The Lucy Bill Starring Lucille Ball
sorry
alberic
this
the
Hearing.
a fast
I'm so sorry but I was in such a hurry to tell you the good news boy are you gonna
be surprised about what I won first place in a dog food contest that doesn't surprise
me I've tasted your cooking I didn't make the dog food I just entered the contest and I
won a trip to London look here's my ticket my plane leaves Monday morning well what makes
you think you can take off from work just like that oh well I have some days coming
to me I've been saving up my sick leave your sick leave yes yes sir and oh you don't know
what I've gone through to save up those few measly days oh some days I have been so miserable
oh well I never realized you were so dedicated oh yes you know one day I came to work in
such pain that I had to ask the bank guard to give me a bullet to bite on why you poor
thing however mrs. Carmichael it is impossible for you to leave at this time why because
I have to go east next week on business and I want someone to be here in this office but
mr. Mooney last year we both took our vacations at the same time nobody even missed us exactly
and I never want that to happen again mr. Mooney that's a thanks I get for all the hard
work I've done all the long hours of concentration I put in on what I'm my dog food jingle
yeah the one that I won the prize with I feed my doggy arc arc I buy it by the bunch I know
it's tasty dog food I eat it myself for lunch you wrote that yes I did oh you do need sick
leave oh go go go mr. Mooney thank you thank you oh I'm going to London I'm going to London
I'm going to tell the girl and they think they'll always be in England
Oh Jane I'm so excited there it is there it is British Imperial Airways you know what
it said on the ticket from the moment you step up to the counter you feel a bit of Britain
I didn't exciting but you better hurry you have to check your ticket OK.
Oh dear.
Sir Sir excuse me I'm on my way to London and I had my ticket and I left it in
my bag I put my bag down there and it went that way and I don't know how to get it back.
Oh really well you know the only way you can get it back is to get on the rail and get on the train.
And also you can get a free bottle of whiskey.
Which you do really well.
What?
The only possible way you can get it back is to get on the rail and get on the train.
And also you can get a free bottle of whiskey.
The only possible thing you can do really.
Did you understand what he said?
No.
Excuse me sir perhaps your friend could help me?
Oh secret corporal of the disembaricals you know.
Right I'll get him.
As I understand it you were in a bit of a tizwaz because you went and lost your bloom and dew darlady.
Yes yes I lost my bloom and dew darlady and I want to know how to get it back.
But you need to get yourself an estate.
Well of course I'm in an estate my plane is ready to take off and my tickets are in my bag and my bag took off without me and I don't know how to get it.
Perhaps I can be of some help ladies.
Oh I hope so I sure would appreciate it.
If you don't mind sir but this man was trying to tell you that the baggage room is in the basement.
In the basement oh thank.
Basement I don't know if I have time to get to the basement my plane is taking off to London flight 19.
How soon does flight 19 leave?
It just left.
Just left?
Oh no.
Oh I knew this was too good to be true.
Honey I told you to get an earlier start.
Don't get so upset now.
Look there's a plane leaving for New York in a few minutes.
I'm not going to New York I'm going to London.
I know if you take the plane from here to New York there they can get your connections on to London.
Oh can they do that?
For sure.
Oh thank you.
Now remember to take your tickets to the main ticket counter.
Oh yes sir yes sir oh my tickets I got to get my tickets yeah I got to get my tickets.
Chelsea what are you doing?
I'm going to get me floor in a dildo lady.
You are seat 10C.
Oh thank you thank you very much.
Would you like me to take that for you?
Oh yes yes yes thank you.
Oh miss I keep forgetting about the difference in time.
Do I set my watch ahead or back?
It's three hours later in New York.
Oh well I'm not just going to New York I'm going all the way to London.
London England and Europe.
How very nice.
The time difference is eight hours between here and London.
London England.
In Europe.
Oh I'm terribly sorry.
Sir I wonder if you would do me a favor.
Yes what is it?
You see my girlfriend is here to see me off and I promised to wave to her but I don't think she can see me.
Would you wave to Mary Jane?
She's the one in the green suit right by the gate.
Just give her a little wave.
Oh thank you very much.
Oh look she's waving back to us and she's throwing me a kiss.
She's the very best girlfriend I've got.
Would you mind throwing her a kiss?
Oh thank you.
Oh excuse me.
Oh I would love to get a shot of her just waving to me.
Would you just draw back a little bit?
Maybe you better take it.
Maybe you better just press this little thing right here.
Yes now look get her attention.
Wave to her.
Give her a little.
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate that.
She really is my very best girlfriend.
Thank you I'm terribly sorry.
I'm sitting on the wrong side of the plane to wave goodbye to her.
May I take your coat?
Oh yes.
Yes I guess so.
Thank you.
Is there anything else I can do for you?
No I don't think so.
Later I may have some coffee, tea or milk.
Mr. Mooney.
Mrs. Carmichael.
What are you doing here?
Well I don't blame you for being surprised.
I missed my plane.
That doesn't surprise me.
Well I'm going to New York on this plane and then I get my plane for London from there.
Oh I see.
I see.
My it's a small world isn't it?
Yes.
And with you in it no wonder they're racing for the moon.
Mr. Mooney.
You know you ought to be glad that I'm sitting here with you instead of some stranger.
After all it's a long trip and you have someone nice to talk to.
Mrs. Carmichael when I arrive in New York I'm going directly to an important meeting.
That's why I'm studying these documents.
And I don't want to be disturbed.
Oh yes.
With the wonderful age we live in, breakfast in Los Angeles, lunch in New York, dinner in London.
Isn't that exciting?
Frankly my business takes me on so many transcontinental overseas trips that it isn't very exciting for me.
I get pretty sick of flying.
Oh really?
Well actually I get a little bored now and then too.
Yeah.
Can I have a seat please?
Well I guess we're going to take off huh?
You better fasten your seat belt.
I'd be happy to if you'd give me the other half of my belt.
Oh you have...
Yeah, yeah.
Oh you have two buckles.
Oh for heaven's sake.
You have part of mine.
I don't know why they don't have them right in the first place.
Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please.
Since the take off portion of our flight will be over water,
I'd like to demonstrate how to put on the life jackets which you'll find under your seat.
Sir, she wants you to pay attention.
I've seen this a hundred times.
Oh, oh yeah, it's a real drag isn't it?
The chances of your having to use the life jackets are very remote, but regulations require this demonstration.
After the jacket is securely tied, it is inflated by pulling this cord.
Jackets should be inflated only after leaving the plane.
Thank you very much.
Would you care for some gum?
Oh, thank you.
No thank you.
It's for your ears.
For my ears?
Oh, of course, I forgot.
Does gum really help?
Oh yes, chewing the gum does seem to help relieve the pressure during the take off.
Thank you.
I get so used to wearing them I forget I have them on.
Oh, I'm glad you're through with your work, Mr. Mooney.
I was feeling kind of lonesome.
Now, Michael, I'm going to listen to some nice quiet music and try to get some rest.
Oh, is that what those are?
What are you doing?
I was just trying to turn up the volume.
Well, turn up your own volume.
I don't actually like to hear yours now.
But, Miss Tyler, all I want is a little rest.
I'm so in the trash at that meeting.
Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.
I certainly hope they serve lunch soon. I didn't have any breakfast.
Miss.
You have to press the button on the arm at the same time.
Oh, of course. I forget. All planes are different.
I found it. I have it now. Yes.
What's the matter? Did you have a bad dream?
No, I didn't have a bad dream.
Miss, your button is on this arm.
Oh. Oh. Oh, yes. Thank you.
Oh.
Would you care for some champagne?
Champagne? Oh, thank you.
Would you care for some?
Thank you.
My. This is delicious. Happy landing.
To Bon Voyage.
Oh, the boniest.
What was that?
Just a little turbulence.
A little turbulence?
Oh, I hope they don't have too much of that up here.
Oh, my. Was that some more turbulence?
Getting a little rough.
It certainly is.
More champagne?
Why not?
Boy, it's getting hot in here.
I certainly hope they serve lunch pretty soon.
You know, it's nearly midnight in London, England, in Europe.
You know something?
What?
You're awfully nice.
Thank you.
I think I'm going to tell you a little secret.
Secret?
I've never flown before.
You're kidding.
You couldn't tell, could you?
I would have sworn you were Peter Pan.
Boy, I hope they serve lunch pretty soon.
I certainly didn't mention this turbulence in my travel folder.
I think we're heading into a little storm.
Really?
Oh, my God.
What are you doing with your life jacket on?
Life jacket?
What's going on?
Well, the plane was ditching.
The plane's ditching?
Now, what's going on here?
Well, he said the plane was ditching.
Now, look, sir, you've caused nothing but trouble since you came aboard.
Fall out of your seat, you wrecked the luggage rack, and now you've got the whole plane in an uproar.
Now, everybody just be calm.
Everything's going to be all right.
Now, take your seats.
Sit down, sir.
Everything's going to be just fine.
Oh, my God.