BANGALORE-SHOLAPUR	441
simply because some wandering mendicant was present
with them. I did not stop merely thinking of their folly
bnt felt a curiosity to see the sadhu who was the cause of
so much commotion in the house* I decided to have only
a peep at him from  the staircase and then turn back.
Accordingly I slowly entered the house and went up the
staircase to a height from which I could have a good
view   of  the sadhu. I saw,  but  my mind refused   my
turning   back.    I   felt   an   irresistible   desire   to  climb
further up and enter the room and I did. I thought there
was  no harm  to   witness the fun.   I sat and   watched
with a queer state of mind the progress of the bhajan. I
was tickled to behold stout-bodied educated men jumping
and dancing. I could not stop at that. I came to think:
4 What does it matter if I repeat the mantram sotto vom ?
Nothing wrong I suppose if I do so1 and  I commenced
muttering the mantram to myself. My hand automatically
clapped in a slow key. * What if I stand in a corner just as
the others do ? I would not bellow forth like them. Repeat-
ing merely with the lips will not be detected.' Suiting
action to the thought I got up and stood in a far corner in line
with the others and my lips moved and I uttered the man*
tram inaudibly. My hands continued clapping. ' If I sing
a little louder the sound will be drowned in the chorus,
and nobody the wiser and no harm done.' I went on taking
the mantram a little louder. All the time my feet were
feeling restless. * What does it matter if I slightly move
the feet up and down?' and I did move the feet. So far I
was aware of the course of my conduct. What followed
next, I confess, is beyond me to say."
The fact was: he had danced more wildly than the
others, sung more loudly than the others and clapped
hands more furiously than those of others.
At the close of his narration a friend in the party
whispered into his ears advising him to receive initiation
of the mantram from Ramdas. He replied to the friend:
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