Personal notice, dangers my stock and trade.
If the job's too tough for you to handle, you got a job for me, George Valentine.
Write full details.
Why the frown, pal?
Worried about that lawnmower you lent the guy next door two years ago?
Not just because he lost his memory when he went ten rounds with Lewis is no reason to get yourself in a snit.
My advice to you is let George do it.
You know George Valentine.
Take your problems to him.
Everybody else does.
You'll find him in the phone book.
That's where Abner found him.
Only Bruxy got him first.
Bruxy fronts for George.
And even over the phone you'd know she's perfect for the job.
But not our Abner.
All he could do was confuse the issue.
Hello?
I would, but I can't, you see.
It's a great ad. I've seen it lots of times.
Oh, a great ad, I said to myself.
There's a kind of a guy that when a guy's in a pinch can...
Well, just a minute. Mr. Valentine...
I'll get on the extension, Angel.
Hello? Hello? I haven't got much time.
Yeah, I'm right here. I got it.
No time to write, but who are you? What's your problem?
Now, this is a real pleasure, sir.
If you'll permit me, my name is Abner and I'm in jail.
Your what?
Only don't get me wrong.
The reason I can't write is because I can't write. You understand?
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You said you were...
That's right. I'm in jail.
And let me tell you a more unjust thing has never happened to me.
There ain't no justice...
Mr. Abner, slow down a little. I'm trying to write.
It's important, that's all.
There wouldn't be time to write either, I guess, for that matter.
But the main thing is it's important.
That's what I've got to make you understand, see? You get me?
Oh, sure. You make it so easy.
Yeah, well, I'm kind of excited.
You see, the jail burned down.
Oh, yeah. And you burned down, wouldn't you?
Now, hold on. I mean the jail over in Melody.
That's where I'm calling from.
Melody? Over in the valley?
Yes, sir. That's the one. And a beautiful little town it is for tarantulas.
But that old jail, let me tell you, was the biggest I saw in...
Hold it, hold it, will you? Now, say something sensible or hang up.
But I am. I mean, just because I can't write.
Listen, the fire was last night. They moved us out, that's all.
Now we're locked up in the sheriff's office. That's how I could get to the phone.
Ah, clear as a bell.
Listen to me. I got out of the fire, understand?
Only one of the guys in the big cell, he didn't.
He's dead. And if I tell what I know about it, I'll be dead too.
What?
I mean it. It's a rough deal. Get over here, will you?
If you don't help me, if they make me tell what I know, they'll burn me.
I wonder if this Abner's telling the truth.
Could be he's taking George on a wild goose chase.
Well, all I know is my friend here won't lead you astray...
because what he has to say is straight into the point.
Lead on, Macduff.
You made every word live, son.
Now let's see if George and Brooksy can do as much for Abner.
Oh, that's them pulling up in front of the sheriff's office.
Well, that's the sheriff's office, George.
Yeah. Sure needs a coat of paint, all right.
But I guess this is the place that dopey guy on the telephone to...
Hey! Hey!
Shh! That's you, Valentine.
Yeah.
Oh, they were in the...
The alley, George.
Here. Right here. Hurry up. Don't let anybody see you.
Okay. You're Abner, huh?
But I thought you said you were locked up inside.
Right you are, lady.
Transferred to all of us here when the jail burned down.
Only now I'm... I'm nuts, see?
Well, how did you get out?
They turned us loose.
I just dropped into town for a little game.
A slight flutter of the pasteboards and wham, they picked me up.
But the way they treat you in this town, you'd think you'd murdered a whole city block.
We got in the way and they turned us loose.
I don't blame them.
Kicked me out and told me to get out of town without even giving me a free meal.
Can you imagine? There ain't no justice.
Oh, now listen, Buster. I drove four hours just so I could try to make sense out of what you said on the phone.
Sure, sure, sure. So let me tell you just what...
Oh, no, you don't. I'll tell you.
We stopped at the scene of the fire on our way in. You weren't lying. There was a fire.
Well, that's what I...
Furthermore, a man, a prisoner, who was hauled in last night, another big gentleman like yourself, didn't get out.
He died in that fire.
It's plain to see you got the facts. But I don't know his name. Nobody knows his name.
Sure, sure, but it was a plain, simple death so far as anybody knows.
So Abner, whatever you know had better be...
He was dead before the fire.
What?
You heard me. In a big jammed up cell. Conditions are terrible here, I tell you.
In that big snoring mass of men, that guy was already dead as a mackerel.
How do you know?
Because when the fire started, I tried to rescue him, that's why.
Because I put my hands on him and shook him and practically got frozen for my trouble.
Body cold as ice, I tell you.
All right. All right, we get the idea.
Why didn't you tell the police?
Because they're mixed up in it, that's why.
In some way, I tell you in this town they got a chief of policing...
Oh, no, wait a minute.
His name's McNabb and his crew are crooked as a cactus.
For instance, you know what? He beats me, hauls me into his office and beats me.
You don't believe me. Ask Hank. Hank, come over here.
Hank?
He was there. He knows.
Hello, everybody.
Hank, huh?
I beg your pardon.
Whiskers do not measure a man, nor the patches in his pants.
How do you do?
Pleasure, young lady. Pleasure indeed.
Now listen, Mr. Valentine.
Hank here was visiting my humble abode.
Humble abode?
A small place, not too elegant.
As for that big guy, the guy who died, we did entertain him.
Hank and I invited him to share our diggings a couple of days ago.
Don't exaggerate, Abner.
Your room is a dump. And you didn't even know the guy's name.
I remember you said hello and I said hello and he says, oh, fascinating fellow.
What do you know about his death, Hank?
It's just what Abner's told you, I suppose.
It's no skin off my neck. I don't like people who won't talk.
I doubt if even he said three words to the cop who threw him in.
You mean when he was arrested?
Rounded up a whole bunch of us.
Yes, they do it every Saturday night in this town.
That's the cross we have to bear.
And I may say at Draftier Jail cell...
Now listen, that guy didn't die of no cold.
He didn't look any too well.
I wouldn't be surprised if the fright and the excitement of the fight...
It was a treatment he got, I'm telling you, the rough way that they had...
What rough treatment? What kind of stuff are you guys trying to put...
Beat you, that's what they do.
Round you up, say change your clothes and into the tank you go.
No chance to argue or nothing.
I tell you that McNab's a regular guest top...
Oh, get off the soapbox, Abner. Live and let live.
Take it easy, there's no excitement.
Okay, Abner, okay.
Where do I find this chief of police?
Oh no, oh no you don't.
I'm not going to come within five miles...
I wouldn't ask you to.
Hey you, Hank, come on, lead the way.
How did I get dragged into this?
Quit kicking, friend.
I could ask the same question myself.
So they say he died somehow before the fire, is that right?
Yes, chief, they said that...
Now wait just a minute how you used that word they.
It's Abner who said...
Oh, get out of here, go on, beat it.
Look out, chief, don't hit me.
What? What did you say?
Well, I haven't done anything and when you talk like that Abner...
Go on, Hank, go on, we don't need you.
Well, sure, if you say so.
I didn't mean any harm.
Pleasant morning to you, chief.
There's a wreck of a man.
Big words, little work.
What are you looking at me like that for?
I suppose you expect me to hit people too.
All right, now just take it easy, chief, will you?
I know what kind of a guy Abner is.
But I also saw that jail had burned.
And it wasn't exactly a model one for as big a town as this.
Sure, sure, my fault. Blame it on the chief.
Wouldn't have anything to do with how much money the town gives me to run this force, would it?
Skip it, will you?
There was no connection between the fire and that other bum's death.
Unless somebody set the fire in order to get rid of some evidence, like a blow or a bullet.
Just in case that death wasn't natural, I mean.
Oh, but George, that doesn't make any sense.
All that trouble just to get rid of some unknown, a man nobody cared about?
Now look, both of you, I want to...
Excuse me, chief.
Oh, get out of here, sergeant.
I thought you ought to see that dead guy's clothes.
You know what?
Well, here, for the wing of the jail that wasn't burned, where they changed.
You mean what he was wearing when he was thrown in? Here, let me see that.
I'll do that, mister.
Ah, eleven cents change, huh? Big man.
Typical vagrant, I tell you. He was just...
No, here, chief, a piece of paper.
So many on a Saturday night, we don't really have time to go over them, you know.
Let me see that.
Mr. Walter F. Smith.
Who?
Yeah, mystery sol, chief. That's his name, apparently.
Suggest you stick pretty closely to plenty of milk, leave out too much starch,
be careful of pepper or any seasoning.
What?
What's that?
That's all. Some doctor's name, Kansas City.
Yeah, a diet list, chief. So he was just a nobody, huh?
Oh, no.
Well, what's the matter? I should think that would help you...
Chief just realizes he might be in a worse spot than ever, right, McNabb?
Very smart, Valentine. You catch on real quick.
Negligence, angel. If there was anything wrong with this guy,
then the police should have found out about it.
Maybe he needed help instead of a cell.
Go on, get out of here. I got work to do.
Oh, wait a minute, sir. There's something else.
Now, look, sergeant, you've caused enough trouble yourself for one day.
I'm sorry, chief, but over at the morgue, there's a woman.
She says she's Mrs. Walter F. Smith.
His wife?
Well, I guess, or used to be.
Anyway, she's been looking for him several months.
Read about this in the newspaper.
Just flew into town on a hunch to look at the body.
Flew in? The wife of a typical nobody?
I mean, you better see it, chief.
I mean, she wears a mink coat.
Of course there's nothing I can tell you. What could I tell you?
Don't be ridiculous. I'm going back to my hotel.
Look, I know how you feel, Mrs. Smith.
I don't know whether he was ill or not. I don't know anything about him lately.
But the chief of police asked me to...
I'm sorry. I've been through enough seeing Walter there like that.
Mrs. Smith, if you don't...
My taxi's waiting. I'm sorry.
Which hotel?
Let her go. Leave her alone.
Sure, where's a mink coat?
Wife of a bum?
Well, we asked her to stay until you...
I wanted to see what the teletype check said on his name, that's all.
Well?
Walter F. Smith is wanted by the law.
What?
Embezzlement.
Well, all right. What are you so sour about?
If his death was the police's fault anyway, it's better for you than if he was a respectable citizen.
Hold still. I'll give you the facts. Have fun with him.
In addition to Smith, his loot of $200,000 is also wanted.
Oh. Do you suppose someone found out what he did with it and then murdered him last night?
There you go. Having fun already.
Take it easy, Chief. At least you're off the hook.
So now everybody else is up to something, that's all.
As Abner puts it, there ain't no justice.
Our boy Valentine sounded a little burned up when he said there ain't no justice.
And he's right. Where's the body he always stumbles on along about now?
This could ruin his reputation.
You know, I'd ask my friend here to drop dead, except I know he has something pretty good to tell you.
Now let's get back and see if George's temper has improved.
Not that I blame him. Abner would make anybody see red.
If you remember, Abner is the old coot that accused Chief of Police McNabb of barbecuing a fellow prisoner by burning down the pokey.
As an added touch, Abner swears the victim was dead before he got the hot foot.
Then to make matters more complicated, the Chief discovers the body belonged to a Walter Smith, who was wanted for taking $200,000 that didn't belong to him.
Complicated? You bet.
But George hasn't figured. He says it's murder.
Even so, I think I'd better lend our boy a hand as he starts asking questions around town.
I have a landlady, George.
Walter Smith came to town a couple of days ago. You must have noticed something about him, or he must have had some baggage that you...
I'm a working woman, Mac. I don't have time to sit around and gab with a guess.
I just thought he was a drifter like the rest of them, that's all. And he had no baggage. I can tell you that in one word, no baggage.
Two words. But you notice baggage, huh? Keep your eye out for that sort of thing?
I gotta protect it, you know. Don't want nothing stolen from the guess.
Uh-huh. Nothing in his bureau?
Oh, spare shirt maybe. How should I know? I'm telling you like I told McNabb.
Smith was here, but I didn't notice him until he wasn't here last night, and somebody said he was in jail.
Who said?
A guy named Abner. Seemed all upset.
Oh, yeah. They're rounding up Abner again.
Ain't that interesting. Look, if you're through nosing around...
Here's your newspaper.
Huh?
Yeah, it's today's newspaper. Room hasn't been occupied since yesterday, and I don't know who else would read the fashion page around here.
Thanks.
Now, you've been going through this room. What did you find?
Nothing. Gee, 200,000 bucks they say he's got someplace. But I'm telling you, not a thing. Not any baggage, not nothing.
You expect me to believe that?
George.
Yeah, in here, Brooksy.
George, I can't find it.
If you're looking for me, dearie...
Mrs. Smith, his wife. I tried every hotel in town.
That taxi driver who drove her away from the morgue?
The police had already located the driver. He says he dropped her off downtown here in the business section.
What are you two talking about? You know something I don't?
I doubt it. Come on, Angel, I've learned all I need to.
So it wasn't the fault of the big bad police, Valentine. I just talked long distance to that doctor in Kansas City, the one whose name was on the diet chart.
What did you find out, Chief?
There was nothing really wrong with Smith's health. He was one of them hypochondriacs. You know, warriors, pill takers. Doc finally booted him out.
All right, all right. So the police are pure. Did you locate that Abner for me?
I haven't done anything for you, but I'll take you down to a garage if you want.
A garage?
Smith's wife. She went down to this garage and rented a car. Only now the car's back and she's disappeared.
I don't know where she went when she took the car.
Didn't you see Mrs. Smith when she came back to your garage?
She was gone about an hour, I guess. Anyways, I didn't notice the car. It was just a few minutes ago parked here in the alley.
It's been someplace with a lot of dust.
I got the sergeant around combing the town for her. She's back. She's got to be around someplace.
You're sure about that?
Why not?
Well, I didn't have much luck and I must have been looking after she came back.
Twenty-two miles.
What?
Well, you set the speedometer back to zero when you hire a car out, don't you?
Well, that's right.
So wherever she went, it was 11 miles out and 11 miles back.
With all that dust, too. Now look, a piece of sage brush.
What's ticking in your head?
Most of the roads around here are paved. There's only a couple of...
This is grape country. Irrigated, most of it. So how did that sage brush get there?
Come on, hop in my car. I'll show you.
This is the third and last road.
Ten and a half miles.
Yeah, plenty of sage brush on this one.
Yeah, old double-A place. Sold out and cut the water off.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's that building over there?
Abandoned winery. Only the mileage...
Wait a minute. Hold it. Stop. Tracks. Right there. See them turning off?
Yeah. Only there's two cars.
Yeah, there's one right there.
What?
An old pickup truck. See? Beyond the building.
Hey. Hey, you.
It's Abner and Hank, George.
Hey, look out. Stay back.
Abner.
Wait for me, Abner. I didn't do anything.
Stop. Both of you.
Stay away from that truck.
Wait, Abner. We haven't done anything, my boy.
Stop or I'll shoot.
McNabb's with him. Come on.
Hey, slow down, Hank.
I'm not doing anything.
Okay, Hank. Your friend left you. That's all.
Oh, cut it out, McNabb. He got away. Let him go.
But if I don't get after him right now...
Abner was just looking for you, Mr. Valentine.
We just got here.
A garage man told him you were out trying some roads or something,
so he borrowed the truck and grabbed me along.
Skip it. Radio the Highway Patrol, McNabb. They'll get him.
And take Miss Brooks into town for me.
What? Who do you think is chief of police in this town?
I've told her what I want.
Help me. I hurt my foot a little.
Okay, okay. I'll take care of Hank here.
Only get your car away from here, McNabb. Quick.
Okay.
All right. Cool off, Hank. We'll just wait.
In the shade, if we can find any.
How long are we going to wait, Mr. Valentine?
Oh, relax. Relax, Hank. Sun will set in a couple of hours.
Couple of hours? Then it'll be just as bad.
It gets real cold out here in the evening.
It goes through your bones.
I don't know how I got into this crazy...
Yeah, sure I know.
Abner brought you out here with him, huh?
Abner got me into this because he already had a little idea who Smith really was.
Is that check?
I guess so, Mr. Valentine. I don't know.
Sure, sure. You were all in jail together.
Abner thought maybe I could help point him toward the money, is that right?
I guess he thought that because Mrs. Smith came out here,
well, then the money was out here, too.
Yeah, yeah. It might be.
You really think so?
Well, in that case, while everybody's gone, maybe you and I...
Oh, no, no. It's too hot.
No, we'd never find it, Hank. Let the police worry.
Abner doesn't trust McNam. That's why he took off.
I know it. But he'll be back, looking for the money.
Look, Mr. Valentine, was this guy Smith murdered?
I don't know.
Holy smoke. Maybe he killed himself.
Well, it could have happened, only it doesn't tie with anything very well.
Come on, we're losing our shade. Let's move.
Maybe Smith was just not in too good health and kicked off.
A man has to take care of himself.
Yeah, you're right.
Here's a good place.
The winery?
There. It ought to be cool inside here, don't you think?
Okay.
Boy, it's dark.
What in the name of...
Hey, what happened? Did you fall?
I'm all right.
Look.
I tripped.
Look.
Mrs. Smith.
The body of Mrs. Smith.
Oh, thank goodness. At last a body.
Too bad it had to be Mrs. Smith.
But you know the old saying, here today and ghoul tomorrow.
Anyway, while George is getting to the bottom of this, I want my friend here to dish a little off the top.
You know, there's an ironic twist to this story.
It all takes place in a town called Melody.
As far as I can see, it's been one discord after another.
And this fellow Hank isn't helping matters with his off-key baritone.
Look, I don't like it around here, and it's cold even in here.
I told you it'd be cold, and I...
Quiet. Well, you don't make so much noise.
But she's been dead a long time.
Get over the head. Yeah, I can see for myself.
So somebody else drove the car back.
She drove out, and somebody else drove it back. That's more like it.
I'm getting nervous. Somebody will be back here.
Yeah, you're right. All we know about her is that her husband left her.
He was hiding out, posing as a bum.
So she came after him to get the money.
You mean to say the money was here?
I mean, I've caught on to this case, that's all.
Mrs. Smith didn't know where her husband was.
How could she know where the money was if he was dead before she got to town?
Oh, for the love of...
Okay, okay. I'll stop talking, Riddles.
Shh. You hear that?
Yeah. We got company.
Get back in here. He can't see you.
Hold it.
McNabb.
Valentine?
Oh, yeah. Right here, Chief.
Oh, holy smoke, Chief. We thought you might be somebody else.
Where's Miss Brooks?
Out in the car. We haven't located Abner yet.
Did you two find what I told Brooks about?
Yeah. Pills, medicines, a small drugstore.
Okay, where was it?
First place you suggested. But I doubt if it'll do much good as evidence.
I know it, but I got a better idea. Go on back to the car.
Okay, sure.
Say, what's the idea?
What's so funny?
Well, you might not see the jail, Cank.
Sit down. We're gonna wait some more. For days, if we have to.
Wait? What for?
A confession.
What?
Yeah, a man named Smith was a fugitive from the law, and from his wife, too.
Had money and plenty of trouble, and worst of all, he was sure he was sick.
So the money couldn't give him much fun, could it?
And result? He was hiding on Skid Row when he got an idea.
Why not die?
Look, I'm... I'm cold, and I'm dying of religion.
He did. He did just that. He died of murder.
And afterwards, set fire to the jail he was in, so his body couldn't be examined too closely.
He what?
It all worked beautifully until his wife showed up.
She kept her mouth shut when she saw the body.
But afterwards, must have spotted Smith herself, and so he brought her out here and he killed her.
Probably told her the money was here, when really, I suppose, it stashed away in Kansas City or anyplace else.
I'll say you don't know anything. You're so mixed up.
Oh, I should have caught on when I found Smith's room had no baggage.
That's where the pill taker's private drug store should have been.
But of course it wasn't.
They were with your stuff, Walter F. Smith.
That's where McNabb found it.
Oh, is that so?
Yeah, the man you killed was just a poor penny-ante gambler.
A man you knew hardly ever opened his mouth.
No one knew anything about him. He'd never be missed.
So you knocked him over the head, I suppose, when all the rest of the men were asleep.
I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Valadar.
They put that diet chart in his clothes. Oh, not a bad stunt.
Make the police think they might have done a pretty terrible thing.
Make them want to cover it up and keep it quiet.
I won't admit any of it. There's nothing you can do for me.
Oh, Buster, what an ironic spot you sit on.
Oh, you're cold? Oh, well, come on, let's have a brandy.
You know, I remember the items on that diet list.
Milk, no pepper, just bland stuff.
So the guy it was written for must have been worried about his stomach.
Come on, Hank, have a brandy.
Little sharp, maybe, kind of strong for some stomachs, maybe, but for you it'll...
I don't want it.
Too bad you didn't have the sense to stay away from here.
Just curious, I guess. Shut up, shut up.
Look, Mr. Smith, if all I've said isn't true, well, go ahead, have a drink.
There's nothing wrong with you. The diet chart wasn't yours.
Shut up!
And after you're really hungry, we'll go in for a nice spicy Mexican dinner, maybe.
There'll be no excuse for you not to eat it, will there be?
Cut this out!
After all, you're OK. You can eat anything. Go on, have a drink.
You! You!
All right, come on, Mr. Smith.
Ms. Brooks will take it down in shorthand.
And then we're going back to town and find Abner.
And see how he can take some gentle persuasion.
Abner, I want you to get out of Melody and keep going.
And right now...
Look out! Don't you hit me again, Chief.
Oh, I've never hit you. Nobody on my force has ever...
Abner, listen, will you? The Chief here is all right.
With a little publicity on this case, maybe the town will wake up
and give him the money his department needs.
But, Abner, I am not a cop.
I'm not a cop.
Abner, I am not a cop.
I'd be glad to hit you.
No, no, you wouldn't.
That's what you think.
I don't like being played for a sucker, so start moving.
No, look, I mean, I know I did a lot of lying
to get you into the case.
I figured we could make some dough together.
There goes.
No, no, no.
Thanks, Fran, thanks.
That guy sure was a headache.
Don't mention it.
Okay, Brooksie, let's go.
All right, George.
So long, McNabb.
Well, where you been, Angel?
Seems to me you kind of dropped out of things.
Missed me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, well, I was busy with the case, so...
Never mind.
As Abner used to say, there ain't no justice.
Say, did you ever see a dream walking?
Maybe not, but you just saw a bell burning.
Brooksie.
And if she'll be good enough to hold that torch she's carrying
a little closer, I'll be able to read that Robert Bailey
plays George Valentine with Virginia Gregg as Brooksie.
Don Clark directed the script by David Victor and Jackson Gillis,
and Eddie Dunstetter's music kept things blazing.
I'd like you to make a mental note right now
to save a half hour for us next time
when you will hear what happens when you let George do it.