Crime and Peter Chambers.
Created by Henry Kane, transcribed and starring Dane Clark.
A good investigator, duly licensed and duly sworn, Peter Chambers.
You're a private eye.
That's your business.
Anything else?
That's for laughs.
Laughs?
This one figures for more laughs than a bull session at a bachelor dinner.
You're being retained to play nursemaid to three of the most beautiful girls in the world.
And for that, you're being paid.
The lady at your office is Miss Matilda Craig, battle axe type and built like a fire hydrant.
Your fee then is $500.
Yes, Miss Craig.
And you understand that I represent Mr. Byron Thorndyke.
Yes, Miss Craig.
And you understand that Mr. Thorndyke is the Mr. Thorndyke, Byron Thorndyke Model Agency.
Yes, Miss Craig.
And you know why you're being retained.
Well, of course, Miss Craig.
Then let's go over it again.
Again, Miss Craig?
Young man.
My dear young man.
Yes, Miss Craig.
Can't you...
Isn't it possible?
Won't you please call me Matilda?
With all my heart, Matilda.
There now, that's much better.
So much less businesslike, less formal.
Well then, let's get on.
All right, here goes.
Every big city and most every big country has been running a beauty contest.
And all of them competed in an elimination contest in Los Angeles and three were chosen.
Correct.
Miss Madrid, Miss Paris and Miss Brooklyn.
And these three are now here in New York for the finals tomorrow.
And one of the three is to be crowned Miss Universe.
Prize, $50,000 in cash and a Hollywood contract.
And Byron Thorndyke is to be sole judge.
And I am here as chaperone for the young ladies.
Mr. Thorndyke has taken a lovely house on Sutton Place with a lovely garden and a lovely
view.
Oh, the East River in the summertime.
Yeah.
The vast bridges.
Yes, Miss.
Their lights strung across the water.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, all right, all right.
Something, Mr. Chambers?
Matilda, let's get back to cases.
Yes, yes, of course.
Now, you're to be there tonight at midnight.
Because the Money Transport Company is going to deliver 50,000 cash bucks to Thorndyke
at a quarter to 12.
And you're to serve as bodyguard.
You will come armed, of course.
Oh, of course, Miss Matilda.
And you will stay with Mr. Thorndyke until tomorrow afternoon.
And then you will remain with whatever young lady wins the prize until the money is safely
deposited in a bank.
Miss Madrid, a brunette, is Lola Granada.
Uh-huh.
Miss Paris, a redhead, is Louise Dupree.
Uh-huh.
And Miss Brooklyn, a blonde, is Joan Hellam.
Yikes.
Now, Mr. Chambers, I want you to remember...
It's the longest day of your life, as what day wouldn't be when at the end of the rainbow
you're scheduled to meet, you hope, uh, Miss Madrid, Miss Paris, and Miss Brooklyn.
Anyway, it comes midnight and you're all dolled up in your summer finery, if one will forgive
the slight bulge for gun and holster.
And you're at the house on Sutton Place and you've got your finger on the buzzer.
Well, Peter Chambers, boy detective, I was told you'd be due here, so I opened the door
for you myself.
So what are you staked out here for, Louie, assistant judge in a beauty contest?
I don't think that contest's coming off, Pete.
It's been canceled on account of the unexpected advent of a corpse.
Detective Lieutenant Louie Parker, homicide, New York City police, straight cop and good
friend.
He leads you through a corridor that opens upon a massive living room and there, in a
chair with his back to the entrance, Byron Thorndyke, very dead, a knife crammed between
his shoulder blades.
Parker's men are doing their jobs, photo guys, fingerprint guys, the works.
Real nice, huh?
Byron Thorndyke with a knife in his back.
When'd you get the call, Louie?
About 10 minutes ago.
Who found him?
The chaperone, that Matilda Cragg.
Where's she?
Right now, in a hospital.
Oh, wait a minute, Pete, my boys are finished here.
Yes, you must go get the body out too.
Okay, and I'll be downtown shortly.
All right, Petey, where were we?
Matilda Cragg.
Yeah.
Well, let me set you up on the details first.
The money arrived a little early, about 25 to 12.
That's the motive for the murder, huh?
No, sir, it ain't.
That dough was piled up on the table here when we found him.
Nice as you please.
Well, if not money, then why do you think...
Well, search me.
Anyway, about a quarter to 12, we get the call downtown reporting this thing.
Call from whom?
Matilda Cragg.
We do it with the siren blasting all the way and we're here in five minutes.
We find the door locked, so we jimmy our way in and there he is, just like you saw him.
He's dead, he's back to the entrance way and Matilda, keeled over by the phone.
Slugged?
No, no, fainted.
Turned out to be a heart attack, as a matter of fact.
Anyway, we bring her too and she straightens us out on some of the facts and then we pile
her up to the hospital where she is now, in communicado.
And what were these facts?
Very meager.
Miss Cragg decides to come down to see if Thorndyke needs anything before she retires
for the night, you see.
She comes in here, she finds him, just like you saw him.
She phones in to the cops, she keels over, that's the deal, period.
Doe was delivered at twenty-five to twelve.
By the way, where is the doe?
I sent it downtown to our property clerk, safekeeping.
Okay, Doe delivered twenty-five to two, she finds him at a quarter to two, which means
he was killed within that ten minute period, right?
Right.
Those girls been in the house all that time?
Yeah, each in her respective room.
So one of them's your murderer?
Or Matilda Cragg.
Well, one of the four of them.
You talk to the dames upstairs?
Yeah, it's nothing.
Each one clams, each one denies, each one professes.
No motive.
Where do they live, dresses and stuff?
Yeah, that's a thing.
One lives in Madrid, one in Paris, and the one from Brooklyn was living in Hollywood
when Thorndyke discovered her.
What have you told them?
How much do they know?
Well, they know nothing except that the guy was stabbed to death.
That's all the information they're going to get until I'm ready to question.
Meantime, they all stay put, like they are, and keep denying, like they're doing.
Think I can see them?
You think I can stop you?
Upstairs, Park introduces you to the cast of suspects.
And a beautiful cast it is.
First is Miss Brooklyn.
Blonde as a Viking, blue-eyed and ruby lipped.
My name is Joan Hallam and I don't know nothing from nothing.
I don't know who killed him or why he was killed.
And I would consider it a special favor if you two baboons got out of here and left me
alone.
Next, you go calling on Miss Madrid.
Raven hair pulled to a bun in the back and black eyes with more flash than a swindler
on the make in Monte Carlo.
I am Lola Granada.
I am shocked and all broken inside.
I have nothing, nothing to say.
I wish to be alone.
Please, please.
Charming.
And then Miss Paris.
Red hair, green eyes and a figure like the figure eight, but oh, so much more attractive.
I am Louise Dupré.
Oh, it is Peter, Peter.
Chambre, n'est-ce pas?
Oh, this is so great a surprise.
I am charmed.
It is my delight.
Double charming.
You met her last year in Paris when she was dancing in the Folies Begier.
You just didn't connect the name.
You were there on a case and this had all the makings of a great romance when, as luck
would have it, the case was over and you were yanked back to the States.
Oh, tiens, my handsome Peter.
Mon cher, this is so true and delight, so unexpected.
Hey, what the devil is going on here?
We are old friends, my dear.
Lieutenant.
Oui, commissioners.
Yes, you know who this is?
This is Peter Chambre, the one true great detective of all the United States.
Louise, he must have told you that himself.
Oh yes, he did.
The one Peter Chambre, the great detective.
All right, all right, all right.
Oh, now look, my one true great detective of all the United States.
Oh, no, no, you don't understand.
You see, I was in Paris last year.
Go ahead.
The one great detective of all the...
Louis, I'm trying to explain here.
I will talk to him.
I will talk to him alone.
I do not trust another.
I am in a strange country.
I will talk to him, but not here.
Outside in the rear is a garden by the ocean, by the beautiful East River Ocean.
There I will talk to him.
Well, what have you got to lose, Lieutenant?
Commissioners, I will talk to him, to see Peter Chambre.
Okay, okay, go talk to him.
And so, outside in the garden with a cool breeze coming over the East River Ocean, she puts
her arms around you and kisses you.
But from the way she kisses you, you know she's worried.
Well, you can ask her, she says it.
Oh, I am so worried, Peter.
I am very much distressed.
You tell me, honey.
You tell the great detective of all the United States.
My knife, it is missing.
Uh-oh, what's with the knife?
It is in my family, an heirloom.
We have had it many years, but it is gone.
Since when?
I do not know.
I showed it to the girls when we came here two days ago.
Then I put it in my bureau drawer.
Then I did not look again.
Until the police came and told us about, about poor Byron.
They told us he was, oh, how you say it, stuck, stooped.
No, stuck, stuck, stuck.
Ah, stuck.
Then quickly I look.
My knife, she's not there.
What did you tell the police?
I was afraid I am in a strange country.
They will think that perhaps I...
Look, they're going to find out sooner or later.
So, if they find, then I will speak.
Perhaps they do not find, then I have no need to speak.
Louise, you did not kill him, my dear.
Oh, no, not me.
Peter, you will protect me.
You will protect poor little Louise.
You will not be sorry.
Louise will appreciate so...
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
You are a little premature in the appreciation department.
Easy.
True.
You are correct.
You have any ideas on Byron Thorndyke?
Oh, he was a bad man.
Well, that's an idea.
Where did you get that from?
From Miss Brooklyn.
Joan Allen.
You mean she didn't like him?
She loved him.
So, that makes him a bad man?
It is so.
I am the prettiest.
I know I am going to win.
I tell this to Joan.
She agrees, but she does not agree.
Slowly, honey, slowly.
You're committing mayhem on your English.
She agrees, and she does not agree.
Well, how do you work that one out?
She agrees that I am the prettiest,
but she does not agree that I will win.
She tells me that she loves Byron
and that Byron loves her, and it is all how you say,
in the bag, that she will win.
Oh, a fix, huh?
Even in a beauty contest.
Fix?
What is this fix?
You skip it, honey.
Huh?
Okay, I skip.
So, that is how I know he is a bad man?
Now, look, this Joan Hallam, she's told the cops
that she lives in Hollywood.
Do you know anything about that?
Well, once when we are together in Los Angeles,
she tells me of a little room she has in Brooklyn.
She says never to tell anyone because it is so poor and small.
She says she still keeps it because it is so inexpensive,
even though she lives in Hollywood,
just in case she has to come back east.
She was having so much wine that night.
I do not think she even remembers that she told me.
Does she give you the address?
Oui.
Uh, 26...
262 Oight Street.
Oight Street?
Oight Street.
Oh, you mean Hoyt Street.
That's what I said.
Hoyt Street.
Yeah, that's what you said.
Ground floor back.
Is in Brooklyn, no?
Is in Brooklyn, yes.
So now, Peter, I have told you all because I am so afraid.
You must help me and then when it is all over,
believe me, Louise will not forget.
Louise will remember.
Regretfully, you leave Louise,
but you hope there will be a better moment
when all her worries are dissipated.
You accompany Parker to the Belmore Hospital
where you sit outside in the White Wall corridor
while he interviews Matilda Craig.
You sit for a long time until finally he comes out.
Well, I think we can eliminate her.
Matilda, why?
Because she is a woman.
She is a woman.
I think we can eliminate her.
Matilda, why?
My boys have checked her thoroughly.
She has known Thorndyke a long time,
sort of a secretary in this agency,
and he has been very good to her.
She has got a bad heart.
He has paid for doctors, treatments, past ten years.
At least she could straighten you out on his background.
She is no help there.
He kept his personal life to himself.
What about those dames out at his house?
She have any ideas as to who might have stuck
that thing into her boss?
That's why I came out for you.
She heard mention of a threat.
By whom?
Lola Granada.
Well, how did it happen?
Come on in and listen, softly now.
Miss Craig.
Yes, yes, lieutenant.
Hi, sweetie.
Oh, Mr. Chambers.
Miss Craig, tell us about that argument now,
will you please?
You feel strong enough?
Oh, yes, yes, I do.
It was two days ago.
Miss Hallam was in Miss Granada's room.
The door was open and I was dusting outside
and I could hear Miss Hallam was speaking.
Miss Hallam was saying...
Look, Lola, I don't want to tread on anybody's toes.
I'm telling you the truth, so help me.
I don't care if you're jealous or you're not jealous.
I'm telling you the truth.
I'm supposed to win this contest hands down.
Byron Thorndyke told me he was stuck on me.
Told me he was in love with me.
Then he was lying.
Maybe yes, maybe no.
Maybe yes, my dear Joan.
Neither you or Louise will win.
Only I.
There is $50,000 to be paid
and he will keep it in the family.
He will pay it to his wife.
Wife?
Yes, I am his wife.
We are married in Los Angeles.
Why, the... I don't believe it.
No? Then look at this.
A marriage certificate.
Do you see, Joan?
Yes, I see.
And I don't want you playing around with my man.
Is that clear?
Or he with you?
And I have told him that.
I have told him if it continues, I will kill him.
I am not accustomed to this and I will not have it.
And now that I have told you, please to get out of here.
Please get out.
Quickly!
Okay, okay, don't let that Latin temper of yours get the best of you.
I've got a temper of my own, you know.
Byron Thorndyke.
That dirty, miserable dog.
And... and that was what I heard.
I didn't mention it.
Not to anyone.
I'm not one to gossip.
But now, in these circumstances...
All right, Miss Craig, all right. Easy, huh?
Put your head back on the pillow.
Nurse.
It's the middle of the night now.
Parker's gone down to headquarters for a workout with his laboratory men
and you're dying to go to sleep, but you've got one more little chore to do.
26262 Hoyt Street turns out to be a ramshackle brownstone with ash cans on the sidewalk.
Ground floor back is a flimsy door that has no resistance to your gentle administrations.
Inside there's lots of accumulated dust, but there's also signs of a recent entry,
like a newspaper with yesterday's date.
You give the joint a quick going over, which isn't much of a job,
and then out of an old musty trunk, you come up with something which isn't musty at all.
That does it for you when you get out of there.
Next afternoon, you're at the house on Sutton Place.
Parker's got the ladies in Lola Granada's room and he's jabbing left hooks.
But you know Parker, he's holding back that haymaker.
Possibly because he's got no haymaker to throw, but he's wearing them down, the three of them.
Now you, Miss Paris, Louise Dupre, that knife belongs to you, no question.
That's a French knife made in France, one of them antique deals.
But, commissionneur...
It's lieutenant.
Ah, certément. But it does not mean I have used the knife to kiss.
The only fingerprints on it are yours, lady.
Well, it belongs to her. Whose fingerprints should be on it?
Look, who invited you here?
You did, lieutenant. We're sort of working hand in glove on this thing.
Glove. Now there's a pretty word.
Whoever stuck that steel into him probably did use gloves.
These ladies equipped with gloves?
Yeah, all of them.
So a gloved hand would keep the culprit's fingerprints off and keep Miss Dupre's fingerprints on.
Okay. Well, let's get to you, Miss Madrid.
Lola Granada with the Latin temper.
Brooklyn here's been keeping her trap closed, but you, Miss Granada, were heard to threaten Thorndyke in her presence.
Any comment, Miss Granada?
I did not kill him.
That you said too many times. Any other comment?
Only once again I wish to report the loss of my marriage certificate. It was stolen.
Marriage? Shmarriage? We're working on a murder case.
It might be pertinent, lieutenant.
Are you still here? Why don't...
Pertinent how?
Because it was stolen by the murderer.
Ah. And I suppose you know who that is too.
Of course I do. Here, let me point a finger.
Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
And it comes out... you.
Joan Hallam?
Me?
You, Miss Joan Hallam. You stole that marriage certificate.
I did not.
Oh, you deny it, huh?
I certainly do.
All right, I'll show you the missing marriage certificate. See, I'll dig it out of my pocket.
Take a look.
What about it?
Guess where I found it.
Where? Where did you find it?
26262 Hoyt Street, ground floor back.
But how? How could you?
Honey, you were put on a spot.
What are you talking about?
You've been put on a spot by Thorndyke himself.
The lieutenant's been holding on to you, sweetie.
He couldn't.
Thorndyke scribbled your name.
He couldn't.
He scribbled your name when he saw you come in with a knife in your hand.
He couldn't, he couldn't. His back was turned. He was seated with his back to the...
Oh.
And that, my dear lieutenant, is what is known as cooking your own goose.
Nobody knew that he had his back to the door, Miss Hallam, except Miss Craig, the police, and the murderer.
It's talking time, Miss Hallam.
Okay, okay, I killed him.
That's one rat that deserved it.
I had a contract waiting for me in Hollywood, but he talked me into this.
Told me it was a sure thing that I'd win this contest.
Told me he loved me.
Anything to get this thing rolling for him.
Look at all the publicity it gave him. All the business and for free.
Because he figured to keep that 50 G's in his own family.
That phony rat was going to fix it so his own wife Lola would win that contest.
When did you make up your mind to kill him, Miss Hallam?
When I caught him in the final lie.
And what was that?
I talked to him yesterday morning.
I told him what Lola had told me, that they were married.
Even then he brazened it.
Told me he wasn't married to Lola.
When I threw him the bid about the marriage certificate, he told me that that was a phony.
So I hooked it.
I had a lawyer call LA and check it.
It was the McCoy.
Well, that was it.
I sneaked Louise's knife from a drawer and I waited for my chance.
And that was that.
Parker cleans up the loose ends and your case is closed.
And that evening, Louise Dupre descends upon you.
And with a cool breeze wafting over from the East River Ocean and a couple of high balls clinking ice,
you have a declaration from the beautiful Miss Paris.
Ah, the true great detective of all the United States.
In appreciation, Louise bestows a kiss like so.
Oh, Louise.
And in appreciation of your appreciation, the true great detective of all the United States bestows a return kiss like so.
Ah, even at home, Paris was never like this.
And there you've had Crime and Peter Chambers.
Dane Clark starred as Peter Chambers.
Crime and Peter Chambers transcribed was created and written by Henry Kane.
Others in the cast were Bill Zuckert, heard as Lieutenant Parker, Marion Carr as Miss Craig, and Anita Anton as Louise Dupre.
It was directed by Fred Way.
This is Fred Collins inviting you to tune in next week same time, same station for Dane Clark in Crime and Peter Chambers.
This is Roger Tuttle inviting you on a 60-second trip into the future.
Not way in the future, but just as far ahead as this September.
September 14th, to be exact.
And that's the day that Lux Radio Theater returns to the air, and you'll enjoy it right here on NBC.
Lux Radio Theater has been radio's most popular dramatic show for many years, and no wonder.
It brings you an entertainment combination that can't be equaled.
You'll hear the brightest stars in Hollywood in one-hour adaptations of the greatest motion pictures of all time.
The first Lux Radio Theater presentation, September 14th, is the powerful and moving story Wuthering Heights starring Merle Oberon.