WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:01.000 Transcribed. 00:01.000 --> 00:02.000 Jerry? 00:02.000 --> 00:03.000 Yeah? 00:03.000 --> 00:04.000 Cigarette? 00:04.000 --> 00:05.000 Certainly. 00:05.000 --> 00:06.000 Chesterfield? 00:06.000 --> 00:07.000 Exclusively. 00:07.000 --> 00:08.000 King size? 00:08.000 --> 00:09.000 Regular. 00:09.000 --> 00:10.000 Light? 00:10.000 --> 00:11.000 Thanks. 00:11.000 --> 00:12.000 Good. 00:12.000 --> 00:13.000 Splendid. 00:13.000 --> 00:14.000 Ooh. 00:14.000 --> 00:26.000 Which means that Chesterfield, first cigarette with premium quality in both regular and king 00:26.000 --> 00:38.440 size, brings you the Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis Show. 00:38.440 --> 00:41.920 Chesterfield is best for you, much milder, better tasting too. 00:41.920 --> 00:43.920 They're today's best cigarette pie. 00:43.920 --> 00:46.880 Come on smokers, why don't you try? 00:46.880 --> 00:47.880 Chesterfield. 00:47.880 --> 00:48.880 Best for you. 00:48.880 --> 00:49.880 Chesterfield. 00:49.880 --> 00:50.880 Best for you. 00:50.880 --> 00:51.880 Regular, king size either way. 00:51.880 --> 00:56.760 Make a Chesterfield today. 00:56.760 --> 01:08.000 And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to bring you our master of ceremony, Dean 01:08.000 --> 01:09.000 Martin. 01:09.000 --> 01:10.000 Thank you. 01:10.000 --> 01:11.000 Thank you. 01:11.000 --> 01:12.000 Hi there everybody. 01:12.000 --> 01:21.520 Well, we're all set to zip the little red cellophane strip off another Chesterfield 01:21.520 --> 01:22.800 pack of music and merriment. 01:22.800 --> 01:26.720 And while my partner Jerry is getting ready to extract some king size lash from the sleeve 01:26.720 --> 01:30.880 of a straight jacket, Richard, how about having ourselves a musical look into them, their 01:30.880 --> 01:31.880 eyes? 01:31.880 --> 01:51.440 I fell in love with you first time I looked into them, their eyes. 01:51.440 --> 01:58.720 You got a certain little cute way of flirting with them, their eyes. 01:58.720 --> 02:05.360 They make me feel happy, they make me blue. 02:05.360 --> 02:11.400 No Stalin, I'm falling golden in a big way for sweet little you. 02:11.400 --> 02:19.080 Oh my heart is jumping, you sure started something with them, their eyes. 02:19.080 --> 02:25.920 You'd better watch them if you're wise. 02:25.920 --> 02:32.200 They sparkle, they bubble, they're going to get you in a whole mess of trouble. 02:32.200 --> 02:49.480 You're overworking them, there's danger lurking in them, their eyes. 02:49.480 --> 03:13.440 Oh my heart is jumping, you sure started something with them, their eyes. 03:13.440 --> 03:20.480 You'd better watch them if you're wise. 03:20.480 --> 03:27.160 They sparkle, they bubble, they're going to get you in a whole lot of trouble. 03:27.160 --> 03:34.800 You're overworking them, there's danger lurking in them, their eyes. 03:34.800 --> 03:38.000 Thank you. 03:38.000 --> 03:43.800 Thank you very much. 03:43.800 --> 03:48.400 Now ladies and gentlemen. 03:48.400 --> 03:49.400 Dean, hold on a minute. 03:49.400 --> 03:50.400 Hold what a minute? 03:50.400 --> 03:51.400 What's the matter, Fenneman? 03:51.400 --> 03:53.000 Well the messenger just delivered a note from Jerry Lewis. 03:53.000 --> 03:54.000 Oh from Jerry? 03:54.000 --> 03:55.000 Let me see. 03:55.000 --> 04:00.800 Dear older than me, I'm running away from home because everybody picks on me. 04:00.800 --> 04:02.680 I'm going to China today. 04:02.680 --> 04:05.000 In parting let me say I love you, Dean. 04:05.000 --> 04:06.360 I love Joyce Fenneman. 04:06.360 --> 04:07.880 I love Dick Stabeel. 04:07.880 --> 04:10.840 I love Ethel for Blundered. 04:10.840 --> 04:13.120 I am leaving all my worldly possessions. 04:13.120 --> 04:15.280 All I'm taking with me is a carton of Chesterfields. 04:15.280 --> 04:16.960 Oh gee, that's strange, Dean. 04:16.960 --> 04:20.040 At a time like this, why would Jerry take nothing but a carton of Chesterfields? 04:20.040 --> 04:21.680 I love my sponsor too. 04:21.680 --> 04:26.680 It's Jerry Lewis! 04:26.680 --> 04:34.480 Well, dear, what made you change your mind about running off to China? 04:34.480 --> 04:36.520 Oh it's a long, long story, Deanie. 04:36.520 --> 04:38.960 I stood in a row for three hours with my thumb out waiting. 04:38.960 --> 04:39.960 For what? 04:39.960 --> 04:41.960 A car with Chinese license plates. 04:41.960 --> 04:44.640 Jerry, you can't get to China that way. 04:44.640 --> 04:45.640 You get there by boat. 04:45.640 --> 04:47.920 Then I must have been standing on the wrong road, Dean. 04:47.920 --> 04:48.920 Very few boats pass by. 04:48.920 --> 04:52.880 You know, I just don't understand it, Jerry. 04:52.880 --> 04:54.680 Why would you run away in the first place? 04:54.680 --> 04:57.060 Well Dean, it's just that I'm getting sick and tired of it all. 04:57.060 --> 04:58.060 People always hating me. 04:58.060 --> 04:59.060 Hating, hating, hating. 04:59.060 --> 05:00.060 Jerry. 05:00.060 --> 05:01.060 Hating, hating. 05:01.060 --> 05:02.060 Always hating. 05:02.060 --> 05:03.060 Never liking. 05:03.060 --> 05:04.060 Always hating. 05:04.060 --> 05:05.060 Jerry, stop! 05:05.060 --> 05:06.060 That goes for you too, Dean Martin. 05:06.060 --> 05:07.060 Stopping, stopping. 05:07.060 --> 05:08.060 Always stopping. 05:08.060 --> 05:09.060 Never starting. 05:09.060 --> 05:10.060 Always stopping. 05:10.060 --> 05:11.060 Now cut it out! 05:11.060 --> 05:12.060 Cutting, cutting. 05:12.060 --> 05:13.060 Always cutting. 05:13.060 --> 05:14.060 Ah, shut up! 05:14.060 --> 05:16.840 Look, Jerry, if there's something on your mind, I can help. 05:16.840 --> 05:17.840 Tell Deanie. 05:17.840 --> 05:22.120 Well, you see, it's like this. 05:22.120 --> 05:23.120 It's my family again. 05:23.120 --> 05:26.120 They're all jealous of me because I have the mind of a four-year-old. 05:26.120 --> 05:29.120 Jerry, your family isn't jealous of you. 05:29.120 --> 05:31.120 Oh they are so do, Deanie. 05:31.120 --> 05:35.120 Why, when I was born, the very first time my mother looked at my face, she was jealous. 05:35.120 --> 05:36.120 Of what? 05:36.120 --> 05:37.120 Of her mother. 05:37.120 --> 05:38.120 Oh, please, Jerry. 05:38.120 --> 05:43.120 Oh yeah, when I was a baby, I was all wrinkled up like a prune. 05:43.120 --> 05:47.240 Jerry, lots of tiny babies look like a prune. 05:47.240 --> 05:50.240 With a pit in the middle? 05:50.240 --> 05:55.440 Well, I see what you mean. 05:55.440 --> 05:56.920 It's enough to give a kid a complex. 05:56.920 --> 05:57.920 Oh yes, indeed. 05:57.920 --> 06:02.640 How would you like to go through life trying to spit yourself out? 06:02.640 --> 06:06.440 Leave me, Jerry, you're all wrong about this. 06:06.440 --> 06:08.440 I happen to know your family loves you. 06:08.440 --> 06:10.440 Oh yeah, then how about my mother? 06:10.440 --> 06:13.400 Her, how about? 06:13.400 --> 06:14.400 She didn't like you? 06:14.400 --> 06:16.400 You want I should give you a for instance? 06:16.400 --> 06:19.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give her a for instance. 06:19.400 --> 06:20.400 All righty. 06:20.400 --> 06:25.400 And this one is a positive darb. 06:25.400 --> 06:28.840 Every time I cried at night, my mother used to take me in her arms and rock me to sleep. 06:28.840 --> 06:31.640 Well, why should that make you think your mother doesn't love you? 06:31.640 --> 06:34.400 She used real rocks. 06:34.400 --> 06:35.760 Oh. 06:35.760 --> 06:40.240 And Dean, ask me about toys. 06:40.240 --> 06:42.240 Ask me about toys. 06:42.240 --> 06:44.240 Okay, about toys. 06:44.240 --> 06:47.240 I'm glad you brought that up. 06:47.240 --> 06:50.720 Until I was three years old, I never had any toys. 06:50.720 --> 06:51.720 No toys? 06:51.720 --> 06:52.720 Didn't you have a rattle? 06:52.720 --> 06:55.720 Only when I walked. 06:55.720 --> 06:56.720 Yeah. 06:56.720 --> 07:03.120 Jerry, you may be the ugly duckling of the family, but I'll always be your friend. 07:03.120 --> 07:04.960 Ho ho somebody. 07:04.960 --> 07:06.520 What have you ever done for me? 07:06.520 --> 07:07.520 What have you? 07:07.520 --> 07:08.520 What have I ever done for you? 07:08.520 --> 07:09.520 What have I? 07:09.520 --> 07:10.520 I'll tell you what I've done. 07:10.520 --> 07:13.520 I fixed up a date for you with Janet Lee, Ginger Rogers, and Marilyn Monroe. 07:13.520 --> 07:14.520 Blondes, blondes, always blondes. 07:14.520 --> 07:17.520 Don't you think a guy likes to go out with a brunette once in a while? 07:17.520 --> 07:18.520 Jerry, believe me, I'm actually your pal. 07:18.520 --> 07:19.520 Fine pal. 07:19.520 --> 07:20.520 If you're my pal, how come you never call me anymore? 07:20.520 --> 07:21.520 Well, you don't have a phone. 07:21.520 --> 07:22.520 I'm not your pal. 07:22.520 --> 07:23.520 I'm your pal. 07:23.520 --> 07:24.520 I'm your pal. 07:24.520 --> 07:25.520 I'm your pal. 07:25.520 --> 07:26.760 You can call me Jerry anymore. 07:26.760 --> 07:27.960 Well, you don't have a phone. 07:27.960 --> 07:28.960 I know, but you have. 07:28.960 --> 07:35.260 Look, Jerry, if you don't like this arrangement between you and me, you can call the whole 07:35.260 --> 07:36.260 act off. 07:36.260 --> 07:37.260 Okay. 07:37.260 --> 07:38.260 Let's call it quits. 07:38.260 --> 07:39.260 Quits? 07:39.260 --> 07:40.260 You heard me. 07:40.260 --> 07:41.260 K-W-I-T-Z. 07:41.260 --> 07:42.260 Quits. 07:42.260 --> 07:43.260 You mean it, Jerry. 07:43.260 --> 07:44.260 Sure. 07:44.260 --> 07:45.260 I can get along fine on my own. 07:45.260 --> 07:47.580 I can always go back to what I was doing before I met you. 07:47.580 --> 07:48.580 You can, huh? 07:48.580 --> 07:49.580 Yeah. 07:49.580 --> 07:50.580 All right. 07:50.580 --> 07:51.580 Go back to what you were doing before you met me. 07:51.580 --> 07:52.580 Okay. 07:52.580 --> 07:53.580 Well. 07:53.580 --> 08:09.700 years ahead of them all 08:09.700 --> 08:12.660 Chesterfield is years ahead of them all 08:12.660 --> 08:16.760 the quality contrast between Chesterfield and other leading brands is a 08:16.760 --> 08:18.160 revealing story 08:18.160 --> 08:22.240 recent chemical analysis is given index of good quality for the country's six 08:22.240 --> 08:27.340 leading cigarette brands the index of good quality table which is a ratio of 08:27.340 --> 08:32.900 high sugar to low nicotine shows Chesterfield quality highest Chesterfield 08:32.900 --> 08:38.460 quality highest 15% higher than its nearest competitor Chesterfield quality 08:38.460 --> 08:43.780 highest 31% higher than the average of the five other leading brand 08:43.780 --> 08:49.900 yes Chesterfield is first with premium quality in both regular and king size 08:49.900 --> 08:54.340 don't you want to try a cigarette with a record like this Chesterfield 08:54.340 --> 09:04.780 ladies and gentlemen though we're not scientists Jerry and I tried a little 09:04.780 --> 09:08.100 experiment not too long ago we were anxious to see what would happen if we 09:08.100 --> 09:12.100 mixed comedy and drama in one picture well out of the test tube came our 09:12.100 --> 09:15.900 latest picture to stooge and Jerry and I are really thrilled that so many of you 09:15.900 --> 09:19.740 are visiting your local theater to see it and since we're on the subject of 09:19.740 --> 09:33.460 chemistry I'm ready to make some lovely words with a haunting refrain 09:33.460 --> 09:48.700 pretend you're happy when you're blue it isn't very hard to do and you'll find 09:48.700 --> 10:07.500 happiness without an end whenever you pretend remember anyone can dream and 10:07.500 --> 10:21.500 nothing's bad as it may seem the little things you haven't got could be a lot if 10:21.500 --> 10:25.540 you pretend 10:25.540 --> 10:39.700 you find a lot you can share one you can call all your own 10:39.980 --> 10:46.020 just close your eyes she'll be there 10:46.020 --> 11:01.740 you'll never be alone and if you sing this melody you'll be 11:01.740 --> 11:16.980 pretending just like me the world is mine it can be yours my friend so I don't you 11:16.980 --> 11:32.820 pretend 11:32.820 --> 12:00.620 And if you sing this melody, You'll be pretending just like me. 12:00.620 --> 12:26.620 The world is mine, it can be yours, my friend, So why don't you pretend? 12:30.620 --> 12:40.340 Before I introduce the guest star, Joey, I want to make sure of something. 12:40.340 --> 12:42.140 Is everything straightened out between us? 12:42.140 --> 12:45.540 Yes, indeed, Mr. Martin, sir, you are the boss. 12:45.540 --> 12:46.540 And you? 12:46.540 --> 12:47.540 And I am nothing. 12:47.540 --> 12:49.540 Now, don't forget that. 12:49.540 --> 12:54.020 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the part of the program that I always look forward to. 12:54.020 --> 12:56.540 Some job he's got, boss over nothing. 12:56.540 --> 13:02.340 This is the part of the program where I introduce the guest star. 13:02.340 --> 13:05.540 Believe me, they won't always say, there goes Jerry Lewis the idiot. 13:05.540 --> 13:06.540 Our guest is- 13:06.540 --> 13:07.540 I'm gonna go to college. 13:07.540 --> 13:08.540 Our guest is- 13:08.540 --> 13:12.540 When I graduate from college, they won't say, there goes Jerry Lewis the idiot anymore. 13:12.540 --> 13:13.540 Our guest is- 13:13.540 --> 13:14.540 They'll say, there goes Professor Lewis the idiot. 13:14.540 --> 13:15.540 Okay, I've had enough of your interruption. 13:15.540 --> 13:16.540 What do you want me to do? 13:16.540 --> 13:17.540 Who cares? 13:17.540 --> 13:18.540 Play Jacks with George Fenorman. 13:18.540 --> 13:19.540 Hmm, what a splendid idea. 13:19.540 --> 13:20.540 And now, ladies and gentlemen, a command performance. 13:20.540 --> 13:31.980 Tonight's guest star appeared with us earlier this season, but because of her beauty, charm, 13:31.980 --> 13:36.460 and talent, and your reaction to the same, we practically command her to return. 13:36.460 --> 13:39.460 Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Linda Darnell. 13:39.460 --> 13:42.460 Well, thank you. 13:42.460 --> 13:46.540 Thank you very much, Dean. 13:46.540 --> 13:50.300 Hey, say, where's Jerry? 13:50.300 --> 13:51.300 I'm here with Jacks with George Fenorman. 13:51.300 --> 13:52.300 Jerry, come here. 13:52.300 --> 13:53.300 You remember Linda Darnell. 13:53.300 --> 13:54.300 Oh, indeedy-dee, I do, deeny-derly. 13:54.300 --> 14:00.300 Miss Darnell's the girl with the two most beautiful legs in the world. 14:00.300 --> 14:03.940 Why, Jerry, how do you know I've got the two most beautiful legs in the world? 14:03.940 --> 14:04.940 I counted them. 14:04.940 --> 14:11.580 Well, Jerry, Linda's a Texas gal, and that's the way Texas gals are built. 14:11.580 --> 14:13.180 Then my geography book is all wrong. 14:13.180 --> 14:14.820 Well, what do you mean, Jerry? 14:14.820 --> 14:16.300 Texas never had a shape like that. 14:16.300 --> 14:21.060 You know, Linda, we've asked you here for a specific purpose. 14:21.060 --> 14:22.820 Jerry and I have been working together for a long time. 14:22.820 --> 14:25.420 Oh, I know, Dean, and I think it's just wonderful. 14:25.420 --> 14:28.740 You've given Jerry half of everything from the first dollar you made. 14:28.740 --> 14:31.940 Yeah, and someday he promised to give me half of the rest of the money we made. 14:31.940 --> 14:33.980 Now, come on, please, Jerry. 14:33.980 --> 14:37.900 Linda, for years Jerry and I have been chasing all over the United States, and all over Canada, 14:37.900 --> 14:41.180 and all over Europe, and we've just decided we'd like to have you in the act. 14:41.180 --> 14:42.180 But why me? 14:42.180 --> 14:43.340 Well, what'll I do in the act? 14:43.340 --> 14:46.980 Oh, I'm sure we can figure out some sort of a novelty for you in the act, Linda. 14:46.980 --> 14:49.860 Yeah, we can do a magic act, Mr. Arnell. 14:49.860 --> 14:50.860 You get in the trunk. 14:50.860 --> 14:51.860 Yes. 14:51.860 --> 14:52.860 And I get in there with you. 14:52.860 --> 14:53.860 That's magic? 14:53.860 --> 14:56.860 It is, if I can get away with it. 14:56.860 --> 14:59.860 Now, I got an idea. 14:59.860 --> 15:04.180 We'll do an adagio act. 15:04.180 --> 15:05.180 Now picture the setting. 15:05.180 --> 15:06.180 A dive in Paris. 15:06.180 --> 15:09.180 I pick Linda up, and I throw her to you. 15:09.180 --> 15:10.180 This I like. 15:10.180 --> 15:11.180 Well, what does Jerry do? 15:11.180 --> 15:13.940 He holds you in his arms for a second, then he throws you back to me. 15:13.940 --> 15:14.940 You want a bet? 15:14.940 --> 15:20.660 Now, during the dance, there's a struggle. 15:20.660 --> 15:22.980 Tables crash, chairs break, shots are fired. 15:22.980 --> 15:24.700 Well, Dean, what are you doing all this time? 15:24.700 --> 15:27.620 I'm singing. 15:27.620 --> 15:31.500 But through all the gunshots, tables crashing, and chairs breaking, how can you continue 15:31.500 --> 15:32.500 singing? 15:32.500 --> 15:33.500 Oh, it's easy. 15:33.500 --> 15:34.500 I'm used to Dick Stabiel's orchestra. 15:34.500 --> 15:37.500 Well, Mr. Arnell, I just thought I was finished for the act. 15:37.500 --> 15:41.780 While I'm lying there on the floor, you take me in your arms and kiss me. 15:41.780 --> 15:44.580 Well, that sounds swell, but what do you do for an encore? 15:44.580 --> 15:45.580 Break out and goose pim-poop. 15:45.580 --> 15:51.300 Well, I'm sorry, boys, but look, that adagio stuff is out. 15:51.300 --> 15:52.900 You know, I've got an idea, though. 15:52.900 --> 15:55.060 I've done so many tropical island pictures. 15:55.060 --> 15:57.300 Why don't we do a satire on one of those? 15:57.300 --> 15:59.300 That suggestion's a die, a complete die. 15:59.300 --> 16:02.300 Let's try one right now. 16:02.300 --> 16:05.300 Furnament, get us going. 16:05.300 --> 16:06.740 Right, Dean. 16:06.740 --> 16:12.340 Ladies and gentlemen, the Chesterfield, ooh, you'll like them players. 16:12.340 --> 16:18.220 Now present Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, and Linda Darnell in the first of a series of 16:18.220 --> 16:19.820 shipwreck jokes. 16:19.820 --> 16:25.020 It is the stark drama of two men, cast adrift on a tiny raft in the South Pacific. 16:25.020 --> 16:30.420 For days they drift beneath the blistering sun, dying from thirst, slowly going mad, 16:30.420 --> 16:36.700 bodies emaciated with hunger, and all they have with them is Linda Darnell. 16:36.700 --> 16:41.700 Entitled... 16:41.700 --> 17:02.340 Should happen to me. 17:02.340 --> 17:04.940 I can't stand it on this raft anymore. 17:04.940 --> 17:05.940 Can't stand it. 17:05.940 --> 17:07.820 I'm rotting away, I tell you. 17:07.820 --> 17:08.820 Rotting, rotting. 17:08.820 --> 17:10.340 How long have we been adrift? 17:10.340 --> 17:11.340 Ten minutes. 17:11.340 --> 17:12.340 Well, I spoil quickly. 17:12.340 --> 17:13.340 I can't stand this horrible thirst anymore. 17:13.340 --> 17:14.340 Me neither. 17:14.340 --> 17:15.340 Just look at my lips. 17:15.340 --> 17:16.340 They're all blistered. 17:16.340 --> 17:17.340 Oh, you poor boy, let me kiss you again. 17:17.340 --> 17:18.340 How do you think they got blistered? 17:18.340 --> 17:19.340 I need water. 17:19.340 --> 17:20.340 Water, I need water. 17:20.340 --> 17:21.340 Where's our water? 17:21.340 --> 17:22.340 Oh, good heavens, our water is all gone. 17:22.340 --> 17:23.340 Yeah, I used the last drop. 17:23.340 --> 17:24.340 To drink? 17:24.340 --> 17:25.340 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 17:25.340 --> 17:26.340 I'm sorry. 17:26.340 --> 17:27.340 I'm sorry. 17:27.340 --> 17:28.340 I'm sorry. 17:28.340 --> 17:29.340 I'm sorry. 17:29.340 --> 17:30.340 I'm sorry. 17:30.340 --> 17:31.340 I'm sorry. 17:31.340 --> 17:32.340 I'm sorry. 17:32.340 --> 17:33.340 I'm sorry. 17:33.340 --> 17:34.340 I'm sorry. 17:34.340 --> 17:35.340 I'm sorry. 17:35.340 --> 17:36.340 To drink? 17:36.340 --> 17:37.340 No, to wash my dainty. 17:37.340 --> 17:42.340 Hey, fellas, this is the beginning of the end. 17:42.340 --> 17:45.340 Look, there's a leak in our rubber raft. 17:45.340 --> 17:46.340 Quick! 17:46.340 --> 17:51.340 Put a pan under it. 17:51.340 --> 17:54.340 A pan? 17:54.340 --> 17:59.340 The air is leaking out. 17:59.340 --> 18:03.340 Then put a balloon under it. 18:03.340 --> 18:05.340 Hey, that's a good idea. 18:05.340 --> 18:09.340 We may not have food to eat and water to drink, but we'll always have air to breathe. 18:09.340 --> 18:11.340 Don't worry, we won't go hungry this morning. 18:11.340 --> 18:12.340 I caught a fish. 18:12.340 --> 18:14.340 But what did you use for a hook? 18:14.340 --> 18:15.340 Dean's old nose. 18:15.340 --> 18:19.340 Jerry, what did you use for bait? 18:19.340 --> 18:23.340 There was enough left over for that too, I guess. 18:23.340 --> 18:24.340 Oh, look. 18:24.340 --> 18:25.340 Look out there, a ship. 18:25.340 --> 18:26.340 Is it a sloop? 18:26.340 --> 18:27.340 No, it's white a woof. 18:27.340 --> 18:28.340 I mean, the woof is a white a woof. 18:28.340 --> 18:35.340 They must have seen my petticoat that I hung on the mast. 18:35.340 --> 18:36.340 They're signaling. 18:36.340 --> 18:37.340 What are they saying? 18:37.340 --> 18:38.340 Lady, your slippers shine. 18:38.340 --> 18:39.340 Look! 18:39.340 --> 18:40.340 Oh, look! 18:40.340 --> 18:41.340 Aren't you overacting? 18:41.340 --> 18:42.340 A little bit, yeah. 18:42.340 --> 18:43.340 Look! 18:43.340 --> 18:44.340 A tiny island. 18:44.340 --> 18:45.340 Where? 18:45.340 --> 18:46.340 Way out there where I'm pointing. 18:46.340 --> 18:47.340 That's no island. 18:47.340 --> 18:48.340 You've got a word on the end of your finger. 18:48.340 --> 19:01.340 Well, let's make for that. 19:01.340 --> 19:07.340 It's better than nothing at all. 19:07.340 --> 19:20.060 Let's all dive overboard. 19:20.060 --> 19:21.540 Well here we are on the island. 19:21.540 --> 19:22.540 We certainly swam here fast. 19:22.540 --> 19:23.540 We had to to keep up the music. 19:23.540 --> 19:24.540 This island must be inhabited. 19:24.540 --> 19:25.540 There are footprints all along the beach. 19:25.540 --> 19:26.540 Yes, but the prints are only of one foot. 19:26.540 --> 19:27.540 Who could be living on this island? 19:27.540 --> 19:34.960 The 19:34.960 --> 19:37.780 prints are only of one foot. 19:37.780 --> 19:38.780 Who could be living here? 19:38.780 --> 19:39.780 Only one man. 19:39.780 --> 19:40.780 Hop along, Cassidy. 19:40.780 --> 19:45.420 Hey, fellas, I know where we are now. 19:45.420 --> 19:47.040 We're on the island of the headhunters. 19:47.040 --> 19:48.780 They shrink heads down to the size of olives. 19:48.780 --> 19:50.260 What are they using them for? 19:50.260 --> 19:51.260 Martini. 19:51.260 --> 19:52.260 That figure. 19:52.260 --> 19:56.780 Oh, Pish and Todd, if there are any headhunters within a hundred miles of here, my name is 19:56.780 --> 19:57.780 William Shakespeare. 19:57.780 --> 19:58.780 Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave. 19:58.780 --> 19:59.780 Isn't that monstrous that the player is? 19:59.780 --> 20:13.460 Look, oh, look, an arrow is sticking out of the top of your head. 20:13.460 --> 20:14.940 I don't want them to know they've got me. 20:14.940 --> 20:18.660 Quick, pull the arrow out. 20:18.660 --> 20:19.660 We can't pull it out. 20:19.660 --> 20:20.660 Then quick, hammer it in. 20:20.660 --> 20:29.580 I can tell by the marking on that arrow that we're in the land of the Uggermugger Juggerwugger 20:29.580 --> 20:30.580 Bugger Tribe. 20:30.580 --> 20:31.580 The Uggermugger Juggerwugger Lugga Dugga Buggas? 20:31.580 --> 20:32.580 Are they friendly? 20:32.580 --> 20:33.580 Only to other Uggermugger Juggerwugger Buggas. 20:33.580 --> 20:34.580 They must know we're here. 20:34.580 --> 20:35.580 They're sending up smoke signals. 20:35.580 --> 20:36.580 Well, what are they saying? 20:36.580 --> 20:37.580 I don't know. 20:37.580 --> 20:38.580 In school, I flunked smoke. 20:38.580 --> 20:39.580 Oh. 20:39.580 --> 20:40.580 Oh, look, here comes the cannibal chief. 20:40.580 --> 20:41.580 Oh, just look at him. 20:41.580 --> 20:42.580 He's hideous. 20:42.580 --> 20:43.580 Why, are you so amazed? 20:43.580 --> 20:44.580 All cannibals have their faces painted. 20:44.580 --> 20:45.580 Painted, I can understand. 20:45.580 --> 20:46.580 But I can't see anything. 20:46.580 --> 20:47.580 You can't see anything. 20:47.580 --> 20:48.580 You can't see anything. 20:48.580 --> 20:49.580 I can't see anything. 20:49.580 --> 20:50.580 You can't see anything. 20:50.580 --> 20:51.580 You can't see anything. 20:51.580 --> 20:52.580 You can't see anything. 20:52.580 --> 20:59.580 I can't see anything. 20:59.580 --> 21:06.580 I can't see anything. 21:06.580 --> 21:11.580 I can't see anything. 21:11.580 --> 21:22.580 I can't see anything. 21:22.580 --> 21:31.580 I can't see anything. 21:31.580 --> 21:36.580 I can't see anything. 21:36.580 --> 21:43.580 I can't see anything. 21:43.580 --> 21:48.580 I don't see anything. 21:48.580 --> 21:59.580 I can't see anything. 21:59.580 --> 22:02.580 Me fix up little one for snack. 22:02.580 --> 22:04.580 First, pour mushroom overhead. 22:04.580 --> 22:06.580 Put carrot in ears. 22:06.580 --> 22:08.580 Grated parsley on forehead. 22:08.580 --> 22:10.580 Melt the cheese over face. 22:10.580 --> 22:13.580 Look, he's pouring brandy sauce all over my chest. 22:13.580 --> 22:15.580 There, now everything ready. 22:15.580 --> 22:16.580 Ah! 22:16.580 --> 22:18.580 Oh, Jerry, Jerry, what happened? 22:18.580 --> 22:20.580 I couldn't help it, I couldn't help it. 22:20.580 --> 22:21.580 Couldn't help what? 22:21.580 --> 22:36.580 I looked so delicious, I took a bite out of myself. 22:36.580 --> 22:39.580 Don't you want to try a cigarette with a record like this? 22:39.580 --> 22:45.580 The first choice of Young America, according to a recent survey made in 274 colleges. 22:45.580 --> 22:46.580 Chesterfield. 22:46.580 --> 22:51.580 The first cigarette with premium quality in both regular and king size. 22:51.580 --> 22:52.580 Chesterfield. 22:52.580 --> 22:54.580 The cigarette with highest quality. 22:54.580 --> 23:00.580 Proven by chemical analyses to have higher quality than the five other leading brands. 23:00.580 --> 23:01.580 Chesterfield. 23:01.580 --> 23:03.580 And first, to give you this report. 23:03.580 --> 23:10.580 A doctor has been making thorough examinations of a group of Chesterfield smokers every two months for a full year. 23:10.580 --> 23:17.580 And he reports no adverse effects to the nose, throat, and sinuses from smoking Chesterfield. 23:17.580 --> 23:19.580 Try Chesterfield. 23:19.580 --> 23:20.580 Buy a carton. 23:20.580 --> 23:25.580 Much milder Chesterfield is America's best cigarette buy. 23:25.580 --> 23:29.580 You know, there are old songs and then there are songs that never grow old. 23:29.580 --> 23:32.580 The kind that people return to time after time and year after year. 23:32.580 --> 23:38.580 As one of the people, here's my nomination for one of the songs I'd most like to hear more often. 23:38.580 --> 24:01.580 I dream of you more than you dream I do. 24:01.580 --> 24:16.580 How can I prove to you this love is real? 24:16.580 --> 24:27.580 You're mean to me more than you mean to be. 24:27.580 --> 24:40.580 You just can't seem to see the way I feel. 24:40.580 --> 24:53.580 When I am close to you, the world is far away. 24:53.580 --> 25:08.580 The words that fill my heart, my lips can't seem to say. 25:08.580 --> 25:27.580 I want you so more than you'll ever know, more than you dream I do. 25:27.580 --> 25:47.580 I dream of you. 25:57.580 --> 26:20.580 I want you so more than you'll ever know, more than you dream I do. 26:20.580 --> 26:47.580 I dream of you. 26:47.580 --> 26:51.580 Well, Dean, that was wonderful. You know, that's just the kind of song and singing I love to hear. 26:51.580 --> 26:53.580 Well, thank you, Linda. You're very sweet. 26:53.580 --> 26:56.580 Yeah, no, Miss Darnall. How about signing that contract to work with us in the act? 26:56.580 --> 27:00.580 Yeah, Linda, we can park up on Inspiration Point and discuss your problem. 27:00.580 --> 27:02.580 Well, I don't have any problem. 27:02.580 --> 27:06.580 You're not up on Inspiration Point yet. 27:06.580 --> 27:09.580 Jerry, you shouldn't try to give Linda the impression that I'm a wolf. 27:09.580 --> 27:15.580 That's silly, Dean. I'm not a wolf. 27:15.580 --> 27:16.580 Of course not. 27:16.580 --> 27:18.580 You're an octopus. 27:18.580 --> 27:22.580 Oh, that's ridiculous, Jerry. An octopus is something that has eight arms. 27:22.580 --> 27:25.580 You're not up on Inspiration Point yet. 27:25.580 --> 27:27.580 Well, maybe I'd better go home by myself. 27:27.580 --> 27:31.580 Well, if you insist, but really, Linda, it's been a real pleasure to have you with us again. 27:31.580 --> 27:33.580 It sure has, Miss Darnall. Please don't stay away too long. 27:33.580 --> 27:36.580 I won't, fellas. Good night, Dean. Good night, Jerry. 27:36.580 --> 27:37.580 Good night, Linda. 27:37.580 --> 27:50.580 Good night, Miss Darnall. 27:50.580 --> 27:55.580 Hey, Jerry, how about that quality contrast between Chesterfield and the other leading brands? 27:55.580 --> 27:57.580 Yeah, Chesterfield quality is highest. 27:57.580 --> 28:01.580 Sort of makes you wonder why anybody would smoke anything but Chesterfield, doesn't it? 28:01.580 --> 28:02.580 You said it. 28:02.580 --> 28:04.580 Honest friends, if you want the best, there's no doubt about it. 28:04.580 --> 28:07.580 Chesterfield's the one for you. 28:07.580 --> 28:10.580 Try those Chesterfields tomorrow, folks. You'll see what we mean. 28:10.580 --> 28:11.580 They're best for you. 28:11.580 --> 28:13.580 So until next week, this is Dean Martin. 28:13.580 --> 28:15.580 And this is Jerry Lewis saying good night, everybody. 28:15.580 --> 28:16.580 God bless you all. 28:16.580 --> 28:32.580 From Hollywood, you've just heard transcribed the Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis show, 28:32.580 --> 28:36.580 produced and directed by Dick Mack, written by Arthur Phillips and Austin Kalish, 28:36.580 --> 28:39.580 with music prepared and conducted by Dick Stabiel. 28:39.580 --> 28:43.580 And this is George Fenomen reminding you to listen to Chesterfield's award-winning show, 28:43.580 --> 28:46.580 Dragnet, Sunday night on this same NBC station. 28:46.580 --> 28:49.580 Now, new Fatima has the tip for your lips. 28:49.580 --> 28:54.580 Fatima tips of perfect cork, king size for natural filtering, 28:54.580 --> 28:58.580 Fatima quality for a much better flavor and aroma. 28:58.580 --> 29:02.580 So remember, new Fatima has the tip for your lips. 29:02.580 --> 29:06.580 Fatima, see how smooth they are. 29:06.580 --> 29:09.580 Remember, Fatima is made by the makers of Chesterfield. 29:09.580 --> 29:16.580 Liggett and Myers, one of tobacco's most respected names. 29:16.580 --> 29:20.580 Linda Donnell will soon be seeing the RKO production, Second Tank, 29:20.580 --> 29:24.580 co-starring with Robert McGill. 29:24.580 --> 29:29.580 Tonight, visit Fibber McGee and Molly on NBC.