1
00:00:11,28 --> 00:00:13,62
Did you hear what I said you know.

2
00:00:16,81 --> 00:00:23,39
Just be the best that Orion I said down
not off it doesn't have to be so long.

3
00:00:23,45 --> 00:00:25,92
You know your grandfather
just can't stand the oyster.

4
00:00:25,93 --> 00:00:28,72
But ensuring in Amiens you said yourself.

5
00:00:28,74 --> 00:00:33,15
I didn't turn on yesterday the
want you to a subject to get

6
00:00:36,04 --> 00:00:40,01
to I never watched cowboy pictures no
more post for employers living here

7
00:00:40,01 --> 00:00:46,76
when you have become a applying. Don't
you love your grandfather. I love him.

8
00:00:46,77 --> 00:00:53,24
Alright but it's no fun here
anymore. Bobby's right.

9
00:00:54,07 --> 00:00:55,17
Jim I didn't hear you coming

10
00:00:55,17 --> 00:01:03,78
and that's because I came in on tiptoes.

11
00:01:05,17 --> 00:01:08,03
Old houses on tiptoe.

12
00:01:08,05 --> 00:01:11,76
But Jim it's just that he's not well
right now I know he's not well.

13
00:01:13,05 --> 00:01:14,07
But this isn't his home.

14
00:01:14,15 --> 00:01:14,99
It's Bobby's home

15
00:01:14,99 --> 00:01:19,75
and it's Dorothy's home because he's sick
they can't live here Jim please don't

16
00:01:19,75 --> 00:01:22,84
hear you. Alice this is no good.

17
00:01:24,32 --> 00:01:27,06
That we're losing our kids because I
don't the man has come to live with us.

18
00:01:27,29 --> 00:01:33,18
But he's my father. He's an old man.

19
00:01:33,43 --> 00:01:36,72
It's all right. Dad I won't make
any noise. It isn't all right.

20
00:01:36,72 --> 00:01:39,85
I want you to make noise. What's
growing up without making noise.

21
00:01:40,02 --> 00:01:44,72
I'm left this is a house for our
children not for I don't make him.

22
00:01:44,87 --> 00:01:46,03
Please not so loud.

23
00:01:46,21 --> 00:01:50,80
He can't stand it when it's loud and he
can't stand the radio when it's loud

24
00:01:50,80 --> 00:01:52,00
and he can't stand T.V.

25
00:01:52,00 --> 00:01:54,19
when It's loud or

26
00:01:54,20 --> 00:01:59,85
when you saw my recording
it was always going to.

27
00:02:00,00 --> 00:02:01,10
Don't you want to

28
00:02:08,79 --> 00:02:10,10
buy him a place to live

29
00:02:18,92 --> 00:02:18,93
a

30
00:02:20,11 --> 00:02:27,23
merry

31
00:02:49,22 --> 00:02:49,27
merry

32
00:03:09,47 --> 00:03:12,68
old age is memories
enclosed in four walls.

33
00:03:14,03 --> 00:03:15,77
But today has little nourishment

34
00:03:15,77 --> 00:03:21,65
and meager appetite for are

35
00:03:24,48 --> 00:03:30,82
old old age is sitting on a bench

36
00:03:31,64 --> 00:03:33,05
and watching life starting by

37
00:03:39,81 --> 00:03:44,69
old age is a lonely meal behind
a plate glass window a window

38
00:03:44,69 --> 00:03:46,16
that looked out upon a busy world

39
00:03:46,92 --> 00:03:53,39
that somehow never took old age into
its reckoning made the steps to steep

40
00:03:54,98 --> 00:03:59,94
the curves to the face to see.

41
00:04:09,13 --> 00:04:14,33
And it separates usefulness from old age
by the hard sharp line of a single day.

42
00:04:25,38 --> 00:04:29,44
There are two basic needs that
time puts upon us something to do.

43
00:04:30,72 --> 00:04:31,59
And a place to live.

44
00:04:38,39 --> 00:04:41,66
Some are lucky through the
continuing of their life's work.

45
00:04:41,76 --> 00:04:46,31
They cross the line into old age with
scarcely an interruption for them.

46
00:04:46,34 --> 00:04:49,35
The thread of life continues
unbroken to its am

47
00:04:51,26 --> 00:04:57,91
but they are the few in the fortunate most
by far passed over the threshold into

48
00:04:57,91 --> 00:05:02,69
old age into a new world of which
they are only dimly aware.

49
00:05:03,64 --> 00:05:05,28
Uncertain and unprepared.

50
00:05:05,51 --> 00:05:10,60
They're confronted as though for
the first time by life's demands.

51
00:05:10,62 --> 00:05:15,32
What will you do here where we live.

52
00:05:16,46 --> 00:05:23,11
How will you spend your days.
Imperative questions demanding answers.

53
00:05:23,13 --> 00:05:24,83
And the answers are hard to come by

54
00:05:27,02 --> 00:05:29,52
but there may be within the
community those with training

55
00:05:29,52 --> 00:05:31,35
and experience who can point the way.

56
00:05:31,72 --> 00:05:37,25
So we thought we'd ask you this question
must come up in lots of families so maybe

57
00:05:37,25 --> 00:05:43,69
you can help us. Can I ask my question
should I call him my husband right

58
00:05:43,69 --> 00:05:47,34
when he said that having my father
live with us is unfair to our children

59
00:05:48,14 --> 00:05:54,69
and to him. You're asking
me to be the judge.

60
00:05:55,47 --> 00:05:57,58
That. We talk to.

61
00:06:01,81 --> 00:06:06,20
Yes I guess you might call it
that then we'll let you decide.

62
00:06:06,21 --> 00:06:10,40
And I'm glad you feel that way but
remember I'm not here is a judge.

63
00:06:11,43 --> 00:06:15,08
I can tell you what our experience has
been what some of the solutions are

64
00:06:16,08 --> 00:06:20,08
but then you have to make up
your own mind. All right.

65
00:06:21,25 --> 00:06:23,06
But there's something I must know.

66
00:06:23,08 --> 00:06:28,43
What's best for my children and my
husband and what's best for my father.

67
00:06:30,03 --> 00:06:36,43
What's best for my father is a question
repeated a thousand times over in many

68
00:06:36,43 --> 00:06:38,40
rooms like this by many people.

69
00:06:39,04 --> 00:06:43,43
Sons and daughters who would be good
children and would be good parents.

70
00:06:44,78 --> 00:06:48,28
And who can find no single time
to travel where they can be both.

71
00:06:52,62 --> 00:06:54,17
What's best for my father.

72
00:06:56,54 --> 00:07:00,88
What are the needs of a proud human being
who comes to live in his children's home

73
00:07:01,81 --> 00:07:04,73
disarranging the orderly in the
stablished pattern of family life.

74
00:07:06,94 --> 00:07:12,80
What about a room privacy a place to
live when there is no room to spare.

75
00:07:22,04 --> 00:07:25,63
What about food the preparation
required by a special diet

76
00:07:26,50 --> 00:07:29,34
when appetites weighed on
the needs of the aging.

77
00:07:32,65 --> 00:07:36,85
What about special care with nursing
which you can't afford to pay for

78
00:07:38,02 --> 00:07:41,73
and time you can't afford to give
except at the expense of home

79
00:07:41,73 --> 00:07:42,06
and family

80
00:07:47,72 --> 00:07:52,05
but about communication between the
young and the old they live together

81
00:07:52,05 --> 00:07:57,29
but have no common language for no effort
has been made to bridge the chasm between

82
00:07:57,29 --> 00:07:59,92
the world of the aged
and the world of the.

83
00:08:00,00 --> 00:08:06,60
Young Brother is this distance wide when
there is no work no responsibilities.

84
00:08:07,56 --> 00:08:12,56
No reason for life for a human being
whose years have been filled with work

85
00:08:12,56 --> 00:08:18,67
and responsibility but what
can be done for this man.

86
00:08:20,30 --> 00:08:22,16
Where can he find the answer to his needs.

87
00:08:23,63 --> 00:08:29,94
I wish there was some simple answer I can
give you there isn't people don't come in

88
00:08:29,94 --> 00:08:36,03
category least of all old people.
Have you talked about this with you.

89
00:08:38,75 --> 00:08:43,23
We haven't talked about it too much since
mother died he hadn't been to well we

90
00:08:43,23 --> 00:08:44,72
haven't talked about it with him at all.

91
00:08:45,98 --> 00:08:49,39
Well our said could we take him in with
us for a while till we can work something

92
00:08:49,39 --> 00:08:49,62
out

93
00:08:50,35 --> 00:08:55,32
that was about eight months ago you said
that's right that's been getting worse every

94
00:08:55,32 --> 00:09:02,04
day now. I know what fibro
and why should it be.

95
00:09:02,06 --> 00:09:08,42
She waits on him and him for
fine for him a respected

96
00:09:08,42 --> 00:09:14,49
and loved parent a worker who lived a
fruitful and useful life and now finds

97
00:09:14,49 --> 00:09:20,83
that life has no further use for him
in a world where so much is being done

98
00:09:21,85 --> 00:09:23,79
is have nothing to do.

99
00:09:28,95 --> 00:09:35,48
Sorry old man. This is nothing new. These
alone in a crowded street and two.

100
00:09:35,48 --> 00:09:40,24
He's alone at home with only ghosts and
memories as dependable companions.

101
00:09:41,94 --> 00:09:46,55
But memories are poor company and
even television needs to be shared.

102
00:09:55,61 --> 00:09:59,01
So to those he loves is the problem.

103
00:10:00,00 --> 00:10:04,85
And for both there is
guilt as well as pain.

104
00:10:05,64 --> 00:10:08,88
Right now he is not well he he needs help.

105
00:10:09,19 --> 00:10:11,33
That's what I that's
problems up the whole works.

106
00:10:11,49 --> 00:10:13,70
You need something we
can't afford to give him.

107
00:10:14,66 --> 00:10:18,77
It's just not fair to your
to the children or to dad.

108
00:10:18,98 --> 00:10:23,22
What else can we do but
sometimes given time

109
00:10:23,22 --> 00:10:26,47
and good will these situations can
be worked out within the family

110
00:10:27,70 --> 00:10:32,75
when they can't the old person is just as
on happy about it as his children in your

111
00:10:32,75 --> 00:10:37,14
case your father's illness may make living
with you on the rise for everybody.

112
00:10:37,22 --> 00:10:43,42
That is it's going to cause too much
friction. If it entails sacrifice necessary.

113
00:10:43,58 --> 00:10:47,86
Perhaps so I'm reasonable. Does that
to him live her that's our right side.

114
00:10:47,93 --> 00:10:52,98
I know how you both feel is there any other
member of your family someplace where

115
00:10:52,98 --> 00:10:57,97
there are growing children perhaps
you know I have a younger sister

116
00:10:57,97 --> 00:11:03,90
but key couldn't her husband's in the Navy
a career man any others maybe you have

117
00:11:03,90 --> 00:11:07,73
some cousins who might why should they need
you could contribute to the expenses of

118
00:11:07,73 --> 00:11:09,81
the household sometimes I really hate

119
00:11:09,81 --> 00:11:14,15
that I look there's one thing
we've been shying away from

120
00:11:14,15 --> 00:11:16,96
and I think we ought to bring
it out in the US I can stand.

121
00:11:17,24 --> 00:11:19,78
I was honey this is something
we have to say you know

122
00:11:20,69 --> 00:11:24,77
but maybe it isn't as bad as you think you
are talking about a place beyond father

123
00:11:24,77 --> 00:11:29,35
to live. I'm talking about our
home and old people's homes.

124
00:11:30,12 --> 00:11:33,84
It's even for you to talk to
you my father is in the prison

125
00:11:33,84 --> 00:11:40,24
that he's going to one of these places
really so bad the picture is a great deal

126
00:11:40,24 --> 00:11:46,14
brighter than it used to be that's of course
it is like living in one's own home in

127
00:11:46,15 --> 00:11:49,43
most cases an enlightened community
can provide the kind of housing

128
00:11:49,43 --> 00:11:51,88
that enables them to live independently.

129
00:11:51,90 --> 00:11:55,47
But it's true that some older people
need the protected environment

130
00:11:55,47 --> 00:11:59,79
and train care that a home for
the aged can get here they are.

131
00:12:00,00 --> 00:12:02,36
Can start a new and satisfying life

132
00:12:02,36 --> 00:12:05,34
and even establish healthier
relations with their children.

133
00:12:06,86 --> 00:12:08,09
There are some very good homes

134
00:12:08,09 --> 00:12:11,32
that could provide a happy solution
feel for them in your family.

135
00:12:11,57 --> 00:12:16,70
He might be the first to agree.
These homes within our means.

136
00:12:17,35 --> 00:12:19,59
Oh yes their average income home.

137
00:12:19,74 --> 00:12:24,40
Of course now days that means social
security pension funds insurance

138
00:12:24,40 --> 00:12:28,77
and also some community support
but there are very few good homes

139
00:12:28,77 --> 00:12:33,20
and they all have long waiting
lists for some starch them.

140
00:12:33,44 --> 00:12:37,37
Thank you ever be enough to go around
public indifference for one thing.

141
00:12:38,21 --> 00:12:41,08
Far too many people still
seem unaware of the fact

142
00:12:41,08 --> 00:12:46,98
that there is such a thing as Old Age
community attitudes for another attitudes of

143
00:12:46,98 --> 00:12:51,72
people like you Mrs Allen who shrink from
what is probably the best solution for

144
00:12:51,72 --> 00:12:54,41
some older people those who for one reason

145
00:12:54,41 --> 00:13:03,35
or another need help particularly
trained help very sought it.

146
00:13:03,37 --> 00:13:07,78
My father would go. And I could make him.

147
00:13:08,52 --> 00:13:10,39
One kind of a place.

148
00:13:12,97 --> 00:13:15,63
Kind of place could be a place

149
00:13:15,63 --> 00:13:18,00
that could make the
difference between these eyes

150
00:13:20,73 --> 00:13:27,01
and these between proximity you

151
00:13:29,14 --> 00:13:34,67
and companionship between useless
withering hand in the hands

152
00:13:34,67 --> 00:13:39,84
that are both you school and
need to put magic places this

153
00:13:39,84 --> 00:13:42,80
that can take the wound and
stated fabric of a life

154
00:13:42,80 --> 00:13:48,43
and we bore it a strong new client
with threads of them being useful.

155
00:13:51,66 --> 00:13:57,82
What kind of place could it be here
within the confines of this pleasant well

156
00:13:57,82 --> 00:13:59,30
appearing house are the ingredients.

157
00:14:00,00 --> 00:14:03,77
That impart to those who live here a
sense of pride in where they live

158
00:14:05,19 --> 00:14:08,92
and to its location close to a good
community and neighbors them to come

159
00:14:08,92 --> 00:14:11,93
and go as they please with easy
communication among friends

160
00:14:11,93 --> 00:14:18,49
and family the pleasant
dairy rooms are clean

161
00:14:18,49 --> 00:14:20,63
and comfortably appointed with a small

162
00:14:20,63 --> 00:14:27,61
but essentially radiance of well being
a bright world to look out on a radio

163
00:14:27,61 --> 00:14:31,75
or television set linens but of fresh

164
00:14:31,75 --> 00:14:37,43
and clean ample drawers space

165
00:14:39,85 --> 00:14:41,13
and the pleasure of a good bed.

166
00:14:42,15 --> 00:14:45,96
There are single rooms for those to whom
privacy equates with personal dignity

167
00:14:47,03 --> 00:14:50,48
and double rooms for married couples
or where two in a room is desirable.

168
00:14:52,35 --> 00:14:57,41
They are at home here living out their
lives together with the special types of

169
00:14:57,41 --> 00:15:00,72
care they need for their
physical well being themselves

170
00:15:03,03 --> 00:15:05,35
and burdening no one.

171
00:15:07,16 --> 00:15:09,66
Old age may be memories
enclosed in four walls

172
00:15:10,46 --> 00:15:14,84
or it may be a zest for living
this day with eyes fixed eagerly

173
00:15:14,84 --> 00:15:16,41
and confidently on all the days

174
00:15:16,41 --> 00:15:22,82
that lie ahead in such a place.

175
00:15:23,00 --> 00:15:29,14
Little things too are important things
like easy access to the telephone

176
00:15:32,07 --> 00:15:38,10
unsupervised use of their own spending
and the assurance that mail is received

177
00:15:38,10 --> 00:15:42,93
and forwarded on the open
they boast of the spirit

178
00:15:42,93 --> 00:15:49,55
and ease the hour by hour round
of everyday living how comforting

179
00:15:49,55 --> 00:15:53,11
to know that special diet
problems are in good hands and

180
00:15:53,12 --> 00:15:59,86
that one is relieved of the worry and
planning in preparation for that.

181
00:16:00,00 --> 00:16:02,34
Eating is no longer a lonely hour.

182
00:16:02,43 --> 00:16:07,95
But a time of pleasant association
dining with friends and companions.

183
00:16:10,41 --> 00:16:14,19
But there are skills and facilities
here to care for the infirmities

184
00:16:14,19 --> 00:16:15,51
that ages a lot of

185
00:16:16,78 --> 00:16:21,08
that ninety year old arms are still
worth fussing over with a friendly

186
00:16:21,08 --> 00:16:22,31
and competent person interested

187
00:16:22,31 --> 00:16:29,06
and happy to do the job ills of
the body are an expect about

188
00:16:29,06 --> 00:16:30,12
part of growing old

189
00:16:30,12 --> 00:16:34,02
and such a place is this they are
not allowed to infect the spirit

190
00:16:34,02 --> 00:16:40,52
and the mind as well there
are dozens of small

191
00:16:40,52 --> 00:16:44,26
apes for slowing steps
for sagging strength

192
00:16:45,02 --> 00:16:51,01
that say more tellingly the
words you are important to.

193
00:16:53,34 --> 00:16:55,68
Is a world for the old
as well as for the young

194
00:17:02,30 --> 00:17:07,22
here in the living room one can proudly
welcome one's family gone other feelings of

195
00:17:07,22 --> 00:17:10,47
guilt and pain because of dependence
and lack of self-reliance.

196
00:17:16,80 --> 00:17:19,23
Now there's pride in one's
children and grandchildren.

197
00:17:20,16 --> 00:17:22,77
There's respect and love
emerging from a new

198
00:17:22,77 --> 00:17:32,40
and better relationship with age

199
00:17:32,40 --> 00:17:35,32
to come increasing needs of the Spirit.

200
00:17:36,37 --> 00:17:38,84
So within this home there is a
place for prayer and meditation.

201
00:17:41,84 --> 00:17:47,46
So do we begin to answer the needs
that time but spawns a place to live.

202
00:17:49,44 --> 00:17:52,73
And something to do nothing.

203
00:17:52,73 --> 00:17:53,32
So burdensome

204
00:17:53,32 --> 00:17:57,14
that it puts unfair demands on the
sometimes limited capacities of age

205
00:17:57,14 --> 00:17:59,95
but rather a chance to work in a group.

206
00:18:00,00 --> 00:18:01,60
And enjoy the companionship

207
00:18:01,60 --> 00:18:08,26
that comes from working living
together a useful absorbing

208
00:18:08,26 --> 00:18:09,00
occupation

209
00:18:09,00 --> 00:18:16,65
that is carried on at one's own pace
creative things useful things to

210
00:18:16,66 --> 00:18:28,00
keep mentors no less engrossing
at eighty than it is at eight.

211
00:18:30,98 --> 00:18:35,71
In such a place recreation is a part of
life not merely a substitute for it as it

212
00:18:35,71 --> 00:18:41,93
is so often among older people playtime
assumes its normal patterns across a chess

213
00:18:41,93 --> 00:18:43,40
board.

214
00:18:43,42 --> 00:18:44,31
On a card table

215
00:18:49,02 --> 00:18:50,29
or over a player's shoulder

216
00:18:53,50 --> 00:18:56,59
and on the light fantastic may
have lost some of its lightness.

217
00:18:56,78 --> 00:19:00,98
It has lost none of the Gayatri
exhilaration and sense of wellbeing

218
00:19:00,98 --> 00:19:02,18
that it brings with

219
00:19:09,04 --> 00:19:11,83
small wonder that personal
appearance has its proud place

220
00:19:12,72 --> 00:19:15,49
and is no less meaningful
of an era silver than

221
00:19:15,49 --> 00:19:22,40
when it was gold in such a
place as this there is trained

222
00:19:22,40 --> 00:19:23,82
and integrated personnel.

223
00:19:24,52 --> 00:19:30,03
Professions and skill and
experience staff or consultant.

224
00:19:30,66 --> 00:19:31,19
Each with

225
00:19:31,19 --> 00:19:36,60
but one overriding concern the well
being of each resident in the home

226
00:19:37,99 --> 00:19:41,49
and to those residents here is
both evidence and assurance

227
00:19:41,49 --> 00:19:47,48
that old age can be a valued period of
life rich in its possibilities worthy of

228
00:19:47,48 --> 00:19:50,35
society's best care protection plan.

229
00:20:01,66 --> 00:20:05,60
The grounds of the home are almost beyond
the brazing so essential are they to

230
00:20:05,60 --> 00:20:09,22
one's peace of mind the sense of
a bond with the living world.

231
00:20:10,61 --> 00:20:14,26
Even to walk out on your own grounds for
an hour of sun is the difference between

232
00:20:14,26 --> 00:20:18,96
being a part of life and being
walled in awaiting death.

233
00:20:21,15 --> 00:20:24,02
The peace of Earth can
add infinite dimension

234
00:20:28,15 --> 00:20:29,57
important to is

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that within this thriving community of old
people they have often a governing body

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of their own elected representatives
truly a body of elder statesmen

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and stateswomen proud of their position
worthy of their responsibilities.

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So does the face of age reflect the world
we make for so can we see in their eyes

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the love and security the
occupation and companionship

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but to be found in a home like this there
are many old people here varied in the

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needs different from one another
as all people are different.

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Some are golden years only. Some
are failing in mind and body.

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But it may be that here in the
course of years. Are you.

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And it takes ingredients of many
kinds to make a home for us all.

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It takes the kind of
planning and preparation

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00:21:33,41 --> 00:21:36,85
that is possible only in a
community that's conditioned to it

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and whose old people are conditioned
to accept it when the need arises.

248
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You don't acquire that kind
of conditioning overnight.

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Just because the calendar
says you're great sixty five

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00:21:48,52 --> 00:21:53,28
or some other arbitrary age you have to
start working on it. Many years before.

251
00:21:55,85 --> 00:21:59,13
Yes I can see that in other words.

252
00:22:00,00 --> 00:22:04,30
Dad should have thought about this conduct
something about it when he was our age.

253
00:22:04,38 --> 00:22:10,11
That's right. He should. And
now may I ask you a question.

254
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What are you doing about it.
What are we doing about it.

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00:22:17,15 --> 00:22:21,72
How can we prepare for all
our years for our children.

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00:22:21,84 --> 00:22:27,52
There's the assurance of a good start up a
score of years of happy constructive you

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all given them by a society.

258
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Well aware of the importance
of such a beginning

259
00:22:34,85 --> 00:22:37,61
but there is movement
there is another need.

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There is the promise of the rich
improve food all day the knowledge

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00:22:43,40 --> 00:22:46,86
that the last twenty years
the gift of modern medicine

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00:22:46,86 --> 00:22:53,59
and science need not be spent
alone unwanted useless.

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Indeed the span of life is poorly built.

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If it does not soundly
reach to the far shore to

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move

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00:23:54,41 --> 00:23:59,94
forward with who's.

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Moving in the

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00:24:05,80 --> 00:24:10,62
mood

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00:24:17,65 --> 00:24:23,22
to who's more in the news with

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poor

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whose home during

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00:24:36,66 --> 00:24:42,04
war.