Ranger Bill, Warrior of the Woodland.
Ranger Bill, Warrior of the Woodland, struggling against extreme odds, traveling dangerous
trails, fighting the many enemies of nature.
This is the job of the guardian of the forest, Ranger Bill.
Pouring rain, freezing cold, blistering heat, snow, floods, bears, rattlesnakes, mountain
lions.
Yes, all this in exchange for the satisfaction and pride of a job well done.
Hello boys and girls.
Ranger Bill and all his friends have had a lot of experience with animal problems.
Mountain lions, bears, wolves, and a host of others.
But in our story today, they are up against a real toughy.
The whole trouble in this problem is that the creatures involved carry their own gas
equipment.
Yes, you've probably already guessed it.
Well, let's find out what happens in this story.
The Eviction of Paw and Maw Skunk.
A tall Texan by the name of Arnold Fleming is out at Goose Lake right now looking for
a home for his family.
Goose Lake is mostly a summer resort area for Naughty Pine, Junction City, and Canyon
City.
But some of the homes are built for year-round living.
Arnold's been looking all over the area for a home with the help of a real estate agent
by the name of George Sims.
Now Arnold's come back to look at a particular house again.
Let's drop in on the two men and find out what cooks.
Mr. Sims, I sure like this here house.
It suits me just fine.
Well, I'm glad you like it.
But there's one thing I must tell you about it.
Now, see here, man.
You all sound like you're trying to discourage me from buying this here house.
Not in the least.
It's just that I want you to know that-
All I know is that I like it.
The view's fine, it's close to the lake, and it's close to Vittles.
And the school is just down the road a piece.
Let's go back to your office and you can draw up the papers.
I'll go over to the bank and have a certified check made.
Okay, Mr. Fleming.
I guess if your mind's made up, it's made up.
Yes, Mr. Sims.
Us Texans know what we want and we know how to go after it.
I want this house, you hear?
Yes.
Well, go back to my office and we'll close the deal.
Well, Mr. Fleming, your furniture is all in the house without a scratch.
You all did a fine job of moving, mister.
Yeah, thank you.
Hey, will you sign this invoice, please?
Certainly.
There you are.
We'll be showing off now, Mr. Fleming.
Hope you enjoy your new home.
Thank you for them kind words.
That's mighty fine of you.
Bye.
I'm gonna like it here fine, Daddy.
Me too.
Boy, look at the lake.
There must be lots of fish in it.
I might be glad you all like this place, children.
How do you like it, Sue?
Oh, just fine, Arnold.
You sure picked a pretty spot.
Say, who's this old fella coming to see us, Dad?
Why, I don't reckon I rightly know, son.
We'll soon find out.
Howdy, folks.
How do you do?
Howdy, sir.
Name's Abner.
I live down the road at the store.
The sun runs a place now.
Oh, glad to meet you, Abner.
Our name's Fleming.
This is my daughter, June, and my son, Fred, and my wife, Sue.
And my name's Arnold.
We all hail from Texas.
It's hard to figure.
You bought the best house on the lake, eh?
Yes, sir, we did.
Us Texans always do things right.
Not this time you didn't, Mr. Fleming.
Huh?
What you all mean, Abner?
Ferguson's used to live here.
They couldn't get him out.
Get who out, Abner?
Skunks.
Skunks?
In this house?
I don't understand.
Now, Abner, see here, you ain't joking, are you?
No, sir, I ain't.
We should worry.
There's a family of skunks living under your house.
They've been there for years.
Nobody's been able to get them out.
You say they're under the house?
Yep, that's where they be.
Oh, well, then we have anything to worry about, Abner.
I thought they was in the house from the way you talked.
You plan to move in anyhow?
Certainly.
We're not afraid of skunks.
Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you.
They get mad and let fly.
You come out of your house smelling like a barrel of old eggs.
Children, it's time you went to bed now.
I don't want to go to bed yet.
You do?
Now, you get to bed.
You've had a busy day, do you hear?
Yes, Mother.
You think there's any truth in old Abner's story about the pesky old skunks, Dad?
I rather doubt it, son.
You know how these old timers are.
They like to spin yawns.
Well, come on now.
You get to bed and no more stalling.
Night, Mommy, Daddy.
Night, Mom, Dad.
Night, Fred, June.
Arnold, we've got to buy some rugs tomorrow.
I don't like these bare floors.
All right, Sue.
I'll take you and the children to town in the morning.
Arnold, what's that noise?
Now, Sue, there's no need for you all to get excited.
For God's sake, that racket half scared me to death.
I'm here to take care of things now.
What's wrong, Mommy?
What's the matter?
What's that smell?
I smell it too.
Oh, it's awful.
We've got to get out of this house.
That's skunk gas.
Skunk?
We've got to get out of here now before it gets all over your clothes.
Skunk?
Skunk?
Skunk?
Skunk?
Skunk?
Skunk?
Skunk?
We've got to get out of here now before it gets all over your clothes and people won't
get near you.
We're gonna get here.
Arnold, you should have opened the window.
That wouldn't do a bit of good.
It's awful.
Wait till I get my hands on that highbinding real estate agent that sold me this place.
What'll we do now, Dad?
It's cold out here.
Well, we'll have to move into the neighbors.
In the morning, I'll see what I can do about these here skunks.
I don't like to slow you down, Arnold, but I got the miseries in my back.
You go on ahead if you want.
I'll catch up.
You all take it easy, Abner.
I'm in no hurry to open the door to my house.
Just wait till I get my hands on the skink real estate agent.
Not too bad you didn't listen to me.
You never get that skunk smell out of the house for a long time.
I guess I gotta learn the hard way, Abner.
You'd better stay here.
I'll open the door.
I think we'll.
We just can't move fast anymore.
Oh, my, this is terrible.
I thought rotten eggs smelled bad, but this is worse.
Yeah, I'll say it's worse.
It's worse than a field of cabbage after the first frost.
Let's get our way from here, Arnold, before we pick this up in the clothes.
Come on.
I wish I knew what to do about them pesky skunks.
Maybe I can help you.
You can?
Why, Abner, I'd be mighty obliged if you would.
If we get back to the store, I'd call Bill Jefferson.
Who's Bill Jefferson, Abner?
A specialist, an evict, and skunk?
No, he's Forest Ranger.
Best there is.
If Bill can't get your smelly friends out, then nobody can.
I'd sure appreciate it if you'd call us here, Ranger.
And when you're finished, I'm going to call that no-account real estate varmint and get
him out here.
I think I'll throw him inside my house.
You wouldn't do that, would you, Arnold?
Why not?
Then he'd be with his relatives.
I got it, fellas.
Hello, Ranger headquarters.
Bill Jefferson speaking.
Why, hello, Abner.
How are you?
Oh, that's fine.
What?
Oh, no.
Maybe Bill swallowed feather and it tickled his stomach.
Abner, I really shouldn't laugh because it's serious.
Those skunks probably have ruined the poor guy's personal belongings.
What?
Oh, sure.
We'll get out right away and see what we can do.
Okay, Abner.
Goodbye.
Oh, Bill Jefferson, what's so old-fired funny?
What this about skunks?
Well, fellas, as I told Abner, it really isn't funny, but then again it is.
There's a family of skunks under a house at Goose Lake.
It seems though they won't let anybody live there but themselves.
I suppose you're going to go out there and talk to Monfoss skunk and ask him to move,
huh?
Yeah, that's the general idea, old-timer.
Bill, you make joke.
I ain't going to get close to any pole cats, honey.
Now, Stumpy, be reasonable.
We're not going to get close to them, you know that.
I got close once and I had to take a bath every night in the week for a month.
Then my ma made me sleep out in the barn.
I didn't mind sleeping in the barn, but I sure didn't like taking all those baths.
Stumpy, you.
Come on, fellas, let's ride out and take a look.
Maybe we can help these folks.
Okay, sonny, but if one of those critters raises his tail, I'm going to get, and I mean
get good.
I'm going to throw you right through that door, George Sims.
Anybody that would sell a house with skunks in it ought to be tarred and feathered and
rid out of town on a rail, you hear?
Listen, Texan, you lay a hand on me and I'll have you pinched.
I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.
Listen to me, you balling maverick.
The only thing you told me was the price and where to sign my name.
I'm going to heave you right through that door.
You touch me and you go to jail.
Keep away.
I'm warning you.
Don't threaten me, you short-or-berry dog.
It'll be worth going to jail to see you get what's coming to you.
Hey, you two.
Give me a hand, Ranger.
He's twice as big as I am.
Rangers.
All right, mister.
Take your hands off this man.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
I just wanted to make this fellow smell like his relative.
Now let's cool down and find out what this is all about.
Just behave yourself, sonny.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
I'll tell you what happened, Bill.
Arnold here's too hot under the collar to talk sense.
That'll be fine, Ebner.
Go ahead.
Well, sir, the toll started when Arnold here bought this place.
It was Ferguson's house, for.
When these folks from Texas came along, they...
So that's the whole story, Bill.
Thanks, Ebner.
Now, Mr. Sims, you'd better leave while the leaving's good.
I think you pulled a fast one, but I'll go into that later.
You just go ahead, Ranger.
If that man wasn't such a know-it-all, I'd have told him.
But I couldn't get into word edgewise with a crowbar.
You should have drove those smelly varmints out before you sold the house.
Now, see here, sonny, if you don't get a hold of your blood pressure, we'll just up and skedaddle.
Oh, well, no, don't do that.
I'll control the house from now on.
Then we stay and try and help you.
You really think you can get rid of them there, pesky sconce, Bill?
Yes, we'll help, Arnold Ebner.
It's not our job, but we're always glad to help folks in trouble.
I sure appreciate your help.
I'm just playing up a tree, and it looks like the sconce will keep me there unless you fellows
get me down.
Well, I'm not making any promises, but we'll do our best.
Why are you planning to get those fellows out, Bill?
The first step of my plan is to make a phone call.
We're going back to town for a while, Arnold.
Don't start anything until we get back.
Don't fret about that, Bill.
I ain't got a hankering to get perfumed with that antisocial gas the sconce put out.
Okay.
We'll see what we can do to make the sconce family a more acceptable society.
Who are you calling, Bill?
Dr. Fordham at State University, Stumpy.
State University.
I'd like to speak to Dr. Fordham, please.
Just one moment, please.
I'll ring Dr. Fordham.
Thank you.
This fellow is a skunk specializing in the field of sconce.
I'd like to speak to Dr. Fordham, please.
Just one moment, please.
I'll ring Dr. Fordham.
Thank you.
This fellow is a skunk specialist, sonny.
Not as such an old-timer.
He's an outstanding chemist and zoologist.
One moment, please.
I'm ringing Dr. Fordham.
All right, Operator.
I'll wait.
You think he'll be able to tell you how to get rid of skunks?
I hope so.
Dr. Fordham speaking.
Hello, Doctor.
This is Bill Jefferson.
Well, hello, Bill.
How are you?
Just fine.
How are you, sir?
Oh, here's a little Bill.
Not too bad.
Not bad for an old man, huh?
Oh, what are you talking about?
You're not old.
Well, what's on your mind, Bill?
How can I drive skunks out from under a house?
Your house?
No, a friend of mine has them under his house, and they won't let him move in.
You're giving them the gas, huh?
Yeah, more than he can bottle, too.
Well, really, it's nothing to laugh about.
Hey, why don't you try mothballs, Bill?
Will they do the trick?
They should.
But you know how skunks are.
Yeah, they're used to strong smellers.
All right.
Only they don't smell with the same organ that they make gas with.
That's a good thing, and they'd be trying to run away from themselves.
That's right, Bill.
Mothballs, huh?
Well, we'll try it.
Thanks for your help, sir.
Well, that's quite right, Bill.
If it doesn't work, let me know.
I will.
Goodbye.
Hey, who ever heard of driving out skunks with mothballs?
That's like using fly paper to catch grizzly bears.
What in the world is that gear you're taking out of the car?
Looks like you're getting ready for a rainstorm.
We ain't getting ready for no rainstorm, sonny.
This is our battle gear for a skunk war.
Wait and see what else we brought.
Well, a gas mask.
Sure.
You don't think I'm going to put my bare face under your house without this over it, do
you?
You think the gas mask will keep the odor out?
I don't know, young fella.
When they see me coming with this mask over my face, they'll probably drop dead from fright.
Hmm, they think you men from Mars.
You see?
I'll tell you how you'll know if this gas mask works or not, Arnold.
How's that stumpy?
When one of them fellers swings his caboose around and aims his tail at me, well, the
first whiff of skunk perfume I get through the mask, I'm coming out from under the house.
In fact, the house will move right off its foundation, as if I come out from under it,
I'm really coming out.
Yes, sirree, just call me Housewrecker Jenkins.
Let's get down to work, fellas.
First, I want to carry out Arnold's clothes, his family's too.
Then we'll carry out the upholstered furniture and store it in the garage.
Then we go to work and put down the mothballs under the house.
You're really going to crawl under the house, Bill?
No, Arnold, we're not.
With your permission, we'll open up the floor in strategic places and drop the mothballs
down.
That's okay with me.
Anything to get rid of them pesky skunks.
You bring along some extra gear so I can help you?
Yeah, we'll have your outfit sorted out here in a minute.
Gear already now, Bill.
Hey, you poor fool, Cass, don't take these things for candy and come back for more.
Put the mothballs down here, Stunky.
Okay, Stunky.
Why, you want me to tear up the floor next, Bill?
Make a hole in the kitchen floor, Grey Wolf.
Okay, I do.
I think we've got enough mothballs under the house except for the kitchen.
Quick, Mumbrin, what did you say?
I said this is enough.
Yeah?
What should I?
Oh, forget it.
Follow me.
Don't we smell pretty?
You think we'll ever get that odor off the rubber gear, sonny?
Oh, sure.
It'll wash off old timer.
And wash off rubber easier than off skin.
Those white striped kitties are getting some of their own medicine.
When they get out and the words smell like mothballs, none of their relatives will come near them.
I sure haven't seen any of them running out from under the house yet.
Long given time, mothballs not work as fast as skunk gas.
That's true.
But I hope this here stuff starts working soon.
Arnold, when are the skunks going to leave?
I'd like to get back in my room, Dad.
Yes, Daddy, you said the mothballs would drive them away.
You all have to be patient now.
Bill didn't make any promises.
Well, we can't stay with our neighbors forever, Arnold.
I reckon you're right.
Maybe the skunks will be out in a couple of days.
What do you see, Stumpy?
This house is so big I can't see them critters.
But I sure can smell them.
They're still under there, Bill.
Might say the same thing.
Mothballs not work.
The whole family probably put on weight eating the mothballs.
It's the best candy they've ever had.
Oh, Stumpy.
Put the can of mothballs out here and see if they don't come out and lead up against it.
Now, see here, fellas, I don't like to be on, Ray, but well, I don't think we're getting anywhere.
If you all don't get results, I will.
How's that, sonny?
I'll get a shotgun and go in there after them.
Hey, don't be foolish, young fella.
Stumpy's right, Arnold.
Just take it easy.
I'm going to call Dr. Fordham and tell him what happened.
He'll have something else we can use.
So that's the bad news, doctor.
Stumpy says it's the best candy they ever ate.
Oh, that's funny, Bill.
Did they really eat the mothballs?
Frankly, I don't know.
I rather doubt it.
Say, Bill, I'm driving down my car right away.
I'll bring some chemicals with me.
Oh, that's fine.
We can pick up the chemicals if you wish.
Oh, I'd rather bring them along, Bill.
I'm intensely interested in this problem.
I'll be there in a couple of hours.
Okay, doctor.
We'll be waiting.
Goodbye.
Now what, Bill?
Let's get a bite to eat and then we'll drive back to the Fleming's home.
Dr. Fordham will be here in a couple of hours.
Ah, he better have good idea this time or Arnold will get plenty mad.
How do you think the skunks feel?
Ever had somebody try to evict you?
Hell, no, which is worse, get this skunk smell all over you,
drowning in your own sweat from wearing all this rubber clothing.
I feel like I've been in a shower bath.
There ain't plenty of hot inside rubber gear, all right.
Well, Dr. Fordham, we've got the bags of chemicals placed under the house.
We put them in the same place as we put the mothballs.
Well, that's fine, Bill.
Chemicals will probably activate the mothballs as well as generate their own gases.
We might as well go home for the night.
Nothing's going to happen till morning.
I sure hope this works, Dr. Fordham.
I'm getting mighty short of patience.
Can't make any promises, Mr. Fleming.
I'm not a specialist at driving out skunks, you know.
Why don't you charge them rent?
Look at that.
What old time if I could get clothes and up to collect.
That's right, sonny.
These skunks are getting more attention than any of them ever got in history.
Uh-oh, Arnold, wait for us.
He might be mad.
I assume the chemicals aren't doing their job.
Dr. Fordham, what are you trying to do to me?
I'm trying to get rid of the pests under your house, Mr. Fleming.
Well, that's great.
All the neighbors are complaining of the odor.
From the skunks?
No, from the chemicals.
Oh, get away from that.
Well, you see what I mean?
Smell what you mean, sonny.
I guess the skunks are dead by now.
Dead?
Well, them there crinnies probably knocked themselves out trying to outsmell the smell
that's coming from the chemicals.
That's the worst smell I ever smelled.
Why the use?
I know.
You fellows have some sense of humor.
I'm sorry, Arnold.
I know you're in trouble.
Let's get our gear on, fellas, and take the chemicals out.
You can throw them into the lake.
It'll dissipate the odor.
You'll kill the fish.
No, it won't, Arnold.
That stuff's only good for getting rid of people.
It won't bother fish or skunks.
I'm sorry it didn't work, Mr. Fleming.
Well, that's all right, doctor.
You tried your best.
I think I know what'll work for sure.
What's that pill?
We'll build a wire mesh fence around the bottom of the house and leave only one opening.
Outside the opening, we'll put food and water.
They'll come out when they're hungry and thirsty enough.
Sounds like a good idea, Bill.
Let's get the material and go to work.
I think that there, boss, of ours, is a good idea here.
Even a polecat gets hungry and thirsty.
I believe this is a workable plan, too, old timer.
Here comes Bill.
He and Dr. Fordham must be finished on the other side of the house.
That's good enough, fellas.
I want to leave a big opening for them to get out.
Maybe they go back under house if they get food and water.
We'll make a gate and drop it on a rope and pulley after they go for the food.
Oh, that'll do it.
If you leave the wire mesh around the house, Mr. Fleming, no animals can get underneath it.
That's right, doctor.
Let's get the bait set and the gate up, fellas.
We do right away, Bill.
Aaron told me that you've got the right idea now.
You start to make them rascals move.
I'll tell you better two or three days from now.
By the now, we'll be ready to see what happens.
It'll soon be dark, Bill.
How do you plan to split up the watches?
I'll take the first watch, and Gray Wolf the second, and you the third.
I'll take a turn setting up.
I will too, Bill. Why should we sleep when you fellas are watching?
Okay, this'll make it easier.
Well, let's hit the hay, fellas.
If your body don't need the rest, your patience will.
This is going to be a long wait.
Bill, 24 hours have gone by and nothing's happened.
How long can they hold out? No food, no water?
Well, they've probably still got some mothballs left to eat,
and they've gnawed through the water pipe.
Oh, they can't go too much longer without food and water.
Well, it better happen soon, because my patience is getting mighty thin.
Bill, I've given you a chance long enough.
Now, I'm going to do things my way.
I'll get those skunks out of there.
Arnold, where are you going? To get my shotgun.
Oh, don't be foolish, man. Wait a little longer.
They can't live in there more than the rest of the day without food and water.
Wait, wait, wait. That's all you can say?
Well, I'm through waiting, you hear?
Look, fellows, there come skunks now.
Bill, what do you know?
Here comes Pa and Ma and the three little skunks.
Let them eat and drink, fellows.
Don't scare them off until they've had their fill.
All right, drop the gates, Dumby.
Rouse middlm, fellows.
Keep going, Arnold!
There they go, right for the wood.
They're out here!
What's all the yelling about?
You missed it, Arnold. The skunks came out and they're gone.
Yahoo! Now Pa and Ma are flammin' and the two little flammins can move in.
How are you feeling now, Arnold?
I'm feeling mighty fine, Bill.
Thanks for all you and your rangers did for us.
Oh, forget it, Arnold. We're glad to help.
Uh-oh, here comes the real estate agent.
Better control yourself, Arnold.
Hello, Mr. Fleming, rangers.
Hello, Mr. Sims.
What do you want, Mr. Sims?
I'd like to buy your house, Mr. Fleming.
I'll give you $1,000 more than you paid for it.
Why, you saw it off, Groundhog. I wouldn't sell my property to you.
Stop it easy, Arnold. He's gone.
Look at him take off down the road, would you?
That's right, Stumpy. He got the same thing the skunks got. Eviction.
You said it, Sonny. Maybe we should have kept the poor cats in a bag so that he could take them home with him.
Maybe so, Stumpy. Well, the skunk family moved after they'd given everybody a bad time.
Or I should say a smelly time.
You know, rangers could have shot or trapped the animals, but they didn't like to operate that way.
Only as a last resort.
Rangers like to treat animals the way we'd want to be treated if we were in the same spot.
We'll see you next week for more Adventure with Ranger Bill!