I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys.
Yes boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness.
Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly straight into your living room, your friend the comic weekly man,
the jolly comic weekly man.
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Miss Honey, how are you today?
Oh, I'm just wonderful. Answer me a riddle.
I'll answer your riddle if you'll ask it to me.
What has a pen but cannot write?
Oh, that's easy. You when you're asleep.
Well, yes, that's true, but that's not the real answer.
Oh, then what is the real answer?
A pig.
Oh, that's very good. A pig has a pen but it can't write.
Now I'll ask you something. What famous American has a birthday on the 22nd of February?
Um, can't you give me a hint?
Yes, his first name is George.
George, George, can you give me another little hint?
Yes, his last name is Washington.
Oh, I know, George Washington.
Well, how did you guess?
I remembered it from the stories about Dick's adventures with George Washington.
You have a wonderful memory.
Yes, I have, haven't I? Now read me the sentence, please.
Puck the Comic Weekly? Very well, I will in just a moment.
But before I do, let's listen to this nice man.
Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly.
And on the first page, Hop Along Cassidy.
Oh, goody, goody, Hoppy, Hoppy.
Manzy Grits for the music, please.
Very well, my lady.
Six guns blazing as he thunders along.
Give us music for Hop Along.
Hoppy and some of the men from the Stebbins Ranch
succeeded in outwitting Calico and her men in a gunfight in Sulphur City.
But then things took a turn and began to look bad for them.
All of a sudden, a party of horsemen led by California and Lucky
sweeps into Sulphur City, throwing Calico's men into panic.
A short battle ensues, and in no time at all,
Calico's gang are rounded up by the men from the Bar 20 Ranch.
First picture, second row, California asks,
Hey, where's Hoppy, Jeff?
And one of the men from the Stebbins Ranch who'd been fighting alongside of Hoppy earlier says,
Well, by Jindry must have gone after the ringleader of these alhoots.
Lucky says, Well, come on, we're rounding up what's left of them.
Meanwhile, inside the Sulphur City Hotel,
Hoppy has found a secret door behind the desk leading down to the basement.
He starts down saying, Well, she's got to be here someplace.
This could explain things.
Slowly, Hoppy descends the stairs, gun in hand.
He finds a secret tunnel.
He advances cautiously along, saying,
Seems to lead directly beneath the street.
He finds some other stairs at the end of this passageway leading up.
Slowly, Hoppy climbs the steps.
He finds a trap door, and she carefully pushes up, last picture of the row.
It's a heavy trap door, and he has to use both hands.
He comes up into a large store room, and is confronted by Calico, gun in hand.
She tells him to drop his gun.
Hoppy has no alternative.
He finds himself in a large barn-like room filled with stacks of supplies,
and Calico's prisoner.
First picture bottom row, Calico tells him that by the time his friends find his body,
she'll be gone with enough gold from these dummy feed bags to last her forever.
That she doesn't need Bullwhip or the Silver Fox or two henchmen any longer.
At this moment, Silver Fox, who is down in the same room, comes around the sack,
grabs her wrist saying, Leave me to die, will you?
As they struggle for the gun, they back into the piled up sacks of gold.
Hoppy yells, Look out!
But it's too late. Sacks fall over.
And they're completely buried, Calico and Silver Fox,
and they're crushed beneath the weight of the gold.
At this moment, Sagebrush comes in the door, last picture, and says,
Hey, I thought I heard something crash. Where's Calico?
Hoppy replies, Buried under the spoil she stole.
There's enough of it here to rebuild Sulphur City into the decent community
you folks have always wanted, Sagebrush.
Oh, it was certainly lucky for Hoppy that those bags fell over just when they did.
Yes, saved Hoppy.
But wasn't it awful where those sacks fell on Calico?
Mm-hmm, it just goes to prove sometimes that if all you think about is money and yourself,
it could do you no good, even when you think you do have it.
Yes, it's better to be unselfish and share it,
like giving the bigger half of the apples to your friend.
That's a very wonderful thought.
Yes, it is, isn't it?
Now?
Oh, is Prince Valiant next like he was last week?
Well, let's turn over the page and see. Yes, there he is on page three.
Oh, good. Val's been having the most interesting adventure,
and he's come to the most interesting place, and I want to find out more about it.
Very well, then. Let's read Prince Valiant and the days of King Arthur.
Hecate, Brackett, Graymulcan, and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince.
High in the Alps, Prince Val and his companions take shelter in a monastery.
From here, they hope to find a pass over the mountains
for all other roads to Rome are blocked by enemies.
The monastery is a fortress, for this is the fifth century,
and from the east and the north, the pagan hordes come,
wave upon wave, like a tide that sweeps all Europe and even to Africa.
But even so, brave men leave the safety of its walls
to teach Christianity in a turbulent world.
Last picture top row, we see one of these friars
as he goes out from the castle to go into the world
and preach the word of God to the people.
First picture next row, we see a scholar working among his holy books.
It is such men as these who live in this monastery.
Val, in the picture in the middle of the page,
goes to the abbot who is the head of the monastery
and tells him of his mission to Rome and asks his insistence.
The abbot listens to his story and readily agrees to help Val.
Last picture of the row, he calls for a guide
to show Val the pass over the mountains.
The guide comes in and Val goes with him to prepare for the journey.
As the two walk along slowly, the guide tells Val,
the way is long and perilous.
You will need special clothing and equipment.
First picture bottom row, he takes Val to the workshop,
and there the guide has Val fitted with warm clothes
and he says, only by using these garments of quilted chamois skins
can you survive the bitter cold.
Alas, you and your friends will need our entire supply.
When Val realizes that he's going to use up the entire supply of chamois skins,
which are much like a deer skin, he says to the guide,
well, tell me where I may find these chamois,
and I'll bring back a new supply of skins.
Well, I think that's very thoughtful of Val
because maybe the people in the monastery aren't such good hunters as Val is.
Maybe so, and next week maybe we'll go on one of these hunting trips with Val.
Oh, that'd be fun.
Yes, well now let's go over the page.
Oh, there's Brar Rabbit.
Yes, Uncle Remus and his Tales of Brar Rabbit,
and that I'll read right away.
Say the magic words with me.
Hipity-hopity, make it a habit to give us music for old Brar Rabbit.
Uncle Remus says,
when Brar Rabbit gets the spring fever, he tries mighty hard to keep it.
Yes, this is the day when Brar Rabbit has spring fever,
and he's lying under a tree on the hill carrying on a conversation
with little old Brar Junebug who is buzzing around in front of him.
Brar Rabbit says,
Brar Junebug, folks don't give you credit for being as smart as you is.
And little old Brar Junebug, he says,
You is isn't it?
At this moment, Brar Fox, the club in hand, tips-toes up behind Brar Rabbit.
He knocks Brar Rabbit out.
And as Brar Rabbit lies there unconscious,
Brar Fox picks him up by the ears saying,
I's gonna put this rabbit where he ain't never gonna see no more springtime.
A lot of time later, last picture top row, Brar Rabbit comes to.
He sits up and looks around,
and he knows he's in a place where he didn't come before,
and he knows he's in a place he didn't come by himself.
So he says,
Where is I? And what happened?
Little old Brar Junebug who is buzzing around tells Brar Rabbit,
You is lost. You is in the swamp.
Take off your shirt and unravel some string, and I'll get you out.
So Brar Rabbit takes off his shirt, unravels a piece of string from it,
and first picture bottom row, Brar Junebug says,
Now just tie it under my leg, and then you hold on to the other end.
And Brar Rabbit says,
And you leads me out. Ah!
A little while later, out of the swamp, Brar Junebug says,
Here he is, Brar Rabbit. Safe and zoned.
Brar Rabbit replies,
Brar Junebug, you is a friend for keeps.
And Brar Rabbit puts on his shirt, picks up a club,
and goes off in search of Brar Fox.
And he finds Brar Fox lying under the same old tree that Brar Rabbit was lying under.
And Brar Fox is saying to himself,
Ah, yes sir, this is a heap better world than living without that smart aleck rabbit.
And Brar Rabbit tips those up behind him.
And knocks Brar Fox out.
And last picture as Brar Fox lies on the ground knocked out wearing a very aching head.
Brar Rabbit leans back against the tree, overcome with spring fever again, and he says,
Ah, sir Brar Junebug, folks sure don't give you credit for being as smart as you is.
And Brar Junebug says,
You zis it.
And Uncle Rema says,
Friendship is strong even when it's hanging by a thread.
I'm so happy. Brar Rabbit has a friend like Brar Junebug. Isn't it cute the way he says, zis?
You bizzity.
I've always been so happy when Brar Rabbit out foxes wear fox.
You bizzity.
Well, now what?
Well, now isn't it time for dag wood and blondies?
It certainly is, so just pick up the first page of the second section of Buck the Comic Weekly.
I have a track here in front of me.
And here we go with Dag Wood and Blondie.
Ramaphoo ramaphum zim zam zombee.
Conjure music for Dag Wood and Blondie.
Dag Wood is lying on the sofa taking a nap. Blondie tells him,
Dag Wood, shame on you. Napping when there are so many things to be done around here.
Dag Wood replies, I'm always tired. Blondie holds up a bottle of pills.
I bought some of these vitamin pills that Mrs. McNuck recommended and I want you to take some.
And she goes out of the room.
Last picture top row, Dag Wood sauners out into the kitchen and says,
Yeah, Blondie's right. I sleep too much. I'll try some of these pills.
First picture next row, he says,
Well, here goes. And he pours half the bottle of pills down his throat.
Few minutes later, mop and pale in hand, Dag Wood comes down the hallway full of zip saying,
Oh boy, these pills are loaded with dynamite. I feel them working already.
Last picture of the row, the neighbors see Dag Wood busily polishing the windows.
Herb Woodley says, Hey, word bombs spread. Get all the pep all of a sudden.
Another neighbor says, Search me.
First picture next row, Dag Wood is plastering the ceiling.
An hour later, he's mopping the floor.
Last picture of the row, he's down in the basement building a platform under the wash tub.
First picture bottom row, he's upstairs again and he holds up the bottle of pills to Blondie and says,
These pills are wonderful. I'm a ball of fire.
And he leaps in the air and kicks his heels together.
And he dances around the kitchen, happy as can be.
Blondie looks at the pill bottle and then she suddenly exclaims,
These aren't vitamins. They're the mange cure for the dog.
And Dag Wood goes, At the thought that he's eaten dog food.
He falls to the floor in a faint.
And last picture of the row, Blondie's on the phone saying to the dog doctor,
Hello, Mr. Snape, Dr. Snape, the veterinarian. Please hurry over. I have a patient for you.
Oh, welcome. That's funny. Dag Wood works so hard because he thought he's taken vitamin medicine.
Yes, and then he passes out when he learns that he's taken dog medicine.
Oh, look underneath Dag Wood, there's Roy Rogers. Read that, please.
Very well. I will in just a minute. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say.
Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly.
And on the first page of the second section at the bottom, Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys.
Magic words for the music, please.
Very well, my lady. Ayipayo. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ayipayo.
Roy's on his way to Saddle Bute. He saw a driver lashing his horses unmercifully, galloping along in the road below him.
Roy quickly overtook the wagon and stopped the driver and found it was J. Lucian Dangerfield,
owner of the Wild West Circus whom Roy had met some time before.
As Roy asked Dangerfield what was his big hurry, a convict poked a gun out from under a blanket where he was hiding, getting the drop on Roy.
And he ordered Roy to give him his clothes. Roy's picture today, he says,
Hurry up with the Dutch cowboy. I want to get rid of this prison suit.
Roy starts to take off his neckerchief saying, I'm doing the best I can, Dangerfield.
And Dangerfield says, Again, Roy, I'm sorry to involve you in this predicament. This convict commented my vehicle.
As the convict looks at Dangerfield, just for a second, Roy whips his hat into the convict's face.
Roy leaps at him saying, Your gun hands rusty from your spell and jail handles.
Give me the rifle or you might hurt somebody.
And a minute later, Roy has the gun away from him. Quickly he hands the gun to Dangerfield while he ties the convict's arm behind him.
He says, The sheriff of Saddlebute will be plumb happy to get his hands on you, Baldwin.
Dangerfield exclaims, By Jove, Roy, we've captured the villain.
Ah, the publicity will assure a sellout when my wild west show opens in town.
Last picture, Top Row, Roy makes Baldwin get on the ant wagon.
As Baldwin sits in the seat, his arms tied behind him, he snarls, No jail can hold me long.
I'll square accounts with you too if it's the last thing I do. Write that in your hat.
Dangerfield, still holding the gun, exclaims, Silence, Vali-trol, I'll plug you.
I can see myself now before the audience, giving a hair-raising account.
Suddenly Baldwin gives the horses a kick, yelling, Yahoo, get your devils.
Roy yells, Watch out, he's snapping the team. Quickly, Roy leaps in the saddle.
After him, triggered, he can't handle those horses with his hands tied.
He gallops after the runaway team.
As the runaway horses come around the bend on the edge of the cliff,
the wagon catches on a huge rock, the trace is snapped,
and the wagon runs wild, careening over the edge, and rolls down the mountainside, pitching Baldwin out.
Last picture, Roy reigns in trigger, exclaiming, He hasn't a chance trigger, he'll be busted to bits.
Oh, that man must have been crazy to make the horses run away when he was tied up like that.
Yes, but desperate men try desperate actions.
Well, this one certainly did. You think he was killed?
Well, that's something we'll find out next week.
Oh, I certainly hope that when he was thrown out of the wagon that he didn't fall in a tree or something
and have the ropes busted and then have him get away
because then he would come after Roy and try to kill him.
Well, that's something else we'll find out next week.
But I have a funny feeling we haven't heard the last of Handel's Baldwin.
Oh, these adventures are so exciting.
Mm-hmm. Well, now shall we see what's on the next page?
Oh, yes, and I hope it's... how could this... it is! It's Flash Gordon.
Last week, Flash and Dale had escaped from the Dragon's Cave when the wizards tried to kill them.
Yes, they'd escaped by way of the underground river
which took their raft straight to the place where the river channel supplies power to the wizards' machinery.
And then they unlocked the grating that kept the logs and things from going in and busting up the machinery.
Then they lifted the grating up on top above the door leading to the engine chamber and waited.
And sure enough, logs did go in and the engines didn't work or something
because the wizard and his helpers came out of the door.
And I'm so anxious to see if Flash drops that great big grate on him.
Well, let's find out right now with Flash Gordon.
Rigga-rigga-doon-doons, ask him a task. Let's have music for heroic Flash.
As the wizard and his troubleshooters pour out of the tunnel,
Flash hurls down the heavy grating like a giant net.
He shouts to Fino, grab their tools, we can use them as weapons.
As the heavy grating pins the men to the ground beneath it, last picture top row with a roar of rage,
the wizard leaps for the tunnel to lock the escaped door.
But Flash is too quick for him. The duel is short and fierce.
Are you? There!
Flash knocks the wizard out.
Then having defeated him and his followers, Flash puts on the wizard's robe saying,
Come on, Dale, Sunnee, into the tunnel quickly. This is just the first step toward freedom.
First picture bottom row, they hurry into the tunnel, barring the door behind them against the chute.
Flash leads the way deeper into the unknown perils of this underground kingdom.
The tunnel ends in another locked door. Flash says,
Well, let's try the wizard's staff as a key.
The door magically slides open to reveal the well-guarded heart of the wizard's underworld empire.
Flash boldly steps forward, risking everything on his crude disguise.
Oh, do you think that the rest of the wizard's men will really believe that Flash is the wizard?
I hope so.
Yes, but the wizard was wearing a beard and flashes.
I know. Flash is really taking a great big risk.
Well, next week we'll find out more about this, but now I think it's time for Dick's Adventures.
Is that on the last page again this week?
How did you guess?
I guessed.
Yes, and you guessed right.
Last week, Dick woke up, remember? This week, I hope he starts another dream as exciting as the last one.
Well, let's find out now. So here we go with Dick's Adventures on the last page.
And say the magic words with me.
Rigidipakazakazik. Let's have music for Adventurist Dick.
Dick's sister and he are talking about early days of American history.
They're talking about Lafayette, a Frenchman who came from France to help George Washington at a time when Washington needed much help.
Dick's sister tells him she knows that Lafayette was the most dramatic figure in American history.
Rich, handsome, and noble.
Suddenly she looks up and finds Dick has fallen asleep.
Dick is already dreaming.
Last picture top row. We are with Dick in his dream.
He's on a ship and an officer in a French army uniform is striding toward him.
First picture next row, the officer says,
Are you not the American boy which your Mr. Benjamin Franklin in Paris has sent to teach us the English speaking?
Oh, I am Baron de Calde.
And Dick, who still remembers his history learned in the year 1950,
and who never expects himself to be meeting such a famous man,
gasps, Oh, yes sir.
And the Baron leads Dick to the cabin, opens the door,
and as he closes it, last picture top row,
Dick Cal bow stiffly and says, Marquis de Lafayette.
But the Marquis waits for no ceremony. He springs from his chair and greets Dick effusively.
With astonishment, Dick sees that Lafayette is scarcely 20 years old.
There's hardly time for English lessons because they're nearing the American coast and soon will land.
Lafayette makes Dick's task easy because he desires to learn only one phrase,
and this he finally learns so well that he has no difficulty saying it.
He repeats it again, first picture bottom row, proudly holding his sword in hand.
General Washington, I come to fight for American freedom.
The whole of France wishes you well.
As the vessel nears the American coast, the excitement grows intense.
Fortunately, no British gunboats are in sight.
A landing is made on the South Carolina shore,
and quickly the men head inland to make their way to join Washington, who is still far away.
Shortly, weeks later, with Dick as their guide,
last picture Lafayette, Baron de Calb, and their companions reach Independence Hall in Philadelphia.
But here, a shock awaits them.
They are stopped by an armed guard as they seek entry to the hall where the famous Continental Congress meets.
Well, why does the sentry stop them when they've gone to all that trouble to get there?
Well, it seems the sentry doesn't know who they are.
Oh, that's easy. You can see who Dick is. He's been there before.
Yes, but only in his dreams. And Lafayette is a stranger to that man.
Oh, oh, I forgot.
Uh-huh. Well, you better be here next week.
Oh, I will. Isn't that Lafayette a handsome man?
Yes, he certainly is.
I just love him in that three-cornered hat.
I like the sword better.
I like the hat.
Well, that front corner is interesting. Well, now look underneath Dick's adventure.
Oh, Rusty Rally, this is so exciting because last week Rusty, who had trailed Squire Boggs and Captain Clune, trapped them below the deck of the old schooner house.
Yes, just the way they had trapped Dick first.
And yes, and just in the nick of time, Tex and Mr. Kilgore came along the path and Flip led them right to where Rusty was sitting on the old schooner.
Then Kilgore investigated and found some mysterious cylinders that Captain Clune and Squire Boggs had stored away in the cabin of the old schooner.
And then he came and told Rusty that Rusty had caught the smugglers and Tex was so surprised.
And so was Rusty.
Yes, let's find out what happens now.
Very well, here we go with Rusty Rally.
Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty.
Music
Kilgore makes his astonishing statement.
Rusty exclaims, what do you mean the case is solved Mr. Kilgore? What did you find down there in the cabin?
Mr. Kilgore replies, well those cylinders are hermetically sealed and contain silks for one thing, maybe a lot of other stuff.
Then they remove the hatch cover and Kilgore calls down, come on up Boggs, you too Clune, you're under arrest for violation of the United States customs regulations.
Rusty says, here they come.
Squire Boggs and Clune face him, last picture top rule.
Kilgore says, well you two, will you come along quietly or must I call a coast guardsman and put handcuffs on you?
Squire Boggs exclaims, well look here sir, I'm not accustomed to this sort of indignity.
I'll see to it that you'll answer for this high-handed outrage.
And Captain Clune snorts, you've been listening to some crazy made-up yarn from that darn young chap.
First picture bottom row Kilgore says, all right, you can explain your outraged innocence to a federal court.
But if you're smart, you'll make a clean breast of the whole thing. Get going.
A little later at the Miles house, Mr. Kilgore is talking to Mr. Miles.
Sorry we had to disturb you Mr. Miles, but I have to say Mr. Boggs nephew Anthony.
Also I'm expecting a call from the Coast Guard.
Mr. Miles who is amazed that the story is heard and proud of Rusty's work in solving the mystery of the smugglers, responds,
oh think nothing of it Mr. Kilgore, but don't tell me that the children's teacher is a criminal.
At that moment the phone rings. Mr. Kilgore answers it.
Hello, yes it's Kilgore. You have? Well good work. I'll just keep him under guard until morning.
That was smart work. As he hangs up the phone last picture, Mr. Kilgore tells Mr. Miles,
well this case is rapidly being wrapped up. That was the Coast Guard.
They have a boat and crew that were working with Boggs and Clune.
At this moment Anthony, Mr. Boggs nephew comes in. Mr. Miles says,
well here's Anthony Mr. Kilgore. He doesn't seem to know what this is all about.
Oh isn't that wonderful. I'm so pleased with Rusty. He's such a hero.
Just imagine a little boy solving that great big case. Yes, I'll bet Tex is mighty proud of him.
Say, do you think that Anthony's telling a fib when he says he doesn't know what this is all about?
I'm not sure, but maybe we'll find out more about him next week.
But before I go, here's that fellow with some more interesting information.
Well honey and all you boys and girls, I gotta go now.
Alright Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week.
Okay, that's a date and a date with all you boys and girls.
Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Pop the Comic Weekly.
For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.
I'll be back next week.
When I read Pop the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.
I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys.
Don't forget boys and girls, see you all next week.
Your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.
The End