2l6
he gave it, saying : c It's your own wages, after all,
that you've earned, you can always ask for it.'
But when he had been several evenings in succession,
Werendonk, who was sitting up still, asked if he
could rely on his remembering his duty. Temptation
was proving too strong again and the boy didn't
even realise it. He confessed that he had borrowed
money, he promised not to do it again. But when
he went into town to pay it back, he forgot all about
it, squandered it with his friends and came home late.
Not long after this, walking to the station, he had
two stolen guilders in his pocket. He felt there was
something strange about himself, but his thoughts
were on other tilings.
The next time he was walking that way, hurrying
although he was in plenty of time for the train, he
remembered how it had happened, his head grew
hot and heavy at the thought. Through everything
he did, everything he said, the whole day long there
had been something that hurt him, the perpetual
torture about the money he had borrowed and had
to pay back that evening ; the fear and the inability
to ask Uncle Gerbrand for it. He had given a
customer fifty cents in change, and the guilder that
had been handed to him remained in his hand when
he shut the drawer. It was done before he knew
it. And the torments grew worse because he was
wailing for an opportunity to put the guilder back
in the drawer. What had happened afterwards he