WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:04.760 Westinghouse, Studio One, Westinghouse. 00:04.760 --> 00:06.720 The name that means sureness. 00:06.720 --> 00:09.880 Whether it's on the finest television sets made today, 00:09.880 --> 00:12.160 or jet engines for America's planes. 00:13.200 --> 00:15.400 Whether it's a product for your home, 00:15.400 --> 00:19.860 for your business, for your farm, for your factory. 00:19.860 --> 00:23.200 You can be sure if it's Westinghouse. 00:23.200 --> 00:48.760 ♪♪ 00:48.760 --> 00:58.200 ♪♪ 00:58.200 --> 01:01.400 Tonight, Studio One brings you the story of a man 01:01.400 --> 01:03.520 who was born to laughter, 01:03.520 --> 01:06.760 but wasn't quite sure how to give it away. 01:06.760 --> 01:11.040 A new play by one of television's most original writing talents. 01:11.040 --> 01:14.480 Performed for you by one of the most original and dazzling talents 01:14.480 --> 01:17.040 in the entire theatrical world. 01:17.040 --> 01:21.000 And by a sparkling supporting cast. 01:21.000 --> 01:26.080 Here with, a portrait of Pagliacci among the pinups. 01:26.080 --> 01:31.480 The top banana who very nearly slipped on his own skin. 01:31.480 --> 01:35.880 Mr. Jackie Gleason and company, please to begin. 01:35.880 --> 01:50.880 ♪♪ 01:50.880 --> 02:08.320 ♪♪ 02:08.320 --> 02:10.320 Good evening, sir. May I help you? 02:10.320 --> 02:13.080 Tell me where I can find Jerry Giles. 02:13.080 --> 02:16.640 Yes, you'll find his dressing room right through that door behind the pianos. 02:16.640 --> 02:20.920 Yes, sir. Oh, thank you. 02:20.920 --> 02:24.240 He's cute. Who does he work? 02:24.240 --> 02:27.240 A crazy man. 02:27.240 --> 02:32.760 ♪ How much is your doggy in your window? 02:32.760 --> 02:37.000 ♪ How much for that little hound dog? 02:37.000 --> 02:41.000 You're intruding, but come in. 02:43.000 --> 02:46.000 Mr. Giles? You have come to the right place. 02:46.000 --> 02:48.000 I'm Bill Burkson. Good. 02:48.000 --> 02:50.000 Good what? Good anything. 02:50.000 --> 02:53.000 Good you're Bill Burkson. You're glad you're Bill Burkson, aren't you? 02:53.000 --> 02:56.000 Well, I really hadn't given it much thought. 02:56.000 --> 03:00.000 Oh, you're not a thinker. How do you expect to get any place if you're not a thinker? 03:00.000 --> 03:03.000 Well, I just came 3,000 miles from New York. I didn't think once. 03:03.000 --> 03:06.000 That is a straight line if I ever heard one. 03:08.000 --> 03:11.000 Cosmo, my pants! 03:11.000 --> 03:15.000 Hey, did you ever hear the story about the midget who walked across country? 03:15.000 --> 03:18.000 Quite a while back, yeah. 03:20.000 --> 03:22.000 I don't like you. Who are you? 03:22.000 --> 03:25.000 Bill Burkson. I don't like your name either. 03:25.000 --> 03:28.000 But stick around. There must be something about you I like. 03:28.000 --> 03:31.000 Mr. Giles, I'm with Manhattan Magazine. 03:31.000 --> 03:34.000 I was sent out here to Hollywood to do a feature story on you. 03:34.000 --> 03:38.000 I knew there was something about you I like. Sit down, pal. 03:38.000 --> 03:41.000 And it's Jerry to you, not Mr. Giles. 03:41.000 --> 03:43.000 They wrote me and told me you were coming. 03:43.000 --> 03:45.000 So you're gonna do a story on me, huh? 03:45.000 --> 03:47.000 That makes me pretty important. 03:47.000 --> 03:50.000 They don't do a story on a guy unless he's pretty big bananas. 03:50.000 --> 03:52.000 My editor feels that people are interested in you 03:52.000 --> 03:55.000 after your mediocre rise these past two years. 03:55.000 --> 03:57.000 Two years? 03:57.000 --> 03:59.000 I have been rising for centuries. 03:59.000 --> 04:02.000 And here I am. The world's been waiting for me. 04:02.000 --> 04:04.000 How are you gonna do the story? 04:04.000 --> 04:07.000 I thought you might have some ideas on that. I'm pretty flexible. 04:07.000 --> 04:09.000 Is that so? 04:09.000 --> 04:11.000 I suppose you hang around a couple of days. 04:11.000 --> 04:13.000 I can't wait and get a lot of material. 04:13.000 --> 04:15.000 When anything comes to me, I can tell you. 04:15.000 --> 04:16.000 OK by me. 04:16.000 --> 04:18.000 But I'm warning you now, pal, you better get used to laughs. 04:18.000 --> 04:20.000 I'll have you laughing every minute. I just can't help it. 04:20.000 --> 04:22.000 I'll tell you a joke now. You wanna hear a joke? 04:22.000 --> 04:24.000 Give me a category. 04:24.000 --> 04:26.000 Monkeys. Monkeys. 04:28.000 --> 04:31.000 Montgomery, give me a little monkey music. 04:33.000 --> 04:35.000 I get in the train, see, and I sit down. 04:35.000 --> 04:38.000 And a guy comes in, he sits down alongside of me with a monkey in his lap. 04:38.000 --> 04:41.000 I pull out my tie, mess up my hair, so I get a little steam. 04:41.000 --> 04:44.000 And I go over to the conductor, I said, pardon me, pal, do you allow monkeys in these trains? 04:44.000 --> 04:47.000 He says, get in the corner quickly, nobody will notice you. 04:47.000 --> 04:50.000 See what I mean? Give me another category. 04:50.000 --> 04:52.000 Hey Cosmo, my pants! 04:52.000 --> 04:54.000 Go ahead, give me another category. 04:54.000 --> 04:56.000 Uh, mice. Mice. 04:56.000 --> 04:59.000 Montgomery, segue into a little mouse music. 05:01.000 --> 05:04.000 A boy and a girl mouse are looking for some cheese, see. 05:04.000 --> 05:06.000 So the boy mouse gets his head caught in a mouse trap. 05:06.000 --> 05:08.000 And he passes out cold. 05:08.000 --> 05:10.000 So the little girl mouse leans over and she says to him, 05:10.000 --> 05:12.000 pervert, squeak to me, squeak to me. 05:12.000 --> 05:15.000 I just can't help it. I'm a one-man panel show. 05:16.000 --> 05:20.000 Oh, Giles, Giles, what a pity there aren't 150 million more like you. 05:20.000 --> 05:22.000 What a world this would be. 05:22.000 --> 05:24.000 Cosmo, my pants! 05:31.000 --> 05:33.000 Uh, Mr. Giles. 05:33.000 --> 05:36.000 I understand you've signed a long-term television contract to do your own show. 05:36.000 --> 05:39.000 Well, I haven't signed it yet, but I will any minute. 05:39.000 --> 05:42.000 I'm not worried. Most television people have taste. 05:43.000 --> 05:46.000 Cosmo, if you're not here in five seconds with my pants, you're fired. 05:47.000 --> 05:49.000 Uh, who is Cosmo? 05:49.000 --> 05:51.000 There ain't no such person. 05:51.000 --> 05:54.000 All right, your five seconds are up, you're fired. 05:54.000 --> 05:56.000 I'd just like to give orders. 05:56.000 --> 05:58.000 Uh, about the story, Mr. Giles. 05:58.000 --> 06:00.000 I write it the way I see it, you understand. 06:00.000 --> 06:02.000 That's the agreement you made with my editor. 06:02.000 --> 06:04.000 Billy boy, I got a big secret for you. 06:04.000 --> 06:07.000 My life is one wide-open book. 06:07.000 --> 06:09.000 Of course, I tore out a couple of pages. 06:10.000 --> 06:12.000 Come in, come in, all of you. 06:12.000 --> 06:15.000 Flo, baby, you're as welcome as an air-conditioning unit in the Sahara. 06:15.000 --> 06:16.000 Come on, Giles. 06:16.000 --> 06:18.000 Bill Burkson, boy writer. Flo Stevens, girl vocalist. 06:18.000 --> 06:19.000 Give it to me. 06:19.000 --> 06:21.000 She's gonna do a story on me in a magazine. 06:21.000 --> 06:22.000 Give it to me. 06:22.000 --> 06:24.000 Give you what, sweetie, my heart? 06:24.000 --> 06:26.000 I've already given you that. 06:26.000 --> 06:29.000 I mean the eyebrow pencil you snitched from my dressing room. 06:29.000 --> 06:33.000 They only cost a quarter, why don't you buy one? 06:33.000 --> 06:37.000 Flo, baby, why do you continue this insane struggle? 06:37.000 --> 06:39.000 You know you're crazy about me, you just can't help yourself. 06:39.000 --> 06:42.000 And you better take me soon, I'm getting mighty exclusive. 06:42.000 --> 06:44.000 Look, Jerry, let's get this settled once and for all. 06:44.000 --> 06:46.000 I want you to leave me alone. 06:46.000 --> 06:49.000 I've got a chance to get out of this business, and I'm gonna take it. 06:49.000 --> 06:52.000 I'm tired, Jerry, I need some peace. 06:52.000 --> 06:55.000 You're a nice guy, I like you and all that, 06:55.000 --> 06:57.000 but you just don't fit into the kind of life I want. 06:57.000 --> 07:00.000 It's no good. 07:00.000 --> 07:02.000 Imagine that. 07:02.000 --> 07:05.000 She's gonna tie up with some insurance peddler when she can have me. 07:05.000 --> 07:11.000 I tell you, the world has gone mad. 07:11.000 --> 07:13.000 It's nice to have met you, Mr. Burstyn. 07:13.000 --> 07:19.000 Thank you, same here. 07:19.000 --> 07:22.000 Here to you. 07:22.000 --> 07:25.000 Giles, you are slipping. 07:25.000 --> 07:28.000 The two of us are gonna have a long talk. 07:28.000 --> 07:31.000 Would you mind leaving us alone? I'll see you right after the show. 07:31.000 --> 07:36.000 Oh, all right. You're intruding, but come in. 07:36.000 --> 07:39.000 A telegram for you, Mr. Giles. 07:39.000 --> 07:43.000 Thank you. You are a good one. 07:43.000 --> 07:45.000 You know who this telegram's from? 07:45.000 --> 07:47.000 No, it's television, Pete. 07:47.000 --> 07:49.000 You know what it says? 07:49.000 --> 07:51.000 It says, Dear Mr. Giles, we want you. 07:51.000 --> 07:54.000 All doors are open, name your own price. 07:54.000 --> 07:56.000 Congratulations, I think I'll open it. 07:56.000 --> 07:59.000 Skeptic. 07:59.000 --> 08:00.000 I'll see you later. 08:00.000 --> 08:01.000 OK. 08:15.000 --> 08:19.000 I'll be looking forward to your article on the series. 08:19.000 --> 08:20.000 Thanks. 08:20.000 --> 08:21.000 It's an interesting assignment. 08:21.000 --> 08:24.000 What did you think of his performance? 08:24.000 --> 08:29.000 Almost as good as the one he gave me in his dressing room. 08:29.000 --> 08:32.000 Giles, you're a great director. 08:32.000 --> 08:33.000 You're great. 08:33.000 --> 08:35.000 You're a great director. 08:35.000 --> 08:36.000 Not bad. 08:36.000 --> 08:41.000 You really think so? 08:41.000 --> 08:43.000 Yeah. 08:43.000 --> 08:44.000 What's the word? 08:44.000 --> 08:50.000 Little sanguist in union music. 08:50.000 --> 08:53.000 Well, what's wrong, muttonhead? 08:53.000 --> 08:54.000 Oh, come off it, Jerry. 08:54.000 --> 08:55.000 What is it? 08:55.000 --> 08:57.000 They don't want me, Blue. 08:57.000 --> 08:58.000 I'm not good enough for them. 08:58.000 --> 09:02.000 The TV contract, it didn't come through, Jerry. 09:02.000 --> 09:04.000 I was so sure. 09:04.000 --> 09:05.000 That's too bad, Jerry. 09:05.000 --> 09:06.000 I'm sorry. 09:06.000 --> 09:08.000 Well, Jerry, these things don't always turn out. 09:08.000 --> 09:10.000 You can make another try. 09:10.000 --> 09:11.000 Another try? 09:11.000 --> 09:12.000 Who are we kidding? 09:12.000 --> 09:14.000 I'm just not good enough, that's all. 09:14.000 --> 09:15.000 I know that now. 09:15.000 --> 09:20.000 Well, I didn't mean to push my troubles on you. 09:20.000 --> 09:23.000 You know, it's a funny thing. 09:23.000 --> 09:25.000 People just don't understand. 09:25.000 --> 09:28.000 They think a comic hasn't got any feelings. 09:28.000 --> 09:31.000 All they know about him is that he makes with the laughs. 09:31.000 --> 09:33.000 Put that in your story. 09:33.000 --> 09:35.000 But, Jerry, you still rate pretty high in the night spots. 09:35.000 --> 09:38.000 Sure, in a post-it garbage cans like this one. 09:38.000 --> 09:39.000 How do you think I feel? 09:39.000 --> 09:44.000 I gave the best I had and it just didn't pay off. 09:44.000 --> 09:51.000 Flo, the tubers, you know, I just want somebody to talk to. 09:51.000 --> 09:55.000 Jerry, I appreciate how you feel, but no guy likes to have his girl go... 09:55.000 --> 09:57.000 Well, you understand. 09:57.000 --> 09:59.000 Sure, sure. 09:59.000 --> 10:03.000 I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked in the first place. 10:03.000 --> 10:04.000 Well, good night, everybody. 10:04.000 --> 10:17.000 Good night, Jerry. 10:17.000 --> 10:20.000 Imagine doing that show with that telegram in your pocket. 10:20.000 --> 10:23.000 Tom, he needs to be with somebody right now. 10:23.000 --> 10:24.000 Darling, it's got to stop sometime. 10:24.000 --> 10:26.000 He's interfered with us enough. 10:26.000 --> 10:27.000 This is different. 10:27.000 --> 10:28.000 I don't see that it is. 10:28.000 --> 10:30.000 I'm tired of playing the chump for Jerry Giles. 10:30.000 --> 10:31.000 You've got to make up your mind. 10:31.000 --> 10:33.000 You go with him and that's it. 10:33.000 --> 10:34.000 See? 10:34.000 --> 10:35.000 Look, I don't want to interfere. 10:35.000 --> 10:36.000 It's all right, Mr. Berkson. 10:36.000 --> 10:38.000 I know what you want to say. 10:38.000 --> 10:41.000 But show business or any other kind of business, 10:41.000 --> 10:47.000 a woman doesn't like ultimatums. 10:47.000 --> 10:49.000 What? 10:49.000 --> 10:51.000 It's a pity you couldn't trust me. 10:51.000 --> 10:52.000 Trust? 10:52.000 --> 10:59.000 It isn't a question of trust. 10:59.000 --> 11:00.000 Guy likes to know where he stands. 11:00.000 --> 11:02.000 I've never known where I stand with him around. 11:02.000 --> 11:04.000 Even if Flo and I were engaged, 11:04.000 --> 11:06.000 what kind of a guy asks a girl to go out with him 11:06.000 --> 11:08.000 when their fiancé is sitting right there? 11:08.000 --> 11:10.000 You understand that, don't you, Berkson? 11:10.000 --> 11:11.000 I think so. 11:11.000 --> 11:12.000 Gosh. 11:12.000 --> 11:13.000 Hello, Mr. Warner. 11:13.000 --> 11:14.000 Hey, where's Jerry? 11:14.000 --> 11:15.000 Where's Flo? 11:15.000 --> 11:16.000 He just left. 11:16.000 --> 11:17.000 Well, did he tell you? 11:17.000 --> 11:19.000 Did he get that telegram from the television people? 11:19.000 --> 11:21.000 Oh, tonight I'm the happiest agent in show business. 11:21.000 --> 11:22.000 We're in. 11:22.000 --> 11:24.000 We sign the contracts tomorrow. 11:24.000 --> 11:25.000 Contracts? 11:25.000 --> 11:28.000 But he said the tele... 11:28.000 --> 11:29.000 They didn't turn him down. 11:29.000 --> 11:31.000 Oh, that Giles, what a character. 11:31.000 --> 11:33.000 Always naked with the gags. 11:33.000 --> 11:35.000 Yeah. 11:35.000 --> 11:45.000 Funny guy. 11:45.000 --> 11:46.000 That ain't open. Break it down. 11:46.000 --> 11:50.000 I'm not getting up. 11:50.000 --> 11:51.000 Oh, hiya, Billy. 11:51.000 --> 11:52.000 Hiya. 11:52.000 --> 11:53.000 Got the story started yet? 11:53.000 --> 11:54.000 Give me time. 11:54.000 --> 11:55.000 Give me time. 11:55.000 --> 11:57.000 I've only known you 24 hours. 11:57.000 --> 11:58.000 I haven't got a lead yet. 11:58.000 --> 12:00.000 I'm not even sure I can understand you. 12:00.000 --> 12:03.000 I'm just a guy like any other guy. 12:03.000 --> 12:05.000 A little more talented, maybe, but that's all. 12:05.000 --> 12:06.000 Uh-uh. 12:06.000 --> 12:08.000 Nobody's a guy like any other guy. 12:08.000 --> 12:11.000 Every man is a mystery. 12:11.000 --> 12:13.000 The whole world's a mystery, Billy. 12:13.000 --> 12:16.000 For instance, do you know where a butterfly sleeps? 12:16.000 --> 12:17.000 No. 12:17.000 --> 12:21.000 Well, all you have to do is follow a butterfly until it gets tired. 12:21.000 --> 12:23.000 Okay, I'll stick right with you, Joey, until you get tired. 12:23.000 --> 12:27.000 Congratulations, Jerry. 12:27.000 --> 12:28.000 Thanks, Flo. 12:28.000 --> 12:30.000 I just read the good news. 12:30.000 --> 12:31.000 Why did you do it, Jerry? 12:31.000 --> 12:32.000 Why? 12:32.000 --> 12:33.000 You mean about last night? 12:33.000 --> 12:34.000 Yes, last night. 12:34.000 --> 12:35.000 It was only a gag. 12:35.000 --> 12:37.000 We're always gagging it up, aren't we? 12:37.000 --> 12:40.000 I'm always telling you how nuts I am about you, and you're always telling me what a dope I am. 12:40.000 --> 12:43.000 You weren't joking last night, Jerry, and I believed you. 12:43.000 --> 12:45.000 I believed every word you said. 12:45.000 --> 12:48.000 I even felt sorry for you. 12:48.000 --> 12:52.000 But you just had to have it your own way, didn't you? 12:52.000 --> 13:05.000 Oh, Jerry, why couldn't you leave me alone? 13:05.000 --> 13:19.000 Montgomery, a little boy loses girl, you know. 13:19.000 --> 13:22.000 Your insurance broke her walk down on her last night. 13:22.000 --> 13:46.000 Ah, she wouldn't have been happy with him anyway. 13:46.000 --> 13:48.000 Okay, okay, Joe. 13:48.000 --> 13:49.000 Sit three minutes, all right? 13:49.000 --> 13:51.000 First girl's standing down at usage facing up. 13:51.000 --> 13:53.000 Her taxi changes towards me. 13:53.000 --> 13:57.000 He pulls up, talkz away and throws poles back inside her. 13:57.000 --> 14:01.000 Countries in USA and USA, you can see believable at First Dollars and Hawthorn with Buddies we met on the first Sunday with Buddy, 14:01.000 --> 14:03.000 and with CushOfBAllots, we had so much fun. 14:03.000 --> 14:04.000 That's Bernie. 14:04.000 --> 14:07.000 Little girl, first girl, deputy says 500 dollars share. 14:07.000 --> 14:11.000 Minutes she was walking back to her library, and she found Johnny Why. 14:11.000 --> 14:14.000 We were supposed to see Jerry yesterday, but Jerry looked like he has serious a must-uh night, 14:14.000 --> 14:17.000 and he always pans around Jerry and Julie's bed position, so we made a list for whoever came in last 44. 14:17.000 --> 14:22.260 to go far away. I'm sorry for that right this isn't so bad television's a growing 14:22.280 --> 14:28.500 medium haven't you heard. Let's go someplace with more quiet I'm afraid Bill 14:28.520 --> 14:33.020 that this is as quiet as it's going to get but tell me what are you doing here in 14:33.040 --> 14:40.120 Hollywood an assignment Jerry Giles. I look for you Peg thought about you. 14:41.600 --> 14:45.720 You know when you left New York three years ago I was about to ask you to mind. 14:45.720 --> 14:51.480 It I know that's why I left marriage and career will make 14:51.480 --> 14:55.880 a frustrated actress doesn't mix with anything I'm afraid. 14:59.960 --> 15:02.920 Don't touch the body it's not just about it I just like the work in 15:02.920 --> 15:09.440 a cigarette lighter soggy with combustion. And you got to buy. A bill. 15:09.440 --> 15:13.400 I. Think this up 15:13.400 --> 15:19.480 a cute one right out the back. I stalled. What's 15:19.480 --> 15:25.080 a matter with you somebody stay your rabbit. Jerry thank you know when she needs 15:25.080 --> 15:30.120 a little sweet enough I'll tell a little joke I go into a pet shop see and I say 15:30.120 --> 15:30.880 that a guy I'd like to get 15:30.880 --> 15:34.760 a singing canary so he tells me when I take it home I get it home and I find out 15:34.760 --> 15:38.840 the brute only has one leg so I bring him back to the pet shop I said Hey pal this 15:38.840 --> 15:44.360 canary is only got one way he says what do you want to sing or a dance. We use 15:44.360 --> 15:50.640 that one in our high school minstrel show I believe. You lose me. 15:51.680 --> 15:53.440 I better get out of here before I turn blue. 15:57.360 --> 16:02.280 What was that all about you know a singer named Flo Stevens Oh yes we've met Oh 16:02.280 --> 16:06.120 well no when I share an apartment out here and we don't think he's very funny. 16:06.120 --> 16:10.920 I think Bill I've got to get back to work and I see it after the show but the words 16:10.920 --> 16:11.640 right out of my mouth. 16:17.160 --> 16:20.560 The matter with her she treated me like I was saying but maybe she doesn't like 16:20.560 --> 16:26.560 you Jerry that's possible you know lots of people don't like each other. I don't 16:26.560 --> 16:33.520 know these things take time. Say. You ever hear the story about the coal miner 16:33.520 --> 16:45.840 in the car. Jerry. 16:47.320 --> 16:53.720 I thought the show well I was sensational sensational I think would be a better 16:53.720 --> 16:58.680 description it was terrific the biggest yacht I've ever done I says from here on 16:58.680 --> 17:02.680 it with a magic carpet we're going to sit on chairs filled with hundred dollar 17:02.680 --> 17:05.680 bills and I'll tell you something you're going to quit your job we're going to 17:05.680 --> 17:10.280 move out of here. Just so we can look down and see what the poor people. See 17:10.280 --> 17:13.280 anybody I don't like I'm going to fill a paper bag with water and drop it on a 17:13.280 --> 17:18.400 head. Jerry will you stop interrupting a guy can't get a word in edgewise I am not 17:18.400 --> 17:23.840 going to quit my job. I don't want to pull that big brother routine with you but 17:23.840 --> 17:26.880 from here on in you're going to do as I say I work because I want to be 17:26.880 --> 17:32.160 independent but you don't have to be independent of me especially of you if I'm 17:32.160 --> 17:36.400 not obligated to you I can keep you in line let's face it when it comes to 17:36.400 --> 17:40.000 making a fool of yourself you're well rehearsed now what kind of talk is that 17:40.000 --> 17:45.840 let's quit kidding ourselves about tonight's performance. You were off. I 17:45.840 --> 17:49.840 know it I know it you do it to me every time first you're putting me up and then 17:49.840 --> 17:53.680 you swing the axe what do you mean I was off I thought you'd have a couple more 17:53.680 --> 18:00.360 minutes they would have to take the audience home in an ambulance. What 18:00.360 --> 18:02.840 happened nothing happened I was terrific. 18:09.520 --> 18:14.680 You know this. You're going to get your best what happened. 18:16.920 --> 18:23.360 Was a girl. A smart alecky not important assistant director yes she's crazy about 18:23.360 --> 18:27.400 me I know what the first minute I met her but you know people I don't like to 18:27.400 --> 18:31.160 show their true feelings yes I know all about that she didn't want to let on that 18:31.160 --> 18:36.720 she was attracted to me she made a couple of cracks. What do I care I can get a 18:36.720 --> 18:38.280 hundred days a thousand days. 18:47.720 --> 18:49.080 Coffee brewing you want to come. 18:49.080 --> 18:52.720 Mean. You're in there. 18:56.340 --> 18:57.720 Good. My girl. 19:01.080 --> 19:04.780 You know. I already forgot about. 19:04.780 --> 19:11.780 the 19:27.980 --> 19:30.400 now that you've seen part one of the last maker 19:30.400 --> 19:34.120 let's turn to our working out for 19:34.120 --> 19:36.840 double trouble on watch that 19:36.840 --> 19:40.720 yes this is the kind of double trouble that really stops most women 19:40.720 --> 19:44.460 where can you find a washer that's thorough enough to get a dirty pair of 19:44.460 --> 19:47.220 overalls like this really clean 19:47.220 --> 19:50.540 gentle enough for a delicate nightgown like this 19:50.540 --> 19:51.840 but here's the answer 19:51.840 --> 19:53.980 it's the new nineteen fifty three 19:53.980 --> 19:58.420 westinghouse laundromat with the amazing agitomble action 19:58.420 --> 20:02.940 it's so thorough that it gets even the dirtiest work clothes clean and yet 20:02.940 --> 20:07.540 it's gentle enough so that you're at the most delicate things are perfectly safe 20:07.540 --> 20:08.880 let's see what happens 20:08.880 --> 20:11.920 in the westinghouse laundromat 20:11.920 --> 20:18.580 watch how all the laundry is equally agitated 20:18.580 --> 20:21.240 see these fins in the laundromat's basket 20:21.240 --> 20:22.980 now in slow motion 20:22.980 --> 20:27.420 watch how they agitate every single piece by picking it up and dropping it 20:27.420 --> 20:29.360 as the basket revolves 20:29.360 --> 20:31.980 plenty of agitation and tumbling 20:31.980 --> 20:33.420 that's why it's called 20:33.420 --> 20:35.340 agitomble action 20:35.340 --> 20:40.260 the gentle agitomble action lifts and tumbles all the clothes over and over 20:40.260 --> 20:41.500 so that each piece 20:41.500 --> 20:43.240 is agitated equally 20:43.240 --> 20:45.900 the entire load is constantly agitated 20:45.900 --> 20:49.020 and therefore washed uniformly clean 20:49.020 --> 20:52.900 now this side view of the laundromat shows another westinghouse exclusive 20:52.900 --> 20:54.700 the slanting wash basket 20:54.700 --> 20:57.060 the clothes are washed in this position 20:57.060 --> 20:58.820 and when the basket tilts back 20:58.820 --> 21:00.340 the water drains out 21:00.340 --> 21:03.820 and the clothes tumble as these arrows indicate 21:03.820 --> 21:06.020 and away from the dirty wash water 21:06.020 --> 21:08.500 so the water drains away from the clothes 21:08.500 --> 21:10.060 not through them 21:10.060 --> 21:13.300 see this wonderful new westinghouse laundromat at your dealers 21:13.300 --> 21:15.300 see the westinghouse dryer too 21:15.300 --> 21:17.500 they're america's favorite twins 21:17.500 --> 21:18.580 and remember 21:18.580 --> 21:20.180 you can be sure 21:20.180 --> 21:27.180 if it's westinghouse 21:30.300 --> 21:32.980 they return now to westinghouse studio one 21:32.980 --> 21:39.980 and the lap maker 21:39.980 --> 21:46.700 the 21:46.700 --> 21:53.700 all right turn on a sound 21:56.580 --> 22:00.780 tonight 22:00.780 --> 22:03.660 that's a little bit like an iron balloon i told you i didn't want to use it 22:03.660 --> 22:06.700 gary that's the one i was going to buy one of the books that we can write 22:06.700 --> 22:13.700 jackson i'll get with the stars 22:16.940 --> 22:21.540 and the new very 22:21.540 --> 22:26.540 west 22:26.540 --> 22:29.780 but i don't think that's what i think i think he had to give me a speed up 22:29.780 --> 22:33.460 but don't rush me we need more time to get the spots to get another half hour 22:33.460 --> 22:40.100 state part 22:40.100 --> 22:43.940 no 22:43.940 --> 22:42.900 uh... 22:42.900 --> 22:46.660 over 22:46.660 --> 22:47.740 stand tough 22:47.740 --> 22:49.560 all that 22:49.560 --> 22:51.100 claims 22:51.100 --> 22:53.340 terry 22:53.340 --> 22:54.340 boggy 22:54.340 --> 22:58.820 it 22:58.820 --> 22:59.540 ok 22:59.540 --> 23:00.340 maxwell 23:00.340 --> 23:01.920 asset 23:01.920 --> 23:05.080 to me at all. You're only glad you're on time. 23:05.080 --> 23:08.080 I know Steven wouldn't be unhappy at all. 23:08.080 --> 23:10.580 All right, let's keep it a little quiet down front. 23:10.580 --> 23:14.080 Next thing you know, we'll hit a rustling of popcorn bags and kissing in the balcony. 23:14.080 --> 23:17.080 ...of 14 cents in your neighborhood store. 23:17.080 --> 23:21.080 And for the first 100 people who send it to the studio, all call... 23:21.080 --> 23:23.080 All right, cut it! 23:23.080 --> 23:25.080 Well, you know what's wrong with the show? 23:25.080 --> 23:27.580 There's too many jokes, not enough sight laughs. 23:27.580 --> 23:30.580 Next week, give me more sight laughs. I got talent, don't limit me. 23:30.580 --> 23:33.580 And another thing, why do we have to have a commercial every five seconds? 23:33.580 --> 23:35.580 They come to see me not to hear commercials. 23:35.580 --> 23:39.580 I get the audience warmed up, all of a sudden a guy comes out to sell chopped liver. 23:39.580 --> 23:42.580 All right, run it again. 23:42.580 --> 23:44.580 Happy sleeper. 23:46.580 --> 23:50.580 We are going to give away these absolutely free introductory gifts. 23:50.580 --> 23:51.580 Hey. 23:51.580 --> 23:54.580 Well, I'll be starting back in New York in a couple of weeks. 23:54.580 --> 23:56.580 Hmm? 23:56.580 --> 23:58.580 And? 23:58.580 --> 24:01.580 Would you think we ought to talk about it? 24:01.580 --> 24:03.580 I sure could try. 24:03.580 --> 24:05.580 It would be a good idea. 24:05.580 --> 24:08.580 Peggy! Peggy! Peggy, check! 24:08.580 --> 24:09.580 Hi, Peggy! 24:09.580 --> 24:11.580 Hello, Peggy, what's the matter? 24:11.580 --> 24:13.580 The bird has a problem. 24:13.580 --> 24:15.580 Oh, I see. 24:15.580 --> 24:17.580 I'm sorry, Peggy. 24:17.580 --> 24:20.580 Hi, Peggy! Hello, Peggy, what's the matter? 24:20.580 --> 24:23.580 Wait till I catch my breath. I'll tell you in a minute. 24:23.580 --> 24:24.580 My agent said... 24:24.580 --> 24:26.580 All right, let's have it quiet in the studio, huh? 24:26.580 --> 24:29.580 My agent called. He said to come over here right away. 24:29.580 --> 24:30.580 I'm going to do the show. 24:30.580 --> 24:34.580 Oh, no! Oh, what a precocious building this coast is! 24:34.580 --> 24:36.580 Oh, Peggy, I knew you'd do it. 24:36.580 --> 24:37.580 I didn't have a thing to do with him. 24:37.580 --> 24:39.580 My agent said Jerry, Jerry did the whole thing. 24:39.580 --> 24:41.580 Jerry John? 24:41.580 --> 24:44.580 I hear somebody mention my name in vain. 24:44.580 --> 24:47.580 I said let's have it quiet in the... 24:47.580 --> 24:49.580 Sorry, Mr. Charles. 24:49.580 --> 24:51.580 Peasant. 24:51.580 --> 24:53.580 Flo, you look as attractive as a rich aunt. 24:53.580 --> 24:54.580 Jerry! 24:54.580 --> 24:55.580 Hey, hey, take it easy. 24:55.580 --> 24:57.580 The other kids will turn purple with envy. 24:57.580 --> 24:58.580 Green. 24:58.580 --> 25:00.580 For me, they turn purple. 25:00.580 --> 25:02.580 But old Flo always gives me the straight line. 25:02.580 --> 25:03.580 What are you doing here? 25:03.580 --> 25:05.580 Oh, you big lug as if you didn't know. 25:05.580 --> 25:08.580 Your agent's got the biggest mouth since Moby Dick. 25:08.580 --> 25:10.580 I told him not to mention my name. 25:10.580 --> 25:11.580 Jerry! 25:11.580 --> 25:12.580 Wait a minute, Peggy. 25:12.580 --> 25:13.580 You don't have to thank me. 25:13.580 --> 25:15.580 You've got plenty of talent. 25:15.580 --> 25:17.580 You're a great vocalist. 25:17.580 --> 25:19.580 You deserve every break you get. 25:19.580 --> 25:21.580 Well, let's get on with the rehearsal. 25:21.580 --> 25:22.580 We laid a bomb last week. 25:22.580 --> 25:24.580 Let's see if we can do a little better this time. 25:24.580 --> 25:26.580 The commercial's got more last than we did. 25:26.580 --> 25:27.580 Mr. Johnston. 25:27.580 --> 25:28.580 Yeah? 25:28.580 --> 25:29.580 I'm sorry. 25:29.580 --> 25:31.580 I guess I owe you an apology. 25:31.580 --> 25:32.580 Why? 25:32.580 --> 25:34.580 You never did anything to me. 25:34.580 --> 25:36.580 Except maybe not laugh at my jokes. 25:36.580 --> 25:39.580 Okay, believe it at that. 25:39.580 --> 25:44.580 Honey, I just guess we had him figured all wrong. 25:44.580 --> 25:45.580 Yeah. 25:45.580 --> 25:49.580 Well, Shakespeare, find out where the butterfly sleeps yet? 25:49.580 --> 25:51.580 No, not quite yet, Jerry. 25:51.580 --> 25:56.580 Every time I think I got you figured out, you do something to confuse me. 25:56.580 --> 25:59.580 You know, maybe you ought to get a slant on my personal life. 25:59.580 --> 26:01.580 I got one, you know. 26:01.580 --> 26:02.580 I'll tell you what. 26:02.580 --> 26:04.580 Come up to the house tonight and meet my sister. 26:04.580 --> 26:05.580 All right. 26:05.580 --> 26:06.580 Oh, yeah. 26:06.580 --> 26:07.580 Bring that Peggy with you. 26:07.580 --> 26:08.580 Hey, John! 26:08.580 --> 26:09.580 Why don't you want to come on? 26:09.580 --> 26:10.580 Hey, pal. 26:15.580 --> 26:17.580 What's the matter with that Jane? 26:17.580 --> 26:18.580 I don't know. 26:18.580 --> 26:19.580 Who is she? 26:19.580 --> 26:20.580 I don't know. 26:20.580 --> 26:21.580 Somebody says she's a new singer on the show. 26:21.580 --> 26:22.580 Singer? 26:22.580 --> 26:23.580 Yeah, she's been over there crying. 26:23.580 --> 26:24.580 What about? 26:24.580 --> 26:25.580 How do I know? 26:25.580 --> 26:26.580 I know she's crying. 26:26.580 --> 26:39.580 It's not my department. 26:39.580 --> 26:41.580 Hey, Jerry, did you write this? 26:41.580 --> 26:43.580 A little something I knocked off in my spare time. 26:43.580 --> 26:44.580 Have a booze. 26:44.580 --> 26:46.580 Oh, thank you, thank you. 26:46.580 --> 26:47.580 Here you are, sis. 26:47.580 --> 26:48.580 Thanks. 26:48.580 --> 26:50.580 Here you are, pal. 26:50.580 --> 26:51.580 What is it? 26:51.580 --> 26:54.580 It's a little concoction Cosmo draped up. 26:54.580 --> 26:57.580 It's sarsaparilla with an egg in it and just a little dash of sauerkraut juice to give 26:57.580 --> 26:58.580 it a little zing. 26:58.580 --> 27:00.580 Hey, Jerry, how about you playing with this? 27:00.580 --> 27:02.580 I'm not doing a very good job of it. 27:02.580 --> 27:03.580 Sure. 27:03.580 --> 27:04.580 Is he always like that? 27:04.580 --> 27:05.580 No, not always. 27:05.580 --> 27:06.580 How can you tell whether he's being serious or funny? 27:06.580 --> 27:07.580 You mean the real Jerry Mr. Bixson? 27:07.580 --> 27:08.580 I thought writers were perceptive people. 27:08.580 --> 27:09.580 Are you dodging the question? 27:09.580 --> 27:10.580 I know when he's happy. 27:10.580 --> 27:11.580 I know when he's really joking. 27:11.580 --> 27:12.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:12.580 --> 27:13.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:13.580 --> 27:14.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:14.580 --> 27:15.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:15.580 --> 27:16.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:16.580 --> 27:17.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:17.580 --> 27:18.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:18.580 --> 27:24.580 I know when he's really sad. 27:24.580 --> 27:25.580 I know when he's happy. 27:25.580 --> 27:26.580 I know when he's really joking. 27:26.580 --> 27:27.580 I know when he's hurt. 27:27.580 --> 27:28.580 I know when he's hurt. 27:28.580 --> 27:29.580 How can you tell? 27:29.580 --> 27:30.580 I like him. 27:30.580 --> 27:33.580 You don't, do you? 27:33.580 --> 27:34.580 Frankly, no. 27:34.580 --> 27:37.580 Yet you're writing this article about him. 27:37.580 --> 27:38.580 That doesn't disqualify me. 27:38.580 --> 27:41.580 You don't have to like somebody to understand them. 27:41.580 --> 27:42.580 But can you be objective? 27:42.580 --> 27:45.580 I'll be interested to see how the article turns out. 27:45.580 --> 27:47.580 I'd like for you to see it. 27:47.580 --> 27:48.580 Before I turn it in. 27:48.580 --> 27:50.580 Oh, then you are doubtful. 27:50.580 --> 27:52.580 I didn't say I was. 27:52.580 --> 27:56.580 I think you'll find the clue to Jerry is really quite simple. 27:56.580 --> 27:58.580 I'm sure you'll hit on him. 27:58.580 --> 28:01.580 And now I'd like to ask you a question. 28:01.580 --> 28:04.580 Are you in love with Barry? 28:04.580 --> 28:05.580 Peggy? 28:05.580 --> 28:08.580 I was once. 28:08.580 --> 28:09.580 Could be again. 28:09.580 --> 28:10.580 Very easily. 28:10.580 --> 28:13.580 Why do you ask? 28:13.580 --> 28:14.580 Curiosity. 28:14.580 --> 28:16.580 You get it? 28:16.580 --> 28:19.580 Such a nice day to pigeon walk all the way from Glendale to Pasadena. 28:19.580 --> 28:20.580 Oh, no. 28:20.580 --> 28:23.580 A little corny, huh? 28:23.580 --> 28:24.580 I think that's corny. 28:24.580 --> 28:27.580 You should have seen the first act they ever did. 28:27.580 --> 28:29.580 I was working in a sewer in Coney Island. 28:29.580 --> 28:31.580 The joint was so damp, the manager never had to water the drinks. 28:31.580 --> 28:34.580 He just let the caulk off the bottles. 28:34.580 --> 28:36.580 What a routine that was. 28:36.580 --> 28:38.580 Hey, I'll show it to you. 28:38.580 --> 28:39.580 Oh, well, wait a minute, Jerry. 28:39.580 --> 28:41.580 It's getting late and we've got an early call. 28:41.580 --> 28:43.580 A couple of laughs will do you more good than sleep. 28:43.580 --> 28:45.580 Hey, get a load of this. 28:45.580 --> 28:47.580 I come out with a broken down banjo, see? 28:47.580 --> 28:49.580 I sing my girlfriend gave me this, folks. 28:49.580 --> 28:52.580 She wants me to learn to play it on account that she's very musically inclined. 28:52.580 --> 28:55.580 As a matter of fact, my girlfriend looks like a musical instrument, 28:55.580 --> 28:56.580 a percussion instrument. 28:56.580 --> 28:58.580 She's got a head like a kettle drum. 28:58.580 --> 29:00.580 Every time I slug her, she rumbles. 29:00.580 --> 29:04.580 Then I say a father comes out. 29:04.580 --> 29:08.580 Nothing, huh? 29:08.580 --> 29:10.580 Jerry, our guests have to leave. 29:10.580 --> 29:11.580 Well, I didn't say it was good, did I? 29:11.580 --> 29:13.580 It was the first act they ever did in show business. 29:13.580 --> 29:15.580 Thanks for asking us up, Jerry. 29:15.580 --> 29:16.580 We really have to leave now. 29:16.580 --> 29:17.580 I'll see you at the door. 29:17.580 --> 29:18.580 Thanks a lot, Jerry. 29:18.580 --> 29:20.580 See you tomorrow morning early. 29:20.580 --> 29:23.580 Bel, it's been a pleasure meeting you. 29:23.580 --> 29:24.580 Thank you very much, Bill. 29:24.580 --> 29:42.580 Thank you. 29:42.580 --> 29:44.580 All right, you don't have to say it, I know. 29:44.580 --> 29:46.580 I made a fool of myself again. 29:46.580 --> 29:49.580 Must you play the comic every minute? 29:49.580 --> 29:50.580 I give them what they expect. 29:50.580 --> 29:51.580 They don't expect anything. 29:51.580 --> 29:52.580 You're just relaxing to yourself. 29:52.580 --> 29:53.580 They like you a lot more. 29:53.580 --> 29:58.580 Will you stop picking on me, Bel? 29:58.580 --> 30:02.580 I'm sorry I yelled at you. 30:02.580 --> 30:08.580 Jerry, did you ever think of doing an act without gags? 30:08.580 --> 30:09.580 What do you mean? 30:09.580 --> 30:11.580 Well, I don't know exactly what you'd call it. 30:11.580 --> 30:13.580 Comedy with a heart. 30:13.580 --> 30:15.580 You mean that drippy stuff? 30:15.580 --> 30:16.580 It'll fall flat in my face. 30:16.580 --> 30:19.580 But it's worth a try, isn't it? 30:19.580 --> 30:20.580 Look, honey, you run my life. 30:20.580 --> 30:23.580 Don't start running my business. 30:23.580 --> 30:25.580 Why should I take a chance like that? 30:25.580 --> 30:26.580 Change my style? 30:26.580 --> 30:28.580 No, I don't want you to change it. 30:28.580 --> 30:30.580 I just want you to add to it. 30:30.580 --> 30:35.580 I think you ought to show people that you're something more than a fast-talking gag man. 30:35.580 --> 30:37.580 I think you ought to show that to yourself. 30:37.580 --> 30:38.580 What would that get me? 30:38.580 --> 30:40.580 The kind of respect you want. 30:40.580 --> 30:41.580 Now, what kind of a crack is that? 30:41.580 --> 30:42.580 Would you try, honey? 30:42.580 --> 30:44.580 Would you please? 30:44.580 --> 30:46.580 Look, you're a nice kid. 30:46.580 --> 30:48.580 You're smart as a whip, and I love you. 30:48.580 --> 30:50.580 But you've got to stop needling me. 30:50.580 --> 30:53.580 I've got feelings, too, you know. 30:53.580 --> 30:57.580 I'm sorry. 30:57.580 --> 30:58.580 Wait a minute, honey. 30:58.580 --> 31:01.580 You don't have to get upset about that. 31:01.580 --> 31:02.580 Come on, sweetie. 31:02.580 --> 31:04.580 You're shrinking my tie. 31:04.580 --> 31:05.580 Now, come on. 31:05.580 --> 31:06.580 I know you. 31:06.580 --> 31:09.580 First you butter me up, and then you swing the ax. 31:09.580 --> 31:11.580 And what's it leaning up to? 31:11.580 --> 31:14.580 I thought you said she was unimportant. 31:14.580 --> 31:15.580 That was before. 31:15.580 --> 31:16.580 She's in love with Bill. 31:16.580 --> 31:18.580 Forget about her. 31:18.580 --> 31:22.580 Oh, don't you know you always see yourself through other people's eyes? 31:22.580 --> 31:25.580 If everything's going fine, then it's great. 31:25.580 --> 31:28.580 But if it isn't, you'll grow resentful and your work falls off. 31:28.580 --> 31:31.580 And you don't change until everything's going your way again. 31:31.580 --> 31:33.580 It's got nothing to do with Peggy. 31:33.580 --> 31:36.580 She doesn't want you, and you don't want her. 31:36.580 --> 31:37.580 How do you know? 31:37.580 --> 31:38.580 You've been hanging out with gypsies? 31:38.580 --> 31:39.580 She's got no use for you. 31:39.580 --> 31:40.580 Can't you see that? 31:40.580 --> 32:09.580 In her eyes, you're nothing but a big buffoon! 32:09.580 --> 32:32.580 I'll have Cosmo clean it up. 32:32.580 --> 32:35.580 How are you doing on that trek into the past? 32:35.580 --> 32:37.580 We're on a slow train, Bill. 32:37.580 --> 32:38.580 Why? 32:38.580 --> 32:40.580 We've wasted three years of our lives. 32:40.580 --> 32:42.580 We could have been married, happy. 32:42.580 --> 32:46.580 Bill, if you must know how I feel right now, I'll tell you. 32:46.580 --> 32:48.580 I want a career more than ever. 32:48.580 --> 32:54.580 All right, I couldn't make it as an actress, but I think I can make it in television. 32:54.580 --> 32:55.580 I see. 32:55.580 --> 32:59.580 Bill, I couldn't bear the thought of giving up now, especially now. 32:59.580 --> 33:02.580 I'll be haunted by it for the rest of my life. 33:02.580 --> 33:04.580 What do you mean, especially now? 33:04.580 --> 33:11.580 Oh, Bill, I'm in a tough spot. An assistant director rarely gets moved up, not unless you know somebody. 33:11.580 --> 33:12.580 Like who, for instance? 33:12.580 --> 33:17.580 Somebody important. 33:17.580 --> 33:19.580 How about a big-time comic? 33:19.580 --> 33:22.580 Would he be important enough? 33:22.580 --> 33:31.580 Bill, I'm going to make it, one way or another. 33:31.580 --> 34:00.580 Get me another cup of coffee. 34:00.580 --> 34:01.580 Hey, Jer? 34:01.580 --> 34:02.580 Hi. 34:02.580 --> 34:04.580 I have a big idea for giving you supper. 34:04.580 --> 34:08.580 There's a lot of strange things going on, especially around the stomach. 34:08.580 --> 34:10.580 Well, I brought some coffee. 34:10.580 --> 34:11.580 Thanks. 34:11.580 --> 34:16.580 Here you go. 34:16.580 --> 34:18.580 How did you know I used eight lumps of sugar? 34:18.580 --> 34:21.580 Oh, gee, will you cut it out, please? 34:21.580 --> 34:22.580 I like you better this way. 34:22.580 --> 34:28.580 All right, so I only use five lumps. 34:28.580 --> 34:30.580 New material for the show? 34:30.580 --> 34:31.580 Yep. 34:31.580 --> 34:33.580 Ready? 34:33.580 --> 34:36.580 Peggy, what are you doing in this amazing business? 34:36.580 --> 34:38.580 What do you want? 34:38.580 --> 34:39.580 Do I want? 34:39.580 --> 34:40.580 Yeah, what do you want? 34:40.580 --> 34:41.580 Everybody wants supper. 34:41.580 --> 34:43.580 Even Cosmo has dreams. 34:43.580 --> 34:45.580 Stop snoring in there, Cosmo. 34:45.580 --> 34:47.580 Cut it out, Jer. 34:47.580 --> 34:51.580 I guess I'm no different from anybody else in show business. 34:51.580 --> 34:53.580 I want to get ahead. 34:53.580 --> 34:54.580 It's a long haul. 34:54.580 --> 34:56.580 And don't I know it. 34:56.580 --> 34:58.580 It's tough even when you have got talent. 34:58.580 --> 34:59.580 Yeah. 34:59.580 --> 35:03.580 Of course, a little influence always helps, too. 35:03.580 --> 35:06.580 You know, I stand pretty high with this network. 35:06.580 --> 35:08.580 Would you like to come up sometime and see my ratings? 35:08.580 --> 35:11.580 Oh, Jer, oh, Jer, now honestly, I wasn't hinting. 35:11.580 --> 35:13.580 Oh, of course. 35:13.580 --> 35:16.580 But since I thought of it, let me follow it through. 35:16.580 --> 35:17.580 If you're good, you're last. 35:17.580 --> 35:20.580 If you're not, you're dead. 35:20.580 --> 35:21.580 I got it. 35:21.580 --> 35:22.580 I'll introduce you to Peggy. 35:22.580 --> 35:23.580 You will, Jerry? 35:23.580 --> 35:24.580 When? 35:24.580 --> 35:25.580 Right after the show tonight. 35:25.580 --> 35:28.580 Oh, bless you. 35:28.580 --> 35:30.580 I don't know what you're so excited about. 35:30.580 --> 35:31.580 Is it worth it? 35:31.580 --> 35:32.580 Is it worth it? 35:32.580 --> 35:34.580 Of course it's worth it. 35:34.580 --> 35:36.580 I don't know. 35:36.580 --> 35:44.580 Your work, your hope, do without things, knock your brains out, you finally make it. 35:44.580 --> 35:46.580 What have you got? 35:46.580 --> 35:49.580 I've been living on laughs all my life. 35:49.580 --> 35:58.580 Laughs are my food, my drink, my sleep, my money, my friends, my applause, everything but company. 35:58.580 --> 36:00.580 Oh, Jer. 36:00.580 --> 36:04.580 You know, I was a nice average kid when I was young. 36:04.580 --> 36:08.580 Then I found out I could make people laugh, and I liked it. 36:08.580 --> 36:11.580 So I made them laugh some more. 36:11.580 --> 36:14.580 I got to feel real important. 36:14.580 --> 36:19.580 And if ever they didn't laugh, well, I felt a little hurt. 36:19.580 --> 36:22.580 Before I knew it, the nice average kid was buried. 36:22.580 --> 36:24.580 He died laughing. 36:24.580 --> 36:27.580 Oh, Jer. 36:27.580 --> 36:30.580 You're an all right guy, just as you are. 36:30.580 --> 36:31.580 I knew it, I knew it. 36:31.580 --> 36:33.580 I knew it the first minute I met you. 36:33.580 --> 36:34.580 You're nuts about me. 36:34.580 --> 36:48.580 Oh, yes, I am nuts about you. 36:48.580 --> 36:50.580 Well? 36:50.580 --> 36:52.580 You don't like him, do you? 36:52.580 --> 36:54.580 That's got nothing to do with what's in there. 36:54.580 --> 36:57.580 These things you hint at, are they necessary? 36:57.580 --> 36:58.580 Are they true? 36:58.580 --> 37:00.580 You don't know. 37:00.580 --> 37:01.580 If Jerry sees this... 37:01.580 --> 37:05.580 Now look, this isn't supposed to be a peaches and cream article. 37:05.580 --> 37:08.580 This is going to be read by sophisticated people, people in show business. 37:08.580 --> 37:11.580 They want an honest account, the good and the bad. 37:11.580 --> 37:13.580 I had to write it as I saw it. 37:13.580 --> 37:15.580 But you saw what you wanted to see. 37:15.580 --> 37:17.580 This is not Jerry. 37:17.580 --> 37:19.580 You've seen how he acts when people reject him. 37:19.580 --> 37:27.580 What's he going to do when he reads this, when this is printed for everyone to read? 37:27.580 --> 37:28.580 Your brother's a liar and a phony. 37:28.580 --> 37:30.580 I didn't print that. 37:30.580 --> 37:32.580 He's a hideous, vain, conceited, and at times downright vicious. 37:32.580 --> 37:35.580 I didn't print that either. 37:35.580 --> 37:37.580 I've seen him perform offstage. 37:37.580 --> 37:39.580 I saw what he did to Flo Stevens because she brushed him off. 37:39.580 --> 37:40.580 And then he uses her. 37:40.580 --> 37:46.580 Gets her a job so he can prove to my girl what a great guy he is. 37:46.580 --> 37:48.580 Are you sure about that? 37:48.580 --> 37:52.580 About Flo, about why Jerry got her that job? 37:52.580 --> 37:55.580 No, I'm not. 37:55.580 --> 37:57.580 Well, then you... 37:57.580 --> 37:59.580 You don't really want to print this, do you? 37:59.580 --> 38:00.580 No, I'm not. 38:00.580 --> 38:01.580 You'd never be sure of your motive. 38:01.580 --> 38:03.580 Motive? 38:03.580 --> 38:07.580 Please, take a little time. 38:07.580 --> 38:09.580 Think about it. 38:09.580 --> 38:11.580 Please. 38:11.580 --> 38:12.580 All right. 38:12.580 --> 38:15.580 You promise me Jerry won't see that. 38:15.580 --> 38:18.580 Okay, I promise. 38:18.580 --> 38:20.580 Thank you. 38:20.580 --> 38:22.580 His television show will be on in just a minute. 38:22.580 --> 38:25.580 Do you want to stick around and see it? 38:25.580 --> 38:28.580 I've seen it. 38:28.580 --> 38:30.580 All right, then. 38:30.580 --> 38:31.580 Good night. 38:31.580 --> 38:46.580 Good night. 38:46.580 --> 38:47.580 Okay, boys, tear it down. 38:47.580 --> 38:48.580 You girls are through. 38:48.580 --> 38:51.580 Now leave, huh? 38:51.580 --> 38:53.580 You did a great job. 38:53.580 --> 38:55.580 Thank you. 38:55.580 --> 38:57.580 Thanks, everyone. 38:57.580 --> 38:58.580 Good night. 38:58.580 --> 38:59.580 Good night. 38:59.580 --> 39:00.580 Good night. 39:00.580 --> 39:01.580 Hey. 39:01.580 --> 39:02.580 Hi. 39:02.580 --> 39:03.580 Good evening, Ross. 39:03.580 --> 39:04.580 How are you? 39:04.580 --> 39:05.580 Did you see our trade show? 39:05.580 --> 39:07.580 No, I sat in the car and listened to the radio. 39:07.580 --> 39:08.580 Oh, you traitor. 39:08.580 --> 39:09.580 Jerry gave a beautiful performance. 39:09.580 --> 39:10.580 Did he? 39:10.580 --> 39:11.580 Yes. 39:11.580 --> 39:13.580 I see you finished your story, maybe? 39:13.580 --> 39:15.580 Well, I thought I had until Peggy. 39:15.580 --> 39:16.580 I've got to talk to her. 39:16.580 --> 39:17.580 Oh, Blake. 39:17.580 --> 39:18.580 Blake, I was looking for you. 39:18.580 --> 39:19.580 Rehearsal's been changed for next week. 39:19.580 --> 39:21.580 Will you check with the studio manager about time? 39:21.580 --> 39:23.580 Peg, tell me about it on your time, huh? 39:23.580 --> 39:25.580 Well, Peg, how did I do? 39:25.580 --> 39:26.580 What was the difference? 39:26.580 --> 39:28.580 Oh, Jerry was the greatest. 39:28.580 --> 39:29.580 Hey, what's the long kisser for? 39:29.580 --> 39:31.580 You look like somebody stuffed your underwear. 39:31.580 --> 39:32.580 Ha, ha. 39:32.580 --> 39:34.580 Nothing, huh? 39:34.580 --> 39:35.580 Well, are you ready? 39:35.580 --> 39:36.580 I'm off then. 39:36.580 --> 39:37.580 Hey, wait a minute. 39:37.580 --> 39:38.580 What is that? 39:38.580 --> 39:39.580 I thought we had a date. 39:39.580 --> 39:41.580 You have been preempted by me. 39:41.580 --> 39:43.580 Stand aside for the better man. 39:43.580 --> 39:44.580 Bill, I'm awfully sorry. 39:44.580 --> 39:46.580 I tried to telephone you to tell you that I... 39:46.580 --> 39:47.580 Tell me what? 39:47.580 --> 39:50.580 That we're starting the same old runaround like three years ago? 39:50.580 --> 39:52.580 Sing me the old song, Sambo. 39:52.580 --> 39:56.580 I don't ever recall making any promises to you ever, Bill. 39:56.580 --> 39:57.580 We had a date. 39:57.580 --> 39:58.580 And so now I've broken it. 39:58.580 --> 39:59.580 You've no right to complain. 39:59.580 --> 40:00.580 You know what I want. 40:00.580 --> 40:01.580 I've told you a thousand times. 40:01.580 --> 40:04.580 Now, leave me alone. 40:04.580 --> 40:06.580 Well, that's quite a setup. 40:06.580 --> 40:08.580 Everybody using everybody else. 40:08.580 --> 40:10.580 You use him to get ahead. 40:10.580 --> 40:12.580 He uses you because he's got to feed his fat ego. 40:12.580 --> 40:13.580 Now, what kind of talk is that? 40:13.580 --> 40:15.580 What kind of a guy do you think I am? 40:15.580 --> 40:17.580 There's a straight line if I ever heard one. 40:17.580 --> 40:19.580 Okay, I'll give you the snapper. 40:19.580 --> 40:21.580 Make room for me in this act. 40:21.580 --> 40:24.580 I'm going to be a stinker too for a change. 40:24.580 --> 40:25.580 There's your snapper. 40:25.580 --> 40:29.580 That's what I think of you. 40:29.580 --> 40:31.580 Oh, ridiculous. 40:31.580 --> 41:00.580 Come on, Jerry, let's go. 41:00.580 --> 41:15.580 All right, let me have it fast and merciful. 41:15.580 --> 41:16.580 How was it? 41:16.580 --> 41:17.580 No acts tonight, Jerry. 41:17.580 --> 41:18.580 No complaints? 41:18.580 --> 41:19.580 No. 41:19.580 --> 41:20.580 You liked it? 41:20.580 --> 41:21.580 Yes. 41:21.580 --> 41:22.580 What's the matter? 41:22.580 --> 41:23.580 The set blow up? 41:23.580 --> 41:24.580 That's it? 41:24.580 --> 41:25.580 You didn't see the show? 41:25.580 --> 41:26.580 I saw the show. 41:26.580 --> 41:27.580 All right, how was it? 41:27.580 --> 41:28.580 It was wonderful. 41:28.580 --> 41:29.580 Better than that. 41:29.580 --> 41:31.580 No, that's the kind of language I understand. 41:31.580 --> 41:33.580 You know, you're not dealing with a superhuman. 41:33.580 --> 41:35.580 I don't even belong on the universe. 41:35.580 --> 41:37.580 You stick around a little while, I'll give you a cup of coffee. 41:37.580 --> 41:38.580 Oh, no, I want to sleep. 41:38.580 --> 41:40.580 I've got a lot of dreaming to do. 41:40.580 --> 41:41.580 Hey. 41:41.580 --> 41:42.580 Huh? 41:42.580 --> 41:43.580 Want to hear a joke? 41:43.580 --> 41:44.580 No, I don't want to hear a joke. 41:44.580 --> 41:45.580 You've never heard this one before? 41:45.580 --> 41:46.580 I'll bet you. 41:46.580 --> 41:50.580 Any amount. 41:50.580 --> 41:51.580 Keep your money. 41:51.580 --> 41:52.580 I've got to get to bed. 41:52.580 --> 41:55.580 I've got an early rehearsal. 41:55.580 --> 41:56.580 Jerry? 41:56.580 --> 41:58.580 Yeah? 41:58.580 --> 42:25.580 What happened tonight? 42:25.580 --> 42:27.580 Jerry? 42:27.580 --> 42:51.580 Jerry? 42:51.580 --> 42:53.580 And now let's pause a moment 42:53.580 --> 43:00.580 and look at our Westinghouse program again. 43:00.580 --> 43:03.580 Stop! 43:03.580 --> 43:04.580 Yes, stop. 43:04.580 --> 43:06.580 Don't rinse those dishes. 43:06.580 --> 43:08.580 Well, there's simply no need to. 43:08.580 --> 43:11.580 Not when you have this amazing new Westinghouse dishwasher. 43:11.580 --> 43:14.580 You see, it's so much more thorough than other dishwashers 43:14.580 --> 43:16.580 that there's no pre-rinsing. 43:16.580 --> 43:18.580 Why, you'll be out of the kitchen in just two minutes 43:18.580 --> 43:20.580 when you own this dishwasher. 43:20.580 --> 43:21.580 It really is remarkable. 43:21.580 --> 43:22.580 Now, here's what you do. 43:22.580 --> 43:25.580 You just scrape your food waste right off your plate 43:25.580 --> 43:27.580 and then put your dishes over here. 43:27.580 --> 43:31.580 And you can use this surface as a loading surface at any time 43:31.580 --> 43:35.580 because, look, the wash well rolls right out. 43:35.580 --> 43:38.580 And the Westinghouse dishwasher is so easy to load, too, 43:38.580 --> 43:41.580 and it holds more dishes and pots and pans 43:41.580 --> 43:43.580 than any other dishwasher made today. 43:43.580 --> 43:47.580 It washes them cleaner, too, because of greater efficiency 43:47.580 --> 43:49.580 and it dries them all automatically. 43:49.580 --> 43:53.580 And the Westinghouse dishwasher costs less to install, too, 43:53.580 --> 43:55.580 and it comes in these models. 43:55.580 --> 44:00.580 This cabinet model, this under-the-counter model, 44:00.580 --> 44:04.580 and this new portable model that requires no installation 44:04.580 --> 44:09.580 and that your dealer will be glad to let you try before you buy. 44:09.580 --> 44:12.580 I'll bet you're wondering what happened to those food scraps 44:12.580 --> 44:14.580 that I scraped into the sink here. 44:14.580 --> 44:18.580 Well, they went right down into this Westinghouse food waste disposer 44:18.580 --> 44:20.580 that you can either have with this model 44:20.580 --> 44:23.580 or you can have installed in your present sink, 44:23.580 --> 44:25.580 and it's wonderfully handy. 44:25.580 --> 44:27.580 And let me tell you, you're really going to love 44:27.580 --> 44:30.580 owning this Westinghouse dishwasher 44:30.580 --> 44:33.580 because it makes every night your night off. 44:33.580 --> 44:35.580 It gets you out of the kitchen after dinner 44:35.580 --> 44:37.580 to join in the family fun. 44:37.580 --> 44:41.580 So go and see the Westinghouse dishwasher at your dealer's tomorrow. 44:41.580 --> 44:43.580 Pick the model you like best, 44:43.580 --> 44:48.580 and remember, you can be sure if it's Westinghouse. 44:56.580 --> 45:01.580 We return now to Westinghouse Studio One and the Laugh Maker. 45:03.580 --> 45:05.580 I did my best. 45:05.580 --> 45:07.580 I tried to understand it. 45:07.580 --> 45:09.580 Yes, but you didn't. 45:09.580 --> 45:10.580 It's really quite a pity. 45:10.580 --> 45:12.580 You might have been a better man if you had. 45:12.580 --> 45:15.580 I still haven't changed my mind about him. 45:15.580 --> 45:18.580 Well, thank you for coming by. 45:18.580 --> 45:19.580 Now you'd better go. 45:19.580 --> 45:21.580 I'm expecting Jerry any minute. 45:21.580 --> 45:23.580 Look, Belle, has Peg been here? 45:23.580 --> 45:24.580 No. 45:24.580 --> 45:26.580 I understand Jerry's seen a great deal of her. 45:26.580 --> 45:27.580 You approve of that? 45:27.580 --> 45:29.580 Of what? 45:29.580 --> 45:30.580 She's in love with me. 45:30.580 --> 45:31.580 Has been for years. 45:31.580 --> 45:33.580 I know. 45:33.580 --> 45:37.580 Well, seems to me that you hold the whip hand around here. 45:37.580 --> 45:38.580 Why don't you do something about it? 45:38.580 --> 45:40.580 Why do you let it go on? 45:40.580 --> 45:42.580 Why don't you tell him he's making a fool of himself? 45:42.580 --> 45:44.580 Because he's in love with her. 45:44.580 --> 45:46.580 You never thought of that, did you? 45:46.580 --> 45:48.580 You thought he was incapable of love. 45:48.580 --> 45:49.580 That's what you thought, huh? 45:49.580 --> 45:51.580 And you talk about conceit. 45:51.580 --> 45:52.580 You talk about vanity. 45:52.580 --> 45:53.580 She's in love with me. 45:53.580 --> 45:56.580 I don't care about her, and I don't care about you. 45:56.580 --> 45:59.580 I'm interested in only one person, my brother. 45:59.580 --> 46:02.580 And tell him I will soon be there. 46:02.580 --> 46:03.580 Oh, what a clever man. 46:03.580 --> 46:05.580 Except for the last two, we'll try it again. 46:05.580 --> 46:09.580 And tell him I will soon be there. 46:09.580 --> 46:10.580 Oh, so it's you. 46:10.580 --> 46:12.580 The poison pen artist. 46:12.580 --> 46:14.580 I want to talk to you. 46:14.580 --> 46:17.580 You print one line of that stuff about me, and I'll sue you for slander. 46:17.580 --> 46:19.580 It's not going to be printed. Don't worry about it. 46:19.580 --> 46:21.580 You bet your swollen eyeballs it ain't. 46:21.580 --> 46:23.580 But I'm glad you read it. 46:23.580 --> 46:24.580 I know what it did to you. 46:24.580 --> 46:25.580 You had it coming to you. 46:25.580 --> 46:28.580 Bill! 46:28.580 --> 46:29.580 Goodbye, Peg. 46:29.580 --> 46:31.580 Glad you got what you wanted. 46:31.580 --> 46:32.580 You did get it, didn't you? 46:32.580 --> 46:34.580 Yes, I did get it. 46:34.580 --> 46:35.580 Good. 46:35.580 --> 46:36.580 Then everything's perfect. 46:36.580 --> 46:38.580 Everybody's got what they wanted. 46:38.580 --> 46:39.580 Now, keep your eyes shut. 46:39.580 --> 46:41.580 Make believe we don't know the truth. 46:41.580 --> 46:43.580 Let's make believe we're all very nice people. 46:43.580 --> 46:44.580 All right, you've said enough. 46:44.580 --> 46:45.580 Now, get out. 46:45.580 --> 46:48.580 Three years ago, Peg, I wanted to tell you, you've got no talent. 46:48.580 --> 46:49.580 Don't you know that? 46:49.580 --> 46:51.580 No talent for what you want to do. 46:51.580 --> 46:55.580 The only way you'll ever get anywhere is by lying to yourself and to everybody else. 46:55.580 --> 46:58.580 I never lied to you, Bill. 46:58.580 --> 47:00.580 Only because it was easier not to. 47:00.580 --> 47:02.580 But let's start now, shall we? 47:02.580 --> 47:03.580 Do you love him? 47:03.580 --> 47:04.580 You shot off your mouth enough. 47:04.580 --> 47:05.580 What's the matter? 47:05.580 --> 47:06.580 Afraid you'll find out you've been kidding yourself? 47:06.580 --> 47:07.580 Go on, get out of here. 47:07.580 --> 47:09.580 You'll make nothing but trouble ever since you came here. 47:09.580 --> 47:10.580 First, I want an answer. 47:10.580 --> 47:11.580 How about it, Peg? 47:11.580 --> 47:12.580 It's a simple question. 47:12.580 --> 47:13.580 What is your answer? 47:13.580 --> 47:15.580 Do you love him? 47:15.580 --> 47:16.580 Go on, tell her. 47:16.580 --> 47:18.580 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 47:18.580 --> 47:20.580 Who said anything about anybody loving anybody? 47:20.580 --> 47:21.580 Sorry, Jerry. 47:21.580 --> 47:22.580 What a routine this is. 47:22.580 --> 47:25.580 With a couple of good laughs, I could fracture an audience with it. 47:25.580 --> 47:27.580 Maybe I ought to call my writers up. 47:27.580 --> 47:29.580 Boy, I can hear the dialogue now. 47:29.580 --> 47:33.580 I say to her, what do you want with a slob like me when you can have a handsome guy like him? 47:33.580 --> 47:35.580 Maybe I can do a baggy pants bit and a couple of pratfalls. 47:35.580 --> 47:36.580 Jerry, please, Jerry. 47:36.580 --> 47:38.580 Go on, get out, get out. 47:46.580 --> 47:48.580 I put out a clean blue shirt for you on the bed. 47:48.580 --> 47:49.580 You'd better hurry. 47:49.580 --> 47:51.580 You'll be late for the run-through. 47:57.580 --> 47:59.580 I'm sorry. 47:59.580 --> 48:00.580 I had to do it. 48:00.580 --> 48:02.580 I know it wasn't right. 48:02.580 --> 48:05.580 I'm just questioning your methods, Mr. Berkston. 48:05.580 --> 48:09.580 Because you found out that after all it really was quite simple, didn't you? 48:09.580 --> 48:11.580 He's just a guy like anybody else. 48:11.580 --> 48:15.580 Oh, he's a braggart, yes, mean sometimes, maybe vicious. 48:15.580 --> 48:18.580 But is he anything you've shown yourself not to be? 48:20.580 --> 48:22.580 I guess you got something there. 48:29.580 --> 48:30.580 Hey, pal. 48:30.580 --> 48:32.580 I've got a great sketch for next week. 48:32.580 --> 48:35.580 It's a prize fight routine, see? 48:35.580 --> 48:39.580 I get in the ring with a big bruise and I'm wearing trunks that come way past my knees. 48:40.580 --> 48:41.580 Oh, baby. 48:41.580 --> 48:42.580 Jerry. 48:43.580 --> 48:46.580 I don't feel like making anybody laugh tonight. 48:46.580 --> 48:48.580 Just like that guy in the opera. 48:48.580 --> 48:52.580 You've got to stop trying to be something you're not. 48:52.580 --> 48:55.580 If you don't, you'll never be happy. 48:55.580 --> 48:57.580 Don't worry, I'll change. 48:58.580 --> 48:59.580 Belle? 48:59.580 --> 49:00.580 Yeah? 49:00.580 --> 49:02.580 I put a new sketch in the show tonight, I think you're going to like it. 49:02.580 --> 49:04.580 I'll have the axe ready and sharpened. 49:04.580 --> 49:05.580 Okay. 49:06.580 --> 49:07.580 Oswald! 49:07.580 --> 49:09.580 I want to ask you something. 49:09.580 --> 49:12.580 I may not be good looking, but I ain't bad looking, ever. 49:12.580 --> 49:13.580 Hurry up, you'll be late. 49:13.580 --> 49:14.580 All right, I'm going. 49:14.580 --> 49:40.580 Well, am I? 49:40.580 --> 49:47.580 Anything else, miss? 49:47.580 --> 49:49.580 I've been looking everywhere for you, Bill. 49:49.580 --> 49:50.580 Yeah? 49:54.580 --> 49:56.580 When are you leaving? 49:56.580 --> 49:57.580 Tomorrow morning. 50:00.580 --> 50:03.580 I think I could have lied to him if you hadn't been there. 50:04.580 --> 50:05.580 Yeah, I know. 50:06.580 --> 50:08.580 Makes me out pretty awful, doesn't it? 50:08.580 --> 50:11.580 No, just stupid. 50:12.580 --> 50:15.580 Oh, now you're going to make a big thing out of it. 50:16.580 --> 50:18.580 For a while, till you're good. 50:21.580 --> 50:22.580 What time tomorrow? 50:23.580 --> 50:24.580 Early. 50:26.580 --> 50:30.580 Bill, do you think we can make another reservation? 50:33.580 --> 50:35.580 You sure about the career? 50:35.580 --> 50:38.580 What career? 50:39.580 --> 50:41.580 Oh, that's the funniest thing ever! 50:41.580 --> 50:42.580 Oh, sure! 50:42.580 --> 50:43.580 I'll have some coffee! 50:43.580 --> 50:44.580 Hey, Doc! 50:44.580 --> 50:45.580 How about a cup of coffee? 50:45.580 --> 50:46.580 Sure! 50:46.580 --> 50:47.580 I'll have a cup of coffee! 50:59.580 --> 51:01.580 What's wrong, Muttonhead? 51:01.580 --> 51:06.580 When you get that hangover look, somebody's into trouble, I ought to know. 51:08.580 --> 51:11.580 Still thinking about that insurance peddler, Bill, huh? 51:11.580 --> 51:12.580 Mm-hmm. 51:12.580 --> 51:14.580 Did I ever tell you I was sorry about that? 51:14.580 --> 51:15.580 Were you? 51:15.580 --> 51:16.580 No. 51:18.580 --> 51:19.580 What is it, Muttonhead? 51:19.580 --> 51:22.580 Such honesty, something must be wrong. 51:23.580 --> 51:25.580 I want to ask you a question. 51:26.580 --> 51:28.580 Do you think I'm good looking? 51:28.580 --> 51:30.580 Well, you're not Clark Gable. 51:30.580 --> 51:32.580 Then you're not a monster, either. 51:32.580 --> 51:34.580 One minute, Giles, one minute. 51:34.580 --> 51:35.580 Look, I'm going on. 51:35.580 --> 51:36.580 You know how upset I get. 51:36.580 --> 51:37.580 Tell me. 51:37.580 --> 51:38.580 What more do you want? 51:38.580 --> 51:39.580 I said you weren't a monster. 51:40.580 --> 51:42.580 And you've got lots of other stuff, too. 51:44.580 --> 51:45.580 Me like charm? 51:45.580 --> 51:46.580 Oh, you're loaded with it. 51:47.580 --> 51:48.580 Funny charm, huh? 51:48.580 --> 51:49.580 And personality. 51:50.580 --> 51:51.580 There's nothing without personality. 51:51.580 --> 51:53.580 Look, Muttonhead, what do you want? 51:53.580 --> 51:54.580 The big build-up? 51:55.580 --> 51:56.580 OK, I'll give it to you. 51:57.580 --> 51:58.580 But remember, I... 51:58.580 --> 51:59.580 I mean this. 52:01.580 --> 52:02.580 I think you're the greatest. 52:03.580 --> 52:05.580 I think you're the funniest comic, 52:05.580 --> 52:07.580 and the screwiest screwball, 52:08.580 --> 52:10.580 and the lousiest louse. 52:12.580 --> 52:14.580 Of course, that's only one girl's opinion, 52:14.580 --> 52:16.580 so take it for what it's worth. 52:17.580 --> 52:18.580 What an opinion. 52:19.580 --> 52:24.580 Flo, you have just proved yourself to be a girl of taste and discrimination. 52:25.580 --> 52:26.580 Hey, I'm on. 52:26.580 --> 52:28.580 I love you. 52:56.580 --> 53:02.580 THE END 53:26.580 --> 53:29.580 THE END 53:56.580 --> 53:59.580 THE END 54:26.580 --> 54:29.580 THE END 54:37.580 --> 54:38.580 Hey, did you hear that applause? 54:38.580 --> 54:39.580 That was terrific. 54:39.580 --> 54:42.580 Oh, you big love, why don't you wait and let me tell you you're terrific. 54:43.580 --> 54:44.580 Oh, yeah. 54:46.580 --> 54:47.580 Tell Tommy I didn't change. 54:47.580 --> 54:48.580 I'd never be happy. 54:49.580 --> 54:50.580 So, OK, you tell him. 54:51.580 --> 54:52.580 You tell me how terrific I was. 54:52.580 --> 54:57.580 Mr. Giles, you were absolutely and positively terrific. 55:05.580 --> 55:06.580 Who's that? 55:06.580 --> 55:21.580 Caswell. 55:21.580 --> 55:24.580 THE END 55:33.580 --> 55:37.580 Now Betty Finesse wants to show you the suitcase that never left home. 55:38.580 --> 55:39.580 No wonder. 55:39.580 --> 55:43.580 It's so moldy and warped, and look, even the hinges are rusted. 55:43.580 --> 55:46.580 Well, that's what happens when things are exposed to dampness. 55:46.580 --> 55:50.580 But you can protect anything against the costly threat of dampness 55:50.580 --> 55:53.580 with this amazing new Westinghouse dehumidifier. 55:53.580 --> 55:57.580 Use it in the basement, workshop, storage room, laundry. 55:57.580 --> 56:00.580 It takes that harmful moisture right out of the air. 56:03.580 --> 56:04.580 That's right. 56:04.580 --> 56:10.580 The humid moist air goes in here, and then it comes out from the back here dry. 56:10.580 --> 56:12.580 And what happens to the moisture? 56:12.580 --> 56:16.580 Well, it condenses into water and drops into this container here. 56:16.580 --> 56:24.580 And the Westinghouse dehumidifier can actually take three gallons of water out of the air in 24 hours. 56:24.580 --> 56:28.580 And because it's portable and plugs in anywhere, 56:28.580 --> 56:33.580 that means that you can use it to remove the dampness from any part of your house. 56:33.580 --> 56:37.580 And your Westinghouse dealer will gladly put one in your house for a free demonstration. 56:37.580 --> 56:41.580 It's only $139.95, so call him tomorrow. 56:41.580 --> 56:46.580 And remember, you can be sure if it's Westinghouse. 56:51.580 --> 56:55.580 Be sure to watch the new daytime TV shows, Meet Buddy Furness and Freedom Rings, 56:55.580 --> 56:57.580 on most of these stations each week. 57:01.580 --> 57:07.580 Next week, another new play written especially for Studio One by Stanley Niss. 57:07.580 --> 57:12.580 A melodrama as exciting as the talents of its stars. 57:12.580 --> 57:14.580 We hope you'll be with us. 57:14.580 --> 57:24.580 Jackie Gleason appears tonight through the courtesy of the makers of Nescafé and the Schick Electric Shaver. 58:15.580 --> 58:21.580 Tonight's production of Westinghouse Studio One will be seen by America's Armed Forces overseas. 58:21.580 --> 58:24.580 This is Paul Brinson saying goodnight for Westinghouse, 58:24.580 --> 58:27.580 who have made more than 40 million products for the American home. 58:27.580 --> 58:29.580 Hope you will be with us again next week. 58:29.580 --> 58:31.580 Until then, goodnight. 58:32.580 --> 58:35.580 Dresses by Hannah Troy and Will Steinmark. 58:39.580 --> 58:42.580 Portions of tonight's program were a Mechanic's Choice. 58:42.580 --> 58:45.580 Portions of tonight's program were mechanically reproduced. 58:59.580 --> 59:04.580 Cool off your home with this amazing new Westinghouse Riviera Fan. 59:04.580 --> 59:07.580 Put it in the window held by its own cable. 59:07.580 --> 59:09.580 It drives hot air out. 59:09.580 --> 59:12.580 Turn it around to pull the cool air in. 59:12.580 --> 59:18.580 See this wonderful four-way fan, the Riviera, at your Westinghouse dealers. 59:25.580 --> 59:26.580 Twice a week in... 59:26.580 --> 59:40.580 This is the CBS Television Network.