Hold it! I think you're gonna like this picture.
Love, That Bob
Starring Bob Cummings
Bob Cummings
Oh, you just love working with him, he's a doll!
Ah, very nice to see you again Pamela, won't you just sit down, she'll be right back.
Mr. Collins, I'm here to see you.
Look, to extend to you an invitation.
I'm to, uh, an invitation to what?
To live.
Well, thank you, I accept.
Then you'll come to the woods with me.
Come where?
The fields, the forests, the meadows, there to frolic with spring, and me.
Look Pamela, I'm so busy, you saw all the girls I met.
The years of the spring, the days of the morn, the locks on the wing, the snails.
Oh, look, snails? No, no, those are cars on the freeway.
I like you.
Thank you.
There's a magnetism about you.
Yes, apparently.
You've never seen this side of me, have you?
Well, yes, I...
To you I've always been the prim, precise secretary.
Appreciate yourself, Miss Busy Fingers.
Yeah, they're pretty busy, all right.
Today I am as a woman in possession.
Spring has turned my blood to wine.
Pamela, don't pop your cork here, I have work to do.
Bob!
You see, all the girls are waiting.
Please, Pamela.
Let's play hooky.
No, I can't, I can't.
Every boy loves to play hooky.
Pam, not from teachers like these.
Let's get it with, Bob.
Yeah, we'll be working.
Let me tempt you once more.
All right.
I know of a venerable oak tree in Griffith Park.
We climbed to the very tip top.
I think I can promise you an intimate glimpse of not one, not two, but three tufted titmouse eggs.
Three tufted titmouse eggs.
Tufted?
Pamela, I...
Come on, Bob.
It's bikini time.
It's bikini time.
What shall it be?
Work or play?
Pamela, I tell you, you've given me just a murderous decision.
Just murderous.
But work comes first.
Girls, get into your bikinis.
I'll be right in.
How strong you are.
Thank you.
However, I still have an ace in the hole.
Look, Pamela.
Pamela.
They say that one picture is worth a thousand words.
Mr. Collins, I defy you to resist the excitement of this on the scene photograph of the green-tailed toehee preparing for motherhood.
Pamela, it just doesn't mean anything.
Bewitching creature, isn't she?
Yes, yes.
What is her name?
The green-tailed toehee.
The girl?
That is I.
She's...
No, the other girl.
This one.
Oh, that is Cecily Allen.
She lives in my apartment building.
She's only recently come over from England.
Cecily Allen.
And this girl, you say, is interested in bird watching?
Definitely.
Well, Mr. Collins, has the mother toehee done what I couldn't do?
Are you ready now to romp with me across the fields and into the woods?
I'm sorry, Pamela, but duty calls, business comes first.
Dad, what will, Pamela?
Mr. Collins.
Oh, yes?
I warn you, Spring and I are a formidable team of tentresses.
We'll not let you rest.
All of a sudden, your heart will sing, and you'll heed the call of Pam and Spring.
What?
Oh, excuse me.
No, no, not you.
Could you connect me with Miss Cecily Allen's apartment, please?
Yes, thank you very much.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Mr. Robert Collins telephoned.
Naturally.
He wishes to see me.
Naturally.
To chat about bird watching.
Naturally.
Bird watching?
Yes, I understand he's quite an expert on the subject.
Cecily?
Yes.
Robert.
John.
Likewise.
Chelsea.
Stu Jo.
Right.
Naturally.
Well, so you're Cecily.
Yes.
How did you happen to hear about me?
Oh, you're quite a star in all anthological circles, you know.
Oh, you know, I hardly deserve that sort of billing.
On the contrary, you're one of the best billed bird watchers I've ever seen.
That's awfully decent of you.
Not at all.
Cecily, tell me, is spring to you what it is to me?
Well, lad, what is it to you?
An invocation to me.
Come here.
The years of the spring, the days of the morn,
the locks on the wing, the snails on the thorn.
Robert Browning?
Robert Collins.
Oh, you mean the poem.
Yes.
You know, somehow I feel that Browning really must have understood bird watchers like us.
Oh, definitely.
An outdoor lover.
Yes.
You know, speaking of outdoor loving, I mean loving outdoors,
why don't you and I go to Griffith Park and do a bit of bird watching?
Do you remember Browning's immortal?
Oh, to be in England now that April's there.
Yeah, lovely thing, lovely thing.
In Griffith Park...
And whoever wakes in England sees some warning unaware,
the lowest boughs and the brushwood chink.
In Griffith Park...
And the elm tree bowler in tiny leaf.
In Griffith Park...
And the chafing sings on the orchard bar in England.
Now.
Now.
Look, in Griffith Park I think I can promise you a peek
at the cunning little nest of the tawny-throated pipit.
Oh, I'm so sorry, I have work to do.
So am I.
Let's play hockey.
At some other time.
Meanwhile, it's been awfully nice meeting you.
I do hope you'll continue to think of me as a fellow bird watcher.
Well, I much prefer to think of you as a girl bird watcher.
Oh, I say that's rather good.
Good enough?
Afraid not.
So sorry.
No harm.
Rain check?
All right.
Good show.
Ta-ta.
Pip-pip.
Wow, wow.
Who watches the bird watcher while the bird watcher watches the bird?
Let's just shoot a few pictures, shall we?
I think you remember how I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
I used to do it.
Do you know the Great Bear?
The Great Bear?
Yeah.
The Great Bear!
Oh, I think you remember how.
Chuck!
Are you around?
Chuck, I need your help in here!
Hello?
Oh, hello, Schultz!
Hey, do you know if Bob's coming home for lunch today?
No, Margaret.
to lunch with Bill Lear Mr Lear wants him to photograph flying saucers flying
saucers. Where.
You show me. You wouldn't think that
a scientist like Bill Lear would believe in flying saucers I do mom absolutely.
Seems to have an open mind on the subject. OK by myself.
I'll see. You were so interested in flying saucers Oh sure
mom I just hope someday I'll be the one who makes them fly. Well your dream has
come true. There is a whole thing full of them make them fly.
The.
I don't think there are sauces I don't say there are all I say is come along this
afternoon and bring your camera. Oh yeah come
for your bill but the group of our observatory that's where the last sightings
were made bill this is the only kind of heavenly body. I photograph.
Let's face it you just want to be alone with this beautiful girl that's right I
prefer a dish to a saucer.
Bill but take this camera it's loaded with film and this light meter and go to
Griffith Park Observatory I make it I would know how to photograph anything well
that's all right there won't be anything to photograph.
For. How can a pilot like you ignore the testimony of other pilots who have
reported UFO sightings bill the Air Force has been able to explain ninety eight
percent of those sightings and what about the other two percent what about those
latest sightings of Griffith Park Observatory Bob don't you want to photograph
a UFO. This lovely little unidentified female object.
The models have not returned from lunch only me Charmaine unidentified body
shows.
The. Top.
I mean, they are.
It's always a ball.
Pamela.
Mr. Collins.
Oh, here.
I've returned to tempt you again.
Mm-hmm.
Are you tempted?
Quite a little, yes.
Quite a little.
Pamela, I'm still tied up.
Mr. Collins, I predict when you see what I have here, you will still bond.
If you could just...
A bird watching outfit.
What?
Pamela.
Not true.
Look.
Well, so that's North, huh?
Pamela, I'll admit, I'll admit, this is a bond snapper, but I'm so busy.
I could meet you in the park later.
Suppose I wait for you in front of the zoo.
Listen.
Pamela, if I were you, I wouldn't hang around the zoo in this outfit.
Oh, no.
Oh, I see what you mean.
The zoo is no place for cheesecake.
Well, that's as good an explanation as I get.
Forget what a devil-making mood I'm in today.
I can see it.
Look.
Sneakers to facilitate tree climbing.
Tree climbing?
Remember the tufted titmouse eggs I promised you?
High atop the Venerable Oak in Griffith Park.
Griffith Park.
Oh, yeah.
Pamela, wait right here.
I think I can arrange something.
I knew you'd weaken.
Uh-huh.
What was it?
The titmouse eggs?
Or spring?
Or the cheesecake?
Pamela, I'll tell you the truth.
Maybe they all took their toll.
No, not really.
See, I have a friend in the studio, and he'd make a much better companion than I.
His name is Bill Lear.
Now, if I can find him...
Mr. Collins.
He's young.
I do not climb a tree with just any man.
Oh, Pamela.
You like being out on a limb with Bill Lear.
Well, he's a great potential birdwatcher.
Got eyes like a hawk.
One does not fly with a hawk.
No?
Well, one can soar...
with the eagle.
Oh, Pamela, you will go to this hawk.
You'll go for it.
Understand?
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
It's within the realm of possibility that we could be under observation by creatures from another planet.
Really?
And another...
Steve, for just a moment.
Sorry.
Bill, if you're interested in creatures from another planet, I have just the girl for you.
What do you mean?
An observer trained to identify flying objects.
Oh, Bob, we want to go softly watching which one is the real one.
Hold it, girl.
Hold it!
Hold it!
Now, look, I'm awfully sorry, but this calls for someone with a great deal of experience,
someone who knows her way around Griffith Park.
What?
That's me.
In the daytime.
Now, look, all of you, run into the dressing room and change into your play clothes outfits immediately.
Dr. Bill, look, this girl is just perfect for you, and she's got all the necessary equipment.
Well, they didn't exactly shortchange Shirley.
Will you get your mind back on science?
Pam.
Sus.
Hello, are you joining us?
Us?
Yes, I've been invited to go bird watching.
I didn't think I could get off, but I managed.
Good.
We'll have a foursome.
You fly with the hawk, and I'll soar with the eagle.
I don't follow you.
That's the idea.
We want to be alone.
Unfortunately, Sus, I'm in a reckless mood today.
Tell me more about this foursome.
Your companion will be a Mr. Leo.
Oh, I'd rather thought I was going with a Mr. Collins.
Mr. Collins belongs to me.
Well, he was the one who invited me.
Cecily.
Ordinarily, I'm not a bellicose person.
However, if you persist in making an issue of this thing...
Come on!
Pam, really, now, it's not that important.
Well, how do you do?
How do you do?
How do you do?
I'm Bill Lear.
Billy Allen.
Yes, I know. Bob's been telling me about you.
How do you do?
I believe we're teaming up for Griffith Park.
Bob, he's not only certain I'd return, but he chose my company.
How do you do?
I'm awfully glad he did.
I'm pleased myself.
You know, Bob's description didn't have to do you justice.
You know, I'm beginning to form quite an active dislike for Mr. Collins.
I could tell you things about Bob that'll make you hate him.
And, uh, you know something?
I may.
How do you do?
See you later.
If you can find us.
Who invited the poor stranger?
Girls, these turned out just wonderfully.
Now, let me see.
We'll get the, uh...
Oh, yeah, the sports shots.
Okay, now, the beef.
Golf, tennis, basketball.
Uh, uh...
Time out.
Now, where is Bill Lear?
He's on a route to Griffith Park with Cecily.
You were...
The bundle from Britain?
Bill Lear is with her?
Yes, they seem to get on rather well.
Look, she shouldn't be alone with him. He's a wolf.
You didn't object to sending me out alone with him?
Well, that's different. You're armed.
I don't mean the sophistication in the experience.
You're a woman of the world, Pamela.
Mr. Collins.
Uh?
May I tell you something in strictest confidence?
Yes.
Following a field trip,
Cecily Allen was expelled from the Nottingham chapter of the Finch fancies.
Really?
What was that for?
Oh, for fancying something other than a Finch.
Beneath that cool, dignified exterior,
Cecily Allen is a very earthy woman.
Uh-huh.
There now. Feel better?
Heaps. Just me.
Come on, we're going bird watching.
Darn it, I forgot.
My car's in the garage.
All right, well, use mine.
Oh, you!
So, General Shoup called Bob on the carpet and he said,
Captain Collins, if you become involved with one more girl,
I'll break you down to a lieutenant.
And did that make him come about?
I'll put it this way.
They still talk about the party the girls threw for Private Collins.
Shut up.
What disgraceful behavior.
Tell me more.
Well, of course, there's the story of Bob's escapade with the Austrian Countess,
but I hardly think that's for your delicate ear.
Try this one.
Ellen, you haven't heard anything yet.
She was also severely reprimanded by the president of the British Birdwatching Society.
Oh, what was that for?
Seems that Cecily and a mixed group volunteered to observe the nocturnal habits of the owl.
Yes?
The owls wound up observing Cecily.
She really taught them how to hoot, huh?
Mr. Collins, if you want the stark truth,
her father, a member of the British Parish,
sent her to this country for a cooling off period.
Sent her to this country for a cooling off period?
Look, Pamela, won't this thing go any faster?
I want to catch her, find her before she cools off.
Yeah, to save Bill, you understand.
He didn't catch Bob.
He didn't?
No, sir.
Bob jumped out the castle window and climbed down some vines.
But what Bob didn't realize was that now he was in the Russian zone.
The minute he hit the ground, the Russian sergeant was covering him with a machine gun.
Good heavens.
Bob couldn't speak a word of Russian.
But he convinced that sergeant to sneak him across the line back into the American zone.
What ever did he do to break down a Russian sergeant?
Nobody knows.
She wouldn't even tell her own court-martial.
So she hasn't really had an opportunity to, shall we say, cut loose since she came here.
Uh-huh.
You ask me, Mr. Collins, she's just a bundle of dynamite waiting to be ignited.
Well, I'm just the punk who can do it.
Well, let me drive.
I know a shortcut.
Yeah.
Wolves may come and wolves may go, but that Bob Collins is the worst.
Sounds like a priceless cat.
Shall we go?
Uh, why don't we sit here for a while?
Perhaps they'll come along.
Who?
Um, the, uh, saucers.
Mr. Collins, is he really worth saving?
Oh, absolutely.
He's one of my dearest friends.
Hang on.
Well, I don't think we're going to see anything sitting here.
No, I'm beginning to give up myself.
Let's walk over to the observatory.
Look through the telescope.
Oh, it's getting rather late.
Perhaps we'd better stop back.
You know, I'm afraid I'm going to have to go.
I'm afraid so.
I'm afraid so.
It's getting rather late, perhaps we'd better stop back.
Maybe we'll meet them on the road.
The saucers?
Oh, well, there have been stories of them landing.
Besides, I want to get back to Mr. Collins' studio.
Really?
Yes, I left something there.
Now, I see I should have brought along...
Oh, here we are.
See, I told you the road wasn't too far.
Look at my beautiful Jeep stuck in the creek.
Now, don't worry about it.
As soon as we get to a phone, I'll call the auto club.
Oh, look, here comes a car.
Oh, I'll give...
I'll give him some cheesecake.
Pamela, I wouldn't...
Oh, thanks, Vinnie Bill.
What a break you're happening along.
You're a sight for sore eyes.
Please repent my thanks, too, Mr. Lear.
Don't forget, Mr. Collins wants to stop at the first telephone.
I'll pull into this filling station down here and drop Bob off.
Oh, no, that won't be necessary, Bill.
I can phone when you take Cecily back to my studio.
I'm not taking Cecily back to your studio.
I'm taking her to her apartment so she can change for dinner.
Oh, well, then I can call from her apartment.
You're not getting out there, either.
Use the telephone at my apartment, Mr. Collins.
You know, come to think of it,
I'll need my membership number in the cards at home.
Oh, very well. We'll phone from there.
Vinnie, Pamela, what for?
For conduct and becoming to a bird watcher.
Oh, now, look, Pamela, Bill doesn't want to hear about Cecily.
Mr. Collins, I thought you wanted to save him from her.
Yeah, I tell you what, I want to be saved.
No, look, there isn't time. Now, we're almost at my house.
I'll slow down.
Of course, there is the incident of Cecily's moonlight swim after a mallard.
Oh, Pamela, don't.
A mallard? I've never heard about that.
Well, Mr. Collins, that is the spiciest story of them all.
Really?
It seems that Sir Humphrey Mallard was swimming.
And Cecily...
Hey, Mom. Mom, is Uncle Bob back yet?
Did he get any pictures of flying saucers?
I've been out the last couple of hours...
Will you stop all that flying saucer nonsense?
Mom, it's not nonsense.
Come on, get cleaned up. You're a sight.
Listen, Mom, if Mr. Lear says there are flying saucers, there are flying saucers.
He didn't say that. He simply said it was within the realm of possibility.
Well, okay, there you are.
Well, anything is within the realm of...
Will you climb up there and see if you can fix that? It's stuck.
Sure, Mom.
Well, goodbye, you two. I've got to hurry and get dressed and pick up Cecily.
After all I've told you about her, Mr. Lear?
Poor girl needs...
Look, Bill, you can't go without saying hello to Margaret and Chuck.
Okay, just for a minute.
Hey, Mom, here come Uncle Bob and Mr. Lear.
Holy smoke.
What is it?
So you don't believe in flying saucers, huh?
Oh, did they bring one home?
Better than that. They captured the driver.
Ah, you're right!
All right.
Mr. Lear.
Hello, Pamela.
Hello, Margaret.
Hello, Margaret.
Say, Bill, Bill, excuse me.
Would you explain your theory of UFO to Chuck?
Yeah, Mr. Lear.
I'm a lawyer.
No, he really loved that kind of thing.
Oh, Margaret, honey, we got stuck in a creek and Pamela got a little mud splashed on her.
Could you take her up to your room and let her freshen up, please?
Oh, I'd love to.
Fine, thank you.
Oh, Mr. Collins.
Oh, yes.
Don't forget to pull in the auto club.
Yes, I'm on it.
Thank you.
Hello. Could you connect me with Miss Cecily Allen's apartment, please?
Thank you very much.
Hello, Cecily?
Bob here.
Cecily, look, Bill can't make it, but I'll be there in about five minutes.
Bob, we'll be right down.
Oh, who's out watching?
The bird watchers' daughter while the bird watchers' out watching birds?
Ceci...
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought that this was Cecily Allen's apartment.
It is.
Oh.
Well, I was...
I was just thinking, I was just thinking...
I was just thinking that this is a bit of a strange place.
It's a strange place.
It's Cecily Allen's apartment.
It is.
Oh.
Well, I'm Robert Collins.
She's expecting me.
Not anymore, old chap.
Who are you?
I'm the light of her life, Sir Humphrey Mallard.
Wait a minute.
You're not Sir Humphrey Mallard.
You're Charles Colburn.
You'll soon be, old chap.
The part of Shirley Swanson was played by Joy Lansing,
Pamela Livingstone by Nancy Culp,
Bill Lear by John Archer,
and Cecily Allen by Patricia Cutts.
This is Bill Baldwin speaking.