And now for the Aldrich family. Grown-ups ought to go back now and then to a time when the world was younger.
The first person they'll meet on a trip back to their youth will always be a typical teenage boy like Henry Aldrich.
The scene opens in the Aldrich front hall. It's just before noon.
Homer. Why Henry? Homer, has Atna said anything to you about coming up to visit her at Lake Wichita McClatchy this summer?
Why, not yet. Exactly.
Oh.
Has Kathleen?
Well, she hasn't said that in so many words.
No.
What has she said?
Nothing.
Oh. I guess it just slipped her mind.
Yeah. I guess it did the same thing with Agnes.
Yeah.
Yeah. Agnes is bound to invite me sooner or later, though, don't you think?
Sure, Homer, sure.
I mean, when you consider what we've been through each other, if it hadn't been for me, what would she have done with her money all year?
It's just a matter of time, Homer.
Sure.
The only thing is, Kathleen and Agnes are leaving tomorrow morning.
I know, Henry. I know.
Homer.
Suppose they find two other guys up at the lake that are more interesting than we are.
You think that's possible, Henry?
More incredible things have happened, Homer.
Henry, we've just got to get ourselves invited up there for a couple of weeks to protect our entrance.
Maybe we ought to go over right now and drop a few hints, you know, casually.
I already did that. Just last night I happened to mention to Agnes how terrible I'd feel not seeing her all summer.
And you know what she said? She said it made her feel wonderful.
What?
That I'd miss her like that.
Oh.
She said the thought of my being miserable would keep her happy all summer long.
I guess she didn't catch on.
I guess not.
Henry, there's just one thing to do.
What's that?
Ask the girls right out if they wouldn't like to invite us up for a couple of weeks.
Ask them? Right to their face?
Sure.
And have them think we're anxious?
Well, we are.
Well, sure we are, Homer, but deez, don't you think we ought to at least warm them up first?
Deez, we've been warming them up all winter long.
Homer, you're right. Hand me the phone.
Here.
Elm 344.
Listen, Henry, when Kathleen gets her little la-dee-dah room.
Don't what around?
La-dee-dah, la-dee-dah. Ask her right out.
Don't worry, Homer, I'll put my cards right on the table.
Hello?
Hello, Kathleen. This is Henry.
Oh, hello.
Hello. Kathleen, do you mind if I ask you a direct question?
A direct question?
That's the way, Henry.
My goodness, Henry, what direct question?
Well, Kathleen.
Yeah?
Kathleen.
Yeah?
Kathleen, did you know July has 31 days?
Huh?
What?
And then there's August and September.
Can you stop la-dee-dahing?
Gee whiz, that's a long time.
Let me have the phone.
Hi, Kathleen.
Is that Homer? Wait a minute, here's Agnes.
I'll show you how to ask a direct question, Henry.
Hi, Homer, how's it going?
Look, Agnes, I have a direct question for you.
Okay, do.
Agnes, have you ever noticed how hot it gets here in the summer?
Sure.
Boy, you could fry eggs on the sidewalk.
I don't like fried eggs.
Neither do I. But if you did, you could.
Boy, sure, I'm lucky I'll be able to like winter macrame in the summer.
I know, but how about me?
You? I'll tell you what I'll do, Homer.
What?
When I get up to the lake, I'll send you in a straw hat.
Why?
So you don't get sun-stoked.
But Agnes...
I'm home, I've got to hang up now. I'll see you tonight.
But Agnes...
Gee whiz.
Well?
Henry, let's stop ladi-dahing around and think of what we can do now.
Boy, Henry, a farewell party, that's a perfect idea.
You think so, Homer? You really think that'll impress the girls?
I'll say. I've got it all figured out.
We'll be charming, see?
Charming?
All evening long. Then when we've got them all charmed, we'll lead up to inviting us to the lake.
Sure.
What are you doing to that lamp, Homer?
We're unscrewing the bow.
What for?
Henry, I'm just trying to make this party as cheap as possible for your parents.
Homer, that isn't necessary. Besides, we'll want to dance.
We will?
Sure.
Well, there'll still be plenty of light.
How?
From the dial of the radio.
Homer. Besides, what gave you the idea the party's going to be here at my house?
Where then?
Well, your house is very homing.
Mine? Henry, I don't think so. My mother's against parties.
She is?
Especially if I'm invited.
Look, suppose we do this. If I go in and ask my mother, would you be willing to phone yours?
Well, I'll phone her, but I don't hold out too much hope.
Mother? Mother, are you in the kitchen?
Yes, Henry. And try not to get in my way, dear. Your father's coming home for lunch.
Sure, Mother.
Mother, if you were a girl, how would you feel about a farewell party?
If I were a girl, I'd like it very much.
You would? You think Kathleen will be impressed? You having a party for her?
Just a quiet little get-together with Homer and Agnes.
That sounds very nice. You think so?
Well, Mother, don't you think I ought to have it in a place where I'll feel right at home?
Henry, we're not having another party here.
Well, Mother.
Homer's a nice boy, Henry, but I'd like to keep my home in one piece a while longer.
Listen, doll, would you mind if I have lunch here?
Why?
I don't think I'd better feel my love until she's cooled off.
You mean she said no?
That's one of the things she said.
Mother, you're our last hope.
I'm sorry, dear, but do you remember what happened when Homer tripped last New Year's Eve?
That lovely picture of Aunt Harriet dropped right off the wall.
I know, only she hasn't looked the same since.
Mother, suppose Homer promises to keep an eye on his feet every minute.
He was, Mrs. Rollers, if it'll make you feel any better.
Agnes and Mariel sit on the couch and we get off it all easily.
Please, Mother.
All right, I'm home.
In the kitchen, Sam.
Henry, suppose we leave it up to your father.
Father?
You think we ought to drag in people who might be prejudiced?
I do.
Who will it?
Good afternoon, Alice.
Boys?
Hello, dear.
Well, why the serious faces?
Sam, the boys would like to have a party here tonight.
A party?
A quiet one, Father.
Just say goodbye to Kathleen and Agnes.
They're leaving for Lake Wichita McClatchy tomorrow.
Tomorrow? The Lawsons and the Andersons are leaving so soon.
So wouldn't you say a farewell party is a good idea?
Why...
Or wouldn't you?
Alice, I don't think it would do any harm.
Gee, Father.
Boy, Mr. Allrich, have I misjudged you.
You're really a nice guy.
Why, thank you.
Well, as you think so, Sam.
You know what, Alice? We owe the Andersons and the Lawsons a little party.
Why not have them come over, too, make one big party of it?
What?
Sam, that's an excellent idea.
We can all say goodbye in one fell swoop.
Kathleen, could you hand me the rest of the peanut butter?
I'm the friend, Julie.
All the kids are going to have something to eat.
Why bother with peanut butter, Sam?
Karma loves them.
Oh, here.
Thanks.
My, wasn't Sweetie the Boyce to arrange this farewell party for us?
I'll say, hand me the chili sauce.
Here.
Thanks.
Hey, if you're not going to put chili sauce on the peanut butter...
Homer likes it this way.
She does?
Yes.
Anything that's so a taste of that peanut butter.
Did you have any trouble talking your parents into inviting Homer to the lake?
I'll say I did.
I don't feel I should see too much of Homer until I grow up and get more sense.
Now, don't forget, we're not going to tell them about being invited until the last minute.
They'll be so surprised they'll fall over.
Well, you think we're doing the right thing, don't you?
Making peanut butter sandwiches?
No, inviting the boys up to the lake.
Hey, what do you mean?
I mean, well, there'll be other boys up there, and don't you think we should stand some new blood?
Of course we could.
We'll find some, but why burn our bridges behind us?
What bridges?
I mean, Homer, you wouldn't want to come back and find they've gotten interested in other girls, would you?
You think they would?
I know you don't like me to mention this, but remember what happened between Geraldine Love and Homer when you went away last Christmas?
Yeah. Yeah.
Agnes!
Boy, the man in my back was fun!
Agnes is squeezing the peanut butter right out of that sandwich.
Oh, beware!
Don't you agree we ought to invite them up for a couple of weeks and play safe?
Henry, where shall I put these logs?
Right next to the barbecue, Homer.
There.
I guess we've got enough, huh, Homer?
Sure. Boy, and it sure is smart of you to think of moving our party out to your backyard.
Thanks, Homer.
We wouldn't have gotten anywhere with the girls with their parents right there in the same room.
Besides, when you come right down to it, it's really cooler out here.
Sure.
And no pictures to fall off the wall.
Where are bulbs going through?
Help me move this porch glider, Homer.
Okay. Where?
In front of the barbecue so we can watch the corn while it's roasting.
There.
Henry, is this a four-man glider?
Why, it could be, Homer, if you don't mind a little squeezing.
Gee, Liz, why should I luring?
Well, what are you boys doing with the fireplace?
Why, have you ever noticed our living room when more than four people get in it?
Gee, Liz, it sort of disappears.
You don't say.
Yes, and under those conditions, we and the girls don't mind being outside in the yard.
Well, that sounds sensible.
Are you planning on roasting something in the fireplace?
Yes, Father, corn.
Corn?
Hey, I haven't had roast corn in years.
How are you going to do it?
How? Was there any other way besides wrapping them in corn trucks?
Henry, you're crazy.
The best way to roast corn is put them on a spit and keep swiping them with a paintbrush.
Paintbrush?
With butter on it.
Well, you're both wrong.
The way we did it when I was a boy was wrap them with mud and drop them in the cold.
Mud?
Well, they come out so tender and...
Dirty?
Delicious.
You've never had them that way?
Gee, no.
I'll say.
Well, you don't know what you've missed.
I tell you what I'll do.
I'll roast some for you tonight.
Why?
But, Father, what about your guests?
We'll move them out here, too.
Out here?
We'll all have a good old-fashioned corn row.
Henry, this is the best idea you've had in a long time.
Thank you, Father.
Wrap in mud?
Boy.
Quiet, Homer.
My father will hear you.
Boy, all I can say is he must have had some childhood if he went around wrapping his corn
in mud.
Homer, the important thing is everybody will be here in a little while.
How are we going to get the girls alone?
Henry, why didn't I tell you, Father, that we don't like this company, but would you mind
not whoring in?
Homer, I couldn't.
It might hurt his feelings.
I know, but we don't want to go through the summer with just each other staring us in the
face, do we?
Wait a minute, Homer.
Wait a minute.
I think I've got it.
You have?
Are you, fellas?
Boy, what a time for Willie to show up.
Just ignore him, Homer.
How?
What are you doing, fellas?
Nothing, Willie, and we'd appreciate it if you didn't bother us.
Sure, fellas.
What are you glad to?
Good.
What is it?
What is what?
That I'm not supposed to body about.
Anything, Willie, anything.
Homer, here's my idea.
Hey, fellas, did you know I'm going away for the summer tomorrow?
That's fine, Willie.
That's the best news I've had all day.
Goodbye.
Goodbye?
You want me to beat it?
Just until next fall.
Fall?
Well, if that's the way you feel, I was going to tell you where I'm going, but now fat chance.
Good.
I've been spending the whole summer wondering where I am for all I care.
Henry, what's your idea?
I won't even write.
Homer, Homer, why not take the girls out for a really big farewell party to the best restaurant
in town?
What?
Not a single word.
Henry, all we have is a 39 cent.
Not even a postcard.
It's a beautiful card.
It won't cost us a cent.
Or anything.
It won't.
No.
Willie.
Yes, Henry, yes, you want me to tell you where I'm going?
No, Willie, but you and your family eat out a lot, don't you?
Well, as much as we can without insulting my mother.
Well, um, well, tell me, Willie, where would you like to go if you were going on a farewell
party?
A farewell party?
Someone's giving a farewell party?
Haven't you been listening?
No.
Who?
We are.
No kidding.
Where, Willie?
See, I've always thought the white feather inn was a swell place.
Sure, the white feather inn.
Come on inside, Homer.
Thanks, Willie.
Don't thank me.
Henry, aren't you going to tell me your plan?
Simple, Homer.
Look, if we go in and tell my father we'd like to take the girls to the white feather
inn, what do you think will happen?
He'll horn in.
And if we're there with the older people, they couldn't very well expect us to do any
paying, could they?
Thanks.
Then later on we'll go to a movie.
And once we're in the dark, Homer, we're set.
Henry, why you?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Thanks, Homer.
Father, are you home?
Come in here, Henry.
No, Alice.
Sam, I won't hear of it.
Eating our guest's muddy corn.
Alice, it's delicious.
No, Sam.
Besides, corn is not in TV yet.
It isn't?
It isn't.
Just make a nice tossed salad instead.
Alice, what kind of a farewell party will it be with just a tossed salad and no corn?
You know, Father, that's just what we were thinking.
That's why Homer and I thought we might take the girls out to dinner instead.
To dinner?
Yes.
At the White Feather Inn, say?
That's an excellent idea.
Why don't we all go?
You're coming along, Father?
If you don't mind.
Mind?
Mother, who can you waste more than Mary?
Well, we'd better start getting dead, Sam.
Father, suppose Homer and I pick up the girls in our car and drive them down.
Very well.
I'll call the Andersons and ask them to pick us up.
Mother!
Come on, Homer.
See you later, Father.
Goodbye, Mother.
Goodbye, Father.
I have to run.
I'm going.
I'm dancing with Joe Graham.
He's leaving for a summer job tomorrow morning.
Oh.
Well, Mary, why not join us?
You, Father?
We're having a farewell party at the White Feather Inn.
You couldn't expect Joe Graham to say goodbye in front of my own mother and father.
Oh, my goodness.
Sam.
What's wrong, Alice?
See, you don't both Henry and Homer feel the way Mary does, do you?
About Joe Graham?
Sam, you don't think we're forcing our way in on their farewell party?
Well, they said they didn't mind our joining them.
Sam, they were just being polite.
My goodness, they've probably been saving up for this evening for months.
Well, Alice, what can we do?
Sam, there's just one thing we can do.
Keep all the grownups away and let the boys have their own farewell party exactly the way they wanted it.
And now getting back to the troubles of Henry Aldridge.
In order to induce Kathleen and Agnes to invite them to the lake this summer, Henry and Homer are taking them to the most expensive restaurant in town for dinner.
At Mr. Aldridge's expense, they hope.
The seat opens in the white feather inn.
Henry, have you told your parents the white feather inn, didn't you?
They'll be here, Homer. They're waiting for the Andersons to pick them up.
They shouldn't be long, Henry. My parents are just about ready to leave and you two did the hard.
Homer, before we order, let's get one thing straight.
Are you taking care of the whole bill?
Sure.
Including the tip?
Sure.
I don't have to pay for a thing?
No.
What's come over you?
Oh gee, Agnes, it's just a sample of the way we feel toward you.
It is?
Would you like me to put a nickel in the jukebox, Kathleen?
What for?
So we can have music with our meal.
Sure, it helps you digest, especially fast music.
Henry, you're spending enough money on it, because it is.
Gee, Kathleen, tonight the sky's the limit. We've got 39 cents put aside for music alone.
Well, that's right, because everybody else turns.
Boy, am I starved. Am I starved.
Agnes, what are you going to order?
I don't know. What are you?
I don't know. There's a lovely special dinner here in the corner for 85 cents.
What's on it?
Oh no, that's only for children.
Up to what age?
Oh, and I'm going to have pheasants under glass.
What's a pheasant?
Boy, it's sort of a chicken, only tougher.
And it's under glass?
Sure.
How do you eat it?
I don't know, but don't you think it might be interesting to find out?
I'll have pheasant, too.
Isn't that terribly expensive?
Kathleen, I told you, this is our night to howl.
Well, in that case, you know what I've always wanted to try? Lobster.
Lobster? I'll have that, too.
So will I.
Instead of pheasants.
Now, as a side order.
Excuse me, I'm Mr. Curly, the manager. Is there a Mr. Aldrich at this table?
Oh, that's me.
A Mr. Aldrich wants you on the phone.
Oh, he does? I guess he wants to tell me they're on their way over.
Would the rest of you folks like to order?
Boy, I'm starved.
Be whizzed. As long as they're practically here, we might as well.
Sure, let's order up.
Fine. The phone's right there in the corner.
I'll be right back.
Pheasant under glass, please.
Very nice service.
Hello, Father.
Hello, son.
Father, where are you?
I'm having dinner with the Andersons and the Lawsons.
What?
We finally realized you'd much rather be alone.
Alone? Father, no!
Now, you needn't be polite, Henry. We understand.
But, but, but, Father!
Your mother and I want you to have a good time, and be sure to say goodbye to the girls for us.
Good night, son.
Wait, Father. Come back.
Father, all we've got is thirty-nine cents!
This girl's going to make us up a special dessert with four different flavors of ice cream for only two dollars extra.
Homer.
Henry, you know the lights here make you look awfully pale.
Homer, it isn't the lights. My father just gilded it.
What?
He's not coming. How will we pay for the dinner?
Henry, we've already ordered.
Well, we'll have to unorder quick. Come on.
Oh, boy. Into that?
Let's go to town.
Can you hear the rest of them coming?
No, Kathleen.
That's good. My mother's always watching us, figure.
But, you see, I-
Homer, we changed our minds about that special dessert.
You did? That's a good idea.
Mr. Curly suggested a thing called baked alaska instead.
He did?
Yes, it's hot ice cream. Isn't that ridiculous? It's the most expensive dessert they have.
Oh, boy.
Ah, will there be anything else?
Yes, Mr. Curly.
No, that is...
Agnes, why stuff yourself?
Why not? It's so free.
What Homer means is...
Well, gee, don't you think it's too hot for all that heavy food we ordered?
Why not order something light?
Like what, Henry?
Why, uh, Mr. Curly, could you make us up some nice lettuce sandwiches?
I'm afraid not.
Besides, I'd rather have pheasant on the glass with lobster on the side.
Hey, fellas!
It's Willie.
What's he doing here?
Am I late, fellas?
It's Willie.
Late for what, Willie?
My farewell party that Henry and Homer are throwing for me.
Oh, boy.
Mr., you want to take my order? Boy, am I starved.
Well, what did Mr. Curly say?
Homer, you should have heard him.
He sure looked mad.
The way he was waving his arms, I thought Curly was going to hit you with one of them.
So did I.
Is he going to sue us?
Not exactly.
We have to come in every afternoon and mop floors.
Until it's worked off.
Henry, that'll take us all Sunday.
I know.
Gee whay.
We'd better get back to the girls.
Did Agnes eat everything she ordered?
Yes.
I don't know where she put it, but she put it.
Where in Willie go?
To the havens for a soda.
After all he ate, he told him he needed something to wash it all down.
Oh, this boy, what a meal.
Henry, I've never had a lovelier time.
Mmm, so.
It was a pleasure, Kathleen.
Can you tell him now, Agnes?
Okay.
Tell us why.
You won't believe your ears.
I won't.
Henry, we talked our parents into inviting both of you up to the lake.
What?
Why?
We were saving you for a surprise.
Aren't we all?
When can you come?
Why?
I'll tell you Kathleen, I don't think we can make it.
Why?
Why not?
We expect to be pretty tied up.
Also a little odd.
Don't you think so?
Why?
They don't have to tell us Kathleen, it's obvious.
What is?
Don't pretend, Homer.
Imagine trying to cover up with a cute meal.
Cute?
What are you talking about?
When did Geraldine Love decide to stay in town, Homer?
Geraldine Love.
Oh.
Kathleen, you're getting the wrong idea.
Sure, Geraldine isn't going to be in town.
Oh, then it's two other girls.
Sure, no, I mean no.
Henry, I never would have believed it.
And after all this trouble we went through to get you invited.
Agnes, I think we better go.
I'll say.
The way to God.
Agnes.
I hope you have a colorful summer.
Kathleen.
Agnes.
Oh, that's a fine thing.
That's what I say.
If we'd ever look at any other girl.
Sure, besides who's left in Centerville.
Boy, Homer, what a summer this is going to be.
Mopping floors every day and just each other every night.
Henry, hear me that low, I'm starved.
Well, I bet you boys haven't left.
You want us to start mopping floors right now, Mr. Curly?
Well, now look, it occurred to me that I may have gotten a little upset a while back.
Gee, you had every right to.
Well, I've been thinking over and I'll tell you what I'll do.
Yes, Mr. Curly?
Yes, Mr. Curly.
Instead of mopping up and working in the kitchen all summer to pay off the checks,
I would like to work two full weeks as bus boys.
Bus boys with uniforms and everything?
And I'll give you five dollars a week besides.
Gee.
Uncle George.
Yes, Myra?
Oh, boy, Henry, love.
Uncle George, you wanted over at the...
Hello?
Yes, Myra?
Have I disbodied, Uncle George?
You called me?
Oh, yes, you wanted at the cashier's desk.
Tell them I'll be there in a minute.
Yes, Uncle George.
Well, bye.
Goodbye.
Well, boys?
Boys?
Why?
Were you going out, Mr. Curly?
I was.
Oh, gee, who was that?
My niece.
She's visiting me this summer.
She is?
All summer?
Yes, she and her twin sister.
Oh, boy.
There's another one who looks like that.
Do both of them work here, Mr. Curly?
They help out in the afternoon setting tables and things.
They do?
Well, what do you say, boys?
Would you like to work the check off quickly in two weeks?
Why, uh...
I'll tell you, Mr. Curly,
I think we'd rather mop floors and stretch it out over the whole summer.