WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:07.000 I married Joan, what a girl, what a world, what a life. 00:07.000 --> 00:14.000 Oh, I married Joan, what a mind, love is blind, what a wife. 00:14.000 --> 00:22.000 Dee and gay all day, she keeps my heart laughing, never know where her brain is going. 00:22.000 --> 00:30.000 Dee and gay all day, she keeps my heart laughing, never know where her brain is going. 00:30.000 --> 00:36.000 To each his own, can he deny that's why I married Joan. 00:36.000 --> 00:43.000 The Joan Davis Show, I Married Joan, America's favorite comedy show. 00:43.000 --> 00:56.000 Starring America's Queen of Comedy, Joan Davis as Mrs. Joan Stevens. 00:56.000 --> 01:07.000 And featuring Jim Backus as Judge Bradley Stevens. 01:07.000 --> 01:13.000 I married Joan. 01:23.000 --> 01:26.000 Oh Brad, I can hardly believe we're home. 01:26.000 --> 01:29.000 You're right, we both look like we're still in a wire. 01:29.000 --> 01:31.000 Hello Clara. 01:31.000 --> 01:32.000 Hello Joan. 01:32.000 --> 01:33.000 We're back. 01:33.000 --> 01:35.000 I'm glad to see you. 01:35.000 --> 01:37.000 Where were you? 01:37.000 --> 01:40.000 We were, I'll tell you tomorrow. 01:40.000 --> 01:42.000 Where were we? 01:42.000 --> 01:45.000 Where did we go? 01:45.000 --> 01:47.000 I think we were Alaska. 01:47.000 --> 01:49.000 I know. 01:52.000 --> 01:57.000 We, oh Brad, Brad. 01:57.000 --> 01:59.000 I'll get you. 01:59.000 --> 02:01.000 Here. 02:02.000 --> 02:05.000 Oh thanks, you saved my life you wonderful man. 02:05.000 --> 02:07.000 Well think nothing of it dear. 02:07.000 --> 02:09.000 Boy it's great getting home isn't it? 02:09.000 --> 02:16.000 Oh it sure is, like I always say the best part of a vacation is coming home so you can get a good rest. 02:16.000 --> 02:20.000 Well, we've got a lot of unpacking to do. 02:20.000 --> 02:22.000 Might as well get at it. 02:22.000 --> 02:24.000 Okay. 02:24.000 --> 02:28.000 Oh boy. 02:32.000 --> 02:35.000 Oh, did you miss us you poor thing? 02:35.000 --> 02:38.000 Nobody sat in you for two whole weeks. 02:40.000 --> 02:42.000 That feel better? 02:42.000 --> 02:43.000 Joan? 02:43.000 --> 02:45.000 Coming Brad. 02:47.000 --> 02:50.000 Oh Brad, you turned the radio on, the music sounds good. 02:50.000 --> 02:52.000 It's been sounding good for two weeks. 02:52.000 --> 02:54.000 Brad, you're not making sense. 02:54.000 --> 02:58.000 Oh, I forgot to turn it off when we left. 02:58.000 --> 03:00.000 I remember I was waiting to hear the weather report. 03:00.000 --> 03:03.000 Should I pack my snuggies, shouldn't I pack my snuggies? 03:03.000 --> 03:06.000 Joan, this radio has been playing in this empty house for two weeks. 03:06.000 --> 03:08.000 Oh the poor thing. 03:08.000 --> 03:10.000 And now stand by for the local weather report. 03:10.000 --> 03:12.000 Now he tells me. 03:12.000 --> 03:15.000 Well should I pack my snuggies or shouldn't I? 03:15.000 --> 03:17.000 There'll be local frost in the valley and... 03:17.000 --> 03:19.000 Joan, I don't... 03:19.000 --> 03:21.000 Oh Brad, please don't be angry. 03:21.000 --> 03:24.000 Well all right dear, say I'm hungry, how about something to eat? 03:24.000 --> 03:27.000 Sure dear, I'll fix you a sandwich, we can have that later. 03:27.000 --> 03:30.000 Oh boy, no you remember. 03:30.000 --> 03:34.000 Oh, Wicca King. 03:39.000 --> 03:41.000 Say, let's make this a real spread, huh? 03:41.000 --> 03:45.000 Oh sure dear, it isn't every day that we get home from the Hawaiian Islands. 03:45.000 --> 03:48.000 If you are, let's do things right, I'll get a pie from the freezer. 03:48.000 --> 03:53.000 Oh Wicca King, oh, how we go. 03:53.000 --> 03:55.000 And the... 03:55.000 --> 03:57.000 What's wrong dear? 03:57.000 --> 04:02.000 Joan, when we left on our vacation two weeks ago, you said you'd lock the back door. 04:02.000 --> 04:03.000 Yes I did. 04:03.000 --> 04:05.000 It isn't locked. 04:05.000 --> 04:06.000 I'll go lock it. 04:06.000 --> 04:10.000 No dear, that isn't necessary Joan, we're home now. 04:10.000 --> 04:12.000 Well I can't understand it, I distinctly remember... 04:12.000 --> 04:14.000 Yes? 04:14.000 --> 04:15.000 Not locking the door. 04:15.000 --> 04:17.000 Is there anything else that you've forgotten? 04:17.000 --> 04:20.000 No dear, I took care of everything else. 04:20.000 --> 04:21.000 You sure? 04:21.000 --> 04:22.000 I'm positive. 04:22.000 --> 04:24.000 Alright dear. 04:27.000 --> 04:28.000 Hello? 04:28.000 --> 04:31.000 Oh hello Vi, did you get my card? 04:31.000 --> 04:33.000 Yes, we just got in. 04:33.000 --> 04:36.000 Oh we had a wonderful time in Hawaii. 04:36.000 --> 04:39.000 Hawaii, you would have just loved it. 04:39.000 --> 04:41.000 Everything there is so Hawaiian. 04:41.000 --> 04:43.000 Hawaiian? 04:43.000 --> 04:47.000 Oh I'm telling you, we had a great time in Hawaii. 04:47.000 --> 04:52.000 Yes, it was a beautiful time of the year. 04:52.000 --> 04:55.000 Oh, and the people are so friendly. 04:55.000 --> 04:58.000 I think everybody should make that trip. 04:58.000 --> 05:00.000 Yes, what? 05:00.000 --> 05:02.000 Bridge tonight with the girls? 05:02.000 --> 05:05.000 Oh I couldn't do that and leave Brad the first night home. 05:05.000 --> 05:07.000 Listen, I got a better idea. 05:07.000 --> 05:11.000 We took a lot of 16mm film the first few days we were over there. 05:11.000 --> 05:13.000 And we sent them home to be developed. 05:13.000 --> 05:15.000 I'm sure they're in the mailbox right now. 05:15.000 --> 05:18.000 And I'd like you and the girls to come over here instead. 05:18.000 --> 05:20.000 Would you? 05:20.000 --> 05:23.000 Listen, will you see some of these shots? 05:25.000 --> 05:28.000 Come over here tonight to see the movies, huh? 05:28.000 --> 05:29.000 Bye, thanks. 05:29.000 --> 05:31.000 Goodbye, bye. 05:35.000 --> 05:37.000 Guess what? 05:37.000 --> 05:40.000 You forgot to tell the milkman to stop the milk. 05:40.000 --> 05:43.000 How do you like that? They're one quart short. 05:43.000 --> 05:46.000 Joan, I... 05:46.000 --> 05:48.000 I'm going to get the mail. 05:52.000 --> 05:55.000 You know, I didn't even open that bag. 05:55.000 --> 05:57.000 It was some warm clothes I took along. 05:57.000 --> 06:00.000 But the weather was so wonderful, I didn't even have to unpack it. 06:00.000 --> 06:02.000 Well, you'll have plenty of chance to use these things here. 06:02.000 --> 06:05.000 Don't let the Chamber of Commerce hear you say that. 06:05.000 --> 06:08.000 Well, here's the mail. 06:08.000 --> 06:10.000 Bills, bills, bills. Letter from your father. 06:10.000 --> 06:12.000 That's the same as a bill. 06:12.000 --> 06:15.000 And oh, yes, yes, here are the movies that we made in Hawaii. 06:15.000 --> 06:17.000 Oh, good, I knew they'd be here. 06:17.000 --> 06:20.000 I'm going to have the girls over tonight to see these movies. 06:20.000 --> 06:23.000 I'll do a real good job of cleaning the house. 06:23.000 --> 06:26.000 I can understand it. It should be here. 06:26.000 --> 06:27.000 What's that, Dad? 06:27.000 --> 06:30.000 An answer to an opinion I gave on the Brighton case. 06:30.000 --> 06:31.000 Brighton case? 06:31.000 --> 06:33.000 Well, yes, you remember. You didn't agree with my opinion. 06:33.000 --> 06:35.000 You thought Brighton was innocent. 06:35.000 --> 06:36.000 I don't quite recall. 06:36.000 --> 06:39.000 Well, of course you remember, dear. We had quite an argument. 06:39.000 --> 06:43.000 You told me I was wrong up until the time I gave you the opinion to mail for me. 06:43.000 --> 06:44.000 I did? 06:44.000 --> 06:45.000 Well, sure. Don't you remember mailing it? 06:45.000 --> 06:48.000 It was in a manila envelope about so big. 06:48.000 --> 06:50.000 Well, of course I mailed it. 06:50.000 --> 06:52.000 If I said I did it, I did it. 06:52.000 --> 06:57.000 After all, I wouldn't forget anything as important as... 06:57.000 --> 07:00.000 How big did you say that envelope was, Daddy? 07:00.000 --> 07:02.000 About that big. 07:02.000 --> 07:06.000 About that... 07:08.000 --> 07:12.000 Joan, Joan, what is this? 07:12.000 --> 07:13.000 What's what? 07:13.000 --> 07:14.000 Joan... 07:14.000 --> 07:17.000 Now, Brad, dear, I know exactly what you're going to say, 07:17.000 --> 07:18.000 and I couldn't agree with you more. 07:18.000 --> 07:21.000 You're absolutely right. It was stupid of me. 07:21.000 --> 07:24.000 I should have mailed it, but I forgot. 07:24.000 --> 07:26.000 I don't think you forgot at all. 07:26.000 --> 07:29.000 You see, I should have taken it immediately, and then I... 07:29.000 --> 07:30.000 What? 07:30.000 --> 07:32.000 I think you deliberately didn't mail it. 07:32.000 --> 07:35.000 Oh, Brad, how can you say that? 07:35.000 --> 07:37.000 Because you didn't agree with my opinion on the Brighton case. 07:37.000 --> 07:39.000 You were against me all along. 07:39.000 --> 07:40.000 Yes, dear, but I wouldn't do... 07:40.000 --> 07:42.000 Look, dear, I can put up with a lot of things, 07:42.000 --> 07:44.000 but when you deliberately interfere with my work... 07:44.000 --> 07:48.000 No, Brad, I didn't do it deliberately. I simply forgot. 07:48.000 --> 07:52.000 Oh, Joan, don't make me laugh. 07:52.000 --> 07:53.000 Hi, Brad, where are you going? 07:53.000 --> 07:55.000 I am going to stay at my club. 07:55.000 --> 07:56.000 For how long? 07:56.000 --> 07:58.000 I don't know. 07:58.000 --> 08:01.000 Oh, Mrs. Stevens, don't worry. 08:01.000 --> 08:03.000 The judge is pretty hot right now, 08:03.000 --> 08:06.000 but he'll come back when he cools off. Just wait. 08:06.000 --> 08:11.000 But I don't want to wait. He's my Brad, and hot or cold, I want him now. 08:11.000 --> 08:12.000 Brad? 08:12.000 --> 08:14.000 I hate to suggest this, 08:14.000 --> 08:16.000 but maybe you want to swallow your pride 08:16.000 --> 08:18.000 and call the judge up at the club. 08:18.000 --> 08:20.000 Me? Call Brad? 08:20.000 --> 08:22.000 Seems sensible. 08:22.000 --> 08:24.000 You mean I should call him and ask him to come home? 08:24.000 --> 08:26.000 Plead with him? Beg him? 08:26.000 --> 08:29.000 Even though I know I'm right and he's wrong? 08:29.000 --> 08:31.000 Mm-hmm. Nothing doing. 08:31.000 --> 08:34.000 Besides, I just tried it, and it didn't work. 08:34.000 --> 08:36.000 Well, I'd better get that movie thing out, 08:36.000 --> 08:38.000 if the girls are coming over. 08:38.000 --> 08:39.000 Thanks, Frida. 08:39.000 --> 08:41.000 I'll try to think of something to tell them. 08:41.000 --> 08:45.000 Frida, maybe that's Brad now. 08:45.000 --> 08:48.000 Maybe he's called up to apologize. 08:48.000 --> 08:50.000 Wouldn't that be wonderful? 08:50.000 --> 08:53.000 My troubles are over with the girls now. 08:53.000 --> 08:55.000 Want me to answer the phone? 08:55.000 --> 08:57.000 What for? He's already apologized. 08:57.000 --> 08:59.000 Everything's straightened out. 08:59.000 --> 09:01.000 Oh, the fool. 09:03.000 --> 09:04.000 Hello, Brad. 09:04.000 --> 09:07.000 No, this isn't Brad, Mrs. Stevens. 09:07.000 --> 09:09.000 This is Desmond Palmer. 09:09.000 --> 09:12.000 Desmond Palmer? Oh, Judge Palmer. 09:12.000 --> 09:14.000 Yes. Is Brad there? 09:14.000 --> 09:15.000 Oh, no, he isn't here right now, 09:15.000 --> 09:17.000 but I can tell you where you can reach him. 09:17.000 --> 09:18.000 He's at the men's club. 09:18.000 --> 09:19.000 Oh, thanks. 09:19.000 --> 09:22.000 I have some good news for Brad, Mrs. Stevens. 09:22.000 --> 09:23.000 Good news? 09:23.000 --> 09:26.000 Yes, I've decided to retire from the bench next month, 09:26.000 --> 09:29.000 and I've been asked to recommend a successor. 09:29.000 --> 09:32.000 It would be a real advancement for Brad, Mrs. Stevens. 09:32.000 --> 09:34.000 Oh, that is good news. 09:34.000 --> 09:36.000 Which court is that? 09:36.000 --> 09:38.000 The Court of Domestic Relations. 09:38.000 --> 09:44.000 Oh, the Court of Domestic Relations? 09:44.000 --> 09:45.000 Yes, you see, it's my theory 09:45.000 --> 09:47.000 that the best man for this position 09:47.000 --> 09:50.000 is a man whose own private domestic life 09:50.000 --> 09:52.000 is smooth and untroubled. 09:52.000 --> 09:55.000 I know that you and Brad are an ideal couple, 09:55.000 --> 09:57.000 well-mated in perfect accord, 09:57.000 --> 10:00.000 with never a disagreement. 10:00.000 --> 10:02.000 Right, Mrs. Stevens? 10:02.000 --> 10:03.000 I mean... 10:03.000 --> 10:06.000 Well, I'll call Brad at the club now. 10:06.000 --> 10:08.000 Oh, listen, Judge Palmer, 10:08.000 --> 10:11.000 I was wondering if you'd do me a favor, please. 10:11.000 --> 10:13.000 Why, certainly. What is it? 10:13.000 --> 10:14.000 Well, when you speak to Brad, 10:14.000 --> 10:16.000 don't tell him that you spoke to me first. 10:16.000 --> 10:18.000 I want him to be able to surprise me 10:18.000 --> 10:20.000 with the news himself. 10:20.000 --> 10:23.000 Oh, that's very considerate of you, Mrs. Stevens. 10:23.000 --> 10:25.000 It makes me surer than ever 10:25.000 --> 10:28.000 that Brad is the man for the Court of Domestic Relations. 10:28.000 --> 10:30.000 Goodbye, Mrs. Stevens. 10:30.000 --> 10:33.000 Goodbye, Judge Palmer. 10:33.000 --> 10:35.000 Mrs. Stevens, if you're so worried 10:35.000 --> 10:37.000 about the girls coming over, 10:37.000 --> 10:39.000 why don't you let me tell them you don't feel well? 10:39.000 --> 10:40.000 Oh, forget it, Freda. 10:40.000 --> 10:41.000 Forget it? 10:41.000 --> 10:42.000 Yep. 10:42.000 --> 10:45.000 In exactly 35 minutes, 10:45.000 --> 10:50.000 my wandering rooster is going to be back in the hen house. 10:54.000 --> 10:56.000 Mrs. Stevens, I don't know how you can be so sure 10:56.000 --> 10:58.000 the judge is coming back. 10:58.000 --> 11:00.000 Because I know my husband, 11:00.000 --> 11:02.000 and there isn't anything he wouldn't do in the world 11:02.000 --> 11:04.000 to get that job in the Domestic Relations Court. 11:04.000 --> 11:06.000 And if there was the slightest whisper 11:06.000 --> 11:09.000 that his own domestic life wasn't absolutely perfect, 11:09.000 --> 11:11.000 they wouldn't even consider him at all. 11:11.000 --> 11:14.000 Let's see, Judge Palmer must have called him about... 11:14.000 --> 11:17.000 Go out the door, Freda. 11:19.000 --> 11:21.000 Open it. 11:23.000 --> 11:25.000 I give up. 11:25.000 --> 11:29.000 Well, if it isn't his honor, the wandering judge. 11:29.000 --> 11:32.000 May I come in? 11:32.000 --> 11:33.000 Come in. 11:33.000 --> 11:35.000 But you'll have to excuse me. 11:35.000 --> 11:37.000 I've got to get these films of the trip ready. 11:37.000 --> 11:39.000 I'm having some guests over. 11:39.000 --> 11:40.000 Joan. 11:40.000 --> 11:41.000 Yes, Brad. 11:41.000 --> 11:43.000 Joan, I... 11:43.000 --> 11:45.000 Yes, Brad. 11:45.000 --> 11:47.000 Well, about the argument, Joan. 11:47.000 --> 11:49.000 Yes, Brad. 11:49.000 --> 11:51.000 Well, I want to patch it up. You see... 11:51.000 --> 11:52.000 Yes, Brad. 11:52.000 --> 11:54.000 Well, I've been thinking it over. 11:54.000 --> 11:57.000 I ought to go halfway, and... 11:57.000 --> 11:58.000 Yes, Brad. 11:58.000 --> 12:00.000 Well, what do you say, Joan? 12:00.000 --> 12:01.000 Brad? 12:01.000 --> 12:02.000 Yes, Joan. 12:02.000 --> 12:04.000 No, Brad. 12:04.000 --> 12:08.000 Didn't you just get a call from Judge Palmer at the club? 12:08.000 --> 12:09.000 Yes. 12:09.000 --> 12:13.000 He wants to recommend me to succeed him in domestic relations court. 12:13.000 --> 12:16.000 That's why you came home to make up with me, isn't it? 12:16.000 --> 12:18.000 No, that's not so. 12:18.000 --> 12:20.000 His call caught me in the lobby. 12:20.000 --> 12:22.000 I was on my way home when he phoned. 12:22.000 --> 12:24.000 I even asked him to meet me here. 12:24.000 --> 12:26.000 Oh, really, now. 12:26.000 --> 12:27.000 Come on, Joan. Honestly. 12:27.000 --> 12:30.000 Honestly, that's the truth, Joan. 12:30.000 --> 12:33.000 You've got to believe me. That... 12:35.000 --> 12:37.000 You expect me to believe a story like that 12:37.000 --> 12:41.000 when you wouldn't even believe a true story that I forgot to mail the envelope? 12:41.000 --> 12:43.000 Look, I know why you didn't mail the envelope. 12:43.000 --> 12:47.000 Because you... because you didn't agree with my political opinions. 12:47.000 --> 12:49.000 That is not true. 12:49.000 --> 12:50.000 But I know why you came home. 12:50.000 --> 12:53.000 You didn't want Judge Palmer to know that we quarreled. 12:53.000 --> 12:55.000 That's not so, but I'm not going to argue the matter. 12:55.000 --> 12:57.000 That suits me fine. 12:57.000 --> 12:59.000 Well, I'm sorry I came home. 12:59.000 --> 13:01.000 I'm not shooting off any cannons. 13:01.000 --> 13:04.000 Well, that settles it, Joan. I am going back to the club. 13:04.000 --> 13:06.000 That must be the girls. 13:06.000 --> 13:08.000 Maybe it's Judge Palmer. 13:08.000 --> 13:12.000 Look, Brad, I don't want the girls to suspect there's anything wrong between us. 13:12.000 --> 13:15.000 And you feel the same way about Judge Palmer. 13:15.000 --> 13:16.000 Right. 13:16.000 --> 13:18.000 Make a deal with you. 13:18.000 --> 13:20.000 Let's hide our feelings. 13:22.000 --> 13:24.000 Until after they leave. 13:26.000 --> 13:28.000 Good evening, Mrs. Stevens. 13:28.000 --> 13:30.000 Oh, Judge Palmer, come in. 13:30.000 --> 13:31.000 Hello, Bradley, my boy. 13:31.000 --> 13:34.000 Oh, Judge, here, let me take your things. 13:34.000 --> 13:36.000 Oh, thank you. I'll put them right down here. 13:36.000 --> 13:37.000 How are you? 13:37.000 --> 13:40.000 Oh, splendid. Thank you, Mrs. Stevens. 13:40.000 --> 13:43.000 And I'm happy to say that I have some more good news. 13:43.000 --> 13:46.000 I've already spoken to the Board of Supervisors. 13:46.000 --> 13:51.000 And when I told them that my choice was Bradley Stevens, they were delighted. 13:51.000 --> 13:53.000 Oh, say that. That's good news. 13:53.000 --> 13:54.000 Isn't it, Joan? 13:54.000 --> 13:55.000 Great. 13:55.000 --> 13:57.000 Great. Great news. 13:57.000 --> 14:04.000 Well, I'll bet you were so proud of your husband that you could just throw your arms right around him and give him a great big kiss. 14:04.000 --> 14:05.000 Yeah. 14:05.000 --> 14:07.000 Well, go ahead, kids. Don't mind me. 14:07.000 --> 14:08.000 No, it can wait. 14:08.000 --> 14:10.000 Yes, it can wait, you know. 14:10.000 --> 14:14.000 Oh, for heaven's sake, don't be so shy. 14:14.000 --> 14:17.000 Come on, this is a big moment for both of you. 14:17.000 --> 14:18.000 Go ahead. 14:20.000 --> 14:22.000 Oh, that's the spirit. 14:22.000 --> 14:25.000 Just what the Court of Domestic Relations needs. 14:25.000 --> 14:27.000 A happily married man. 14:29.000 --> 14:31.000 Oh, there must be the girls. 14:31.000 --> 14:32.000 Oh, listen, Brad. 14:39.000 --> 14:42.000 Judge Palmer, these are the girls of my group. 14:42.000 --> 14:45.000 Now that you all know one another, what shall we do? 14:45.000 --> 14:48.000 Well, come on. We're just dying to see those pictures of Hawaii. 14:48.000 --> 14:50.000 Yes, Hawaii. You lucky kids. 14:50.000 --> 14:52.000 Oh, you must be the happiest couple. 14:52.000 --> 14:55.000 Oh, they are. I can vouch for that. 14:55.000 --> 14:57.000 Well, shall we see the pictures? 14:57.000 --> 14:59.000 Oh, yeah. All set to see the pictures? 14:59.000 --> 15:03.000 I came just in time. I'd like to see those pictures of Hawaii now. 15:03.000 --> 15:05.000 Oh, I'm sure you would. 15:05.000 --> 15:07.000 Oh, I'm sure you would. 15:07.000 --> 15:09.000 Oh, I'm sure you would. 15:09.000 --> 15:12.000 Oh, I came just in time. I'd like to see those pictures of Hawaii too. 15:12.000 --> 15:14.000 Oh, well, look at you, Judge. 15:14.000 --> 15:15.000 There we are. 15:15.000 --> 15:16.000 Thank you. 15:20.000 --> 15:21.000 All set, darling. 15:21.000 --> 15:23.000 All set, lover. 15:27.000 --> 15:30.000 I just wanted to get my glasses from my purse. 15:30.000 --> 15:31.000 Sorry, everyone. 15:31.000 --> 15:33.000 Well, let's see what Hawaii looks like now. 15:33.000 --> 15:36.000 We haven't even seen the pictures ourselves. 15:36.000 --> 15:39.000 It was just developed. 15:39.000 --> 15:41.000 Well, contact. 15:43.000 --> 15:48.000 Folks, in a minute you'll see beautiful Hawaii, land of tropical enchantment. 15:48.000 --> 15:51.000 Oh, there's the Royal Hawaiian Hotel where we stayed at. 15:51.000 --> 15:53.000 That is when we were out, weren't out looking at the sights. 15:53.000 --> 15:56.000 Speaking of sights, here's one. 15:56.000 --> 15:58.000 I'm only kidding, darling. 15:58.000 --> 16:00.000 Oh, there's Waxing Beach. 16:00.000 --> 16:02.000 There's the Pali Pass. 16:02.000 --> 16:06.000 This is one of the most beautiful views on the island. 16:08.000 --> 16:10.000 Oh, Brad said we picked a very bad day. 16:10.000 --> 16:12.000 It was very windy. 16:12.000 --> 16:16.000 They say you can see everything from the Pali. 16:16.000 --> 16:18.000 I see what you mean. 16:19.000 --> 16:22.000 Brad, you were supposed to be photographing the scenery. 16:22.000 --> 16:25.000 I was photographing everything of interest. 16:25.000 --> 16:26.000 Wow. 16:26.000 --> 16:27.000 Is that wind? 16:27.000 --> 16:29.000 Oh, the wind there is amazing. 16:29.000 --> 16:31.000 Oh, what a beautiful flag. 16:31.000 --> 16:33.000 Oh, there's the Pali. 16:35.000 --> 16:36.000 This is embarrassing. 16:36.000 --> 16:39.000 Don't worry, Mrs. Stevens. I'm not looking. 16:39.000 --> 16:41.000 Brad, stop it. 16:41.000 --> 16:44.000 Start it! Start it, Brad. 16:45.000 --> 16:47.000 Oh, there's the Pali. 16:47.000 --> 16:51.000 I've been in windy places in my life, but never anything that can... 16:54.000 --> 16:58.000 Brad said we'd come back some other day when it wasn't so windy. 16:58.000 --> 17:01.000 Oh, there's a coconut tree. 17:01.000 --> 17:04.000 I wanted to get a nice, fresh coconut. 17:04.000 --> 17:06.000 So I started to climb the tree. 17:06.000 --> 17:08.000 Oh, did you really climb the tree? 17:08.000 --> 17:12.000 How should I know? This is the first time I've seen the picture, too. 17:12.000 --> 17:14.000 Oh, I remember now. 17:14.000 --> 17:18.000 There's a little native boy that said he'd be happy to go out and get the coconut for me. 17:18.000 --> 17:28.000 He can't do enough for you out there. 17:29.000 --> 17:32.000 Isn't that hot? 17:32.000 --> 17:35.000 Why didn't Brad climb up and get your coconut? 17:35.000 --> 17:40.000 Brad? He gets a nosebleed even if he licks an airmail stamp. 17:40.000 --> 17:45.000 I'd like to see that boy write a legal opinion, especially one like the Brighton case. 17:45.000 --> 17:50.000 Well, at least he isn't making a fuss like a child, screaming and yelling. 17:50.000 --> 17:52.000 Joan, what are you talking about? 17:52.000 --> 17:54.000 Oh, that's a private joke. 17:54.000 --> 17:56.000 A little family joke. 17:56.000 --> 17:58.000 Oh, look at that. 17:58.000 --> 18:01.000 You know what? 18:12.000 --> 18:15.000 Oh, my goodness. Look at the coconut, Brad. 18:15.000 --> 18:17.000 There he is. I told him one was plenty. 18:17.000 --> 18:19.000 But what's your pretty little one? 18:19.000 --> 18:21.000 And he gets an old truckload. 18:21.000 --> 18:23.000 Oh, look at how pretty. 18:23.000 --> 18:25.000 Oh, there's my coconut. 18:25.000 --> 18:29.000 There's only two ways to open a coconut. 18:29.000 --> 18:31.000 That's one of them. 18:31.000 --> 18:35.000 I was a mess. I ought to go back to the hotel and clean up. 18:35.000 --> 18:37.000 Oh, my goodness. 18:37.000 --> 18:39.000 It was a good one. 18:39.000 --> 18:41.000 Yes, it was. 18:41.000 --> 18:43.000 Oh, here we are at a pineapple field. 18:43.000 --> 18:47.000 And I want to pick some of my own pineapples and take back to the hotel. 18:47.000 --> 18:49.000 What does that sign mean? Capoo? 18:49.000 --> 18:51.000 I don't know what the Hawaiian word for welcome is. 18:51.000 --> 18:54.000 It means nothing of the kind. It means keep out. 18:54.000 --> 18:56.000 Oh, what a pineapple. 18:56.000 --> 18:58.000 It's a little primitive English. 18:58.000 --> 18:59.000 That's sloppy. 18:59.000 --> 19:01.000 There I am picking the pineapples. 19:01.000 --> 19:03.000 You never tasted anything like a pretty thing. 19:03.000 --> 19:05.000 Now, listen. Watch Joan catch it. 19:05.000 --> 19:07.000 Watch her catch it. 19:07.000 --> 19:09.000 What's that? 19:09.000 --> 19:12.000 What's that? Oh, that's a pineapple harvester. 19:12.000 --> 19:15.000 You see the conveyor belt? It does the work of a lot of men. 19:15.000 --> 19:17.000 It's very modern. 19:17.000 --> 19:19.000 There we go. 19:19.000 --> 19:21.000 I didn't even know it was behind me. 19:21.000 --> 19:25.000 When I saw them with those swords, I thought they were headhunters. 19:25.000 --> 19:28.000 So does Joan think slowly in the West. 19:28.000 --> 19:31.000 We say farewell to the pineapple field. 19:31.000 --> 19:34.000 Oh, here we are at the harbor on the dock. 19:34.000 --> 19:37.000 We're going fishing on a friend of ours' boat. 19:37.000 --> 19:39.000 Yep, we're going fishing. 19:39.000 --> 19:44.000 Brad said that he was going to teach me everything he knew about fishing. 19:44.000 --> 19:46.000 Why is Brad in any of the pictures? 19:46.000 --> 19:48.000 Well, I'm just a bit... Oh, there he is. 19:48.000 --> 19:52.000 He was the only thing that was greener than the water. 19:52.000 --> 19:55.000 You might say he made the whole trip by rail. 19:55.000 --> 19:57.000 I got a bite. 19:57.000 --> 20:00.000 Grab it, grab it, Mrs. Stevens. Grab it, grab it. 20:00.000 --> 20:02.000 Pull it. Come on, come on. 20:02.000 --> 20:03.000 Here it is. 20:03.000 --> 20:05.000 Oh, puppy. 20:05.000 --> 20:07.000 Oh, dear. 20:07.000 --> 20:09.000 Oh, oh, oh. 20:09.000 --> 20:11.000 Oh, oh, oh. 20:11.000 --> 20:13.000 That's it. 20:13.000 --> 20:15.000 Oh, dear. 20:15.000 --> 20:18.000 Puppy. 20:18.000 --> 20:21.000 Take it. 20:21.000 --> 20:23.000 I got it up to the boat now. 20:23.000 --> 20:25.000 I got it up to the boat now. 20:25.000 --> 20:27.000 See, they're going to gap it. 20:27.000 --> 20:29.000 That's the big hook they got to gap it. 20:29.000 --> 20:31.000 Oh, gee. 20:31.000 --> 20:33.000 I'll bet it's a little fish. 20:33.000 --> 20:34.000 Oh, I know that joke. 20:34.000 --> 20:37.000 You put out a big bite and come in with a sardine. 20:37.000 --> 20:39.000 Oh. 20:39.000 --> 20:42.000 Look over the boat, Meg. You can see it. 20:42.000 --> 20:45.000 Oh, I know. 20:45.000 --> 20:49.000 It's a 186-pound marlin, and I caught him all myself. 20:49.000 --> 20:51.000 What a beautiful color they are. 20:51.000 --> 20:54.000 And did you notice the long sword on him? 20:54.000 --> 20:56.000 Oh, you're going to have him stuffed, Joe. 20:56.000 --> 21:03.000 Well, I was going to take him to the taxi, Dermot, but I couldn't get him in the taxi. 21:03.000 --> 21:09.000 Got to see Hawaii when it looks like Hawaii saw me. 21:09.000 --> 21:12.000 Oh, there's Don the Beachcomber. 21:12.000 --> 21:14.000 Yes, Don the Beachcomber. 21:14.000 --> 21:18.000 He's a wonderful eating place, tropical food, tropical drinks and everything. 21:18.000 --> 21:20.000 We're at a luau. 21:20.000 --> 21:21.000 Who's that? 21:21.000 --> 21:23.000 That's Don the Beachcomber. 21:23.000 --> 21:24.000 Oh, he's handsome. 21:24.000 --> 21:31.000 He's offering me the native specialty poi. 21:31.000 --> 21:33.000 I've often wondered what it tastes like. 21:33.000 --> 21:35.000 Oh, you eat it with your fingers? 21:35.000 --> 21:38.000 Well, that isn't very satisfactory. 21:38.000 --> 21:43.000 There isn't a germ that could stay alive in that stuff. 21:43.000 --> 21:44.000 Johnny, what does poi taste like? 21:44.000 --> 21:47.000 I got it when he didn't see me. 21:47.000 --> 21:51.000 But being the perfect host, he offered me more. 21:51.000 --> 21:52.000 What does poi taste like? 21:52.000 --> 22:01.000 Like nothing you ever tasted. 22:01.000 --> 22:03.000 Well, you're a good sport. 22:03.000 --> 22:04.000 Oh, here I am on a surfboard. 22:04.000 --> 22:06.000 That's really me now, too. 22:06.000 --> 22:08.000 Oh, there's Charlie Amalo. 22:08.000 --> 22:09.000 Hello, Charlie. 22:09.000 --> 22:11.000 There we are waiting for the waves. 22:11.000 --> 22:12.000 Oh, he's coming right over here. 22:12.000 --> 22:14.000 Brad, where are you? 22:14.000 --> 22:17.000 Brad was in the outfitter canoe taking the picture. 22:17.000 --> 22:19.000 That's me, I was taking the picture. 22:19.000 --> 22:20.000 Oh, my goodness. 22:20.000 --> 22:21.000 There I am looking. 22:21.000 --> 22:23.000 Joe, isn't that dangerous? 22:23.000 --> 22:24.000 Well, it is for me. 22:24.000 --> 22:31.000 I can't swim. 22:31.000 --> 22:33.000 There we are about 35 miles an hour. 22:33.000 --> 22:35.000 Oh, my goodness. 22:35.000 --> 22:37.000 That's really wonderful. 22:37.000 --> 22:41.000 Oh, that was wonderful. 22:41.000 --> 22:44.000 What happened? 22:44.000 --> 22:45.000 Who saved you? 22:45.000 --> 22:48.000 Well, Brad jumped in clothes and all. 22:48.000 --> 22:50.000 Oh, you're a hero, Brad. 22:50.000 --> 22:52.000 I wouldn't say that. 22:52.000 --> 22:55.000 Johnny, I think the pictures were just wonderful. 22:55.000 --> 22:58.000 Oh, this has certainly been an interesting evening, Mrs. Stevens. 22:58.000 --> 23:00.000 Oh, I had such a nice time. 23:00.000 --> 23:04.000 Next summer, I'm going to make frank cake meat or a wagyu. 23:04.000 --> 23:08.000 I know it's your first night home and you must be very tired from the trip, 23:08.000 --> 23:10.000 so we'll just dangle along. 23:10.000 --> 23:11.000 Good night, Judge. 23:11.000 --> 23:12.000 Good night. 23:12.000 --> 23:13.000 Good night. 23:13.000 --> 23:14.000 Good night. 23:14.000 --> 23:15.000 Good night. 23:15.000 --> 23:16.000 Good night. 23:16.000 --> 23:17.000 Good night. 23:17.000 --> 23:21.000 I must say you're the happiest married couple I know. 23:21.000 --> 23:24.000 Well, you have to work at it, you know. 23:24.000 --> 23:26.000 We make a point never to quarrel. 23:26.000 --> 23:28.000 Well, good night, Mrs. Stevens. 23:28.000 --> 23:31.000 Good night, Judge Bradley James. 23:31.000 --> 23:32.000 Good night, Judge. 23:32.000 --> 23:38.000 Good night, Judge Bradley J. Stevens of the Domestic Relations Court. 23:38.000 --> 23:41.000 Good night. 23:41.000 --> 23:47.000 Now let me tell you, when you made a fool of me, well, I thought, whoa! 23:47.000 --> 23:49.000 I just forgot my blue case. 23:49.000 --> 23:50.000 Perfect. 23:50.000 --> 23:52.000 Happiest couple I know. 23:52.000 --> 24:03.000 Oh, Joan. 24:03.000 --> 24:15.000 Let's watch the pictures again. 24:15.000 --> 24:25.000 I married Joan. 24:25.000 --> 24:26.000 What a girl, what a world, what a life. 24:26.000 --> 24:27.000 Oh, I married Joan. 24:27.000 --> 24:28.000 What a mind, love is blind, what a wife. 24:28.000 --> 24:29.000 Do, do, do. 24:29.000 --> 24:32.000 Giddy and gay all day she keeps my heart laughing. 24:32.000 --> 24:35.000 Never know where her brain has flown. 24:35.000 --> 24:48.000 To each his own, ending our life, what I married Joan.