WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:24.800 The Voice of America presents the Halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. 00:24.800 --> 00:34.800 Good evening, this is Ronald Coleman and Vanita Coleman, inviting you to join us again on the campus of Ivy College. 00:34.800 --> 00:56.800 And now, the Halls of Ivy. Welcome again to Ivy, Ivy College that is, in the town of Ivy, USA. 00:56.800 --> 01:08.800 Dr. William Todd Hunter Hall, president of Ivy, has more than ordinary fortitude and forbearance, but even he has moments when he gives way under the many disturbances inevitably encountered in any given day. 01:08.800 --> 01:19.800 At the moment, he appears to be quarreling with a small magazine, turning the pages with more than usual vigor and vehemence, a fact which is noted by his noteworthy wife, Victoria, who says, 01:19.800 --> 01:29.800 Are you in a pet, pet? Yes, dear, and the juxtaposition of the two words is singularly apt. By one pet, I assume you mean a person specially cherished. 01:29.800 --> 01:40.800 Why do, as I said in my marriage ceremony, to you that is. Thank you, dear, and if by the other pet you mean a fit of peevishness, yes, I am particularly petulant. 01:40.800 --> 01:47.800 And the provocation is patent. Patent, provocation, well, shall I open another can of peas? 01:47.800 --> 02:00.800 Yes, you'd better, because I have a parcel of pertinent peevish and pungent paragraphs to present about publishers who plague the public with protruding pages in their pesky periodicals. 02:00.800 --> 02:05.800 When you do that with any letter of the alphabet, go ahead, try it with X. 02:05.800 --> 02:11.800 I know. I know there are limits to my alliterative talents, but look, look at this little magazine. 02:11.800 --> 02:17.800 Oh, bathing girl on the cover. Clever idea, wonder who thought that up. 02:17.800 --> 02:22.800 Yes, the lengths to which publications will go to find excuses for bathing suit covers. 02:22.800 --> 02:28.800 I always wondered why they call them pinup girls, and where could they put a pin? 02:28.800 --> 02:30.800 What are you complaining about? 02:30.800 --> 02:36.800 Well, suppose I wish to read the advertised article on page 12. I open the magazine and what happens? 02:36.800 --> 02:44.800 With fiendish alacrity, it leaps open to page 6, exposing a cardboard insert suggesting that I take a six months trial subscription. 02:44.800 --> 02:46.800 Why don't you tear it out? 02:46.800 --> 02:52.800 All right. There, it's torn out. Now, I try again to turn to page 12. 02:52.800 --> 03:00.800 This time, the magazine automatically springs open at page 104 and the other half of the cardboard insert thrusts itself at me. 03:00.800 --> 03:05.800 Ah, well, after this I'll get to the magazines first and tear out the inserts myself. 03:05.800 --> 03:10.800 Oh, my dear, I wouldn't. Such small tribulations are good for me. They build character. 03:10.800 --> 03:16.800 Oh, what, darling, if your character hasn't been completely built, furnished and rented by this time, I don't know. 03:16.800 --> 03:20.800 Ah, now today is officially started. I'll get it. 03:20.800 --> 03:22.800 Hello, Dr. Hall speaking. 03:22.800 --> 03:25.800 Spencer, Thomas Spencer. 03:25.800 --> 03:29.800 Well, I'll be busy until sometime late this afternoon. What about tomorrow? 03:29.800 --> 03:33.800 Oh, well, if it's really urgent, come over about 4.30 then. 03:33.800 --> 03:35.800 Not at all. Goodbye. 03:35.800 --> 03:38.800 Vicki, do you know a student named Thomas Spencer? 03:38.800 --> 03:40.800 Thomas Spencer? No. I don't. 03:40.800 --> 03:43.800 Well, according to him, he knows I'm busy, but he has to see me. 03:43.800 --> 03:46.800 Naturally. A matter of life and death. 03:46.800 --> 03:49.800 He didn't say it, but that was the implication. 03:49.800 --> 03:51.800 Now, where was I? 03:51.800 --> 03:52.800 When? 03:52.800 --> 03:59.800 Well, I must have been saying something. I usually am, given a three second break in anyone's conversation. 03:59.800 --> 04:07.800 Well, now, let me think about it. Oh, yes. During your second waffle at breakfast, you said something about something being yummy. 04:07.800 --> 04:09.800 Well, I think you said yummy. 04:09.800 --> 04:18.800 I? I said yummy. William T. Hall, PhD, LLD said yummy. 04:18.800 --> 04:19.800 Are you sure it was yummy? 04:19.800 --> 04:23.800 No, it could have been dummy or tummy or mummy. 04:23.800 --> 04:26.800 Oh, oh, mummy. Yes, yes, of course, mummy. 04:26.800 --> 04:27.800 Of course what, Pappy? 04:27.800 --> 04:36.800 Ah, no. Not mummy in the maternal sense. Mummy in the Egyptological sense. Ours is missing. 04:36.800 --> 04:43.800 Ah, mummy. I didn't even know we had one. I must go through that back closet again someday and see what's going on there. 04:43.800 --> 04:53.800 No, darling, I'll explain. Ivey's museum has or had a replica of a mummy. Queen Hatshepsut of Egypt's 18th dynasty. 04:53.800 --> 04:55.800 And from the looks of them, most of them did. 04:55.800 --> 04:56.800 Did what? 04:56.800 --> 04:57.800 The ancient dynasty. 04:57.800 --> 05:01.800 Oh, please. 05:01.800 --> 05:06.800 Oh, please. 05:06.800 --> 05:10.800 You know, my dear, demortuous nil-nice-eye facetious. 05:10.800 --> 05:19.800 Anyway, our mummy has disappeared. I doubt if it was mislaid because Queen Hatshepsut was a large girl. 05:19.800 --> 05:22.800 Well, how about fearless officer Grogan? Has he broken out the bloodhounds? 05:22.800 --> 05:26.800 Or is it too late for bloodhounds when you're 3,000 years old? 05:26.800 --> 05:29.800 Well, Grogan agrees with me that it's probably a student prank. 05:29.800 --> 05:35.800 He thinks that Hatshepsut will be lined up with the others at graduation to receive a diploma. 05:35.800 --> 05:41.800 Let's see. Alphabetically, then, she'd be standing between Bones Harvey and Pookie Howser. 05:41.800 --> 05:49.800 That narrows it down, doesn't it? At least the old girl will graduate mummy cum laude. 05:49.800 --> 05:55.800 Yes, and probably be elected the girl most likely not to talk while dancing. 05:55.800 --> 06:00.800 You know, darling, I sort of admire the nerve of the undergraduates. 06:00.800 --> 06:05.800 The idea of stealing a mummy just for the fun of it. 06:05.800 --> 06:09.800 Well, I admire their energy and even impudence up to a point. 06:09.800 --> 06:27.800 But my appreciation ends with such moronic activities as dropping water-filled paper bags on the heads of passes by. 06:27.800 --> 06:30.800 William, Tommy Spencer's here to see you. 06:30.800 --> 06:32.800 Ah, yes. How do you do? Come in and sit down, Tommy. 06:32.800 --> 06:33.800 Yes, sir. 06:33.800 --> 06:40.800 I must commend your punctuality. It's exactly 4.30. But you sounded very anxious to see me. 06:40.800 --> 06:41.800 Yes, sir, I was. 06:41.800 --> 06:47.800 Wait, you want me to disappear while you discuss this with Dr. Hall, Tommy? I have a new jar of vanishing cream upstairs I can use. 06:47.800 --> 06:49.800 Oh, no, ma'am. 06:49.800 --> 06:53.800 I don't seem to recall, Tommy. What year are you in? 06:53.800 --> 06:54.800 Freshman, sir. 06:54.800 --> 07:02.800 I see. A freshman. Hmm? Well, did your faculty advisor suggest you come to me with your problem? 07:02.800 --> 07:04.800 No, sir. It was my own idea. 07:04.800 --> 07:10.800 Well, it's nice to finally have an opportunity to meet you, even though it took a problem to bring you here. 07:10.800 --> 07:11.800 Thank you, ma'am. 07:11.800 --> 07:16.800 Problem? Ah, yes. Well, Tommy? 07:16.800 --> 07:18.800 I beg your pardon? 07:18.800 --> 07:22.800 You do have a problem, don't you? 07:22.800 --> 07:24.800 Yes, ma'am. 07:24.800 --> 07:29.800 Yes, well, we'll leave that for the moment. 07:29.800 --> 07:32.800 Tell me, is Ivy living up to your expectations? 07:32.800 --> 07:34.800 Oh, sure. Ivy's fine. 07:34.800 --> 07:40.800 Only there's so much work piled on your head that you're wondering if you'll ever make the grade and get to be a sophomore. Is that it? 07:40.800 --> 07:42.800 Oh, I think my grades are all right. 07:42.800 --> 07:45.800 Oh, they're all right. 07:45.800 --> 07:47.800 What are you majoring in? 07:47.800 --> 07:52.800 Public speaking. 07:52.800 --> 07:58.800 I'm sorry. We do not have a larger public present. What is your minor? 07:58.800 --> 07:59.800 English, sir. 07:59.800 --> 08:09.800 Well, it's nice to know English if you're going to do any public speaking. You don't have to use colored slides. 08:09.800 --> 08:12.800 Do you intend to specialize in any particular period? 08:12.800 --> 08:15.800 Not that I know of, sir. 08:15.800 --> 08:23.800 Naturally. But the first year is more or less exploratory. In my own case, I thought I'd be most interested in the history of the English novel. 08:23.800 --> 08:29.800 But much to my surprise, I found a powerful attraction for Chaucer. 08:29.800 --> 08:32.800 Oh, and you find Chaucer amusing too, Tommy, huh? 08:32.800 --> 08:38.800 No, ma'am. I don't know Chaucer yet. 08:38.800 --> 08:44.800 Well, when you do, I'm sure you'll find him as rewarding as I did. He is as modern as any current bestseller. 08:44.800 --> 08:49.800 In fact, the pilgrims of Canterbury are as alive today as they were during the fort... 08:49.800 --> 08:53.800 Yes, but of course you didn't come here to talk about Chaucer, did you? 08:53.800 --> 08:55.800 No, sir. I didn't. 08:55.800 --> 09:05.800 Yes. Well, to come back to you, Tommy, tell us some more about yourself. Are you living with your family here at Ivy or are you from out of town? 09:05.800 --> 09:07.800 Oh, I'm... I'm from out of town. 09:07.800 --> 09:11.800 Well, it may seem harder that way at first, breaking our old ties and things like that. 09:11.800 --> 09:19.800 Yes, breaking away and being on one's own is an inevitable part of everyone's education, Tommy, but the process of adjustment is never easy, is it? 09:19.800 --> 09:21.800 I guess not, sir. 09:21.800 --> 09:26.800 It's a matter of learning how to accommodate oneself to a new environment and to make independent decisions. 09:26.800 --> 09:31.800 Yes, sir. Well, I guess I'd better go now and... 09:31.800 --> 09:33.800 Thanks a lot. 09:33.800 --> 09:34.800 For what? 09:34.800 --> 09:35.800 For seeing me. 09:35.800 --> 09:42.800 Well, are you sure there isn't something more you wanted to talk about or have we covered the subject thoroughly enough? 09:42.800 --> 09:44.800 Yes, sir, we have. 09:44.800 --> 09:49.800 Well, it's been very nice to meet you, Tommy. I hope you'll drop by again soon for another chat. 09:49.800 --> 09:51.800 Yes, ma'am, I will. Bye, Dr. Owen. 09:51.800 --> 09:52.800 Goodbye. 09:52.800 --> 09:53.800 Thanks for everything. 09:53.800 --> 09:54.800 Goodbye. 09:54.800 --> 09:55.800 Goodbye, Tommy. 09:55.800 --> 09:58.800 Well, what was that? 09:58.800 --> 10:05.800 Well, that, my darling, was a freshman to whom the ordinary rules of human logic do not apply too closely. 10:05.800 --> 10:12.800 To think of him as a public speaker opens up new vistas of quiet oratory. 10:12.800 --> 10:19.800 He's probably heard the old saying, better keep quiet and be thought a fool and start talking and prove it. 10:19.800 --> 10:23.800 Would you suppose he was so nervous he just couldn't find words? 10:23.800 --> 10:28.800 Well, he may have found them, but he obviously decided against using them. 10:38.800 --> 10:41.800 Ah, well, I think I'm going to turn in, Vicky. 10:41.800 --> 10:45.800 Oh, you do, darling. I'll finish my book in bed. 10:45.800 --> 10:52.800 I'm very doubtful it'll put me right to sleep. Incidentally, what a wonderful publishing idea. The Yawn of the Month Club. 10:52.800 --> 10:54.800 Do you want a sandwich or something? 10:54.800 --> 10:59.800 No, no, no, no, dear. I had an excellent dinner. No, no, I couldn't touch a thing. 10:59.800 --> 11:01.800 There's some nice cold ham. 11:01.800 --> 11:03.800 No, no, no, no, I really couldn't. Oh, no. 11:03.800 --> 11:05.800 Some cold roast chicken, too. 11:05.800 --> 11:08.800 No, no, no. There is? 11:08.800 --> 11:09.800 Mmm. 11:09.800 --> 11:17.800 Mmm. Ham and chicken. After all, that'll make a splendid sandwich. Just a tiny one, of course. 11:17.800 --> 11:22.800 Perhaps just a sliver of cheese. And not too much pickle. 11:22.800 --> 11:27.800 Oh, oh, and we mustn't forget the mayonnaise, must we, dear? Now, how about a... 11:27.800 --> 11:29.800 Half a cold cherry pie, too. 11:29.800 --> 11:31.800 Is there really? 11:31.800 --> 11:32.800 Mmm. 11:32.800 --> 11:33.800 Well, perhaps I might have... 11:33.800 --> 11:38.800 Oh, I'm sorry, Dagwood, old boy. Your tiny little four-pound sandwich will have to wait. 11:38.800 --> 11:40.800 I wonder who this could be. 11:40.800 --> 11:43.800 I don't know, but let's get rid of him quickly. I'm starving. Say, here, I'll find a... 11:43.800 --> 11:49.800 No, no, I'm coming with you, me being a curious type. Besides, I can discourage whoever it is. 11:49.800 --> 11:54.800 Mmm. Nobody to discourage. 11:54.800 --> 11:58.800 Well, it's funny. It's not Halloween, so... 11:58.800 --> 12:03.800 Well, it may not be Halloween, but we do have an unbidden guest. Or is it Ghost? 12:03.800 --> 12:04.800 Where? 12:04.800 --> 12:05.800 Standing up right over there. 12:05.800 --> 12:08.800 Where? Oh! What's that? 12:08.800 --> 12:14.800 There's nobody. Just Queen Hatshepsut all wrapped up in her sarcophagus. 12:14.800 --> 12:18.800 You mean Mommy's come home? 12:18.800 --> 12:24.800 And just wait a minute. There's a note attached to us. Let me get back in the light here. 12:24.800 --> 12:50.800 Vicki, Vicki, listen to this. Dr. Hall, I got her out all right, but I can't get her back in. Health! 12:50.800 --> 13:03.800 The Voice of America is bringing you this rebroadcast presentation of The Halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. 13:03.800 --> 13:12.800 And now to return to The Halls of Ivy. It's the next morning, and Dr. and Mrs. Hall are discussing the problem of the stolen mummy which was left on their doorstep the night before. 13:12.800 --> 13:21.800 Well, darling, I don't mind your keeping Hatshepsut here for a couple of days if you think we can spare Louisa. She's locked herself up in her room and she won't come out. 13:21.800 --> 13:25.800 But Vicki, didn't you explain that this wasn't a real mummy, just a facsimile? 13:25.800 --> 13:34.800 Unfortunately, I used that very word, facsimile. And Louisa said, I don't care how it facsimile, it scares me half to death. 13:34.800 --> 13:35.800 Vicki, she didn't. 13:35.800 --> 13:45.800 Well, you must ask her, ask her yourself, through the keyhole. I don't think she'll open the door. But tell me, why are we keeping the mummy? Not that she wouldn't be the neatest weekend guest we've ever had. 13:45.800 --> 14:00.800 Well, this is in the nature of a delaying action. You see, Vicki, if I were to comply with this desperate plea for help and return Hatshepsut now, the incident would be closed and quickly forgotten. But that might be an invitation for repetition. And one mummy on my doorstep is quite enough. 14:00.800 --> 14:06.800 Toddy, I just had a thought. Do you remember that boy who was here to see you yesterday? 14:06.800 --> 14:08.800 Oh, Tommy Spencer, yes. 14:08.800 --> 14:18.800 Yes, well maybe that's what he came for. Maybe he had some information. Maybe he knew who took the mummy and at the last minute decided not to tattle. Maybe he... 14:18.800 --> 14:22.800 Maybe that's maybe now. Don't get up, Vicki, Louisa will answer it. 14:22.800 --> 14:24.800 Not today, she won't. I'll get it myself. 14:24.800 --> 14:27.800 Perhaps I'd better have a talk with Louisa, even if it's only... 14:27.800 --> 14:28.800 Mrs. Hall? 14:28.800 --> 14:30.800 Yes? 14:30.800 --> 14:31.800 I'm Lynn Gordon. 14:31.800 --> 14:35.800 Oh, yes, I remember you, Lynn. You had a part in the freshman play, didn't you? 14:35.800 --> 14:40.800 Well, a very small one. Mrs. Hall, I wonder, is there a chance that Dr. Hall could see me? 14:40.800 --> 14:43.800 Oh, I think so. I'll use my influence. Come on in. 14:43.800 --> 14:46.800 Thank you. I'll just stay a moment. 14:46.800 --> 14:50.800 William, this is Lynn Gordon, one of our talented freshmen. 14:50.800 --> 14:52.800 Hello, Ms. Gordon. Come in, sit down. 14:52.800 --> 14:57.800 Thank you, Dr. Hall. If you're busy, I can come back later, but it's about the mummy. 14:57.800 --> 15:01.800 Oh, well, in that case, Ms. Gordon, we have plenty of time. 15:01.800 --> 15:04.800 What are a few minutes more to a mummy? 15:04.800 --> 15:06.800 Don't tell me you took it, Lynn. 15:06.800 --> 15:09.800 Oh, no, Mrs. Hall, but I... 15:09.800 --> 15:11.800 But you know who did. 15:11.800 --> 15:18.800 Yes, sir, I do. But unless you insist, Dr. Hall, I'd rather not tell you the name. I hate tail-bearing. 15:18.800 --> 15:23.800 This is not an inquisition, Ms. Gordon. You voluntarily came here to tell me something, 15:23.800 --> 15:27.800 so why don't you just tell me what you came here to tell me? 15:27.800 --> 15:30.800 Well, Dr. Hall, I know he's bound to get caught sooner or later, 15:30.800 --> 15:34.800 and I wanted to tell you some things about him so you won't be too harsh with him. 15:34.800 --> 15:37.800 And is he aware of your sympathy and understanding? 15:37.800 --> 15:40.800 Oh, no, Mrs. Hall, we're not close friends. 15:40.800 --> 15:48.800 I've spoken to him lots of times, but usually he just says yes and no and walks away, almost like he was scared. 15:48.800 --> 15:51.800 He's not the type to go around plundering museums, hm? 15:51.800 --> 15:57.800 Well, that's just it. That's why I was so shocked when I saw him lugging that big box up the steps to his dorm. 15:57.800 --> 16:02.800 I just couldn't believe it. Dr. Hall, something's happened to that boy. 16:02.800 --> 16:07.800 He's been as quiet as a mouse all year, that is, until the last few days, 16:07.800 --> 16:10.800 and suddenly he started doing the strangest things. 16:10.800 --> 16:15.800 Oh, I don't know what's so strange about stealing a mummy. It's perfectly normal student conduct. 16:15.800 --> 16:20.800 Well, it's not normal for him. He's a good student, but the silent kind. 16:20.800 --> 16:22.800 Do you know what I mean? 16:22.800 --> 16:27.800 Oh, yes, I think I do. As a matter of fact, I was somewhat quiet myself as a student. 16:27.800 --> 16:34.800 Wrote fairly good paper. I don't know, it seemed to lose my tongue when called upon to speak in class. 16:34.800 --> 16:36.800 I was known as William the Silent. 16:36.800 --> 16:40.800 A likely story, I must say. 16:40.800 --> 16:43.800 But, Lynn, what is so strange about this young man's being quiet? 16:43.800 --> 16:49.800 Well, no, he isn't. The other day when our history professor asked him a question about the French Revolution, 16:49.800 --> 16:53.800 he suddenly jumped up and gave a ten-minute speech, all in French. 16:53.800 --> 16:55.800 C'est formidable! 16:55.800 --> 16:58.800 And then, well, last Saturday there was a big gang in the malt shop, 16:58.800 --> 17:02.800 and all of a sudden he got up on a stool and said the drinks were on him. 17:02.800 --> 17:06.800 Well, he paid for everybody in the place. When we tried to thank him, he ducked out. 17:06.800 --> 17:10.800 I like him better by the minute. He's eccentric in the right places. 17:10.800 --> 17:13.800 If you consider our museum one of the right places. 17:13.800 --> 17:16.800 Well, I know it sounds like nonsense. 17:16.800 --> 17:19.800 Yes, but with a bit of sense in it, perhaps. 17:19.800 --> 17:24.800 A boy who has apparently been under constraint all the year suddenly bursts into flower, so to speak. 17:24.800 --> 17:29.800 Yes, and it's too bad Blossom Boy doesn't know what a good friend he has in you, Lynn. 17:29.800 --> 17:34.800 Oh, but, Mrs. Hall, Tommy doesn't... Oh, dear, now I've done it. 17:34.800 --> 17:39.800 Oh, you haven't done anything but good, Lynn, and don't worry about revealing your friend's identity. 17:39.800 --> 17:41.800 As a matter of fact, Tommy Spencer came to see us yesterday. 17:41.800 --> 17:43.800 He did? 17:43.800 --> 17:48.800 Yes, and we're going to invite him for another visit. And this time I think he'll talk. 17:48.800 --> 17:53.800 We'll make knowledge history by giving him a third degree before he has the first two. 18:03.800 --> 18:05.800 Well, sit down, Tommy. 18:05.800 --> 18:10.800 I believe you've met our friend over there, Tommy, Queen Hatshepsut, haven't you? 18:10.800 --> 18:11.800 Yes, sir. 18:11.800 --> 18:17.800 And am I correct in assuming that the problem you came to discuss with me yesterday had some connection with this mummy? 18:17.800 --> 18:19.800 Yes, sir. 18:19.800 --> 18:25.800 And in the course of our rather one-sided conversation, did you decide that instead of discussing the matter, 18:25.800 --> 18:28.800 it would be simpler just to leave the whole thing in my lap? 18:28.800 --> 18:30.800 Well, Dr. Hall, I didn't think... 18:30.800 --> 18:35.800 No, Tommy, you didn't think, or you wouldn't have taken the mummy in the first place. 18:35.800 --> 18:37.800 Oh, but I thought that all out. 18:37.800 --> 18:41.800 Well, I bet it took some smart thinking to work out this mummy napping. 18:41.800 --> 18:48.800 Yes, you displayed some ingenuity in walking out of the Ivy Museum with the sarcophagus up your sleeve. 18:48.800 --> 18:50.800 Wasn't there a watchman on duty? 18:50.800 --> 18:56.800 Yes, sir, but he was busy keeping an eye on things that sensible people might steal. 18:56.800 --> 19:02.800 Well, I won't pry into your professional secrets, Tommy, but could you tell us why you took it? 19:02.800 --> 19:08.800 Well, it's kind of involved. I guess it began three or four weeks ago during the rushing season. 19:08.800 --> 19:11.800 Has this something to do with your being a fraternity pledge? 19:11.800 --> 19:17.800 No, sir. It has something to do with my not being a fraternity pledge. I mean, nobody asked me. 19:17.800 --> 19:24.800 And when I saw all the terrific things that made the pledges due, I figured the reason nobody asked me was because nobody figured I could do them. 19:24.800 --> 19:26.800 Of course you could. 19:26.800 --> 19:28.800 Thank you. 19:28.800 --> 19:35.800 So I looked around to find something that would prove to the fellows that I could, and I did. 19:35.800 --> 19:42.800 Only when I got that darned Egyptian coffin into my room and took a good look at it, it didn't seem to be so great after all. 19:42.800 --> 19:47.800 And then I wanted to take it back, only that wasn't so easy because now everybody was looking for it. 19:47.800 --> 19:49.800 Oh, yes, you were really in a spot. 19:49.800 --> 19:56.800 Yes, ma'am. What's the matter with me, Dr. Hall? Why would I do a thing like that? 19:56.800 --> 20:02.800 Well, Tommy, you've given us an answer yourself, but I imagine there's more to it than that. 20:02.800 --> 20:03.800 Yes, sir. 20:03.800 --> 20:08.800 You wanted to be part of things on the campus to get attention, didn't you? 20:08.800 --> 20:09.800 I guess so. 20:09.800 --> 20:13.800 There's nothing wrong with that, Tommy, except that you picked an odd way to go about it. 20:13.800 --> 20:21.800 And being a quiet boy, or at least reserved by nature, you stored up so much to say and do that the reservoir suddenly burst. 20:21.800 --> 20:26.800 Your safety valve was tied down all this time when the spring broke. 20:26.800 --> 20:28.800 Look where it got me. 20:28.800 --> 20:35.800 Tommy, a great many people confuse attention with admiration, conspicuousness with success. 20:35.800 --> 20:41.800 They think a stunt is an achievement and misbehavior a declaration of independence. 20:41.800 --> 20:46.800 Yes, I think I see. Dr. Hall, I think you're right, sir. 20:46.800 --> 20:47.800 Thank you, Tommy. 20:47.800 --> 20:52.800 Oh, no. Thank you, Dr. Hall. Well, it's getting kind of late, and I guess I'd better... 20:52.800 --> 20:57.800 Just a minute. If you're going, I'd like you to escort a lady home on your way. 20:57.800 --> 20:58.800 Certainly, sir. 20:58.800 --> 21:01.800 Yes, she's a real campus queen, Tommy. Hatshepsut. 21:01.800 --> 21:04.800 Oh, her? I mean it? 21:04.800 --> 21:12.800 Yes, you will have the privilege of conveying Queen Hatshepsut and her sarcophagus back to the Ivy Museum. 21:12.800 --> 21:15.800 Now? In broad daylight? 21:15.800 --> 21:19.800 Well, as your good friend and mine Shakespeare said, 21:19.800 --> 21:24.800 foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun. It shines everywhere. 21:24.800 --> 21:29.800 But with everybody looking at me? Dr. Hall, I'll never make it. He'll kill me. 21:29.800 --> 21:32.800 And then if they've broken the cup, he'll shoot me on sight. 21:32.800 --> 21:37.800 Oh, no. I'm sure Dr. Hall will give you a safe conduct, fast, Tommy. 21:37.800 --> 21:44.800 Well, all right, but look, suppose somebody asked me what... I mean, how do I explain? 21:44.800 --> 21:45.800 You don't. 21:45.800 --> 21:46.800 Sir? 21:46.800 --> 21:49.800 As long as you have embarked upon a career of personal exploitation, Tommy, 21:49.800 --> 21:54.800 you might as well use the well-tried public relations method of mystery. 21:54.800 --> 21:58.800 Exploitation uses the technique of the floating iceberg. 21:58.800 --> 22:02.800 Eight-ninths of it is underwater. The public sees only the visible ninths. 22:02.800 --> 22:04.800 Yes, sir, but what if... 22:04.800 --> 22:10.800 So you explain nothing to anybody. Just smile enigmatically and shake your head. 22:10.800 --> 22:14.800 Mona Lisa in Grey Slacks. 22:14.800 --> 22:17.800 See, Tommy, nobody will know you stole the mummy, 22:17.800 --> 22:21.800 and they might even give you credit for clever detective work in finding it. 22:21.800 --> 22:26.800 You'll be a big man on campus, a BMOC. 22:26.800 --> 22:31.800 Just as Queen Hudget, so it was a big girl BC. 22:31.800 --> 22:38.800 Golly, this is a new idea to me, sir. If I don't explain, I get talked about for something I'm not doing. 22:38.800 --> 22:44.800 You'll think I'm a nut. 22:44.800 --> 22:49.800 Well, pay no attention to the old claim that it's the squeaking wheel that gets the grease. 22:49.800 --> 22:52.800 Just remember that it's the well-oiled machine that gets where it's going. 22:52.800 --> 22:56.800 And the difference between the squeaky wheel and the well-oiled machine is simply 22:56.800 --> 23:01.800 that when care of the axle is exercised beforehand, it won't be necessary to remove the nut. 23:01.800 --> 23:18.800 Yes, sir. 23:18.800 --> 23:20.800 Now, here again, our Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Colton. 23:20.800 --> 23:21.800 Good night, everyone. 23:21.800 --> 23:22.800 Good night from all of us. 23:22.800 --> 23:29.800 Good night. 23:29.800 --> 23:34.800 We'll be seeing you next week at the same time at the Halls of Ivy starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Colton. 23:34.800 --> 23:38.800 Tommy Spencer was played by Joseph Carbone and Lynn was Sammy Hill. 23:38.800 --> 23:41.800 Tonight's script was written by Barbara and Milton Merlin and Don Quinn. 23:41.800 --> 23:46.800 Music composed and conducted by Henry Russell. Ken Carpenter speaking. 23:46.800 --> 24:02.800 Oh, we love the Halls of Ivy that surround us here today. 24:02.800 --> 24:08.800 This production of the Halls of Ivy was broadcast with an actual audience present in the studio. 24:08.800 --> 24:26.800 We'll be far, far away to the hallowed Halls of Ivy. 24:26.800 --> 24:49.800 Every voice will bid farewell and shimmer off in twilight like the old Vesperbless. 24:56.800 --> 24:58.800 We'll be far, far away to the hallowed Halls of Ivy.