WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:05.760 The next hour and 30 minutes this program will present in person such bright stars as 00:06.280 --> 00:07.760 Louis Armstrong 00:07.760 --> 00:09.520 Bob Holt 00:09.520 --> 00:11.080 Deborah Carr 00:11.080 --> 00:13.080 Frankie Lane Gary Lewis 00:13.600 --> 00:14.960 Dean Martin 00:14.960 --> 00:34.000 Dolly McGuire, Jimmy Wallington, Meredith Wilson and my name darlings is Tallulah Banks 00:34.000 --> 00:50.800 The national broadcasting company presents The Big Show 00:50.800 --> 00:56.480 The Big Show 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world 00:56.480 --> 01:02.480 brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All Star 01:02.480 --> 01:09.440 Festival and here is your hostess the glamorous unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead 01:24.960 --> 01:31.120 Well darlings here we are with The Big Show this week in Los Angeles, Los Angeles the city of the 01:31.120 --> 01:42.960 angels or is it Los Anglers the city of the angles? Well to be safe I'll call it LA lousy with ashes 01:46.560 --> 01:52.960 How did a whip get in there? And what a plane trip from New York darlings we worried all the way 01:52.960 --> 01:56.880 when we left New York we were worried about the weather because all we could see was rain 01:56.880 --> 02:02.000 when we got to Chicago we worried because all we could see was snow but when we got to lovely 02:02.000 --> 02:05.680 California we stopped worrying because we couldn't see the weather at all 02:08.800 --> 02:13.680 smog you know. Of course you know what smog is don't you? Well Bob Hope 02:13.680 --> 02:28.800 Thank you. Smog smog is nature's protection against the glare of Crosby's shirts 02:31.200 --> 02:35.600 or smog is the stuff they invented to protect the oranges from the smudge pots or 02:35.600 --> 02:44.080 just a moment darling. La Brea carpets, Madman Muntz, Mulholland Drive, Wilshire Bus and 02:44.080 --> 02:51.520 Hollywood and Vine. What's all that darling? I just wanted to get all your local jokes out of the way 02:51.520 --> 03:01.200 so we couldn't clutter up the rest of The Big Show. Well you left out Anaheim Azuz and Cucamonga 03:01.200 --> 03:07.600 We don't mention them on this network. Oh I see. 03:10.880 --> 03:17.680 You mean on account of JB? That's exactly what I mean darling. What have you got against Joan Blondell? 03:19.840 --> 03:24.480 I am not referring to Joan Blondell it just happens to be a name I'd rather not mention on 03:24.480 --> 03:30.480 the show. Now Bob what have you been doing lately? JB a name you can't mention in the show. Oh I know 03:30.480 --> 03:40.000 isn't that stupid on me of course. Jenny Bavis. No. 03:48.400 --> 03:54.560 Oh Jack Boor of course. Look, I'll tell you why I came over here besides grabbing a little loot. I 03:54.560 --> 03:59.120 want you to do a guest shot on my radio show. Oh darling do you have a radio show of your own? 03:59.120 --> 04:01.840 Who's the mistress of ceremonies on your show? 04:09.120 --> 04:11.440 Nobody who's the mistress of ceremonies on your show? 04:15.040 --> 04:18.560 Don't tell me you haven't heard my show back east every Tuesday at nine o'clock. 04:18.560 --> 04:23.200 I never get up that early darling. No honey you're thinking of just playing 04:23.200 --> 04:30.000 Bing. I'm on Tuesday night from nine to nine thirty. Oh only half an hour. 04:31.840 --> 04:35.440 Oh Bob I'm terribly sorry darling what do you do with the other hour? 04:37.280 --> 04:42.800 We'll wait for the laughs to come in. Look let me set you straight in this radio racket all comedy 04:42.800 --> 04:48.960 shows are a half hour. I beg your pardon my show's an hour and a half. I beg your pardon only scenes 04:48.960 --> 04:54.320 that long. How about it Sir Lou will you come out with me next Tuesday night we rehearse the 04:54.320 --> 04:58.000 script Monday morning and we rehearse with the orchestra Monday night and we have a complete 04:58.000 --> 05:02.320 dress rehearsal Tuesday afternoon we go on the air with the show Tuesday night. Oh that fits in 05:02.320 --> 05:07.280 perfectly with my plans. I'll be there at rehearsals Monday morning and with the orchestra Monday night 05:07.280 --> 05:11.840 and at the dress rehearsal Tuesday afternoon I just won't be able to make the show Tuesday night darling. 05:11.840 --> 05:20.960 Will will that be all right Bob? Oh that sounds reasonable of course if you can't be on the show 05:20.960 --> 05:25.920 I'll only pay you half the salary. Oh I don't think that's fair after all I am coming to three 05:25.920 --> 05:30.960 rehearsals and just because I missed one show which only takes a half an hour. Skip it kid skip it. 05:30.960 --> 05:33.920 For the money I'm paying you I can get Jenny Babers not to come on the show. 05:36.800 --> 05:40.800 But darling it's not my fault you would have to pick a Tuesday this week I'm 05:40.800 --> 05:45.520 doing Monday and Wednesday how did you happen to pick Tuesday right in the middle? Oh just lucky 05:45.520 --> 05:54.960 I guess look uh look Alabama let's level here are you coming on the show Tuesday or not? But Bob if 05:54.960 --> 05:58.640 I'm going on your show what do you want me to do on it? Well you'll do what all my guests do. 05:59.440 --> 06:00.880 But I never had four sons. 06:00.880 --> 06:07.680 Well what can you do? 06:13.680 --> 06:17.680 Wait a minute no that's not supposed to tie in you. 06:19.920 --> 06:22.400 I promised you I wouldn't read it that way I didn't do it honest. 06:23.840 --> 06:26.800 Tell yourself. Well what can you do? I can't. 06:26.800 --> 06:30.720 Sing it's just as funny the second time. 06:32.880 --> 06:35.360 Let's go let's go Chaloo they're giving us a finger go ahead watch that. 06:37.120 --> 06:42.640 I need to wind up you know all the things. But of course I'll have to bring my own accompanist. 06:43.200 --> 06:46.400 What what'd you say? I said of course I'll have to bring my own accompanist. I haven't got that where is that? 06:48.080 --> 06:52.400 Okay who is he? Well he just happens to be Meredith Wilson and his 47 piece orchestra 06:52.400 --> 06:57.200 and chorus. I can't sing unless they accompany me. Oh you have a special orchestra that plays flat? 07:01.680 --> 07:07.280 They do not. Now you listen to Meredith Wilson and his big show orchestra and chorus in a 07:07.280 --> 07:22.880 brilliant rhythmic arrangement of Orange Colored Sky. 07:37.280 --> 07:44.880 Came by 07:44.880 --> 07:54.480 Orange Colored Sky. 07:54.480 --> 08:02.080 One look and I yelled timber watch out for blind glass 08:04.080 --> 08:12.080 Then the sea coming up the pond somehow I went into a spin and I turned and I shot I've been hit this is it this is it 08:12.080 --> 08:20.080 I was walking along minding my business when love came and hit me in the eye 08:20.080 --> 08:27.680 I'm out of an orange colored sky 08:50.080 --> 08:57.680 I'm out of an orange colored sky 08:57.680 --> 09:05.680 I'm out of an orange colored sky 09:05.680 --> 09:13.680 I'm out of an orange colored sky 09:13.680 --> 09:37.680 I've been hit this is it this is it I see it I was walking down the street the birds were singing kind of sweet I didn't have a single care my heart was freer than the air and then a flash bam alakazam out of an orange colored purple sky pretty green folk is out of sky 09:37.680 --> 09:45.680 flash bam alakazam and good bye 09:55.680 --> 10:02.480 Well, Bob, that's the accompaniment I want to use when I sing on your program. You see, Meredith keeps me on key. 10:02.480 --> 10:05.680 Baby, your voice should be kept under lock and key. 10:05.680 --> 10:09.680 What's the matter, Miss Bankhead? Didn't you like my number? 10:09.680 --> 10:11.680 What's your problem, Meredith Wilson? 10:15.680 --> 10:19.680 I only said, uh, didn't you like my orchestra number, Miss Bankhead? 10:19.680 --> 10:23.680 Of course, darling. Now look here, Bob, if you're implying that my voice is bad. 10:23.680 --> 10:27.680 Now, wait a minute, I'm no music critic. Don't start sending me any letters. 10:27.680 --> 10:35.680 Personally, I'd rather write than be president. 10:35.680 --> 10:43.680 Well, Miss Bankhead. Wait, this is creeping up. Wait a minute. 10:43.680 --> 10:51.680 Now, I want to say to Miss Bankhead, when I finished my number, you usually say that was delightful, Meredith, or charming. 10:51.680 --> 10:53.680 That was delightful, Meredith, or charming. 10:53.680 --> 10:59.680 Bob, if you want me on your show, I'm going to sing, and the song will be, 10:59.680 --> 11:09.680 Give my regards to Broadway, remember me to Herald Square, tell all the gang on 42nd Street that I will soon be there. 11:09.680 --> 11:11.680 Hey, Rivet voice, you're tearing up 42nd Street. 11:13.680 --> 11:19.680 I could have played Give my regards to Broadway if you'd asked me to, Miss Bankhead. I have it in all the keys you sing it in. 11:19.680 --> 11:27.680 That's A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. When she just sang it, it sounded more like H. 11:30.680 --> 11:35.680 Don't pay any attention to him, darling. 11:35.680 --> 11:37.680 How can I? I haven't even met him. 11:37.680 --> 11:42.680 Oh, I beg your pardon, Meredith, darling. This is Bob Hope. Bob, this is Meredith Wilson, darling. 11:42.680 --> 11:44.680 Glad to know you, darling. 11:44.680 --> 11:56.680 Gee, Mr. Hope. Mr. Hope, this is really a happy moment. 11:56.680 --> 11:58.680 For whom? 11:58.680 --> 12:04.680 I've always been one of your greatest admirers, Mr. Hope. I used to see all your pictures back in Mason City. 12:04.680 --> 12:08.680 I was born there, you know. That's my hometown, Mason City, Iowa. 12:08.680 --> 12:18.680 Meredith, you are not going to tell one of those repugnant stories about that time. That obscure little hamlet of yours, are you? 12:18.680 --> 12:30.680 Oh, glad you asked me. Well, sir, Miss Bankhead, I used to see every one of Mr. Hope's pictures back in Mason City, Iowa. 12:30.680 --> 12:33.680 Well, I remember going to the movie one night and I had to take standing room. 12:33.680 --> 12:35.680 I know, boy. My pictures sell out all over. 12:35.680 --> 12:40.680 No, it wasn't that. I had a sacrilege. I had to stand up. 12:40.680 --> 12:43.680 Dr. Frisbee, he's the drugist there. 12:43.680 --> 12:45.680 You think he can help that? 12:45.680 --> 12:55.680 I went there to the drugist, but he's closed up, so I went to the bicycle shop and they taped me up with that black tape they put on bicycle handles. 12:55.680 --> 12:57.680 Well, they tape up seats with that stuff, too. 12:57.680 --> 13:00.680 Yeah, that's what they did. 13:00.680 --> 13:07.680 Well, sir, I stood up all through that picture laughing and scratching. 13:07.680 --> 13:14.680 Look, itchy. How much more is there to this nauseating little thing? 13:14.680 --> 13:21.680 Well, that's about all there is, except that when they took that tape off, wow, I've still got the scars. 13:21.680 --> 13:22.680 Would you like to see them, Mr. Hope? 13:22.680 --> 13:26.680 No, no. I'll wait till they come to my neighborhood movie. 13:26.680 --> 13:29.680 Meredith, if you're quite finished with that black tape... 13:29.680 --> 13:32.680 Hey, look at the size of that orchestra. Hi, fellas. 13:32.680 --> 13:34.680 Hey, look, it's still here. 13:34.680 --> 13:35.680 Yeah. 13:35.680 --> 13:45.680 Applause 13:45.680 --> 13:49.680 Hey, go right on, fellas. Don't let me stop the show. I'm just cutting across from my studio. 13:49.680 --> 13:53.680 Hey, what a musical aggravation. 13:53.680 --> 13:58.680 Every musician I ever fired is in that orchestra. 13:58.680 --> 14:02.680 That's a bad violin section. Who's got the Rosin concession there? 14:02.680 --> 14:07.680 Mr. Harris, I don't know how you managed to stagger into this studio, 14:07.680 --> 14:11.680 but if you don't crawl out before I count to one, 14:11.680 --> 14:15.680 which I understand is as high as you can count, 14:15.680 --> 14:18.680 I will have you forcibly ejected. 14:18.680 --> 14:25.680 Ejected? Well, push, pull, and click, click. 14:25.680 --> 14:28.680 Hey, Bob. Hey, Robert. What are you doing on this program? 14:28.680 --> 14:39.680 Mostly straight lines. 14:39.680 --> 14:48.680 Hey, Bob. Hey, Robert. Who's the base tomato? 14:48.680 --> 14:51.680 At least tomato's going to be a surprise. It's a Tallulah bankhead. 14:51.680 --> 14:53.680 That's Tallulah bankhead? 14:53.680 --> 14:55.680 Yeah, that's what you like about the South. 14:55.680 --> 15:00.680 Well, corn might poon if it ain't a Launceman. 15:00.680 --> 15:06.680 And what carpet bag did you creep out of, Mr. Harris? 15:06.680 --> 15:10.680 Baby, don't fight me. I'm filthy. 15:10.680 --> 15:20.680 I don't care what state your clothes are in. 15:20.680 --> 15:25.680 That thing you're wearing could stand to retread, too, girl. 15:25.680 --> 15:27.680 Well, the war between two states. 15:27.680 --> 15:31.680 You know how cleverly they set this thing up so that every time I'm about to sit down, 15:31.680 --> 15:33.680 I have a line to speak? 15:33.680 --> 15:36.680 I have understood you, yes, I do. 15:36.680 --> 15:42.680 Luckily, my bicycle seat is taped and I can't sit down anyway. 15:42.680 --> 15:44.680 Hey, Meredith. I didn't see you. 15:44.680 --> 15:45.680 Hi, Phil. 15:45.680 --> 15:48.680 Well, old Meredith, you still playing that long hair stuff? 15:48.680 --> 15:52.680 Yep. You still playing that curly hair stuff? 15:52.680 --> 15:55.680 Sharp as a marble. 15:55.680 --> 15:58.680 By the way, Meredith, we were talking about you at the Musician's Union the other night 15:58.680 --> 16:01.680 and some of the boys think that you're kind of eccentric. 16:01.680 --> 16:05.680 They heard through the Hollywood and Grapevine that you read music. 16:05.680 --> 16:12.680 Now, I'm a committee of one to find out, are you now or have you ever been a reader of music? 16:12.680 --> 16:15.680 Well, yeah, I read music. Don't you? 16:15.680 --> 16:22.680 Well, once in a while when I'm sitting under the dryer. 16:22.680 --> 16:28.680 But it's the same old story, Meredith. Do la so fa mi re, no action. 16:28.680 --> 16:31.680 That kind of stuff went out with the three B's, Bach, Beethoven, and Benny. 16:31.680 --> 16:33.680 How dare you, Mr. Harris. 16:33.680 --> 16:36.680 What do you got against Benny Goodman? He's the king. 16:36.680 --> 16:40.680 I might even say he's the thing. 16:40.680 --> 16:41.680 He's the what? 16:41.680 --> 16:43.680 Hey, don't tell me you ain't heard of the thing. 16:43.680 --> 16:49.680 No, this girl don't know about the thing. 16:49.680 --> 16:51.680 They know what it is. Well, I got to go, kids. 16:51.680 --> 16:55.680 Hey, Robert, how about you and the missus and me and Alice stepping out tonight after the show? 16:55.680 --> 16:57.680 Oh, sure, Phil. By the way, how is Alice? 16:57.680 --> 16:59.680 Just left her a couple of minutes ago. She was in the pink. 16:59.680 --> 17:06.680 Well, have her slip into some clothes and we'll go out. 17:06.680 --> 17:09.680 Oh, Robert, gee, I wish I'd have said that. I could use that on my show today. 17:09.680 --> 17:20.680 You will. 17:20.680 --> 17:24.680 Garb, Garb, what was that thing? 17:24.680 --> 17:29.680 It's not that thing. It's the thing. It's a piece of music that can only be written by a guy who can't read music. 17:29.680 --> 17:32.680 Meredith, have you heard of this thing, the thing? 17:32.680 --> 17:35.680 Oh, sure. It's one of those tunes that don't make any sense. 17:35.680 --> 17:39.680 You have to have them every once in a while. Like, I remember back in Mason City, Iowa... 17:39.680 --> 17:45.680 Oh, dear. Meredith, we're not going on tour. It was that one night stand again. 17:45.680 --> 17:50.680 Well, I was just talking about things like the thing, like we used to have. You remember yesterday, we had no bananas? 17:50.680 --> 17:53.680 That was before my time, darling. 17:53.680 --> 18:02.680 Your time was before bananas. 18:02.680 --> 18:07.680 I know everybody used to sing that song. I knew it so well that I could sing it backwards. 18:07.680 --> 18:09.680 That should be very interesting. 18:09.680 --> 18:23.680 Oh, it is. It goes, today bananas, no have we, bananas, no have we, yes. 18:23.680 --> 18:25.680 And that's the thing. 18:25.680 --> 18:35.680 Oh, no, the thing came later. First we had this. 18:35.680 --> 18:40.680 We had no bananas, we had no bananas today. 18:40.680 --> 18:59.680 We swinged beans and onions, we brought you some chadons and all kinds of fruit. And today we have an old fashion tomorrow, Long Island for Donald. 18:59.680 --> 19:06.680 We had no bananas, we had no bananas today. 19:06.680 --> 19:11.680 And then we had another one. This was really the thing, called Three Little Fishes. 19:11.680 --> 19:17.680 Down in the meadow in the inky-peety-doo, we were the pissy-quim, mama-fissy-doo. 19:17.680 --> 19:23.680 We went to mama-fissy-quim, pissy-quim, and he cramped and he cramped all over the dam. 19:23.680 --> 19:39.680 Oh, boo-boo did him down in one, boo-boo did him down in one, boo-boo did him down in one, and he cramped and he cramped all over the dam. 19:39.680 --> 19:43.680 And then came the hot-set salt-pot. 19:43.680 --> 20:11.680 Hot-set, hot-set ralt. Hot-set ralt. Hot-set ralt's another ill rot and a brawler's brawler's sue. Hot-set ralt's another ill rot and a brawler's sue. 20:11.680 --> 20:22.680 Hot-set ralt's another ill rot and a brawler's sue. Hot-set ralt's another ill rot and a brawler's sue. 20:22.680 --> 20:23.680 But what about the frame? 20:23.680 --> 20:29.680 We got that too. Here, be my guest, Miss Bankhead. Here's a copy of the music. Just read that lyric. 20:29.680 --> 20:39.680 While I was walking down the beach one bright and sunny day, I saw a great big wooden box, all floating in the bay. 20:39.680 --> 20:49.680 I pulled it in and opened it up, and much to my surprise, I discovered it right before my eyes. 20:49.680 --> 20:57.680 Oh, I discovered it right before my eyes. 20:57.680 --> 21:05.680 I turned around and got right out to running for my life, and then I took it home with me to give it to my wife. 21:05.680 --> 21:12.680 Now this is what she honored at me as I walked in the door. Oh, get out of here with that, and don't come back no more. 21:12.680 --> 21:20.680 Oh, get out of here with that, and don't come back no more. 21:20.680 --> 21:27.680 The moral of the story is that you're out on the beach, and you should see a great big box of nips within your reach. 21:27.680 --> 21:37.680 Don't ever stop to open it up. That's my advice to you, because you'll never get rid of the nips. No matter what you do, oh, you'll never get rid of the nips. 21:37.680 --> 22:02.680 No matter what you do. 22:02.680 --> 22:10.680 All right, now does that answer your question, Miss Bankhead? Well, darling, I can't say very much for the melody, but I must admit the lyric was quite dull. 22:10.680 --> 22:21.680 You know what I like, Meredith? That hot horn in your band. He plays a lot of trumpet. Why, that's Louis Armstrong. 22:21.680 --> 22:29.680 Louis, Louis, darling, what are you doing in the office? Come over here. Hello, Tallulah. Louis, how are you? Oh, I want you to meet Bob Hope. 22:29.680 --> 22:37.680 Oh, I know this cat, man. He's gone. 22:37.680 --> 22:45.680 You said it, Louis. I've been gone for about eight pages now. Tell me, L.A., you playing that trumpet around L.A.? 22:45.680 --> 22:54.680 No, B.H., I've been up in Las-Lily-V. 22:54.680 --> 22:58.680 Oh, Las Vegas, huh? Yeah, man. Well, how'd you make up that L.V., L.A.? 22:58.680 --> 23:06.680 Okay. Where'd you up there, B.H.? How'd you make out? P.U. 23:06.680 --> 23:13.680 What happened, B.H.? Ah, the roulette wheel. I went for a G. You see L.A.? Oh, yeah. 23:13.680 --> 23:19.680 Are you gentlemen making your initial appearance on radio? 23:19.680 --> 23:23.680 Louis, I was hoping you'd mention that article I wrote about you for Flair magazine. You see it? 23:23.680 --> 23:29.680 Oh, I did, Tallulah. I thought it was very err... 23:29.680 --> 23:35.680 L.A. went over that word a hundred times. I told you it was erudite. 23:35.680 --> 23:41.680 Yeah, oh, I think that's the word. Thanks, Louis, sweet of you to say that, Bob. 23:41.680 --> 23:50.680 Did you read the article I wrote on Louis Armstrong? Yes, and I thought it was err... err... err... errwick. 23:50.680 --> 23:51.920 That's the way it is. 23:51.920 --> 23:55.280 You're just joking, I know. 23:55.280 --> 23:57.660 Oh, Louis, you are my favorite musician. 23:57.660 --> 23:58.500 Thank you, Tallulah. 23:58.500 --> 24:00.120 And Bob, you're my favorite comedian. 24:00.120 --> 24:01.960 Thanks, Tallulah. 24:01.960 --> 24:02.800 Well... 24:02.800 --> 24:07.800 Hasn't one of you gallant gentlemen anything to add? 24:09.060 --> 24:11.240 Oh sure, may I return the compliment, Tallulah, 24:11.240 --> 24:13.440 and say that Louis is my favorite musician. 24:14.600 --> 24:17.040 Thanks, Bob, and you're my favorite comedian. 24:17.040 --> 24:20.680 Boys, shall we go around once more? 24:20.680 --> 24:25.680 Oh sure, Tallulah, I'm your favorite comedian. 24:27.380 --> 24:29.380 And I'm your favorite musician. 24:38.660 --> 24:40.660 This is fun, let's play it again. 24:43.460 --> 24:44.660 This time for money. 24:44.660 --> 24:45.900 This time for money. 24:45.900 --> 24:48.600 If anybody's gonna play anything, 24:48.600 --> 24:51.000 Louis is going to play his fabulous song. 24:51.000 --> 24:52.280 How about it, Louis? 24:52.280 --> 24:54.040 That's what I came here for. 24:54.040 --> 24:56.180 Ladies and gentlemen, a real treat. 24:56.180 --> 24:58.880 Louis Armstrong with Mary Elizabeth's orchestra 24:58.880 --> 25:01.080 in Phil Moore's brilliant arrangement 25:01.080 --> 25:03.620 of a song I know you all want to hear, 25:03.620 --> 25:04.820 Ain't Misbehavin'. 25:04.820 --> 25:07.820 ["Ain't Misbehavin'"] 25:12.200 --> 25:13.900 No wonder, Tallulah. 25:13.900 --> 25:15.660 All by myself. 25:15.660 --> 25:19.360 No wonder why I'm happy on the shelf. 25:19.360 --> 25:22.740 Misbehavin', saved my life. 25:22.740 --> 25:24.700 Oh baby, baby, baby. 25:24.700 --> 25:25.700 Baby, baby. 25:26.580 --> 25:30.140 No more Satan, the one in love. 25:30.140 --> 25:33.640 Too dirty, even a beginner. 25:33.640 --> 25:35.420 Misbehavin', oh baby. 25:36.920 --> 25:38.760 I'm just a baby, baby. 25:38.760 --> 25:41.760 Like Jack Hunter in the corner. 25:43.760 --> 25:46.760 Don't go nowhere and I don't care. 25:47.740 --> 25:50.540 All your kids went really far. 25:51.540 --> 25:54.540 Believe me, I don't stay out late. 25:56.240 --> 25:58.480 Don't get a go on my body. 25:58.480 --> 26:08.480 On my body, me and Mary Elizabeth. 26:28.480 --> 26:31.480 ["Ain't Misbehavin'"] 26:58.480 --> 27:01.480 ["Ain't Misbehavin'"] 27:01.480 --> 27:18.480 ["Ain't Misbehavin'"] 27:18.480 --> 27:32.480 ["Ain't Misbehavin'"] 27:32.480 --> 27:34.980 That was a great as ever fact note. 27:34.980 --> 27:36.980 Louis, you know what my ambition is? 27:36.980 --> 27:39.820 I want somebody to make a recording with you. 27:39.820 --> 27:41.020 Someday. 27:41.020 --> 27:42.020 Well, Ron. 27:42.020 --> 27:43.020 Pardon, darling. 27:43.020 --> 27:44.360 Press on, darling. 27:44.360 --> 27:45.360 Well, uh. 27:45.360 --> 27:47.740 I want someday to make a recording with you, Louis. 27:47.740 --> 27:50.740 Well, whatever you got against me, too, Louis. 27:51.740 --> 27:53.740 Nah, just a minute, Armstrong. 27:53.740 --> 27:55.240 I sing, you know. 27:55.240 --> 27:57.240 Oh yeah, I heard about you singin'. 27:57.240 --> 27:59.240 Oh, you heard about it really well. 27:59.240 --> 28:04.240 I was standin' on Broadway and a man came up and gave me your regard. 28:08.240 --> 28:10.240 Must have been one of those Herald Squares. 28:10.240 --> 28:12.240 Look, too low. 28:13.240 --> 28:17.240 If you want to come on my program and sing, this might be a good time to show what you can do. 28:17.240 --> 28:18.240 Louis, how about it? 28:18.240 --> 28:20.240 Should you improvise a little something for Tousseltop? 28:20.240 --> 28:21.240 Anything you like. 28:21.240 --> 28:22.740 Okay, baby, let's hear somethin'. 28:22.740 --> 28:24.740 If you're gonna audition, let's do it now. 28:24.740 --> 28:26.740 I don't want you to louse up my show. 28:26.740 --> 28:28.740 Me audition? 28:28.740 --> 28:30.740 Me Cleveland Indian. 28:33.740 --> 28:35.740 Good day, darling, I'm not prepared. 28:35.740 --> 28:37.740 Oh, you didn't bring your voice with you, huh? 28:37.740 --> 28:38.740 So much to better. 28:38.740 --> 28:39.740 Come on, I'll help you out. 28:39.740 --> 28:40.740 Oh, no, Bob, no, no. 28:40.740 --> 28:41.740 Oh, come on, let's make her sing. 28:41.740 --> 28:42.740 How about it, folks? 28:42.740 --> 28:50.740 Well, if nobody wants to listen to her, I... 28:50.740 --> 28:54.740 Now, just a censored, censored minute, Hope. 28:54.740 --> 28:56.740 If they want to hear me sing, I'll sing. 28:56.740 --> 28:59.740 And we'll leave it to the audience whether I sing on your show or not. 28:59.740 --> 29:00.740 Okay, anyone else? 29:00.740 --> 29:02.740 Last chance, sedatives, sleeping pills, revolvers. 29:04.740 --> 29:05.740 Yes, ma'am, we have earplugs. 29:05.740 --> 29:06.740 No, madam, only two to a customer. 29:06.740 --> 29:08.740 What do you mean you need three? 29:08.740 --> 29:12.740 Louis, you'll need a couple of those earplugs. 29:12.740 --> 29:15.740 I'll never need a couple of those earplugs on me today. 29:15.740 --> 29:18.740 Well, I'm certainly not going to listen to this by myself. 29:18.740 --> 29:19.740 Give me a couple, too. 29:19.740 --> 29:20.740 Okay, Louis, let's hear it. 29:20.740 --> 29:22.740 I'll start you off, too, Lou. 29:23.740 --> 29:26.740 This is a lot of fun, darlings, but I have to ring my chimes. 29:26.740 --> 29:29.740 This is NBC, the national broadcasting station. 29:29.740 --> 29:31.740 I'm Ellen Carly, babe. 29:31.740 --> 29:39.740 We're off the air, yes. 29:53.740 --> 29:54.740 The big show. 29:54.740 --> 29:57.740 This is the national broadcasting company Sunday Extravaganza 29:57.740 --> 30:00.740 with the most scintillating personalities in show business. 30:00.740 --> 30:02.740 The big show. 30:02.740 --> 30:05.740 The Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival 30:05.740 --> 30:07.740 is brought to you by your local Ford dealer, 30:07.740 --> 30:10.740 who is now displaying the new 1951 Ford, 30:10.740 --> 30:12.740 the car that's built for the years ahead, 30:12.740 --> 30:15.740 by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, 30:15.740 --> 30:17.740 first in recorded music, first in television, 30:17.740 --> 30:21.740 by Chesterfield, the only cigarette that combines mildness 30:21.740 --> 30:23.740 with no unpleasant aftertaste, 30:23.740 --> 30:25.740 the cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, 30:25.740 --> 30:27.740 and by the makers of Anison, 30:27.740 --> 30:30.740 the fast relief from pain of headache, ureitis, and uralgia. 30:30.740 --> 30:34.740 The big stars on this program are Louis Armstrong, Bob Hope, 30:34.740 --> 30:37.740 Deborah Carr, Frankie Lane, Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, 30:37.740 --> 30:41.740 Dorothy McGuire, Meredith Wilson, and his big show orchestra and chorus, 30:41.740 --> 31:00.740 and every week your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Tallulah Bankhead. 31:00.740 --> 31:05.740 Yes, darlings, this is Tallulah broadcasting from Hollywood, Bankhead, 31:05.740 --> 31:10.740 telling you that if you don't listen to the big show, you're a big smoe. 31:10.740 --> 31:15.740 Or if you're in a stew and you don't know what to do, listen to Tallulah, 31:15.740 --> 31:19.740 and you'll never be blue. 31:19.740 --> 31:22.740 So new! 31:22.740 --> 31:30.740 Wow! Tallulah Bankhead, girl-burl. 31:30.740 --> 31:40.740 Well, Bob Hope. 31:40.740 --> 31:41.740 Thank you, Tallulah. 31:41.740 --> 31:44.740 I'm happy to be here with you on your second Hollywood version of the big show. 31:44.740 --> 31:45.740 Oh, it's nice having you, darling. 31:45.740 --> 31:47.740 Nice to catch you on the ground for a change. 31:47.740 --> 31:51.740 Yes. I have been traveling a lot lately, but I've got to stop it. 31:51.740 --> 31:59.740 I have so many labels on my trunks, the laundry won't take them anymore. 31:59.740 --> 32:04.740 And Bob, darling, I know the sacrifice you're making giving up the Los Angeles Rams-Chicago Bears 32:04.740 --> 32:06.740 championship game at the Coliseum. 32:06.740 --> 32:08.740 You're not kidding, but that's all right. I've got to keep working. 32:08.740 --> 32:17.740 After all, I'm a comedian. I have a government to support. 32:17.740 --> 32:21.740 But it's nice being here with you, Tallulah, during the Yuletide season. 32:21.740 --> 32:24.740 Of course, whenever I think of Christmas, I think of my old folks back home. 32:24.740 --> 32:27.740 Take it, Iowa. 32:27.740 --> 32:31.740 You know, the Christmas season brings out the sentiment in the body. 32:31.740 --> 32:36.740 Yes, sir. I'm the kind of guy who does a lot of traveling, but I'm like anybody else. 32:36.740 --> 32:40.740 No matter where you go, you never get very far away from that old hometown. 32:40.740 --> 32:45.740 I was reared in Cleveland. I can remember way back to the time I was a baby. 32:45.740 --> 32:52.740 I was born in a poor family. My mother couldn't even afford talcum powder. 32:52.740 --> 33:01.740 She used to turn my little body over and sprinkle it with Dutch cleanser. 33:01.740 --> 33:07.740 When I was 10 months old, I didn't know whether I was a boy or a kitchen sink. 33:07.740 --> 33:11.740 That's why at Christmas time, I like to go back to Cleveland to see my folks. 33:11.740 --> 33:13.740 And they're always happy to see me. 33:13.740 --> 33:17.740 Of course, they're just as happy getting it by mail, but I always feel... 33:17.740 --> 33:20.740 I always feel sentimental about my hometown. 33:20.740 --> 33:26.740 With all the friendly faces, the familiar buildings, Main Street, Elm Street lying parallel to it, 33:26.740 --> 33:31.740 and my Uncle Louie lying parallel to both. 33:31.740 --> 33:34.740 People said he was a drunkard, but he wasn't. 33:34.740 --> 33:37.740 He only drank a little bit to steady himself. 33:37.740 --> 33:44.740 Sometimes he got so steady he couldn't move. 33:44.740 --> 33:48.740 My family were very poor. We lived in a little shack, just two rooms and a path. 33:48.740 --> 33:50.740 But even though... 33:50.740 --> 33:57.740 ... 33:57.740 --> 33:59.740 ... 33:59.740 --> 34:00.740 You didn't hear it, huh? 34:00.740 --> 34:03.740 But even though... 34:03.740 --> 34:07.740 But even though we were poverty-stricken, I was even sophisticated as a baby. 34:07.740 --> 34:12.740 I was so high class I wouldn't suck my thumb until they put it in a cigarette holder. 34:12.740 --> 34:16.740 But my mother was one of those dear hearts and gentle people. 34:16.740 --> 34:19.740 She tried to raise us right even though we were broke. 34:19.740 --> 34:22.740 She couldn't buy us underwear, but she did the best she could. 34:22.740 --> 34:31.740 She lined us all up and painted buttons on our stomachs. 34:31.740 --> 34:33.740 She couldn't even afford to buy me a haircut. 34:33.740 --> 34:38.740 My hair was so long, until I was 19 years old, I thought I was a Saint Bernard. 34:38.740 --> 34:53.740 I found out I wasn't, just in time. 34:53.740 --> 35:01.740 I was going steady with an air dail. 35:01.740 --> 35:05.740 But what a picture comes to mind when I think of the old hometown. 35:05.740 --> 35:10.740 Old pappy walker sitting in front of the general store carving his sailboat in a bottle. 35:10.740 --> 35:15.740 I wonder if he ever got out of the bottle when the sailboat was finished. 35:15.740 --> 35:18.740 And then there was Miss Draynifor, my old teacher. 35:18.740 --> 35:22.740 I can still see her sitting in the classroom, an old lady just knitting. 35:22.740 --> 35:26.740 She was knitting an old man. 35:26.740 --> 35:30.740 On a vacation, Miss Draynifor used to go to the big city and burn the candle at both ends. 35:30.740 --> 35:40.740 For weeks after, she couldn't put on a hat or sit down. 35:40.740 --> 35:44.740 And when I think of the Yuletide season, I always think of my parents. 35:44.740 --> 35:47.740 My father was a great man and a big practical joker, too. 35:47.740 --> 35:49.740 So was my mother. 35:49.740 --> 35:51.740 They finally played a trick on each other. 35:51.740 --> 35:55.740 Me. 35:55.740 --> 35:57.740 You know, I started the first quiz show in Cleveland. 35:57.740 --> 36:01.740 When I was born, my father took one look at me and asked the doctor, what is it? 36:01.740 --> 36:03.740 The doctor answered, well, I missed that one. 36:03.740 --> 36:06.740 Can I stand by for the jackpot? 36:06.740 --> 36:09.740 Father was betting on a boy and mother was betting on a girl. 36:09.740 --> 36:17.740 But Dr. won. He had me across the board. 36:17.740 --> 36:20.740 But we were a proud family, people of the soil. 36:20.740 --> 36:24.740 We'd been farmers for generations, and everything we did was connected with the soil. 36:24.740 --> 36:29.740 In fact, we were the dirtiest family in the state. 36:29.740 --> 36:31.740 But it was a happy family. 36:31.740 --> 36:34.740 My father worshipped my mother. He got her everything. 36:34.740 --> 36:37.740 He wasn't wealthy. He was a shoplifter. 36:37.740 --> 36:48.740 When he walked out of a department store, the whole left side of the building sagged. 36:48.740 --> 36:50.740 Like all families, we were hit by the Depression. 36:50.740 --> 36:53.740 My father was hurt in the crash at 29. 36:53.740 --> 37:01.740 The runway at Minsky's collapsed on his head. 37:01.740 --> 37:04.740 Well, before I knew it was time for me to go to school, 37:04.740 --> 37:08.740 I was enrolled in a finishing school for backward children. 37:08.740 --> 37:10.740 And I did very well. 37:10.740 --> 37:15.740 I started in the eighth grade and in no time at all I was back in kindergarten. 37:15.740 --> 37:17.740 It was in the third grade that I first fell in love. 37:17.740 --> 37:20.740 I know it sounds kind of silly to be in love with a third grade, 37:20.740 --> 37:24.740 but don't forget I was 38 years old. 37:24.740 --> 37:27.740 And I'll never forget the first time I kissed my little girlfriend. 37:27.740 --> 37:29.740 She was wearing braces and I was wearing braces. 37:29.740 --> 37:32.740 And when we kissed, our braces locked. 37:32.740 --> 37:38.740 After that, we went everywhere together. 37:38.740 --> 37:41.740 Then came graduation time. With all the kids in their caps and gowns, 37:41.740 --> 37:48.740 I caused quite a sensation. My gown was strapling. 37:48.740 --> 37:52.740 I did very well in sports at school. 37:52.740 --> 37:57.740 I had a typical athlete's physique. Big chest, hard stomach. 37:57.740 --> 38:02.740 But that's all behind me now. 38:02.740 --> 38:05.740 But I used to play football when I was in school. It was part of the cure. 38:05.740 --> 38:11.740 And all of the fans around Cleveland knew my name. 38:11.740 --> 38:15.740 It was painted on my bucket. 38:15.740 --> 38:19.740 I had a very peculiar nickname. They called me Neckline Hope. 38:19.740 --> 38:24.740 I was always plunging down the middle, but never really showed anything. 38:24.740 --> 38:28.740 My first year I was disqualified from playing football for a scholastic reason. 38:28.740 --> 38:30.740 Stupidity. 38:30.740 --> 38:36.740 I thought the big nine were my toes. 38:36.740 --> 38:39.740 It was right about then that I met her. Yes, her. 38:39.740 --> 38:41.740 I never did find out what her name was. 38:41.740 --> 38:43.740 She was a vision of loveliness. 38:43.740 --> 38:51.740 She had long blonde hair and luscious red lips which she wore in a bun on the top of her head. 38:51.740 --> 38:54.740 But the best part about her was that she was tattooed. 38:54.740 --> 38:58.740 That made it nice for me because I couldn't afford a television set. 38:58.740 --> 39:01.740 We almost broke up. I'd seen the picture before. 39:01.740 --> 39:04.740 We were very much in love. 39:04.740 --> 39:07.740 She called me Baby and I called her my little pussycat. 39:07.740 --> 39:18.740 I called her pussycat because I thought she'd take the hint and shave off her whiskers. 39:18.740 --> 39:22.740 Finally came the day of our wedding. 39:22.740 --> 39:25.740 She was a sentimental girl so she got married in her grandmother's dress. 39:25.740 --> 39:30.740 She looked lovely but her poor grandmother almost froze to death. 39:30.740 --> 39:33.740 It was a lovely ceremony except for the kiss. 39:33.740 --> 39:38.740 Her nose created a suction and we had to be separated with a razor blade. 39:38.740 --> 39:40.740 Yes, we were married. 39:40.740 --> 39:43.740 And tomorrow marks our 25th anniversary. 39:43.740 --> 40:01.740 It'll be 25 years since we've talked to each other. 40:01.740 --> 40:05.740 Ladies and gentlemen, the new 1951 Ford, 40:05.740 --> 40:09.740 the car that progressive planning designed, engineered, and made come true, 40:09.740 --> 40:12.740 is at your Ford dealers now. 40:12.740 --> 40:15.740 And everything about it tells you that here is a quality car, 40:15.740 --> 40:19.740 a fine car that's built for the years ahead. 40:19.740 --> 40:22.740 When you examine the 1951 Ford, for example, 40:22.740 --> 40:26.740 take a good long look at its luxury lounge interior. 40:26.740 --> 40:30.740 You will find styling, fine coachwork, 40:30.740 --> 40:35.740 and color harmonized Ford craft fabrics that are years ahead in beauty. 40:35.740 --> 40:39.740 When you drive the new Ford, notice how the automatic ride control 40:39.740 --> 40:43.740 literally adjusts the ride to the road and makes the roughest bumps easy on you, 40:43.740 --> 40:46.740 easy on the car itself. 40:46.740 --> 40:48.740 And there's more, much, much more. 40:48.740 --> 40:52.740 In all there are 43 new look-ahead features, 40:52.740 --> 40:56.740 each designed to give you added value for the long years to come. 40:56.740 --> 41:00.740 Yes, indeed. When you see the 1951 Ford, 41:00.740 --> 41:06.740 when you drive it, you'll agree it's the finest Ford ever produced. 41:06.740 --> 41:21.740 And now, darlings, the two young Paramount stars who have taken the country by storm. 41:21.740 --> 41:25.740 The only comedy act in show business that can possibly follow Bob Hope, 41:25.740 --> 41:28.740 is the one that's been on the show for a long time. 41:28.740 --> 41:29.740 You gotta do it. 41:29.740 --> 41:34.740 Okay, thank you very much. 41:34.740 --> 41:36.740 That's very sweet of you, it's a little of bonkers. 41:36.740 --> 41:38.740 We're very happy. 41:38.740 --> 41:40.740 Very happy to be here. 41:40.740 --> 41:42.740 You've been on for over a half hour already. 41:42.740 --> 41:45.740 Wash up, get your money, and get out of here. 41:45.740 --> 41:47.740 Read your Social Security number. 41:47.740 --> 41:48.740 We'll take over now. 41:48.740 --> 41:49.740 Here we are on the big show. 41:49.740 --> 41:52.740 You know this is the day that I would love it. 41:52.740 --> 41:56.740 Hey, Jerry, crazy? 41:56.740 --> 41:57.740 What's wrong with you? 41:57.740 --> 42:00.740 You gotta conduct yourself like a gentleman on the big show. 42:00.740 --> 42:02.740 Now, don't ask me up here like you do everywhere else. 42:02.740 --> 42:04.740 Aren't you happy to be on the big show? 42:04.740 --> 42:09.740 Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. I don't like her. 42:09.740 --> 42:11.740 You don't like Miss Bankhead? 42:11.740 --> 42:19.740 Young man, means she's gonna hit me. 42:19.740 --> 42:22.740 Aw, come on, Jerry. Now, come on, let's settle down. 42:22.740 --> 42:24.740 All righty, Dean. We'll have a... 42:24.740 --> 42:27.740 All righty, Dean. 42:27.740 --> 42:29.740 No, because you said, let's settle down. 42:29.740 --> 42:31.740 We'll have a cottage smore by a water floor with roses 42:31.740 --> 42:35.740 ramling round the door and the patter of little feet across the floor. 42:35.740 --> 42:37.740 Yeah, mice. 42:37.740 --> 42:39.740 No, but Dean, I don't like it here. 42:39.740 --> 42:44.740 Come on, let's go back to the marble tournament. I'll treat. I got two aggies. 42:44.740 --> 42:45.740 Now, Jerry, you don't understand. 42:45.740 --> 42:47.740 Miss Bankhead was complimenting us by saying 42:47.740 --> 42:49.740 we were the only act who could follow Bob Hope. 42:49.740 --> 42:55.740 Why, she compliments everyone else she insults. I told you she didn't like us. 42:55.740 --> 42:56.740 Aw, but Jerry, darling. 42:56.740 --> 43:00.740 I did not come here not to be insulted. 43:00.740 --> 43:01.740 Well, dear, if you won't listen to reason, 43:01.740 --> 43:04.740 I'm going to call on your partner, Dean Martin, to sing. 43:04.740 --> 43:06.740 Well, I'd be glad to, Miss Bankhead. 43:06.740 --> 43:08.740 Ladies and gentlemen, Dean Martin will sing. 43:08.740 --> 43:14.740 Dean, she's gonna introduce you for all of his years, for all. 43:14.740 --> 43:16.740 My tongue got in the way of my eye tooth. I couldn't see what I was saying. 43:16.740 --> 43:18.740 Yeah. 43:18.740 --> 43:22.740 Dean, she's gonna introduce you for all these years we have been partners, 43:22.740 --> 43:29.740 and now you are going to let her introduce you. What are you doing to me? 43:29.740 --> 43:34.740 Miss Bankhead, would you mind if Mr. Lewis introduced me awfully? 43:34.740 --> 43:39.740 As I'm sure only he can. 43:39.740 --> 43:42.740 All right, Mr. Lewis, we'll introduce the song. What are you gonna sing, Dean? 43:42.740 --> 43:43.740 La vie en rose. 43:43.740 --> 43:44.740 You may introduce him, Jerry. 43:44.740 --> 43:47.740 Thank you, Mr. Martin. I want to introduce La vie en rose. 43:47.740 --> 43:50.740 La vie en rose is my partner, Mr. Martin. 43:50.740 --> 43:53.740 This is a very beautiful La vie en rose arranged and conducted, 43:53.740 --> 43:55.740 I should say conducted by Meredith Wilson. 43:55.740 --> 43:58.740 This is arranged by our own wonderful conductor, Mr. Dix De Beal. 43:58.740 --> 44:02.740 Dean Martin sings La vie en rose, and this is swell. 44:02.740 --> 44:18.740 Hold me close and hold me fast 44:18.740 --> 44:23.740 The magic spell you get 44:23.740 --> 44:29.740 The drizzle of love again 44:29.740 --> 44:35.740 When you kiss me, heaven sighs 44:35.740 --> 44:39.740 And the light of night 44:39.740 --> 44:46.740 I speak of your words 44:46.740 --> 44:52.740 When you press me to your heart 44:52.740 --> 45:02.740 I know where the heart, oh where the world is moving 45:02.740 --> 45:12.740 And when you speak, angels sing from above 45:12.740 --> 45:22.740 And the day words seem to turn into lost sounds 45:22.740 --> 45:28.740 You are hiding so deeply 45:28.740 --> 45:33.740 In life where we'll always be 45:33.740 --> 45:38.740 La vie en rose 45:38.740 --> 45:45.740 And when you speak, angels sing from above 45:45.740 --> 45:55.740 And the day words seem to turn into lost sounds 45:55.740 --> 46:03.740 You are hiding so deeply 46:03.740 --> 46:10.740 In life where we'll always be 46:10.740 --> 46:34.740 La vie en rose 46:34.740 --> 46:37.740 That would be mine darling, your darling darling. 46:37.740 --> 46:40.740 Darling darling darling, Dean come here. 46:40.740 --> 46:42.740 Is she for real? 46:42.740 --> 46:44.740 Don't think she makes a living. 46:44.740 --> 46:48.740 Ah Jerry, don't tell me you've never heard of Tallulah Bankhead. 46:48.740 --> 46:50.740 Jerry, I'm speaking to you. 46:50.740 --> 46:51.740 Why don't you answer me? 46:51.740 --> 46:55.740 You told me not to tell you I never heard of Tallulah Bankhead. 46:55.740 --> 46:57.740 I made a boo boo. 46:57.740 --> 46:59.740 Look Jerry, you made a double boo boo. 46:59.740 --> 47:01.740 Tallulah Bankhead is a great stage actor. 47:01.740 --> 47:03.740 Surely you saw her in Private Life. 47:03.740 --> 47:06.740 I don't butt into other people's business. 47:06.740 --> 47:08.740 No Jerry, it was a stage show. 47:08.740 --> 47:09.740 Didn't you see it? 47:09.740 --> 47:10.740 I don't remember. 47:10.740 --> 47:12.740 Why was the picture playing with it? 47:12.740 --> 47:14.740 There was no picture playing with it. 47:14.740 --> 47:16.740 Just a stage show. 47:16.740 --> 47:17.740 She's been in a lot of stage shows. 47:17.740 --> 47:19.740 She played in Rain. 47:19.740 --> 47:26.740 That's how she got so hoarse? 47:26.740 --> 47:28.740 Ah come on now Jerry. 47:28.740 --> 47:31.740 Haven't you heard of Tallulah Bankhead and the little foxes? 47:31.740 --> 47:34.740 Oh she's an animal trainer. 47:34.740 --> 47:38.740 No, no. Tallulah Bankhead in Skin of Our Teeth. 47:38.740 --> 47:39.740 Skin of Our Teeth? 47:39.740 --> 47:41.740 Oh come now Basil. 47:41.740 --> 47:42.740 This has gone far enough. 47:42.740 --> 47:44.740 Far enough to hear. 47:44.740 --> 47:45.740 Do you hear me? Do you hear me? 47:45.740 --> 47:46.740 I said far enough to hear. 47:46.740 --> 47:49.740 Dean, are you listening? 47:49.740 --> 47:50.740 Jerry, you don't seem to get the idea. 47:50.740 --> 47:53.740 Now I remember taking you to a play once. 47:53.740 --> 47:56.740 I even remember you stopped into the lobby and you got yourself a glass of orangeade. 47:56.740 --> 47:57.740 Oh yeah. 47:57.740 --> 48:03.740 I remember the orangeade and the girl with the flashlight told us we could sit down on the seats and be comfortable while we were drinking the orangeade. 48:03.740 --> 48:09.740 A fellow came out and sang something about an enchanted evening and a girl washed her hair and a bunch of sales were running after some things and a girl was saying, 48:09.740 --> 48:12.740 Happy talky talky happy talk. 48:12.740 --> 48:21.740 What you have to go through just to drink a lousy glass of orangeade. 48:21.740 --> 48:23.740 Yeah, that's the place Jerry. 48:23.740 --> 48:24.740 I went back there you know. 48:24.740 --> 48:26.740 There was such a crowd waiting I couldn't get in. 48:26.740 --> 48:30.740 I guess everybody found out they have the best orangeade in town. 48:30.740 --> 48:31.740 Now you got it that's it. 48:31.740 --> 48:32.740 Tallulah Bankhead in the theater. 48:32.740 --> 48:33.740 Oh now I know. 48:33.740 --> 48:36.740 She's the one who makes the orangeade. 48:36.740 --> 48:39.740 From this she makes a living. 48:39.740 --> 48:41.740 Ah Jerry, stop being so stupid. 48:41.740 --> 48:50.740 So how will you make a living? 48:50.740 --> 48:53.740 Now this is tougher than I thought it was going to be. 48:53.740 --> 48:55.740 Please be patient with me Dean. 48:55.740 --> 48:59.740 I've got a terrible headache. 48:59.740 --> 49:02.740 Where do you keep it? 49:02.740 --> 49:04.740 Ha ha ha ha that's very funny. 49:04.740 --> 49:07.740 You see I said I got a terrible headache and he says where do you keep it? 49:07.740 --> 49:10.740 He's making out like I haven't got a head. 49:10.740 --> 49:13.740 Joke over. 49:13.740 --> 49:15.740 You don't have to explain my joke. 49:15.740 --> 49:20.740 So Dean what are friends for? 49:20.740 --> 49:22.740 Alright come on let's get back to the theater. 49:22.740 --> 49:25.740 I'm not thirsty. 49:25.740 --> 49:27.740 Well Buzz, Buzz how's it going? 49:27.740 --> 49:29.740 Dean she's back again don't let her hit me. 49:29.740 --> 49:31.740 Why don't you stop she won't hurt you. 49:31.740 --> 49:39.740 Could I feed her? 49:39.740 --> 49:41.740 She's very friendly. 49:41.740 --> 49:44.740 Could I scratch her behind the ear? 49:44.740 --> 49:48.740 Dean tell me is he for real? 49:48.740 --> 49:49.740 I often wonder. 49:49.740 --> 49:50.740 I want to apologize Miss Bankhead. 49:50.740 --> 49:52.740 I shouldn't have been so fresh. 49:52.740 --> 49:53.740 Dean told me all about your sickness. 49:53.740 --> 49:56.740 Does it hurt much? 49:56.740 --> 49:59.740 Does what hurt much? 49:59.740 --> 50:03.740 The skin of your teeth. 50:03.740 --> 50:09.740 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 50:09.740 --> 50:14.740 Why you little half-cised half idiot half imbecile. 50:14.740 --> 50:15.740 Dean she did it. 50:15.740 --> 50:16.740 She likes us we're in. 50:16.740 --> 50:18.740 She insulted us. 50:18.740 --> 50:20.740 She didn't insult me. 50:20.740 --> 50:21.740 Dean don't worry she said half. 50:21.740 --> 50:35.740 We're partners you get half of everything I get. 50:35.740 --> 50:36.740 Say Bob, Bob Hope. 50:36.740 --> 50:39.740 What's all this I hear about giving Crosby for Christmas? 50:39.740 --> 50:41.740 Well Bing's Papa Santa Claus this year you know 50:41.740 --> 50:43.740 and a Chesterfield Christmas carton. 50:43.740 --> 50:44.740 Bob it's a very nice gift. 50:44.740 --> 50:46.740 I've already bought several. 50:46.740 --> 50:48.740 But tell me why aren't you on the Christmas carton too? 50:48.740 --> 50:51.740 Well I was supposed to be Jimmy but old sag has gotten so fleshy 50:51.740 --> 50:52.740 there just wasn't room. 50:52.740 --> 50:56.740 Seriously folks Chesterfield Christmas cartons are the best thing you could give or get 50:56.740 --> 50:59.740 because Chesterfield is the milder cigarette. 50:59.740 --> 51:01.740 And you can prove that yourself. 51:01.740 --> 51:04.740 Just make the Chesterfield mildness test by Chesterfield. 51:04.740 --> 51:07.740 Open them and enjoy that milder mellow aroma. 51:07.740 --> 51:11.740 Now light one up and you'll know Chesterfield's milder because it smokes milder. 51:11.740 --> 51:15.740 Another thing you'll notice Chesterfield leaves no unpleasant aftertaste. 51:15.740 --> 51:20.740 That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and only cigarette taste panel. 51:20.740 --> 51:24.740 So for all the smokers on your list give Crosby for Christmas. 51:24.740 --> 51:26.740 Give Christmas carton to Chesterfield. 51:26.740 --> 51:31.740 The only cigarette that combines for you mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste. 51:31.740 --> 51:38.740 Music 51:38.740 --> 51:39.740 Tallulah. 51:39.740 --> 51:40.740 Yes Dean what is it darling? 51:40.740 --> 51:42.740 My partner Jerry and I were thinking. 51:42.740 --> 51:46.740 Oh that's very funny. 51:46.740 --> 51:47.740 Let's get on with the rest of the show. 51:47.740 --> 51:50.740 Wait a minute Mrs. He didn't tell you yet. 51:50.740 --> 51:52.740 So what are you laughing for? 51:52.740 --> 51:56.740 Dean Martin has something to tell you and he is my friend and I would gladly die for him. 51:56.740 --> 51:58.740 Would I not Dean Martin die for you? 51:58.740 --> 52:02.740 Sure he would go ahead Jerry sure drop dead. 52:02.740 --> 52:06.740 I can't die today I don't feel so good. 52:06.740 --> 52:08.740 Darling stop being morbid. 52:08.740 --> 52:09.740 What were you going to say Dean? 52:09.740 --> 52:10.740 I speak. 52:10.740 --> 52:16.740 We would like to meet Mr. Bob Hope in person and make a deal with him. 52:16.740 --> 52:20.740 Do you think he'll sell us some jokes or maybe trade us some jokes? 52:20.740 --> 52:21.740 Well why don't you talk to Bob about it. 52:21.740 --> 52:24.740 Oh come on Bob darling yes the boys want to do some business with you. 52:24.740 --> 52:25.740 You know Mr. Martin? 52:25.740 --> 52:26.740 Oh sure hi Tony. 52:26.740 --> 52:27.740 And Mr. Lewis. 52:27.740 --> 52:30.740 And Mr. Lewis. 52:30.740 --> 52:37.740 Hi Joe. 52:37.740 --> 52:41.740 Hi Mort. 52:41.740 --> 52:43.740 Time out conference. 52:43.740 --> 52:47.740 Dean you think he really doesn't know us or is he making a joke? 52:47.740 --> 52:52.740 Making a joke. 52:52.740 --> 52:56.740 Darling. 52:56.740 --> 52:59.740 Mr. Hope we'd like to consummate a little deal with you. 52:59.740 --> 53:03.740 Would you sell us some jokes or maybe you'd be interested in trading a few jokes? 53:03.740 --> 53:04.740 Oh I don't get you. 53:04.740 --> 53:10.740 Well I'll give you for instance I'll give you a brand new joke I made up today out of a magazine. 53:10.740 --> 53:11.740 For one of your old jokes. 53:11.740 --> 53:12.740 Well what's the joke? 53:12.740 --> 53:13.740 A joke. 53:13.740 --> 53:18.740 You say to somebody I went to see Albert Einstein and somebody says how did you find him? 53:18.740 --> 53:23.740 And you say I pushed back his hair and there he was. 53:23.740 --> 53:25.740 Now you give me one of your old jokes. 53:25.740 --> 53:27.740 No deal. 53:27.740 --> 53:29.740 Now wait a minute Mr. Hope don't pass that joke up. 53:29.740 --> 53:32.740 You know there are two other jokes you can make out of it. 53:32.740 --> 53:34.740 Now like how did you find your steak? 53:34.740 --> 53:37.740 Oh I pushed back the potatoes and there it was. 53:37.740 --> 53:39.740 Or how did you find the west? 53:39.740 --> 53:41.740 I pushed back the onions and there it was. 53:41.740 --> 53:46.740 If anybody asks me how I found Martin Lewis I'll say pretty dumb. 53:46.740 --> 53:49.740 Alright Mr. Hope I'll make the supreme sacrifice. 53:49.740 --> 53:51.740 I got a brand new Groucho Marx joke. 53:51.740 --> 53:52.740 Really brand new? 53:52.740 --> 53:53.740 You bet your life. 53:53.740 --> 53:58.740 Okay I'll trade you even up. 53:58.740 --> 53:59.740 Did somebody fall down? 53:59.740 --> 54:01.740 What was that? 54:01.740 --> 54:02.740 Brand new? 54:02.740 --> 54:03.740 I bet your life. 54:03.740 --> 54:07.740 Well anyway okay. 54:07.740 --> 54:09.740 Somebody's wearing a neon nose here. 54:09.740 --> 54:10.740 I don't know. 54:10.740 --> 54:13.740 Say okay I'll trade you even up for a brand new Phil Harris. 54:13.740 --> 54:14.740 Alright that's a deal. 54:14.740 --> 54:15.740 Let's see it. 54:15.740 --> 54:16.740 Oh no sight unseen. 54:16.740 --> 54:17.740 Okay here you are. 54:17.740 --> 54:18.740 I got it written down here. 54:18.740 --> 54:19.740 Okay and here's yours. 54:19.740 --> 54:21.740 Wait a minute fellas you're playing without me? 54:21.740 --> 54:26.740 Who blew up the ball? 54:26.740 --> 54:27.740 So I want to trade too. 54:27.740 --> 54:28.740 I got a brand new Fred Allen. 54:28.740 --> 54:30.740 I'll trade you for that Phil Harris. 54:30.740 --> 54:31.740 That's a trade kid here you are. 54:31.740 --> 54:33.740 And here are you. 54:33.740 --> 54:35.740 Now let me see what this says. 54:35.740 --> 54:36.740 Yeah let's read them. 54:36.740 --> 54:39.740 How did you find Albert Einstein? 54:39.740 --> 54:51.740 I pushed back his hair and hair is blind. 54:51.740 --> 54:53.740 Here's a word from RCA Victor. 54:53.740 --> 54:56.740 Only six shopping days left till Christmas. 54:56.740 --> 54:58.740 But that's not bothering America's snappiest families. 54:58.740 --> 55:02.740 They need only one day to select the greatest family gift in history. 55:02.740 --> 55:06.740 An RCA Victor complete home entertainment combination. 55:06.740 --> 55:11.740 They're pooling their dreams and their money to buy the gift that keeps on giving. 55:11.740 --> 55:13.740 And giving and giving. 55:13.740 --> 55:16.740 Giving not just to one but to all. 55:16.740 --> 55:21.740 Giving not just a day but every hour, every day, every year. 55:21.740 --> 55:27.740 Giving not just RCA Victor radio or recorded music or television. 55:27.740 --> 55:30.740 But all three combined in one magnificent cabinet. 55:30.740 --> 55:34.740 Why don't you join together a degree this minute to meet each other next Monday 55:34.740 --> 55:41.740 at your RCA Victor dealers to choose your matchless RCA Victor radio phonograph television combination. 55:41.740 --> 55:45.740 You'll find it costs far less than you'd pay for each instrument separately. 55:45.740 --> 55:50.740 You'll find that your RCA Victor combination is the greatest gift each of you ever made 55:50.740 --> 55:53.740 to the year round happiness of all of us. 55:53.740 --> 56:02.740 ["RCA Victor Radio Phonograph Television Combination"] 56:02.740 --> 56:04.740 Darlings, prepare for some excitement. 56:04.740 --> 56:08.740 Appearing with us in a few minutes will be two glamorous movie stars. 56:08.740 --> 56:12.740 Members of the actress company, Deborah Carr and Dorothy McGuire. 56:12.740 --> 56:16.740 Deborah Carr can currently be seen with Stuart Granger and Richard Carlson 56:16.740 --> 56:19.740 in Metro Golden Mare's Technicolor production, King Solomon's Mind. 56:19.740 --> 56:23.740 Oh, and yes, don't think I'm forgetting another star on our show, Frankie Lane. 56:23.740 --> 56:26.740 It's just that I have a little funny way of my own to introduce them. 56:26.740 --> 56:30.740 Hey, joke. To little, how do you find Deborah Carr? 56:30.740 --> 56:32.740 Dorothy McGuire and Frankie Lane. 56:32.740 --> 56:36.740 And I say, I'll just push back my time and there they'll be. 56:36.740 --> 56:39.740 Richard NBC, the national broadcasting company. 56:39.740 --> 56:50.740 ["RCA Victor Radio Phonograph Television Combination"] 56:50.740 --> 56:55.740 Well, darlings, I suppose you've noticed something unusual about our big show today. 56:55.740 --> 56:57.740 So far, there have been no women. 56:57.740 --> 56:59.740 A present company, excepted, of course. 56:59.740 --> 57:03.740 Ha ha ha ha. 57:03.740 --> 57:07.740 But, we are just about ready to make up for it. 57:07.740 --> 57:10.740 What with Deborah Carr and Dorothy McGuire on our show. 57:10.740 --> 57:11.740 Oh, what am I doing? 57:11.740 --> 57:15.740 There's still another man whom I haven't presented and what a man. 57:15.740 --> 57:17.740 You know I'm here too, Lou. I've already been on. 57:17.740 --> 57:20.740 Oh, no. Not you, Bob. I'm talking about Frankie Lane. 57:20.740 --> 57:23.740 What's so special about him? Let's skip Lane and get to the girls. 57:23.740 --> 57:26.740 Hey, Dean, look who's sitting there. Two big movie actresses. 57:26.740 --> 57:28.740 Don't get excited, Jerry. So are we. 57:28.740 --> 57:30.740 We're movie actresses. 57:30.740 --> 57:39.740 Ha ha ha ha. 57:39.740 --> 57:44.740 Are you through, crew? 57:44.740 --> 57:46.740 Say, don't crowd, fellas. There's enough here for everybody. 57:46.740 --> 57:47.740 Thank you, darling. 57:47.740 --> 57:51.740 And one left over for somebody. 57:51.740 --> 57:55.740 Two girls and three boys. It don't come out even, so I'll choose fight. 57:55.740 --> 57:58.740 No, no. You hold it, Jerry. I'll take Deborah Carr. 57:58.740 --> 58:00.740 Now it's one girl and two boys. 58:00.740 --> 58:05.740 Eenie meenie, miney meyer. I will choose Dorothy McGuire. 58:05.740 --> 58:09.740 Okay, Dorothy? Dean, I don't think she likes me. 58:09.740 --> 58:12.740 Ah, don't be silly, Jerry. Of course she does. 58:12.740 --> 58:15.740 I think you're a handsome, intelligent, effective young man. 58:15.740 --> 58:16.740 I think you're real nice. 58:16.740 --> 58:22.740 So if you like me, you take me out. 58:22.740 --> 58:25.740 I'll call you out, Jerm. You and I'll take Deborah. 58:25.740 --> 58:27.740 Oh, yummy. I'll take Dorothy McGuire. 58:27.740 --> 58:29.740 Okay, fellas. We're all set to take the girls out after the show. 58:29.740 --> 58:33.740 Pass the centen. 58:33.740 --> 58:34.740 Now, just wait a minute. 58:34.740 --> 58:41.740 I have been standing here listening to this juvenile Casanovan drivel with ill-concealed contempt. 58:41.740 --> 58:44.740 Using this show to divide up two lovely ladies. 58:44.740 --> 58:49.740 It is a disgusting display of ill manners and bad taste as I have ever seen. 58:49.740 --> 58:50.740 Hello, Miss Bankhead. 58:50.740 --> 58:57.740 Ah, Frankie Langdon. 58:57.740 --> 58:59.740 We're just in time, Frankie. We're just in time. 58:59.740 --> 59:01.740 Three of us couples are going out after the show. 59:01.740 --> 59:03.740 Okay, I'll take Dorothy McGuire. 59:03.740 --> 59:05.740 She's spoken for, darling. 59:05.740 --> 59:06.740 So, okay, I'll take Deborah Carr. 59:06.740 --> 59:09.740 Sorry, someone's taking her. Well... 59:09.740 --> 59:13.740 Well, I could call my wife. Maybe she'll want to go. 59:13.740 --> 59:16.740 Isn't it sweet? 59:16.740 --> 59:17.740 What about me? 59:17.740 --> 59:21.740 Well, if my wife can go, we'll need a babysitter. 59:21.740 --> 59:23.740 What? 59:23.740 --> 59:24.740 Sing your song, Lane. 59:24.740 --> 59:30.740 Okay, I'm going to live till I die. Meredith, if you please. 59:30.740 --> 59:35.740 If you're troubled by the blues 59:35.740 --> 59:40.740 Rise up before you reach the end 59:40.740 --> 59:46.740 Oh, don't be so unhappy, my friend 59:46.740 --> 59:50.740 Be like me 59:50.740 --> 59:56.740 I'm gonna live till I die 59:56.740 --> 59:59.740 I'm gonna laugh instead of cry 59:59.740 --> 01:00:02.740 I'm gonna take the town and turn it upside down 01:00:02.740 --> 01:00:05.740 I'm gonna live till I die 01:00:05.740 --> 01:00:09.740 They're gonna say what a guy 01:00:09.740 --> 01:00:12.740 I'm gonna play for the sky 01:00:12.740 --> 01:00:14.740 Ain't gonna miss a thing 01:00:14.740 --> 01:00:16.740 I'm gonna have my fling 01:00:16.740 --> 01:00:19.740 I'm gonna live till I die 01:00:19.740 --> 01:00:21.740 The blues are rainbow 01:00:21.740 --> 01:00:22.740 I'll make them stay low 01:00:22.740 --> 01:00:25.740 They'll never trail over my head 01:00:25.740 --> 01:00:29.740 I'll be a devil till I'm an angel 01:00:29.740 --> 01:00:32.740 But until then 01:00:32.740 --> 01:00:36.740 Hallelujah, gonna dance, gonna fly 01:00:36.740 --> 01:00:39.740 I'll take a chance riding high 01:00:39.740 --> 01:00:41.740 Before my number's up 01:00:41.740 --> 01:00:43.740 I'm gonna fill my cup 01:00:43.740 --> 01:00:45.740 Live, live, live, live, live 01:00:45.740 --> 01:00:48.740 Till I die 01:00:48.740 --> 01:00:52.740 You gotta laugh instead of cry 01:00:52.740 --> 01:00:55.740 You gotta play for the sky 01:00:55.740 --> 01:00:59.740 You gotta sing and have your fling 01:00:59.740 --> 01:01:02.740 So I'm gonna laugh 01:01:02.740 --> 01:01:04.740 I'm gonna play 01:01:04.740 --> 01:01:09.740 I'm gonna sing, smile, dance, and live 01:01:09.740 --> 01:01:13.740 Till I die 01:01:13.740 --> 01:01:15.740 Till I die 01:01:15.740 --> 01:01:18.740 I'm gonna laugh instead of cry 01:01:18.740 --> 01:01:21.740 I'm gonna take the town and turn it upside down 01:01:21.740 --> 01:01:24.740 I'm gonna live, live, live, till I die 01:01:24.740 --> 01:01:27.740 They're gonna say what a guy 01:01:27.740 --> 01:01:30.740 I'm gonna play for the sky 01:01:30.740 --> 01:01:32.740 Ain't gonna miss a thing 01:01:32.740 --> 01:01:34.740 I'm gonna have my fling 01:01:34.740 --> 01:01:37.740 I'm gonna live, live, live, till I die 01:01:37.740 --> 01:01:39.740 The blues will link so low 01:01:39.740 --> 01:01:41.740 I'll make them say it so low 01:01:41.740 --> 01:01:43.740 They'll never trail over my head 01:01:43.740 --> 01:01:47.740 I'll be a devil till I'm an angel 01:01:47.740 --> 01:01:50.740 But until then 01:01:50.740 --> 01:01:54.740 Hallelujah, gonna dance, dance, dance, gonna fly 01:01:54.740 --> 01:01:57.740 I'll take a chance riding high 01:01:57.740 --> 01:01:59.740 Before my number's up 01:01:59.740 --> 01:02:01.740 I'm gonna fill my cup 01:02:01.740 --> 01:02:04.740 I'm gonna live, live, live, till I die 01:02:04.740 --> 01:02:06.740 Live until I die 01:02:06.740 --> 01:02:08.740 Before my number's up 01:02:08.740 --> 01:02:11.740 I'm gonna fill my cup 01:02:11.740 --> 01:02:17.740 I'm gonna live, live, live, live, live 01:02:17.740 --> 01:02:19.740 Until I die 01:02:19.740 --> 01:02:21.740 Until I die 01:02:21.740 --> 01:02:27.740 I'm gonna live until I die 01:02:27.740 --> 01:02:39.740 Applause 01:02:39.740 --> 01:02:45.740 Here is something you should know if you ever suffer from the sudden pain of headaches, neuritis, or neuralgia. 01:02:45.740 --> 01:02:48.740 It's a way to ease the pain, often within a few minutes. 01:02:48.740 --> 01:02:51.740 A way that is incredibly fast and effective. 01:02:51.740 --> 01:02:53.740 It's anisine. 01:02:53.740 --> 01:02:55.740 Anisine is like a doctor's prescription. 01:02:55.740 --> 01:03:03.740 That is, anisine contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven active ingredients and easy to take tablet form. 01:03:03.740 --> 01:03:08.740 Thousands of people were first introduced to anisine through their own physicians or dentists. 01:03:08.740 --> 01:03:15.740 But today these tablets are in such widespread use that all drug counters have them, and anyone may enjoy their benefits. 01:03:15.740 --> 01:03:21.740 Next time you suffer from the pains of a headache, neuritis, or neuralgia, by all means try anisine. 01:03:21.740 --> 01:03:28.740 You'll like the convenience of anisine tablets, and you'll be delighted with anisine's incredibly fast action. 01:03:28.740 --> 01:03:31.740 A-N-A-C-I-N. 01:03:31.740 --> 01:03:36.740 Anisine. Ask for anisine by name today at your drugget. 01:03:36.740 --> 01:03:43.740 Music 01:03:43.740 --> 01:03:47.740 Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome to the big show the Actors' Company of Hollywood, 01:03:47.740 --> 01:03:51.740 which is composed of some of the outstanding creative artists in Hollywood, 01:03:51.740 --> 01:03:54.740 who have brought the living American theater to the West Coast. 01:03:54.740 --> 01:04:02.740 Tonight the Actors' Company has graciously invited me to appear with them in a radio adaptation of Claire Booth-Lewis' Broadway play, The Women. 01:04:02.740 --> 01:04:09.740 The scene is in the living room of Mary Haynes on Pop Avenue, the time, afternoon, the occasion, tenaster. 01:04:09.740 --> 01:04:15.740 Dorothy McGuire appears as Peggy, Deborah Carr as Mary, and I play Sylvia. 01:04:15.740 --> 01:04:18.740 Ladies and gentlemen, the Actors' Company. 01:04:18.740 --> 01:04:36.740 Music 01:04:36.740 --> 01:04:41.740 Excuse me Sylvia, I think I'd better join the others. I haven't seen Mary's children yet, they're just back from the park. 01:04:41.740 --> 01:04:45.740 Wait Peggy, I've got something to tell you. I'd burst if I had to wait. 01:04:45.740 --> 01:04:49.740 Oh, I knew you had something. I'm not sure you should tell me Sylvia. 01:04:49.740 --> 01:04:55.740 Now don't be stupid Peggy. Stephen Haynes is two-timing Mary. He's playing around, he's got a girl. 01:04:55.740 --> 01:04:57.740 Oh, I don't believe it. Is it true? 01:04:57.740 --> 01:05:03.740 Wait till you hear. Now you know I go to Moscow for my hair. You ought to go, pet. I despise whatever does yours. 01:05:03.740 --> 01:05:09.740 Well, that's the most wonderful you manicurist there. Aren't I near divine? Look dear, a jungle red. 01:05:09.740 --> 01:05:11.740 Go on Sylvia, what are you trying to say? 01:05:11.740 --> 01:05:18.740 Well now this manicurist is marvellous. Look at her in my nails. And I was looking through Vogue. You know, the one with Mary in the Vogue Arts Vol. 01:05:18.740 --> 01:05:21.740 Oh yes, she wore a white powdered wig and she looked lovely. 01:05:21.740 --> 01:05:27.740 Well now this manicurist, oh Mrs. Taller she said, is that me Mrs. Haynes who is so awfully rich? 01:05:27.740 --> 01:05:29.740 And what difference does it make to her? 01:05:29.740 --> 01:05:33.740 Oh I forget what she said next. You know how these creatures are babble babble babble babble babble babble. 01:05:33.740 --> 01:05:39.740 Never let a moment when suddenly she said, I know Mr. Haynes' girlfriend. 01:05:39.740 --> 01:05:41.740 Oh how could you listen to her? 01:05:41.740 --> 01:05:49.740 Listen to her my dear. How do you suppose I felt? I couldn't very well shut her up. I mean I had to find out who the other woman was. 01:05:49.740 --> 01:05:51.740 Does Mary know about this? 01:05:51.740 --> 01:05:58.740 No, but she's bound to find out. If a woman's got any instincts, she fears when her husband is off the reservation. 01:05:58.740 --> 01:06:04.740 I know I would, but not Mary. If only there was some way to warn her. 01:06:04.740 --> 01:06:06.740 Villevier, you're not going to tell her. 01:06:06.740 --> 01:06:11.740 Why certainly not my dear. But I'd die before I'd be the one to hurt her like that. 01:06:11.740 --> 01:06:13.740 Couldn't someone shut that manicurist up? 01:06:13.740 --> 01:06:18.740 A good story like that? A lot of these girls care whose lives they ruin. 01:06:18.740 --> 01:06:20.740 Dirty, isn't it? 01:06:20.740 --> 01:06:28.740 Foul! My dear, the whole thing is justly unfair to Mary. I feel like a disloyal skunk. 01:06:28.740 --> 01:06:33.740 Well just knowing about it. You know I worship Mary. She's my dearest friend in the world. 01:06:33.740 --> 01:06:35.740 Help her, help her. 01:06:35.740 --> 01:06:37.740 Shut up Peggy, shut up. 01:06:37.740 --> 01:06:41.740 I'm so sorry to have kept you. I was talking to Stephen. Where are the others? 01:06:41.740 --> 01:06:43.740 They're in with the children, Mary. 01:06:43.740 --> 01:06:47.740 Well, darling, how is Stephen, the old dear? And did you give him my love? 01:06:47.740 --> 01:06:50.740 I did Sylvia. Stephen's not so well. 01:06:50.740 --> 01:06:52.740 Oh, what's the trouble? 01:06:52.740 --> 01:06:55.740 Nervous indigestion. That's why I have a plain cook now. 01:06:55.740 --> 01:06:57.740 Oh, there's nothing worrying Stephen. 01:06:57.740 --> 01:07:01.740 Oh no, he's just been working late. He's not coming home again tonight. 01:07:01.740 --> 01:07:04.740 Oh, are you sure it's worth darling, and not a beautiful blonde? 01:07:04.740 --> 01:07:06.740 Oh Sylvia. 01:07:06.740 --> 01:07:08.740 Well Stephen's a very attractive man. 01:07:08.740 --> 01:07:13.740 Isn't he? I can't imagine why he hasn't deserted me for some glamorous creature long ago. 01:07:13.740 --> 01:07:15.740 Oh Mary, you do sound smart. 01:07:15.740 --> 01:07:19.740 Oh let me be Peggy. How can you be too sure of what you believe in most? 01:07:19.740 --> 01:07:23.740 I wouldn't be sure of anyone if we were able to get up and totter across the room. 01:07:23.740 --> 01:07:32.740 I always tell my spouse, if you ever manage to make a fool of me, I'll deserve what I get. 01:07:32.740 --> 01:07:33.740 You certainly will. 01:07:33.740 --> 01:07:36.740 Oh Mary, have you seen my new nail color? How do you like that? 01:07:36.740 --> 01:07:37.740 It's attractive Sylvia. 01:07:37.740 --> 01:07:41.740 Oh God, imagine how it stays on. I get it at Michael's. You ought to go Mary. 01:07:41.740 --> 01:07:45.740 Oh Sylvia. Oh wonderful new manicurist, Olga's her name. She's marvelous. 01:07:45.740 --> 01:07:46.740 Let's flake an after. 01:07:46.740 --> 01:07:48.740 Now look Mary, they call it Jungle Red. 01:07:48.740 --> 01:07:50.740 Looks as if you've been tearing at somebody's throat. 01:07:50.740 --> 01:07:53.740 Oh that does it Peggy. I'll never tell you another thing. 01:07:53.740 --> 01:07:54.740 That will be just fine. 01:07:54.740 --> 01:08:03.740 Now girls, I really do like Sylvia's polish. It's new and smart. Michael's, Olga, Jungle Red. 01:08:03.740 --> 01:08:07.740 I remember that. Shall we cut the deal Sylvia, you and I? I feel lucky today. 01:08:07.740 --> 01:08:11.740 Do you darling? Well you know what they say, lucky in cards. 01:08:19.740 --> 01:08:28.740 Michael's, Olga, Jungle Red. Yes, I went to Michael's and I had my nails done by Olga. 01:08:28.740 --> 01:08:35.740 And I had my world destroyed too. I found out what my friends already knew. 01:08:35.740 --> 01:08:40.740 Stephen had another woman, Crystal Allen. 01:08:40.740 --> 01:08:44.740 The place they send wives with shattered worlds is called Reno. 01:08:44.740 --> 01:08:49.740 It wasn't long before we were there. Oh yes, Peggy and Sylvia had to go too. 01:08:49.740 --> 01:08:53.740 Divorce seemed to be catching. 01:08:53.740 --> 01:09:00.740 Well Sylvia, what is your doing in Reno Peggy? I couldn't resist the slot machine. 01:09:00.740 --> 01:09:05.740 I can imagine. Well relax darling, you'll get a better break from those one-armed bandits 01:09:05.740 --> 01:09:07.740 than you got from dear husband John. 01:09:07.740 --> 01:09:09.740 And I suppose you came here for the rodeo? 01:09:09.740 --> 01:09:15.740 Don't be crude dear. 01:09:15.740 --> 01:09:19.740 What if he does look a little bench when he's not on his horse? 01:09:19.740 --> 01:09:24.740 He's the best I can find in this town. At least I'm not going to sit around and mope like Mary. 01:09:24.740 --> 01:09:28.740 Now don't start anything Sylvia, this is Mary's last night. She's got to decree tomorrow. 01:09:28.740 --> 01:09:30.740 I'm praying she'll get a call from New York tonight. 01:09:30.740 --> 01:09:32.740 You mean Mary would take Stephen back? 01:09:32.740 --> 01:09:36.740 Well why not? Why not? You think I wouldn't take John back? 01:09:36.740 --> 01:09:39.740 That is if we hadn't feuded so terribly over money. 01:09:39.740 --> 01:09:46.740 Oh stop sniveling. You and Mary had no pride. I'd roast on a spit before I'd take Howard Fowler back. 01:09:46.740 --> 01:09:49.740 Kicking me out like that after all I sacrificed. 01:09:49.740 --> 01:09:51.740 You did? What did you do? 01:09:51.740 --> 01:09:57.740 I gave him my youth. But I got paid plenty. 01:09:57.740 --> 01:09:59.740 The skunk. 01:09:59.740 --> 01:10:02.740 Oh Sylvia, why do you hate Mary so? 01:10:02.740 --> 01:10:06.740 I don't hate her. It's just that she was always so smug about her husband and her happiness. 01:10:06.740 --> 01:10:08.740 Now she's down like all the rest of us. 01:10:08.740 --> 01:10:13.740 Yes Sylvia, I'm down now. We're all in the soup together. 01:10:13.740 --> 01:10:15.740 By the way, here's a letter that came for you. 01:10:15.740 --> 01:10:18.740 Oh thanks. I haven't heard from Stephen I suppose. 01:10:18.740 --> 01:10:21.740 No, it's too late for that I'm afraid. 01:10:21.740 --> 01:10:23.740 Well sweetheart, he's hardly worth a broken heart. 01:10:23.740 --> 01:10:26.740 The less you have to say about me and Stephen the better I like it. 01:10:26.740 --> 01:10:29.740 Well I'm only trying to cheer you up. That's more than you do for me. 01:10:29.740 --> 01:10:32.740 I'm doing enough just being pleasant to you. 01:10:32.740 --> 01:10:34.740 Now you have got the jitters, do you? 01:10:34.740 --> 01:10:36.740 Now you let Mary alone. We're all in the same fix. 01:10:36.740 --> 01:10:40.740 Oh I'm just trying to make her see that life isn't over just because Stephen let her down. 01:10:40.740 --> 01:10:43.740 I'm glad you've adjusted to the inevitable Sylvia. 01:10:43.740 --> 01:10:46.740 What do you mean by that crack darling? 01:10:46.740 --> 01:10:52.740 She means what we read in the New York papers this morning. Your husband is marrying Miriam Arendt of the Vanities. 01:10:52.740 --> 01:10:53.740 Why you little bitch. 01:10:53.740 --> 01:10:54.740 No Sylvia. 01:10:54.740 --> 01:10:55.740 Did you know this? 01:10:55.740 --> 01:10:58.740 Oh Sylvia, why do you care? You don't love Howard. 01:10:58.740 --> 01:11:00.740 Oh Mary, how could you do this to me? 01:11:00.740 --> 01:11:01.740 I'm terribly sorry Sylvia. 01:11:01.740 --> 01:11:05.740 This humiliation, this carefully timed insult and after all I've done for you. 01:11:05.740 --> 01:11:07.740 And what have you done for me? 01:11:07.740 --> 01:11:08.740 I warned you. 01:11:08.740 --> 01:11:09.740 I'm not exactly grateful for that. 01:11:09.740 --> 01:11:12.740 No aren't you? Listen to me you balking feet. 01:11:12.740 --> 01:11:14.740 You're not the object of pity you suppose. 01:11:14.740 --> 01:11:17.740 Many of the girls have pickled a death you've got those coming to you. 01:11:17.740 --> 01:11:21.740 You deserve to lose Stephen, stupid way you acted. 01:11:21.740 --> 01:11:23.740 But I always stood up for you like a loyal friend. 01:11:23.740 --> 01:11:25.740 What thanks do I get? 01:11:25.740 --> 01:11:27.740 You about this woman you stood by gloating. 01:11:27.740 --> 01:11:29.740 Get out of here. Get out. 01:11:29.740 --> 01:11:34.740 I hate you. I hate you. I hate everybody. I hate everybody. 01:11:34.740 --> 01:11:37.740 You wait. Someday you'll need a woman friend. 01:11:37.740 --> 01:11:41.740 Let you think of me. 01:11:41.740 --> 01:11:43.740 Well that is that. 01:11:43.740 --> 01:11:47.740 Oh Mary, what are we doing here? What is happening to us? 01:11:47.740 --> 01:11:50.740 We're being written off the books Peggy. 01:11:50.740 --> 01:11:53.740 But you haven't given up Mary, not really. 01:11:53.740 --> 01:11:55.740 You still think in your heart that Stephen will call. 01:11:55.740 --> 01:11:57.740 Don't you Mary? Don't you? 01:11:57.740 --> 01:12:00.740 No. No Peggy it's too late. 01:12:00.740 --> 01:12:03.740 If he were going to call he wouldn't have waited until now. 01:12:03.740 --> 01:12:05.740 The very last minute. 01:12:05.740 --> 01:12:07.740 We need someone to protect us from all this. 01:12:07.740 --> 01:12:10.740 A woman's best protection is the right man. 01:12:10.740 --> 01:12:13.740 And obviously your John isn't the right man Peggy. 01:12:13.740 --> 01:12:15.740 And he'll forget all about you in another month. 01:12:15.740 --> 01:12:17.740 Another month? Oh no. 01:12:17.740 --> 01:12:19.740 No I can't stand it here another moment. 01:12:19.740 --> 01:12:21.740 Oh I can't Mary. I can't. 01:12:21.740 --> 01:12:25.740 But Peggy. What's the matter with you? 01:12:25.740 --> 01:12:28.740 I'm going to have a baby oh Mary. What shall I do? 01:12:28.740 --> 01:12:31.740 Do? There's only one thing to do. 01:12:31.740 --> 01:12:33.740 New York operator. 01:12:33.740 --> 01:12:34.740 Peggy what's the number? 01:12:34.740 --> 01:12:36.740 El Dorado 52075. 01:12:36.740 --> 01:12:38.740 El Dorado 52075. 01:12:38.740 --> 01:12:42.740 Oh I can't tell him now. Oh Mary I know I was wrong. 01:12:42.740 --> 01:12:45.740 But it's no use. You just don't know the things he said to me. 01:12:45.740 --> 01:12:47.740 And I have my pride. 01:12:47.740 --> 01:12:50.740 Reno's full of women who all have their pride. 01:12:50.740 --> 01:12:53.740 Hello? Mr. Day please. Reno calling. 01:12:53.740 --> 01:12:56.740 Just hold on a moment. Hello John? 01:12:56.740 --> 01:12:58.740 No no no I'm not sick. 01:12:58.740 --> 01:13:01.740 Oh John I'm going to have a baby. 01:13:01.740 --> 01:13:03.740 Oh my dear are you? 01:13:03.740 --> 01:13:06.740 Oh dear do you? 01:13:06.740 --> 01:13:07.740 Oh dear so am I. 01:13:07.740 --> 01:13:12.740 Of course I forgive you. Oh yes precious. Yes lamb. On the very next train. 01:13:12.740 --> 01:13:15.740 Oh Johnny when I get back things are going to be so different. 01:13:15.740 --> 01:13:19.740 And dear do you mind if I reverse the charges? 01:13:19.740 --> 01:13:23.740 Oh Mary I've got to pack. Oh Mary I can't bear to leave you here alone. 01:13:23.740 --> 01:13:26.740 Why don't you? Why don't you do something about Stephen? 01:13:26.740 --> 01:13:28.740 It's different with me Peggy. 01:13:28.740 --> 01:13:30.740 Stephen is marrying another woman. 01:13:30.740 --> 01:13:32.740 But she doesn't love him. 01:13:32.740 --> 01:13:35.740 I do. That's the way it is. 01:13:35.740 --> 01:13:39.740 But Mary why don't you fight for it? Your marriage hasn't really ended until you end it. 01:13:39.740 --> 01:13:41.740 Fight? 01:13:41.740 --> 01:13:44.740 Yes. Why not Peggy? 01:13:44.740 --> 01:13:46.740 Why not? 01:13:46.740 --> 01:13:49.740 Fight the way other women fight. 01:13:49.740 --> 01:13:52.740 You're right Peggy. It isn't ended is it? 01:13:52.740 --> 01:13:56.740 If your heart doesn't say so it's not ended. 01:13:56.740 --> 01:14:00.740 The End 01:14:10.740 --> 01:14:15.740 This powder room looks like ladies night at Madison Square Garden. 01:14:15.740 --> 01:14:19.740 Here Peggy try my lipstick. I can't bear how that shade you're using. 01:14:19.740 --> 01:14:21.740 Thanks your dear. What do you think of the party? 01:14:21.740 --> 01:14:24.740 Gruesome. I hate this club. 01:14:24.740 --> 01:14:26.740 You know Mary is here tonight. 01:14:26.740 --> 01:14:29.740 Yes I saw her. First time she's been out in a year. Why do you think? 01:14:29.740 --> 01:14:32.740 She's here because Stephen is here and his new wife. 01:14:32.740 --> 01:14:34.740 Why should Mary be here because Stephen's here? 01:14:34.740 --> 01:14:36.740 Don't tell me she's still in that concert. 01:14:36.740 --> 01:14:40.740 Well why not? Now look here Sylvia. You knew that crystal creature didn't you? 01:14:40.740 --> 01:14:43.740 I met her. What makes you think Mary thinks she has a chance? 01:14:43.740 --> 01:14:45.740 I've got a hunch you could tell her that. 01:14:45.740 --> 01:14:47.740 Hmm maybe I could. 01:14:47.740 --> 01:14:48.740 Oh what do you mean? 01:14:48.740 --> 01:14:50.740 That Stephen of hers is a Puritan. 01:14:50.740 --> 01:14:54.740 Bless his little Plymouth Rock soul. 01:14:54.740 --> 01:15:02.740 My psychoanalyst tells me that men of his generation were brought up to believe that wives who carry keys to other apartments are strictly for burning. 01:15:02.740 --> 01:15:04.740 What are you talking about? 01:15:04.740 --> 01:15:06.740 Well I shouldn't be talking about it at all. 01:15:06.740 --> 01:15:13.740 But I will tell you this. I visited this crystal a month ago and while she was bathing I rummaged around and came across a key. 01:15:13.740 --> 01:15:15.740 A little gold key. 01:15:15.740 --> 01:15:17.740 A key to what? 01:15:17.740 --> 01:15:22.740 To an apartment where the new Mrs. Stephen Hayes still sees an old boyfriend Jim Winston. 01:15:22.740 --> 01:15:25.740 Sylvia. You've got to tell Mary. 01:15:25.740 --> 01:15:26.740 Tell Mary what girls? 01:15:26.740 --> 01:15:30.740 Oh Mary you're looking ravishing. 01:15:30.740 --> 01:15:32.740 Is this your first time out since Reno? 01:15:32.740 --> 01:15:35.740 Yes darling. I'm a recluse. Stay home and bloom. 01:15:35.740 --> 01:15:39.740 Mary you've been sitting out there in that club all night with Jim Winston. I've seen how he is. 01:15:39.740 --> 01:15:41.740 Intoxicated as usual I'll bet. 01:15:41.740 --> 01:15:42.740 Yes Sylvia. 01:15:42.740 --> 01:15:43.740 Find out anything darling? 01:15:43.740 --> 01:15:47.740 Plenty. I think he's the secret in Crystal's life. 01:15:47.740 --> 01:15:52.740 Aha. So you have been digging. Well I hope you know what you're talking about dearie. 01:15:52.740 --> 01:15:57.740 Yes I know what I'm talking about Sylvia. I know all about Crystal and Jim Winston. 01:15:57.740 --> 01:16:04.740 And Jim Winston is just waiting for me to cue him so that he can tell Stephen everything about his precious new wife. 01:16:04.740 --> 01:16:05.740 Good girl. 01:16:05.740 --> 01:16:12.740 Yes Jim Winston thinks I'm a very much abused gal. His western chivalry is about to light up like a crepe Suzette. 01:16:12.740 --> 01:16:21.740 Well this couldn't be the little Mary you put herself high on the pedestal above all us poor down-shard and unfaughtened females a year ago. 01:16:21.740 --> 01:16:25.740 Now Sylvia. You have the proof Mary needs. Give her that key. 01:16:25.740 --> 01:16:26.740 What key? 01:16:26.740 --> 01:16:34.740 Darling I never become embroiled in divorce actions. Other people. I photograph terribly. 01:16:34.740 --> 01:16:41.740 Come on Sylvia. For once in your life play ball. Give Mary that key. 01:16:41.740 --> 01:16:43.740 Mary do you mean you'll take that sleutered left over? 01:16:43.740 --> 01:16:46.740 I'll take him thank you. I love him. 01:16:46.740 --> 01:16:48.740 Why Mary haven't you any pride? 01:16:48.740 --> 01:16:52.740 Pride? That's the luxury a woman in love can't afford. 01:16:52.740 --> 01:16:54.740 Well what do you do if I give you the key? 01:16:54.740 --> 01:17:00.740 If it's what I think it is. I'm going out there right now and let Jim Winston tell Stephen the truth. 01:17:00.740 --> 01:17:06.740 The whole truth about Mrs. Crystal Haynes. Then I'll move in and get him back. 01:17:06.740 --> 01:17:14.740 Why Mary I believe you will. Well here darling take the key. Incidentally pet. It's for 807 Gothic Arms. A real fleabag. 01:17:14.740 --> 01:17:21.740 The elevator boys make excellent witnesses. 01:17:21.740 --> 01:17:25.740 Make way for a lady who is about to fight for her man and no hold barred. 01:17:25.740 --> 01:17:28.740 Why Mary what a dirty female freak. 01:17:28.740 --> 01:17:38.740 I had a year to sharpen my claws darling. How do you like my nails Sylvia? Jungle red pet. Goodnight ladies. 01:17:48.740 --> 01:17:54.740 Oh Deborah, Deborah darling don't go away darling. I want to have some girl talk with you in just a moment. 01:17:54.740 --> 01:17:57.740 Right now a man named Bing Crosby wants to say something. 01:17:57.740 --> 01:18:00.740 Why Bing do you happen to catch Bob Hope's program? 01:18:00.740 --> 01:18:04.740 Oh Ken, Bob Hope shows an absolute must in the Crosby household. 01:18:04.740 --> 01:18:08.740 Every Tuesday night we all gulp our dinner down and we dash madly for the radio. 01:18:08.740 --> 01:18:11.740 We all sit in a semi-circle and we pay strict attention. 01:18:11.740 --> 01:18:18.740 The first one to laugh has to wash the dishes. 01:18:18.740 --> 01:18:20.740 I see you make a regular game out of it. 01:18:20.740 --> 01:18:21.740 Yeah. 01:18:21.740 --> 01:18:26.740 Oh then you heard Bob mention the new Chesterfield poster. The one that shows him holding up the new Chesterfield Christmas card. 01:18:26.740 --> 01:18:29.740 Oh indeed I did. I heard him plug my Santa Claus likeness on the card too. 01:18:29.740 --> 01:18:32.740 Ah you know Bing you make a very convincing Papa Santa Claus. 01:18:32.740 --> 01:18:35.740 Well I've had the modicum of practice shall we say. 01:18:35.740 --> 01:18:39.740 Anyway it's a wonderful gift for just about everyone you want to give a gift for. 01:18:39.740 --> 01:18:42.740 Chesterfield, Chesterfield always wins first place. 01:18:42.740 --> 01:18:46.740 That's milder mild so that cone never leaves an aftertaste. 01:18:46.740 --> 01:18:51.740 So open a pack, give them a smell. Then you'll smoke them. 01:18:51.740 --> 01:18:55.740 This Christmas give Chesterfield Christmas card with Bing as Papa Santa Claus. 01:18:55.740 --> 01:19:02.740 Hey to Lou. 01:19:02.740 --> 01:19:03.740 What about? 01:19:03.740 --> 01:19:07.740 Well Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis and I would like to do our version of the women. 01:19:07.740 --> 01:19:13.740 We call it the fellers. 01:19:13.740 --> 01:19:15.740 Well let's hear it. 01:19:15.740 --> 01:19:17.740 Ladies and gentlemen the Actors Company. 01:19:17.740 --> 01:19:29.740 Sydney. 01:19:29.740 --> 01:19:32.740 What is it Marvin? 01:19:32.740 --> 01:19:34.740 I love your drapes. 01:19:34.740 --> 01:19:37.740 Thank goodness someone noticed them. 01:19:37.740 --> 01:19:41.740 I've been wearing them for three weeks and my wife never said a word. 01:19:41.740 --> 01:19:44.740 Before we were married she noticed everything I wore. You know how we met. 01:19:44.740 --> 01:19:46.740 I was a car hop at a drive in. 01:19:46.740 --> 01:19:53.740 Oh I remember when you worked there you sure could fill a pair of tight slacks. 01:19:53.740 --> 01:19:56.740 And then some. Thank you Marvin. 01:19:56.740 --> 01:19:58.740 I remember when you were thin too. 01:19:58.740 --> 01:20:02.740 Say speaking of blubber have you seen Piggy lately? 01:20:02.740 --> 01:20:04.740 Not so loud he's in the next room fixing his face. 01:20:04.740 --> 01:20:11.740 Fixing his face? How did he manage to do that? It's so hard to get parts these days. 01:20:11.740 --> 01:20:15.740 Gee here it comes now. Get a load of that hair will you? 01:20:15.740 --> 01:20:22.740 Hair? I thought it was a helmet. Oh hello. 01:20:22.740 --> 01:20:24.740 Hello Piggy. Say I like your hair. 01:20:24.740 --> 01:20:30.740 You mean it? You like this color? Jungle red. 01:20:30.740 --> 01:20:34.740 Oh yes it goes so well with your eyes. 01:20:34.740 --> 01:20:36.740 Oh that's because he cries so much. 01:20:36.740 --> 01:20:39.740 You know a woman is worth it Piggy. There are other fish in the sea. 01:20:39.740 --> 01:20:43.740 I don't like fish I like women. 01:20:43.740 --> 01:20:47.740 Look what are you worried about Pig? After your wife gets a divorce you'll find somebody else. 01:20:47.740 --> 01:20:49.740 There are two million women in New York. 01:20:49.740 --> 01:20:51.740 Yeah but they don't want to get married. 01:20:51.740 --> 01:20:54.740 How do you know? I asked them. 01:20:54.740 --> 01:20:56.740 Ah don't cry Piggy. 01:20:56.740 --> 01:21:00.740 I want my wife. I miss my poopsie. 01:21:00.740 --> 01:21:03.740 So go on home to your poopsie. Go ahead. 01:21:03.740 --> 01:21:08.740 I can't. Why not? She hits me. 01:21:08.740 --> 01:21:13.740 Besides I overheard Mike Hattie telling the masseur the poopsie is going out with Fred. 01:21:13.740 --> 01:21:19.740 That's a lot. Fred is going out with Muriel. 01:21:19.740 --> 01:21:23.740 What about Velma? 01:21:23.740 --> 01:21:34.740 Velma broke off with Fred when she saw him with Isabelle. 01:21:34.740 --> 01:21:38.740 Isabelle? 01:21:38.740 --> 01:21:55.740 Why Isabelle told Martha that Selma isn't speaking to Miriam since Dolores found that gold key to Maxine's medicine cabinet in Tallulah's slag. 01:21:55.740 --> 01:22:00.740 Would you mind repeating the question? 01:22:00.740 --> 01:22:03.740 I don't carry tails. 01:22:03.740 --> 01:22:06.740 And I don't know about you guys but I'm going out and paint the town red. 01:22:06.740 --> 01:22:08.740 Jungle red of course. 01:22:08.740 --> 01:22:10.740 How about it Marvin? Want to come along with me? 01:22:10.740 --> 01:22:14.740 Yeah I'd love to Sydney but my little fixer old niece has come to visit me. 01:22:14.740 --> 01:22:16.740 Piggy will you look after Marvin's niece? 01:22:16.740 --> 01:22:18.740 Me? But your niece is a stranger to me. 01:22:18.740 --> 01:22:22.740 Marvin what is your niece? A boy or a girl? 01:22:22.740 --> 01:22:24.740 Well a girl. 01:22:24.740 --> 01:22:26.740 Does she hit? 01:22:26.740 --> 01:22:28.740 I don't like to be hit by a stranger. 01:22:28.740 --> 01:22:31.740 Oh you'll get along fine with her. Come on Sydney let's go. 01:22:31.740 --> 01:22:33.740 Okay see you later Piggy. 01:22:33.740 --> 01:22:35.740 Now I gotta take care of a stranger. 01:22:35.740 --> 01:22:40.740 Oh me, oh my, golly gee. Here I sit all alone. 01:22:40.740 --> 01:22:43.740 Gee I said I sit all alone and the telephone rang. 01:22:43.740 --> 01:22:46.740 Oh it hiked me. 01:22:46.740 --> 01:22:49.740 Hello? Oh poofsy am I glad you called. 01:22:49.740 --> 01:22:52.740 I'm in terrible trouble. You gotta take me back. 01:22:52.740 --> 01:22:57.740 I didn't want to tell you this before but now you gotta take me back. You gotta. 01:22:57.740 --> 01:23:01.740 I'm expecting a little stranger. 01:23:01.740 --> 01:23:10.740 Ah ha ha ha ha. 01:23:10.740 --> 01:23:15.740 That was real fun. Well boys will be boys. 01:23:15.740 --> 01:23:18.740 And now to the girls. Come on over Deborah Carr and Darlton McGuire. 01:23:18.740 --> 01:23:21.740 Aren't they lovely? Two famous famous movie actresses. 01:23:21.740 --> 01:23:23.740 We've all seen and admired many many times. 01:23:23.740 --> 01:23:31.740 Ah very dear friends. Ah ha ha darlings I keep forgetting which one of you is Deborah Carr. 01:23:31.740 --> 01:23:36.740 I am and which one of you is Tallulah Bankhead? 01:23:36.740 --> 01:23:39.740 Darling there is only one Tallulah Bankhead. 01:23:39.740 --> 01:23:49.740 Yes and isn't her name Betty Davis? 01:23:49.740 --> 01:23:53.740 No that isn't it sweetie. 01:23:53.740 --> 01:23:55.740 Darlton McGuire. Darcy Darcy Darcy how are you dear? 01:23:55.740 --> 01:23:58.740 I never think of you without remembering the brilliant Claudia that you were. 01:23:58.740 --> 01:24:00.740 Aren't you ever coming back to Broadway? 01:24:00.740 --> 01:24:03.740 Well I think about it now and then Tallulah but my picture work takes all my time. 01:24:03.740 --> 01:24:05.740 It's not so easy as a theatre. 01:24:05.740 --> 01:24:07.740 Oh darling the theatre is quite exhausting. 01:24:07.740 --> 01:24:10.740 Exhausting? Two and a half hours a night from 8.30 to 11. 01:24:10.740 --> 01:24:12.740 What do you do from 11 till 8.30 the next night? 01:24:12.740 --> 01:24:17.740 I shake hands with my admirers. 01:24:17.740 --> 01:24:19.740 Of course motion picture work is alright I suppose. 01:24:19.740 --> 01:24:21.740 I made one here a few years ago. Lifeboat. 01:24:21.740 --> 01:24:25.740 You'd doubt if you see it. 01:24:25.740 --> 01:24:29.740 Well anyway when I finish it I dash right back to my dear old Broadway. 01:24:29.740 --> 01:24:31.740 Didn't they ever call you back to make a sequel? 01:24:31.740 --> 01:24:37.740 Son of Lifeboat. 01:24:37.740 --> 01:24:39.740 I didn't say so. 01:24:39.740 --> 01:24:41.740 Oh I've had offers of course. 01:24:41.740 --> 01:24:43.740 But you were busy shaking hands. 01:24:43.740 --> 01:24:44.740 Yes Deborah darling. 01:24:44.740 --> 01:24:48.740 Well it's alright to make a picture now and then but I can't understand how you can say a word in New York so long. 01:24:48.740 --> 01:24:50.740 The home of the living theatre. You especially Dorothy. 01:24:50.740 --> 01:24:52.740 Bonds of the theatre you might say. 01:24:52.740 --> 01:24:54.740 Oh I love California. We all do. 01:24:54.740 --> 01:24:56.740 The palm trees, the coconut trees, the banana trees. 01:24:56.740 --> 01:25:00.740 Well of course bongo if you don't want to leave the Congo. 01:25:00.740 --> 01:25:02.740 But I prefer Broadway anytime. 01:25:02.740 --> 01:25:04.740 I don't know why. We have radio here too you know. 01:25:04.740 --> 01:25:06.740 Oh Deborah I'm not on radio alone. 01:25:06.740 --> 01:25:10.740 Besides radio I take an active interest in the theatre. I lecture, make records. 01:25:10.740 --> 01:25:14.740 I'm spread out all over the place. 01:25:14.740 --> 01:25:20.740 Yes dear but in that dress it doesn't show at all. 01:25:20.740 --> 01:25:22.740 What? 01:25:22.740 --> 01:25:26.740 And besides Tallulah we don't only make pictures we have a theatre here which is very much alive. 01:25:26.740 --> 01:25:27.740 The Actors Company. 01:25:27.740 --> 01:25:29.740 Oh of course you have and it's too cadaver in the arts I suppose. 01:25:29.740 --> 01:25:32.740 I'd be glad to join your little group if it will help you out. 01:25:32.740 --> 01:25:37.740 Oh I'm sorry Tallulah. It's the Actors Company? 01:25:37.740 --> 01:25:41.740 Oh yes it was the unkindest cut of all. 01:25:41.740 --> 01:25:44.740 Deborah you know my work in the theatre. You remember me on the stage in England. 01:25:44.740 --> 01:25:48.740 Well I was a small child at the time. 01:25:48.740 --> 01:25:52.740 Ah ha. As it is sweet. I see the two of you against me. 01:25:52.740 --> 01:25:53.740 You began it. 01:25:53.740 --> 01:25:54.740 The two of you picking on me. 01:25:54.740 --> 01:25:56.740 You started picking on me. 01:25:56.740 --> 01:25:57.740 No I'm not a good actress. 01:25:57.740 --> 01:26:00.740 Now who has it said which one of you is Deborah Carr? 01:26:00.740 --> 01:26:03.740 Nathan Hale. What difference does it make? 01:26:03.740 --> 01:26:05.740 Was it a joke or are your eyes bad? 01:26:05.740 --> 01:26:07.740 Oh that's been a lifetime in the theatre. 01:26:07.740 --> 01:26:09.740 If you'll admit your eyes are bad I'll apologize. 01:26:09.740 --> 01:26:12.740 You stand there and tell me I can't join your Actors Company? 01:26:12.740 --> 01:26:14.740 Was it a joke or was it your eyes? 01:26:14.740 --> 01:26:16.740 How the mighty has fallen. 01:26:16.740 --> 01:26:19.740 Was it your eyes? Look how many fingers am I holding up? 01:26:19.740 --> 01:26:22.740 Twelve for what? 01:26:22.740 --> 01:26:27.740 To think that the name of the Dula Bank and a symbol of the living theatre should be destroyed in ground practice. 01:26:27.740 --> 01:26:30.740 This is the unkindest cut of all. 01:26:30.740 --> 01:26:31.740 Oh Tallulah I'm sorry. 01:26:31.740 --> 01:26:34.740 Oh dear please don't take it this way. 01:26:34.740 --> 01:26:37.740 Of course I'm a great actress. 01:26:37.740 --> 01:26:38.740 We were only joking. 01:26:38.740 --> 01:26:40.740 Oh well apologize Tallulah. 01:26:40.740 --> 01:26:43.740 We trace my heart to see you crying. 01:26:43.740 --> 01:26:46.740 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 01:26:46.740 --> 01:26:48.740 Actors Company indeed. 01:26:48.740 --> 01:26:55.740 Music 01:26:55.740 --> 01:26:57.740 Well darlings that's our show for this week. 01:26:57.740 --> 01:26:59.740 We're now for New York again. 01:26:59.740 --> 01:27:02.740 Where we'll bring you next week Sunday Christmas Eve. 01:27:02.740 --> 01:27:04.740 And what a load of presents we'll distribute. 01:27:04.740 --> 01:27:07.740 Jimmy Durante, Burt Lahr, Robert Merrill, Margaret O'Brien, 01:27:07.740 --> 01:27:12.740 Edith Pia, Fran Warren, Ed Wynn, and Meredith Wilkins with the big show Oxford Chorus. 01:27:12.740 --> 01:27:16.740 And we are dedicating our Christmas Eve show to all our men in uniform all over the world. 01:27:16.740 --> 01:27:20.740 Until then darlings. 01:27:20.740 --> 01:27:27.740 May the good Lord bless and keep you. 01:27:27.740 --> 01:27:32.740 And may the Lord bless you. 01:27:32.740 --> 01:27:35.740 The big show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All Star Festival. 01:27:35.740 --> 01:27:37.740 Has been brought to you by your local forefeet. 01:27:37.740 --> 01:27:40.740 Who's now displaying the new 1951 Ford. 01:27:40.740 --> 01:27:42.740 A car that's built for the years ahead. 01:27:42.740 --> 01:27:44.740 By RCA Victor, world leader in radio. 01:27:44.740 --> 01:27:47.740 First to recorded music, first in television. 01:27:47.740 --> 01:27:52.740 By Chesterfield, the only figure that combines mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste. 01:27:52.740 --> 01:27:54.740 And by the makers of Amethyst. 01:27:54.740 --> 01:27:58.740 A fast relief for pain of headaches, neuritis, and ur alza. 01:27:58.740 --> 01:28:25.740 Martin and Lewis appeared to the courtesy of Hal Wallis, producer of Dark City.