ONE THOUSAND FAMOUS THINGS 179
A very pretty handful a-sittin" in a string,
Full of beer and impudence, life for anything,
Sittin* in a string there, right under Bendy's nose,
If his message was for sinners, he would make a start on those*
Soon he heard them chaffin': " Hi, Bendy ! Here's a go ! "
" How much are you coppin5 by this Jump-to-Glory show ? *-
" Stow it, Bendy ! Left the Ring ! Mighty spry of you !
Didn't everybody know the Ring was leavin' you ? "
Bendy fairly sweated as he stood above and prayed,
44 Look down, O Lord, and grip me with a strangle-hold ! " he said.
" Fix me with a strangle-hold ! Put a stop on me f
I'm slipping Lord, I'm slippin* and I'm clingin' hard to Thee ! **
But the roughs they kept on chaffin1 and the uproar it was such
That the preacher in the pulpit might be talkin9 double Dutch,
Till a working man he shouted out, a-jumpin' to his feet,
" Give us a lead, your reverence, and heave Jem in the street."
Then Bendy said, " Good Lord, since first I left my sinful ways,
Thou knowest that to Thee alone I've given up my days,
But now, dear Lord JJ (and here he laid his Bible on the shelf)
" I'll take with your permission just five minutes for myself,"
He vaulted from the pulpit like a tiger from a den,
They say it was a lovely sight to see him floor his men ;
Right and left and left and right, straight and true and hard,
Till the Ebenezer Chapel looked more like a knacker's yard.
Platt was standin' on his back, and lookin' at his toes,
Solly Jones of Perry Bar was feelin1 for his nose,
Connor of the Bull Ring had all that he could do
Rakin' for his ivories that lay about the pew.
Jack Ball the fightin' gunsmith was in a peaceful sleep,
Joe Murphy lay across him, all tied up in a heap,
Five of them was twisted in a tangle on the floor,
And Iky Moss, the bettin* boss, had sprinted for the door*
Five repentant fightin.* men, sitting in a row,
Listenin* to words of grace from Mister Bendxgo,
Listenin* to his reverence, all as good as gold,
Pretty little baa-lambs, gathered to the fold.
So that's the way that Bendy ran his mission in the slum.
And preached the Holy Gospel to the fightin* men of Brum,
" The Lord (said he) has given me His message from on highs
And if you interrupt Him I will know the reason why.**
But to think of all your schooling clean wasted, thrown away,
Darned if I can make out what you're learnin* all the day,
Grubbm' up old fairy tales, fillin* up with cram.
And didn't know of Bendigo, the pride of Nottingham!
From Bendy*s Sermm, % Arthur Conan Doyle