bill
now
What you're about to see is a real life story, taken from the files of the police racketeer
and bunco squads, business protective associations, and similar sources all over the country.
It is intended to expose the confidence game, the carefully worked out frauds by which confidence
men take more money each year from the American public than all the bank robbers and thugs
with their files.
The operations of confidence men and bunco artists are usually very smooth ones, carefully
planned and with a considerable amount of time devoted to the selection of the mark,
the person chosen to be built.
The most desirable mark is the so-called skeptic, a person who is overly suspicious of others,
and particularly one who feels superior to his family and friends, a sort of self-appointed
watchdog.
This type is an easy mark and usually falls the hardest.
Mr. Hubert Carver was one of these.
You might call him an average husband.
And here is a wife's eye view of Mr. Average Husband.
The autocrat of the breakfast table.
Sucker.
That's the word he uses, Martha, right here in the article.
Sucker.
Butter that father, will you, dear?
I want you to hear this.
It's the same thing I've told you.
There's one born every minute, and nine minutes out of ten, it's a woman.
At least that's what my watch says.
The article is about antique buyers and how they get taken in.
A committee of honest antique dealers have examined some 300 cases in which unsuspecting
housewives have been the victims of unscrupulous art dealers.
Where's my toast, dear?
I don't want it to get cold.
Martha?
Martha!
Martha!
Martha, you weren't even listening.
Well, it was the doorbell, dear.
I didn't hear it.
Well, you were talking.
Oh.
Don't you want your toast?
It's getting cold.
Here, you read that for yourself.
It's good advice.
What is, dear?
Oh, for the love of Pete, it's about antique collectors and how they get taken in.
Who was at the door?
Oh, it wasn't anything, dear.
Why, I haven't bought any antiques for months now, you know that.
All right, never mind.
If you're finally following my advice.
I sort of lost interest, I guess.
You made such a big fuss.
Anyway, I didn't buy much.
But you know, I think it is foolish to take up things that you don't know anything about.
I only did it because I didn't have anything to do and I'm alone so much of the day.
But you know, I think if a person wants a hobby, they should know what they're talking about.
Otherwise, they're liable to make foolish mistakes.
Expensive mistakes.
Don't you think?
Now what?
Oh, darling, it's nothing like that.
Let's see.
What do you have here?
Know your family tree.
It's very authoritative, as so Professor MacReady says.
Who?
It tells you what to look for when you're checking up on your ancestors.
I mean, the purpose of the whole book is to keep people from being swindled and making mistakes, just like you say.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Slow down.
Darling, even though it's a private publication, it only costs $10.
I asked you who Professor MacReady was.
He's a genealogist.
He's been interested in finding out more about my family.
Goodbye, dear.
I'm leaving.
Well, that's what a genealogist does.
He helps you to find out.
And anyway, this professor, he's so nice, he came to the door one day and he showed me a coat of arms.
He drew up for Carolyn Bixby, the drugstore Bixby.
Imagine her with a coat of arms.
Well, anyway, I just hired him.
I hired him because I'm interested, that's all.
I don't care who my ancestors turn out to be.
You've done what?
Darling, he's spending a lot more time than he's charging for and it'll only take a couple of days.
Oh, Hubert, there's nothing wrong with hiring a genealogist.
It's just something to do, that's all.
Oh, for the love of Pete.
Sucker.
Don't you want your hat, dear?
Now, don't worry.
My hobbies never seem to last very long.
Thank goodness.
Oblivious to her husband's warnings, Martha Carver followed up her hobby of running down her ancestral pedigree.
Professor McReady, after some research, kept her well supplied with charts, coats of arms and so forth.
All for a nominal fee, of course.
Well, what's all this?
Oh, I didn't hear you come in. You're home early.
Oh, those aren't anything. Just some letters from Great Grandmother Murphy.
I finally found them in the attic.
I thought you said you decided that genealogy stuff wasn't worth bothering over.
Oh, well, in the past few weeks in my spare time, since I had that book...
Well, where did those come from?
Did you pay money for that doodling?
Well, that's not our family. I mean, they're just branches.
That's all.
Oh, I see.
Well, I'm sorry.
I didn't pay you for that doodling.
Well, that's not our family. I mean, they're just branches.
That's Uncle Oscar and the Dexter crest.
I just had them made up in case Carol and Bigsby should call.
Oh, Hubert, don't look at me like that.
Why, you barely mentioned it since that one morning.
Well, Professor McReady says...
Is he still here?
Oh, well, yes. I've seen him once or twice a week for the past month.
Martha, there's just one thing I want you to do for me.
Never mind trying to explain why you keep on being foolish.
Just let me have one good look at your checkbook this month.
I tell you, Bigsby, the way I see it, a man must look out for his wife's interests.
Give the so-called weaker sex the strong arm of protection.
Toothpaste, hair tonic? Need any razor blades?
Well, yes, I guess so.
You bought some yesterday, Mr. Carver.
Well, I guess maybe you're right. Never mind.
Anyway, there comes a time when a man has to put his foot down, don't you think?
Well, you can say that again. $1.35.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
My wife needs to be taught a lesson.
And I understand your wife has been, shall we say, taken in?
What are you talking about?
All that silly family tree stuff that the women have been playing around with.
I understand you got hooked by that same bird.
I don't get you.
Personally, I come from the apes, and I'm proud of it.
You know that phony professor or whatever he calls himself?
MacReady?
Let me tell you something, Mr. McCarver.
He has found some very interesting things.
Like my name, Bigsby, with a Y.
But during the time of the Mayflower, there was a soldier spelled it I.E.
Yes, but did you...
Yeah, he got to be governor at one time.
In fact, he was knighted.
It doesn't mean anything really, but...
I have always known that the early Bigsbys were very prominent people.
Oh, for the love of Pete.
He got you too.
Huh?
One born every minute.
Just what did you mean by phony professor, Mr. Carver?
I'd like to have a look at your wife's checkbook this month.
Couldn't help but hear what you fellas were talking about.
I think he's right.
My wife got hooked by that bird, and it cost me plenty.
Something ought to be done about that guy.
Who is he?
Parkman house across the street.
They take in anybody.
Tell you, Mr. Carver, this neighborhood is going downhill fast.
That guy is right.
Something ought to be done about this phony professor who is tripping all our wives.
And I'm just the man who can do it.
Do what?
You'll find out.
Thank you, Mr. Carver, for bringing this matter to the police.
We'll certainly investigate.
However, we'll need some concrete evidence if we expect to...
And I know how hard it is to get it, Captain.
That's why I figured you'd need somebody who's in one of their hands right now.
But the trouble is, no one wants to admit afterwards that they've been taken.
Well, I sure don't mind spending a few dollars in a case like this.
I'll see you have a sucker who's willing to testify.
Don't you worry.
Sucker?
I guess she'll be cured this time.
My wife.
Oh.
Well, may I suggest that we proceed with a certain amount of caution?
We'll need her testimony, you know.
And let's don't let our enthusiasm get out of bounds.
Many a case has been ruined for the police by somebody jumping the gun.
You can depend on me, Captain.
I'll keep in touch with you.
I hope so.
I'm sorry, I'm busy just now. What is it?
Never mind, Professor. I can wait.
Hubert!
Oh, Professor MacCready, this is my husband.
Yes, of course. I've heard a lot about you, Mr. Carver.
I just dropped by. Thought you might like a ride home, dear.
Oh, isn't that sweet of you. Only, how did you know I was here?
Well, anyway.
Sit down, won't you? We were just through, really.
I'm rather surprised.
You know, I imagined this place would be stuffed full of books and charts and...
...quotes of arms and things.
Did you?
Well, the office of a successful genealogist.
Oh, you mean my research work.
I do that mainly in the library.
Halls of records.
Then, of course, I send out thousands of inquiries to other areas, relatives and so on.
Yes, yes, of course. I understand.
Hubert, would you like to go home with me?
Mrs. Carver has not told me where you have taught, Professor.
Well, I'm afraid that's a little confession I must make.
I did teach at one time, but now it's mainly a matter of window dressing.
Frankly, I only wear the title to attract clients.
Particularly when you're new in town, as I am.
You know how human nature is.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Well, Hubert, Professor MacCready has been very helpful.
Don't you think we'd better be...
No, no.
Just a minute.
Mr. Carver, I understand you don't think much of genealogy.
I also understand you collect stamps.
Now, let me tell you something.
I wouldn't spend more than three cents for a stamp.
Well, what brought that up?
Oh, darling, listen to me.
I just came here to explain to Professor MacCready that I couldn't possibly afford to have him go any further with great-grandmother's letters.
And he's been very sweet and very understanding, and that's that.
Letters? I don't even know what you're talking about.
Your wife has a very interesting problem, Mr. Carver.
We've managed to trace several branches of her family quite successfully.
But the direct lineage beyond her great-grandmother's first husband is rather obscure.
Well?
Well, I had to tell her that it would be a bit expensive.
I'd have to devote my entire time to it for several days.
Might even have to take a trip.
Of course, after last night, dear, I told him it was entirely out of the question.
It's just my silly curiosity, anyway.
Oh, that's how it works.
How much would it cost?
Well, it's only an estimate.
I wish I could do it for less, particularly for her.
I'm afraid it would cost at least $200.
Oh, and it's ridiculous to waste even that much, is it, Professor?
Fine.
Well, really, an advance payment isn't necessary.
Thank you very much.
Why, Hubert!
Oh, nonsense! I believe in hobbies.
I haven't just bought a three-cent stamp in years.
Nice to have met you, Professor.
My pleasure.
Hubert, what on earth?
Here are the keys to the car, dear.
I've got a little business to attend to.
Well, Captain Braddock, how are we doing?
It's been several days since...
What's the matter?
Well, I'm afraid I made the mistake of giving my report to Mrs. Carver.
What?
Martha?
Oh, Captain, I didn't intend to mislead you by what I told Herb.
I think I'd better be running along.
Thank you, Mrs. Carver.
Thank you, Captain Braddock.
Oh, Martha.
Captain, what's happened?
I told you before we couldn't conduct an investigation unless there had been a crime.
You insisted there was one.
Well, what about this canceled check that I just picked up at the bank with McCready's endorsement on it?
Well, that doesn't indicate a crime.
It has no record, and our experts say his research for Mrs. Carver was accurate,
and that he didn't even charge her to watch.
Well, I'll be seeing you, Mr. Carver.
Goodbye.
Hubert, how could you go to Captain Braddock without telling me?
It's just like taking advantage of me.
No, Martha, dear, please.
Oh, Professor McCready.
Good evening, Mrs. Carver.
I'm not going to trust myself to say very much,
but I wanted you both to know that as soon as I can afford it, I'm going to return your $200.
I don't know exactly what's been going on,
but I finally talked to one of my disappearing clients, a Mr. Bixby, and I think I understand.
I just want you to know, Mr. Carver, that I hope I'll be able to pick up enough new business again
to be able to afford a lawyer who will sue you for slander, for malicious defamation, and perhaps for your I.T.
Well, Professor, I didn't...
You may wish to tell your friends, Mr. Carver, that I finally completed your family genealogy.
Great-grandmother Murphy was descended from a man named Stikes,
who was one of the first settlers in what is now St. Louis.
And with all due respect to your lovely wife, Mr. Carver,
you may well be considered the direct male heir of a man who raised pigs.
Oh, Hubert.
Martha.
Oh, for the love of Pete.
As the professor prepares to move on, the follow-up men stand by to take over.
One will set the victim up, then the other will move in to tell the tale,
which is con lingo for selling the sucker a bill of goods.
How much is this chumpola good for?
Five grand, easy. Maybe more. Use your own judgment.
Hey, a pushover. A pigeon. You can put the clip on him for plenty. Why fool around?
I said take it easy. You let Joe figure the bite.
I don't want any sour apples on Mr. Carver's family tree.
Okay, you got the ball.
Mr. Carver.
Yes?
Yes, of course, I knew. I've seen you around the neighborhood.
My wife isn't feeling very well.
Yes, I was just talking to Mr. Bixby, the drugist.
He told me you'd been in dinner. I'm sorry I missed you there.
But he was bragging to me about his ancestors, you see.
He was what?
Now, wait a minute. I've got no axe to grind with him or any of the other guys.
I'm sure you've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I have a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a knife.
I've got a...
I've got a knife.
I've got a n...
I've got a knife!
I've got a knife!
I've got a knife!
I've got a knife!
I've got a kni....
I've got a kni....
I've got a knife.
I've got a kn....
Knife!
Mr. Carver, you can just rest in peace.
Because I happen to know this professor's nothing but a phony.
You ain't no Stikes.
Wait a minute.
Well, I guess you feel better now, huh?
Who put you up to this? Bixby?
I don't get you.
Oh yes, you do.
Because I happen to know a lot more about this Professor MacReady than you do.
Now what kind of a ribbing does this...
Let go of me!
All right.
So you're smarter than I thought.
But don't you try to rib me.
Whatever you and this phony professor are trying to cook up, I'm wise, see?
I don't understand.
Oh, you think it's a joke?
Or I'm laughing when I hear what I hear.
Buddy, my name is Stikes.
Oh.
Oh, well.
Like that ancestor of ours.
Isn't that interesting?
Ancestor of mine, you mean?
You're not cutting in.
There's too many guys like you already trying to get a piece of St. Louis.
What?
Oh, sure.
Play dumb.
You wouldn't hire a guy to prove it was one of your ancestors that owned a pig yard that covered half of where the town is now.
Oh, no.
Not you.
You big guys wouldn't try to cut in just when us little guys about to win our lawsuit.
Well, I'm warning you, see?
Wait.
If anybody in this town collects a million bucks for a share of that property, it's me.
Not you.
Me.
A legitimate Stikes, you get me?
A legitimate heir.
What?
How much, Mr. Stikes?
Please.
Let go of me.
Now, let me have a chance to explain.
I haven't understood any of this.
It's been all so confusing.
I've been so wrong.
Oh, not about the professor.
I can assure you he's perfectly honest.
More than likely some deal you cooked up between the two of you.
Now, now.
I certainly don't want to go after anything that isn't honestly mine.
But if you fellows are suing the city of St. Louis for a rightful inheritance, ownership of all that property, well, perhaps I could help.
What I mean is we Stikes should stick together.
Lawsuits are expensive.
Only, how much did you say all that property was worth by this time?
All that Mr. Stikes didn't seem like a very intelligent sort of person.
Now, now.
I told you he's not the one.
There's a banker from St. Louis here.
You'll meet him tonight.
He's handling the legal contracts.
Good man for it.
Good head on his shoulders.
Is he the one you wrote the check to?
Gilbert, I'm asking you.
Is his name Mr. Stikes too?
Well, of course it is.
But I'll tell you this.
There's none of them with as good a claim as we have.
All those family crests and trees and stuff we bought, they'll come in mighty handy when the settlement comes.
I can tell you that.
You'll have to pay for a settlement?
Oh, for the love of Pete.
It's business, that's all, dear.
You wouldn't understand.
No, dear, I guess not.
Of course not.
Now, after tonight, we're going to speed the thing up.
Handle it better.
Joe and I are going to kick in enough cash to get the case into court next month.
You mean you're going to pay more money?
Oh, darling, just because some of our ancestors once owned a lot of property in St. Louis doesn't mean that we can get it.
There are probably a lot of big buildings on that by now, belonging to other people.
Now, you just stick to your little hobbies.
And pretty quick, you can afford as many as you want.
I've sort of lost interest in my hobbies.
I never knew how expensive they could get.
The curtain rises on Act Three.
Joe, the banker from St. Louis, has done a good job of telling the tale.
With the aid of copies of old deeds and phony reprints of newspapers with date lines brought up to the present,
Hubert is now convinced that he's one of the rightful heirs to the city of St. Louis.
Like the proverbial Thanksgiving turkey, Hubert has been fattened up and is ready for the kill.
Oh, oh, Hubert!
You sound like my wife.
Oh, Hubert, $5,000!
You and me both, lady. That's more than I earn in six years.
Don't you worry.
We'll be spending twice that much every day pretty quick.
Thanks very much.
And my wife will expect you to stay with us when you come to St. Louis.
Well, thanks for the invitation to spend some time with you and in St. Louis.
What's the idea? What are you trying to pull?
Now I'd like to invite you to spend some time with us, as our guest.
I'll take this if you don't mind.
This must be some sort of misunderstanding.
Don't bother with explanations.
We've got it all right here.
Addictive.
Why, you dirty...
Shut up.
Oh, Jim, my car's right outside. Would you show these gentlemen to it?
Now you can understand why we let Professor McReady go on his way.
We wouldn't have a case if we'd jumped the gun.
We picked the professor up in the next town,
where he was already lining up the next heir to the Stikes property.
I'm afraid that's the way rackets often work, Mr. Carver.
Most of the time is spent on a buildup, a legitimate buildup.
Like the genealogical research.
And it was pretty good research, too, until he threw the name of Stikes at you.
You're no more a Stikes than I am, or those men are.
But I looked at the deeds, the St. Louis property records.
Oh, yes, some of them are accurate, too.
That shows you how cleverly these men worked.
But for your information, the Stikes land claim was thrown out of the courts 27 years ago.
Oh, I can't understand how you ever caught on to it.
And how you ever got into the house to put that thing in.
Oh, neither do I, of course. And I was gone all afternoon.
I don't understand any of it.
But we're so fortunate that you, Captain Braddock, knew that there was something wrong.
Oh, yes, of course.
But I think your husband deserves most of the credit.
It's just like he said before.
The hardest thing is to find someone willing to come forward.
What?
Yes, we'll need that, too, of course. You know, your testimony.
Someone who's willing to come right out in public and admit that they've been taken for a sucker.
Oh, with a love of teeth.
Well, I think I'll be running along.
I'll send a man in to pick up the equipment.
I'll just see you to the door, dear.
Captain Braddock.
Oh, uh, here's your front door key.
And thanks, Mrs. Garvey.
And thank you for not telling him.
But, Captain Braddock, I wouldn't want you to misunderstand Hubert.
Maybe he was just pretending those men fooled him.
Hmm? Don't you think?
Oh, sure, Mrs. Garvey.
Because Hubert's very smart, you know.
Oh, yes, Mrs. Garvey.
Well, uh, good night.
So you see, it isn't always the innocent or the ignorant that con men pick for their pigeons.
Some pretty intelligent people have been victimized.
Hubert, for example.
He was just gullible.
And that's something to think about when you wonder who the most gullible person in your family is.
Because there are a great many rackets designed especially for the skeptic.
It could even happen to you.
© BF-WATCH TV 2021