OLD AND NEW

There's a cry and a shout,
And a deuce of a rout,
And nobody seems to know what they're about,
But the Monks have their pockets all turn'd inside out.
The Friars are kneeling,
And hunting, and feeling
The carpet, the floor, and the walls, and the ceiling.
The Cardinal drew
Off each plum-colour 'd shoe,
And left his red stockings exposed to the view ; 10
He peeps, and he feels
In the toes and the heels ;
They turn up the dishes, — they turn up the plates, —
They take up the poker and poke out the grates,
— They turn up the rugs,
They examine the mugs : —
But, no ! — no such thing ; —
They can't find THE RING !
And the Abbot declared that," when nobody twigged it,
Some rascal or other had popp'd in, and prigg'd it ! "
The Cardinal rose with a dignified look, 21
He calPd for his candle, his bell, and his book !
In holy anger, and pious grief,
He solemnly cursed that rascally thief !
He cursed him at board, he cursed him in bed ;
From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head ;
He cursed him in sleeping, that every night
He should dream of the devil, and wake in a fright ;
He cursed him in eating, he cursed him in drinking,
He cursed him in coughing, in sneezing, in winking ;
He cursed him in sitting, in standing, in lying ; 31
He cursed him in walking, in riding, in flying,
He cursed him in living, he cursed him in dying ! —
Never was heard such a terrible curse ! !
But what gave rise
To no little surprise,
Nobody seem'd one penny the worse !
168