I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys.
Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness.
Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the comic weekly man,
the jolly comic weekly man.
Hello, hello, hello.
Hello, hello, hello.
Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today?
I've got another riddle for you. Fine, thank you. So would you like to hear it?
I'd love to hear it. Fine, thank you. Right away.
All right. What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
To balance yourself without falling off?
No.
To keep your feet from slipping off the pedals?
No.
To steer it straight instead of zigzagging so people won't think you're an egg beater?
No.
All right, I give up. What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
The sidewalk.
Oh, that's funny. If you fall off a bicycle, you go bang on a hard sidewalk.
And that's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle. Did you like it?
Oh, yes, it was very, very good.
I did too. Now can we please read the funny?
Puck the Comic Weekly? Very well, I'll read that in just a moment.
But before I do, let's listen to this nice man.
Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, bringing up father.
Magic words for the music, please.
Very well, my lady. Rig-a-doon-a-doon-a-rig. Let's have a merry Irish jig.
It's a rainy day. And there are leaks all over the roof of Jigs' apartment.
As the water pours in through the holes in the ceiling, Jigs sets pails under the streams.
But he finds that the water comes in faster than he can carry it out.
Last picture, top row, Jigs is on the phone talking to his landlord.
I don't care if you are busy. You got to fix the roof.
His apartment is a miniature of the Johnstone Fud.
First picture, second row, the landlord answers.
Oh, please don't bother me, Mr. Jigs. I'm a busy man.
Why don't you wait till the sun comes out?
Jigs turns to the maid.
Listen, Greta, go in the closet and kick me that big drill.
I'm going to fix that landlord downstairs.
Ten minutes later, last picture, second row, Jigs is drilling a hole in the floor under the biggest leak.
Here you know what rain is. There you know.
Now get me a funnel.
First picture, bottom row, the maid hands Jigs a funnel.
He puts the funnel in the hole he has drilled.
And the water coming through the leak in the ceiling pours right into the funnel and through the hole in the floor into the landlord's apartment below.
And Jigs says, won't he be surprised when he gets home.
An hour later, a figure approaches the house walking through the pouring rain.
It's Jigs' landlord.
Oh boy, this is some rain.
Well, I'll be glad to get home where it's dry.
He goes up the steps, opens the door.
What's this?
And he finds his own water up to his knees.
He looks up and sees the water pouring through the ceiling.
And he goes.
Oh, that Jigs. He certainly got even with his landlord.
I bet he did. And I'll bet now the landlord is sorry he was too busy to have the roof fixed.
Yes, it'll cost him a lot of money to get his furniture cleaned up.
Yes, you bet it will.
Well, now let's turn over the page and go past little iodine and Prince Val on page three.
Turn over that page.
Oh look, look, here's Brer Rabbit.
Yes, little old Brer Rabbit.
Oh please read that.
I most certainly will. So here we go with Uncle Remus and his tales of Brer Rabbit. Say the magic words with me.
Hippity hoppity, make it a habit to give us music for old Brer Rabbit.
Uncle Remus says, Brer Bar usually needs more help than he gives.
Brer Rabbit and Brer Bar have just come from the barber shop.
They see Doc Crane come out of his office.
Brer Rabbit, who loves the tears, says to Doc Crane with a twinkle in his eye,
Um, is you feeling all right, Doc Crane? You looks like you has got the miserocity.
Uh, I does.
And Doc Crane begins to feel a little dizzy.
Uh, now that you mention it, I, I does feel kind of woozy. I guess I, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Hey, it's Fainton.
And Brer Rabbit catches Doc Crane and puts him on the sidewalk.
Last picture top row, he turns to Brer Bar.
Quick, Brer Bar, get the smelling salts.
Uh, uh, yeah, the smelly salts.
First picture bottom row, Brer Bar comes out of the doctor's office with a bottle in his hands.
Uh, uh, here's the smelly salts. Whiff him. Quick, quick, quick, quick.
Yeah, that'll fix him.
Brer Rabbit takes the cork off the bottle, lifts up Doc Crane's head,
holds the bottle under Doc Crane's nose.
Now breathe deep, Doc. Breathe deep.
Uh, yeah, I'll whiff it hard.
Doc Crane takes a couple of deep sniffs.
Uh, uh.
And suddenly his eyes close.
Uh.
And his head drops to the sidewalk.
Uh.
Hey, what's wrong?
Yeah, hey.
Last picture, Brer Rabbit looks at the bottle he's holding and reads.
Chloriform.
You crank-sided lummox, this is chloriform.
This puts people to sleep.
Oh, how do I know? I can't read.
And Uncle Remus says,
Uh, the misery begins when the wrong cure starts.
Oh, oh, oh.
That Brer Bar, isn't he the dumb one?
Yes, Dash is inside to get a bottle of smelling salts,
which helps you wake up from a faint,
and he comes out instead with chloriform,
which puts you sound asleep.
And then he says he can't read.
Oh, he'd have been a lot smarter if he told that to Brer Rabbit
before he ran inside.
Yeah, so that was a funny story.
Well, now look across the page.
There's Roger's
Oh, and I'm anxious to read that because Roy is beginning a new adventure.
Yes, a little boy pursued by two men rode up begging Roy to help him.
And the boy had found a saddle lying by the river,
and he put it on his horse and rode away.
And then two men came after him,
and one of them wants the saddle for some strange reason.
Yes, and they want it so badly that one of the men was going to shoot the boys
he rode away last week.
I wonder if he will. That would be terrible.
Well, let's read now and find out.
Here we go.
With Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys.
Ayyip-ay-o. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger.
Ayyip-ay-o.
The boy, chilly, rides off while the two men are talking to Roy.
Roy heads after the boy on Trigger.
One of the men, named Gaffer,
picks up his rifle and takes it to the boys.
And then the boy is going to go to the boys
and he's going to go to the boys.
And then the boys are going to go to the boys.
And then the boys are going to go to the boys.
And then the boys are going to go to the boys.
And then the boy, named Gaffer,
picks up his rifle and takes aim at the boy.
I'll stop that kid, Cash, and Rogers too.
The man named Cash knocks the rifle out of Gaffer's hand.
Here, drop that gun, Gaffer.
You want to ruin everything?
Why, what do you mean, ruin everything?
We'll follow him.
Watch our chance and then grab that saddle.
It's worth a fortune to me.
Now come on, let's go.
Some distance away, Roy overtakes the runaway boy.
Hey, chilly, ease up. Slow up, will you?
But those men, they say I steal these saddle from a dead man,
Senor Roy. They'll put me in the calaboos.
And now wait a minute, wait a minute.
Slow down there, chilly.
The boy slows down.
And as they counter along, last picture top row, Roy says,
Now we'll see the dead man's niece in Bird's Creek.
Maybe she'll know why that pair is so interested in her.
And then the boy, named Gaffer,
maybe she'll know why that pair is so interested in an old saddle.
First picture bottom row, Roy and chilly come to a stop
before the newspaper office in Bird's Creek.
A beautiful young girl comes to the door.
Roy greets her.
Miss Preston, my young friend chilly found your uncle's saddle in Stones Canyon,
where we're turning it.
As Roy goes inside to talk to the girl, chilly says,
Hey, I'll wait out here, Senor Roy.
Roy learns from Miss Preston that her uncle had spent a lot of time in Stone Canyon,
but had never told her why,
that she must find out about her uncle's death.
Roy says,
Well, I'll be glad to help track down the killers, Miss Preston.
Roy Rogers is the name.
And suddenly from outside, Senor Roy, help, help!
Roy looks through the window and sees the man named Cash holding chilly
and Gaffer removing the saddle from chilly's horse.
Roy makes a run.
As he comes through the door, Cash sticks out his foot and trips Roy.
And Gaffer runs down the street carrying the saddle.
Hey Roy, that one has his saddle! Catch him, catch him!
Oh, isn't that terrible?
Those two men sneaked up when Roy was inside the newspaper office.
Yes, and before Roy could get out, Gaffer had loosened the saddle and started a run off.
And I wonder if he'll get away with it now.
I wonder too.
I wonder what's so important about that saddle.
Why are they so anxious to get it?
Well, maybe we'll find out more about that next week.
Now let's turn over the page and look here on page six.
Here's Flash Gordon.
And you remember Flash is in on a strange planet called Titan
where he's come face to face with a giant who's as big as a tall building.
And Flash has set a trap to try to catch the giant.
It's a very strange trap too.
Will you explain it again, please?
Certainly. Flash had discovered a hollow tree with an opening on the outside about half way up.
And on the inside of the hollow trunk of the tree, Flash had put a pair of giant handcuffs.
That's right. One of the handcuffs was locked around a huge branch
and Flash had let the other part of the handcuff hang down inside the hollow tree.
Oh, now I remember. Flash was going to try and trick the giant into reaching into the hole in the side of the tree
and up into the hollow part of the tree.
That's right. And then Flash, who was inside the hollow tree, was going to try and snap the loose end of the handcuff around the giant's wrist.
And then the giant's arm would be caught in the tree from the shoulder on up and the giant wouldn't be able to get away.
I wonder if Flash will be able to make it work.
Well, let's read now and see if he does. Here we go with Flash Gordon.
Arrega, rega, dun, dun, saskam attach. Let's set music for heroic Flash.
The giant has come out of the brush. He sees Dale standing at the foot of the tree.
Dale tells Flash to stay where he is, that she'll climb through the hole in the tree trunk and try to trick the giant into reaching for her.
Well, then Dale, hurry, then, hurry.
Dale scrambles up the side of the tree trunk. The giant's huge strides eat up the ground.
Dale, can you make it?
She scrambles through the hole into the tree. Inside the tree trunk, Flash reaches down.
All right, quick, give me your hand. One pull and Flash has Dale up beside him.
All right, now, now let's hope that he doesn't decide to climb the tree. But luck is with Flash.
Last picture top row, he sees the giant hand reach into the hollow tree and grope around, trying to grasp Dale.
First picture bottom row, Flash, dodging the huge clawing hand, throws the handcuff about the giant's wrist and snaps it shut.
The trap has been sprung. The giant pressures and tugs wildly, but is unable to wrench his arm loose.
We've got him, Dale. We've got him.
Last picture, with the giant securely locked through the heavy tree trunk, Flash has released his crewmen from the monster's cave and brings them to the tree.
Midas, seeing the huge prisoner, exclaims, hey, we'll be able to exhibit this baby for plenty of money on Earth, Flash.
And Flash answers, we didn't come here for the money, Midas.
Oh, wasn't that wonderful? Flash has planned work.
Yes, you bet it did. The giant is his prisoner now, and Flash has released all of his friends from the cave where the giant had them trapped.
But how will they ever get the giant loose from the tree and make him a prisoner?
Well, that's the problem, and we'll have to wait until next week to see what Flash does about that.
But now, look across the page.
Oh, there's Walt Disney's story, The Sword and the Rose.
And I'll read that in just a moment, but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say.
Now, here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on page seven of the first section, Walt Disney's The Sword and the Rose.
Mercy Grits for the music, please.
Very well, my lady.
It's Merry, Merry England when nighthood was in flower, music to bewitch our story hour.
Where in the early days of England when Henry was the king, Henry's impulsive sister, Mary, has fallen in love with Charles Brandon, who has been a captain in the king's guard.
Henry had wished the princess to marry the king of France, but Mary refused and had tried to run away with Charles Brandon.
The king had learned of their escape and had sent his guards after them.
Brandon and the princess were captured by the king's men and brought back to the castle.
Next morning, the king is at breakfast.
He is sent for Mary.
She enters the room in time to see King Henry sign a death warrant.
Charles Brandon is to be beheaded for high treason.
Mary exclaims, Brother Henry, you mean Charles must suffer death?
That's the usual result when the head is separated from the body.
Last picture, Top Row, she pleads.
I forced myself on Charles.
I tried to beguile him into taking me into the new world.
If you must punish someone, punish me.
Your pleading comes too late.
The death warrant is signed.
And first picture, Bottom Row, he turns on her.
Oh, shameless creature.
This fellow means more to you than an alliance between England and the power of France.
Please, my brother, spare Charles Brandon.
I'll do anything you ask.
Will you marry Louis of France?
Last picture as tears come from her eyes, Mary answers.
Yes, even that, to save Charles.
And so Mary Tudor barters her happiness for the life of the man she loves.
Well, I think Henry is cruel to make Mary give up Charles Brandon, the man she loves.
I think he is too.
Do you think she really will marry the King of France so that Charles will live?
That's the way it looks.
And Charles Brandon and the princess never will be married?
Well, maybe something can happen to change, almost.
Why?
Maybe we'll find out more about that next week.
But now let's turn over to the very last page of the first section of the book.
And here's Dick's adventure.
Oh, yes, and you remember Dick is in the early days of America and California.
Yes, and word had swept the country that gold had been discovered at a place called Sutter's Mill.
And everybody left their work and their homes and their stores and rushed out to dig for gold, hoping they'd all get rich.
And Dick and his friend, Editor Campbell, had gone along and had met up with John Sutter himself.
And John Sutter had told them how he had discovered the gold.
Yes, and how his land is now covered with gold seekers.
But he didn't want anyone to know the gold was there because he said everybody would leave the work they were doing.
And that's just exactly what happened.
I wonder what happens next.
Well, let's read now and find out.
Here we go with Dick's adventures.
Say the magic words with me.
Riggity-pock-a-zack-a-zick.
Let's have music for adventurous Dick.
After telling his story of the discovery of gold, Sutter leads Dick and Campbell to the top of the hill.
He points to the valley below.
Look, these fortune hunters, I have ruined me.
Every man who used to work for me has run off to look for gold.
Dick sees what he means.
For life, he has to find the gold.
And he does.
And he does.
And he does.
And he does.
And he does.
And he does.
And he does.
And he does.
Dick sees what he means.
For last picture, top row, as far as the eye can see, the land stretches away.
Idle acres with grain withering on the stalk in the sun.
And no one to take care of it.
While in the riverbeds below, crowds of men are feverishly panning for a yellow metal that can mean a fortune.
First picture, second row, Sutter mounts a horse.
I'm driving those fools off my property.
Guessing that Sutter hasn't got a chance against the horde of gold seekers, Dick and Kemble chase after him.
Last picture, second row, from afar, they see Sutter order the men off the property.
And then they see the gold diggers turn on Sutter and begin to beat him up.
Now go to Russia, will you?
Who do you think you are?
And in a moment, Sutter is left lying on the ground helpless.
First picture, bottom row, Dick and Kemble pick him up.
Dick thinks what a pitiful situation this is.
John Augustus Sutter, once the most powerful landowner in all California, is now a battered old man, ruined by the gold which his own land first yielded.
Last picture, they return Sutter to his home and leave him in the hands of his faithful Indian servants.
But they don't notice a shadowy figure stealing off with their horses.
Oh, isn't that cruel the way those people beat up on Mr. Sutter?
Yes, it was. After all, it was his land that the gold seekers had overrun.
And he had a horse, too.
And he had a right to chase them off, but they didn't obey the law.
No, they didn't.
Oh, look, I wonder who that man is who's stealing their horses.
I don't know. Maybe we'll find out more about this next week.
But now look below, Dick's Adventures. There's Rusty Riley.
Oh, yes. And you remember Tex and Rusty have finally gotten away from those two old crooks.
And they've started to try to stop them from bringing that wonderful racehorse Silver Lad to the Milestone Farm.
Yes, and it's a good thing that they're nearing home, because if the horse doesn't get to the Lexington racetrack today,
Mr. Miles will lose out on the deal he's made to sell horses to the rich South Americans.
That's right, because then the man will buy the horses from Velvet Kane,
and then Mr. Miles might lose his farm because Mr. Miles needs the money.
Yes, he does. Well, let's see if Tex gets there in time.
Here we go with Rusty Riley.
Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty.
At the Lexington Horse Show, the South American, Señor Caldarez, has waited for some time for Silver Lad to appear.
Finally, he turns to Mr. Miles and says,
I am most sorry, Mr. Miles, but I am afraid I must award my contract to Mr. Kane. I have seen nothing of your stallion, Silver Lad.
Velvet Kane, who is staying close to Señor Caldarez, smiles smugly.
Well, you know why, Señor Caldarez, because no such horse exists.
Now, if you'd listen to me in the first place, Mr. Miles shakes his head.
I cannot explain the delay, sir. Some sort of accident must have happened.
However, I thank you for your patience, and I won't ask you to wait any longer.
Velvet Kane says, all right, if you just step this way, Señor, I have the agreement all prepared.
Just then, last picture top row, the stable boy Jimmy is going to be the first to appear.
Hey, boss, boss, he's here. Tex just drove in with a van.
Wait, Mr. Caldarez, just a moment.
Yes, Mr. Miles.
Then first picture bottom row, Tex walks in. Mr. Miles exclaims, Tex, I was never happier to see anyone.
Tell me quickly, have you got Silver Lad?
I sure have, boss, but no thanks to this maverick Kane.
Two of his hired alhutes tried to stop us from getting here.
Kane looks around nervously. Caldarez exclaims, eh, what's this?
Oh, uh, Señor Caldarez, this is my trainer, Tex Purdy. He has Silver Lad in our van.
Caldarez looks scornfully at Velvet Kane.
I am most happy that you arrive in time, Mr. Tex.
Apparently, I was about to close a deal with a crook.
Well, boss, I got Silver Lad and the filly in the van,
but I've also got a young colt you'll be mighty glad to have at Milestone Farm.
Hmm, a colt? What colt, Tex, from where?
You didn't mention a colt. You follow me.
And Tex leads Mr. Miles outside of the barn.
He points to Rusty, last picture.
There he is. What do you say to that?
Rusty! Mr. Miles, jeepers, am I glad to see you.
Oh, hooray, Tex got back in time.
Yes, and now Señor Caldarez has learned that Velvet Kane is a big crook.
Yes, and now Señor Caldarez is going to buy horses for Mr. Miles,
and Mr. Miles will make lots of money and his farm will be saved.
Yes, and isn't Mr. Miles surprised to see Rusty?
And happy, too. Oh, I'm glad Rusty's back at Milestone Farm again,
because after being away so long, because they're going to be back in time.
You bet. Next week maybe we'll begin a new story with Tex and Rusty.
I'll be anxious to read that.
Yes, well now it's time to pick up the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly.
Yes, and there's Dagwood and Blondie.
I wonder what funny thing happens to Dagwood today.
Well, let's read now and find out.
Here we go on the first page of the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly
with Dagwood and Blondie.
Prima food, am a farmer, and I'm a farmer.
Dagwood and Blondie. Prima food, am a farm, zim-zam-zombie.
Conjuring music for Dagwood and Blondie.
Dagwood is at an auction today.
Sold to the man in the bow tie for six dollars.
And out comes Dagwood carrying a moose head mounted on a plaque.
Boy, oh boy, a moose head.
This will be wonderful to hang hats on at the office.
And a half hour later, Dagwood is hanging the moose head up in his office.
His boss, Mr. Jithers, comes in, takes one look, and...
Get that flea-bitten thing out of this office in ten seconds or I'll fire you.
Well, you don't have to yell.
First picture, second row, Dagwood comes home with the moose head.
Oh boy, I'm so happy.
Blondie loves animals.
She'll be so delighted when she sees it hanging in our living room.
And a few minutes later, Dagwood is hanging the moose head up in the living room.
Blondie walks in, takes one look, and...
Get it out of this house.
I've never heard people scream so.
And last picture, second row.
Dagwood is out in the alley. He sees the hobo.
Oh, hey, how would you like a nice, friendly moose head?
Uh, no, thanks.
It'll look lovely in your home.
Uh, no. It would never fit under a boxcar.
First picture, third row, Dagwood is giving the moose head to his neighbor Herb Woodley.
That's for you, Herb, to make our friendship even greater.
Oh, Dagwood, it's beautiful. Thank you.
And Dagwood walks back to his house without the moose head.
Ha ha, that's one good thing about Herb.
You can get rid of anything on him.
Last picture, third row.
Herb brings the moose head into the kitchen, where his wife Tootsie is washing the dishes.
Hey, Tootsie, look what Dagwood gave me to hang over our mantelpiece.
Ah!
And first picture, bottom row, Tootsie is upstairs packing a grip.
I'm leaving you, Herbert, I'm leaving you. You're absolutely impossible.
Herb dashes down the stairs, out the door, across the lawn, finds Dagwood standing on the porch.
You ruined my home with this thing, and now I'm going to give it back in my own way.
No, Herb, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And last picture, Dagwood comes into the house, the moose head stuffed over his head, and he yells,
Brandy, Brandy, get my lawyer on the phone. I'm suing Herb Woodley.
Oh, look at Dagwood. Doesn't he look funny with that moose head over his head?
That's some sight, a man's body and the head of a moose.
Poor Dagwood, looks like he'll never get rid of that moose head.
No, I guess he better go back up to the North Woods and give it to a lady moose.
How's that, Sully?
Well, it might work.
I doubt it.
Yes, so do I. Well, now that's all the time I have, but before I go,
here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information.
Well, honey and all you boys and girls, I gotta go now.
All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week.
Okay, that's a date, and a date with all you boys and girls.
Be sure to meet me with our little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly.
For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.
I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys.
Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week.
See you, your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.
See you, your friend, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.