in america
mister missus ronald colman
good night everyone
growing company of the water
like to adopt a part of my house on television
on friday night
gilder sleeve has a surprise for you
listen on nbc