WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:06.000 It's the Martin and Lewis Show! 00:06.000 --> 00:16.280 Yes, the Nashville Broadcasting Company brings you Transcribe from Hollywood, the Martin 00:16.280 --> 00:17.280 and Lewis Show. 00:17.280 --> 00:22.080 Our guest tonight is Victor Moore and featuring Flo McMichael, Sheldon Leonard, Ben Alexander, 00:22.080 --> 00:29.560 Dick Stabilini's Orchestra and starring Dean Martin. 00:29.560 --> 00:43.600 You sigh the song begins, you speak and I hear, violins, it's magic. 00:43.600 --> 00:46.600 And Jerry Lewis! 00:46.600 --> 00:51.480 Yes it was magic, that night on a back porch, when you smiled I heard violins, when you 00:51.480 --> 01:05.000 kissed me I heard angel voices, when your father came out I heard all over. 01:05.000 --> 01:09.440 Well last week Dean and Jerry opened an engagement at Ciro's nightclub in Hollywood. 01:09.440 --> 01:13.600 Business has been sensational, that started them thinking and now we find them entangled 01:13.600 --> 01:16.320 in a scheme to buy a nightclub of their own. 01:16.320 --> 01:19.360 It all started when they were having breakfast in their apartment the other morning. 01:19.360 --> 01:22.640 I don't feel so well, I think maybe something's wrong with me. 01:22.640 --> 01:28.160 Working hard, doing two shows every night, you should take better care of yourself. 01:28.160 --> 01:33.360 Sophie what brings you all the way over from next door at this time of the day? 01:33.360 --> 01:36.800 Well I just wanted to grab a gander at the sporting pages, you know I had a bad break 01:36.800 --> 01:41.200 this morning, my neighbor on the other side of the hall, he got up early and he beat me 01:41.200 --> 01:42.200 to his paper. 01:42.200 --> 01:49.280 Why are you always so interested in the newspaper first thing in the morning? 01:49.280 --> 01:57.320 Well I always like to check on my investments you know, I had black shanty in the face the 01:57.320 --> 02:01.680 tan friend yesterday, paid 24 to 2. 02:01.680 --> 02:07.280 Hey look I had the winner in the 30th, the 5th and the 7th races too, and look the Dodgers 02:07.280 --> 02:09.480 win for me, yeah yeah yeah. 02:09.480 --> 02:15.840 And I had a fin on the Green Panther in the wrestling at the stadium. 02:15.840 --> 02:18.040 How'd you come out on the day Sophie? 02:18.040 --> 02:20.120 It was 18 bucks. 02:20.120 --> 02:27.400 Hey look here's your pictures in the papers, now appearing at Ciro's it says, hey you know 02:27.400 --> 02:30.480 you boys you do a great act, I caught you opening night. 02:30.480 --> 02:32.280 Oh were you at Ciro's opening night? 02:32.280 --> 02:33.280 Oh yeah yeah. 02:33.280 --> 02:34.280 Where were you sitting? 02:34.280 --> 02:37.440 I had a very cheap table, it was in no man's land. 02:37.440 --> 02:39.320 No man's land? 02:39.320 --> 02:40.320 Yeah yeah. 02:40.320 --> 02:45.200 The table between Hedda and Luella. 02:45.200 --> 02:51.680 Miss Parsons and Miss Hopper gave us some very nice reviews and it's helped a lot. 02:51.680 --> 02:53.720 Every night the people are packed in like caviar. 02:53.720 --> 02:54.720 Jerry like sardines. 02:54.720 --> 03:01.400 At other clubs yes, but at Ciro's they're packed in like caviar. 03:01.400 --> 03:04.160 You're drawing crowds that big every night hey? 03:04.160 --> 03:07.280 You know something that gives me an idea. 03:07.280 --> 03:09.920 What are you going to do when you finish your engagement there? 03:09.920 --> 03:13.240 Oh we're going to take a little vacation, I want to go to Palm Springs. 03:13.240 --> 03:17.480 Jerry the vacation idea is alright but Palm Springs is a winter resort, it's too hot there 03:17.480 --> 03:18.480 now. 03:18.480 --> 03:20.800 It's at least 120 degrees in the shade. 03:20.800 --> 03:23.600 Oh that's alright, we'll stay out in the sun. 03:23.600 --> 03:28.720 We'll stay out in the sun. 03:28.720 --> 03:29.720 That was a swifty. 03:29.720 --> 03:40.880 Hey listen to me, listen, you boys won't want to go away anywhere when you hear this sensational 03:40.880 --> 03:41.880 idea of mine. 03:41.880 --> 03:44.480 Oh no Sophor, you don't get a penny out of us. 03:44.480 --> 03:47.640 Oh wait a minute my boy, courage. 03:47.640 --> 03:52.240 Where would Robert Fulton be today if he had been afraid to say those magic words, let 03:52.240 --> 03:55.240 him eat cake? 03:55.240 --> 04:01.480 Remember that, remember just before he took off with Kitty Hawks? 04:01.480 --> 04:02.480 Remember? 04:02.480 --> 04:10.440 You know you sound like you learned history from a wet reader's digest. 04:10.440 --> 04:16.400 Seems too smart for you Sophor, you'll never outsmart him. 04:16.400 --> 04:17.840 Oh you think so eh? 04:17.840 --> 04:22.360 Yeah, you better talk to me. 04:22.360 --> 04:23.520 That's an excellent suggestion. 04:23.520 --> 04:28.080 Now Jerry my boy, how would you like to own your own nightclub? 04:28.080 --> 04:29.080 My own nightclub? 04:29.080 --> 04:30.080 Yeah. 04:30.080 --> 04:33.280 Oh boy, imagine me with a big nightclub right in Hollywood. 04:33.280 --> 04:37.080 See you boys are drawing a lot of cash customers into that Syro's joint for the guy that owns 04:37.080 --> 04:38.080 the place. 04:38.080 --> 04:43.120 What you ought to do is you ought to own your own nightclub. 04:43.120 --> 04:44.480 We're doing alright Sophor. 04:44.480 --> 04:49.120 Oh yeah sure you are, but when you own your own nightclub you see, you do your own act 04:49.120 --> 04:51.640 in it and the whole thing belongs to you. 04:51.640 --> 04:53.280 Now look, I'll show you. 04:53.280 --> 04:57.640 Say that Sam, your bartender, say he takes in a thousand dollars. 04:57.640 --> 04:59.680 Now who pockets the dough? 04:59.680 --> 05:00.680 We do. 05:00.680 --> 05:01.680 No, no. 05:01.680 --> 05:02.680 Sam does, he's my brother. 05:02.680 --> 05:08.320 You boys are going to do all wrong. 05:08.320 --> 05:12.640 You see at the end of the day you open the cash register and then I figure out how to 05:12.640 --> 05:13.640 divide the profits. 05:13.640 --> 05:15.940 Oh no, I'm going to take half. 05:15.940 --> 05:17.120 And I'm going to take the other half. 05:17.120 --> 05:19.640 Now wait a minute, you boys are leaving me out in the cold. 05:19.640 --> 05:20.640 Go sleep with Sam. 05:20.640 --> 05:28.480 Well I'll admit that I'd like to be in business for myself Sophor, but how could Jerry and 05:28.480 --> 05:29.480 I ever own a nightclub? 05:29.480 --> 05:33.680 Well now I happen to know of a nice little club that you could lease real cheap. 05:33.680 --> 05:35.400 Four thousand bucks. 05:35.400 --> 05:36.400 Gee. 05:36.400 --> 05:44.040 That's one of them, keep going kid, just three more G's and you're an S for it. 05:44.040 --> 05:47.640 How do you figure it'll cost us four thousand dollars to get a lease on this little club 05:47.640 --> 05:48.640 you have in mind? 05:48.640 --> 05:53.040 Well I'll tell you, there's, let's see, there's two hundred and fifty for fixtures and there's 05:53.040 --> 05:59.000 two hundred and fifty for supplies, there's five hundred for rental and there's three thousand 05:59.000 --> 06:00.000 bucks for goodwill. 06:00.000 --> 06:01.000 Three thousand for goodwill? 06:01.000 --> 06:02.000 Yeah, he's a cousin of good Sam. 06:02.000 --> 06:14.200 I just think of it kid, I can see that sign out front now, the sign that says the Martin 06:14.200 --> 06:16.080 and Lewis Club, huh? 06:16.080 --> 06:19.320 Well I am supplying the brains, it's up to you to get the money. 06:19.320 --> 06:22.320 Okay Sophor, we'll try to raise the cash somehow. 06:22.320 --> 06:26.360 Master spirit, let me know how you make out, I'll see you later. 06:26.360 --> 06:29.600 Gee Dean, I'm surprised you went for Sophor's idea so fast. 06:29.600 --> 06:33.440 I didn't go for it at first, but if we could get the money it's worth looking into. 06:33.440 --> 06:37.240 Yeah, gee a nightclub of our very own. 06:37.240 --> 06:42.320 Come in, who is it? 06:42.320 --> 06:43.320 It's me. 06:43.320 --> 06:46.320 Oh it's Florence, our secretary, how are you Florence? 06:46.320 --> 06:49.320 Oh I'm fine, I brought in your fan mail. 06:49.320 --> 06:55.320 Here's four hundred and twelve letters for you Mr. Martin and Mr. Lewis. 06:55.320 --> 06:56.320 Yes? 06:56.320 --> 07:02.040 Here's your letter. 07:02.040 --> 07:05.200 Only one letter for me, and Dean gets four hundred and twelve? 07:05.200 --> 07:09.000 Gee every day this happens, Dean gets four hundred and twelve letters and I get one. 07:09.000 --> 07:10.000 Well? 07:10.000 --> 07:13.320 Well I'm getting sick of the do here, sick sick sick. 07:13.320 --> 07:21.960 Hey Florence, what would you say if I told you that Sophie's got a deal where Dean and 07:21.960 --> 07:22.960 I will own a nightclub? 07:22.960 --> 07:26.680 Oh that would be wonderful, but where do I fit in? 07:26.680 --> 07:28.840 I couldn't be your secretary anymore. 07:28.840 --> 07:31.800 Well maybe you could do something else, maybe you could be the cigarette girl. 07:31.800 --> 07:36.680 Oh I couldn't be a cigarette girl, I don't smoke. 07:36.680 --> 07:43.040 Florence, you don't have to smoke, you just sell the smokes to customers, and just think 07:43.040 --> 07:45.200 you could wear an abbreviated costume. 07:45.200 --> 07:51.760 Oh no, Florence McMifle doesn't walk around in any abbreviated costume. 07:51.760 --> 07:52.760 Why not? 07:52.760 --> 07:55.760 I don't want people to see my initials. 07:55.760 --> 08:05.680 Alright Florence, you can wear any costume you want. 08:05.680 --> 08:08.640 I wonder if I could really sell cigarettes. 08:08.640 --> 08:12.600 Let's see, how does that slogan go again? 08:12.600 --> 08:20.240 Call for Max Morris, call for Max Morris. 08:20.240 --> 08:21.240 Max Morris? 08:21.240 --> 08:22.240 Yeah, he's a nephew of Sam. 08:22.240 --> 08:23.240 Florence, you don't seem to understand what we're talking about at all. 08:23.240 --> 08:34.240 Well I don't know much about nightclubs, I've only been to one in my whole life. 08:34.240 --> 08:35.240 Really? 08:35.240 --> 08:36.240 What one was that? 08:36.240 --> 08:37.240 Florentine Gardens? 08:37.240 --> 08:38.240 Macombo? 08:38.240 --> 08:41.240 No, it was that other one, Flapsy Missy's. 08:41.240 --> 08:43.320 Flapsy messy? 08:43.320 --> 08:54.600 Florence, it's not Slapsy Messy's, it's Sloppy Messy's. 08:54.600 --> 09:01.080 I'll see you later, bye. 09:01.080 --> 09:11.000 Look, where do people go when they need money? 09:11.000 --> 09:12.000 To a loan company. 09:12.000 --> 09:13.680 Hey, that's not a bad idea, Jerry. 09:13.680 --> 09:17.200 I'll tell you what, you look up the address of the nearest loan company and meanwhile 09:17.200 --> 09:20.520 I'll just run over one of the songs I'm going to sing tonight at Sears, how's that? 09:20.520 --> 09:30.720 Oh, that would be just Cardinal Sing It Man. 09:30.720 --> 09:45.640 Where are you now that I need you now that I want you so badly I could cry 09:45.640 --> 09:52.920 Where are you where did fate lead you 09:52.920 --> 10:00.040 Funny how I dream you'd still be standing by 10:00.040 --> 10:08.800 I had you at my beck and call I called you anytime at all 10:08.800 --> 10:16.440 I guess it took too much for granted I never thought I'd lie awake and sigh 10:16.440 --> 10:26.440 Where are you now that I need you now that I love you 10:26.440 --> 10:31.480 So madly I could die 10:31.480 --> 10:40.360 I had you at my beck and call I called you anytime at all 10:40.360 --> 10:48.400 I guess it took too much for granted I never thought I'd lie awake and sigh 10:48.400 --> 10:58.120 Where are you now that I need you now that I love you 10:58.120 --> 11:06.120 So madly I could die 11:06.120 --> 11:21.120 You know, Jerry, I hope we can swing this deal. 11:21.120 --> 11:24.400 I've sort of fallen in love with the idea of owning our own nightclub, being our own 11:24.400 --> 11:26.280 bosses and working for ourselves. 11:26.280 --> 11:27.760 Yeah, me too. 11:27.760 --> 11:29.320 I can hardly wait to get started. 11:29.320 --> 11:32.960 Well, here's the loan company office. 11:32.960 --> 11:35.640 The confidential loan company. 11:35.640 --> 11:36.640 Let's go in. 11:36.640 --> 11:40.120 Pardon me, mister. 11:40.120 --> 11:42.640 Are you connected with the confidential loan company? 11:42.640 --> 11:43.640 That's right. 11:43.640 --> 11:48.240 Come right into my private office. 11:48.240 --> 11:56.960 Look, mister, we're Martin and Lewis. 11:56.960 --> 11:57.960 Oh, yes. 11:57.960 --> 12:00.520 I saw your picture in Quick Magazine. 12:00.520 --> 12:01.920 You're the pixelated pair. 12:01.920 --> 12:03.760 Well, that's right. 12:03.760 --> 12:04.760 Let me handle this, Dean. 12:04.760 --> 12:06.200 Look, mister, I'll come right to the point. 12:06.200 --> 12:07.760 I'm Jerry Lewis, the comedian. 12:07.760 --> 12:08.760 So let's snap it right up. 12:08.760 --> 12:09.760 What do you say? 12:09.760 --> 12:10.760 I'll just take $4,000. 12:10.760 --> 12:13.200 Well, let's see. 12:13.200 --> 12:14.920 Anything of value in the way of assets? 12:14.920 --> 12:18.080 Well, I got a life insurance policy for $1,000. 12:18.080 --> 12:19.600 How much premium do you pay? 12:19.600 --> 12:21.600 $1,000 a year. 12:21.600 --> 12:26.040 Jerry, you pay $1,000 a year for $1,000 worth of life insurance? 12:26.040 --> 12:27.040 Yeah. 12:27.040 --> 12:28.360 You're in a tough spot. 12:28.360 --> 12:31.800 You lose money if you die and you can't afford to go on living. 12:31.800 --> 12:36.640 I'm afraid your insurance isn't worth very much. 12:36.640 --> 12:37.840 Tell you what. 12:37.840 --> 12:42.480 Why don't you take out a note for the money and get a co-signer to guarantee it for you? 12:42.480 --> 12:43.960 A who's signer? 12:43.960 --> 12:44.960 A co-signer. 12:44.960 --> 12:47.480 Do you happen to know a respectable party? 12:47.480 --> 12:53.760 No, but I can take you to one tonight where they play spin the bottle. 12:53.760 --> 12:56.480 I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding somebody. 12:56.480 --> 12:59.840 Look, my files are full of co-signed notes. 12:59.840 --> 13:02.320 Here's one co-signed for the Second National Bank. 13:02.320 --> 13:04.400 Here's another co-signed by Victor Moore. 13:04.400 --> 13:05.400 And here's another one... 13:05.400 --> 13:06.400 I get the idea, mister. 13:06.400 --> 13:07.400 Thanks a lot. 13:07.400 --> 13:08.400 I think I know where I can get a co-signer. 13:08.400 --> 13:09.400 Come on, Dean. 13:09.400 --> 13:10.400 So long. 13:10.400 --> 13:13.680 Jerry, what was the idea of rushing me out of there? 13:13.680 --> 13:14.680 Didn't you hear him, Dean? 13:14.680 --> 13:16.400 He said Victor Moore. 13:16.400 --> 13:17.400 Co-signed one of those notes. 13:17.400 --> 13:18.400 What about it? 13:18.400 --> 13:19.400 Well, he's an actor. 13:19.400 --> 13:20.400 He's in show business. 13:20.400 --> 13:21.400 I bet he'll help us out. 13:21.400 --> 13:23.160 Yeah, my work at that, Jerry. 13:23.160 --> 13:24.160 Come on. 13:24.160 --> 13:25.160 We can't lose anything by going to see him. 13:25.160 --> 13:34.360 Yes, come in. 13:34.360 --> 13:35.360 Mr. Moore? 13:35.360 --> 13:38.360 Yes, I'm Victor Moore. 13:38.360 --> 13:50.800 Say, will you excuse me a moment? 13:50.800 --> 13:51.800 I'm on the telephone. 13:51.800 --> 13:52.800 Well, sure. 13:52.800 --> 13:54.800 Go right ahead. 13:54.800 --> 14:02.880 And James, call the laundry and tell them to put more starch in my union suit next week. 14:02.880 --> 14:07.680 I fell down three times this morning before I found out what was wrong. 14:07.680 --> 14:16.640 And be sure to tell the cook to boil my breakfast egg tomorrow, full, three minutes. 14:16.640 --> 14:17.640 That's all. 14:17.640 --> 14:18.640 Goodbye. 14:18.640 --> 14:21.840 Gee, you're very particular about your food, aren't you, Mr. Moore? 14:21.840 --> 14:23.760 I have to be. 14:23.760 --> 14:28.840 Our eggs here are so fresh that when the cook doesn't boil them long enough, it's nip and 14:28.840 --> 14:38.360 tuck who eats who. 14:38.360 --> 14:40.160 But enough of this small talk. 14:40.160 --> 14:41.680 Now, what do you suppose one? 14:41.680 --> 14:42.680 Well, I'm Dean Martin. 14:42.680 --> 14:45.320 This is my partner, Jerry Lewis, and we're trying to buy a nightclub. 14:45.320 --> 14:46.320 We need help. 14:46.320 --> 14:49.320 Well, I sure hope you find some. 14:49.320 --> 14:54.920 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go. 14:54.920 --> 14:56.040 Wait a minute, Mr. Moore. 14:56.040 --> 14:59.920 We thought that you might like to help a couple of young fellows in show business. 14:59.920 --> 15:03.840 Gee, didn't anyone ever help you when you were starting out? 15:03.840 --> 15:05.600 Well, yes. 15:05.600 --> 15:11.120 I was taught to play the trumpet by a friendly seal. 15:11.120 --> 15:17.120 Aw, come on, Mr. Moore. 15:17.120 --> 15:18.760 You must be kidding us. 15:18.760 --> 15:20.800 Yes, of course I was. 15:20.800 --> 15:24.840 I used that joke in Louisiana Purchase back in 1940. 15:24.840 --> 15:28.720 Maybe so, but I don't know much about show business back in those old days. 15:28.720 --> 15:36.360 Please, Mr. Moore, I really didn't mean anything by that. 15:36.360 --> 15:38.920 All I meant was that you've been a big star for years. 15:38.920 --> 15:42.160 You were acting on a stage before I was even born. 15:42.160 --> 15:44.360 And just when will that be? 15:44.360 --> 15:50.680 I didn't mean what I said either, Jerry. 15:50.680 --> 15:54.200 As a matter of fact, I've heard that you're a very funny comedian. 15:54.200 --> 15:58.200 Oh, I'm not half as funny as you are, Mr. Moore. 15:58.200 --> 16:00.720 Oh, oh, yes, you are. 16:00.720 --> 16:02.720 Oh, no, I'm not. 16:02.720 --> 16:05.720 Well, maybe you're right. 16:05.720 --> 16:12.720 Try to be nice to a guy and he kills you. 16:12.720 --> 16:17.400 Mr. Moore, the real reason we're here is to ask you to cosign a note. 16:17.400 --> 16:20.520 You see, we're trying to raise $4,000 to buy a nightclub. 16:20.520 --> 16:23.080 And the man at the loan company said we have to get a cosigner. 16:23.080 --> 16:25.600 Oh, I'm afraid I couldn't do that. 16:25.600 --> 16:28.360 I wouldn't have anything to do with a nightclub. 16:28.360 --> 16:31.280 How long has it been since you've been in a nightclub? 16:31.280 --> 16:34.000 Well, let's see. 16:34.000 --> 16:38.480 I guess it was about 1890 at the St. Louis World's Fair. 16:38.480 --> 16:45.800 They had the French Can-Can dances, but you boys are too young to hear about that. 16:45.800 --> 16:48.320 Mr. Moore, nightclubs are different today now. 16:48.320 --> 16:49.560 They're real nice places. 16:49.560 --> 16:53.840 Look, why don't you come over to the Ciro's tonight and watch Jerry and me do our act? 16:53.840 --> 16:58.440 Oh, that'd keep me up past my bedtime. 16:58.440 --> 17:03.440 I don't think I'd be happy there. 17:03.440 --> 17:04.640 What? 17:04.640 --> 17:11.240 I don't think I'd be happy there. 17:11.240 --> 17:16.960 Yeah, I know what you mean. 17:16.960 --> 17:19.960 Can I say something, fellas? 17:19.960 --> 17:29.560 Look, Mr. Moore, I'm sorry if you don't like nightclubs, but after all, you want to be 17:29.560 --> 17:31.360 fair about this, don't you? 17:31.360 --> 17:32.360 Well, yes. 17:32.360 --> 17:33.720 Then it's all settled. 17:33.720 --> 17:36.640 You come down to Ciro's tonight at 9 o'clock and be our guest. 17:36.640 --> 17:40.400 And when you see how nice the nightclub is, you'll be glad to cosign our note. 17:40.400 --> 17:41.400 Well, okay, Jerry. 17:41.400 --> 17:42.400 I'll see you at 9. 17:42.400 --> 17:43.400 Bye. 17:43.400 --> 17:44.400 Bye. 17:44.400 --> 17:59.520 Hey, Florence, this was a good idea I had, getting you a job as a cigarette girl here 17:59.520 --> 18:00.520 at Ciro's. 18:00.520 --> 18:03.080 When we get our own club, you'll know all about it then. 18:03.080 --> 18:04.080 Florence? 18:04.080 --> 18:07.760 Hey, Florence, come on out from behind the screen. 18:07.760 --> 18:10.120 You must have your cigarette girl costume on by now. 18:10.120 --> 18:13.120 Well, yeah, I have, but I'm bashful. 18:13.120 --> 18:18.440 This little fluffy ballet skirt is so short and I'm so skinny. 18:18.440 --> 18:19.440 Oh, well. 18:19.440 --> 18:22.440 Well, what do you think? 18:22.440 --> 18:25.440 Florence, you look great, just like a real cigarette girl. 18:25.440 --> 18:30.040 Well, I think I look more like somebody stuck a pipe cleaner through a Dr. Scholl's foot 18:30.040 --> 18:31.040 pad. 18:31.040 --> 18:37.160 Oh, you look fine. 18:37.160 --> 18:38.840 You'll do great selling cigarettes, Florence. 18:38.840 --> 18:40.500 Well, I'll try, but I'm worried. 18:40.500 --> 18:44.400 What if I run into some drunk who's fallen on the floor? 18:44.400 --> 18:45.400 Oh, that's easy. 18:45.400 --> 18:48.580 Just tell him a lucky so he can feel his level best. 18:48.580 --> 18:53.760 Tell him a lucky so he can feel his level best. 18:53.760 --> 18:54.760 I'll be all right. 18:54.760 --> 18:56.820 Well, here I go. 18:56.820 --> 18:59.320 Cigarettes, cigarettes, cars, cars. 18:59.320 --> 19:02.320 My cigarettes call for Max Mori. 19:02.320 --> 19:05.080 I'll see you later, Florence. 19:05.080 --> 19:07.080 I gotta introduce Dean's song. 19:07.080 --> 19:13.080 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Ciro's. 19:13.080 --> 19:17.680 Right now, I'd like to present that handsome young fella whose romantic voice has been 19:17.680 --> 19:19.320 thrilling the whole country lately. 19:19.320 --> 19:25.840 However, I have a sore throat tonight, so my partner Dean Martin will sing instead. 19:25.840 --> 19:29.840 Thank you, mighty Joe Young. 19:29.840 --> 19:35.360 Ladies and gentlemen, the number Jerry is going to let me sing is one I do in the Hal 19:35.360 --> 19:42.360 Wallace picture, my friend Irma, called Just For Fun. 19:42.360 --> 20:02.360 Love me, love me, say you love me, just for fun. 20:02.360 --> 20:15.360 Cough, whee, sigh it, try it, try it, just for fun. 20:15.360 --> 20:27.360 If you're close to me, maybe you'll agree. 20:27.360 --> 20:39.360 Here at hand, that magic land, we're seeking constant rain. 20:39.360 --> 20:52.360 Tingle, tingle, quite we mingle, just for fun. 20:52.360 --> 21:05.360 Let's pretend we'll never end what we've begun. 21:05.360 --> 21:28.360 For if we play it long, we may stay in love, then you'll be glad you tried it, just for 21:28.360 --> 21:36.360 fun. 21:36.360 --> 21:49.360 More, Irma! 21:49.360 --> 21:55.360 More, let's hear another song here. 21:55.360 --> 21:56.360 What do you say? 21:56.360 --> 22:00.360 Please, please, young man, you're stirring up a draft. 22:00.360 --> 22:04.360 Hi, Mr. Moore, it's me, Jerry Lewis. 22:04.360 --> 22:06.360 Hey, what are you doing sitting back here? 22:06.360 --> 22:08.360 We had a table reserved for you down front. 22:08.360 --> 22:10.360 I asked for this table. 22:10.360 --> 22:15.360 I have to be close to the wall so I can plug in my heating pad. 22:15.360 --> 22:20.360 How do you like my club so far? 22:20.360 --> 22:22.360 I'm not very happy. 22:22.360 --> 22:28.360 It's so crowded in here and the lights are so low it isn't safe. 22:28.360 --> 22:30.360 Well, what do you mean? 22:30.360 --> 22:44.360 I bent over to tie my shoe when the lady at the next table started buttering me. 22:44.360 --> 22:48.360 She thought I was an onion roll. 22:48.360 --> 22:49.360 You should complain. 22:49.360 --> 22:53.360 Yesterday a guy tried to break me in half, he thought I was a bread stick. 22:53.360 --> 22:57.360 It's so stuffy. 22:57.360 --> 23:01.360 The smoke is so thick you could cut it with a knife. 23:01.360 --> 23:02.360 I know. 23:02.360 --> 23:06.360 And try a piece with ice cream on it, it's delicious. 23:06.360 --> 23:12.360 Well, I thank you boys for your invitation, but I don't think I'd better stay any longer. 23:12.360 --> 23:13.360 Oh, Mr. Moore, you can't go. 23:13.360 --> 23:17.360 You haven't co-signed our notes so we can buy the nightclub we told you about. 23:17.360 --> 23:21.360 Oh, I've decided I don't want anything to do with the nightclub. 23:21.360 --> 23:29.360 They haven't got anything that appeals to a vital red-blooded man like some French girls doing the can-can. 23:29.360 --> 23:31.360 The can-can? 23:31.360 --> 23:36.360 That would make a good opener. 23:36.360 --> 23:42.360 You stay right here with the table, Mr. Moore, and I'll see that you meet a real French can-can dancer. 23:42.360 --> 23:44.360 Hey, Jerry, hey, how's it going? 23:44.360 --> 23:46.360 Oh, boy, am I glad to see you, Dean. 23:46.360 --> 23:47.360 Mr. Moore wants to go home. 23:47.360 --> 23:49.360 You better go over to the table and talk to him. 23:49.360 --> 23:50.360 I gotta find someone for him. 23:50.360 --> 23:51.360 Okay, now. 23:51.360 --> 23:53.360 Hurry back. 23:53.360 --> 23:57.360 Where am I gonna find a French can-can dancer? 23:57.360 --> 24:02.360 This would happen on a one night I didn't wear my DVDs with the ruffles. 24:02.360 --> 24:05.360 French can-can girl. 24:05.360 --> 24:07.360 French can-can girl. 24:07.360 --> 24:12.360 Bigger red skull for Max Morris. 24:12.360 --> 24:13.360 Florence. 24:13.360 --> 24:15.360 Hey, Florence, we're on the spot and you gotta help us. 24:15.360 --> 24:17.360 You have to pretend you're a French girl. 24:17.360 --> 24:19.360 Oh, I couldn't do that, Mr. Lewis. 24:19.360 --> 24:21.360 Well, it'll be easy to fool Mr. Moore. 24:21.360 --> 24:30.360 All you have to know are a few French words like, uh, oui, oui, monsieur, um, crape-sous-et, and, um, general de Gaulle. 24:30.360 --> 24:32.360 Just those few. 24:32.360 --> 24:38.360 Oui, oui, monsieur, crape-sous-et, general de Gaulle, just those few. 24:38.360 --> 24:39.360 Just those few. 24:39.360 --> 24:43.360 Come on now and I'll introduce you to Mr. Moore. 24:43.360 --> 24:46.360 Pardon me, Dean, Mr. Moore. 24:46.360 --> 24:48.360 I'd like to present a very charming friend of mine. 24:48.360 --> 24:50.360 You've heard of Madame Pompadour? 24:50.360 --> 24:52.360 Oh, yes, yes, of course. 24:52.360 --> 24:59.360 Well, meet Mademoiselle Crew Cut. 24:59.360 --> 25:05.360 Well, of course, of course we call her Mimi here at the club, Mr. Moore, and you know what? 25:05.360 --> 25:08.360 Mimi is just crazy about older men. 25:08.360 --> 25:11.360 Ah, I kiss your hand, Mademoiselle. 25:11.360 --> 25:16.360 Ah, Mimi, can you imagine the boys here think I'm an older man? 25:16.360 --> 25:19.360 Oui, oui, monsieur. 25:19.360 --> 25:20.360 Well, don't say that, Mimi. 25:20.360 --> 25:26.360 I may not be a youngster anymore, but you've got to admit I'm built like a, like a... 25:26.360 --> 25:31.360 Crape-sous-et. 25:31.360 --> 25:34.360 Ah, Mimi, Mimi, you're so lovely. 25:34.360 --> 25:37.360 Your eyes, your lips, your figure. 25:37.360 --> 25:39.360 You know what you remind me of? 25:39.360 --> 25:43.360 General de Gaulle. 25:43.360 --> 25:46.360 Come, come, sit close to me, charrie. 25:46.360 --> 25:49.360 There, now run your fingers through my hair. 25:49.360 --> 25:56.360 Justo spieu. 25:56.360 --> 25:57.360 Justo spieu? 25:57.360 --> 25:58.360 Crape-sous-et. 25:58.360 --> 25:59.360 General de Gaulle. 25:59.360 --> 26:00.360 Oui, oui, monsieur. 26:00.360 --> 26:02.360 Donnie, je vous aime beaucoup. 26:02.360 --> 26:05.360 Inimini, minimoo. 26:05.360 --> 26:09.360 Well, Mr. Moore, do you like night clubs a little better now? 26:09.360 --> 26:10.360 Yeah, you bet. 26:10.360 --> 26:11.360 I'm really living. 26:11.360 --> 26:13.360 Oh, pack up my parachute, mother. 26:13.360 --> 26:20.360 I'm flying tonight. 26:20.360 --> 26:24.360 Florence, snog go up to him a little closer. 26:24.360 --> 26:26.360 Florence, I thought you said her name was... 26:26.360 --> 26:27.360 Mimi. 26:27.360 --> 26:28.360 General de Gaulle. 26:28.360 --> 26:29.360 Crape-sous-et. 26:29.360 --> 26:30.360 Oui, oui, monsieur. 26:30.360 --> 26:31.360 Darling, je vous aime beaucoup. 26:31.360 --> 26:32.360 Stop that. 26:32.360 --> 26:34.360 Why did you call this girl Florence? 26:34.360 --> 26:37.360 Mimi, I think he's on to you. 26:37.360 --> 26:39.360 Well, it's no use, Jerry. 26:39.360 --> 26:42.360 Mr. Moore knows Florence isn't really a French girl. 26:42.360 --> 26:44.360 Of course, I was on to it all the time. 26:44.360 --> 26:48.360 I knew you invited me down here to get me to sign that note. 26:48.360 --> 26:53.360 But you worked so hard to make me happy, you even tried to get a can-can, girl. 26:53.360 --> 26:56.360 I decided you're a good risk after all. 26:56.360 --> 26:59.360 You mean you'll sign a note for us? 26:59.360 --> 27:01.360 Yes, on one condition. 27:01.360 --> 27:05.360 Florence, you'll have to let me drive you home tonight. 27:05.360 --> 27:06.360 Drive me home? 27:06.360 --> 27:07.360 That's right. 27:07.360 --> 27:08.360 How about it? 27:08.360 --> 27:16.360 Dee dum dee dum dum dum dum do do do. 27:16.360 --> 27:18.360 Okay, boys, give me that note. 27:18.360 --> 27:20.360 I'll co-sign it. 27:20.360 --> 27:21.360 There. 27:21.360 --> 27:22.360 Well, come on, Florence. 27:22.360 --> 27:23.360 I'm right with you. 27:23.360 --> 27:26.360 Oh, mother, you better hurry with that parachute. 27:26.360 --> 27:29.360 I'm falling fast. 27:29.360 --> 27:31.360 Come on, Mr. Moore. 27:31.360 --> 27:44.360 Thanks, everyone. 27:44.360 --> 27:48.360 Gee, Dean, isn't it wonderful now we can bar to $4,000 and have our own nightclub? 27:48.360 --> 27:50.360 Yeah, no more working for somebody else. 27:50.360 --> 27:53.360 Every night we'll take the profits and divide them evenly. 27:53.360 --> 27:56.360 60-40. 27:56.360 --> 27:58.360 60-40? 27:58.360 --> 28:00.360 What happened to 50-50? 28:00.360 --> 28:03.360 Jerry, you don't even understand simple arithmetic. 28:03.360 --> 28:05.360 Look, how much is 50-50? 28:05.360 --> 28:07.360 100. 28:07.360 --> 28:09.360 How much is 60-40? 28:09.360 --> 28:10.360 100. 28:10.360 --> 28:14.360 See, it comes out the same. 28:14.360 --> 28:17.360 Oh, yeah, it does. 28:17.360 --> 28:18.360 Gee, Dean, I'm so silly. 28:18.360 --> 28:24.360 For a minute there I thought you were trying to gyp me. 28:24.360 --> 28:28.360 Good night, see you next week. 28:28.360 --> 28:33.360 Good night, Mom and Dad. 28:33.360 --> 28:37.360 Well, the Martin Lewis Show Transcribed in Hollywood is produced by Robert L. Redden, 28:37.360 --> 28:41.360 written by Ray Allen and Dick McKnight with Cy Rose and Mort Lockett. 28:41.360 --> 28:43.360 Next week our guest will be Billy Burke. 28:43.360 --> 28:47.360 This is Ben Alexander, suggesting you tune in to your NBC station each Tuesday evening 28:47.360 --> 28:54.360 at the same time for the Martin and Lewis Show. 28:54.360 --> 29:21.360 This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.