WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:07.000 transcribed 00:08.480 --> 00:12.920 the bear that made milwaukee famous presents the halls of ivy starring 00:12.920 --> 00:19.920 mr and mrs ronald colman 00:23.640 --> 00:27.960 good evening this is ronald colman and benita colman inviting you to join us again on the 00:27.960 --> 00:33.200 campus of ivy college as the guests of our sponsors the boys of slits beer 00:33.200 --> 00:38.960 tonight's program is dedicated to dr marion t harington president of texas a 00:38.960 --> 00:41.960 and m college 00:41.960 --> 00:43.560 stuff 00:43.560 --> 00:46.800 the taste so many people prefer 00:46.800 --> 00:52.560 has made slits beer first in sales in the u s a 00:52.560 --> 00:54.160 if you like good beer 00:54.160 --> 00:58.520 do with millions of people are doing all over the nation asked for a slip 00:58.520 --> 01:05.520 the most popular beer in history 01:18.240 --> 01:20.080 welcome again 01:20.080 --> 01:24.120 i'd be colleagues that is in the town of ivy u s a 01:24.120 --> 01:28.360 it's been an eventful day on the campus not because of the usual activities of 01:28.360 --> 01:30.180 the faculty and student body 01:30.180 --> 01:33.840 not because of what anybody did but because of what one undergraduate 01:33.840 --> 01:35.520 refused to do 01:35.520 --> 01:37.720 his actions from the college in one of the world 01:37.720 --> 01:40.840 factions begin to form on all sides 01:40.840 --> 01:44.120 but dr williams out of the hall president of ivy is completely unaware of 01:44.120 --> 01:45.160 the incident 01:45.160 --> 01:48.600 since he and his wife victoria have been at the state capitol all day 01:48.600 --> 01:50.680 attending an educational conference 01:50.680 --> 01:54.360 it's dusk as they're driving back home and they've just turned up elm street on 01:54.360 --> 01:58.260 their way to number one faculty role as dr hollis saying 01:58.260 --> 01:59.760 you know vicki 01:59.760 --> 02:03.560 if you ever had a rival for my affections it will be this campus 02:03.560 --> 02:06.840 returning to ivy even after a very brief absence 02:06.840 --> 02:11.180 is like returning to a circle of old and cherished friends 02:11.180 --> 02:14.280 the campus doesn't call you up and want you to play bridge after you come home 02:14.280 --> 02:16.800 tired and hungry 02:16.800 --> 02:20.380 of course i suppose my emotions concerning it is somewhat mixed 02:20.380 --> 02:22.840 as i am both the fact in father so to speak 02:22.840 --> 02:24.600 and one of its funds 02:24.600 --> 02:26.760 starting here as a freshman student 02:26.760 --> 02:28.560 then coming back as instructors 02:28.560 --> 02:29.600 then professor 02:29.600 --> 02:32.200 and now as president 02:32.200 --> 02:36.640 i've always thought that you scholars ought to have decorations to wear on your chest 02:36.640 --> 02:38.920 like campaign ribbons 02:38.920 --> 02:40.320 that's a splendid idea 02:40.320 --> 02:45.400 oh nothing really i've got ideas i haven't even thought of yet 02:45.400 --> 02:49.120 well imagine meeting a fellow pedagogue in a hotel lobby 02:49.120 --> 02:53.920 examining his chest and being able to read off his academic accomplishments 02:53.920 --> 02:56.640 aha master of arts 02:56.640 --> 03:02.280 with oak leaf cluster for advancing through smoke of burning midnight oil 03:02.280 --> 03:04.400 oh bachelor of science 03:04.400 --> 03:08.400 with purple heart for wounded ego when refused to raise 03:08.400 --> 03:10.240 it ought to be a medal to heroism too 03:10.240 --> 03:15.160 wearing a vest in hot weather just to show off a phi beta kappa key 03:15.160 --> 03:17.280 vicki my love it's an inspiration 03:17.280 --> 03:22.280 i shall lose no time in suggesting it to the next annual knee pad meeting 03:22.280 --> 03:23.720 the what meeting? 03:23.720 --> 03:27.560 knee pad? yes dear NIEPAD 03:27.560 --> 03:33.160 national institute of executives presidents and deans 03:33.160 --> 03:36.920 it was suggested that we call it knee pad because we spend so much of our time 03:36.920 --> 03:40.400 praying for endowment 03:40.400 --> 03:42.360 well here we are 03:42.360 --> 03:43.520 home again 03:43.520 --> 03:48.720 number one faculty row still seems to be where we left it this morning hasn't moved an inch 03:48.720 --> 03:51.520 nothing has changed apparently 03:51.520 --> 03:54.720 even the chimes are running on time 03:54.720 --> 03:57.880 toddy someday i'd like to meet our bell ringer 03:57.880 --> 04:04.440 i have such a charming mental picture of a little feather of a man swinging bravely at the end of a rope 04:04.440 --> 04:08.640 uh... a sort of human yo-yo 04:08.640 --> 04:12.800 well i hate to disenchant you my love but our chimes are operated by 04:12.800 --> 04:15.880 an electrically controlled timing device 04:15.880 --> 04:17.240 no little yo-yo 04:17.240 --> 04:20.200 no dear no no the uh... 04:20.200 --> 04:24.360 the age of electronics has eliminated the factor of human error 04:24.360 --> 04:28.120 while preserving the mellow cadences of the middle ages 04:28.120 --> 04:35.760 we're rapidly advancing toward that happy utopia wherein human beings can be eliminated entirely 04:35.760 --> 04:38.760 and the universe will be run by push buttons 04:38.760 --> 04:43.720 pushed by levers pushed by other push buttons 04:43.720 --> 04:45.080 eventually we will 04:45.080 --> 04:47.400 oh hello professor maxwell 04:47.400 --> 04:49.760 good evening doctor hall 04:49.760 --> 04:53.360 professor maxwell and how's our favorite astronomy professor tonight 04:53.360 --> 04:58.560 well i still seem to be rotating on my axis and i've just paid my income taxes 04:58.560 --> 05:01.000 oh say that that's quite good 05:01.000 --> 05:02.760 you follow me doctor? Axis? 05:02.760 --> 05:07.000 oh i do professor 05:07.000 --> 05:11.840 you know i don't understand why i never think of these things to say in class 05:11.840 --> 05:14.320 apparently i'm just a sidewalk wit 05:14.320 --> 05:16.120 but a classroom bore 05:16.120 --> 05:18.760 well well with warmer weather approaching you 05:18.760 --> 05:21.880 you might start holding classes on the sidewalk 05:21.880 --> 05:24.720 you seem to handle the abstract better on the concrete 05:24.720 --> 05:28.440 oh yes 05:28.440 --> 05:30.160 you two are on absolute rock 05:30.160 --> 05:31.880 won't you come inside professor? 05:31.880 --> 05:34.640 oh no no no thank you it's not really a visit 05:34.640 --> 05:39.400 i just thought perhaps you had heard but oh no you were away all day so you wouldn't have and 05:39.400 --> 05:41.960 you must be tired it is dinner time isn't it 05:41.960 --> 05:43.320 well i won't bother you now 05:43.320 --> 05:46.280 oh but if it's something important you wanted to see me about 05:46.280 --> 05:49.560 well i no no no i i really 05:49.560 --> 05:51.800 you know i never noticed it before 05:51.800 --> 05:55.960 but you get a very good view of castor and pollock from your front porch don't you 05:55.960 --> 05:56.800 do we? 05:56.800 --> 05:58.280 yes yes indeed 05:58.280 --> 06:01.640 oh here i am talking shop again while you're politely shivering 06:01.640 --> 06:03.400 i'll drop in another time if i may 06:03.400 --> 06:04.720 oh please do professor 06:04.720 --> 06:05.840 i'll make it soon 06:05.840 --> 06:08.080 thank you thank you i will good night 06:08.080 --> 06:08.800 good night 06:09.600 --> 06:12.400 ah he's such a cupcake isn't he 06:13.920 --> 06:16.080 joy is his little joke so much 06:16.080 --> 06:20.000 yes he's a completely unpretentious scholar and a brilliant one 06:20.720 --> 06:23.440 i wonder what he meant by perhaps we'd heard 06:24.640 --> 06:27.400 doll you're coming good evening doctor hall 06:27.400 --> 06:28.600 ah louisa 06:28.600 --> 06:30.560 have a nice quiet day while we were gone 06:30.560 --> 06:33.360 i don't know miss hall i've been too busy 06:35.280 --> 06:37.120 there's a fire in the library 06:37.120 --> 06:39.040 good heavens did you call the fire department 06:39.840 --> 06:41.680 it's in the fireplace miss hall 06:43.520 --> 06:45.280 here's a list of phone calls 06:45.280 --> 06:46.880 thank you louisa anything urgent? 06:47.520 --> 06:52.000 didn't seem to be capricorn was here on and off 06:52.720 --> 06:57.440 capricorn i'm afraid we only have orange marmalade for dinner 06:58.080 --> 06:59.200 only marmalade 06:59.200 --> 07:03.360 well of course it's always wise to eat lightly after a long trip 07:04.560 --> 07:07.040 a small saucer of marmalade and off to bed 07:09.440 --> 07:11.760 well we're out of strawberry 07:12.960 --> 07:15.920 i hope you like it charlie killed it himself this morning 07:18.160 --> 07:19.520 charlie killed a strawberry? 07:20.320 --> 07:22.880 no mrs hall fried chicken 07:22.880 --> 07:26.320 oh oh i put fresh cowls in the bathroom 07:26.320 --> 07:28.560 and hot biscuits too 07:28.560 --> 07:34.640 well got my work to do 07:37.680 --> 07:41.520 oh there goes the world's greatest antidote to loquacity 07:42.320 --> 07:46.800 capricorn oh i know that's our little star man professor maxwell 07:46.800 --> 07:50.080 oh yes yes it must have been and he was waiting to see us 07:50.080 --> 07:51.040 i wonder why 07:51.040 --> 07:53.840 maybe he wasn't just joking about his income tax 07:53.840 --> 07:56.400 maybe now that he's paid it he wants to raise 07:57.040 --> 08:00.560 come on darling let's go in and sit by the fire until louisa calls us for dinner 08:00.560 --> 08:06.160 yes in the words of william cowper we shall stir the fire and close the shutters fast 08:06.160 --> 08:08.800 let fall the curtains wheel the sofa around 08:09.840 --> 08:12.640 ah so let us welcome peaceful evening in 08:12.640 --> 08:15.840 oh that sounds so cozy perhaps we can help 08:15.840 --> 08:18.000 oh there goes our peaceful evening 08:19.680 --> 08:21.280 don't bother louisa i'll get it 08:21.280 --> 08:23.360 yes i know it's dinner time never the less 08:23.360 --> 08:24.800 by mr wellman good evening 08:24.800 --> 08:26.400 i couldn't wait i simply had to 08:26.400 --> 08:27.600 good evening mrs hall 08:27.600 --> 08:28.640 come in won't you 08:28.640 --> 08:31.440 i hope you haven't heard yet because i wanted to be 08:31.440 --> 08:32.720 why hello mr wellman 08:32.720 --> 08:34.000 oh i thought you'd never 08:34.000 --> 08:36.320 so you finally got back dr hall 08:37.040 --> 08:39.440 oh not finally mr wellman just 08:39.440 --> 08:43.120 just what oh i see just got back yes 08:43.120 --> 08:45.600 did you miss us mr wellman 08:45.600 --> 08:51.600 what i missed it's what you missed 08:51.600 --> 08:55.600 i've been laughing all day long i couldn't wait 08:55.600 --> 08:59.600 well if it's that good by all means let's hear it 08:59.600 --> 09:05.600 he simply got up and walked out dr hall walked out 09:05.600 --> 09:07.600 i can't wait give us the punch line 09:09.600 --> 09:13.600 well well well you won't believe it he he just slammed the paper on the desk 09:13.600 --> 09:20.560 and said i refuse refused by you i that is he said i refuse to take this 09:20.560 --> 09:25.840 examination because it's too ridiculously easy easy then he got up and walked out 09:26.400 --> 09:32.160 what do you think of that dr hall well who is he what paper and where young 09:32.160 --> 09:35.360 leslie gifford refused to take an examination in professor maxwell's 09:35.360 --> 09:40.160 astronomy course today period too easy he says 09:40.160 --> 09:48.160 too easy he says professor maxwell well dr hall what's the matter you're not 09:48.160 --> 09:51.200 laughing perhaps i missed something 09:53.360 --> 09:58.080 don't tell me you don't think it's funny now mr wellman if you're telling me that 09:58.080 --> 10:02.080 a student made a public demonstration about an examination paper then it seems 10:02.080 --> 10:06.800 to me that the boy was extremely rude rude how can you be rude to professor 10:06.800 --> 10:12.560 maxwell head in the stars doesn't even know what kind of day it is strange you 10:12.560 --> 10:17.200 should say that professor maxwell of all people knows with astronomical 10:17.200 --> 10:22.800 exactitude why the time of day is the time it is after all if it went for our 10:22.800 --> 10:26.880 astronomers the farmer wouldn't have his calendar of the seasons the fisherman 10:26.880 --> 10:31.120 his table of tides the statesman their maps the sailor his means of navigating 10:31.120 --> 10:36.080 a ship into port the steamships fishing politics what have they got to do with 10:36.080 --> 10:39.280 young gifford i'm asking you don't you admire his 10:39.280 --> 10:44.400 spunk spirit i call it very bad manners mr wellman i don't think it's very funny 10:44.400 --> 10:49.200 oh you don't well mrs hall it may surprise you to know that 10:49.200 --> 10:52.720 now that i think of it i don't think so either 10:52.720 --> 10:57.040 it's a disgrace oh mr wellman you gave in awfully easy on that one 10:57.040 --> 11:02.320 easy that's what's disgraceful that's what they call professor maxwell easy 11:02.320 --> 11:05.280 maxi why why everybody knows it is a pipe 11:05.280 --> 11:09.440 course why why why the students say take maxwell's class and get a good day's 11:09.440 --> 11:11.680 sleep 11:11.760 --> 11:15.680 all you should give gifford a medal and fire maxwell 11:15.680 --> 11:20.000 are you suggesting that every time a student refuses to take an examination 11:20.000 --> 11:24.000 you'd fire the professor dr hall this is no joking matter 11:24.000 --> 11:30.640 i mean what happened to my joke i thought it was very funny but dr 11:30.640 --> 11:34.480 hall if you don't speak to maxwell about his scandalous latitude it 11:34.480 --> 11:38.560 won't be funny i mean and you know what i mean 11:38.560 --> 11:40.880 goodbye 11:42.080 --> 11:47.040 oh professor maxwell of all people i hope he won't become the victim of one 11:47.040 --> 11:50.640 young man's impudence and flippancy they didn't abetted by mr wellman's 11:50.640 --> 11:55.200 flipping yeah as adison observed vicki the talent 11:55.200 --> 11:58.640 of turning men into ridicule is the qualification of little 11:58.640 --> 12:02.800 ungenerous tempers but lest we be ungenerous ourselves we'd 12:02.800 --> 12:06.240 better have a talk with professor maxwell yes and find out what kind of an 12:06.240 --> 12:09.360 examination was so easy that a student wouldn't take it 12:09.360 --> 12:14.640 yes i i can't remember any other instance in my entire career 12:14.640 --> 12:36.080 when a student complained because he knew the answer to a question 12:36.080 --> 12:39.920 the other day when i turned up my coat color to combat the icy blast blowing 12:39.920 --> 12:43.360 down ivy's main street i noticed i needed a haircut so i 12:43.360 --> 12:48.160 dropped in a dock fishes ton of soil parlor and shaving him 12:48.160 --> 12:52.160 well well mr carpenter you're in luck today 12:52.160 --> 12:57.200 i have a haircut here that's just your size and at a price you like too 12:57.200 --> 13:02.000 good uh i didn't know if you'd be busy or not doc but i just take a chance 13:02.000 --> 13:06.000 shucks mr carpenter it's been so quiet today i haven't even got the clippers 13:06.000 --> 13:11.120 warm what'll it be oh usual things says on the side 13:11.120 --> 13:14.240 how long you been the college barber here at ivy doc 13:14.240 --> 13:20.000 we've seen now nine to 35 years i guess i've clipped more people than a spry 13:20.000 --> 13:25.680 politician yeah 35 years last spring i remember 13:25.680 --> 13:30.560 the day i opened the shop here it was a saturday hot day too i put in a 13:30.560 --> 13:36.080 mighty good day's work that was back when the faculty had its hair 13:36.080 --> 13:40.480 and after closing up shop i went home sat on the porch and had a big 13:40.480 --> 13:45.440 cold glass of beer man did that beer taste good i can 13:45.440 --> 13:49.760 remember it yet now what when i say that beer tasted good i 13:49.760 --> 13:53.120 mean tasted good right down to my tired toe 13:53.120 --> 13:56.720 doc i hope it was slits because you're sure it was slits 13:56.720 --> 14:01.280 what else could it be yes sir i know all about slits beer i've been drinking 14:01.280 --> 14:05.360 slits for years best beer there is why it's the i know 14:05.360 --> 14:09.760 i know slits is the best like beer in america 14:09.760 --> 14:13.920 and it ought to be seems like all mccrooney's like it better than any 14:13.920 --> 14:17.840 other beer too well and their families like it 14:17.840 --> 14:21.120 i'll say this people are drinking slits and we'll go 14:21.120 --> 14:25.600 right on drinking it because it tastes so good the beer 14:25.600 --> 14:30.480 that made milwaukee famous that's milwaukee 14:30.480 --> 14:40.240 now there's a town i know all about it mighty nice folks up there good town 14:55.440 --> 14:59.200 now to return to the halls of ivy it's the next morning and dr hall while 14:59.200 --> 15:03.360 awaiting the arrival of professor maxwell is absorbed in astronomical 15:03.360 --> 15:06.160 calculations his wife victoria is doing some 15:06.160 --> 15:11.440 figuring of her own let me see uh three pounds one thirty eight 15:11.440 --> 15:16.880 pounds there's three eights 24 kmi three and three and three three three 15:16.880 --> 15:25.760 that's nine and three is 12 uh oh no kmi two and three three's are 11 15:25.760 --> 15:31.200 hmm do you know what that means tori well if three three's are 11 it means 15:31.200 --> 15:34.560 you've carried your two too far 15:36.000 --> 15:40.240 it also means that i've decided we're not going to have breaded veal cutlets for 15:40.240 --> 15:43.440 dinner tomorrow night as the old saying goes when you can't 15:43.440 --> 15:49.120 make both ends meet make one end potatoes uh 15:49.120 --> 15:53.520 what are you thinking about oh i'm sorry darling i was four million 15:53.520 --> 15:56.560 years away oh well then i'm glad i didn't order the 15:56.560 --> 15:59.840 veal you might not have made it back to dinner at all 15:59.840 --> 16:08.480 whereabouts were you i was on nebula ngc 4157 so i always called it cloud nine 16:08.480 --> 16:13.760 what's doing on ng 4000 well a terrific explosion took place there four million 16:13.760 --> 16:19.280 years ago but no one found out about it until february the 16th 1937 16:19.280 --> 16:25.520 well where was everybody huh where was winchell 16:26.640 --> 16:30.240 now when that happened vicki there probably wasn't anybody 16:30.240 --> 16:34.240 you see since that explosion four million years ago 16:34.240 --> 16:39.120 light rays have been traveling through the vast empty spaces of the universe 16:39.120 --> 16:43.120 until they finally entered dr zwicky's telescope 16:43.120 --> 16:47.280 isn't that wonderful traveling through space for four million years 16:47.280 --> 16:50.880 and then hitting a telescope right on the nose 16:50.880 --> 16:57.200 you see uh zwicky set up a system of photographing extra galactic nebulae 16:57.200 --> 17:01.840 extra galactic huh well i love to have these little bits of startling 17:01.840 --> 17:05.120 information at my fingertips but i don't think this is one i can use 17:05.120 --> 17:10.640 at the women's club now come on confess you made it all up 17:10.640 --> 17:16.400 didn't you including dr flicky it's wicky wicky not flicky 17:16.400 --> 17:22.000 no dr f zwicky is an eminent swiss scientist and his hypothesis 17:22.000 --> 17:26.080 concerning the the catastrophic events observed in the supernovae 17:26.080 --> 17:29.440 is one of the questions in professor maxwell's examination paper 17:29.440 --> 17:33.600 which i have been studying with great interest and leslie gifford calls that 17:33.600 --> 17:36.800 an easy one we ought to be ashamed of himself what 17:36.800 --> 17:41.680 does he think he is a zwicky oh it was easy enough for him you see 17:41.680 --> 17:45.200 i found out he's one of professor maxwell's brightest students 17:45.200 --> 17:52.880 but i also found out that we uh yes excuse me mrs hall i thought you'd like 17:52.880 --> 17:57.040 to know it isn't dripping anymore 17:57.360 --> 18:01.040 but thank you for telling me louisa i didn't know it was but whatever it is i'm 18:01.040 --> 18:07.920 very relieved it isn't and dr hall i don't want to butt in but 18:07.920 --> 18:12.240 he can't say i didn't tell him that uranus was in his seventh house 18:12.240 --> 18:17.040 oh i'm sure he can't and in conjunction with venus 18:17.040 --> 18:23.840 fine thing of course once jupiter gets into his fifth house things might look a 18:23.840 --> 18:27.840 little brighter for him but that's not until late spring well 18:27.840 --> 18:31.520 if i if i knew how to get from the seventh house to the fifth house 18:31.520 --> 18:37.440 without breaking a lease that's easy just pass by the sixth house 18:37.440 --> 18:42.080 but mrs hall the way it figures out mercury doesn't even show up in his 18:42.080 --> 18:46.480 sixth house until june oh of course the stupid of me yes 18:46.480 --> 18:51.760 but what oh now i see capricorn so that's what you were busy with this 18:51.760 --> 18:54.880 morning louisa charting professor professor maxwell's 18:54.880 --> 18:58.800 future eh like i told him yesterday he's in an adverse 18:58.800 --> 19:03.760 cycle dr hall he he's a nice man but i don't 19:03.760 --> 19:06.880 know why you got him teaching about the stars 19:06.880 --> 19:12.160 why didn't even know he was born on the cusp 19:12.160 --> 19:16.080 well professor maxwell is an astronomer louisa 19:16.080 --> 19:20.800 not an astrologer what's the difference it's all in the stars 19:20.800 --> 19:25.840 louisa astrology was an early attempt to study the interrelation of the stars 19:25.840 --> 19:29.200 and their influence over terrestrial life later 19:29.200 --> 19:32.880 under the guidance of exact science astrology became 19:32.880 --> 19:37.600 astronomy which has attempted to solve the deepest problems of the cosmos 19:37.600 --> 19:43.040 that's what i said dr hall they're both the same thing 19:43.040 --> 19:48.000 except i uh perhaps i might put it another way now let me see now 19:48.000 --> 19:54.880 um if you remember your copernicus louisa you must admit that answer doctor 19:54.880 --> 19:57.760 that'll be professor maxwell show him in louisa will you 19:57.760 --> 20:02.880 yes dr hall and mrs hall all it needed was a new washer 20:02.880 --> 20:05.680 oh 20:06.160 --> 20:10.400 imagine whole sentences louisa maybe we'd better take up astrology so we can 20:10.400 --> 20:12.880 communicate it'll be worth taking up if i thought 20:12.880 --> 20:16.640 we could guide the stars into a more favorable cycle for the oh 20:16.640 --> 20:20.160 come in professor maxwell oh good morning dr hall mrs hall 20:20.160 --> 20:26.240 good morning capricorn oh oh yes yes yeah i i didn't quite know what your 20:26.240 --> 20:29.920 housekeeper was giving at yesterday when she asked me for my birth date 20:29.920 --> 20:33.360 i thought maybe she was going to send me a necktie 20:33.360 --> 20:36.880 she just presented me with this it seems to be a horoscope 20:36.880 --> 20:40.400 louisa has taken quite a personal interest in you professor i hope you 20:40.400 --> 20:44.560 don't mind oh no no no not at all not at all as a matter of fact i have the 20:44.560 --> 20:47.760 highest respect for the early babelonians and their magic 20:47.760 --> 20:51.120 but when it comes to horoscopes i guess i have more faith in 20:51.120 --> 20:56.240 fluoroscopes aha now oh yes yes horoscope fluoroscopes is very good 20:56.240 --> 20:59.760 professor very good but i i don't know why i'm 20:59.760 --> 21:02.400 jesting in the light of what's been happening this morning 21:02.400 --> 21:05.680 i'm quite perturbed i suppose you know about what 21:05.680 --> 21:09.360 well yes professor but i wouldn't take it too seriously if i were you 21:09.360 --> 21:12.560 i didn't i didn't but suddenly it's all over the campus 21:12.560 --> 21:16.480 i realized that young gifford was just being impetuous and i don't want him to 21:16.480 --> 21:20.160 be embarrassed by this any longer that's a very generous attitude to take 21:20.160 --> 21:23.200 professor do you mind if i speak to the boy of 21:23.200 --> 21:26.720 course not dr hall but i wouldn't want you to penalize him 21:26.720 --> 21:30.240 he's one of my brightest students and after all i suppose i 21:30.240 --> 21:33.200 don't pay too much attention to examinations 21:33.200 --> 21:37.760 you see it isn't what my students put in their blue books that counts with me 21:37.760 --> 21:41.520 it's what they see in the blue heavens oh oh that's good 21:41.520 --> 21:46.720 blue books blue heavens do you follow me down oh indeed i do 21:46.720 --> 21:52.480 however we do have to conform to certain procedures in our educational system 21:52.480 --> 21:56.560 and one of these is examinations so with your permission 21:56.560 --> 22:00.720 i'd like to insist that the gifford boy take the one he brushed aside so 22:00.720 --> 22:04.240 cavalierly for all his brilliance as a student 22:04.240 --> 22:17.120 he is flunking in manners 22:17.120 --> 22:21.840 sure dr hall i'll take the exam i didn't think was going to raise all this fuss 22:21.840 --> 22:27.440 and i'll apologize to old easy maxi i mean professor maxwell thank you 22:27.440 --> 22:31.840 loressie i i'm sure you would well i wish somebody would explain to me what 22:31.840 --> 22:35.680 i'm here for everybody apologizing to everybody else and everybody missing the 22:35.680 --> 22:39.120 point what are you going to do about maxwell 22:39.120 --> 22:42.800 well so that we will all understand the problem a little more clearly 22:42.800 --> 22:46.000 i thought i'd ask you and leslie each a question 22:46.000 --> 22:50.960 what kind of a question an examination question what for i'm out of school 22:50.960 --> 22:56.560 i admit i don't know everything but i'm getting by quite nicely thank you 22:56.560 --> 23:00.960 but so dr hall mr wellman but he's been asking himself questions all morning 23:00.960 --> 23:05.360 and if i may quote him an intelligent man is never out of school 23:05.360 --> 23:10.000 well school is his business business is my school 23:10.000 --> 23:15.680 that's very close to the theater well after all it's maxwell it should be 23:15.680 --> 23:19.280 all right what is the question dr hall mr wellman 23:19.280 --> 23:26.320 what do you know about kepler kepler kepler oh you mean ira kepler wholesale 23:26.320 --> 23:31.200 mattresses detroit planet rating gunman bradstreet 23:31.200 --> 23:35.520 but how did he get into this i know the students sleep through maxwell's 23:35.520 --> 23:39.680 classes but since when did we supply mattresses 23:39.680 --> 23:42.800 in our astronomy class the sky's the limit 23:42.800 --> 23:46.720 now now leslie i'd like to ask you the same question 23:46.720 --> 23:50.720 about kepler sure dr hall that's a cinch everybody knows that 23:50.720 --> 23:54.000 kepler gave us the laws of planetary motion and he was the man who gave 23:54.000 --> 24:00.720 well of course that kepler well that's different astronomy 24:00.720 --> 24:04.400 not my subject after all a long time ago too busy a man 24:04.400 --> 24:09.840 forgets slips his mind that is 24:09.840 --> 24:14.320 now leslie i have another question for you can you very briefly 24:14.320 --> 24:18.640 cite wesley mitchell's contribution to economic statistics 24:18.640 --> 24:22.880 wesley mitchell well wasn't he the one who uh 24:22.880 --> 24:26.800 i know he was an american seems to me that he was a 24:26.800 --> 24:31.200 economic is one of your subjects isn't it leslie oh yes mrs hall but it's a 24:31.200 --> 24:35.360 required subject mitchell mitchell i don't think 24:35.360 --> 24:39.840 oh goodness sakes gifford you're taking economics and you never 24:39.840 --> 24:44.320 heard of mitchell you sleep through all your classes like 24:44.320 --> 24:47.680 this is shocking mitchell studies on business cycles 24:47.680 --> 24:52.240 history of financial i mean boom and bust and you never heard 24:52.240 --> 24:55.440 of him how do you expect to earn a living 24:55.440 --> 24:59.760 young man marry the banker's daughter 24:59.760 --> 25:02.800 you see gentlemen as the french might say 25:02.800 --> 25:07.360 one man's fish is another man's poison 25:07.440 --> 25:11.280 kepler kepler was a familiar subject to leslie 25:11.280 --> 25:16.480 who doesn't know a mitchell from a meteor while mr wellman the businessman 25:16.480 --> 25:20.480 knows mitchell like his babson reports and for him 25:20.480 --> 25:25.360 kepler might as well be be throwing custard pies at martin and louis on 25:25.360 --> 25:29.440 television the point is that brilliance in one 25:29.440 --> 25:33.200 field is no cause for intellectual arrogance 25:33.200 --> 25:38.160 and in publicly scorning an examination which was easy for you leslie 25:38.160 --> 25:43.120 you accomplished nothing but an exposure of your own vanity and bad manners 25:43.120 --> 25:47.600 yes i know sir i'm sorry i i guess i was a fool oh no you're not a fool leslie 25:47.600 --> 25:51.280 you don't have to remember that pride goes before a fall 25:51.280 --> 25:54.960 and sometimes quite early in the spring 25:55.360 --> 26:00.160 this is all very well but i'm still not satisfied about maxwell his course is 26:00.160 --> 26:04.000 too easy to pass oh there always have been and i expect 26:04.000 --> 26:08.400 there always will be certain courses known as pipes or snaps 26:08.400 --> 26:12.960 the student can coast through these but coasting will get him nowhere except the 26:12.960 --> 26:17.200 bottom of the hill he benefits only in so far as he 26:17.200 --> 26:20.800 contributes astronomy is an exact science but 26:20.800 --> 26:24.960 professor maxwell is not exacting because he realizes that the real 26:24.960 --> 26:28.560 discipline of a student comes from dedication and not 26:28.560 --> 26:31.600 requisition 26:40.640 --> 26:44.400 well that certainly sent mr wellman packing and i hope he packed for a long 26:44.400 --> 26:47.680 journey you should feel well rewarded for your 26:47.680 --> 26:53.120 cunning ways my darling aquarius aquarius it's astrology i just sneak to look into 26:53.120 --> 26:55.920 louisa's book listen toddy you were born under the 26:55.920 --> 26:59.920 sign of aquarius the water bearer every college president 26:59.920 --> 27:02.720 should be it makes it easier to carry water on both 27:02.720 --> 27:07.680 shoulders and to dispose of any annoying little drips 27:07.680 --> 27:13.600 uh naming no names of course no and you my darling you are libra aren't 27:13.600 --> 27:16.560 you yeah libra the sign of the scales this 27:16.560 --> 27:19.840 accounts for the fact that i weigh myself carefully every morning 27:19.840 --> 27:23.120 and that i weighed you in the balance and found me 27:23.120 --> 27:31.280 wanting me or am i just being vague libra my love your scales will never be 27:31.280 --> 27:34.400 questioned by either the department of weights and measures 27:34.400 --> 27:48.160 or william aquarius hall come here 27:52.720 --> 27:56.480 the halls of irony starring mr and mrs ronald colman has been presented by 27:56.480 --> 28:00.560 schlitz the beer that made milwaukee famous 28:00.560 --> 28:05.920 the taste of schlitz the taste so many people prefer 28:05.920 --> 28:11.600 has made schlitz beer first in sales in the usa 28:11.600 --> 28:15.120 why don't you too enjoy the most popular beer in history 28:15.120 --> 28:21.440 next 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29:07.360 --> 29:11.680 composed and conducted by henry russell the halls of ivy was created by don 29:11.680 --> 29:14.960 quinn directed by milton merlin and presented with joseph schlitz 29:14.960 --> 29:19.440 brewing company of milwaukee wisconsin we invite you to enjoy on television the 29:19.440 --> 29:22.080 schlitz playhouse of stars with helen hayes 29:22.080 --> 29:26.160 margaret sullivan ronald reagan and more of the brightest names of hollywood and 29:26.160 --> 29:29.440 broadway see your newspaper for time and channel 29:29.440 --> 29:42.960 can carpenter speaking