You're about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in showbiz.
For the next hour and 30 minutes, this program will present in person such bright stars as...
Fred Allen, Robert Cummings, Lorraine Day, Jimmy Lorrainey, Leo DeRosier, Portland Harper, Judy Holliday, Frankie Lane, Jane Pickens, Meredith Wilton, and my name darling, Mr. Lula Bankhead.
The National Broadcasting Company presents, The Big Show.
So let's dance America, the crazy love America, we're going to build your father for a star.
The Big Show, 90 minutes with the most intimidating personalities in the entertainment world.
Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's All Star Festival.
And here is your hostess, the glamorous, unpredictable, Lula Bankhead.
Well darling, we have just finished 13 weeks of The Big Show and each show an hour and a half.
Now you won't believe this I'm sure, but I just found out there are shows on radio that are only one half hour each.
Well I knew you wouldn't believe it darling.
Well on this show it takes a half an hour just to mention the names of the stars.
Well as a matter of fact, we thought we would save time by just referring to our stars by their initials you know, like Durante, Allen, and Holliday would be DAH.
But we gave that up because on next week's show we were thinking of having Cantor, Burle, and Sinatra.
I waited for you darling.
So you can see why using initials is out.
Out? What do you mean out? You know here it's safe by a mile.
Lila De Rosa.
Okay De Rosa, summer down, summer down. You're not managing the Giants now at the Polo Ground.
Well I'm sorry but you said out in certain words and fake for all why they upset me. I lose my head.
Yeah I know, a word like umpire for instance.
I think it's lovely awful the way you treat the umpires.
Me? I don't bother the umps.
Oh not much you don't. Why is it the minute the umpires walk out before every game you make everybody at the Polo Ground stand up and sing, okay can you see?
Well you know me Lila, baseball's in my blood.
Yeah I thought you looked rather lumpy.
Now tell me Leo, we Giants fans have been waiting 14 long years now. How does the pennant look this year?
Uh looks the same, it's powder blue and it kind of tapers off to a point and I uh.
Leo I know what it looks like darling. I've seen plenty of pennants at Ebbett Field.
And I'm going to see one flying over the Polo Ground this year, am I?
That's a baby!
Well hello just give me one more good long ball hitter and we'll win that pennant quicker than you can say Jackie Robinson.
We can use him too.
No but honestly Leo don't you think hoping to win a pennant this year's aiming uh too high.
Too high? Why that ball was right over the, what do you mean too high?
Oh darling I'm so sorry I used another word that upset you. Down boy easy now easy.
Look Lila I'm not interested in talking baseball. This is my racket. That's what I'm interested in, acting.
Ah acting you?
Just a minute why the emphasis on you. This may surprise you but I'm booked to star in my first play this summer and it's going to be a hit.
Oh your first play is going to be a hit?
Yes and then I'm going into my third play.
Then you're going from your first play to your third?
Sure with a hit anybody can go from first to third.
So you're an actor. Does Lorraine know about it?
Lorraine who?
Lorraine Day your wife.
Oh that Lorraine Day.
Yes that Lorraine Day. You remember me?
Oh hello honey.
Applause
Lorraine darling what is this routine about Leo wanting to become an actor?
Yes I know. Leo be mayor we call him around the house.
You know what he does Tallulah. He won't let me go to many ball games.
He makes me stay home and catch him on television so I can tell him how good his acting was when he went out on the field to argue with an umpire.
I'd like to see Dr. Kildare do as well.
Oh tell me Lorraine do you get upset darling when you see Leo go out to argue with an umpire?
Oh no not anymore. The minute I see him walk out I start getting dinner. I know he'll be home early.
Baby you must have early dinners quite often.
Well when the Giants play a doubleheader we sometimes have dinner as early as two o'clock in the afternoon.
Ah wait a minute Lorraine. Don't go giving the impression that I fight with all the umpires.
Well no not all of them. Much to my surprise Tallulah one night last week Leo came home with an umpire after the game. We had him for dinner.
Yeah served on a platter with a baseball in his mouth. Boy was he tasty.
Yes that was the first umpire that ever agreed with Leo.
It must be very exciting being married to a man in baseball.
Well it's like being married to a man in any other business.
I talk to the players wife and they tell me what kind of a day their husbands had at the polo grounds.
Like Eddie Stanky's wife she calls me very proudly and says Eddie had a very good day today.
He walked, he singled, he crippled and he was hit on the head by a pitched ball.
I wish the women would stay out of my baseball business. They always talk a good game. I'd like to see them out there playing it.
If that's an offer you can sign me now.
You?
Why the emphasis on you?
You wouldn't even know what to do. Now look if you were on third base and we needed one run to win it's the last of the night.
There's one out, Lockman bunts, the pitcher comes in for the ball. Now how would you get home?
Well the same way I always get home darling I take a taxi.
Ah pretty smart darling Ralph this will stop you. Suppose it's raining and you can't get a taxi.
Well this will stop you Buster. When it's raining they don't play ball.
That ought to take care of him. Thanks Tallulah it's good to see somebody win an argument with Leo for a change.
Well I must say the rain that being the wife of a stormy baseball manager doesn't seem to have changed you very much.
You still have that fresh lovely scrub look.
Why shouldn't I look scrub? Every time we have an argument Leo sends me to the showers.
Wait a minute Mrs. DeRozier Tallulah will start believing we do nothing but argue.
Oh no I won't you make a wonderful couple darling especially you Lorraine.
I know I know so well you two will stick together through fair weather and foul.
Oh what do you mean you knucklehead that ball was fair by a mile.
Come on Leo before you get thrown out of the program. Come on I'll make you a nice bowl of that breakfast of champions.
Oh I don't want that stuff again I ate it all last year and look where we finished.
Applause
Hello Miss Bicet.
Oh hello Portland Harper.
I'm on your program today Miss Bankhead.
Yes I know.
I don't have anything to say for ten more pages.
So what are you doing here now darling?
I just thought I'd tell you I was here so you won't be surprised when I show up later.
Well I'll try not to be darling thanks for the warning.
People wandering in and out no discipline.
And now ladies and gentlemen we hear a bright gay marching tune from a show which had a three year run and is now back again on Broadway.
The song the new Asmolion Marching Society and Students Conservatory Band and the show of course Where's Charlie.
Now Merriam Wilson his big show often chorus if you please.
Here they come with the sunlight on the trumpet.
Here they come with the banners flying high.
In my throat there's a lumpy sort of feeling.
And a bright gleam of pride in my heart.
Here they come with the clarinet so wailing.
Here they come rather bravely up the square.
And I know in a moment I'll be cheering.
And my blinds and the hatchets will be high in the air.
On the new Asmolion Marching Society and Students Conservatory Band.
Yet the new Asmolion would have been Napoleon if all the deadly instruments in hand.
There are those who favor the bill of unexplained love to be the biased in the land.
In the new Asmolion Marching Society and Students Conservatory Band.
Oh they march, oh they fight me out of pitfall.
Oh they fight, oh they fight, just the trifle out of tune.
And there is just a suggestion in the opo of the sound of an army's balloon.
Oh the trumpet's a little independent.
And the drummer is not exactly joy.
Still the old cowling spirit is upon me.
And I dance every time at the top of my voice.
Oh the trumpet's a little independent.
And the drummer is not exactly joy.
Still the old cowling spirit is upon me.
And I dance every time at the top of my voice.
Oh the trumpet's a little independent.
And the drummer is not exactly joy.
Still the old cowling spirit is upon me.
Applause
Imelda darling that was just the pick me up I needed.
Thanks for the lift.
And here we come now to another lift.
Two weeks ago, ladies and gentlemen,
our program was graced for the presence
of a brilliant young actress who entertained us
with an excerpt from a Columbia picture,
Born Yesterday, in which she starred
with Roderick Crawford and William Holden.
She was such a success on our show,
we invited her back to do another scene
from that hit picture.
And here she is, Miss Judy Holiday in Born Yesterday.
Born Yesterday is the story of a wealthy gentleman,
Harry Brock, his dumb but beautiful girlfriend,
Billy Doyle, and the young Washington newspaper man,
Paul Berro, hired by Brock to give Billy an education.
Well, I seen open the living room of Brock's
expensive Washington Hotel apartment.
Billy is having her education feathered
by more than conscientious Paul.
You think I'm getting smarter, Paul?
Certainly. Now, let's see.
Who said this?
The proper study of mankind is man.
I don't know.
You should.
Why?
I told you.
I forgot.
It was Pope.
The Pope?
No, not the Pope, Alexander Pope.
The proper study of mankind is man.
Mankind is man, because that means women too.
Yes.
Yes, I know.
I've been studying different mankind lately,
like the ones you told me,
Thomas Jefferson last week and this week, Tom Paine.
And all by myself, I got to thinking about Harry Brock.
He works so hard to get what he wants, for instance,
but he doesn't know what he wants.
More of what he's got, probably.
Money.
Money, more people to push around, money.
Oh, he's not so bad as you think he is.
I've been looking for you too.
Hello, Harry.
We were just talking about you.
Yeah?
Well, that ain't what I pay you for.
Billy knows enough about me now.
Too much, in fact.
Well, we're right ahead, smartener up.
Excuse me while I take my shoes off.
All right, Billy, what did you find out about Tom Paine?
Oh, he was quite a fella.
Where was he born?
You remember?
Yes, London.
England, some place like that.
What do you mean, London or England?
It's the same thing.
It is?
London isn't England.
It's a city, London.
England's a whole country.
I forgot.
Boy, oh boy, Bill, you've got some patience.
Take it easy.
How can anybody get so dumb?
We all can't know everything, Harry.
Who's Tom Paine, for instance?
What?
You, honey, Tom Paine.
Why do I care who he is?
I know.
You're so smart.
Who was Rabbit Moranville?
Who?
Rabbit Moranville.
I don't know any rabbits.
Rabbit Moranville, he's a baseball player.
He used to play shortstop for the Braves, didn't he?
мне$%$%$!
Who's Willie Hoppe?
National billionaire champion.
And it pronounced Hoppie.
That's what I said.
Anyways, I didn't ask you.
I asked her.
All right.
Billy, shall we go on with Tom Paine?
Oh, hold the phone.
What's the peninsula?
Don't give me that.
I said cool.
I mean, I shh!
You think you know so much?
What's the pronunciation?
It's the kind of a...
Nacho!
It's that new medicine!
It is not!
It's that new medicine!
It is not!
It is not!
It is not!
It is not!
It is not!
What then?
It's a body of land surrounded on three sides by water.
So what's that to know?
So what's this, this, this, this, this,
this Sampagne to know?
There's some difference between Tom and a champagne.
Tom's name practically started this whole country.
You mean he's dead?
Of course.
Hey, fellow, what do you mean,
learner about dead people?
I just want to know how to act with live people.
Education's pretty hard to control, Harry.
One thing leads to...
Why can't I, will you, not me?
No extra charge.
I don't need nothing you can tell me.
Now the more I see you, I don't like you as much.
But Jumper's got no pleasure, pretty fresh.
You better watch out, I got an eye on you.
All right, let's both watch out.
If I want it, I can not get black or if I want it.
Yes, I know.
All right then, just go ahead
and do what you're supposed to, and that's all.
We'll stop for now.
No, no, no, go ahead.
I want to see how you do it.
Not just now, if you don't mind.
I'm gonna go lie down.
You don't realize how hard I work.
How hard some joke?
200 bucks a week and I can't even watch.
You, Londoner Ringlet, why don't you give up?
You know something?
What?
You're not such a big shot.
I used to think so.
No more.
All too history, there's been bigger men than you
and better, now too.
Name one.
My father.
25 a week.
Now listen, cutie, don't get nervous.
Just because you read a book, you're as dumb as you ever was.
You think so, huh?
Yeah, sure.
But I don't mind.
You know why?
Because you're the greatest man.
Don't leave me alone, Harry.
You're the greatest man.
No.
What's the matter, you crazy or something?
Maybe.
I just know I hate my life.
There's a better kind, I know it.
If you read some of these books, you know it too.
I suppose you figure you've been better off
with that lousy saxophone player.
At least he was honest.
It was a dime a dozen chopper.
He worked for a living, that's one thing.
I work, I've been working since I was 12 years old.
Nobody ever give me nothing.
If a man goes and rob the house, that's work too.
I never robbed a house.
What do you think you're talking about?
You can hardly understand anything, can you?
All right, get off that high horse, you dumb little pot.
You!
Man it!
I picked you up out of the gun right
and throw you back there too.
You never had a piece of mail before you met me.
Yeah, but I had to have it with you.
You were terrible, you got no manners.
You take off your shoes off all the time,
that's another thing, you pick up your teeth.
You're just not cool.
I'm as cool as you are.
And that cheap person will play a-
Cheap?
I don't know nothing cheap, except you.
You don't know me.
Nobody can know anybody, there's a law of things.
Ah, don't tell me about the law.
If I was scared of the law, I wouldn't be where I am.
Where are you?
All right, all right, you talk enough.
You don't like it here, do you?
I don't like it here.
You talk enough, you don't like it here, beat it, go on.
You'll be back.
Hey, where you going?
Would you do me a favor, Harry?
What?
Drop dead.
Judy, Judy, how are you, darling?
How wonderful you are.
And also thanks to Martin Blaine's Paul and Ralph Bell
as Brock for a neat assist.
Judy, come here darling, I want to tell you something.
I just want to say how great it is to have you
on the program again.
And all the other talented people who appear with us
to make this a divine hour and a half.
But I can hardly wait until Sunday rolls around each week.
He's so emotional about a radio program.
Well, of course I'm emotional.
I just adore doing this program.
The question that is sent.
The wonderment of watching the show unfold
from its very inception until it becomes
a living breathing thing.
You'd be very rough getting the most
out of a living breathing salad.
Darling, you don't seem to understand my point.
I spend all my time here at the studio,
rehearsing, interviewing people, meeting the guests,
checking the script.
Well, I practically live right here at the studio.
You keep a neat studio.
You should get married.
Married?
I am married to my aunt, to the fella, to my career.
You should get a divorce and marry a fella.
I haven't time for marriage, darling.
I have my radio work to think of.
Radio is my life.
On a cold night, you can't warm your feet
on the back of a microphone.
I'd like to show you how warm one of my feet is right now,
sister.
What are you mad about?
All I said is you should get married.
Maybe you're doing something wrong.
I am doing nothing wrong.
Maybe you should.
Look, in the first place, when you talk,
your voice is too low.
I have always spoken this way.
Sure, that's why you're not married.
You should talk a little higher.
When a fella calls you up and a man answers,
it's you, so he hangs up.
Bad.
My voice is recognized all over the world.
Sure, you talk so loud, they can hear you all over the world.
Hey, where do you buy your clothes?
That dress, for instance.
I buy my clothes at Hattie Carnegie.
I wouldn't mention it to a fella.
You scare them off?
Fella knows you go to Hattie Carnegie,
you pay as high as $25 for a dress at Goodbye Trowel.
And my dear woman, this dress happens to cost $725.
Now you're talking higher.
And you ought to use makeup.
I am using makeup.
So don't.
And you should use perfume.
A fella likes to sniff around.
Judy, darling, I am not interested in these bloodhounds.
You seem to know...
I know a dentist.
Would you like a dentist?
Or maybe a drugist.
How do you like to be a pharmacist, mate?
This is a process, Judy.
I have men throwing themselves at my feet all the time.
I know a seropetist.
How corny can you get?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Judy, where do you meet your friends?
Judy, where do you meet this sordid assortment of men?
It's easy.
You go where men go.
You soupoo.
Like a Bengal answer.
Darling, I appreciate you immensely.
You're trying to find a man for me.
And I know you have a lot of little tricks up your sleeve
that work very well for you.
But as far as I'm concerned, I believe there's a man
for every woman and a woman for every man.
And nobody can improve on that.
If they'll all improve, I'll just get in on it.
Oh, Judy, my dear, with all the strength in my command
and with the sudden nonchalance required
through years of training in the theater,
I say to you calmly and dispassionately
that your brazen incusion on my private life
has brought me to the end of my tele.
You have to go through all that just to say drop dead.
And Robert, change of subject.
Good evening, Tallulah.
Oh, a welcome change of subject.
Ladies and gentlemen, a handsome and talented visitor
from Hollywood, Mr. Robert Dunning.
Oh, Bob, darling, it's so nice to have you on our program.
What are you doing in New York?
Well, Tallulah, I left Hollywood to come here.
Yes, I know.
Do you remember the last time I saw you, darling?
It was in Hollywood, the party at Catherine Hepburn.
Do you remember, Bob?
Well, as a matter of fact...
Oh, what a party that was, darling.
Isn't it the largest one you've ever known?
I said it's the most wonderful party
I've ever attended.
Will you ever forget that wonderful food,
that lovely orchestra, those fabulous people?
Look how she's trying to get a fella.
Oh, Tallulah, let him talk.
Oh, what were you saying, Bob, darling?
Me? Oh, nothing.
I was just telling you about that lovely party
at Catherine Hepburn's in Hollywood.
Only it wasn't Catherine Hepburn.
It was Catherine Cornell, and it was in New York.
Oh, no, darling, it was Catherine Hepburn.
Oh, I'm sorry, Tallulah,
but I'm sure it was Catherine Cornell.
It was Catherine Hepburn.
I will stake my reputation on it.
Well, that's a pretty small stake,
but it was Catherine Cornell.
Oh, you and Clavity.
Tallulah, don't be such a bore.
Let him win.
Oh, well, anyway, Bob, whatever it was,
I remember you were the handsomest man there.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Oh, but you were, darling, really.
I remember saying to everyone there,
I said, Robert Cummings is the handsomest man
at this party.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
All right, darling, I won't.
Now she lets him win.
What do you say you are doing in New York, Bob?
Well, I came here to see some shows.
Have you seen Guys and Dolls, Tallulah?
No, I haven't, but it's simply wonderful,
but I haven't been able to get any tickets.
Have you?
Why, yes, I have two tickets.
I'd love to take you, but the seats aren't together.
Oh, that's all right, darling.
We can meet after the show.
Well, that'll be a little difficult.
One ticket is for Monday, and one's for Wednesday.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Tallulah, laughing is jokes.
No!
Then it's only.
Excuse me, but who's this lovely young lady
directing traffic here?
I'm terribly sorry, Bob.
I thought you knew Judy Holliday.
Judy Holliday?
Well, now this is a thrill.
I saw Borne yes at least half a dozen times.
What a magnificent performance you gave,
and what perfect casting.
No one could possibly have played the part as well as you.
Oh, I don't know.
I've been approached by several producers
who were born yesterday in summer, sir.
Oh, really?
What Billy?
Tallulah Bankhead in born yesteryear.
Dear boy.
You're losing him.
You better mention your money.
Well, I, uh...
I guess I'll just be running along.
Oh, let you go, Bob, but I'm gonna talk to you, darling.
I'll see you later, darling.
So long.
I'll see you later.
The kiss of death.
Well, Julie, you're the slowest worker I ever saw.
Well, Judy, what could I have done?
Stop your things.
You could have dropped your handkerchief.
You could have tried to look taller.
You could have fainted.
Well, Judy, I've been trying to tell you for half an hour
that I'm not interested in,
because I've Robert Cummings happened to be a married man
with a wife and family.
See how slow you are?
I am not interested in your underhanded methods
of getting men.
Why not?
All is fair in love and war.
Fair? What do you mean fair?
That bar was fouled by a mile.
Come back here.
Here they come with the sunlight on the trumpet.
Here they come with the banners flying high.
In my throat there's a lumpy sort of feeling.
And a bright gleam of pride is in my eyes.
Here they come with a clarinet so wary.
Here they come rather bravely up the square.
As I know in a moment I'll be searing.
And my fine Sunday hat will be high in the air
for the new Angmalian Locking Society Institute.
The Cervatory band.
Get the new Angmalian.
You have been listening to Meredith Wilson
and the big show, Ockerson Chorus.
Now it's time for me to ring my time.
Back in a moment, darlings.
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
The big show.
This is the national broadcasting company, Sunday Extravaganza,
with the most scintillating personalities in show business.
The big show, the Sunday night feature of NBC's All-Star Festival
is brought to you by Chester Field,
the cigarette that has for you mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste,
the cigarette that brings you Bing Crosby and Bob Hope,
by the makers of Anison for fast relief from the pain of headache,
urinus, and neuralgia,
and by RCA Victor, world leader in radio,
first in recorded music, first in television.
The big stars in this program are Fred Allen,
Robert Cummings, Lorraine Day,
Jimmy Durante, Leo DeRosier,
Portland Hopper,
Judy Holliday, Frankie Lane,
Jane Pickens, Meredith Wilson, and the big show,
Orchestra and Chorus,
and every week, your hostess,
the glamorous, unpredictable,
Tallulah Bankhead.
Well darlings, it's amazing how the big show has caught on.
Now this week, there's a lovely article in Red Books,
and in Look Magazine, it's tremendously out of photographs.
And you should read some of the wonderful things they say.
Well I hope you won't think darlings that I'm being immodest or boasting,
but I simply must quote one of the entrancing things they write about me.
Well here it is.
And here's what it says.
Tallulah is about as sweet and sentimental as a third rail.
Well now that really captures the true me,
which so few people understand.
Sweet and sentimental.
I wonder what a third rail is.
A third rail, Tallulah, is like a third vice president of a radio network.
It's dangerous to cross it.
It's nice to see you again, darling.
Thank you.
Oh, didn't I just read your name and read it to you?
You were discovering antihistamine or taking it or something.
No, no, the only thing I've taken recently, Tallulah, is a new job.
Oh, I'm so happy for you. I could exhaust.
Are you back in radio?
No.
I never gained it. I didn't hear it.
No, I'm not in radio, Tallulah.
I am in the theater at Lowe's 342nd Street.
Well, I must come up and see you sometime, darling.
I adore Vaudville.
It's on the west side, I mean, if you're coming up on your character.
You adore Vaudville?
Well, I'm not exactly in Vaudville.
I used to be in Vaudville with a partner.
My partner would shoot himself out of a cannon, and he used to drink a lot.
Well, one night he was loaded and the cannon wasn't.
And he went off with a bang and the act split up, and from then on I was through with acting.
But darling, you just added you in the theater.
Well, I'm a junior executive.
What is a junior executive?
Well, a junior executive in a movie theater is a man who wears a tuxedo in the daytime
and has the key to the cigarette machine.
Oh, Tallulah, I wish you were there when I was hired.
I was kneeling on the floor in the manager's office.
The manager, a Mr. Robert Cummings, placed his hand on my shoulder after brushing aside the dandruff
and said, Alan, you are getting this job because you have talent, you have personality,
you have savoir faire, and you happen to be married to my sister.
Yes, sir.
This theater has the finest marquees, the finest lobby, the finest orchestra, the finest loges, the finest pictures.
Please, Alan, no defeatist talk.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry.
Repeat after me.
Movies are better than ever.
Movies are better than ever.
Again.
Movies are better than ever.
Again.
Movies are better.
So how long shall I keep repeating it, sir?
Until they are.
This is going to be a lifetime job, sir.
That all depends.
Yes, sir.
Alan, every picture theater is fully staffed.
Yes, sir.
Today I am creating a position never before known in a motion picture theater.
For me?
Yes, Alan.
You will be our up to man.
Congratulations.
Well, Tallulah, that's how I got the job.
But Fred, tell me, what is an up to man?
Well, I stand in the lobby, you see, and when people rush in late,
I tell them what has happened in the picture up to the time they come in.
Well, I'd like to see how that service works sometimes.
Well, it's really very simple.
I just stand in the lobby wearing a yellow swallowtail coat and seersucker's fat,
and sooner or later, sooner or later, I hear a voice say,
Pardon me, has the picture started?
Oh, you're Portland, aren't you?
Yes, the feature has been on for ten minutes.
What picture is it?
Sunset Boulevard, starring Glorious Wanson, William Holden, and Eric Von Stohrheim.
Now, I'll tell you what you've missed up to now.
As the picture starts, you see a body floating face down in a swimming pool.
Oh, it's that in Luella Parsons' column.
That body got the Academy Award for being the best corpse for 1950.
Yes, it was the best corpse. I heard that.
I read that the actor who played the body floating in the pool is making personal appearances now.
He comes out on the stage and lies down flat on his face so people will recognize him from the picture.
If they don't get it right away, he drips a little as he flies.
What else happens in Sunset Boulevard?
Well, they fish the body out of the pool and send for a specialist.
You know what a specialist is.
Oh, a specialist is a doctor who has trained all his patients to be sick only during office hours.
That's true. That's a specialist.
I think you'd better go in, Portland, before your popcorn cools off.
Well, I hope this picture's better than that Western picture you had last week.
Well, I wasn't working here last week. I was picketing outside. I missed the picture.
I'm inside this week working.
Are you lucky?
Really?
As the picture starts, Robert Mitchum is a little boy whose parents are killed,
and he lives with Marjorie Main and her two children who later grow up to be Teresa Wright and introducing John Rodney.
Introducing John Rodney? You mean this is his first picture?
Yes. Well, war is declared against the Indians, and Robert Mitchum goes to fight Sitting Bull and his standing army.
Well, what happens to introducing John Rodney?
Oh, introducing doesn't go.
Oh, introducing doesn't go.
Well, does the picture have a happy ending?
Oh, yes. Introducing gets killed.
That was a short introduction, wasn't it?
Robert Mitchum and Teresa Wright get married, and Sitting Bull is in the hospital in an oxygen wigwam.
Oh, an oxygen wigwam for sick Indians. You didn't like this picture, eh?
I wouldn't even like it when they showed it on television.
Well, it'll be another week or so.
And I like most westerns because I like to ride horseback.
Oh, you ride horseback, do you?
Oh, I always ride side saddle.
Well, why side saddle?
That way I save a little place where I can sit down the next day.
Well, Salula, you see, that's how it goes in the lobby.
Oh, darling, it must be costly standing around the lobby all day explaining about that dead body floating in the swimming pool.
Face down, too. Well, I'm the up two man and I have a job to do.
An up two man has other problems to do.
You know, when the theater's crowded and the ushers are busy, sometimes I hear this.
Hey, buddy, my name is DeRosier and this is my wife. How about two seats together?
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. DeRosier, I have two seats, but they're not together.
All right, honey, if we're not going to sit together, split the Hershey bar and give me my half.
You and your big fat Hershey bar. You're impossible.
Go ahead, say it. Say you hate me.
I won't say I hate you, but my admiration for you is under control.
Now, folks, folks, please, no fighting in the lobby, please.
Who's fighting?
Well, you two are twitting each other and twitting invariably leads to fisticuffs.
Ah, there's an old saying, five lady fingers do not make a fifth.
Go ahead, Leo, shake the battery out of his flashlight.
Now, just a minute, with that tuxedo...
With that tuxedo, you'll have to go on the balcony.
Mr. DeRosier, don't you dare strike.
Strike! I immediately, that was right over the plate.
Well, that gives you an idea, Tallulah.
Oh, Fred, those troublesome types must say you're nerdy.
Well, what can I do? I'm employed. I just have to stand there and take it.
But it's dark in those theaters. Can't you step on their feet or
back them into the drinking fountain to dampen their ardor or something?
Oh, it's aggravating. Yesterday I was standing there and I heard someone say...
Cadet!
Ah!
Could you help me right away, please? It's urgent. My name is Judy Holliday.
Well, what's wrong, Miss Holliday?
Well, I lost my son. He's a boy.
Ah!
What does your little boy look like?
Oh, well, he's six years old and he's stuck on a lollipop.
Well, how could you lose a boy six years old?
It's possible. I did it.
I see.
He was sitting in the next seat. And when Sunset Boulevard started,
I seen the body floating in the swimming pool. I fainted. I'm a very heavy fainter.
Oh, you...
I wonder the thud didn't bring you too when you heard the...
Well, when you came to...
Eric Von Stilheim was on the screen. My little boy was gone.
Also the lollipop.
Well, I'll page the little boy. What's his name?
I don't know.
You don't know your own child's name?
Well, he's crazy for movie stars. Every week he takes the name of one of the stars in the picture he's seeing.
Oh, very well, madam. I'll page him.
Eric Von Stilheim, your mother wants you. Paging Eric Von Stilheim.
Your mother's looking for you. Eric Von Stil...
Well, I'm sorry, madam. He doesn't answer.
Hey, that up there in the next aisle is pointing at you.
I'll see what he wants. Yes, Cuthbert.
My poor little boy is lost. My dog, my angel. When I find him, I'll kill him.
Laughter
Madam, I think we have a clue.
A little boy walked up to the usher in the next aisle and said,
Got a message for Gloria Swanson?
That's my little boy. Gloria! Gloria Swanson!
Laughter
Well...
Kalula is an up-to-man. That's what I've been going through.
Oh, Fred, you'd better give up your job in that movie theater.
With all those mad people around, you won't be safe.
Hey, he was out on my... What do you mean safe?
Leo Penn!
Applause
And now, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to two favorites of ours, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.
Say, Bing, you got a minute?
Oh, sure, Bob. I've got all the time in the world.
Don't tell me you own that, too.
Never mind that stuff. Get to work with it.
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And now, darlings, a return engagement on the big show of A Loveable Man with a Divine Voice.
Frankie Lane singing the title song from his latest Columbia picture, Sunday's Saturday Street.
Well, if you're cold and get your hat, your worries on the doorstep,
Just direct your feet over to the sunny side of the sea.
Can't you help it up past? All I'd be doing is yourself.
Life can be so sweet on the sunny side of the street.
Now I used to walk around in the shade with all those blues on parade.
But now I'm not afraid, because I'm a rover who has come told if I never have a sense,
I'm gonna be rich as a rossapella, pull us at my feet on the sunny side of the street.
So grab your coat, get your hat, leave your worries on the doorstep,
Just direct your feet over to the sunny side of the sea.
Can't you help it up past? All I'd be doing is yourself.
Life can be so sweet on the sunny side of the street.
Now I used to walk around in the shade with all those blues on parade.
But now I'm not afraid, because I'm a rover who has crossed over.
And if I never have a sense, I'm gonna be rich as a rossapella, pull us at my feet on the sunny side of the street.
On the sunny side, on the sunny side of the street.
Applause
Thanks Frankie darling, that just happens to be one of my very favorites.
Now run along pretty, I want to ask you something about some records I made a few weeks ago.
Oh by the way, I hear you make records too.
Oh, I've made a couple or three Tallulah.
My records are selling very well.
Yeah? How many records have you sold?
Well, count me the one I hope to sell you tonight darling, 59.
59? Is that all you sold?
Well, my records only been out 12 weeks.
I've been making a copy of the popularity code of last week's recordings and mine is already 412.
There's only one behind Ajax, the foaming cleanser.
Well, it's really getting up there by creeps and bounds isn't it?
Oh yes, because not only are people enjoying playing the record, but it also makes a charming cocktail drink.
That's a very novel idea.
What is the recording Tallulah?
Well, on one side it's I'll be seeing you and on the other side it's you go to my head.
That must be the side you serve the cocktails on.
With the drinks I serve darling, I'll be seeing you is the better side.
In which case I would probably be seeing two of you.
You know, I never thought of doing that with our records.
Is yours the unbreakable record or the breakable kind?
Well, for some strange security reason everybody insists on mine being the breakable kind.
What kind of your record Frankie?
Well, we sell all kinds.
How many have you sold?
Well, when we made new train it sold over a million.
Over a million?
That's right.
Oh well, you must be selling them to strangers.
Well, of course you're going to sell them to strangers.
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Music
And here now, ladies and gentlemen, one of the great, greatest
singing actresses of the American theatre, a young lady who is heavenly to look upon
as she is to listen to the talented Miss Jane Pickens.
Applause
Jane has brought to us a wonderful novelty.
She is first going to sing, I Can't Give You Anything But Love,
as it was originally written, and then sing it as it might have been written
by the operatic composer Richard Wagner.
Miss Jane Pickens.
Music
Dream of what, dream of what you're sure to find.
Happiness and I guess all the things you always find for.
Yes, I'd like to see it looking swell.
Baby, diamond coupling, the world doesn't say.
Baby, till that lucky day, you know darn well, baby.
I can't give you anything but love.
And now, as it might have been written by Wagner.
I can't give you anything but love, baby.
Music
Baby, dream of what, dream of what you're sure to find.
Oh, I can't give you anything but love.
Applause
Thank you, Jane Pickens.
That was pretty good.
And now let's get on to our next person.
Just a minute, Tallulah, just a minute.
Yes, sir.
I happen to hear that, your reaction to Jane's song.
That was pretty good, Jane Pickens, and that quick brush off.
I think I know what foaming, foal-mented.
Foal-mented, the, uh, my life.
Oh, did by your own petard, Miss Bar.
I didn't know there was a petard on the premises.
As long as you had one, I thought I might as well use it, Tallulah.
But I think I know what foal-mented this, uh, attitude of simulated peak, I might say.
Tallulah, do you remember a Broadway play called The Little Foxes in which you starred?
I do.
And you, Miss Pickens, do you remember they made a musical play of The Little Foxes,
and they called it Regina, and you sang the Tallulah Bankhead role?
I do.
I now pronounce you Jake Lamarter and Sugar Ray Robinson.
Now, girls, you know the NBC rules.
I want to see a good, dirty fight, no punches, bar.
And may the most vitriolic participant emerge victorious.
Now shake adjectives and come out scratching.
I don't know what he's talking about, Jane.
Neither do I, Tallulah.
We've always been very friendly, haven't we, darling?
Of course, my sweet.
Well, as a matter of fact, I saw you dining at the store club this two or three times last week,
and I nodded to you, but you didn't see me.
Yes, I know.
Trying to start an argument between us just because I starred in a play that ran over a year on Broadway,
and you were the musical version that ran a pitiful seven weeks.
We had a lot to overcome, dear.
You were associated with the play so long,
people were staying away because they thought you were doing the singing.
Darling, when I was a little child living down on my plantation,
my family spent a fortune cultivating my voice.
They should have planted taters, and they should have planted cotton.
Really? Didn't you once do a singing sister act, honey?
Yes, I used to sing with my sister Patty.
Patty, of course. And which one were you, darling?
Maxine of La Verne.
You're thinking of the Andrews, Sister Tallulah.
At a time like this, why not?
Tallulah, didn't I see you on television last night?
Or is something wrong with my set?
I wouldn't be keen in your set.
Who says, sugar?
Sugar? Did you say, sugar, sugar? Where are you from?
Oh, honey, I'm from Georgia.
Well, Sister Fakin's, I'm from Alabama.
I know, honey child, and I was wondering how you'd let that Yankee Allen
come between us two southern veils.
Why, Allen, there's nothing but no carpet bagger.
Of course he isn't.
I can see the bags under his eyes from here.
And honey child, if you look closer, you can see the carpet still rolled up in him.
Imagine trying to start an argument between us.
What a lulah. You know I wish you all the things you wish for me.
How dare you!
Applause
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Well, darlings, in just a moment we'll have our beloved Jimmedy Rancher with us.
Also, Bob Cummings and I are going to do a scene from Private Lives,
and Judy Holliday is coming back, but first, Ed Herlihy would like to say...
...that this portion of the program was brought to you by Chesterfield, the cigarette that has for you mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste,
the best cigarette for you to smoke, by the makers of Anison for fast relief from pain of headache,
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Now, Tallulah, if you'll ring your chime.
I'd love to, Ed. This, darlings, is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
This is the big show, and Tallulah is about to have a tethered tent with a handsome, dapper, debonair young man about town.
I resemble that remark.
Jimmedy Rancher!
Jimmy, my pet, how do you do it? How do you manage to do so many things and still look so healthy?
Well, cadoodle.
I'll tell you, I've been reading the book. Look younger, live longer.
You mean you've actually been eating wheat germs, black-strapped molasses, and yogurts?
Yep, that's all I've been eating. It don't make you live longer, it just seems longer.
Well, that's very helpful food, Jimmy. It sticks to your ribs.
Yeah, but on the outside.
And very becoming, Jimmy. Now, how did you get started on this self-doubt? Did the doctor tell you to watch what you eat?
In them cafeterias where I go, you've got to watch what you eat or somebody else will be eating it.
Well, now Jimmy, tell me some more about that look younger, live longer book. Does it really work?
Does it work? A friend of mine ate that stuff for three weeks and when he died he looked like a kid.
Well, that diet has certainly done wonders for you, my darling.
Oh, it ain't only the diet to do. I also take deep breathing. I inhale a long deep breath from my nose, using only one nostril apart.
Other people have got to breathe too.
Then I go to my doctor and he gives me a shot of vitamin.
A vitamin B1?
I'm way past B1. I'm smart. Last year I was up to B12. Then I graduated to B24. That made me feel twice as good.
And when he gave me a B29, boy, I was really flying.
Oh, I got more.
And just before dinner I take the short stroll through Central Park as a pick-me-up.
And wherever I go it seems like there's always a girl to pick me up.
Well, naturally, darling.
Naturally, for suit.
Now somewhere there's a fly in everyone's ointment, but mine seems much more serious than the rest.
My romantic life with girls has been a disappointment, and folks, I've got to get it off my chest.
I know some guys make an impression giving girls a limousine, but with me it's not so easy.
Let me tell you what I mean.
My girlfriends don't want my money. All they're after is me.
How mischievous can be? A slight little nod or look at my curls will get me more girls than diamonds and pearls.
Honest folks, it isn't funny. I'm embarrassed, you see.
I'd pay my own share, but gee, wherever I go I don't spend a dime.
They don't want my dough, they want my time. Why, there's happiness. There's bedlam every time I roll my eyes.
Why was I born with so much more than other guys?
Yes, they'll have to grin and bear it. I don't want sympathy.
Now a fella can make a buck as long as he may live, but a guy like me, there's just so many kisses I can give.
Girls, won't you take my money and these poor little meatbeats?
Ah folks, I really got a problem and it's getting pretty serious.
How can one man have so much and conceal it so well?
Why, only the other day Rita Hayward offered me a thousand dollars for a lock of my hair.
Betty Grable offered me three thousand for a lock of my hair.
Greg Garson offered me five thousand for a lock of my hair.
What a dilemma. Just when I can make a fortune, I run out of merchandise.
Girls, won't you take my money and these poor little meatbeats? Yes, sir, and these poor little meatbeats.
Jimmy, Jimmy darling, we'll all live longer and look younger as long as we have you and your songs around.
And now darlings, I can throw away my script because we are going to do for you now an excerpt from a Noah Coward play I had the pleasure of doing a few years ago.
I refer, of course, to private life. The only part of my private life I don't mind making public.
And here to appear with me is Robert Cummings.
Private life is the story of two newlywed couples honeymooning in France. A capricious fate has guided them to adjoining suites in the same hotel.
On one terrace overlooking the sea, nostalgic with memories induced by a certain song, sits one bride, Amanda Prent.
On the adjoining terrace, equally affected by the song, sits one bridegroom, Elliot Chase.
Perhaps the song reminds them that not so very long ago they were married to each other.
Oh, come true, they love me true. Someday I'll find you honey.
Oh no, it couldn't be. Thoughtful of them to have prayed that, wasn't it?
What are you doing here? I'm on my honeymoon. How interesting, so am I. I hope you're enjoying it. It hasn't started yet.
Now there is mine. Oh no. I can't help to feel that this is a little unfortunate. Are you happy?
Perfectly. Good. That's all right then, isn't it? Are you? Ecstatically. I'm delighted to hear it. Well?
Oh, for goodness sake, give me a cigarette. Oh, of course. Oh, what are we to do? I don't know.
Wonder who's yuck that is. The Duke of Westminster, as I expect, it always is. I wish I were on it. I wish you were too.
There's no need to be nasty. Yes, there is every need. I've never in my life thought a greater urge to be nasty.
And you've had some urges in your time, haven't you? If you start bickering with me, Amanda, I swear I'll throw you over the edge.
Sure, try it. That's all. Just try it. You upset everything, as usual. I've upset everything. What about you?
Ever since the first moment I was unlucky enough to set eyes on you, my life has been insupportable.
Oh, do shut up. There's no sense in going on like that. Nothing's any use. There's no escape ever.
Don't be melodramatic. You want a cocktail? There's two here. There's two here, truly.
Well, let's have my two first. Shall we get roaring, screaming drunk?
I don't think that would help. We did it once before. It was a dismal failure. It was lovely in the beginning.
You have an immoral memory, Amanda. Here's to you.
I'd try to get away the moment after I'd see you, but you wouldn't budge.
What's his name? Victor, Victor Prin.
To Mr. and Mrs. Victor Prin.
Mine wouldn't budge either.
What's her name?
Sybil.
Mr. and Mrs. Ellie Chase.
Haven't pretty the poor girl. What's she like?
Oh, fair. Very pretty. Oh, plays the piano beautifully.
Very comforting.
How's yours?
I'd rather not discuss it.
Well, it doesn't really matter. He'll probably come popping out here in a minute and I shall sleep it myself.
Does he know I'm here?
Oh, yes, I told him.
It's going to make things a whole lot easier.
Oh, you need to be frightened. He won't hurt you.
If he comes near me, I'll scream the place down.
Does Sybil know I'm here?
Oh, no, no. I pretended I had a presentiment. I tried terribly hard to persuade her to leave for Paris.
I tried, too. It's lucky we didn't both succeed, isn't it?
Otherwise we should probably all have joined up in a roux or somewhere.
In some frothy little hotel.
That would have been much, much worse.
I can see us all now sailing down in the morning for an early start.
Oh, lovely, lovely.
Oh, lovely.
Oh, dear.
What's happened to yours?
Oh, didn't you hear her screaming? She's downstairs in the dining room, I think.
Mine's being grand in the bar.
It's really awfully difficult.
Have you known her long?
Oh, about four months. We met at the house party in Norfolk.
Very flat, Norfolk.
How old is dear Victor?
Thirty-four, thirty-five, and civil?
Well, I'd blush to tell you. Only twenty-three.
Oh, you've gone a-mucker all right.
I shall reserve my opinion of your choice until I have met dear Victor.
I wish you wouldn't keep on calling him dear Victor. It's extremely irritating.
That's how I see him. Dumpy and fair and very considerate with clowns. Dear Victor.
As I said before, I would rather not discuss it.
At least I have good taste enough to refrain from making cheap jibes at civil.
You said Norfolk was flat.
That was no reflection on her.
Unless she made it for her.
Your voice takes on an acid quality whenever you mention her name.
No, I shall never mention the game.
Good. And I'll keep off Victor.
Thank you.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Narrow, insistent little tune.
Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.
What exactly are you remembering at the moment?
The paludello skidding wink in the morning, bright song sunlight, everybody whirling around in vivid colors,
and you kneeling down to put on my skate for me.
You'd fallen on your fanny a few moments before.
It would be strange if you'd have laughed like that. I felt so humiliated.
Poor darling.
You remember waking up in the morning, standing on the balcony, looking out across the valley.
Yes. Blue shadows on white snow, cleanliness beyond belief, high above everything in the world.
How beautiful it was.
It's nice to think we had a few marvelous moments.
A few? We had heaps really, only they slipped away to the background when one only thinks of the past ones.
What fools we were, everyone, at all. What utter, utter fools.
Do you feel that way too?
Of course.
Oh, why did we?
The whole business was too much for us.
We were so ridiculously over in love.
Funny, wasn't it?
Horribly funny.
Selfishness, cruelty, hatred, possessiveness, petty jealousy.
All those qualities came out in us just because we loved each other.
Perhaps they were there anyhow.
No, no. It's love that got us.
The devil with love.
The devil with love.
And yet here we are, starting afresh with two quite different people.
In love all over again, aren't we?
Aren't we?
No.
We're not in love all over again, and you know it.
Good night, Amanda.
Don't be silly. Come on.
I must go and find Sybil.
I must go and find Victor.
Well, why don't you?
I don't want to.
Shameful, shameful of us.
But I've never loved anyone else.
Not even for a minute.
No, no, no. You mustn't. I live to talk. You mustn't.
You love me too, don't you?
There's no doubt about it anywhere, is there?
No, no doubt anywhere.
You look very lovely that night, you know.
This moonlight.
Your skin is clear and cool and your eyes are shining.
You're growing lovelier and lovelier every second I look at you.
You don't hold any mystery for me, darling.
Do you mind?
There isn't any of you that I don't know, remember, and want.
I'm glad, my sweet.
More than any desire, anywhere deep down in my deepest heart, I...
I want you back again. Please.
No, no, no. You're making me cry, don't you think?
Oh, darling, what now?
I don't know.
What now?
I'm utterly lost.
We must think quickly. Oh, quickly.
Or escape.
Together?
Yes, of course. Now, now.
I know. It would break with his heart.
Well, I'm simple too, probably, but they're bound to suffer anyhow.
Think of the torture we'd lead them to if we stayed.
Infinitely worse than any cruelty in the world, pretending to love them and loving each other so desperately.
Oh, Mrs. Sheeran, madness. I'm in habit of not saying where she would go.
I'll go to Paris first. My car's in the garage already.
Oh, we're being so bad, so terribly bad. We shall suffer from this. I know we shall.
Well, it can't be helped.
Darling, all those awful robs all over again.
No, no, we're older and riser now.
Well, what difference does that make, darling? The moment either one of us gets a bit nervy, off we'll go again.
Well, stop shilly-shallying, Amanda.
Well, I'm trying to be sensible.
But you're only succeeding in being completely idiotic.
Idiotic indeed. What about you?
Now, look here, Amanda.
Oh, no, no.
Darling, darling, I... I didn't...
I won't move from here unless we have a compact. A sacred, sacred compact never to quarrel again.
It's easy to make, but it's very difficult to...
No, no, no. It's the bickering that always talks you.
Now, darling, look. The moment we notice we're bickering, either...
Bickering that always talks you.
Now, darling, look. The moment we notice we're bickering, either...
Bickering that always talks you.
Now, darling, look. The moment we notice we're bickering, either...
Oh, I know. We'll invent some phrase or catch word which, if either one of us says it, automatically cuts off all conversation for at least five minutes.
Two minutes, dear, with an option for renewal.
Oh, I don't know what it should be.
Let's see what it should be. I've got it.
Swallow my knife.
That'll do.
Well, come on, come on.
What will you do if we meet out on the way downstairs?
We'll run like stags.
What about clothes?
Well, I've got a couple of bags I haven't unpacked yet.
I've got a small trunk.
Well, send the porter up for it.
Oh, this is terrible.
Oh, come on, come on. Don't waste time.
Well, are we going to leave moats or something?
No, no, no. We'll telegraph from someone on the road.
Oh, no, darling, I don't...
No, I don't. It's a wicked, omin baby I sent to dance.
Kiss me. Oh.
Now would you behave?
Yes, but I...
Solomonizing.
Now, now let's run.
Thank you, Robert Cummings. You were really divine, darling.
And as for you, Tallulah, darling, I'll talk to you when I get home.
I knew I'd wind up one day on this program talking to myself.
Oh, can you?
Yes, Jiminy.
I just had a beastly idea.
How would you like to see me play that scene from Private Lives?
How beastly can you get?
Pretty beastly.
Because Judy Holliday is going to play it with me.
Well, Judy and the Beast.
Go ahead, darling.
This is the story of a boy and girl who are married, but not to each other.
They're sitting on two fire escapes.
The boy and the girl look at each other.
They recognize each other, and in a very stoked-up motion, the girl says...
Yoo-hoo!
Amanda!
Idiot!
What are you doing here?
I'm on my honeymoon. What are you doing here?
I'm on my honeymoon.
How horribly.
Are you happy?
Eh.
What do you mean, eh?
Eh, ecstatically.
Where's your husband?
He's in the room sleeping.
So what are you doing on the fire escape?
The room is on fire.
How chic.
Cigarettes?
Why not?
Match?
No, thanks. I'll give a light off my husband.
Oh, what beautiful music.
Use Ajax, the forming friends of...
Amanda?
Yes, idiot.
You always did have a lovely voice, and you kept a clean sink, too.
How's she, Winsey?
Would you like a cocktail?
Shrimp or tomato juice?
Hey, where's your wife?
She's inside unpacking her wedding tussle.
How touching, Lee. How old is she?
I'd blush to tell you, she's young, only six.
She plays the piano.
Big deal.
What's her name?
Syllable.
Mine's name is Victor. He plays, too.
What instrument?
The son of grass.
Ah, I'll see a Victor. That's my boy.
How awesome.
I feel a nostalgic coming on.
You still got a good band? It's delighted.
Come on inside and lay down.
I was thinking of the time before I was married to Syllable,
and you were married to Victor.
That was before you were married to Reggie,
and I had just left Millicent to elope with Sophie,
while you were leaving Reggie to marry Winston
and that little church on the hill.
That was the day before Evelyn divorced Evelyn.
Remember?
How come you left our Max?
Amanda!
Yes, idiot?
Let's you and me escape down this fire escape together.
I'll go first, and you meet me over at Lowes Pitkin's Theater.
What play in there?
King Solomon Isaac's Mind.
That'll be our password.
King Solomon Isaac's Mind?
I can't go with you. It's all off.
I already seen the picture.
Amanda, you've been an ugly brick to this whole mess.
Ah ha.
Music
Darling, that was a delight. Idiot's delight.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a treat for you.
Meredith Wilson has written a new song,
and when Meredith Wilson writes a new song, that's news,
because this is the same Meredith who wrote our closing theme
for the big show, May the Good Lord's Blessing Keep You.
Now, for the first time anywhere,
Meredith Wilson with the Big Show auction chorus ends
It's Easter Time.
It's an inspiring song that, strangely enough,
begins with the story of a little man who came down from Mars.
Music
A pleasant little fellow came from Mars to pay a visit,
and he remained the whole long winter through.
Each Sunday he'd proceed to a different church and creed,
and he always found himself an empty tomb or tomb.
In fact, he often noticed quite a few.
Yet far from being caring, all his Sundays were inspiring.
Then one sunny day, all innocent indeed,
he tried to pay his normal Sunday visit.
But the church was jammed with people,
from the serer to the steeper.
And the poor, bewildered man cried out,
What is it?
It's Easter Time.
The bells on the hill are ringing,
Ringing once again.
There's a smile on the face of his name,
Your world, that seems to say, Amen.
It's Easter Time.
The bodies are galing,
Gatling, gatling to their throne,
While the folks walk the church as they did so long ago.
And there's a basket on the dining room table
With every Easter egg for all.
And there's a lily in all its glory,
Standing in the hall.
It's Easter Time.
The dawn of the year is shining in the hearts of men,
With the joy and the hope that have risen once again.
It's Easter Time.
And there's a basket on the dining room table
With fancy Easter eggs for all.
And there's a lily in all its glory,
Standing in the hall.
It's Easter Time.
The dawn of the year is shining in the hearts of men,
With the joy and the hope that have risen once again.
It's Easter Time.
A-married, darling, for once I find myself at a loss for words.
Come here.
Maybe this kiss will tell you how I feel.
Oh.
Well, Meredith, how was that?
Well, sir, Miss Bankhead.
Well, sure, after a kiss like that,
I'll take that up with you later, darling.
But there's just about complete silence.
And now we're all off on a plane for Hollywood,
from which point we will bring you our next Sunday.
And our next guest will be next Sunday.
They will include the Andrew sisters, Joan Davis, Judy Garland,
Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, Gato Marx, Gordon McCrae and others,
and of course our very own Meredith Wilson
and the big show, Orchid St. Croix.
Until then, darling, may the good Lord bless and keep you.
Bless and keep you, whether near or far away.
Judy?
May you find that long-awaited golden day today.
Leo?
May your troubles all be small ones,
and your fortune ten times ten, Fred.
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again, Portland.
May you walk with sunlight shining,
and a blue bird in every tree, James.
May there be a silver lining back of every cloud you see.
Good job.
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows,
never mind what mine have been.
Jimmy?
May the good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again, Frankie.
May you long recall each rainbow,
then you soon forget the rain.
May the warm and tender memories be the ones that will remain.
Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows.
Good night, darling.
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.