kept himself wide awake until It was^ safe to steal
down and tend her; every night he anointed Mireio's
sores and the growths that were eating into her body.
But the sores did not heal nor the growths diminish;
on the contrary the growths seemed to get larger.
Then Christophe humbled himself to Saint Loup5
and as he did this he became a child who must
think,, and pray, and hope as a child: CI asked you to
make me like Jan/ prayed Christophe; CI asked you
not to let me see pain ... I will see all the pain, yes,
all the pain in the world, if only you will help me to
cure Mireio. I know I am a very great sinner — a
thief; I know that I ought to confess to the Cure,
but I do not want to confess to him just yet because
he might tell me to give back the ointment. Let me
keep it a little while longer, please, Saint Loup, in case
it should really be good for Mireio. But I promise that
I will go to confession and that I will ask for a very
hard penance. I will say to the Cure: "I am vile in
all ways.55 I will read my Examination of Conscience
so that I may not forget one sin, and then I will ask
for a very hard penance. I will tell him how much I
enjoy bouillabaisse, and little new cakes that are
covered with sugar, and tisane de menthe that is
made very sweet. Then perhaps he will say: "None
of these shall you have for a year." Or perhaps he
may even say: "Never, never again must you eat
bouillabaisse. And remember when you see it, or even
smell it and feel hungry because you like it so much,
that you stole a pot of ointment from your mother!"
And never again will I eat bouillabaisse if only you
will help me to cure Mireio, Think of your nightin-
gale, Golden Saint Loup — it was little and helpless
and so you felt pity. Mireio is terribly large, I know,
but I beg you to try and pity her also. Tell our Lord
that I do not want to be spared, that. I am-quite-
ready to go on feeling sorry. Tell Him that I do not
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