Come in, Mother.
Yes, it's the Aldrich family, based on characters originated by Clipper Goldsmith, and starring
Ezra Stone as Henry with Jackie Kelkis Holmes.
And yes, it's the Jell-O family, with its three famous desserts.
Jell-O in those six delicious flavors, regular Jell-O puddings with that old fashioned homemade
flavor, and Jell-O tapioca puddings.
A miracle of goodness, a marvel of speed.
Everyone's a Jell-O good fellow, a very good Jell-O good fellow, so rich, so tempting, and
mellow.
J-E-L-L-O.
And now for the Aldrich family.
117 Elm Street, Centerville is your own house, or the house on the next block, or that house
right around the corner in your memories.
And the important person in and out of it is always a typical teenage boy like Henry
Aldrich.
The scene opens at the Aldrich breakfast table.
It is Saturday morning.
Alice, do we have to?
Now, Sam.
It started out to be such a nice day.
The air is brisk, the sun is shining.
Why ruin it by discussing Henry's report card?
But dear, have you seen it?
I signed it.
But have you seen it?
You don't think I signed Henry's report card with my eyes closed, do you?
Yes.
I'm sure.
If you'd looked at it, you'd certainly be more upset.
And I'm sure we ought to have his basal metabolism taken.
As what?
His basal metabolism, Sam.
It's at the bottom of a lot of things these days.
Not report cards.
Alice, there's nothing wrong with Henry that some hard work won't cure.
He just got to learn to stop procrastinating and buckle down.
That's right, dear, and I think you should speak to him about it.
Yes, Alice, I will.
Tomorrow.
Why can't you do it today?
Alice, the sun is shining.
The air is brisk and it's Saturday, Henry's day of rest.
Sam Aldridge, if you ask me, you could do with a little buckling down yourself.
Henry?
Yes, Mother?
Come in here, please.
Alice.
And dear, if he has any homework, I think he should do it right now.
You were calling my mother.
Yes, dear, your father has something to say to you.
He has?
Oh, boy.
I'll answer the phone.
Yes, Father?
Henry, Henry, what I want to say is...
Yes, sir?
What I want to say...
Father, if it's going out of your head, I don't mind dropping the whole thing until
it comes back.
I haven't forgotten, Henry.
Sit down.
Sit down?
But Father...
Henry!
Yes, Father, I'm sat.
I mean, sit.
They're seated.
Henry, your mother and I have just been discussing your report card.
You have?
On a nice day like this?
I had the same reaction.
Henry, don't you think it's about time you buckled down and started to worry about your
schoolwork?
Gee, I do worry about it, Father.
You do?
By giving my word, there's nothing I worry about more.
I'm glad to hear that.
But I'd be glad to do a little extra worrying if it would ease your mind.
That's very cooperative of you, Henry, but there's one method we ought to try first.
There is?
What?
Work.
Work?
Yes.
Father, when you say work, how do you mean that?
Just the way it sounds.
Good, hard, industrious effort.
Oh.
I want you to buckle down and really put your mind to your studies.
Yes, sir.
Now, what homework do you have this weekend?
This weekend?
Gee, that's a wonderful part, Father.
I practically don't have any at all.
None at all?
Well, just a few simple geometry problems.
And gee whiz, I can knock those off in five minutes.
Good.
Suppose you take five minutes right now and start knocking.
What?
But Father, when I said five minutes, I was thinking of five minutes Monday morning when
my brain will have a whole weekend's rest.
Henry, your mother and I have taken all the procrastinating we're going through.
You're not to leave the house until your geometry is done.
But Father.
Is that clear?
Yes, sir.
Sam, could I speak to you out here in the hall?
Yes, Alice.
Now get to work, Henry.
Yes, Father.
But I'm really much better at homework on Monday morning.
Sam, you didn't tell him to do his homework now, did you?
Yes, why?
That was Homer on the phone, and I'm afraid we've made a terrible mistake.
In what way?
He's on his way over here.
Alice, I'm afraid that's a mistake we can no longer avoid.
Dear, you don't understand.
We didn't realize that the boys have a date to go ice skating with Kathleen and Agnes.
So wouldn't it be just as well if he did his homework Sunday evening?
Alice, after I ordered him to do it now.
But Sam, this is Saturday, his day of rest.
Suppose I do this, Alice.
Suppose I help him.
You will?
Well, that might help.
But nevertheless, dear, I'm certainly going to write a note to Mr. Bradley.
And Miss Principal, why?
Sam may have no right to ruin a boy's entire weekend this way, especially on the last good
ice skating day of the year.
Will you answer that, dear?
I'm on the stove.
Hello.
Hello, Sam.
This is Will Brown.
Yes, Will.
Sam, I just looked out doors, and it's a wonderful day.
Yes, isn't it?
The sun is shining.
There's a little bit of a breeze.
And I thought, why stay cooped up in the house?
Why not call good old Sam and spend the afternoon bowling?
Bowling?
Why not?
You mean why be cooped up in the house when you can be cooped up in the bowling alley?
But Sam, I have to get out of the house.
Elizabeth's trying to get me to shellac the dining room floor.
Shellac it?
Sure.
That's her favorite indoor sport, trying to get me to shellac.
So what do you say?
Aren't you in the mood to bowl, Sam?
Oh, I'm in the mood all right.
Good, then suppose you pick me up right away.
Well, I'll tell you, there's a little matter I have to clean up first.
Oh, you mean Alice has stuck you with some job.
No, no, no.
It's just, just, Will, it's nothing I can't finish in five minutes.
Okay, I'll be waiting for you.
So long, Sam.
Goodbye, Will.
Henry!
I'm in the dining room, Father, buckling down on my homework.
Good.
Gee, Father, Mother told me about your helping me, and boy, I certainly appreciate it.
That's quite all right.
Now let's get started.
Thanks, Henry.
Gee, sounds like Homer.
Doesn't sound like anyone else.
Hi, Hen.
Hi, Mr. Aldrich.
Boy, what a day, what a day.
Homer.
Is that an apple in that tooth bowl?
Homer, don't bite it.
It's wax.
It is?
Boy, what a day.
Come on, Henry, let's go.
Let's go.
Sure, are we meeting the girls at twelve?
Well, first, Homer, there's a little matter my father and I have to get out of the way.
What little matter?
My geometry homework.
You're going to do that now?
What'll you do Monday during lunch?
Homer, the fewer interruptions we have, the quicker we'll finish, so would you please
sit quietly in the corner?
Yes, sir.
Now, Henry.
Henry, did I tell you about that trick Agnes and I worked out?
Homer, if the...
We were skating along gracefully, see, and then all of a sudden she grabs me by the wrist
and throws me over her shoulder.
Homer, I...
And when I come down there, she is to grab me again.
Homer!
Yes, Mr. Aldrich.
I'll shut up.
Good.
Now...
Is that banana wax, too?
It is.
Oh, the pear, too?
Homer, I'm sure Mrs. Aldrich must have something edible in the kitchen.
Yes, sir.
You don't mind my leaving?
Not a bit.
You won't be long, will you, Henry?
No, gee, if we buckle down, we'll be through in no time.
Henry, how many problems have you done so far?
I've had enough of this.
I'm tired of it.
If we buckle down, we'll be through in no time.
Henry, how many problems have you done so far?
How many?
Well, there's one in particular I'm sort of stuck on.
Which one?
The first.
I see.
Well, let's get to work on it.
Yes, sir.
Just as soon as I get this lampshade fixed.
What's wrong with it?
Well, gee, did you ever notice how it tilts?
Boy, you can hardly concentrate.
Excuse me.
Where are you going?
To get a pair of pliers so we can work with a free mind.
Henry, sit down.
Yes.
You'll never get anywhere if you keep on procrastinating.
Yes.
Now, what's the problem you're stuck on?
Farmer Gray has a field that is 900 feet on one side, 800 feet on the parallel side, and
the remaining sides are 100 feet each.
If the field is in the shape of a trapezoid, what is the area?
Henry, that can't be right.
But I copied it right off the blackboard, Father.
The field is in the shape of a what?
Trapezoid.
Oh.
Oh, trapezoid.
Well, that shouldn't be hard.
Do you have your pencil, Henry?
Yes, sir.
And your ruler and your paper?
Yes, sir.
All right, then, Henry.
Now, first tell me, what is a trapezoid?
What is it?
Well, Henry, you can't expect to find the area unless you know what it is.
But, Father, that's the whole thing.
I don't even remember Miss Bennett ever even mentioning trapezoids.
Hey, Tim, do either of you have a nutcracker on you?
A nutcracker?
All your mother had to eat that wasn't in a can were these walnuts.
Homer, you'll find my hammer in the basement.
Yes, sir.
Henry, do you think you'll be through by the time I'm wall-cracked?
Homer, just run along.
Yes, Mr. Aldrich, I'll leave you alone.
Let's hurry, Henry.
Suppose you look up trapezoids.
Where's your math book?
Why, in my lunchbox.
You're having it for lunch.
No, sir, I put it in there so I'd be sure not to forget to bring the book home from school.
Well, please get it.
Well, that's just it.
I forgot my lunchbox.
You don't have a book at all?
No, sir.
So couldn't you just tell me what a trapezoid is?
A trapezoid, of course.
Now, as I remember it, a trapezoid is a sort of...
Yes, Father?
Henry, you'll never learn by my telling you.
The thing for you to do is look it up.
But where, Father?
Doesn't Homer have a geometry book?
Sure, but it's probably in his house.
Well, ask him to get it.
But, Father...
Please hurry, Henry.
A certain gentleman is waiting for me on a very urgent matter.
Hello?
Elizabeth, this is Alice.
Oh, hello, Alice.
Elizabeth, I'm writing a letter to Mr. Bradley, and I wondered if you'd be interested in signing it, too.
What sort of a letter, Alice?
About the amount of homework they give the boys.
I say, dear Mr. Bradley, as one of your mothers, I'm deeply concerned about my son's weekends.
Henry has homework over the weekends?
Yes.
Well, isn't Homer lucky? He never has any.
But aren't he and Henry in the same class?
That's true, they are. He must have homework.
I should think so.
You know what Homer's trouble is? He takes after Will, always putting things off.
He does?
Alice, I'd hate to tell you how long I've been asking Will to shellack my dining room floor.
I asked him this morning, and he said he's going bowling with Sam.
Sam? Sam's going bowling?
Isn't he?
Well, right now, he's working on a trapezoid with Henry.
You don't say. Well...
Elizabeth!
Oh, my goodness, it's Will. I'd better hang up before he gets away.
All right, goodbye, Elizabeth.
Goodbye. Will, I'd like to speak to you.
Elizabeth, have you seen my bowling shoes?
Your bowling shoes? They're in my broom closet.
What are they doing there?
They're so comfortable to do housework in.
Elizabeth!
And anyway, Will Brown, you won't need them.
Why not?
If Sam Aldrich can fix Alice's trapezoid, you can shellack my floor.
Thanks, Sir Watt.
Oh, don't stand around asking questions. Suppose you start.
But, Elizabeth, it's too humid to shellack.
You used the same excuse in July.
But, Elizabeth...
Will Brown, how would you like to have sweetbreads for dinner every day from now on?
Sweetbreads? Elizabeth...
Well, you're going to get them if that floor isn't done today.
But Sam will be here any minute.
Mother!
Elizabeth!
Mother, have you seen my geometry book anywhere?
Where did you put it?
I don't remember. I always put things like that right out of my mind as soon as I get home on Friday.
Well, I haven't seen it. And Homer...
Oh, there it is on the hall table. Excuse me.
Wait a minute, Homer. Didn't you promise to help me shellack the dining room floor?
Sure. When the time came that you couldn't get out of it.
Well, the time has come. Forget the brushes and let's start.
But, Father...
Homer, start shellacking and shut up.
Henry, go back and look through that encyclopedia again.
Gee, Wisp, Father, I did. Four times. And I give you my word, trapezoid's nowhere in there.
Henry, it must be. Everything's in the encyclopedia.
But it isn't. It goes from trapeze to track shooting.
Oh, I know. Remember when little Cousin Bertram visited us last summer?
What about him?
Boy, if there was one thing he liked to do, it was cut pictures out of books.
You suppose he took trapezoids with him?
That's a fine thing. Let me at that quote.
Father, who are you calling?
Mr. Quarry, my accountant. Find out once and for all what a trapezoid is.
Number, please.
Uh, Elma... 494.
Do you think Mr. Quarry can help us?
If he can't, no one can. I've never seen anyone who could do the things with figures that he can.
Hello?
Oh, hello, Mr. Quarry. This is Mr. Aldrich.
Why, hello, Mr. Aldrich. I've been trying to get you all week.
Every time I call your office, you're in conference.
Yes, I hope.
We don't have too much time left to get your books in order.
Yes, I know. And I'm very anxious to have them out of the way, naturally.
You are? Good. Well, I'll be right over.
What?
All I have to do is get your books together and sharpen my pencil.
But, Mr. Quarry...
I don't usually work on Saturdays, but if we buckle down, we should be through in two or three hours.
Two or three?
Goodbye.
Mr. Quarry, come back. Mr. Quarry, I don't have time to.
Mr. Quarry, I'm in conference.
Homer, that's the oldest mistake in the world.
But, Father, I thought you were leaving room down at your end for us to get out.
You thought I was leaving?
Now we're stuck in the middle of the dining room floor, surrounded by wet shellac.
Elizabeth!
Well, do you have to shout all...
Well, wouldn't you know it.
Elizabeth, let's be constructive. Get us out of here.
Dear, I'm afraid you'll have to stay there until the shellac dries.
Why?
What?
And while you're there, Homer, here, catch.
Oops!
If Henry can do his homework, you can do yours.
But, Elizabeth, what about me?
You can help Homer.
Help Homer?
Father, gee whiz, Mother, have a heart.
Do you see it, Henry?
Could you boost me higher, Father?
There. Is it on that top shelf?
No, Father.
Well, that's a fine thing.
I was positive I saw it out here in the garage.
Gee whiz, Father, what good is a mechanic's handbook at a time like this?
It might cover trapezoids.
But, Father, do you realize it's past 12?
I realize it, Henry. I realize it very well.
And we're not going to waste any more time.
What's the name of your math teacher?
Miss Bennet, why?
We're going straight over to her house and ask for help.
Miss Bennet, do you think that's why?
Why?
I mean, asking her to see me on a weekend, considering what she goes through all week.
Henry, come along.
Dad!
Back in the garage, Henry. Quick!
Mr. Aldrich!
Father, what's wrong?
Sam, are you out there in the back?
If he gets his hands on me, I'll be trapped for the rest of the day.
Henry, get behind the car.
Sam!
Mr. Aldrich!
Henry, keep down.
Sam!
I'm afraid he isn't out here, Mr. Cleary.
That's strange. He told me he was very anxious to get those books audited.
Mr. Cleary, you don't submit posy events for you to meet him at his office, do you?
You think so?
Perhaps you ought to drive down there.
Perhaps I'd better. Let me close those garage doors for you.
Mr. Cleary, you didn't snap the padlock, did you?
Yes. Why?
Well, it's just that the lock's gotten terribly rusty and Mr. Aldrich keeps putting off oiling it.
One of these days, we're not going to be able to get it open at all.
Hello.
Elizabeth, this is Alice. Is Will there?
Why, yes, Alice. Only...
Could you send him over to our house right away?
But he's still in the middle of his shellac.
What?
Alice, what's wrong?
Our car seems to have a short circuit in the horn. It just keeps blowing and blowing.
Oh, my.
And it's locked in the garage and Sam's disappeared.
Alice, Gus is here. Now I'll send him over.
Would you? Thank you, Elizabeth. Goodbye.
Goodbye. Gus? Oh, Gus.
Yeah?
Could you go over to the Aldrich's? Their car horn is stuck and the garage door is locked.
Oh, sure thing.
Goodbye, Gus.
Mother!
Homer, how did you get out of the dining room?
Mother, never mind me. It's father.
What happened?
We were standing there in the middle of the room, see, and father said he couldn't stand being cooked up with me in Capozoid's boat, so he did it.
Did what?
He tried to jump from the middle of the dining room to the living room doorway.
Oh, dear.
And you know what happened?
Of course, he didn't make it.
Mother, that isn't important. He was carrying his pot of shellac when he jumped.
Henry, do you see Miss Bennet anywhere on the ice?
Not yet, father, but I'm keeping my eyes open. Are you still upset?
Henry, I'd rather not discuss it.
Yes, sir.
But you'd think Gus could have gotten us out of the garage without breaking down the door with an axe.
Henry, what does Miss Bennet look like?
Gee, you can't miss her. She's sort of... well, gee, she's very healthy.
Healthy? How?
Well, in a big way.
I see.
Henry, open!
Oh, boy, Kathleen.
So you finally showed up. Realized it's nearly three o'clock?
Kathleen, let me explain.
That's not necessary, and it might interest you to know that Agnes and I had a wonderful time skating with Charlie Claus.
Charlie?
Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going over to see if Charlie's resting comfortably.
Something happened to him?
Agnes threw him over his shoulder. I bet she wasn't there when he came down.
Kathleen, listen.
Goodbye, Henry.
But Kathleen!
Never mind, Kathleen. Henry, look over there. Is that Miss Bennet?
Where?
Well, gee whiz. Father, do you think a math teacher should go around in public doing figure eights?
Is that what she's doing?
She's trying to. Miss Bennet? Oh, Miss Bennet!
Miss Bennet!
Oh, Dad!
I'm Miss Bennet, Henry Aldridge. Could I please speak to you?
Oh, stop me, Henry! Stop me!
Father, quit!
I thought you...
Oh, my!
That is very...
Thank you very much. Isn't this fun?
Miss Bennet?
Henry, don't let go of my elbow! I'm not too steady!
Miss Bennet, I'm Henry's father.
Oh, how do you do, Mr Aldridge? Would you believe it? I haven't been on skates in ten years.
You haven't?
Miss Bennet, we have a problem.
Yes.
That is, Henry has a problem. That is, well, I know it isn't ethical, but we're sort of stuck on that trapezoid.
Trapezoid? What trapezoid?
The one that's our homework for Monday.
Henry, did I give a problem about trapezoids?
You did. Sure, you wrote it on the blackboard.
I did. I haven't taken up trapezoids with the class yet.
What?
She hasn't taken it up. Oh, boy!
I meant to get into them this past week, but somehow I just put it off and put it off.
Miss Bennet, do you mean to say...
Do you mean to say...
Mr Aldridge, you're letting go of my arm!
Father! Miss Bennet!
Sam?
Yes, Alice?
Are you all right on the couch?
I'm fine.
Is that easy chair comfortable, Henry?
Yes, Mother.
Would either of you like another blanket?
No, thank you.
No, thanks, Mother.
Well, I just want you both to know I think it was a very brave thing to do.
Brave?
Yes, pulling Miss Bennet out of the water like that.
We didn't do it to be brave.
Miss Bennet was holding on to us for dear life. We rescued her in self-defense.
Dear, I know better.
Father, are you really going to take me out of school if Miss Bennet stays at Central High?
I haven't decided.
Sam, don't you think you ought to cool off first?
Alice, I'm as cooled off as I'll ever be.
Incidentally, Sam, did you find out what a trapezoid is?
Yes, Alice, a trapezoid is a...
A trapezoid...
Well, Alice, do you see that lamp shade over the dining room table?
The one that sort of tilts?
Yes, that's a perfect example of a trapezoid.
You know, Father, it just occurred to me. It's been hanging over our heads all day.
Hey, Henry.
In here, Homer. I'll get the phone.
I can't, old timer. Here's my geometry book.
Boy, Homer, you sure took your time.
I couldn't help it. My father and I just got through cleaning off the walls.
The walls?
Boy, you should have seen the way his can splashed when it landed.
Hey, Homer.
Homer, what's this all over your book?
Shalack.
What?
If you think that's in bad shape, you ought to see my father.
My mother says it's the first time in his life he's got his hair to stay down.
Sam, that was Mr. Cleary on the phone.
Cleary?
Yes, he called to say you weren't at the office, either.
Alice, what did you tell him?
I told him you were flat on your back.
Good.
So he said not to let you up. He'd be right over with the book.
What?
Alice!
Here's hoping you'll be in your living room in hours next week at the same time.
Good night, folks.
The Aldrich Family, starring Ezra Stone as Henry with Jackie Kelkis Homer,
is written by Norman Tilcar and Ed Juris with music by Jack Miller.
Mr. and Mrs. Aldrich are House Jamison and Catherine Roth.