♪♪
The worries of fatherhood are endless, as Mr. Archer can testify, especially this morning.
But the worries of fatherhood are as nothing compared to the worries of daughterhood,
as Corliss can testify, especially this morning.
That's too utterly preposterous.
Now, Corliss, I want you to keep these colors around you.
If I only had something befitting my age, some rare tropical disease, maybe, like beriberi.
Oh, but no, other people can get beriberi.
I have to get the measles.
♪♪♪
Well, did you finally manage to get Corliss covered up?
Yes, but I don't know how long I can keep her that way.
Well, she's not delirious, is she?
No, just bored.
How can she be bored with the measles?
Wouldn't you be?
Well, she just got them this morning.
Do you think she should enjoy them a while before she gets bored?
She has to make a living to pay the doctor.
Ah.
You know, the old homestead is going to be an awful lot different this week.
How do you mean?
Dexter won't be around.
Why not?
Oh, yes, I know, on account of the quarantine.
I'm sorry Corliss had to get measles to accomplish it, but
it'll be very nice to have a little quiet around here.
Ah, peace.
Lovely, peaceful, quiet.
Corliss!
Oh, no!
Oh, Corliss!
Oh, thank heaven.
For what?
We went down out of bounds.
Oh, we what?
We fell outside the house.
We sure did.
Yes, but if we'd fallen inside, you'd have had to stay there.
Oh.
Oh, that's all right, all day.
Dexter, wait.
We have measles.
We have?
Corliss has measles.
Oh.
Oh, holy cow, this is terrible.
Oh, it's not.
Very serious, Dexter.
Oh, no, no, no, it's awful, Mr. Archer, awful.
Well, it's nice of you to feel that way.
I'm sure that Corliss will appreciate it.
You don't realize how serious this thing is.
Oh, well, I...
We're supposed to go to a party tomorrow night.
I'll see you later, Dexter.
I have to go to work.
Mr. Archer.
Yes, Dexter.
I'm worried.
There's only one thing for you to do.
What?
Get yourself another girl.
Oh, Mr. Archer, I could never do that.
I couldn't be unfaithful to Corliss.
I'm no flippity-jibber.
I'm sincere.
I'm sure you are.
Under this inferior exterior lies a superior interior.
Goodbye, Dexter.
Oh, Mr. Archer.
Now what?
Can't I talk to her?
No, you can't.
Not even on the telephone?
Well, she's trying to get some rest.
Couldn't it wait till tomorrow?
No.
Why not?
Because I wanted to tell her, no matter how long she's in for,
I'll be waiting when she gets out.
♪♪♪
There's nothing like a man being faithful to one woman.
It brings happiness and contentment and joy.
That is, it brings happiness and contentment and joy to the woman.
♪♪♪
Corliss, are you ready to take your medicine?
♪♪♪
Corliss, do you think you can manage to rouse yourself for just one minute?
Oh, come on, Corliss.
This medicine isn't that bad.
I must have been dozing when you called.
Oh, hello, Mother.
Hurry up, Corliss.
I want you to take your medicine before I go.
No, I said hello, Mother.
My mother's here.
Dexter says hello, too.
Say hello for me and then get off the phone.
But I can't.
He's telling me something very important.
Go ahead, Dexter.
That sounded very interesting.
Never mind what, just go ahead.
All right, Corliss.
All right, Dexter.
I'll talk to you later.
Goodbye.
That Dexter.
You just can't get him off the phone.
So I see.
Well, dear, I think you've been on that phone enough for one day.
Now don't overdo it.
Remember, you're sick.
But I don't feel sick.
Look, I'm cured.
Corliss, Corliss, now stop that.
Now, then, young lady.
I want you to take a nap.
I'm going shopping with Dexter's mother, and I'll be right back.
All right, Mom.
And don't use the telephone.
Corliss, I thought I told you not to use the telephone.
But I'm not using it, Mom.
I'm just calling Dexter to tell him not to call me.
The telephone is a wonderful invention.
Think of all the lives it's saved.
Think of all the comfort it's brought.
Think of all the parents it's driven out of their minds.
Isn't that a familiar-looking pair of shoes beneath the car?
Looks like the cause of my great burden.
Dexter.
Just a minute.
You were smart to have a girl, Janet.
It's cheaper.
Is there really this much difference between what Dexter eats and Corliss eats?
Well, you've fed him more than once.
You ought to know.
Dexter.
Coming.
Mom, no floorboards.
Great invention.
That girl can walk home without getting out of the car.
Come on and help me with these groceries.
Okay.
Come along.
Oh, my goodness.
I've forgotten my key.
Well, why don't you ring the doorbell?
Corliss is inside.
I don't want her getting out of bed.
Doctor's orders.
Oh.
Well, how are you going to get in?
Well, I don't know, Dexter.
The back door's locked, too.
Well, Harry will be home pretty soon, won't he?
Yeah.
He has to be home in about 20 minutes.
Well, come on over to my house and wait for him, all right?
Wait a minute.
You mean you're going to leave Corliss alone?
For 20 minutes?
I'm sure she'll be all right, Dexter.
Yeah, but what if she needs something?
Like what?
Well, a transfusion.
I want Corliss to get the best of care.
After all, we're engaged to become engaged to be married, and I want her to be healthy.
Someday, when the patter of little feet is heard around our house.
You've already started to think about having children?
No, but I promised Corliss we'd have a cocker spaniel.
Come on, Janet.
I'll get it.
Where do you think you're going?
I'm just going over next door to tell my mother that...
You're not going any place.
You're quarantined.
Holy cow.
Being quarantined for measles is like being in jail.
If you break out, you're in.
Gosh, Mrs. Archer, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to be helpful.
Now, stop worrying, Dexter.
I understand perfectly.
I tried to explain to the man.
I didn't catch any germs.
Oh?
I couldn't have.
I was purposely holding my breath.
Now, don't you forget.
If you get Mrs. Archer's old camping cart down from the attic,
you can sleep in the den and you'll be perfectly...
Excuse me.
Hello?
Oh, yes, Harry.
She's feeling fine.
What?
Oh, dear.
Are you still working on that Patterson deal?
Well, you be sure and get something to eat.
All right, dear.
Try not to be too late.
Is Mr. Archer not coming home for dinner?
He's got to work.
Well, don't worry.
You got a man around the house.
How about me being quarantined here for a week?
You got a hard evening ahead of you in the way it is.
Oh.
If it's true that what you don't know won't hurt you,
I guess it follows that what you do know will hurt you.
And Mr. Archer knows Dexter all too well.
Oh.
Hey.
Burglars.
Hmm?
Burglars.
Hmm.
Oh.
No, no.
Janet, go back upstairs.
There's a burglar.
Go back, Mrs. Archer.
There's a burglar.
My hero.
Tell me it isn't true.
What?
What I think I just heard.
Dexter's voice.
Tell me he isn't here.
We had a little accident this afternoon, dear.
And?
Dexter's quarantined with us.
No.
No, it's not true.
He's not here.
I'll prove it to you.
Watch.
I'll call him.
And he won't come.
Dexter.
Oh, no.
It seems that we both chose the same time to watch.
It's all right, Dexter.
There's room for both of us.
You sure?
Certainly.
Oh, no.
You crumpled the colors.
Oh, gosh, Mr. Archer, I'm sorry.
Oops.
Oh, golly, I hope I haven't ruined it.
It's all right, Dexter.
I can brush it off.
Well, anyway, the shirt's happy.
Yes, why?
It's wagging its tail.
I don't know how I could have been so clumsy.
It's just that it's my last clean white shirt.
Don't worry, Mr. Archer, it won't happen again.
Ow!
Oh, I got salt on my eyes.
I shouldn't have wondered.
Well, where's the towel?
Where's the sink?
Dexter!
Holy cow.
Dexter?
Yes, Mr. Archer?
Now, may I wash my face?
Oh.
Oh, sure.
And do you mind if this time you watch me?
Oh, no, not at all.
And will you do something for me?
Certainly.
Don't touch the soap!
Where's the soap?
Here it is.
Ah, there's nothing like starting the day right.
Mr. Archer did just one thing wrong this morning.
He woke up.
Harry, what are you doing with that shirt?
I've decided to wear a plaid shirt to the office.
Don't ask me why, I've just decided.
What are you doing?
I've decided to count the days for the next week.
Don't ask me why, I've just decided.
Carlos, are you awake?
I've been awake all night.
What were you doing downstairs?
Oh, I thought your father was a burglar.
There is a burglar loose in the neighborhood, you know.
There is?
Yeah, haven't you been reading the papers?
He broke into a house just three blocks away from here last night.
Golly, what if he broke in here?
Boy, if he ever comes near this house, I'll fix him.
I'm going to build a burglar trap.
A burglar trap?
Yeah.
I haven't figured out all the details yet, but they're churning around in my mind.
There's just a few things I've got left to work out.
But I've got a mechanical brain.
There's just a few parts missing.
Dexter should make a good Sherlock Holmes.
He went to detective school.
What school?
Elementary, my dear Watson.
I got it, I tell you.
I've been working on it for five days now and I finally figured it out.
The way you do it is you use a rope.
He's been on that phone almost an hour.
It's got to stop soon.
I have an important call to make.
Who do you suppose he can be talking to that long?
His mother, maybe.
For an hour?
She probably misses him.
Suppose Dexter were your son and he was away from home for five days and you couldn't see.
Never mind.
Find some way to get him off the phone.
Well, I'll try.
Writing to the mayor?
A congressman?
The Bureau of Pest Control?
Dear Dexter, Mr. Archer has an important call to make.
Will you please finish as soon as possible?
Thank you.
I hope it works.
We'll see.
Well, actually, it's real easy if you know how.
You've got to have the kind of...
Bye.
I'm sorry if I kept you waiting, Mr. Archer.
That's all right, Dexter.
Did you finish your call?
No, but I could finish it upstairs.
Oh.
I was just talking to Corliss on the extension.
Mr. Archer's not an unreasonable man.
He knows that boys are only young once.
The only trouble is that that once lasts for so long.
Corliss, I want you to rest an hour or so before supper.
But, Mom, I feel fine.
I know, and I want you to stay that way.
But I don't have needles anymore, and the quarantine goes off tomorrow.
Well, don't exert yourself.
I'm going to the store.
I'll be back in a little while.
My goodness, Dexter, what are you doing with all this wire?
I'm building a burglar trap.
Oh?
Well, don't hurt yourself.
Where are you going?
I've got to run these coils away around the house to the kitchen door.
Then I'll go.
Be careful, Dexter.
Now she tells me.
Dexter's not really clumsy.
He's just unlucky.
As he slides down the banister of life,
all the splinters are pointing the wrong way.
Are you sure that pulley will hold?
I'm sure I fasted there tonight.
That's what I mean.
What's that for?
Well, that's the burglar alarm.
See, when the burglar steps on this, it rings a bell in the den.
Golly, you're wonderful.
Yeah.
What kind of a knot is that?
It's a hangman's knot.
Gosh, you're not going to hang him without a trial, are you?
See, when I pull the end of this wire in the den...
Dexter, what are you...
Whack!
That's dangerous work Dexter's doing.
But then life is a dangerous thing.
Few of us get out of it alive.
My goodness, is that Patterson matter still dragging on?
What a shame.
Oh, she's fine.
She and Dexter are working on some big invention.
I don't know, one of Dexter's ideas.
Well, keeps him out of mischief.
All right, dear.
Try not to be too late.
Mr. Archer, going to miss some more of your wonderful cooking tonight?
Yep.
Gosh, you know something Mrs. Archer?
Sure is fun living in the same house with Corliss.
Sort of practice for when we're going to get married.
Your mind is really made up about marrying my daughter, isn't it Dexter?
Boy, I'll say it is.
She's so wonderful.
So beautiful.
She's got such cute little ears.
Such a cute little nose.
Boy, the way she's built.
You know something Mrs. Archer?
What?
It's amazing the wonderful things nature can do with skin.
Ah, love.
Ah, youth.
Ah, dreams.
Ah, bliss.
Ah, romance.
Ah, why don't I shut up?
Really, Corliss?
I love you too.
Hey!
Holy cow.
Golly, Dexter, you caught Daddy in your trap.
Dexter, I might have known.
Now, if you'll release my foot, I'll show you a little trick.
Yes, sir.
I think you'll get a kick out of it.
I don't think the game Mr. Archer has in mind is football.
It's probably more like hide and go seek.
Dexter better hide or else he'll have to go seek a soft place to sit down.
Well, this is the last day.
The quarantine will be lifted and we'll lose Dexter.
This takes me back a long way.
What do you mean?
I haven't felt like this since that glorious day 20 years ago when I lost an impacted wisdom tooth.
Well, Dexter, you came through all right.
Yeah, I sure did.
I just looked in the mirror and I don't have a measle to my name.
Not one measly measle.
Well, that must be the health officer.
I'll get it.
Good morning.
Dr. Wilson reported you were all clear, so I've just come to take the signs up.
Well, I've got to get down to the office.
Can I give you a lift downtown?
Why, yes.
Thank you.
Bye, dear.
Bye.
Take it easy, you two.
Bye, Daddy.
Goodbye, Mr. Archer.
Thanks a million for everything.
Dexter, will you give a message to your father for me?
Yeah, sure.
What is it?
Just tell him...
What a boy.
Yes, he certainly is.
Hey, Mr. Archer, I want to make the house look better.
What for?
Home official business.
It'll just take a minute.
All right.
Mr. Archer?
Yes?
I don't know how you're going to take this, Mr. Archer, but you've got measles.
We're all quarantined together again.
Oh, no!
How are you feeling, Daddy?
Just fine, dear.
Well, you just relax.
I'm immune now, and I'll take care of you.
Yeah, me too.
You just lie down.
We'll have you well in no time, Mr. Archer.
Now, just lie down and relax.
No, no, Dexter.
Let him sit up and breathe.
No, no, he should lie down and relax.
No, no, Dexter, the best way to relax is to lie down.
No, no, it's much better for him to lie down and relax.
I'm immune now, and I'll take care of you.
All right.