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come to get a little comfort from you.3 Without
speaking they stood in the shadow of the door,
gazing on to the sunlit foliage of the chestnut-tree.
It was particularly in the evenings that he felt it
was too much for him. There were no more round
games since he had been going out so often, so he
went out and walked about the streets, choosing the
lonely ones, where there were no people sitting at
their doors. And, although he felt tired, he put off
going home. He visited the Kroons and sat there
until it grew late ; he was so silent that they kept
asking him what the matter was. He went to see
Jansje, too, who, as was her habit, was sitting in
the dark beside her coffee brazier. £ If you've
something on your mind, why don't you tell ine ? '
She had guessed it. But how could he tell her that
he had become frightened of the house ?
That night it struck him that it would be better
to go away. He lay wide awake, relieved, and
amazed that he had not thought of it before, his
head full of plans to earn his living elsewhere. He
decided he must talk it over with Wijntje, for without
her he knew he wouldn't have the strength. To
the East or to America, it didn't matter where, so
long as he was far away from here and had finished
for good with the house that had seen him grow up
to be a sinner. He couldn't talk it over with Uncle
Gerbrand because he couldn't tell him the reason.
They would have to go away secretly. He smiled