232
ments; he saw him in the parlour where, in such
weather, it would be terribly dark. And thinking
of the house, as it had looked down on him that
morning, it was all he could do to hold back his
tears. It wasn't unlike the houses here, all round
the market-place, but these weren't real and had
never seen things happen to the people who lived
in them. It seemed queer to him that he should
see it now so plainly before his eyes, the clean blue
steps, the yellow window-panes, the bricks dark
and dead. It was only to get away from that house
that he had taken the money. Uncle Gerbrand
would never understand it, for he would see that
the very evening before he had been reading the Bible.
But he didn't understand himself, either, how there
could be such a great difference in him between
what he wished and what he did. It was useless
to think about it. The decision had been made and
he couldn't turn back. But his heart was heavy,
and the grey weather didn't make it any better
here in the midst of these houses, that had been set
up like toys for a summer's amusement, empty now
and locked up.
In the evening he met some friends and went out
with them. A week later he suddenly woke up in
his lodgings. Why did I take the money ? he asked
himself. To get away from the house, away from
the temptation which was always dragging me into
sin, to go to some other place and live an honest