CHAPTER IX

THE CALIFORNIANS

San Francisco, California.

I AM now in California, the Promised Land of the
American people, though some say the Promised
Land is Florida (a State thought lightly of in
California, as California is thought lightly of
there), while others, namely, the Mormons, place
the centre of it in Salt Lake City, and not without
reason according to reports. When I was in
Florida, I was myself convinced that I had found
the Promised Land; I am equally convinced
of it in California, and doubtless when I arrive at
Salt Lake City the Mormons will persuade me to
support their claim. Which only means, after all,
that Uncle Sam is luckier than Moses in having
three Promised Lands wherein he may escape
from his Egyptian bondage to the almighty dollar
and learn to worship the true God, He has
hardly done so yet. There are Canaanites and
Hittites, to say nothing of Philistines, still dwelling
in all three of his Promised Lands engaged in
their heathen practice of converting God's own
country into real estate and making off with the
spoils. The Joshua who is to shatter their

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