THE BATTLE OF FRANCE
'Well you know die predictor—that delicate bit of
machinery that, given the elements of the problem,
tells you where to fire. This machine, as you've seen,
is standing there fully exposed to squalls of rain.
The other day I saw that it was tarnishing a little
inside and getting indistinct, I wrote to the War
Office for advice and what do you think they wrote
back? "The predictor should be kept in a warm
place and protected from the damp." '
'And what was your reply?'
'Just two words: "Says you." *
'One of the most beautiful military replies I've
ever heard of/ said the Padr£, 'was given in India by
a captain who had lost a steam-roller, and who was
asked by the Government of India for an explana-
tion. On the form he received he wrote, after the
words "Reason for the loss", "Eaten by white ants."
He never heard another word/
One of the men came and laid a finished letter on
the captain's table. The captain sighed.
'Well, sir,' the soldier said, 'are you obliged to
read it? Haven't you any confidence in your
gunners?*
'No,' said the captain, 'I know them too well/
He accompanied us outside.
'No aeroplanes to shoot at?'
Tm afraid not. There's no hope in weather like
this. And what exasperates the men is that during
the last fortnight they've had ten warnings or more