Hey, Doc! Leave it on. That's a good horn. Can you get me something for this poison ivy?
It's killing me. I've got it on my fingers, too. Take your pants off. Come on, hurry it
up. Come on, come on, will you? All of it. Okay, boys. Come on.
On March 4th, 1925, the big news of the day was the inauguration of Calvin Coolidge.
I have my own reason for remembering that date. I was elected, too, to three-month special
duty in Brooklyn by Captain Black Jack McCluskey. Brooklyn was an estate. A rat pack of young
punks were terrorizing an entire area, heisting, massalling, four and five jobs a night. They
particularly liked drug stores, cash, and their name, the poison ivy mob. If we had
known one more thing about them, it would have made my job a lot easier. Harry Schultz,
alias Harry the Horse, three-time loser, sick with TB, and dangerous as only a man who has
nothing to lose can be. I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting him yet, but since he was the rat
pack number one man, I thought I should. My name's Barney Raditsky. Twenty years detective,
police department, city of New York, on temporary duty to the 62nd precinct, Brooklyn. Assignment,
catch a pack of rats. Simple? Maybe. How? First step, talk to a pigeon.
Buy yourself a Kishta. Thanks Harry. Say, Raditsky's in Brooklyn sniffing around. Says
he wants to talk to you. I'll bet he would. You let the word on the street that if he
don't get out of Brooklyn, I'm gonna cut his greasy heart out. Tell him I'll pay for the
subway. I'm out for the funeral. These guys ought to listen to me. That Park Avenue punk
is no good. Hey dingaling, there's nothing wrong with rich guys that money doesn't cure.
Yeah, well you guys are gonna laugh out of the other side of your face, I'm telling you.
That rich sister's goofy. Hey, goofy dingaling, I bet you even money you hear bells right
now. Push me. Go ahead, push me. A Jaeger goes unless for laughs. Laughs? Banana oil.
Kicks, that's what he gets. Laughing at us, he gets kicks. Hey, did you see the expression
on that filth under his face? I laughed, I thought I would split. What'd you split, your
girdle? Hey, whoa, whoa. I'll show you what I'll split. Let him go, I want to see if his
blood's blue. Let him go. All right, Portia, shut up. Harry's gonna walk in. No, Harry's
not gonna walk in. Oh, a mind reader too. Maybe you're telling Harry what to do, huh,
maybe? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you mean he's not coming? I see him on his way
out and he says for you to wait for him in the dormitory tonight. He's going to Polly's.
Oh, so what's the news about that? Harry says for us to sit tight. Ruditsky's in Brooklyn
maybe after us. Ruditsky? Hey, Ruditsky, Big Shot Detective. Hey, we're getting up in the
world, huh? Hey, Ruditsky, I don't like. Oh, what are you afraid of, is he? If he gets
on our back, then Harry'll do what the Big Shots in New York and Jersey are scared to
do. What do you mean, kill a cop? Yeah. Hey, you think he would? Sure, Harry's a three-time
loser. What's he got to lose? Lose. I want to see Polly. Polly? What do you want with
Polly? I ain't saying she's here, but if she was, what do you want with her? I'm a friend
of hers. You look like a cop to me. Right again. Listen, you over that gin-soaked mouth
of yours and I'll run you in for distilling. You got enough bathtub stuff on the premises
to send you up for five years. A copper, a stinkin' copper. Save the blondie, where is
she? Who are you talking about? Listen, don't get cute with me now. Ruditsky, why don't
you stay out of the way, you hear? I'm gonna give him a dose of lead poison. Harry, Harry,
please don't kill him here, they'll burn me. Oh, baby. For you, he gets a reprieve. But
if he gets rough, scratch your head and I'll cure the itch. What do you want? Polly. What
do you want? Polly Ruditsky. Ruditsky, what are you doing in Flatbush? Yeah, come on,
open up, I want to talk to you. I'm in bed now, look me up some other time, huh? No,
not some other time right now. Now open up or I'll break in the door. Go ahead, break
in. I'm in bed and naked. But you go ahead, break in. I'll yell. Start yelling. Get out,
you copper. Why don't you look under the blanket? You know what I'm looking for. Where is it?
My dad's in Sing Sing. I know, I sent him there. And you keep it up, you're gonna wind
up in Bedford. What, have you got a crystal ball? Where's Harry the horse? What are you
asking me? You're the fortune teller. Now look, Polly, don't patsy with me. I know,
I know you're his chum. Get out, you no good flatfoot while you're still breathing. You're
gonna get everything you deserve and it's too bad too because you're not a dumb kid.
You finished high school, you had a chance to get off the street. Save your breath, Ruditsky.
If you got brains, you'll beat it. Where's Harry? He want me to book you on vacancy.
Go ahead, pull the blanket. The judge will give you a coolant. There's laws protecting
women from men like you. But go ahead, touch me. You don't deserve a break. I hadn't promised
your mother that I'd... Oh, that's how you found me, huh? My old lady blabbered. What,
did you give her a fin to talk or did she cry that malarkey? Please, Mr. Ruditsky, you
gotta do something for my baby. She's a bad girl. She takes after that no good... But
it is a good patch and that you won't forget. Go ahead, slap me. You haven't got the guts.
Next time I catch up with you, I'm gonna take you in. On what charge? Vacancy. And it wouldn't
hurt for the health department to take a look at you.
Harry? Harry?
Harry? Harry?
Harry, you're gonna be alright, baby. Wait a sec. You're gonna be alright.
Oh, they're dirty rats. Oh, the coppers. Rats, that's what they are. Take your hands off
me, you old hag. Okay, Buster, I got carried away. I ought to know them better. They're
all alike. What's that? Nothing, Buster. Skip it. Where are you going? Oh, for crying out
loud, Harry. A time like this, you're picked to fight... Shut up. Go get Lippy. And you
ain't leaving. Lippy, Harry, you need a doc. He learned enough in Sing Sing Infirmary.
Okay, Harry, it's your funeral. And it'll be yours too, so don't get any ideas, baby.
Remember that. You don't trust no one, do you, Harry? Not even himself. That's right.
Shut up!
So you're thinking like you're Harry the Horse. What's your next system, reading bumps on
heads? Captain, I bet you ten years psychology is an important part of crime deduction.
Sure, like the joker who claims he's got a machine that'll tell you when a guy's lying.
You gotta keep an open mind. All right, all right, it's open. When do you figure to nail
Harry the Horse? Well, I'm Harry, see? And I fag in a snappy bunch of young punks in
Brooklyn who will eat grass if I tell them to eat grass. So tell them to knock over a
couple of drugstores. Which one's tonight? I'm Harry. I get the word that Ruditsky's
in Brooklyn to knock over my mob. So? So I want to make him look like a jerk. That's
your problem. But if you don't nab this mob after all the trouble I went to with the commissioner
to get you transferred here, I look like the jerk. So I give an audit to the punks, go
play pot cheesing. No jobs, no leads. Ruditsky looks like a fool. Come on, Barney, talk sense.
What'll I do to pass the time while I'm laughing at Ruditsky? Pot cheesing? Polly. We're right
back where we started. My system never fails. Where you going? Back to Polly.
Oh, now, this bull's gonna hurt worse than the neck. How do I get the plaster on? He's
gonna need trained attention. Yeah, well, I'll give him whatever he needs. Yeah, he
may not walk right again. Harry wants to walk right, he'll walk right, I know. Yeah, well,
I know gangrene. Who asked you? Just doing my job, honey, just doing my job. Yeah, well,
you call me honey again and I'll put your head in that plaster. Ruditsky. I want Ruditsky.
I want Ruditsky. Tell the boys. Tell them all. Yeah, tell them, honey. Ruditsky's yours.
Tell them. Tell them. Easy, easy.
Tell them. I need to talk to you. quel.
What do you want?
You want a guest?
Yeah, you don't have the answer.
Smart copper.
Holly, come on, open up.
We're going to talk some more.
Save your breath.
Four dollars a week.
Sixteen per month to you and two weeks in advance.
You know all the answers?
Gonna try me?
I have to beat her up to get rid of her?
Zero.
Why the plaster of Paris?
Fix up the cracks in the walls?
Two more hits and you get a cigar.
Listen to you, old hag.
You know something and you're going to tell me.
Harry called me that too.
I'll fix him now.
You all take care of later.
Harry was here?
Yeah, what was left of him.
Harry, Holly and the pill pusher.
We had a party.
We patched up Harry.
Smart copper.
I'll get even with you.
What?
You don't know a cat from a rat.
Go on.
Well...
She got even with Harry for calling her an old hag.
She told me the whole story.
She even got even with me for calling her an old hag.
She pointed out how I had him under my nose and let him get away because...
I couldn't tell a cat from a rat.
The old hag.
She was right on one other count too.
Harry went into a hole to lick his wounds.
Took his mob undercover with him.
In Brooklyn, when it's quiet, you worry.
So...
I worried.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh-huh, what else?
Sure.
That's great.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, gotcha.
Thanks.
Hey!
Polly says he's getting up tomorrow.
Hey!
For like a hundred years.
I feel Harry liked it on his back.
What? What? What?
So terrible to hold up with a girl like Polly taking care of you?
If I had to hear you guys beef another day, I would have gone home tonight.
Yeah, man, Harry feels like he was in stir.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know we ought to give him the special treatment.
What do you mean?
Like a homecoming.
Well, we ought to give him a ding-a-ling party.
Yeah, good idea.
Yeah, where are we going to get the dough?
Hey, we got enough for groceries, but for a shin-dig, no.
Yeah, well, what are we going to...
Hey, wait a minute.
I know what we can do.
Let's pull a special job for Harry.
Yeah!
That will give him a bash.
Hey, that will give him a real jolt.
Put Harry back on his piss.
Now, keep your yaps closed.
I mean, it's got to be a surprise.
That's half the kicks.
Come on, let's go.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
Can I have my wallet with my kids' pictures in it, please, Mr....
What are you doing, opening your own business?
Can't that guy have a laugh?
Come on, move!
You want to make speeches, I'll get your soapbox at the bats.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
Hello, Rudisky.
What?
Where?
All right, hold him there, huh?
Yeah, I'm on my way.
Right.
♪♪♪
What's that?
Is this the guy that hurt him?
♪♪♪
Will you tell me just exactly what you heard?
Well, I was on my way to work.
I was the manager at the Gordon Shoe Factory.
Yes, fine.
Well, the officer got that report, didn't he?
Yeah.
All right, now just spare yourself and tell me exactly what was said.
I'll see you at the bats.
That's all?
Yeah, that's all I heard, and then they stopped talking.
Tell me again.
I'll speak to you at the bats.
Now, wait a minute. First you said, see you at the bats.
Now you say, speak to you at the bats.
Which was it?
What's the difference?
See, say, speak.
What's it like?
What's the difference?
See, speak, schmake, scheme.
Turkish, Russian, Swedish.
After three months plus, I had a big lead.
A man with somebody else's pants draped over his head heard something about bats.
Before even looking, I figured the bats could number hundreds in each borough times five.
Big lead.
Captain McCluskey said, cover them.
What do you got to lose?
Now, don't tell me you don't need a bath.
Everybody needs to sweat a bit.
It'll be good for you.
Just what you need.
Yeah, maybe.
But not five times a day.
Kids play a game of hide and seek.
One tells the other that you're getting closer.
Closer.
You're hot.
You're warm.
You're cold.
Hotter.
That's me.
I didn't need anybody to tell me I was hot.
Hot, I knew.
What I wanted to know was whether I was getting closer or getting dehydrated for nothing.
He says, what's the big surprise?
So I says, the boys would like you should let us tell you in poison.
I bid you guys, these seats are reserved.
Will you hear about how he picked up 300 bucks?
Say, that guy had to be a crook.
Nobody legit carries that kind of cabbage.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, look, Dingaling.
You sure he said the ninth?
Oh, sure, I'm sure.
What do you think?
Listen, we'll be good here.
It's going to be some surprise.
I ain't had a laugh like this since the last job.
He's well enough to come over.
We timed the job perfect.
Hey, you guys better tighten your lip.
We're not alone.
Park Avenue, I'm telling you, you tell them to shut up.
Yeah, come on, come on, bullies.
Hey, who's going to tell the horse about the party?
You tell them.
All right, boys, you're under arrest.
Now, give me ideas.
Hey, Dirty Seamus.
You got nothing on us.
You must be mistaken, officer.
You know who I am?
Yeah, he must be a cop.
He's got flat feet.
What, are you kidding me?
Hey, where's your badge?
You're supposed to be a big cop.
Where's your badge?
How do we know you're a cop?
You got no badge.
Hey, what are you sweating for?
You scared?
You know, with no badge, you ain't legal.
And I'm as real dead scared.
If you want a personal introduction, just try something.
Come on out, boys.
Glad you showed, Harry.
We've been waiting for you.
Get over there.
Oh, uh, blow me a nickel, will you, Harry?
Oh, come on, Harry.
Harry, be careful.
You're going to wind up with both of your legs back in a plastic cast.
That will have an awful tough job strapping you into the chair.
Now, be a good sport and give me that nickel you promised to get me out of Brooklyn.
Thank you.
Now, drop your sheets and towels.
All of you.
And if you like it, a little dose of your own medicine.
A little drafty.
Spring 3-100.
Official police, Raditsky, 936.
Thank you.
Now, Raditsky, send a wagon over to Pitkin Avenue Baths, will you?
Got some boys wanting a little surprise party, so we're going to give them one.
Harry the Horse tried to jump out of a window at the prison hospital.
If he hadn't already been crippled, he might have made it.
He died in the prison hospital.
He was right about one thing.
He had nothing to lose.
The rest of the punks copped tens and twenties...
and graduated too late to enjoy the rest of that hysterical period known as the Lawless Years.
Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
© BF-WATCH TV 2021
© BF-WATCH TV 2021