WEBVTT

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Now, post-toasties, the heap good Cornflakes is proud to present Gunsmoke.

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Around Dodd City and in the territory on West, there's just one way to handle the killers and the spoilers,

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and that's with a U.S. Marshal and the smell of Gunsmoke.

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Gunsmoke, the story of the violence that moved west with young America,

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the story of a man who moved with it, Matt Dillon, United States Marshal.

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It's easy to do your whole tribe a big favor, Mother. Just for every big and little Indian in

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your camp, a breakfast bowl full of post-toasties. Post-toasties, you know, are the heap good Cornflakes.

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They're the best thing that's happened to corn since the Indians discovered it.

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Fresh as fresh can be. Say, post-toasties are cracklin' crisp. Sweet kernel corn flavor. Toasted.

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That's post-toasties. Post-toasties are packed with nourishment, too. A bowl of post-toasties

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with sugar and milk helps your big braves and little Indians start the day right. Get post-toasties soon.

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And now, Gunsmoke, starring William Conrad.

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You're a stranger in Dodge, Marshal.

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Well, I've only been gone a week, Sam. Hey, you got any rye left?

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Kitty over there has got the last bottle, Marshal. I'll have some tomorrow when the Santa Fe gets in.

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Good. Meanwhile, I'll see if I can talk Kitty out of a drink.

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Sure.

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I heard you were back, Matt. How are you?

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You've been saving that bottle for me, Kitty.

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You know, I never drink rye.

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Thanks.

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Well, it's the closest I've been to civilization in the week.

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You find what you're after?

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Yeah, I found him.

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Yeah, what's that stuff you're drinking?

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This? Here. Keep the bottle on the floor. It looks better.

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Let me see that.

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Professor Bone's Wonder Medicine.

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Celebrated vegetable pulmonic detergent.

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I hope it tastes better than it reads, Kitty.

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Tastes fine, Matt.

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Makes you feel fine, too.

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Essential oil of worm seed, a new and valuable curative.

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Professor Bone, Ph.D. in Pulmis.

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Professor of Practical and Medical Botany, Natural and Civil History.

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Now, that makes sense.

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Why the world you got a hold of this?

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Well, everybody's taking it, Matt.

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Oh, I forgot you were away when Professor Bone arrived.

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What? You mean he's here in Dodge?

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Sure. Came live to Thursby.

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Got a fancy drink?

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Got a fancy wagon he lectures from every day.

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Bought this time, as a matter of fact.

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You should hear him, Matt. He's great.

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Yeah, yeah. He must be.

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No, he really is.

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Well, what's in that tonic, Kitty? You're kind of misty already.

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Makes you feel great, Matt. Try some here.

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No, no, no, thanks.

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I don't need any worm seed oil.

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Liquor does me all the harm I need.

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You'll buy some once you've heard him talk.

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He's awful smart, Matt.

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Yeah, yeah, he must be. He's a professor. It says so on the bottle.

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I don't care if he's a professor or not.

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He makes wonderful tonic.

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Yeah, I can see that.

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Matt? Oh, I'm glad you're back.

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Yes, you come with me.

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Oh, hello, Doc. Sit down, won't you?

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No, you come with me. Outside.

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I want you to see the spectacle.

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Huh? Oh, well, what are you talking about, Doc?

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By this red-nosed old scarecrow, Loot Bone.

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You ought to be tired and tired of that.

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That's what. Oh, look. Look right there.

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There's a bottle of Kitty. That's yours.

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It's good, Doc. Real good.

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I'm going to smash this bottle in the street.

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No.

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And if I find you drinking any more of it, I'll paddle you.

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That's what I'll do.

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Really, Doc?

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Oh, oh, you see. You see what it does to people.

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Come on, Matt.

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Okay, Doc, I might as well find out what this is all about.

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You'll excuse us.

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Kidding?

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You, not Doc.

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I mean what I said, Kitty.

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Bully.

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Yeah, let's go, Doc.

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There's his wagon.

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And look at that crowd of fools.

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What's so wrong with it, Doc?

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I'll tell you later.

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First, I want you to hear him talk.

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The man's demented, that's what.

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There he is, Matt. Yes.

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Is he standing in the back of his wagon there?

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Yes.

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He's finished entertaining them now.

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Well, just in time for the serious part.

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen,

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I discovered the formula for this famous lecture

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while serving as personal surgeon to the King of Santo del Rio.

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Oh, that liar.

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He's the doctor.

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Yes, sir.

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Since that time,

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Professor Bones' wonder medicine has cured more than 3,000 cases of ADU,

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2,500 of chronic inflammatory rheumatism,

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2,000 of green sickness, 1,000 of mercurial diseases,

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1,500 of liver infection,

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and 6,000 of general debility.

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Matt, he ought to be home.

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It purifies, cleanses, and strengthens the fountain springs of life

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and infuses new vigor throughout the entire body.

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In fact, my friends,

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Professor Bones' wonder medicine will cure all disorders

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incident to the human race without exception,

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no matter what the age, circumstance,

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or place of residence of the afflicted patient.

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Hey, Professor, I live over in this stinkin' spring.

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Will it cure me?

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You're drunk.

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You're drunk for the day ever since I was weaned, Professor.

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I pity you, my friend.

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Professor, when I was 12, I got drunk

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and went to sleep at a hack-a-berry tree.

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I never did find out how I got down.

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Oh, don't laugh.

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Ladies and gentlemen, don't, don't laugh.

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Pity the poor man, the poor wretch.

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Whiskey has him crushed in its foul cup.

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His eyes roomy, his brains awash, his manhood's gone.

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Will you shut up?

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Whiskey, I tell you, whiskey did it.

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Anymore talk about me, I'll put a bullet in you, Professor.

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Evil man, drunken specter.

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I'm telling you, no more.

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No, no more.

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No.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

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about to appear on the wagon beside me

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is a man you all know and respect.

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One of your finest and most worthy citizens.

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A man whose very presence contributes mightily

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to the progress of your fair town.

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A man whose soul is pure, but whose body,

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ah, whose body has been the host of five separate diseases,

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any one of which would soon have been fatal.

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But now he is saved.

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Three bottles of Professor Bones' wonder medicine has done it,

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and here he is to tell you of this miraculous cure in his own words.

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Step forward, sir, and speak.

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Speak for the sake of your fellow man.

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Great heavens, Matt.

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It's Chester.

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Chester.

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Oh, Mr. Dillon.

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Get on from there.

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Why, yes, sir.

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But my dear sir, you've got to talk to the people.

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Hurry it up, Chester.

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Who are you, sir? Where are you going now?

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No, come back here, you. Come back.

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Just go on with your lecture, Professor. Never mind about him.

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You sure picked the wrong fine citizen, Professor.

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Hey, Professor.

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Yes, what?

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Is your stump of yours will cure anything?

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Anything, my friend.

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Every disorder known to the medical faculty.

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Well, my old man is 80, and he's got a beam stuck in his bone.

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Now shut up, all of you. It's for true.

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How about it, Professor, will it?

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I've come to see your father, sir.

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I'll visit him as soon as I'm able to pass a few bottles down among the good people gathered here.

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Oh, thank you.

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Oh, Mr. Dillon. Doc.

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Come on, let's get out of here.

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I'll take the chest of all people.

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I suppose he's got you all doped up with that stuff too, Chester.

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Oh, it makes you feel great, Doc.

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Is that why you were up there?

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No, sir. I got a deal with the professor.

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He pays me $2.50 a day and gives me all the medicine I can drink.

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Free.

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It's idiots like you that made it possible, such quackery, Chester.

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No, here, Doc, I'm not an idiot.

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You've been acting like one, but that's not what's important.

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Now, I've analyzed some of Bone's so-called medicine.

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It's got opium in it, for one thing.

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What, do you think it's dangerous?

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Of course it is. People can get in the habit,

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and what's worth it if something is wrong with them and they're taking the stuff,

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they wouldn't find out until it's too late.

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You've got to stop this business, Matt.

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Yeah, I suppose you're right, Doc.

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Either you stop him or...

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or by heaven, I'll shoot him.

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Now, I'm serious, Matt.

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All right, Doc, all right. I'll talk to him a little later.

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In the meantime, you stay away from him, Chester.

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Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Mr. Dillon.

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I didn't know.

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Let this gentleman and his friends abroad

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cause his dropsy and gout,

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unhappy wives, empty lodgers, naked children,

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lost cows, leaky roofs...

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That's enough, Professor.

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...bloody, bloody noses, broken shins,

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flat purses and bad reputations.

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I said that's enough of that, Professor.

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Now, get out of here before I break a bottle of good whiskey over your head.

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You, you are a destroyer of men, agent of the devil.

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Oh, shut up. Nobody's going to preach against liquor in my place.

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I'll fix you for it.

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All right, hold it, Sam, hold it.

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Uh, Professor Bone, I'd like to have a word with you.

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Who are you, sir?

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I'm a U.S. Marshal.

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Now, uh, let's sit at a table over there, huh? Come on.

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I'm at your service, Marshal.

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Why don't you sit down?

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Thank you.

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And to what do I owe this honor, sir?

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It, uh, isn't exactly an honor, Professor.

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I want you to stop putting opium in that stuff you're selling.

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Oh, well, come now, Marshal, surely you don't believe me?

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Doc Adams is analyzing it, Professor,

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and either you make it harmless or I'm going to run you out of dodge.

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Yes, yes, I believe you would.

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Now, you're free to sell it and you're free to do all the talking you want,

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but that's all.

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I'm, I'm a lonely old man, Marshal, and I'm tired of wondering.

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I'll do what you say.

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Good.

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I, uh, hope you don't get into trouble with your preaching about liquor, Professor.

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I have been fighting against drink ever since I was a youth.

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Oh, well, what about opium? Isn't that just as bad?

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I don't sell enough to do any harm, Marshal.

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Maybe, but why are you so strong about whiskey?

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When I was a child of twelve, my grandfather got drunk

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and threw a pet owl onto a horse that was standing nearby.

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What?

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He did, and it frightened the horse into kicking an orphan boy,

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broke the rim of his belly.

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That boy died, Marshal.

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Oh, I see.

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Professor Bones.

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Ah, Mr. Reeves, welcome, sir.

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And how is your good father?

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Marshal, I'm glad you're here.

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Oh, what's the trouble, Reeves?

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This here is not Professor, he's in trouble.

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I'll tell you, my old man, he had a bean stuck in his throat.

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The professor told me to give him a steam bath and then throw cold water on him.

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And I was doing it.

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For what for?

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So as he'd catch cold and get a cough and bring up the beans.

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Well, of all...

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But it didn't work, Mr. Reeves.

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It killed him.

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It what?

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My old man is dead.

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Dead? Good heavens, poor fellow.

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Now, I'm going to kill you, Professor.

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No, you're not.

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No, but no man can die of a mere cold, Mr. Reeves.

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Something must have gone wrong.

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What went wrong, all right?

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Come on, we'll get dark and go see what this is all about.

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And you'll get the idea of shooting anybody out of your head, Reeves.

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Maybe I will.

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Say, what goes on at your house at breakfast?

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Well, you can take it from me.

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The best thing that can go on to your breakfast table is post-toasties.

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Yes, sir, post-toasties, the heat-good corn flakes.

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Those golden crisp corn flakes are the best thing that's happened to corn since the Indians discovered it.

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You know how to prove it?

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Just pour out breakfast bowls full of post-toasties for your whole tribe.

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Then watch how they enjoy them.

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Post-toasties are crisp and tasty from the first bite down to the last spoonful.

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That sweet kernel corn flavor makes your breakfast.

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So always ask for post-toasties, the heat-good corn flakes.

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Post-toasties, heat-good corn flakes.

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The best thing that's happened to corn since the Indians discovered it.

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Heat-good corn flakes.

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Post-toasties, heat-good corn flakes.

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Remember, post-toasties is one of the famous triple-wrapped post-cereals, guaranteed fresh or triple your money back.

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Now back to Gunsmoke.

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Professor Bone wasn't a normal, everyday-type citizen, but he wasn't a murderer either.

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And whatever had gone wrong and killed Reeves' father couldn't be blamed entirely on him.

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Reeves had been a fool to follow his advice in the first place.

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Doc told him so too in as many ways as he could think of.

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We found the old man still lying in the steam bath Reeves had made.

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All he'd done was to dig a big hole in the ground with a fire pit in the middle and then stretch some canvas across the top for a roof.

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Doc climbed down into it and after a few minutes he came back out again.

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Well Reeves, all I can figure is your father died of a heart attack.

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I don't believe it Doc. That old man was strong as a bull.

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Well I know that but there's nothing else that could have caused it.

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How long did you have him in there Reeves?

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Oh, maybe half hour, Marshal. He was having a fine time when I left him.

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He poured a whole jug of vinegar on them rocks. I went up to the house to get some more.

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Wait a minute, what did you say? Vinegar?

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Sure. The professor here said it would help him to sweat.

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Wait a minute.

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Yes, I thought so.

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It's the vinegar that killed him, Reeves.

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What do you mean?

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That's limestone you used in there, isn't it?

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Well, limestone is fine.

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You put vinegar on hot limestone and it'll make acid gas.

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And that's what suffocated your pa.

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I didn't tell you to use limestone, Mr. Reeves. You can't blame me for that.

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But the vinegar was your idea, Professor, and I still say you murdered him.

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Now wait a minute, Reeves. You're not being sensible. This thing was an accident, that's all.

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I'm not a murderer. I never hurt anybody in my life.

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You don't even know what you do, you old fake. Selling that slop of yours loaded with narcotics.

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Did you tell him to stop that, Matt?

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Yeah, yeah, Doc. He said he would.

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My medicine is as pure as the dew, gentlemen. A newborn babe could drink it.

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Don't let me catch you giving handy newborn babes. I'm going to analyze it every day you're here.

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And I hope that won't be much longer.

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Oh, I'm a lonely old man, sir. The only home I have is in my wagon.

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Well, then go live in it, somewhere else. You've caused enough trouble around here.

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Doc, take it easy on him.

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Am I to be banished from the face of the earth? Am I not a man like any other man?

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Do you think I have no heart, no feelings, no soul?

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Well, why don't you just shut up and get out of here? I want to bury my old man.

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I would gladly help you in that task, Mr.

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No, sir. No, sir, not you. Not by alongside.

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You are unkind, sir. Gentlemen, I take my leave of you. Good day.

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For some reason, the three of us stood there in silence and watched Professor Bone walk away.

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He stopped once and glanced back at us for a moment, then went on.

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Later, when we got back to Front Street, his wagon was gone, and we figured probably that would be the last that we'd see of him.

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Dodge was fairly quiet that night, and when somebody reported seeing a fire of some kind out on the prairie, I decided I might as well ride out and have a look.

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There's no flames left, Mr. Dillon. I guess it must be all burned out.

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I don't remember a house of any kind around here. I wonder what it was.

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Maybe just a prairie fire that didn't get really started.

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Oh, there's something, Chester. Over there.

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Yeah, I can see a few coals.

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Oh, holla.

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What? It's a wagon, Mr. Dillon. It's all burned up.

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That's Professor Bone's wagon, Chester.

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I can only see your right.

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That's his horse, too.

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Professor!

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Professor Bone!

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Now, let's take a look here.

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Where in the world could he be, Mr. Dillon?

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I don't know, Chester.

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Look out now. I'm going to move some of this.

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Yeah, I'll help you.

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Look. Look right there.

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Yeah.

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You think that's a professor?

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I'm afraid so, Chester.

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Poor old fella. He must have been asleep and his wagon caught fire.

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Maybe.

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Funny, he couldn't get out, though, unless he was drunk or something.

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Professor Bone didn't drink, Chester.

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That's right. I forgot. He sure didn't.

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Say, you think maybe somebody did this, Mr. Dillon?

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Well, they had two or three men pretty mad at him.

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Yeah, or maybe it was Indians.

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Oh, not this close to Dodge.

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No. No, I guess not.

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I don't know, Chester.

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A lot of things can happen to people who get too lonely.

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Now, come on, let's get out of here. We'll take care of him in the morning.

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In just a moment, we'll tell you about next week's adventure on Gunsmoke.

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Say, exciting things happen to breakfast when there's sugar crinkles at every place.

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Sure, new sugar crinkles make breakfast more fun than a circus.

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You know why? Sugar crinkles is the sugar rice treat that's just right sweet.

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Not too sweet, the way some sugar-coated cereals seem to be,

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and not like others that aren't sweet enough.

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Sugar crinkles, every golden crisp nugget of them, is just right sweet.

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So try starting your day off just right with new sugar crinkles.

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And don't forget, when you're listening to the radio or watching television,

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sugar crinkles make great snacks.

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From the bowl or from the pack for your breakfast or a snack,

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sugar crinkles are more fun than a circus.

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Try sugar crinkles soon.

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They're the sugar rice treat that's just right sweet.

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So better get several packages.

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Music

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Gunsmoke under the direction of Norman McDonald stars William Conrad as Matt Dillon, U.S. Marshal.

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Tonight's story was specially written for Gunsmoke by John Meston,

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music composed and conducted by Rex Kort.

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Featured in the cast were John Boehner, Barney Phillips, Paul Dubov, and Lawrence Dobkin.

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Parley Bearer is Chester, Howard McNear is Doc, and Georgia Ellis is Kitty.

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Ken Peters speaking.

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Join us again next week as Matt Dillon, U.S. Marshal, avenges a killing

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during his fight to bring law and order out of the wild violence of the West

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in Gunsmoke.

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Music

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Listen next week at this time when Gunsmoke will be brought to you by sugar crinkles,

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the sugar rice treat that's just right sweet.

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Music