[...]
What's your hurry, John? I haven't kept you waiting so long.
No, you can't go, Sandy. You stay here. You stay here.
You know, Mary, I was just trying to figure... how many years of my life I've
spent waiting for you.
Oh, good on with you. You're posing again.
Oh, no, just taking 40 weeks.
Well, for heaven's sake, don't do it while you drive.
You can have your nap later. I want to get to town.
All right, Mary, all right. We're going.
[...]
Well, I say the less we have to do with foreigners, the better.
We got everything we need right here in this country.
We can get along fine without them.
Good morning, John. Good morning, Mrs. Robinson.
I have order. Still sounding off on the foreign minister.
Says the best thing we can do is mind our own business... and
let the rest of the world go hang.
Well, why not? We got everything we need right here.
What do we want from foreigners?
The less we have to do with them, the better.
Well, I don't know. We use a lot of foreign things, don't we?
What do we use? Fancy things we don't need.
Don't have to buy anything they make, do we?
You'll find made in the USA on about everything worthwhile we use.
For instance, take the automobile. There's a good example.
The American automobile is the best in the world... and we don't need a thing
from any foreign country to make it.
Maybe you got something there, Bert.
Hmm. Well, I'll bet there are things from foreign countries even in a car.
Things you can't see, maybe.
Ah, things you can't see. That falls in my department.
And now, gentlemen, take these nuts.
You can all see them. Sweet, luscious nuts right out of that pail.
And now, gentlemen, if one of you will lend me a handkerchief.
Ah, thank you, sir. You're very kind indeed.
Hey, I didn't have any handkerchief.
Now, this lady will allow me to place the handkerchief in her hand, so... and the
nuts in the handkerchief, so... and now, if you will grasp the handkerchief
firmly with your other hand, so, we're ready to proceed. There.
And now, madam, where are they?
Well, they're right here in my hand.
Exactly. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I propose to make those nuts fade,
vanish, and disappear before your very eyes.
Please watch carefully. Brazil nuts away.
They came from Brazil. And where are they now?
Why, they're right here in my... handkerchief.
Now, that, ladies and gentlemen, is but a small part of what you will witness
tonight if you will attend my performance of Mystery and
Magic at the High School Auditorium.
Tickets only half a dollar.
Ah, magic. Well, all I've got to say is that magic and no magic, you can't make
the fact disappear, that automobiles and most everything else we need to get
along with are 100% American.
And if we stick to that little old trademark made in the USA, we can save
ourselves a lot of headaches to say nothing of money.
There's John.
[...] secret is...
So, we're going to give you supper,
and you're going to tell us how you did that trick.
Fair enough, ma'am.
Now, watch the basket.
See that coffee? It came from Brazil.
God!
For goodness sakes, just like the nut.
You see, folks, my power applies to everything that comes, at least
in part, from a foreign country.
I mention the country, and presto, it vanishes.
Watch the basket.
Those bananas came from Costa Rica.
The pepper from the East Indies.
The cocoa from Africa.
Well, I'll be a son of a gun.
John, be careful!
You keep your eyes on the road or we'll all do a disappearing act.
All right, all right.
It's wonderful, Mr. Magician.
But for heaven's sakes, please don't do any more tricks in the car.
Oh, okay, ma'am, I won't.
I don't want to land in a ditch either.
Besides, driving like that is hard on tires.
And you've got to be careful nowadays when you can't
get any more rubber from Malaya.
Hey, we've got a flat tire.
They're not flat, John.
They just aren't.
All four of them aren't.
I'm sorry. I mentioned Malaya, Mr. Robinson.
It just slipped out.
But it goes to show you that our automobile isn't a 100% American product.
Oh, I know about rubber, young fella.
But we're going to have all the synthetic rubber we want.
So we are, but your tires weren't synthetic.
No.
But the rest of that car is American, all right.
Oh, dear.
What are you all daring about?
Well, I was hoping you could make it all vanish.
Maybe you could get a new car.
You can get new paint job, Mr. Robinson.
What for?
Paint's been on for six years, looks as good as new.
Well, paint doesn't last like that without a lot of foreign ingredients.
Now, see, there's lack from India.
There's dammer from Malaya.
There's tongue and perilla oil from China and Japan.
Well, as I live and breathe.
John, let's have it painted green, and I love red seats.
Young man, can't you do something about the upholstery?
Why not?
The stuffing's got k-box, Iceland, moss, from the East Indies, Mexico, Europe.
Now, see, here, enough's enough.
Anyway, you can't do any more damage.
I'll bet my bottom dollar that the rest of this car comes from the good old USA.
Don't it?
Oh, not all of it, by a long shot.
Sixty-eight materials that went into it came from 57 foreign countries.
Take the engine, for instance.
What's the matter with that engine?
Been pouring like a kitten for six years?
Can't tell me that isn't American.
Listen.
The bearing screws.
Ah, the bearing.
Bronze, with tin from Bolivia and East Indies.
And speaking of that engine, the manganese and vanadium in it came
from Russia and Peru.
That's the finish.
Nothing left but the body, the frame, and the axle.
Well, perhaps the manganese and vanadium and the frame and the axle
came from India and South Africa.
Yes, they did.
And there's your American car.
Oh, John, isn't he wonderful?
Now, we'll have to get a new one.
Wonderful, eh?
Come on, let's start walking.
At least our feet were made in America.
Oh, now, don't say it, mister.
Don't say it.
Every time we have anything to do with them, we get into trouble.
Look at us now.
So I say leave them alone.
But mister, we've got to do business with them.
Why?
We can make the best of everything right here in the USA.
Sure we can if we have the raw materials to make them from, but we haven't.
We have to get lots of them from abroad.
Nonsense.
As I said before, you take the American automobiles.
You don't know the half of it, Bert.
What's the matter with you?
Thought you were asleep.
If you had your way, there wouldn't be any such thing as an American automobile.
They'll always be an American automobile.
Not if we don't get things from abroad that won't.
We get lots of raw materials from abroad.
Besides, that's the way we get paid for the things that we sell to other
countries, by the things they send us.
Buying raw materials enables us to sell automobiles.
I say you don't need a thing from foreign countries.
Here's your coffee, Bert.
Coffee.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Bert, you'll have to take a tumble to things.
Catch up with the times you're living in or you'll be left behind.
Come on, Mary, we've got to get home.
Goodbye, young man. We're coming to your performance tonight.
You bet we are.
He's simply wonderful, John.
While you were asleep, he did some more tricks.
Why, he takes things you thought you knew about all your life.
There they are, right before your eyes.
And the next instance, they aren't.
John, they just aren't.