WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:10.000 From television city in Hollywood, we bring you the Jack Benny Show with his special guest 00:10.000 --> 00:13.000 Humphrey Bogart, presented by Lucky Strike. 00:13.000 --> 00:24.200 Ladies and gentlemen, one of America's greatest football coaches, Lou Little. 00:24.200 --> 00:31.000 It's not surprising, you know, for a football coach to enjoy a cigarette for relaxation, 00:31.000 --> 00:38.200 just as you do, and particularly after a hard game or a tough practice session. 00:38.200 --> 00:44.440 Now, I've smoked Luckies for a great many years because I like the way they taste, and 00:44.440 --> 00:50.320 it's all a matter of taste, just as the football that you enjoy watching. 00:50.320 --> 00:55.720 As a football coach, I like the offense, the game, and what's great, deception, speed, 00:55.720 --> 00:59.800 and power, and a great deal of pressure put on that defensive lineup. 00:59.800 --> 01:04.800 Wait a minute now, we were talking about Luckies. 01:04.800 --> 01:11.200 Again I want to say they appeal to me because I like that taste, and again, it's all a matter 01:11.200 --> 01:12.200 of taste. 01:12.200 --> 01:15.200 We hope that like Lou Little, you're a lucky smoker. 01:15.200 --> 01:18.200 If not, we're confident you will be once you've tried Luckies. 01:18.200 --> 01:23.920 You see, smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste, and the fact of the matter is, Luckies 01:23.920 --> 01:27.440 taste better, cleaner, fresher, smoother. 01:27.440 --> 01:28.440 There are two reasons. 01:28.440 --> 01:29.440 First, LSMFT. 01:29.440 --> 01:35.200 Lucky strike means fine tobacco, and then Luckies are actually made better. 01:35.200 --> 01:37.520 So be happy, go lucky. 01:37.520 --> 01:57.480 See for yourself that Luckies taste better. 01:57.480 --> 02:02.640 Thank you very, very much, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Lucky Strike program. 02:02.640 --> 02:12.400 You know, I... really, you'll have to excuse me for laughing, but I just spent the most 02:12.400 --> 02:15.600 wonderful half hour I've ever spent in my life. 02:15.600 --> 02:18.880 I was listening to my own radio show. 02:18.880 --> 02:27.240 And I don't know, I was so comical, you know. 02:27.240 --> 02:29.240 I said so many funny things. 02:29.240 --> 02:34.520 Oh, I know what you're thinking, you know, but I believe, I really believe that a man 02:34.520 --> 02:37.000 should be honest with himself. 02:37.000 --> 02:46.440 If there's anything I hate is when a comedian is great and won't admit it. 02:46.440 --> 02:51.240 I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate it. 02:51.240 --> 02:54.160 And one thing about me, ladies, I'm honest. 02:54.160 --> 02:56.280 I really am, you know. 02:56.280 --> 03:03.040 If any other comedian, if any other comedian has a bad show, I'm the first one to admit 03:03.040 --> 03:04.040 it. 03:04.040 --> 03:08.600 I talk about it all the time. 03:08.600 --> 03:12.320 But I, oh, I have my faults. 03:12.320 --> 03:13.960 I'm not perfect or anything. 03:13.960 --> 03:20.200 I, you know, I'm too easygoing and I'm not overly ambitious, but then after all, I don't 03:20.200 --> 03:26.200 want to be the, you know, the richest man in the world, you know. 03:26.200 --> 03:29.400 America's big enough for me. 03:29.400 --> 03:37.120 But, you know, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, you know, I announced three weeks ago that 03:37.120 --> 03:41.800 tonight Mary Livingston was going to be on my show, you see. 03:41.800 --> 03:45.920 But unfortunately, we had a postponement because there was a big mix up and everything, you 03:45.920 --> 03:46.920 see. 03:46.920 --> 03:52.840 When the producer asked Mary to be on my show, I told Mary to ask for a lot of money, you 03:52.840 --> 03:54.040 see. 03:54.040 --> 03:59.640 You know, I forgot that I was paying for it. 03:59.640 --> 04:06.000 So instead of Mary, tonight we have Humphrey Bogart as our guest star. 04:06.000 --> 04:12.640 And really, I'm getting him fairly reasonably. 04:12.640 --> 04:16.040 You know how tough he is on the screen? 04:16.040 --> 04:18.360 You know what a tough guy? 04:18.360 --> 04:20.640 Knows nothing about business. 04:20.640 --> 04:22.120 Nothing. 04:22.120 --> 04:26.400 Nothing at all. 04:26.400 --> 04:28.880 Well anyway, this show that I'm going to do... 04:28.880 --> 04:29.880 Jack! 04:29.880 --> 04:30.880 Jack! 04:30.880 --> 04:33.880 What is it, Bob? 04:33.880 --> 04:39.800 Jack, I want to talk to you a minute. 04:39.800 --> 04:40.800 What is it? 04:40.800 --> 04:43.800 Well, I just heard that you talked with the producer and there's a possibility of my song 04:43.800 --> 04:45.120 being out of this show. 04:45.120 --> 04:49.320 Yeah, well look, Bob, the reason for that is, see, this show is very, very long, you 04:49.320 --> 04:50.320 see. 04:50.320 --> 04:53.960 And we've got to make up our minds whether we take out your song or my jokes, you see. 04:53.960 --> 04:56.880 And then we thought we would do what was best for the show. 04:56.880 --> 04:58.360 Oh, well then my song is in. 04:58.360 --> 05:09.440 No, no, Bob, we felt that it would be much more important, you see, to leave in my jokes. 05:09.440 --> 05:12.480 You mean your jokes are more important than my song? 05:12.480 --> 05:13.720 Yes, yes. 05:13.720 --> 05:16.560 My jokes stay in and your song goes out. 05:16.560 --> 05:21.840 Well, that's like keeping the smog and throwing away Los Angeles. 05:21.840 --> 05:33.840 Well, keeping the smog and throwing away Los Angeles. 05:33.840 --> 05:35.080 Pretty clever line, isn't it? 05:35.080 --> 05:36.080 Yes. 05:36.080 --> 05:37.080 Well, it's in my next TV show. 05:37.080 --> 05:39.320 I'm on TV five times a week. 05:39.320 --> 05:41.040 I thought you were tired. 05:41.040 --> 05:43.840 I can see that. 05:43.840 --> 05:47.200 Now, look at Bob, your song is out and that settles it. 05:47.200 --> 05:48.920 You see, I'm running this show. 05:48.920 --> 05:49.920 I'm the boss. 05:49.920 --> 05:52.680 It's my show and I'm running it, whether it's good, bad, or indifferent. 05:52.680 --> 05:55.240 Well, that's what the critics said about your last show. 05:55.240 --> 05:56.240 What? 05:56.240 --> 05:59.720 Said Bob was good, Jack was bad, and the audience was indifferent. 05:59.720 --> 06:03.840 Look, Bob, go and get ready for the play, will you? 06:03.840 --> 06:04.840 All right. 06:04.840 --> 06:08.800 You know, I can't understand. 06:08.800 --> 06:10.480 He's the toughest guy to get along with. 06:10.480 --> 06:12.960 You know, he's only been with me a short time, you know. 06:12.960 --> 06:18.720 And the only reason I hired him at all was because I wanted him, you know, I wanted him 06:18.720 --> 06:21.480 to introduce me to his brother, Bing. 06:21.480 --> 06:28.560 Then I found out he didn't even know him. 06:28.560 --> 06:35.600 Well, anyway, as I say, the reason, the reason that I've got Humphrey Bogart on this show, 06:35.600 --> 06:38.600 I want to tell you about the play that I'm going to do with Humphrey Bogart, is because 06:38.600 --> 06:44.840 my sponsor called me yesterday, I believe it was, and my sponsor, he's an awfully nice 06:44.840 --> 06:49.000 fellow, and my sponsor told me that he had a feeling, you know, he likes my shows, he 06:49.000 --> 06:55.000 likes my TV shows very, very much, but he had a feeling that I wasn't doing the integrated 06:55.000 --> 06:56.000 commercials. 06:56.000 --> 07:01.520 He said I wasn't making the middle commercials in the show important enough, you know, and 07:01.520 --> 07:07.480 after all, you know, my sponsor's paying the bills and everything, and he has the privilege 07:07.480 --> 07:09.600 of making suggestions, you see. 07:09.600 --> 07:14.200 Of course, I don't have to take the suggestions, you know. 07:14.200 --> 07:20.440 I have the privilege of quitting. 07:20.440 --> 07:27.840 But I don't want to abuse the privilege, so tonight, tonight on this show, in case you 07:27.840 --> 07:30.280 notice that we stress the commercial. 07:30.280 --> 07:31.280 You know I'm doing it. 07:31.280 --> 07:32.280 I'm doing it because... 07:32.280 --> 07:44.160 Jack, what's this I hear about you writing me out of the commercial on this show? 07:44.160 --> 07:47.320 Well, Don, Don, look it. 07:47.320 --> 07:49.440 Am I going to have trouble with you too? 07:49.440 --> 07:51.440 You very well may. 07:51.440 --> 07:53.680 Oh, I very well may. 07:53.680 --> 07:57.160 Well, Don, the reason you're not doing the commercial, see, is because I have another 07:57.160 --> 08:00.040 very important way of doing it. 08:00.040 --> 08:02.120 Now, just a minute, Jack. 08:02.120 --> 08:04.840 What's more important about the commercial than the way I do it? 08:04.840 --> 08:08.120 Look, Don, you don't fit into it this week. 08:08.120 --> 08:17.880 I mean, hurting the script for the sake of your commercial is like, is like, is like 08:17.880 --> 08:21.800 keeping the smog and throwing away Los Angeles. 08:21.800 --> 08:24.000 Excuse me. 08:24.000 --> 08:26.400 Now, ladies... 08:26.400 --> 08:30.320 Jack, look, don't you know what my doing this commercial means to me? 08:30.320 --> 08:32.280 Now, after all, I'm not a funny man. 08:32.280 --> 08:33.720 I don't tell jokes. 08:33.720 --> 08:34.880 I'm not an actor. 08:34.880 --> 08:35.920 I don't sing songs. 08:35.920 --> 08:37.440 I don't lead a band. 08:37.440 --> 08:42.200 What are you paying me for? 08:42.200 --> 08:50.440 Don, you're hanging yourself. 08:50.440 --> 08:53.440 We'll talk about it later, huh? 08:53.440 --> 09:03.600 The fellow been with me 20 years. 09:03.600 --> 09:09.120 I can't understand why I have so much trouble with everybody in my cast, but everybody, 09:09.120 --> 09:12.040 always complaining, always unhappy. 09:12.040 --> 09:13.560 I don't know. 09:13.560 --> 09:17.160 Maybe if I gave more money, that... 09:17.160 --> 09:18.160 Nah. 09:18.160 --> 09:23.600 Better they should be unhappy than me. 09:23.600 --> 09:26.200 But anyway, well, we've got to get on now with the show. 09:26.200 --> 09:31.960 Ladies and gentlemen, now tonight, we're going to offer a real, real dramatic play called 09:31.960 --> 09:36.760 Baby Face, starring Humphrey Bogart. 09:36.760 --> 09:46.040 On with the show. 09:46.040 --> 09:51.160 This is the 24th Precinct Police Station, situated in the heart of New York's theatrical 09:51.160 --> 09:53.160 district. 09:53.160 --> 09:55.760 This is the detective squad room. 09:55.760 --> 10:00.680 Here crime, with its quick, easy promise, is shorn of its flimsy veneer and revealed 10:00.680 --> 10:03.880 in its sordid, squalid reality. 10:03.880 --> 10:09.720 To this room come people from all walks of life, the flotsam and the jetsam, the hoy 10:09.720 --> 10:10.720 and also the polloy. 10:10.720 --> 10:16.800 The man you see at the typewriter is Detective Sergeant Crosby. 10:16.800 --> 10:21.680 The man looking through the file, standing behind Crosby to his right, which would be 10:21.680 --> 10:29.280 to your left on the screen, or to your right, and his left, or... 10:29.280 --> 10:34.200 Well, anyway, he's Detective Wilson, and he's to everybody's right and left. 10:34.200 --> 10:38.920 You can't miss him. 10:38.920 --> 10:43.360 The men who just came in are Detective O'Brien and a suspect he has just arrested. 10:43.360 --> 10:47.600 Well, where'd you pick this one up, O'Brien? 10:47.600 --> 10:48.600 I picked him up in an alley. 10:48.600 --> 10:49.600 You know what I've done? 10:49.600 --> 11:05.440 I caught him trying to start a fire in a warehouse. 11:05.440 --> 11:07.640 He may be that fire bug we've been looking for. 11:07.640 --> 11:09.600 Take him up and let the captain have a look at him. 11:09.600 --> 11:10.600 God, get in there. 11:10.600 --> 11:11.600 Come on, get in there. 11:11.600 --> 11:12.600 O'Brien was an honest cop. 11:12.600 --> 11:20.360 We could tell that from the clothes he wore. 11:20.360 --> 11:24.720 Incidentally, my name is Lieutenant Benny. 11:24.720 --> 11:27.320 I should be arriving at the office any minute. 11:27.320 --> 11:32.880 Oh, here I come now. 11:32.880 --> 11:37.680 I took off my hat and coat. 11:37.680 --> 11:39.680 I hung them up on the hall tree. 11:39.680 --> 11:49.360 I exchanged a few messages with Wilson and Crosby. 11:49.360 --> 12:01.680 I had heard a funny story last night, and I passed it on to the boys. 12:01.680 --> 12:06.920 Although I was a tough boss and a stickler for work, I had a lot of charm, and the boys 12:06.920 --> 12:07.920 loved me. 12:07.920 --> 12:08.920 I didn't see that. 12:08.920 --> 12:09.920 Hello? 12:09.920 --> 12:10.920 Precinct 24. 12:10.920 --> 12:11.920 Yeah? 12:11.920 --> 12:12.920 Detective Benny speaking. 12:12.920 --> 12:34.480 Just a minute. 12:34.480 --> 12:37.480 385 Madison Avenue, eh? 12:37.480 --> 12:39.280 Window pried open? 12:39.280 --> 12:40.440 Uh-huh. 12:40.440 --> 12:41.440 Screen loose? 12:41.440 --> 12:43.960 No fingerprints. 12:43.960 --> 12:46.840 Must be the cat burglar, all right. 12:46.840 --> 12:47.840 We'll get him. 12:47.840 --> 12:50.840 Oh, the cat burglar again, eh? 12:50.840 --> 12:51.840 Yeah. 12:51.840 --> 12:55.280 It's the 15th cat he stole this week. 12:55.280 --> 12:57.280 It's terrible. 12:57.280 --> 13:01.440 My cat's afraid to go out at night. 13:01.440 --> 13:05.040 I don't blame her. 13:05.040 --> 13:08.880 Hey, Lieutenant, here's Officer Sweeney's report. 13:08.880 --> 13:11.840 You know, he went over to Brooklyn to pick up that strip teaser. 13:11.840 --> 13:12.840 The strip teaser? 13:12.840 --> 13:13.840 That was four days ago. 13:13.840 --> 13:20.560 Yeah, I know, but Sweeney wants to make sure she's guilty before he brings her in. 13:20.560 --> 13:24.920 I tried to arrest her myself, but I couldn't get anything on her. 13:24.920 --> 13:39.480 Better fix up these files. 13:39.480 --> 13:43.520 Well, Slim Finger Sarah. 13:43.520 --> 13:46.640 I caught her over at the Auto-Net. 13:46.640 --> 13:48.640 She was lifting the nickels out of the slots. 13:48.640 --> 13:50.960 There she was again, eh? 13:50.960 --> 13:51.960 You can go, Burke. 13:51.960 --> 13:52.960 I'll take care of her. 13:52.960 --> 13:53.960 Take your filthy hands off me. 13:53.960 --> 13:54.960 Come on. 13:54.960 --> 13:55.960 I said take your filthy hands off me. 13:55.960 --> 13:56.960 All right, all right, don't holler. 13:56.960 --> 13:57.960 This ain't the first time you've been pinched. 13:57.960 --> 13:58.960 You're telling me I'm black and blue all over. 13:58.960 --> 13:59.960 Hey, Lieutenant, wasn't she in here about a month ago? 13:59.960 --> 14:00.960 Yeah, she's the slickest pickpocket in the country. 14:00.960 --> 14:01.960 Operates all over town. 14:01.960 --> 14:02.960 Last time I arrested her was at the zoo. 14:02.960 --> 14:03.960 The zoo? 14:03.960 --> 14:04.960 Yeah. 14:04.960 --> 14:05.960 She picked a baby cat up and took her to the zoo. 14:05.960 --> 14:06.960 She's a good cat. 14:06.960 --> 14:07.960 She's a good cat. 14:07.960 --> 14:08.960 She's a good cat. 14:08.960 --> 14:09.960 She's a good cat. 14:09.960 --> 14:10.960 She's a good cat. 14:10.960 --> 14:11.960 She's a good cat. 14:11.960 --> 14:12.960 She's a good cat. 14:12.960 --> 14:13.960 She's a good cat. 14:13.960 --> 14:14.960 She's a good cat. 14:14.960 --> 14:15.960 She's a good cat. 14:15.960 --> 14:16.960 She's a good cat. 14:16.960 --> 14:23.960 She's a good cat. 14:23.960 --> 14:34.960 She's a good cat. 14:34.960 --> 14:55.960 She's a good cat. 14:55.960 --> 15:02.960 Hello Shirley, and this is Sarah. 15:02.960 --> 15:07.960 Yeah, and say Shirley, will you do me a favor? 15:07.960 --> 15:10.960 Yeah, run across to my apartment, will ya? 15:10.960 --> 15:13.960 The mat, uh, the key is under the mat. 15:13.960 --> 15:17.960 And Shirley, there's a pot roast on the stove in the kitchen. 15:17.960 --> 15:19.960 That's right. 15:19.960 --> 15:22.960 Just lower the gas under it, huh? 15:22.960 --> 15:25.960 Yeah, very low. I won't be home for 90 days. 15:31.960 --> 15:33.960 Why didn't you call your lawyer? 15:33.960 --> 15:35.960 You don't like pot roasts. 15:35.960 --> 15:38.960 All right, sit down. I'll take care of you later. 15:43.960 --> 15:47.960 Though you may forget me, 15:47.960 --> 15:50.960 you're still on my mind. 15:50.960 --> 15:54.960 Look over your shoulder, 15:54.960 --> 15:57.960 I'm walking behind. 15:57.960 --> 15:59.960 My song, they cut out. 15:59.960 --> 16:04.960 Maybe you'll forget what a love that's new. 16:04.960 --> 16:08.960 But I shall wish again. 16:08.960 --> 16:10.960 Shut up, will ya? 16:12.960 --> 16:16.960 I was typing out a report on Slimfinger Sarah when the door opened. 16:16.960 --> 16:20.960 And there were Detectives Simmons and Ross. 16:20.960 --> 16:22.960 They had brought in a vicious gunman, 16:22.960 --> 16:26.960 a killer named Babyface Bogart. 16:38.960 --> 16:41.960 I didn't mind the applause he got on his entrance, 16:41.960 --> 16:46.960 but I resented the fact that Crosby and Wilson joined in. 16:48.960 --> 16:52.960 It looked like this time we had Bogart dead to rights. 16:52.960 --> 16:55.960 According to Detectives Simmons and Ross, 16:55.960 --> 16:58.960 a little crook named Blinky Mason had been shot to death. 16:58.960 --> 17:01.960 They picked up Bogart a few yards from the scene of the crime 17:01.960 --> 17:11.960 with a smoking.45 in his hand. 17:20.960 --> 17:23.960 Come over here. 17:23.960 --> 17:26.960 Sit down over there. 17:26.960 --> 17:29.960 Sit down. 17:30.960 --> 17:34.960 All right, Babyface, start talking. 17:34.960 --> 17:36.960 What do you know about Blinky Mason? 17:36.960 --> 17:38.960 I tell you I ain't never heard of no Blinky Mason. 17:38.960 --> 17:42.960 Who cares if he was raised in a tenement and his mother said he was a nice little boy, 17:42.960 --> 17:47.960 or his teacher, a sweet, gray-haired old lady, cried when he graduated, 17:47.960 --> 17:53.960 and his brother, his brother owns a haberdashery store in Schenectady. 17:53.960 --> 17:58.960 I mean, I don't even know his girlfriend, a blonde dame who works in an aircraft factory, 17:58.960 --> 18:02.960 or his boyhood chum that ran away from home and went to Australia. 18:02.960 --> 18:04.960 Wait a minute, Babyface. 18:04.960 --> 18:07.960 If you don't know Blinky Mason, how come you know so much about him? 18:07.960 --> 18:13.960 I seen it on This Is Your Life. 18:14.960 --> 18:16.960 What? 18:16.960 --> 18:24.960 Gee, gee how I cried when they brought in the warden that he hadn't seen for 20 years. 18:24.960 --> 18:25.960 The warden? 18:25.960 --> 18:26.960 Yeah, yeah. 18:26.960 --> 18:31.960 Hey, hey, you know they flew that guy all the way out from Sing Sing by TWA. 18:31.960 --> 18:36.960 Shut up, Babyface. 18:36.960 --> 18:39.960 You kill Blinky Mason, I'm gonna get a confession out of you. 18:39.960 --> 18:42.960 Yeah, and how you gonna do that? Beat me? 18:42.960 --> 18:47.960 He very well may. 18:47.960 --> 18:51.960 When Mason was knocked off, you were standing there with a gun. 18:51.960 --> 18:52.960 And listen to this. 18:52.960 --> 18:55.960 I'm walking behind you. 18:55.960 --> 18:59.960 Turn that thing off. 18:59.960 --> 19:01.960 Now what did you do with that gun? 19:01.960 --> 19:06.960 Now wait a minute, before you start any rough stuff, I'm entitled to one phone call, ain't I? 19:06.960 --> 19:07.960 Well, yes. 19:07.960 --> 19:12.960 Okay, give me a dime and I'll run down to the drug store. 19:12.960 --> 19:15.960 Oh, no you don't. 19:15.960 --> 19:18.960 You'll make that phone call right here where I can keep my eye on you. 19:18.960 --> 19:20.960 Yeah, and save a dime. 19:20.960 --> 19:31.960 Yeah. 19:31.960 --> 19:33.960 Hello, Shirley? 19:33.960 --> 19:34.960 Shirley? 19:34.960 --> 19:38.960 Yeah, well listen, listen honey, this is Babyface. 19:38.960 --> 19:41.960 Yeah, well I won't be home till a little later. 19:41.960 --> 19:43.960 Oh, that's too bad. 19:43.960 --> 19:46.960 Now what were we gonna have for dinner, honey? 19:46.960 --> 19:47.960 Pot roast. 19:47.960 --> 19:50.960 I could have told him that. 19:50.960 --> 19:52.960 Like a dirty crook. 19:52.960 --> 19:56.960 Yeah, yeah, now listen, listen, Shirley, I want you to do something for me. 19:56.960 --> 20:01.960 You go in the living room and over by the fireplace, and inside of the fireplace, there's two loose boards. 20:01.960 --> 20:07.960 Now, now listen, you lift up those boards and you stick your arm in, and inside there's a package. 20:07.960 --> 20:12.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's my laundry. 20:12.960 --> 20:17.960 Yeah, listen, I want it back by Friday. 20:17.960 --> 20:19.960 Why didn't you call your lawyer? 20:19.960 --> 20:22.960 Because I don't like the way he does my shirts. 20:22.960 --> 20:24.960 Now look at here. 20:24.960 --> 20:27.960 You killed Blinky Mason, didn't you? 20:27.960 --> 20:30.960 I didn't do it and I got a witness. 20:30.960 --> 20:33.960 Oh yeah? 20:33.960 --> 20:37.960 Yeah. 20:37.960 --> 20:42.960 I don't want to hear you guys' questions. 20:42.960 --> 20:43.960 Time for lunch. 20:43.960 --> 20:44.960 I'll go with you. 20:44.960 --> 20:50.960 Oh no, you're not going to leave me alone with this guy. 20:50.960 --> 20:57.960 Get over there and sit down. 20:57.960 --> 21:02.960 All right, baby face, you can start talking now. 21:02.960 --> 21:04.960 I want to hear about that witness. 21:04.960 --> 21:05.960 What about him? 21:05.960 --> 21:11.960 Well, I don't know his name, but he was standing right alongside of me at the time of the murder. 21:11.960 --> 21:12.960 Oh, he was, eh? 21:12.960 --> 21:13.960 Yeah. 21:13.960 --> 21:15.960 Uh-huh. 21:15.960 --> 21:16.960 What was he doing? 21:16.960 --> 21:18.960 Well, he was just standing there. 21:18.960 --> 21:20.960 He had... 21:20.960 --> 21:21.960 What did he look like? 21:21.960 --> 21:24.960 Well, he was a curly-headed guy. 21:24.960 --> 21:27.960 He was about five foot ten. 21:27.960 --> 21:29.960 He had a gray suit on and brown eyes. 21:29.960 --> 21:31.960 Oh yeah? 21:31.960 --> 21:32.960 What color hair? 21:32.960 --> 21:35.960 He was bald. 21:35.960 --> 21:36.960 Wait a minute. 21:36.960 --> 21:38.960 You said he was a curly-headed guy. 21:38.960 --> 21:39.960 That's right. 21:39.960 --> 21:48.960 No hair, just a curly head. 21:48.960 --> 21:51.960 I ain't buying that, baby face. 21:51.960 --> 21:52.960 Start singing. 21:52.960 --> 21:54.960 I'm walking behind you. 21:54.960 --> 22:02.960 Not you! 22:02.960 --> 22:06.960 Let's get back to that witness again. 22:06.960 --> 22:08.960 What was he doing? 22:08.960 --> 22:10.960 Well, he was, eh... 22:10.960 --> 22:14.960 He was holding a cigarette in his hand. 22:14.960 --> 22:16.960 Yeah? 22:16.960 --> 22:19.960 What kind of a cigarette? 22:19.960 --> 22:22.960 I said what kind of a cigarette? 22:22.960 --> 22:23.960 Well, he was, eh... 22:23.960 --> 22:26.960 I ain't gonna talk. 22:26.960 --> 22:28.960 I said what kind of a cigarette? 22:28.960 --> 22:29.960 All right, all right. 22:29.960 --> 22:38.960 It was a lucky strike. 22:38.960 --> 22:41.960 Now we're getting somewhere. 22:41.960 --> 22:43.960 A lucky strike, eh? 22:43.960 --> 22:46.960 What made you think it was a lucky strike? 22:46.960 --> 22:48.960 I ain't talking. 22:48.960 --> 22:50.960 What made you think it was a lucky strike? 22:50.960 --> 23:00.960 Because it was so round, so fine, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. 23:00.960 --> 23:02.960 Can you remember that, Wilson? 23:02.960 --> 23:07.960 Are you kidding? 23:07.960 --> 23:11.960 One more question, baby face. 23:11.960 --> 23:14.960 What was he doing with that cigarette? 23:14.960 --> 23:19.960 He was peeling it. 23:19.960 --> 23:21.960 Peeling it, eh? 23:21.960 --> 23:23.960 How'd you know it wasn't a banana? 23:23.960 --> 23:26.960 Because he let me taste it. 23:26.960 --> 23:28.960 It was a lucky strike, all right, because... 23:28.960 --> 23:30.960 Luckies taste bad. 23:30.960 --> 23:33.960 Pretty, no fresh, it's moldy. 23:33.960 --> 23:48.960 Lucky strike, lucky strike. 23:48.960 --> 23:51.960 All right. 23:51.960 --> 23:53.960 What else? 23:53.960 --> 23:54.960 Nothing. 23:54.960 --> 23:55.960 What? 23:55.960 --> 23:56.960 Nothing. 23:56.960 --> 23:57.960 What? 23:57.960 --> 24:02.960 Nothing, no nothing beats better taste. 24:02.960 --> 24:05.960 I knew we'd get him to talk. 24:05.960 --> 24:07.960 Lock him up, fellas. 24:07.960 --> 24:08.960 All right, all right, get him up. 24:08.960 --> 24:10.960 Get over there, you two. 24:10.960 --> 24:12.960 I swore to get you, Benny. 24:12.960 --> 24:13.960 Why? 24:13.960 --> 24:18.960 Because you've always, you never leave me alone, because you've been hounding me, just because I pulled a couple of lousy murders. 24:18.960 --> 24:20.960 What are you going to do? 24:20.960 --> 24:26.960 I'm going to put a red eye between them two blue ones. 24:26.960 --> 24:28.960 Where'd you get the gun? 24:28.960 --> 24:30.960 You didn't frisk me so good when I came in, did you? 24:30.960 --> 24:39.960 No, no, when I put my hand in your pocket, I found a dollar bill, and I got so excited, I didn't look at it. 24:39.960 --> 24:40.960 Look at, look at baby face. 24:40.960 --> 24:42.960 Look at, I'm not mad at you or anything. 24:42.960 --> 24:44.960 Look at, I'm, I don't want to die. 24:44.960 --> 24:46.960 Look at, I'm too young to die. 24:46.960 --> 24:47.960 Honest, I am. 24:47.960 --> 24:48.960 I'm a nice guy, I'll live you alone. 24:48.960 --> 24:49.960 Everybody loves me. 24:49.960 --> 24:50.960 Everybody. 24:50.960 --> 24:55.960 You love me, don't you, fellas? 24:55.960 --> 25:01.960 Alright, alright, copper, start praying, I'm going to let you have it. 25:01.960 --> 25:04.960 Oh yeah? 25:04.960 --> 25:06.960 I know your type, baby face. 25:06.960 --> 25:09.960 You're all alike. 25:09.960 --> 25:12.960 You're pretty brave with that gun in your hand, ain't you? 25:12.960 --> 25:15.960 Throw that gun away, I'll show you a coward. 25:15.960 --> 25:16.960 Okay. 25:16.960 --> 25:32.960 How about that? 25:32.960 --> 25:34.960 Come on, Sarah, let's go get that pot roast. 25:34.960 --> 25:35.960 Be my guest. 25:35.960 --> 25:47.960 I'm walking behind you. 25:47.960 --> 25:53.960 Jack will be back in just a moment with his special guest Humphrey Bogart, but first, a word from Carthy Collins. 25:53.960 --> 25:58.960 Smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste, and the fact of the matter is... 25:58.960 --> 26:06.960 Luckies taste better, cleaner, fresher, smoother. 26:06.960 --> 26:10.960 For Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, richer, tastier, fine tobacco. 26:10.960 --> 26:14.960 Luckies taste better, cleaner, fresher, smoother. 26:14.960 --> 26:16.960 Lucky Strike, Lucky Strike. 26:16.960 --> 26:18.960 Sure, Luckies taste better. 26:18.960 --> 26:21.960 Everybody knows Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. 26:21.960 --> 26:25.960 Fine, light, mild tobacco that just naturally tastes better. 26:25.960 --> 26:27.960 And Luckies are made better. 26:27.960 --> 26:32.960 They're round and firm and fully packed to draw freely and smoke evenly. 26:32.960 --> 26:37.960 With fine tobacco in a better made cigarette, golly, you're just bound to get better taste. 26:37.960 --> 26:43.960 Smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste, you know, and the fact of the matter is... 26:43.960 --> 26:47.960 Luckies taste better, cleaner, fresher, smoother. 26:47.960 --> 27:01.960 Eaily, Lucky Strike, Eaily, Lucky Strike. 27:01.960 --> 27:07.960 When the sketch was over, I found that I had enjoyed it even more than my radio show. 27:07.960 --> 27:13.960 I was laughing so much I could hardly thank Humphrey Bogart for helping me give such a great performance. 27:13.960 --> 27:18.960 Bogie told me that he thought he had handled his role extremely well. 27:18.960 --> 27:26.960 He believes in being honest with himself, too. 27:26.960 --> 27:33.960 Then he told me about his new picture, Beat the Devil, with Jennifer Jones. 27:33.960 --> 27:49.960 Then I told him about the last picture I made. 27:49.960 --> 27:54.960 Oh, I almost forgot to tell the audience that I'll be doing my next television show in three weeks. 27:54.960 --> 27:56.960 That's right, ladies and gentlemen. 27:56.960 --> 27:59.960 I'll be with you three weeks from today. 27:59.960 --> 28:05.960 And I believe, I'm pretty sure my guest star is going to be Johnny Ray. 28:05.960 --> 28:10.960 You see, I feel that I'm responsible for Johnny Ray's success. 28:10.960 --> 28:16.960 Because when I offered him a job a long time ago, he asked me for an awful lot of money and I cried. 28:16.960 --> 28:21.960 And then he stole that from me. 28:21.960 --> 28:24.960 So he's going to be my guest. Thank you very much. 28:24.960 --> 28:48.960 The 28:48.960 --> 28:52.960 pairing on tonight's program were Sarah Berner and Benny Rubin. 28:52.960 --> 28:55.960 Remember, one week from tonight on this same station, 28:55.960 --> 29:01.960 Dan Southern returns in Private Secretary. 29:01.960 --> 29:04.960 The Jack Benny program has been brought to you by Lucky Strike, 29:04.960 --> 29:11.960 product of the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes. 29:11.960 --> 29:21.960 This is Don Wilson saying, be happy, go lucky. 29:21.960 --> 29:26.960 Sunday's Ed Sullivan's Toast of the Town on the CBS Television Network.