'yet often I seem to hear someone speak them who is
very far off. But then comes the thought that there is
no time and no distance; it is all here and now . . .
it is all only ONE, but I do not know what. . . .*
His pale eyes sought Jan's face, It is all only one,
just one,5 he repeated.
Jan said anxiously: 'It may be that you are hungry.
I have read that those who need food will imagine
many things — I must try to bring you more food.
Perhaps I can even bring you some meat, although
that is less easy to get from my mother.' In his heart
he was thinking: 'He will never make a priest.
Supposing he should talk in this queer way to sinners,
supposing he should suddenly start to preach about
there being no time and no distance, about everything
being only one thing; they would think he was mad —
even madder than Anfos.5 But when Christophe
insisted that it was not hunger, divining the doubt in
the heart of his cousin, Jan found his hand and held
it in his: 'I am going to pray to our Lady of Good
Counsel, for I cannot myself comprehend what it
means any more than you can, and perhaps she will
help. God is three and yet one — do you think it
means that?5
Christophe shook his head: 'More, oh, a great deal
more; and sometimes it seems to come very near, but
then it goes back and I lose it again.5
'Goes back?5 murmured Jan.
'Yes, back into me . . . deep down . . . and when
it is very deep down it is lost because I can no longer
think it ... because. . . .5 He hesitated, bewildered.
And now his strange eyes looked almost beseeching
so that Jan made a last rather desperate effort: 'I
have it!5 he cried, CI now know what it means; the
oneness you speak of means your Communion. By
receiving the wafer you receive our Lord, Of course
that is what it means, your Communion.5
320