The story of Dr. Kildare.
Whatsoever house I enter,
there will I go for the benefit of the sick. And whatsoever things I see or hear concerning the life of men, I will keep silence thereon,
counting such things to be held as sacred trust. I will exercise my art solely for the cure.
The story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayres and Lionel Barrymore.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer brought you those famous motion pictures.
Now this exciting, heartwarming series is heard on radio.
In just a moment, the story of Dr. Kildare. But first, your announcer.
Now the story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayres as Dr. Kildare and Lionel Barrymore as Dr. Gillespie.
I beg your pardon, Dr. Gillespie. Did you say Parker wasn't in your office?
Not only did I say she isn't in my office, Diana, but I've dialed my office three times in the last fifteen minutes and still no answer.
Three times? That's peculiar.
No more peculiar than Parker is. But find her for me, will you?
And tell her to bring me Mrs. Taylor's case history up to the biochem lab.
Well, I'll certainly try, Dr. Gillespie, just as soon as I can get off the reception desk.
Good, good. And ten minutes ago wasn't too soon.
Well, Bessie, have you seen Parker recently?
Why, yes, Miss Berna. She just left the diet kitchen a minute ago.
Oh, thanks, dear.
You get out of here, you go on now.
Yes, Parker, Parker, for goodness sake.
Don't stand there, Diana. Help me get this cat out of the building.
Parker, will you skip the cat and get into the office so Dr. Gillespie can have Mrs. Taylor's case history up in the biochem lab before he has to be scraped off the ceiling?
As if I had anything to do with a stray cat being in here.
You can imagine, you cat, you. Don't you dare go into Dr. Gillespie's office.
Come here, you fugitive from the back alley. Did you hear me? I said come here.
If you don't get off that desk, I'll...
By the great horned spoon, Parker, how long you think you're going to keep me waiting for...
Parker, one in ton.
It's a cat, Dr. Gillespie.
Well, well, well, a cat. A friend or just one of your relatives?
Oh.
I'm sorry, Parker.
What?
Well, naturally, I'm sorry. I understand your interest in animals.
Because your next job, you'll probably be lucky if you're working for a veterinary.
Now you see here, Dr. Gillespie, I'm not...
Hello, Jimmy. Hello.
Ah, how about coming over to Sullivan's for a bottle lunch?
Dr. Kildare, would you please tell this old...
Well, now, doctor, a new patient?
Now, wait a minute, Jimmy. Wait a minute.
There you are, Dr. Gillespie. I'm glad I found you at last.
Oh, no.
What's the matter, Dr. Carew? You're pale. Don't you like cats?
I cannot abide cats. They make my skin crawl.
And until this cat is out of here, we'd better go over to my office.
You come along, too, Dr. Gillespie.
I'm busy. I'm making a new prognosis on Mrs. Taylor in 504.
Dr. Gillespie, this is...
I guess it's not the reason why, or just to do and cure.
Come on, Dr. G. Over to Dr. Carew's office.
Now, gentlemen, have you ever heard of Oliver M. W. Van Meter?
Oliver M. W. Van Meter?
Well, who hasn't heard of him in New York? Just oozing money.
Not only oozes money, Oliver oozes influence.
Oh, Oliver, eh?
Well, yes, yes. We met at a dinner party last night.
But we spent almost an hour together alone talking confidentially about Mr. Van Meter's health.
Not only money and influence, but health, too. There's a lucky man.
Gentlemen, it's a very, very strange case. On my insistence, and upon my professional advice, mind you, he's coming to Blair Hospital.
Gentlemen, that is what I want to talk to you about.
Well?
Mr. Van Meter suffers from a most peculiar melody, most peculiar.
Every Monday, every Monday of the year, his eyes start to water.
Then his nose starts running. And by Tuesday, he has a horrible case of asthma.
Well, what's so strange about that? Probably an allergic reaction to something.
Allergic reaction? Have you ever heard of an allergy that it was able to read the calendar so that it could get started every Monday?
Well...
Well, just a minute, Karoo. What happens after Tuesday?
Ah, there is the strangest part. By Wednesday, the asthmatic conditions start subsiding.
By Thursday, Mr. Van Meter is completely well again. And then Monday, each and every Monday, the cycle starts all over.
It's unusual, all right, but still probably an allergic upset.
Well, I've practiced medicine too long to make snap judgments, Jimmy, especially before I've seen the patient.
I stand corrected, Doctor.
And I'll bet you the six-course lunch at Sullivan's with an extra plate of rice pudding that no allergy recurs every Monday and then fades away.
You just made a bet, Dr. Gillespie, with an extra rice pudding and an extra pitcher of cream.
When does Mr. Van Meter check in, Dr. Karoo?
He's coming this Sunday. So he'll be here for observation when the malady starts developing Monday.
Oh, Jimmy, not this weekend again.
But, Nian, I just told you, I... you know, I made this bet with Dr. Gillespie.
And I bet you're breaking our date just because you want to meet the great Oliver M. W. Van Meter.
You ought to know by this time, sweetie, there's no one I'd rather be with than you.
Hmm, here comes Parker. What's that cheese toting?
What in the world are you doing with that, Parker?
Huh? That? Oh, you must mean this.
Let me see that a minute. Ah, evaporated milk for babies formula.
Parker, exactly what have you been doing with your spare time?
Well, maybe if you had to put up with Dr. Gillespie, you'd need evaporated milk, too.
Oh, is that something new? Evaporated milk for babies to cure ulcers and encase lots at that?
Oh, oh, oh, doctor, of course not. I use it on my face for these, these crow's feet.
Oh, what kind of a crow have you got that eats with his feet?
Oh, you know, sometimes I wish I worked with you instead of that old bear I take.
Oh, poor Parker. She's such a wonderful person, that part. What she has to put up with.
Oh, you're a wonderful person, too, Miss Lerner. And you have to put up with me.
Jimmy, you better keep your mind on Mr. Van Meter.
Oh, what a present, I think.
Now, if there is anything at all you want, Mr. Van Meter, just press that little call bell right over your head,
and you will get some of the service for which Blair Hospital is so justly famous.
Thanks, but I want you can't get in the hospital.
I beg your pardon?
Look at this item here.
Oh, I don't recall seeing that when I read the paper this morning.
Well, what paper do you read?
You mean there's a difference?
Certainly there's a difference.
Yes, I, I see. Oh, Dr. Gillespie, Dr. Kildare, do come in and meet Mr. Van Meter, Oliver M.W. Van Meter.
Delighted, Mr. Van Meter.
Now, Dr. Kildare and I would like to start by getting a case history, Mr. Van Meter.
I told Carew the entire case history the other night, and I...
Oh dear.
In the lab, every one and not one of them is positive.
Well, that should be pretty solid evidence that it isn't analogy then, shouldn't it?
No, unfortunately not, because when I made the nasal smear for eosinophiles, it showed Van Meter's definitely allergic to something.
Some unusual thing we just don't know about and can't find.
Oh, this is dreadful. Dr. Gillespie, can't you suggest something?
Yes.
Give him a box of face tissues for his sneezes and send him home.
No.
Dr. Kildare, isn't there something you can do?
There is, but I'm afraid you're not going to like it, Dr. Carew.
I'm not?
It seems that whatever Mr. Van Meter is allergic to is some substance we haven't got in our lab.
Something the medical profession probably doesn't even know about.
Such is what, Jimmy.
I don't know. I'm starting to think it's something here in New York, perhaps something in the air of the city.
You mean there's no possibility of finding it?
None that I know of. So, in all fairness to the patient, and since...
Since... Who in the Board of Regents tell me to do the same thing the day after?
We return to the story of Dr. Kildare in just a moment.
Now we continue with the story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayers as Dr. Kildare.
And Lionel Barrymore as Dr. Gillespie.
Dr. Gillespie, not alone have you been my friend, but you've been my mentor. You know that.
Ah, mentor. My Aunt Bessie's bustle.
When you came into the hospital, you were wet behind the ears, and someone had to take care of you.
I appreciate that.
And you're still wet behind the ears.
In fact, what you did with Van Meter was all wet.
Oh, please, let's not start that song and dance again, arguing whether he has a bad cold or an allergy.
Oh, that's not what I mean. Why don't you face the facts?
Karoo was so tickled getting Van Meter into the hospital, he wasted no time letting the Board of Regents know all about it.
Oh. And I suppose the Board has nothing better to do now than wonder why Van Meter isn't here anymore.
Jimmy, the fact is somebody dropped a golden egg into their basket, and you're the one who's thrown it away.
Well, I'm sorry, but I did it for the good of the patient.
Yeah? But did you consult me? Did you ask whether I thought he should leave New York?
No. I suppose I should have. But with you feeling so miserable...
Oh, yeah, I feel miserable, all right. And it's from that cold Van Meter sneezed all over me.
Oh, I'll be reasonable. If he did have a cold, how could you contract it that soon? How possibly?
Well, you heard, Karoo. Van Meter has influence.
Oh, I'm sorry, but right now there's nothing so funny about that.
When I see a patient wracked with spasms and gasping for breath the way Van Meter did last Tuesday, I'm afraid I suffer as much as he does.
How do you think I feel? I must have spent 35 years in this hospital for some reason.
Breathing was so labored. Clenching his fist, twisting in agony to get his breath.
Well, we'll see. This is Tuesday, and if Van Meter does what he promised me, he'll be telegraphing from upstate and letting us know what happened.
Jimmy, I hope Karoo and the Regions don't kick you out before you pay for that lunch.
Well, Dr. G, if they do kick me out... Oh, hello, Parker.
A telegram just came for you, doctor.
Thank you, Parker.
A night letter from Oliver M. W. Van Meter.
Is he all out of face tissues already?
I'll say he isn't. Listen to this.
Quote, this is the first Monday in three years I've had no symptoms or discomfort. Congratulations, doctor, and my eternal thanks.
Well, Dr. G, it is just about lunchtime.
By the time, Mason, I can't figure it out. Van Meter's well, and I've still got my... my cold.
Parker?
Yes, doctor?
I feel so good about this telegram, I'm going to buy you a whole case of that evaporated baby milk.
Evaporated what?
Oh, nothing, doctor, nothing at all. Dr. Kildare, congratulations on your diagnosis of the Van Meter case.
You should have waited, Parker. Another telegram just came for Jimmy.
Another?
Yes. How popular can you get?
Well, maybe your grateful patient wired you a hundred thousand dollars in partial appreciation.
Yeah, give me that.
Hmm?
What a great home, and grateful patient.
Not only opens my personal telegram, it laughs in my face.
Dr. Gillespie, what does it say?
I'm laughing so much you can't read it. This is rich.
Oh, good night, doctor.
Oh, shut up.
Will you please let me read then?
Here, Jimmy.
Well, I'll be blasted. This just doesn't make sense.
Well, for heaven's sake, what doesn't make sense?
Hmm, let's see. Yes, first telegram from Van Meter was the ninth letter sent Monday, and this is a straight telegram sent today, Tuesday.
Yes, and?
Upstate at Lake George, Van Meter was all right on Monday, but 24 hours later, on Tuesday, the whole thing started up again, exactly the way it did here, except one day later.
Well.
Is there a doctor in the house? And if there is, tell him Dr. Kildare's taking me to Sullivan's for lunch.
Jimmy, my boy, I can't tell you when I've enjoyed a lunch so much.
Ah, yeah, that's good.
Go on, eat your pudding.
No, thanks.
Doctor, not only is your slip showing, your slip in diagnosis, of course, but you're not even diagnosing yourself properly.
To coin a very old phrase of yours, doctor, what the tarnation are you talking about? Do you know?
By the ever-living, uh-oh, ooh, I am glad we enjoyed our lunch before he got here.
Oh, so here you are. Well, I wish when you gentlemen leave the hospital, you'd let someone know where you're going.
Why, no.
Well, if she did, she wasn't around. And anyhow, the door of your office was locked.
Now, see here, Dr. Kildare, what's all this about a telegram from Oliver?
Yeah, yeah, here, read it for yourself.
Oh, oh. Well, Dr. Kildare, now what do you propose doing?
Well, there's one thing I can think of.
Cutting your own throat, doctor?
No, no, when I'm going to telephone Mr. Van Meter Thursday when his new attack has subsided,
and ask him to come back down here, back to Blair Hospital.
Back to... Dr. Kildare, you don't think for a moment he'd come back after you gave him the, the, well, the bums, right?
I don't know, Dr. Carew. I only know that if Mr. Van Meter can be cured, I'm going to cure him.
If I have to work till I have a long gray beard.
Now, believe me, Mr. Van Meter, I just can't tell you how much I appreciate your coming back to Blair Hospital and giving us another chance.
What have you got to appreciate?
I came back here because your Dr. Kildare is about the only person sufficiently sympathetic to be interested in my case for more than the fees.
Uh, yes, yes, yes. I, I want you to know that we're all sympathetic. Every last one of us here at Blair Hospital.
Now, don't try to butter me up, Carew.
But, but, uh, Dr. Kildare and Dr. Gillespie...
Gillespie? You send that old walrus in here again and I'll beat him over the head with this Sunday newspaper,
comic section, wrote it in the old book, where the old Anne of...
Well, I, I, I must admit that the... Oh, Dr. Kildare, come right in. Your patient's ready for you.
Mr. Van Meter can't start to tell you how sorry I am it didn't work out.
Well, I don't believe in interfering between a doctor and his patient. If there's anything you want, uh, Oliver, just let me know.
Well, you know why I came back here?
No, but I know why I wanted you to come back. I know you can be cured and I'd like to do the curing.
Well, I thought you had cured me when Monday came round of Lake George and I was fit as a fiddle.
Yeah, but why did it happen at Lake George on Tuesday?
I guess it takes the germs the whole day to come up from New York.
Maybe that's it.
And as far as Lake George goes, you can have it. Why, if I hadn't had the Globe Bulletin mailed up to me, I'd have been lost.
What? Wait a minute, you had your Sunday newspaper mailed up to you?
Yes.
Mr. Van Meter, this is the Sunday edition of the Globe Bulletin right here, is that right?
Yeah.
In New York, you read this paper every day and Sundays too.
But you never broke out except on Mondays down here.
Monday, the day following the Sunday edition.
Of course, but look here.
The only exception in three years was this past week when you received the Sunday edition of the Globe Bulletin by mail on Monday, right?
Yes, I suppose so.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I'll bet you right now you're the one man in a million who's allergic to Rhodogravure ink, the ink the Globe Bulletin uses in its Sunday supplement.
I'm allergic to newspaper?
You are.
To Rhodogravure ink?
If I'm wrong, Mr. Van Meter, I'll eat the Globe Bulletin, hop along Cassidy, comic section, and all.
In just a moment, we will return to the story of Dr. Kildare.
Now, once again, here is MK Heyman reporting from the High Commission on Music Reporting.
And now once again, the story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayres as Dr. Kildare and Lionel
Barrymore as Dr. Gillespie.
Well, this is such a happy moment, gentlemen.
It certainly is for me.
Well, goodbye again, Dr. Kildare.
Thanks to you too, Dr. Gillespie.
I take back all the things I said about you.
The only thing I want you to take back is this blasted cold you gave me.
Oh, but how can it be a cold after when you and Dr. Kildare both proved Mr. Van Meter
was allergic to the Rhodogravure ink in the Sunday edition?
Shut up!
Well, come along, Oliver.
I'll walk you down to your car.
Goodbye!
Yes, goodbye.
Well, doctor, not only do you owe me a lunch at Sullivan's, but you owe me the one you
made me pay for prematurely.
Compounded corruption, Jimmy.
How can a man eat when his head is choked up with a cold?
Tarnation.
Now, this tissue box is empty.
I thought you kept your whole horde of face tissue in the back of that double drawer in
your desk.
Oh, no, no.
There's been none there for weeks now.
I'll go right down to the pharmacy and get you some.
Now, wait a minute, Parker.
There were at least a dozen boxes.
They can't all be used up.
But, uh, but, uh...
Now, hold your horses, Parker.
I'll take a look.
Oh.
By the great horn's horn, a cat in my desk in a blanket.
Parker, come back here.
I'm knocking the office and evaporated baby milk for your crow's feet, eh, Parker?
Now, doctor, you've simply got to give me a chance.
Give you a chance to nothing.
I'm going to take this cat and be...
Well, Dr. Gillespie, now you're convinced you haven't got a cold.
Why, even a second year med student could tell what's wrong with you.
You're allergic to cat's hair.
Parker, I've wanted to do this for a long time.
But now I'm going to wrap my fingers around your throat until rigor mortis sets in.
Well, and I've wanted to do this for a long time, too.
I'm quitting.
Oh, no, you're not.
You're fired.
That's a fine way to treat me.
And after she's given you the best years of her life for shame, doctor.
The only reason I hid the old kitten in the first place was because I couldn't catch it.
Then when I heard Dr. Carew say cats made his skin crawl, I thought I'd be able to get
it out.
Well?
I don't care if Carew...
Huh?
Huh?
Carew, huh?
Well, now, maybe you got something there.
A new secret weapon.
You bet she has, Dr. G. Parker, honey, you sit down.
You're not fired.
You're just wonderful.
Oh, good-time guy.
You have just heard the story of Dr. Kildare starring Lou Ayers and Lionel Barrymore.
This program was written by Paul Franklin and directed by Joe Bigelow.
Original music was composed and conducted by Walter Schuman.
Supporting cast included Virginia Gregg, Ted Osborne, Georgia Ellis, Wilms Herbert, and
Margie List.
Dick Joy speaking.