OLIVEE GOLDSMITH S LIFE AND TIMES. [BOOK II.
1*58 "I am certainly-wrong," he continues, "not to be contented with.
,TTft " what I already possess, trifling as it is ; for should I ask myself one
jXiy. OU*
"serious question,—What is it I want?—What can I answer? My
" desires are as capricious as the big-bellied Woman's, who longed for
" a piece of her husband's nose. I have no certainty, it is true ; but
" why cannot I do as some men of more merit, who have lived on more
" precarious terms 1 Scarron used jestingly to call himself the marquis
" of Quenaultj which was the name of the bookseller that employed
" him; and why may not I assert my privilege and quality on the
" same pretensions 1 Yet, upon deliberation, whatever airs I give
" myself on this side of the water, my dignity, I fancy, would be evapo-
" rated before I reached the other. I know you have in Ireland a
" very indifferent idea of a man who writes for bread; though Swift
" and Steele did so in the earliest part of their lives. You imagine, I
" suppose, that every author, by profession, lives in a garret, wears
"shabby cloaths, and converses with the meanest company. Yet I do
" not believe there is one single writer, who has abilities to translate a
"French-novel, that does not keep better company, wear finer cloaths,
" and live more genteelly, than many who pride themselves for nothing
" else in Ireland. I confess it again, my clear Dan, that nothing but
" the wildest ambition could prevail on me to leave the enjoyment of
" the refined conversation which I am sometimes admitted to partake
" in, for uncertain fortune, and paltry shew. You cannot conceive how
" I am sometimes divided: to leave all that is dear to me gives me
u pain; but when I consider, I may possibly acquire a genteel indepen-
" dance for life : when I think of that dignity which philosophy claims,
" to raise itself above contempt and ridicule ; when I think thus, I
" eagerly long to embrace every opportunity of separating myself from
"the vulgar, as much in my circumstances, as I am already in my
" sentiments. I am going to publish a book, for an account of which
"I refer you to a letter which I wrote to my brother Goldsmith.
" Circulate for me among your acquaintances a hundred proposals,
" which. I have given orders may be sent to you : and if, in pursuance
" of such circulation, you should receive any subscriptions, let them,
"when collected, be transmitted to Mr. Bradley, who will give a
" receipt for the same/' [Omitting here, says the Percy Memoir, what
relates to private family affairs, he then adds :] " I know not how my
" desire of seeing Ireland, which had so long slept, has again revived
" with so much ardour. So weak is my temper, and so unsteady, that
"I am frequently tempted, particularly when low-spirited, to rettira
" home and leave my fortune, though just beginning to look kinder.