WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:02.000 Jerry! 00:02.000 --> 00:04.000 Hey, Jerry! 00:04.000 --> 00:06.000 You got a cigarette? 00:06.000 --> 00:08.000 Have I got a cigarette? 00:08.000 --> 00:10.000 Dean, I've got these cigarettes. 00:10.000 --> 00:12.000 You mean Chesterfield? 00:12.000 --> 00:14.000 I mean Chesterfield. 00:14.000 --> 00:16.000 I'm with you. 00:16.000 --> 00:18.000 Which means that Chesterfield, the first cigarette in America 00:18.000 --> 00:20.000 to give you premium quality in both 00:20.000 --> 00:22.000 regular and king size, 00:22.000 --> 00:24.000 brings you the Dean Martin and Jerry Louis 00:24.000 --> 00:26.000 of the New York Times. 00:26.000 --> 00:28.000 And the first cigarette in America 00:28.000 --> 00:30.000 brings you the Dean Martin and Jerry Louis show. 00:30.000 --> 00:32.000 Applause 00:32.000 --> 00:34.000 Applause 00:34.000 --> 00:36.000 Applause 00:36.000 --> 00:38.000 Applause 00:38.000 --> 00:40.000 Applause 00:40.000 --> 00:42.000 Music 00:42.000 --> 00:44.000 Listen friends, get red, get white 00:44.000 --> 00:46.000 by Chesterfield, regular or king size 00:46.000 --> 00:48.000 Either way the best of smokes 00:48.000 --> 00:50.000 Best possible smoke for all you folks 00:50.000 --> 00:52.000 Sound off for Chesterfield 00:52.000 --> 00:54.000 Sound off for Chesterfield 00:54.000 --> 00:56.000 Try a pack of Chesterfield 00:56.000 --> 00:58.000 today 00:58.000 --> 01:00.000 Music 01:00.000 --> 01:02.000 Music 01:02.000 --> 01:04.000 Music 01:04.000 --> 01:06.000 Music 01:06.000 --> 01:08.000 And now ladies and gentlemen 01:08.000 --> 01:10.000 it's my pleasure to bring you our 01:10.000 --> 01:12.000 master of ceremonies, Dean Martin! 01:12.000 --> 01:14.000 Applause 01:14.000 --> 01:16.000 Applause 01:16.000 --> 01:18.000 Applause 01:18.000 --> 01:20.000 Applause 01:20.000 --> 01:22.000 Now the cruise is rolled around, which means another 01:22.000 --> 01:24.000 thirty minutes of fun and frivolity with the 01:24.000 --> 01:26.000 old Chesterfield crew. I see our 01:26.000 --> 01:28.000 producer in the booth giving me that let's go 01:28.000 --> 01:30.000 single, so if our maestro Dixie Bill 01:30.000 --> 01:32.000 will give me the downbeat, I'd like to start things 01:32.000 --> 01:34.000 off with Pretty Baby 01:34.000 --> 01:36.000 Music 01:36.000 --> 01:38.000 Music 01:38.000 --> 01:40.000 Music 01:40.000 --> 01:42.000 Music 01:42.000 --> 01:44.000 Everybody loves a baby 01:44.000 --> 01:46.000 that's why I'm in love with you 01:46.000 --> 01:48.000 Pretty Baby 01:48.000 --> 01:50.000 Pretty Baby 01:50.000 --> 01:52.000 And I'd like to be 01:52.000 --> 01:54.000 your sister, brother, dad 01:54.000 --> 01:56.000 and mother too 01:56.000 --> 01:58.000 Pretty Baby 01:58.000 --> 02:00.000 Pretty Baby 02:00.000 --> 02:02.000 Won't you come and let me rock 02:02.000 --> 02:04.000 you in my cradle of love 02:04.000 --> 02:06.000 We'll cuddle 02:06.000 --> 02:08.000 all the time 02:08.000 --> 02:10.000 Oh I want 02:10.000 --> 02:12.000 a loving baby 02:12.000 --> 02:14.000 and it might as well be you 02:14.000 --> 02:16.000 Pretty Baby 02:16.000 --> 02:18.000 is mine 02:18.000 --> 02:20.000 Music 02:20.000 --> 02:22.000 Music 02:22.000 --> 02:24.000 Pretty Baby 02:24.000 --> 02:26.000 Oh Baby 02:26.000 --> 02:28.000 Music 02:28.000 --> 02:30.000 Music 02:30.000 --> 02:32.000 Pretty Baby 02:32.000 --> 02:34.000 Pretty Baby 02:34.000 --> 02:36.000 Won't you come and let me rock 02:36.000 --> 02:38.000 you in my cradle of love 02:38.000 --> 02:40.000 We'll cuddle 02:40.000 --> 02:42.000 all the time 02:42.000 --> 02:44.000 Oh I want 02:44.000 --> 02:46.000 a loving baby 02:46.000 --> 02:48.000 and it might as well be you 02:48.000 --> 02:50.000 Pretty Baby 02:50.000 --> 02:52.000 is mine 02:52.000 --> 02:54.000 Oh Dear 02:54.000 --> 02:56.000 Pretty Baby 02:56.000 --> 02:58.000 is mine 02:58.000 --> 03:00.000 Music 03:00.000 --> 03:02.000 Music 03:02.000 --> 03:04.000 Music 03:04.000 --> 03:06.000 Music 03:06.000 --> 03:08.000 Music 03:08.000 --> 03:10.000 Music 03:10.000 --> 03:12.000 Music 03:12.000 --> 03:14.000 Music 03:14.000 --> 03:16.000 Music 03:16.000 --> 03:18.000 Nobody can do it 03:18.000 --> 03:20.000 Audiencedefense 03:20.000 --> 03:22.000 Applause 03:22.000 --> 03:24.000 flowers 03:24.000 --> 03:26.000 Well what's up Gerry, what's all the excitement? 03:26.000 --> 03:28.000 Guys Dean, I can't find it 03:28.000 --> 03:30.000 Have you seen my tongue? 03:30.000 --> 03:32.000 Your tongue? 03:32.000 --> 03:34.000 But Gerry, you have your tongue 03:34.000 --> 03:36.000 It's that long curved thing that wabbles around in your mouth 03:36.000 --> 03:38.000 You sure thats my tongue? 03:38.000 --> 03:40.000 Well of course 03:40.000 --> 03:42.000 Good heavens, somebody stole my shoo horn 03:42.000 --> 03:44.000 Laughter 03:44.000 --> 03:45.840 You're an idiot. You know that, you're an idiot. 03:45.840 --> 03:48.200 Why don't you settle down and get yourself a hobby? 03:48.200 --> 03:49.800 Something to do in your spare time, huh? 03:49.800 --> 03:50.800 Oh, I got something to do, Dean. 03:50.800 --> 03:52.480 I just took a special job with NBC. 03:52.480 --> 03:54.400 I'm in charge of selling all the radio shows. 03:54.400 --> 03:56.120 You can be my first customer, too. 03:56.120 --> 03:58.440 You want to buy a daytime serial program? 03:58.440 --> 03:59.720 Look, I'm glad you have a job, 03:59.720 --> 04:02.120 but I don't want to buy a daytime serial program. 04:02.120 --> 04:04.800 Oh, but this is one... Oh, boy, what a corker it is. 04:04.800 --> 04:07.160 It's called The Third Mrs. Burton. 04:07.160 --> 04:09.480 It's the story of a small, barefooted boy 04:09.480 --> 04:13.480 who grew up to be a large, barefooted boy. 04:13.480 --> 04:14.960 No, Jerry, I don't think I... 04:14.960 --> 04:17.000 It's the story that asks the question, 04:17.000 --> 04:20.160 can a girl who was married to a gopher be happy with a mole? 04:20.160 --> 04:22.360 LAUGHTER 04:22.360 --> 04:24.120 Jerry, once and for all, 04:24.120 --> 04:26.600 I'm not interested in buying a soap opera. 04:26.600 --> 04:28.720 Then maybe I can sell you a giveaway show. 04:28.720 --> 04:30.000 I got one giveaway program 04:30.000 --> 04:32.120 that's especially written for unemployed people. 04:32.120 --> 04:33.920 It's called The Big Layoff. 04:33.920 --> 04:35.360 LAUGHTER 04:35.360 --> 04:36.360 No, Jerry, I don't... 04:36.360 --> 04:37.400 And not about a dramatic show. 04:37.400 --> 04:40.720 This one's all about a girl who is 24 feet tall 04:40.720 --> 04:42.720 and weighs 6,000 pounds. 04:42.720 --> 04:44.240 What's it called? 04:44.240 --> 04:45.720 Big sister. Big sister. 04:45.720 --> 04:47.400 LAUGHTER 04:47.400 --> 04:48.720 Well, that figures. 04:48.720 --> 04:51.320 LAUGHTER 04:51.320 --> 04:53.120 Now that you've got that one off your chest, 04:53.120 --> 04:54.120 let's drop it, huh? 04:54.120 --> 04:55.440 I don't want to buy a radio program. 04:55.440 --> 04:56.880 Besides, I don't have enough money. 04:56.880 --> 04:57.880 You don't? 04:57.880 --> 04:59.880 I can't even support my wife and five lawyers. 04:59.880 --> 05:04.880 LAUGHTER 05:04.880 --> 05:08.000 That's all the more reason why you want to invest in something good. 05:08.000 --> 05:10.520 Look, we have a wonderful music group here at NBC, 05:10.520 --> 05:11.840 and you can have them real cheap. 05:11.840 --> 05:13.920 Really? Well, what's the combination? 05:13.920 --> 05:16.720 Well, they've got three washboards, first, second and alto. 05:16.720 --> 05:18.080 LAUGHTER 05:18.080 --> 05:21.080 Then there's an old man with asthma in the key of C sharp. 05:21.080 --> 05:22.560 LAUGHTER 05:22.560 --> 05:25.920 And they have a wonderful new instrument that gives them the beat. 05:25.920 --> 05:26.920 What's that? 05:26.920 --> 05:28.120 A stopped-up sink. 05:28.120 --> 05:30.320 LAUGHTER 05:30.320 --> 05:33.160 You know, I think I'm getting just a little tired of Jerry Lewis. 05:33.160 --> 05:35.440 All right, suppose I become Florence Dank. 05:35.440 --> 05:37.160 LAUGHTER 05:37.160 --> 05:38.400 And who is Florence Dank? 05:38.400 --> 05:41.120 Only the greatest channel swimmer the world has ever known. 05:41.120 --> 05:43.880 All righty, ladies and gentlemen, for our first guest, 05:43.880 --> 05:46.880 it becomes my pleasure to introduce the world's greatest lady swimmer, 05:46.880 --> 05:49.440 a girl who has swum across every channel known to man, 05:49.440 --> 05:50.720 Miss Florence Dank. 05:50.720 --> 05:53.400 Miss Dank, they told me what a great swimmer you are, 05:53.400 --> 05:55.640 but frankly, I had no idea you were so attractive. 05:55.640 --> 05:57.440 Oh, I'm not really so attractive, Mr Martin. 05:57.440 --> 05:59.320 Of course, I do have a stunning figure. 05:59.320 --> 06:01.840 LAUGHTER 06:01.840 --> 06:05.440 My nose is adorable, my lips are luscious, my eyes are dreamy, 06:05.440 --> 06:07.440 and my complexion is simply divine. 06:07.440 --> 06:09.840 But good heavens, I wouldn't say I'm attractive. 06:09.840 --> 06:11.440 LAUGHTER 06:11.440 --> 06:12.840 What are you, then? 06:12.840 --> 06:14.040 I'm gorgeous. 06:14.040 --> 06:15.720 LAUGHTER 06:15.720 --> 06:18.640 Well, it's no wonder. You must take very good care of yourself. 06:18.640 --> 06:21.840 Oh, certainly. What other woman gets a grease job every thousand miles? 06:21.840 --> 06:28.840 LAUGHTER 06:28.840 --> 06:30.640 Getting back to your appearance, 06:30.640 --> 06:34.040 would you say that being a channel swimmer has helped improve the way you look? 06:34.040 --> 06:36.040 No question about it, Mr Martin. Take my hair. 06:36.040 --> 06:38.640 It used to look like dry, shredded wheat. 06:38.640 --> 06:40.640 Now, can you believe a thing like that? 06:40.640 --> 06:41.640 LAUGHTER 06:41.640 --> 06:45.040 But after ten years of swimming every day, you know what it looks like? 06:45.040 --> 06:45.840 What? 06:45.840 --> 06:47.240 Wet, shredded wheat. 06:47.240 --> 06:50.040 LAUGHTER 06:50.040 --> 06:52.840 Hey, that sounds like quite a problem for your hairdresser. 06:52.840 --> 06:55.840 Oh, it certainly is, Mr Martin. After my last channel swim. 06:55.840 --> 06:57.840 Now, just listen to this. I am, I'm listening. 06:57.840 --> 07:01.040 LAUGHTER 07:01.040 --> 07:02.840 I went to my hairdresser for a shampoo, 07:02.840 --> 07:04.840 and you'll never guess what she found in my hair. 07:04.840 --> 07:07.240 An old Barbie pin. No, an old flounder. 07:07.240 --> 07:08.840 LAUGHTER 07:08.840 --> 07:10.040 Did you take it home to dinner? 07:10.040 --> 07:12.440 No, I wasn't hungry, so I took it to a movie instead. 07:12.440 --> 07:13.840 LAUGHTER 07:13.840 --> 07:15.040 What picture did you see? 07:15.040 --> 07:16.640 The new Rita Hayworth picture. 07:16.640 --> 07:18.840 Now, there's my idea of a beautiful woman. 07:18.840 --> 07:22.240 Oh, she's all right, but I have that Lanolin plus look. 07:22.240 --> 07:23.440 LAUGHTER 07:23.440 --> 07:25.440 Lanolin plus what? 07:25.440 --> 07:26.440 Chicken fat. 07:26.440 --> 07:28.440 LAUGHTER 07:28.440 --> 07:31.840 Mrs. Dane, we've heard that you owe much of your success to your mother, 07:31.840 --> 07:34.640 who has always stood by you. Is this true? Do you owe your... 07:34.640 --> 07:37.040 Success, success to your mother, mother? 07:37.040 --> 07:38.040 No, no. 07:38.040 --> 07:39.640 LAUGHTER 07:39.640 --> 07:41.840 Well, my mother did help me a lot, honestly, 07:41.840 --> 07:44.440 but mostly I owe everything to my lungs. 07:44.440 --> 07:46.240 You can have the best mother in the world, 07:46.240 --> 07:48.640 but don't ever try swimming without a lung. 07:48.640 --> 07:52.040 LAUGHTER 07:52.040 --> 07:55.040 I understand that, but did you ever have any trouble breathing 07:55.040 --> 07:56.040 while you were swimming? 07:56.040 --> 07:57.640 Only once. I was swimming the channel, 07:57.640 --> 08:00.240 and all of a sudden, something went wrong with my breathing. 08:00.240 --> 08:01.240 What happened? 08:01.240 --> 08:02.840 A sardine swam up my nostril. 08:02.840 --> 08:04.840 LAUGHTER 08:04.840 --> 08:05.840 What a shame. 08:05.840 --> 08:08.440 I don't know what it was. For three days, I sneezed olive oil. 08:08.440 --> 08:09.440 LAUGHTER 08:09.440 --> 08:12.440 Mrs. Dane, let's hear a little about your personal life. 08:12.440 --> 08:14.040 Have you ever been married? 08:14.040 --> 08:15.440 Three times, actually. 08:15.440 --> 08:17.440 My first husband was a lumberjack. 08:17.440 --> 08:19.440 He got killed by a falling tree. 08:19.440 --> 08:20.840 That's too bad. 08:20.840 --> 08:23.440 My second husband was killed by a falling tree, too. 08:23.440 --> 08:24.640 For heaven's sake. 08:24.640 --> 08:26.640 But my third husband died in his sleep. 08:26.640 --> 08:27.640 What happened? 08:27.640 --> 08:28.840 A tree fell on him. 08:28.840 --> 08:30.840 LAUGHTER 08:30.840 --> 08:33.840 Our time is drawing short, Mrs. Dane, 08:33.840 --> 08:35.840 but one last question before we go. 08:35.840 --> 08:37.840 I'm sure the people listening in would like to hear 08:37.840 --> 08:39.840 of your most exciting experience in the water. 08:39.840 --> 08:41.840 Well, I guess my most exciting experience 08:41.840 --> 08:43.840 is the first time I was swimming the Panama Canal 08:43.840 --> 08:45.840 and I got caught in a lox. 08:45.840 --> 08:51.840 LAUGHTER 08:51.840 --> 08:53.840 You were caught in a lox without an escape? 08:53.840 --> 08:56.840 Worse. I was caught in a lox without a bagel. 08:56.840 --> 09:12.840 LAUGHTER 09:12.840 --> 09:15.840 Nose, throat and accessory organs 09:15.840 --> 09:19.840 not adversely affected by smoking Chesterfields. 09:19.840 --> 09:22.840 First such report ever published about any cigarette. 09:22.840 --> 09:25.840 And it applies only to Chesterfield. 09:25.840 --> 09:28.840 A responsible consulting organisation has reported 09:28.840 --> 09:31.840 the results of a continuing study by a competent medical specialist 09:31.840 --> 09:36.840 and his staff on the effects of smoking Chesterfield cigarettes. 09:36.840 --> 09:39.840 A group of people from various walks of life was organised 09:39.840 --> 09:41.840 to smoke only Chesterfields. 09:41.840 --> 09:44.840 For six months, this group of men and women 09:44.840 --> 09:46.840 smoked their normal amount of Chesterfields, 09:46.840 --> 09:48.840 10 to 40 a day. 09:48.840 --> 09:51.840 45% of the group of smoked Chesterfields continually 09:51.840 --> 09:53.840 from one to 30 years, 09:53.840 --> 09:55.840 for an average of 10 years each. 09:55.840 --> 09:59.840 At the beginning and at the end of the six months period, 09:59.840 --> 10:02.840 each smoker was given a thorough examination, 10:02.840 --> 10:04.840 including X-ray pictures by the medical specialist 10:04.840 --> 10:06.840 and his assistants. 10:06.840 --> 10:08.840 The examination covered the sinuses 10:08.840 --> 10:11.840 as well as the nose, ears and throat. 10:11.840 --> 10:14.840 The medical specialist, after a thorough examination 10:14.840 --> 10:16.840 of every member of the group, stated, 10:16.840 --> 10:19.840 It is my opinion that the ears, nose, throat 10:19.840 --> 10:22.840 and accessory organs of all participating subjects 10:22.840 --> 10:25.840 examined by me were not adversely affected 10:25.840 --> 10:29.840 in the six months period by smoking the cigarettes provided. 10:29.840 --> 10:32.840 Remember this Chesterfield report. 10:32.840 --> 10:35.840 It's the first such report ever published by any cigarette. 10:35.840 --> 10:38.840 Nose, throat and accessory organs 10:38.840 --> 10:42.840 not adversely affected by smoking Chesterfields. 10:42.840 --> 10:44.840 Buy Chesterfield. 10:44.840 --> 10:47.840 Either way you like them, regular or king size, 10:47.840 --> 10:52.840 Chesterfield gives you the best possible smoke. 10:52.840 --> 10:57.840 Well, a number of years ago there was a play on Broadway 10:57.840 --> 10:59.840 that became a tremendous hit. 10:59.840 --> 11:02.840 It was called Having a Wonderful Time. 11:02.840 --> 11:05.840 Well, a few months ago a number of bright talents 11:05.840 --> 11:08.840 got together and made a musical comedy out of this play. 11:08.840 --> 11:10.840 They changed the title, wrote a sensational score, 11:10.840 --> 11:13.840 and now I wish you were here as playing to standees. 11:13.840 --> 11:15.840 And in case you can't guess why I'm saying all this, 11:15.840 --> 11:17.840 I might as well tell you that I am going to take a crack 11:17.840 --> 11:18.840 at the title song. 11:18.840 --> 11:19.840 So, Ricardo? 11:19.840 --> 11:45.840 Well, they're not making the skies as blue this year, 11:45.840 --> 11:50.840 and the mornings don't seem as new, 11:50.840 --> 11:54.840 brand new as they did with you. 11:54.840 --> 12:03.840 I wish you were here, wish you were here, wish you were here. 12:03.840 --> 12:10.840 Someone's painting the leaves all wrong this year, 12:10.840 --> 12:13.840 I wish you were here. 12:13.840 --> 12:20.840 And why did the birds change their song this year? 12:20.840 --> 12:23.840 I wish you were here. 12:23.840 --> 12:27.840 They're not shining the stars as bright, 12:27.840 --> 12:31.840 they've stolen the joy from the night. 12:31.840 --> 12:59.840 I wish you were here, wish you were here, wish you were here. 12:59.840 --> 13:04.840 They're not shining the stars as bright, 13:04.840 --> 13:10.840 they've stolen the joy from the night. 13:10.840 --> 13:36.840 I wish you were here, wish you were here, wish you were here. 13:36.840 --> 13:38.840 Ladies and gentlemen, our guest tonight is a man 13:38.840 --> 13:40.840 who crashed into pictures a few years ago, 13:40.840 --> 13:43.840 and almost overnight found himself high in the ranks 13:43.840 --> 13:45.840 of our most popular stars. 13:45.840 --> 13:47.840 Jerry and I hope to bring you a big guest every week, 13:47.840 --> 13:50.840 but we don't know anyone bigger than that six feet four inches 13:50.840 --> 13:53.840 of rugged manhood, Jeff Chandler. 13:53.840 --> 14:05.840 Here he is. 14:05.840 --> 14:07.840 Thank you folks, and hi Dean. 14:07.840 --> 14:09.840 Jeff, it's a pleasure to have you with us tonight. 14:09.840 --> 14:11.840 Well thank you Dean. Say, where's that partner of yours? 14:11.840 --> 14:13.840 You know, he wants to spend a whole day knocking at my front door. 14:13.840 --> 14:16.840 Jerry spent a whole day knocking at your front door? How come? 14:16.840 --> 14:18.840 Well, we decided to sell our house last month, 14:18.840 --> 14:20.840 so we put a sign up on the front lawn. 14:20.840 --> 14:22.840 It said, Mr. Jeff Chandler, anxious to sell. 14:22.840 --> 14:25.840 Mrs. Chandler will show by appointment only. 14:25.840 --> 14:29.840 But what made Jerry spend a day knocking at your front door? 14:29.840 --> 14:31.840 Well, he thought the sign read, Mr. Jeff Chandler, 14:31.840 --> 14:35.840 anxious to sell, Mrs. Chandler will show by appointment only. 14:35.840 --> 14:37.840 So Jerry wanted to buy your wife, huh? 14:37.840 --> 14:39.840 You beat that, I was mad enough to shoot him. 14:39.840 --> 14:40.840 You were? 14:40.840 --> 14:41.840 Well sure, his check bounced. 14:41.840 --> 14:46.840 Oh it did, huh? 14:46.840 --> 14:48.840 Well no wonder you never opened that door. 14:48.840 --> 14:50.840 Hey Dean, Dean have you seen... 14:50.840 --> 14:55.840 Good heavens, there's a strange bird in our little nest. 14:55.840 --> 14:59.840 You look awfully familiar, buddy. 14:59.840 --> 15:03.840 Haven't I seen the outside of your house? 15:03.840 --> 15:05.840 I sure have, Jerry. Say hello to Mr. Chandler. 15:05.840 --> 15:08.840 Chandler? You got a happy Chandler who used to be the baseball's art? 15:08.840 --> 15:09.840 No Jerry, I... 15:09.840 --> 15:17.840 Hey did Joe DiMaggio ever get the first baseball medal in Monroe? 15:17.840 --> 15:19.840 Jerry, Jerry, happy Chandler is someone else. 15:19.840 --> 15:21.840 My name is Chandler too, but I'm not happy. 15:21.840 --> 15:23.840 How do you like that? Six feet, four inches tall, 15:23.840 --> 15:28.840 a tremendous physique, a handsome face, he's not happy. 15:28.840 --> 15:31.840 I should be so miserable. 15:31.840 --> 15:34.840 I'm sorry Jeff, I just don't know what to do with this boy. 15:34.840 --> 15:36.840 Look Jerry, I... 15:36.840 --> 15:37.840 What, what, what, what? 15:37.840 --> 15:40.840 Jerry, I want you to be nice to our guest. 15:40.840 --> 15:44.840 Now be a little gentleman and exchange greetings with Mr. Chandler. 15:44.840 --> 15:46.840 Alrighty. 15:46.840 --> 15:51.840 Mr. Chandler, my partner says I should come up to you and we should exchange greetings. 15:51.840 --> 15:52.840 So? 15:52.840 --> 15:55.840 So I'll trade you two happy new years for a Merry Christmas. 15:55.840 --> 15:58.840 Wait, wait, wait Dean, let me handle this. 15:58.840 --> 16:02.840 Jerry, I'm Jeff Chandler, the actor. 16:02.840 --> 16:06.840 How do you do? 16:06.840 --> 16:11.840 I am Jerry Lewis, the enchanting. 16:11.840 --> 16:15.840 Well, I've been around a lot of strange people, but Jerry you sure talk in circles. 16:15.840 --> 16:17.840 Can I help it? I got a round mouth. 16:17.840 --> 16:22.840 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you old hound jinger. 16:22.840 --> 16:24.840 That's amazing Jerry, how do you do it? 16:24.840 --> 16:25.840 Do what? 16:25.840 --> 16:34.840 How do you fit a round mouth into such a square head? 16:34.840 --> 16:39.840 Excuse me fellas, but I don't like the, well you two are working together here. 16:39.840 --> 16:40.840 Yeah, we do pretty good together. 16:40.840 --> 16:42.840 Maybe we ought to team up, huh Jeff? 16:42.840 --> 16:43.840 I can just see the billing. 16:43.840 --> 16:50.840 That sensational new comedy team, Mutt and Jeff. 16:50.840 --> 16:52.840 Now, now, now look, hold it boys, I don't want to come between you. 16:52.840 --> 16:54.840 Look, maybe we ought to get into the sketch. 16:54.840 --> 16:55.840 What's it going to be? 16:55.840 --> 16:57.840 Well, we thought we'd make it feel at home Jeff and do a western. 16:57.840 --> 17:00.840 You know, Jerry do you think you can handle a western role? 17:00.840 --> 17:04.840 Is it anything like an onion roll? 17:04.840 --> 17:09.840 Dean, well let's get on with the sketch. 17:09.840 --> 17:10.840 Yeah. 17:10.840 --> 17:14.840 If I know how these things go, it's about time for George Feniman to set the scene. 17:14.840 --> 17:17.840 And now, through the magic of radio, Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis and Jeff Chandler 17:17.840 --> 17:20.840 take you to the roughest, toughest town of all time. 17:20.840 --> 17:22.840 A town where outlaws thrive. 17:22.840 --> 17:25.840 And a man's life span is measured by the speed of his draw. 17:25.840 --> 17:27.840 A town where lawlessness reigns supreme. 17:27.840 --> 17:33.840 The toughest, roughest and wildest town of all time. 17:33.840 --> 17:41.840 Boston. 17:41.840 --> 17:43.840 Yes, Boston, Wyoming. 17:43.840 --> 17:50.840 And there, and there we meet the greatest trio of desperados ever to ride the reins. 17:50.840 --> 17:53.840 The three James Brothers. 17:53.840 --> 17:56.840 My name is Jesse James. I'm married to the west. 17:56.840 --> 17:59.840 My name is Frank James. I'm married to my gun. 17:59.840 --> 18:08.840 My name is Harry James. Any questions? 18:08.840 --> 18:11.840 Yes, it's the infamous James Brothers. 18:11.840 --> 18:14.840 Wherever the James Brothers rolled, they left their mark. 18:14.840 --> 18:17.840 Jesse with his... 18:17.840 --> 18:19.840 Frank with his... 18:19.840 --> 18:26.840 And Harry with his... 18:26.840 --> 18:29.840 As we meet the James Brothers, they've just robbed the bank at Abilene. 18:29.840 --> 18:33.840 And they're fleeing to their hideout with a posse at their heels. 18:33.840 --> 18:37.840 There's the hideout, boys. Let's go. 18:37.840 --> 18:39.840 Come on now, boys. Let's give the up the loop. 18:39.840 --> 18:42.840 We sure cleaned out that bank. That stole me some about 6,000 gold. 18:42.840 --> 18:44.840 I got away with 8,000 in greenbacks. 18:44.840 --> 18:46.840 What was your take, Harry? 18:46.840 --> 18:50.840 Two blotters and an application to join the Christmas Club. 18:50.840 --> 18:54.840 Why, you lily-livered goat, heck of a bank robber you turned out to be. 18:54.840 --> 18:58.840 All right, there's no need to get your spurs in an uproar, buddy. 18:58.840 --> 19:01.840 I never claimed to be no bank robber. 19:01.840 --> 19:03.840 I got a different specialty. 19:03.840 --> 19:11.840 Well, I'm the biggest rustler in these parts. 19:11.840 --> 19:17.840 What part of the west you come from, Robert? 19:17.840 --> 19:24.840 The southern part of the west. 19:24.840 --> 19:26.840 How come you ain't rustlin' now? 19:26.840 --> 19:34.840 I forgot my tap in the short. 19:34.840 --> 19:37.840 Oh, now, it's ain't no use, Jess. He's plain yally. 19:37.840 --> 19:40.840 You know something? If it wasn't for Ma, I'd cut his throat. 19:40.840 --> 19:42.840 What's Ma got to do with it? 19:42.840 --> 19:47.840 I promised she could watch. 19:47.840 --> 19:58.840 Okay, boys, now I took all I'm gonna take of this here. 19:58.840 --> 20:00.840 I ain't hankering for no fight. 20:00.840 --> 20:04.840 But if that's what you're hankering for, then even I ain't hankering. 20:04.840 --> 20:12.840 I'm gonna start hankering right now and another... and another... and another... and another thing. 20:12.840 --> 20:13.840 What? 20:13.840 --> 20:16.840 Can I borrow your hankering? 20:16.840 --> 20:18.840 All right, let's cut this crazy palaver. 20:18.840 --> 20:21.840 We gotta get organized. Harry, you go out and water the horses. 20:21.840 --> 20:23.840 Okay, Frank, but it's silly. 20:23.840 --> 20:32.840 Every time I water those horses, darn it, but don't drink. 20:32.840 --> 20:34.840 You know, Jesse, he must be loco or something. 20:34.840 --> 20:36.840 He's loco or nothing. 20:36.840 --> 20:37.840 Ah, well... 20:37.840 --> 20:39.840 The horses ain't there. They're gone. 20:39.840 --> 20:46.840 Gone? 20:46.840 --> 20:48.840 Gone? Are you sure? 20:48.840 --> 20:50.840 Yeah, all I could find was this note. 20:50.840 --> 20:52.840 Here, here, let me see that. 20:52.840 --> 20:54.840 Read it, Frank. What's it say? 20:54.840 --> 21:04.840 It says, you are a good... 21:04.840 --> 21:09.840 You are a no-good bunch of coyotes, and I decided to leave you stranded in your hideout. 21:09.840 --> 21:13.840 I've hated you for years, and I hope the posse catches you and hangs you. 21:13.840 --> 21:14.840 How's it signed? 21:14.840 --> 21:19.840 Old Faithful. 21:19.840 --> 21:29.840 It's the posse. 21:29.840 --> 21:31.840 You're surrounded, James Brothers. 21:31.840 --> 21:32.840 Come on, get your hands up. 21:32.840 --> 21:34.840 Yeah, well, you'd better come and get us. 21:34.840 --> 21:36.840 I'll give you one chance. 21:36.840 --> 21:37.840 What do you say, Jesse James? 21:37.840 --> 21:43.840 You'll never take me alive. 21:43.840 --> 21:45.840 What do you say, Frank James? 21:45.840 --> 21:47.840 You'll never take me alive. 21:47.840 --> 22:08.840 What do you say, Harry James? 22:08.840 --> 22:13.840 Listen to what the nation's press has had to say about king-size Chesterfields. 22:13.840 --> 22:18.840 Cleveland Press. Dealers everywhere report the big-pack sale phenomenal. 22:18.840 --> 22:24.840 Last week in Cleveland, some areas reported the long-sized Chesterfield outsold all other brands. 22:24.840 --> 22:26.840 Atlantic City Evening Union. 22:26.840 --> 22:33.840 Wholesalers and retailers report an extraordinary demand for Chesterfields in both sizes, with sell-outs in many instances. 22:33.840 --> 22:38.840 And from all over the country, we're getting reports from dealers telling us no product they ever handled 22:38.840 --> 22:43.840 has grown so fast in so short a time as king-size Chesterfields. 22:43.840 --> 22:48.840 With the buying public today, high quality for the money is a must. 22:48.840 --> 22:52.840 And that's why so many smokers are changing to Chesterfield. 22:52.840 --> 22:58.840 First cigarette in America to give you premium quality in both regular and king-size. 22:58.840 --> 23:04.840 King-size Chesterfield is exactly the same as regular Chesterfield, except it's larger. 23:04.840 --> 23:12.840 Contains so much more of the same tobacco, it gives you a 21% longer smoke, yet costs very little more. 23:12.840 --> 23:20.840 And the tobacco in king-size Chesterfield is of better quality and higher price than the tobacco in any other king-size cigarette. 23:20.840 --> 23:29.840 Try Chesterfield. Either way you like them, regular or king-size, Chesterfield gives you the best possible smoke. 23:29.840 --> 23:41.840 Now I've always been a great fan of Western pictures, but I really flipped when Roy Rogers and Gene Nott came on the scene, 23:41.840 --> 23:45.840 because if there's anything I like more than Western pictures, it's Western music. 23:45.840 --> 23:48.840 So, text-a-beal, let's ride down the canyon. 23:48.840 --> 23:50.840 Let's go. 24:18.840 --> 24:28.840 White-faced cattle lowing on the mountainside 24:28.840 --> 24:37.840 I hear the coyote whining for its mate 24:37.840 --> 24:49.840 Cactus plants are blooming sagebrush everywhere 24:49.840 --> 24:58.840 Granite spires are standing all around 24:58.840 --> 25:09.840 I tell you folks, it's heaven to be riding down the trail 25:09.840 --> 25:18.840 When the desert sun goes down 25:18.840 --> 25:30.840 Cactus plants are blooming sagebrush everywhere 25:30.840 --> 25:40.840 Granite spires are standing all around 25:40.840 --> 25:51.840 I tell you folks, it's heaven to be riding down the trail 25:51.840 --> 26:16.840 When the desert sun goes down 26:16.840 --> 26:21.840 Gene, Gene, that was sure pretty the way you sang, it brought a lump in my throat. 26:21.840 --> 26:23.840 Thank you, Jerry, that's very flattering. 26:23.840 --> 26:28.840 Gene, I'd like to add my vote of confidence to Jerry's, I couldn't have done better myself. 26:28.840 --> 26:30.840 Do you sing, Jeff? 26:30.840 --> 26:34.840 Of course he sings, and you knew it all the time, Dean Martin, so how come you didn't mention it? 26:34.840 --> 26:38.840 I'm sorry, Jeff, I guess I must have forgotten you were a singer. 26:38.840 --> 26:41.840 Well, maybe we can get together after the show and kick around Sweet Adeline. 26:41.840 --> 26:42.840 Sounds good to me. 26:42.840 --> 26:43.840 Well, it don't sound good to me. 26:43.840 --> 26:44.840 Why not? 26:44.840 --> 26:51.840 Because she's my sister. 26:51.840 --> 26:57.840 All right, Jerry, it's time to wrap things up, so let's say goodnight to Jeff Chandler, who has been a wonderful, wonderful guest. 26:57.840 --> 27:01.840 Yes, sir, we Jeffy Boy. 27:01.840 --> 27:06.840 Anytime you want to sign your name in our guest book, you go write A-head. 27:06.840 --> 27:08.840 That goes double for me, Jeff. 27:08.840 --> 27:10.840 Thank you, boys. Good night, everybody. Good night, boys. 27:10.840 --> 27:24.840 Good night. 27:24.840 --> 27:30.840 Well, folks, that does it for this week, but we'll be back next week, and meanwhile, we want you all to sound off for Chesterfield. 27:30.840 --> 27:32.840 That's right, folks, it's a big boost for us. 27:32.840 --> 27:39.840 When you step up to the counter and ask the man for Chesterfields, try him tomorrow, regular or king size, you'll get the best possible smoke from Chesterfield. 27:39.840 --> 27:48.840 So until next week, this is Dean Martin reminding all our friends in Texas that we're coming down to play the State Fair in Dallas from October 4th through the 19th. 27:48.840 --> 27:53.840 And this is Jerry Lewis reminding all of you that our latest picture, Jumping Jacks, is playing at your local theaters. 27:53.840 --> 27:55.840 We hope you'll go see it. Good night. 27:55.840 --> 28:06.840 Good night, everybody. 28:06.840 --> 28:13.840 From Hollywood, you'll just heard transcribed the Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis show, written by Ed Simmons and Norman Lear, 28:13.840 --> 28:18.840 produced and directed by Dick Mack, with music prepared and conducted by Dick Stabeel. 28:18.840 --> 28:23.840 And this is George Fenomen asking you to listen to a personal message from Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. 28:23.840 --> 28:29.840 Ladies and gentlemen, before we sign off, we'd like to tell you a little something about our pet charity, the Muscular Dystrophy Association. 28:29.840 --> 28:36.840 Muscular dystrophy is a horrible disease that strikes young and old alike, and what makes it even more frightening is that the disease is incurable. 28:36.840 --> 28:40.840 A cure can be found for this dread disease, but money is needed for research. 28:40.840 --> 28:43.840 It's needed badly, and your contributions can help this research to continue. 28:43.840 --> 28:51.840 Please send what you can to mda.ny8ny. That's mda.ny8ny. And we thank you so much. Good night. 28:51.840 --> 29:01.840 Jeff Chandler will soon be seen in Because of You, a Universal International picture also starring Lorena Young and Alex Nichols. 29:21.840 --> 29:25.840 The Muscular Dystrophy Association 29:51.840 --> 29:55.840 The Muscular Dystrophy Association