THE SOUSE BEAUTIFUL 86S
ft: large grassy yard, with paling fence painted white—in fair
repair; brick walk from gate to door; big, square, two-story * frame *
house, painted white and porticoed like a Grecian temple—with this
difference, that the imposing fluted columns and Corinthian capitals
were a pathetic sham, being made of white pine, and painted ; iron
knocker; brass door knob—discoloured, for lack of polishing. Within,
an uncarpeted hall, of planed boards; opening out of it, a parlour,
fifteen feet by fifteen—in some instances five or ten feet larger;
ingrain carpet; mahogany centre-table; lamp on it, with green-paper
shade—standing on a gridiron, so to speak, made of high-coloured
yarns, by the young ladies of the house, and called a lamp-mat;
several books, piled and disposed, with cast-iron exactness, according
to an inherited and unchangeable plan; among them, Tapper, much
pencilled; also, * Friendship's Offering,' and 'Affection's Wreath/
with their sappy inanities illustrated in die-away mezzo tints; also,
Ossian; * Alonzo and Melissa ;' maybe * Ivanhoe:' also * Album,
full of original * poetry* of the Thou-hast-wounded-the-spirit-that-
loved-thee breed; two or three goody-goody works—* Shepherd of
Salisbury Plain,' etc.; current number of the chaste and innocuous
Gode/s 'Lady's Book,' with painted fashion-plate of wax-figure
women with mouths all alike—lips and eyelids the same size—each
five-foot woman with a two-inch wedge sticking from under her dress
and letting-on to be half of her foot. Polished air-tight stove (new
and deadly invention), with pipe passing through a board which
closes up the discarded good old fireplace. On each end of the
wooden mantel, over the fireplace, a large basket of peaches and other
fruits, natural size, all done in plaster, rudely, or in wax, and painted
to resemble the originals—which they don't. Over middle of mantel,
engraving—Washington Crossing the Delaware ; on the wall by the
door, copy of it done in thunder-and-lightning crewels by one of the
young ladies—work of art which would have made Washington
hesitate about crossing, if he could have foreseen what advantage r 95
going to be taken of it. Piano—kettle in disguise—with mode,
bound and unbound, piled on it, and on a stand near by: Battle of
Prague; Bird Waltz; Arkansas Traveller; Rosin the Bow; Mar-
seilles Hymn; On a Lone Barren Isle (St. Helena); Hie Last Tank
is Broken; She wore a Wreath of Hoses the Night when last w*